Kids who make fun of homeschoolers

[lgliser]

We have made it this far (4th grade) and never had an issue but in the last 2 weeks my kids have been made fun of twice for being homeschooled.  It wasn't horrible and my kids are pretty confident kids so they weren't traumatized or anything... I'm sure it is bothering me more than it bothered them.

 

But I'm just curious.... what do you tell your kids to say to people who call them nerds just because they're homeschooled.  I'd like my kids to be able to say something!  They told me they just ignored it, which isn't bad but I feel like sometimes there might be occasion to defend themselves somehow.

Edited October 16, 2016 by lgliser

[klmama]

If anything, my dc just laugh and agree.  They are different than their traditionally-schooled friends.  They don't take being called a nerd or a geek as an insult, but rather as an observation that they have different interests and motivations.  I don't think any non-homeschoolers have called them nerds in an actual attempt to be mean, though.  It was more in a "I like you, so I'm going to tease you" sort of way or "You're different, and I'm trying to figure it out" sort of way.  

[Jean in Newcastle]

I agree.  My kids just laughed and agreed.  It takes the wind out of someone's sails if it really was said to be annoying. 

[lgliser]

 

 

If anything, my dc just laugh and agree.  They are different than their traditionally-schooled friends.  They don't take being called a nerd or a geek as an insult, but rather as an observation that they have different interests and motivations.  I don't think any non-homeschoolers have called them nerds in an actual attempt to be mean, though.  It was more in a "I like you, so I'm going to tease you" sort of way or "You're different, and I'm trying to figure it out" sort of way.  

Hopefully you're right. The first time it was one kid saying it to my three kids. The second time it was a kid on my son's baseball team, to just my son. I don't really understand the "you're different" part in this case though! He gets along with his teammates just fine. But I guess the revelation that they have different styles of education may have come as a surprise and he just didn't know what to say! 

[IsabelC]

We have only had the opposite problem: awkwardness when other kids start pestering their parents about wanting to leave school and be home educated. 

[....]

We usually just stare in disbelief.   :glare: 

 

I feel like we've seen it all at this point.  People quizzing my kids out of nowhere...(ugh, why, People, why??)...kids trying to convince my kids to go to school...relatives secretly asking other relatives to quiz my kids to find out if they're behind...other kids telling my kids that their parents want them to have friends and that's why they go to school (Dude, you're sitting in MY living room, playing MY Xbox   :confused: ).

 

Oh, and my personal favorite (but not related to homeschooling) - kids on the playground running up to my kids asking them what country they're from (my kids are Asian).   :svengo:

 

I really think the worst is when relatives quiz our kids or ask OTHER relatives to quiz our kids.  It's like, "Why don't you just ask us what they do for school?  I would just tell you."  I'm actually starting a homeschool blog, because I'm weirded out that family members are "checking up on us".  Maybe they thought it was harmless when the kids were 6 or 7, but now that they're teenagers, they're suspicious or something.  

[....]

We have only had the opposite problem: awkwardness when other kids start pestering their parents about wanting to leave school and be home educated. 

 

Lol!  We've had this happen, too!

[Tanaqui]

People quizzing my kids out of nowhere.

 

I guess I'm lucky, the only person to do that is my mother! But she did that when they were in school, and she did that to us when we were kids as well. Heck, she does it to me today! "What's the capital of Turkey?" "Which animal saved the city of Rome?" "Is the etymology of tattoo like on your skin related to the etymology of tattoo like to beat a drum?" (I asked her about it once, and she said she's trying to prove to her coworkers that I actually know everything. Thanks? Admittedly, I did know all those things off the top of my head, but still!)

 

Still, we did go through an awkward year where she kept randomly hitting them up for US History facts and I kept saying "Actually, we're focusing on world history right now" (because I think it's more interesting) but she seems to have finally taken the hint. (Plus, I managed to get her to meet some of the girls' friends who go to school - some of them to very good schools - and she's starting to get an idea of what children that age actually know. Our family is composed mostly of the sort of children who read the NYTimes in kindergarten and eagerly browse through the dictionary for fun, and I don't think my mother has ever quite grasped how unusual that is.)

[Mrs.Wilson]

The only time any of my kids were quizzed was by another kid.  He asked my son what school he goes to.  My son said he's homeschooled.  Then the child said, "Oh really?  Well, what's 3+4?"  Seriously, kid!?  That's the hardest question you could come up with?

[TranquilMind]

We have made it this far and never had an issue but in the last 2 weeks my kids have been made fun of twice for being homeschooled.  It wasn't horrible and my kids are pretty confident kids so they weren't traumatized or anything... I'm sure it is bothering me more than it bothered them.

 

But I'm just curious.... what do you tell your kids to say to people who call them nerds just because they're homeschooled.  I'd like my kids to be able to say something!  They told me they just ignored it, which isn't bad but I feel like sometimes there might be occasion to defend themselves somehow.

