? about movies and language/profanity

[Renee in NC]

My dh and the guys who work for us swear...a lot. They try to tone it down around me, but I still hear it. I hear it from some of our customers (we are in a construction-related business.)

 

PariSarah, some of those neighborhood dudes are lucky to have the crazy white lady in their neighborhood!

[unsinkable]

You can see it that way if you like, I was asking a sincere question. I was asking the hive because I consider you people "normal" adults. I consider the people I know to be normal adults. I didn't start the thread to discuss people who use profanity, but because most movies I screen to watch have what I would consider an obscene amount of profanity, and I am honestly wondering if perhaps this is normal among normal adults.

 

You can be sincere and honest and still ask a loaded question.

 

But is someone says they swear often and excessively, you have already classified them as either a teen or a scummy kind of person.

 

To the best of my knowledge, very few teens post here.

 

Best wishes,

unsinkable scum

[Melissa in CA]

I'm tempted to give my opinion of the people who get all huffy about swearing but I'll refrain.

 

Well, I personally don't get "huffy" about swearing. I have never once asked a person to please watch their language around me. I'm a big girl, I can handle it. I don't like it, and I DO think it shows a lack of character...or is that maybe too much character? :lol:...but regardless, I treat the person the same as I would any of my friends who do not cuss. Most of my cussing friends don't cuss around me much though, probably because they know that I don't cuss. :confused:

 

My children have heard a variety of words, I have not shielded them from them. I grew up in a household of cussing maniacs, and still at 70+ years old they cuss at the drop of a hat. My kids roll their eyes and say things like, "Wow, grandma sure has a mouth on her doesn't she?" They love their grandparents, and my parents get respect from my kids for being their grandparents, but my boys don't respect their character at all. They actually look to them as the type of people they DON'T want to be. Sad, but true.

 

I personally see no reason to speak in vulgar language, except, well, to be vulgar. I can understand, to a degree, the use of cursing when angry and frustrated. The sense of relief to "let one fly" when upset feels somewhat liberating and satisfying! :lol: (I have said cr*p a time or two when upset...though I suppose for some that is not really cussing :D).

 

I don't at all understand why anyone would need to drop the F-bomb (or any other variety of word-bombs) in everyday speech though. :001_huh:

[TXMomof4]

They do in the army. DH comes home from a deployment or drill and is a big fat potty mouth.

 

I told him I'm going to use vinegar in his mouth next time if he doesn't clean it up.

[hornblower]

I don't at all understand why anyone would need to drop the F-bomb (or any other variety of word-bombs) in everyday speech though. :001_huh:

 

See, some of us don't think of these words as "bombs". They're part of our vocabulary, part of our humour, part of our rich tapestry of language. We are intelligent, articulate people, with degrees, and careers and an appreciation for art, history and culture.

 

And we swear. I swear in a couple languages.

 

The f word is actually not one that's in my vocab a lot except as a modifier to other words and I think I probably go days without saying it. But you know, the question was, do normal people swear? And I'm saying, yeah, I do. My friends do. We watch British comedy with a lot of swearing. Father Ted swears. The Vicar of Dibley swears. Not that I'm looking for theological excuses :lol:

[clwcain]

I'm a person who is a self confessed user of a variety of profanity & I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, at the level of disdain expressed for those of us who do. All the "it's immature, it's a sign of poor vocabulary, poor self control yada yada" comment.

 

I'm tempted to give my opinion of the people who get all huffy about swearing but I'll refrain.

:iagree:

And you're not alone, Hornblower. While I've cleaned up my language considerably over the last few years, I can still sling with the best of them.

 

And, yes, the people I work with in finance really do talk like The Sopranos.

[Crissy]

They love their grandparents, and my parents get respect from my kids for being their grandparents, but my boys don't respect their character at all. They actually look to them as the type of people they DON'T want to be. Sad, but true.

 

 

 

Because the grandparents include profanity in their vocabulary?

 

I grew up in a home with plenty of cussing. My dad is a retired ironworker, and the off color jokes and language he engaged in on a job site followed him home. To this day, his language remains rather colorful. I don't recall my mother using much profanity when I was young, but she sure does these days.

 

Still, they are incredible people with exceptional character.

 

A cuss word only rarely excapes me, but I'm not offended when other folks swear. I still think they're normal. ;)

[Melissa in CA]

They're part of our vocabulary, part of our humour, part of our rich tapestry of language.

 

I can appreciate that. :D

 

I have a friend who is a DJ...the funniest man you could ever meet. Every third word he says is a cuss word. Very vulgar man. It's part of who he is, his humor, his culture. It's. Just. Him. He keeps me in stitches laughing over his outrageous stories...while also mentally condemning his horrid language! :lol: My kids have never heard him cuss though, so he does know when to close off the tap.

 

I don't expect everyone to think/speak like me...that would make a dull world indeed...I just personally don't see a point to vulgar language. In the culture that I live in, it is considered improper and unclassy. In other cultural settings it is not.

 

Basically, for some, cussing is completely normal and for others, like me, it is not. ;)

 

We all have our opinions. ;)

[GreenKitty]

Not normal around here or with anyone that I know of.

 

It's really too bad, for lack of other words, that movie companies think it's just fine to put all that in. They want to desensitize us so that it's normal, I guess. Really a shame.

[clwcain]

It's really too bad, for lack of other words, that movie companies think it's just fine to put all that in. They want to desensitize us so that it's normal, I guess. Really a shame.

 

Nonsense. They write the way the people they know talk. Playwrights and screenwriters use the word necessary to express the idea or emotion they wish to convey. There's no nefarious plot to desensitize "normal" people.

 

I have choice words for such notions.

[PariSarah]

I'm tempted to give my opinion of the people who get all huffy about swearing but I'll refrain.

 

. . . we might be talking about different things when we're talking about the general scumminess of people who use swear words.

 

I mean, I don't let my kids use the word "stupid" or "idiot," and I try not to use them myself, because they're hurtful. That's not really what we're talking about, but it's reasonable to make moral judgments about people who are willing to speak hurtfully. It's a minor problem, as far as problems go, and it's somewhat of a red herring, so it's probably not even worth mentioning.

 

I feel differently about the sort of profanity that is allowed on nighttime network TV. That is, I don't let my kids use them, but I don't mind adults using them, within reason, and I use them myself when the occasion seems to warrant it. I don't really attach moral significance to the use of that "level," if you will, of profanity.

 

But I do attach moral significance to the uglier swear words--particularly the ones that are racially or sexually derogatory. The sheer number of swear words for female genitalia is disturbing, and the context in which such words are usually used absolutely sickens me. When I'm around people who are comfortable talking that way--not just using those words, but using them that way, to say something about women--I absolutely make character judgments. I absolutely tie their words to their beliefs and to their morals.

 

I once worked in a homebrewing store--which attracts a really different crowd than your standard knitting store, right? I was fine with that. Absolutely no problem. Until the one day when the owner had to leave early, which caused my fellow employees to abandon the (moderate) restraint they had to show around him. The things they said about their girlfriends, and how they said them, made me worry for my safety, quite frankly. I was never so glad for closing time. It wasn't "just because" they used "bad words." They were using those bad words quite intentionally to communicate something, and that something they were communicating was an absolute contempt for women, and for any societal standards regarding respect for women.

 

I don't believe that my curse-like-a-bricklayer thesis advisor means the same thing when he lets fly. (And he actually was a bricklayer, so he really can let fly!) Or when my delightfully . . . uh, eccentric grandmother curses in Croatian so that she can curse around the great-grandkids. :bigear: It's just palpably different. It's a difference that seems worth noting. I do believe it's possible for people to use profanity in a way that is morally indifferent. But I have also been in the presence of people whose profanity was absolutely tied to their character, and I would hate to see that connection dismissed as prejudice or thoughtlessness.

Edited October 6, 2008 by PariSarah
grammar, grammar, it's always the grammar!