Mine always said stuff like, "I get to sleep in.  I don't have to wait at a freezing bus stop."   and similar things, in the rare event that they heard something like this. 

[RootAnn]

Mine would probably say something about how they aren't nerds compared to some of their OTHER homeschool friends. But, sure, one loves math & most of them like reading. 

[HomeMum]

I tell them not to let anyone have power over you. When you let other people's words have strong effects over you its giving them the control and power over the situation. Just like a few people said earlier, don't give the joy. Don't give them the pleasure of bullying or insulting. Hold your head high and shrug. There isn't anything more annoying than that. If you can actually appear really confident its like slapping them in the face without doing a thing. When people realize they have no effect on you, they either retreat, sort of stare in shock, or in rare cases pester on. Any "pester on" usually results to something pretty lame that you can just laugh at.

[maize]

"Sounds like you're jealous."

 

:)

[Dmmetler]

The only time any of my kids were quizzed was by another kid. He asked my son what school he goes to. My son said he's homeschooled. Then the child said, "Oh really? Well, what's 3+4?" Seriously, kid!? That's the hardest question you could come up with?

DD had one of those at dance after hearing DD is homeschooled (DD was 9 at the time).

"DO you know what 6x9 is?"

 

DD- 54. Do you know what f(3)= if f(x)=x^2-9?

 

All said in a Wednesday Addams deadpan.

[dirty ethel rackham]

DD had one of those at dance after hearing DD is homeschooled (DD was 9 at the time).

"DO you know what 6x9 is?"

 

DD- 54. Do you know what f(3)= if f(x)=x^2-9?

 

All said in a Wednesday Addams deadpan.

 

Best comeback ever!!

 

[Roscoe]

I was homeschooled myself - I notice, as an adult, it's mostly people my own age who are weirded out by it (and like to trot out the "socialization" shibboleth). People who were adults while I was homeschooling have always been cool with it.

[daijobu]

I've been homeschooling 11 years now, and I've never received a negative comments, either from friends or family.  I think it's in my corner of the world, there are so many weirdos and nerds, that we don't even register a blip on people's consciousness.  

 

I will admit to having a very savvy MIL.  Instead of quizzing my kids directly, she played Monopoly with them.  Fortunately, they were well-versed in mental math (Thanks, Singapore!) and could make change with aplomb.  That satisfied her.  

[daijobu]

If anything, my dc just laugh and agree.  They are different than their traditionally-schooled friends.  

 

I agree.  We need to own our weirdness.  This is actually what I say to people I haven't seen in a while.  "Okay, so my weird thing is I homeschool my kids!"  

[...................]

My kids are proud of their weirdness.  They are thankful for who they are and glad that they read ten million books, program, love to play board games, etc. etc.

 

Also, as your kids get older the comments will probably reverse. My kids friends mostly hate school, and wish they were homeschooled.  Not all of them of course but a good number. :)

[Hobbes]

People comment to us, but usually that I must be supermom (not!!) and they could never do it (most could, if they wanted/needed to). Most of our kids' friends say they wish they could be homeschooled, which really helps.

 

Growing up, we mostly took the "own your weirdness" approach and it worked pretty well. It's hard to tease someone who is confident. My kids are constantly telling me that they are glad they aren't in school because "then we couldn't do _____". Of course, they aren't middle schoolers yet...

[dirty ethel rackham]

"Sounds like you're jealous."

 

:)

Hey

I tell them not to let anyone have power over you. When you let other people's words have strong effects over you its giving them the control and power over the situation. Just like a few people said earlier, don't give the joy. Don't give them the pleasure of bullying or insulting. Hold your head high and shrug. There isn't anything more annoying than that. If you can actually appear really confident its like slapping them in the face without doing a thing. When people realize they have no effect on you, they either retreat, sort of stare in shock, or in rare cases pester on. Any "pester on" usually results to something pretty lame that you can just laugh at.

 

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[lgliser]

Thanks so much, guys! (I'm sorry the original post got posted twice).

 

You all crack me up and give great advice!

 

I'm glad that Sam reacted the way he did... I think (and really hope) that it was a one time thing with this kid.

[HS Mom in NC]

OP, what exactly does "make fun of" mean?  What exactly did the kids actually say to your kids? 

 

Nerd isn't necessarily seen as an insult inside or outside of the homeschooling community. Lots of people use it to mean liking the fantasy genre or being especially enthusiastic or knowledgeable  about a particular interest or genre like, "I'm a book nerd." or "I'm a history nerd." or "I'm a computer geek." or "I'm a Star Wars nerd."

[IsabelC]

Nerd isn't necessarily seen as an insult inside or outside of the homeschooling community. Lots of people use it to mean liking the fantasy genre or being especially enthusiastic or knowledgeable  about a particular interest or genre like, "I'm a book nerd." or "I'm a history nerd." or "I'm a computer geek." or "I'm a Star Wars nerd."