[melmac]

Ya know, the cussing probably isn't necessary except for some situations, but I have a bigger problem more and more with having to see people F*****g. I'd much rather hear the word than have to see it in action, I mean there are movies specifically made for folks who enjoy it, why do I have to see it when I just want to watch a good movie? :001_huh:

[ChristusG]

Well, I guess the point is that some people don't consider your swear words to be swear words.

 

Our kids' friends consider the following to be swear words: "penis, breast, vulva, God, ass, ****, hell, ****, crap, darn, piss, pissed, PO'd, *****" etc. and it doesn't matter what the context is. If I'm discussing a ***** (female dog) with the kids I am not "allowed' to say "*****" if the neighbor kids are around. I am not allowed to say the word "god" regardless of context. If I am talking about being really really angry, I am not "allowed" to say "pissed". If I am talking about a body part, I am not allowed to say the body part. It is important to my kids and important to their friends, so I don't say the words (or I try not to) but I honestly don't understand why body parts are "swear" words. And why stating the name of a diety is considered a swear word (not god****, but simply the word "god"). They can't tell me WHY any of these words are considered swear words, just that they are. So I try very hard not to say them.

 

The weird thing is, these kids call anyone who doesn't think or act they way they do "retarded". I find that incredibly offensive and have told them why and when my kids starting picking up that habit I talked to them and told them how I felt.

 

We do not allow words like "stupid, idiot" etc in our house, along with curse words. There's just no need for it. Anything that could be degrading to another person is not allowed. And if someone said "I had a f******* good time with you" I would be appalled and definitely not consider it a compliment. Leave that word out and I would still know that a good time was had.

 

As for body parts, we do not allow the "crass" words for body parts. The real words are just fine....and even slang words, just not crass ones. And using Gods name in vain is obvious....that's a definite no-no because the Bible specifically points that one out.

[clwcain]

And using Gods name in vain is obvious....that's a definite no-no because the Bible specifically points that one out.

 

Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine. I understand the injunction on using the Most Holy Name or the Sacred Tetragrammaton. But the total avoidance of the word "god", or it's partial redaction makes no sense to me. His name isn't "God". That's what He is. His Name is Unutterable.

 

If you really want to be a stickler about misuse of His Name, be careful about your use of the English phrase "I am...".

 

And, as an aside, crass and vulgar has its place. I feel sorry that some of you don't know the joys. ;)

[Scarlett]

Nonsense. They write the way the people they know talk. Playwrights and screenwriters use the word necessary to express the idea or emotion they wish to convey. There's no nefarious plot to desensitize "normal" people.

 

Entertainment is a reflection of our society. We all have to decide if we want to embrace or reject any number of cultural norms. Crass and vulgar language is one norm I will gladly continue to reject.

[Tutor]

I think that the reason you hear quite a bit in certain movies is because it is a medium in which a story must be told in a limited amount of time and the screenwriter/ director needs to get characterization and setting/background across quickly so that he can focus on the plot. Adding excessive cursing can be a quick, easy way to do this. Sometimes I think a screenwriter is taking the easy road when doing this rather than searching for another creative means to get characterization across, but there are other times when I think excessive cursing (along with other things) is the only way to get across the total depravity of the characters involved. Magnolia, for example, wouldn't be such a poignant tale of grace without the complete and utter sinfulness and depravity vomited out in the first 2/3 of the movie. (I think this film may set the record for the number of f words.)

[chaik76]

Do people really talk like this in real life? Other than teens and scummy kind of people, do normal adults actually use this much profanity?

 

I've never been around an adult who casually uses the F- word and such. I just searched a few movies just recommended on this forum on screenit, and was surprised by the language in them. It seems so unnecessary, and it got me wondering if I just don't hear this kind of language because most of our friends are Christians, or what?

 

Also -- I am not implying that non-christians would naturally use a lot of profanity. I was only mentioning that this may be why I don't hear it from people I know.

 

Do people REALLY talk like this? I don't mean the slip-up "sh*t" when one hurts himself, I mean normal conversation.

 

Example: Reign Over Me:

 

WARNING: ABBREVIATED LANGUAGE

 

 

At least 23 "f" words (1 used sexually, and 1 mouthed), 17 "s" words, 1 slang term using female genitals ("p**sy"), 3 for breasts ("t*ts"), 10 as_es (3 used with "hole"), 7 ****s, 4 hells, 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 3 uses of "G-****," 2 each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Jesus" and 1 use of "Swear to God."

Okay...not as much as you're mentioning here, but I did swear quite a bit until I had kids. I still don't really have a problem with swearing, but since I do have a problem with kids swearing before they know what they're saying, etc. I refrain from it in front of them...

[funschooler5]

I guess I'm one of the "scummy" people. :tongue_smilie:

 

DH and I both swear, as do just about all of our friends. We don't do it to offend anyone, I think it just comes from hanging around with people who talk the way you do. We do have friends in the hs community that absolutely do not swear, so we don't swear around them. It's pretty easy to turn it on and off.

 

A lot of the movies we watch have swear words in them. Some of them seem excessive and some don't. If a movie is about mobsters or something like that, I completely expect to hear a lot of swearing. It wouldn't be a convincing movie otherwise.

 

Our kids have heard us swear (no, we don't use every word on the list...some are too explicit for us) and I've heard them slip once or twice (I've heard one of them say a** a few times) but we try not to make a huge deal out of it. We've explained that a lot of people don't like certain words, so it's best not to say them. So far we haven't had a problem with them swearing.

 

I think it just depends on the family. For instance, some of our non-swearing friends let their kids do things that bother me more than swearing does (tattling, whining, bossing other kids around, etc). I keep my opinions to myself though. Well, except in one instance....we were at our house and one of ds's friends came up to me and told me ds said the word "crap". I told his friend that at our house saying crap isn't against the rules, but tattling about something non-essential was (non-essential at our house is someone getting hurt or property being damaged). He seemed completely confused by that.

 

I do think it's funny when people who hate swearing use fake words like freakin', dang it, heck, etc. Everyone knows what the real words are, so it's almost like you want to say it, but something close is good enough. If you want to swear, why not just do it? Seriously, next time you stub your toe, just say f***! The pain goes away a lot faster. :lol:

[emeraldjoy]

\

Okay, this is a pet peeve of mine. I understand the injunction on using the Most Holy Name or the Sacred Tetragrammaton. But the total avoidance of the word "god", or it's partial redaction makes no sense to me. His name isn't "God". That's what He is. His Name is Unutterable.

 

If you really want to be a stickler about misuse of His Name, be careful about your use of the English phrase "I am...".

 

And, as an aside, crass and vulgar has its place. I feel sorry that some of you don't know the joys. ;)

 

I understand the pet-peeve thing.....I personally find it very silly that 'thou shalt not say "oh my G-d" is lined up with murder and adultery in the bible. I mean, really think about this.

Using the Lords name in vain, how I interpret it, is using the name of Jesus or God in a way that misrepresents, underestimates, or speaks falsely of who or what they represent. I think using the Lord's name in vain happens on a much deeper level when someone who claims to be a Christian, thus representing the name of Jesus, is full of judgement, bitterness, pride, etc. It is frivolously throwing these names around without really representing what they mean. I think this grieves the Creator much more than saying, "oh my G-d" or even F*** does.

e

Edited October 7, 2008 by emeraldjoy
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[Melissa in CA]

Because the grandparents include profanity in their vocabulary?

 

I grew up in a home with plenty of cussing. My dad is a retired ironworker, and the off color jokes and language he engaged in on a job site followed him home. To this day, his language remains rather colorful. I don't recall my mother using much profanity when I was young, but she sure does these days.

 

Still, they are incredible people with exceptional character.

 

A cuss word only rarely excapes me, but I'm not offended when other folks swear. I still think they're normal. ;)

 

Yes, unfortunately. You see, my parents claim to be Christians, but their words and actions speak otherwise. There is something called the Fruit of the Spirit that should be in evidence, to some degree, in a true Christian. My parents are in their 70's and still no growth into Christlikeness...no evidence of Fruit...even though they have supposedly known the Lord for 40+ years. My boys see this discrepancy.