I don't know whether it may be a bit regional, but I posted on Facebook about kids being nerds (because I thought it mostly just meant someone who is especially bright and/or interested in a skill or topic compared to others), and got flamed by people who found the term offensive and felt that it implied social awkwardness and unpopularity.

Edited October 17, 2016 by IsabelC

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know whether it may be a bit regional, but I posted on Facebook about kids being nerds (because I thought it mostly just meant someone who is especially bright and/or interested in a skill or topic compared to others), and got flamed by people who found the term offensive and felt that it implied social awkwardness and unpopularity.

I think that people get overly sensitive. In my area among kids it can even be a badge of honor. Of course if someone's tone, demeanor and accompanying words are mean then it is a different thing. But the word itself? Not that big of a deal.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AMJ]

The only time any of my kids were quizzed was by another kid.  He asked my son what school he goes to.  My son said he's homeschooled.  Then the child said, "Oh really?  Well, what's 3+4?"  Seriously, kid!?  That's the hardest question you could come up with?

 

 

"Oh, haven't you covered that in math yet?  If you need help we can ask our parents to let me tutor you!"

[AMJ]

DD had one of those at dance after hearing DD is homeschooled (DD was 9 at the time).

"DO you know what 6x9 is?"

 

DD- 54. Do you know what f(3)= if f(x)=x^2-9?

 

All said in a Wednesday Addams deadpan.

 

 

Perfect!

[lgliser]

DH has a sticker on his car that says "geek." No idea if it's regional or what but he usually says that geek means someone who's really bright in a certain topic and nerd is more derogatory. He wears the computer geek label with pride.

 

In any case, this 9 year old certainly wasn't complimenting my son. Again, this bugged me way more than it bugged him. He's a really level headed kid. Incidentally, this same kid told him last night at baseball that he wanted to fight him because he didn't like him because he was fat. (He's not fat... not even a little).

 

Anyway, even though he doesn't get bothered by things like this, I feel like I wanted to give him a few ideas of things he could confidently reply with, if he felt like he wanted to. I've definitely gotten some good ideas here - thank you!

[Julie of KY]

I figure if it is really teasing, then that will happen in some form sometime in life no matter what you do.

 

As far as homeschooling, my kids have never been made fun of for homeschooling. They or I sometimes get odd questions, but that is just a lack of knowing. How do you know your kids are learning? How do you know when to start the next grade?

[HS Mom in NC]

I still have no idea what was actually said, so there's no way I can form an opinion about whether or it was derogatory or not.  I'm not prone to accepting the conclusions of others, I draw my own conclusions. 

[fralala]

In any case, this 9 year old certainly wasn't complimenting my son. Again, this bugged me way more than it bugged him. He's a really level headed kid. Incidentally, this same kid told him last night at baseball that he wanted to fight him because he didn't like him because he was fat. (He's not fat... not even a little).

 

Well, it really hurts to hear about kids picking on or bullying our kids, but I always tell my own children that I am so relieved it wasn't THEM doing the bullying. In your situation, I would tell my son I'm proud of him and think he's awesome and wish I could take a lesson in unflappability and poise from him. I'd give him a big hug and a high five. I would not give any unsolicited (by him) advice because I think, in this situation, that he absolutely doesn't need it. He's doing great!

[Sahamamama2]

We have made it this far (4th grade) and never had an issue but in the last 2 weeks my kids have been made fun of twice for being homeschooled.  It wasn't horrible and my kids are pretty confident kids so they weren't traumatized or anything... I'm sure it is bothering me more than it bothered them.

 

But I'm just curious.... what do you tell your kids to say to people who call them nerds just because they're homeschooled.  I'd like my kids to be able to say something!  They told me they just ignored it, which isn't bad but I feel like sometimes there might be occasion to defend themselves somehow.

 

I tell my kids to say, "Daddy, you know I'm only a nerd because you're a nerd."

[crazyforlatin]

"Nerd."

 

DD - "Loud and proud!"

 

DD should stop telling people she is homeschooled because other kids are asking her whether I can homeschool them.

[Little Women]

We haven't had negative comments from kids, but twice in the past few months, my middle schooler has met kids about her age who talk eagerly with her until they find out she is homeschooled. Then they abruptly stop and just walk away.    I have no idea why, since they were obviously doing just fine together a minute ago, and there isn't much that can be said in response, since they have just left.     :(       

[fairfarmhand]

If anything, my dc just laugh and agree.  They are different than their traditionally-schooled friends.  They don't take being called a nerd or a geek as an insult, but rather as an observation that they have different interests and motivations.  I don't think any non-homeschoolers have called them nerds in an actual attempt to be mean, though.  It was more in a "I like you, so I'm going to tease you" sort of way or "You're different, and I'm trying to figure it out" sort of way.  

This is it in a nushell

 

My kids might even give it back. "Hmm..nerd....what kind? You should be more specific? Like math nerd, word nerd, music nerd...what kind of nerd were you calling me?"