 

Like I said, they love them very much, but they have lost credibility (respect) as Christian grandparents. Make sense? Sorry, I can't seem to make logical sentences today. :blink:

[Nestof3]

You can be sincere and honest and still ask a loaded question.

 

But is someone says they swear often and excessively, you have already classified them as either a teen or a scummy kind of person.

 

To the best of my knowledge, very few teens post here.

 

 

No, actually, logically, I have not. Some who do use a lot of profanity have chosen to classify themselves as scummy people. I was operating under the assumption that we are not teenagers and not scummy people, which is why I asked the hive -- people I'm assuming are normal, everyday people.

 

If you have never met what I would consider scummy people, I'm glad for you. You can go on and on about people being judgmental and such if you'd like, but I think all adults have to have the ability to judge. I hope my children learn to judge character as well one day when they choose a spouse.

[emeraldjoy]

I was just glancing through this thread and was reminded of a very, very dear friend of mine who spent 11 years in prison. While in prison he truly found Jesus, truly...when he was released he was gung-ho about his new faith and was so excited to join a church and start his real life on the outside living righteously and all that.

 

Well, his language, after 11 years in prison, was quite colorful as you can imagine and he had a very, very hard time "cleaning it up" for the church folks who were expecting it. They too equated morality with profanity. He tried in vain to tame his tongue and this led to him trying in vain to fit in with the church he so desperatley wanted (and felt needed) to be a part of.

 

He tried the church thing for one year and within two years of his release he was back behind bars. He went back into the amphetamine (METH) world that accepted him and his language without judgement.

 

This, to me, is why some of the posts here are so tragic. Sure he may have been one those scummies discussed, but I think Jesus mourned his going back into drugs just as much as he would mourn any of us doing the same. His life is not less valuable, even if he couldn't quit saying the f-word.

 

More importantly, the judgment he received at the hands of the professed Christians was certainly part of the reason he failed in his new surroundings. Really, how important is cussing in a context such as this? I think that most people would lighten up about it some, if it meant that this dear person was able to stay clean and healthy. I think, anyway.

 

One, of the many reasons I have a hard time going to church.

Emerald

[Lovedtodeath]

My DH works in construction and a good friend does. Cursing is very common, but not by my DH. My boss who was a CEO also had a very fowl mouth. Every other sentence, and he used words I had never heard. Just depends on the person I think.

[Kate CA]

The occasional swear word is the norm in my family's socio-economic group, although my grandmother had to work very hard to give up the f-bomb when she became a Christian. :lol:

 

OK, this is such a funny visual! Grandma and the f-bomb. LOL

[LilyK]

Dawn,

I think the answer to your original question is yes in many (not all) circles. I discovered this in the workplace. I work with over a hundred people, and I almost NEVER hear profanity on the floor. Those few who do indulge, usually have a fast turnover. However, the break room is another story. Most people are smart enough to know that profanity is just not tolerated in certain situations and comply accordingly, but I have found that many people are two-tongued. I, like you, feel uneasy around profuse swearing. Tragically, in my case, I hear it used against people who are very sick and helpless. If it comforts you at all, know that dh and I try our best to use the same language at home, at work, and in the break room. We encourage our kids to do the same.

[mazakaal]

I had pretty bad language when I was in high school/college, before I was a Christian, to try to overcome the goody-two-shoes image that I had. After I became a Christian my language cleaned up considerably because I didn't feel that language was appropriate (unwholesome speech and all that). In the Christian circles that I run in people rarely uses curse words, but in my extended family, the language can be pretty vulgar. I was at a family reunion last year and couldn't believe how bad my brother's language had gotten. Others were pretty free with their speech, too. I'm not too phased by it, I guess because of my own background, but I'm surprised that they don't tone it down around kids.

[Nestof3]

Profanity is kind of a meaningless filler in my mind.

 

I hear what you are saying, but we actually try to refrain from any hurtful or meaningless words, but it's very hard. I honestly don't think it's as hard as what was described in an earlier anecdote about a reformed prison mate -- meaning most people can refrain from any behavior when they have the right motivation. Have you ever been cranky and ranting about something and then the phone rings? Do you answer it in the same tone of voice or do you sweeten it up. I cursed like crazy growing up and stopped (with an occasional expletive when angry early on in marriage) in my 20's.

 

But, to get to your quote. Sunday, my husband, the young boys and I went for a bike ride on a bike trail. Near the beginning of the trail, these giddy teenagers were hovering in one spot, and one yelled out in a "I'm seeking attention sort of way" "F**K." The person was looking right at us when she screamed it, then she giggled, said "Oh -- sorry" and then they all giggled. Well, then my 8 year old wanted to know what that meant. So, it's not really meaningless to innocent minds.

Edited October 7, 2008 by nestof3

[Scarlett]

Well, his language, after 11 years in prison, was quite colorful as you can imagine and he had a very, very hard time "cleaning it up" for the church folks who were expecting it. They too equated morality with profanity. He tried in vain to tame his tongue and this led to him trying in vain to fit in with the church he so desperatley wanted (and felt needed) to be a part of.

 

He tried the church thing for one year and within two years of his release he was back behind bars. He went back into the amphetamine (METH) world that accepted him and his language without judgement.

 

Although I am sorry for your friend going back to drugs and jail, I think it is a huge leap to say he might not have done so had mainstream society accepted him the way he was---foul mouth and all.

 

As mentioned here, many people who once had horrible mouths have cleaned it up for various reasons. Or even some who currently see nothing wrong with that sort of language manage to reign it in when circumstances dictate they do.

 

Addiction leads to very sad outcomes.

[Scarlett]

Profanity is rather meaningless. If I had a spat with my husband (which oddly we never fight) and he blurted out a profanity at me (we don't really swear around here) what would it mean? Think about it. If someone calls you an effing A, what exactly is an effing A?

 

Profanity is kind of a meaningless filler in my mind. If every other word is a swear word, it kind of makes me think the person has nothing much to say. Other than that, I really don't give it much thought.

 

If profanity is meaningless---wouldn't all words be meaningless?

 

If everymorning my dh says to me 'F you', and every evening he says, 'I love you.'...am I to believe he means one thing but not the other?

 

Words can hurt and words can heal.

[Scarlett]

Well at that point apparently this person wanted attention, as you said, and thought they might get a reaction. But really, what if they had yelled out "broccoli!"? They still would have gotten attention.

 

Yes. And no one would have been offended. The 8 year old knows what broccoli is...mom wouldn't have to attempt to explain a vulgar word to her child.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Well, then my 8 year old wanted to know what that meant. So, it's not really meaningless to innocent minds.

 

At some point, every kid is going to hear that word and want to know what it means. I just asked dd7 how many of her friends (mostly kids 8-10) she thinks know that word and she said probably all of them, but they know not to use it. I asked her how much they probably understand about the meaning of the word, and she said not much, the younger ones mostly just know the sperm and egg stuff. Just because a kid knows a word or knows what it means doesn't mean they are going to use it or want to participate in the action it represents. I think the parent taking a matter of fact, unshocked and unphased attitude can go a long way to kids now making a big deal about swearing.

[Scarlett]

Exactly. I tell my kids it is one thing to swear about something in the privacy of one's own home, and another to swear at someone.

 

Seems to me it would make more sense to just not start the bad habit in the first place.

[Lovedtodeath]

Originally Posted by nestof3

I hear what you are saying, but we actually try to refrain from any hurtful or meaningless words, but it's very hard. I honestly don't think it's as hard as what was described in an earlier anecdote about a reformed prison mate -- meaning most people can refrain from any behavior when they have the right motivation. Have you ever been cranky and ranting about something and then the phone rings? Do you answer it in the same tone of voice or do you sweeten it up. I cursed like crazy growing up and stopped in my 20's.

 

 

It really depends on the person. When I am struggling with PPD, PMS and/or depression, I find it extremely difficult if not impossible to reign in my tongue, and then I feel terrible about it afterwards. I definitely do not find it acceptable.

[Melissa in CA]

 

More importantly, the judgment he received at the hands of the professed Christians was certainly part of the reason he failed in his new surroundings. Really, how important is cussing in a context such as this? I think that most people would lighten up about it some, if it meant that this dear person was able to stay clean and healthy. I think, anyway.

 

One, of the many reasons I have a hard time going to church.

Emerald

 

I would beware of lumping all Christians in with his experience. If he had come to our church he would have been loved and cared for...not judged.

 

Just because I do not respect my parents "Christianity" claims, nor have a lot of respect for those with unnecessarily vulgar mouths, does not mean I don't treat them with just as much love and kindness as I do my Christian friends. I am the same person with everyone. If you could ask my non-Christian friends I am sure they would tell you the same. No, I do not join in with them while they are being vulgar, but I also don't sit there acting all prissy and too good for them. Ack! You see, I know that without the Lords help I, too, would have a foul mouth...I was sure brought up with one!

 

Personally, I think if your friend had really come to Christ, he would have persevered somehow. He could have tried a different church, etc. Many people profess to be Christians but they really are not. Saying a prayer is not a magical potion that makes someone a legitimate Christ-follower. I am NOT saying this was the case with him, just that there are many, many, many people in American who claim to be Christian but, in actuality and practice, are not. My parents are a prime example. Haven't been to a church in 25+ years but think they are legitimate Christ-followers. :001_huh:

 

My brother is (was) a druggie. He's been in and out of jail, in different camps, wanted by the police for selling, etc. I know druggies. Trust me. And the one thing they are VERY good at is passing blame. If they can find some reason to run back to drugs when they are feeling weak...they will...and they will always blame someone or something for their actions. My brother "got saved" in a Christian prison camp and had nothing but support when he was released but he, too, went back to drugs. Thankfully he finally got clean, but his life is a mess: He is 48, divorced, kids in another state, can only get a job at Walmart, living with his girlfriend, will never be able to afford a home, etc. Does not live like, act like, or have a desire to be...a Christian. Basically, he did not truly get "saved." He just tried Christianity on for awhile. I guess it didn't fit. :lol:

 

All that to say...don't blame Christians. We are human, and make mistakes, but saying we are somehow responsible for causing someone to go back in to drugs is a huge misplacement of blame.

 

My opinion of course.

[Mekanamom]

I generally do not swear. There are a few people who I think can swear skillfully, but I'm not one of 'em.

 

However! Be far far away when I am trimming hooves. That is a hard job. I have found that I can let off some steam with terrible language yet not lose my patience with a horse. I've seen professional farriers totally lose it and smack their horses with the rasp, etc. I'd rather murmur a constant stream of profanity and not resort to violence. ;) I only trim my own horses, so I'm not exposing anyone else to my anti-violence tactics. My horses don't seem to mind too much. :tongue_smilie:

 

As for kids and swearing. My kids don't use the "bad" words, but they do substitute words to use in the appropriate place. Such as "Oh, snap!" We have talked about profanity and why it's inappropriate to use some words. It's generally just a matter of respect for the people around you.

[mo2]

Well, if you've never met anyone who freely uses the f word, I'm surprised. I swear. Some might even say I swear a lot. But my in-laws take the prize.

 

If I remember right, Reign Over Me was a pretty emotionally charged movie. Perhaps that's why there was so much swearing. People swear more when they're upset. I'm not all that impressed by your list, but I AM impressed that you took the time to count the swear words in a movie.

 

In our house, a word is just a word. You give the word power by getting upset when you hear it.

Edited October 7, 2008 by mo2

[emeraldjoy]

I'm sorry if you misread, but I did not blame all Christians. I was specifically talking about that church and using it as an example.

 

Going to church does not equate faith. Jesus did not even attend a church. Please be careful about making such statements. Church really isn't for everyone. I don't go to church and I love Jesus, ALOT! So much that I cannot align myself up with people that I feel don't represent him correctly. Just my opinion.

 

It also grieves me to think that you were alluded to the fact that this man wan't "really" a Christian. Those are some pretty harsh words......

 

e

[Melissa in CA]

I'm sorry if you misread, but I did not blame all Christians. I was specifically talking about that church and using it as an example.

 

Going to church does not equate faith. Jesus did not even attend a church. Please be careful about making such statements. Church really isn't for everyone. I don't go to church and I love Jesus, ALOT! So much that I cannot align myself up with people that I feel don't represent him correctly. Just my opinion.

 

It also grieves me to think that you were alluded to the fact that this man wan't "really" a Christian. Those are some pretty harsh words......

 

e

 

{sigh} I am not saying to be a Christian you must go to church. There were about two years when my dh and I were between churches and we were still very much Christian in our walk. But the bible also says to not forsake the gathering (being with other believers) and there is a reason for that. My parents stopped going to church and I posted in the Dark Side social group what they NOW believe and that was just a small portion of heretical beliefs they adhere too. It's been a gradual 25 year sink into heresy and it all started with their 'forsaking the gathering.'

 

I also did NOT say your friend was not saved. In fact I specifically said that I was NOT saying that. I have no idea how he truly believes.:confused: My point was to say that not all people who claim to be believers really are believers, ya know? Many try Christianity on as a fix-all...and when it doesn't fix their life...they drop it. That is not a true Christ-follower. Is that what your friend did? I have no clue and you know that. ;) I just know that it is what my brother did, so I wanted to share the possibility that perhaps that is why your friend went back to his old lifestyle. It is a possibility, right? Neither of us know for sure, I think.

 

Anyhow, 'nuff said...we are way off topic! :D

 

[by the way...of course Jesus didn't attend a church, the New Testament church under the New Covenant was not established yet. He did teach in the Synagogue a time or two though, does that count? :lol:]

[Nestof3]

First, I want to apologize for using the word scummy. A fellow believer on this board called me out on forgetting that Christ died for the sinful, and I would have to agree. It showed a lack of love. This is the email I sent to her:

 

Thank you, _______, for reminding me of this truth. You are right that the word choice was not a good one. I hastily grabbed what I considered the far-out extreme, chose a word and went with it without considering the consequences and the implications of that.

 

I actually was expecting to find that most people do not use profanity like in the movies, thus wondering why movies use it so much. That was really my only thought -- wondering why movies are so laden with it when most people just don't talk like that. Even non-believing family members and friends don't talk like that in my world.

 

Thanks for your email!

 

Also, Mo2 -- I didn't count the profanity occurrences, they are specifically listed on www.screenit.com.

[Lovedtodeath]

Just for the record... I will not watch a movie like that. It gets turned off within 4 or so minutes. I don't need those words bombarding my brain that much.

[mo2]

Also, Mo2 -- I didn't count the profanity occurrences, they are specifically listed on www.screenit.com.

 

 

I had no idea there was a website that listed such things. (Although I shouldn't be. There's a website for just about everything.)

[Jenny in Florida]

I don't. My children don't. My husband doesn't. And I don't particularly enjoy hanging out with people who do. But, yes, it is considered normal in many circles.

 

This is one of the many, many reasons I find myself avoiding going out into the world as much as I used to, actually. It's also why I don't watch many contemporary films or even TV shows. I always come home feeling like I need to shower after I spend too much time around this sort of thing.

 

Now please understand, I was raised on the idea that a word is just a word. And I do believe that. I don't think swearing is evil or morally wrong, just icky. And I have taught my children that swearing in public or around anyone whose views on the subject you don't know for absolutely sure is simply rude.

 

Honestly, it feels like an assualt on my ears, and I'm tired of having it forced on me.

 

So, as I said, I stay home a lot.

 

Edited to add: Oh, and given the religious slant this discussion has taken, I should probably mention that we are not Christian.

Edited October 9, 2008 by Jenny in Florida

[Lovedtodeath]

I read an article to DD about why we should avoid profanity. She will copy me and use the worst euphanisms. I needed the pointers too. One that I remember is that it damages your own reputation when you use this language.

[Elaine]

 

A cuss word only rarely excapes me, but I'm not offended when other folks swear. I still think they're normal. ;)

 

My parents rarely cursed and so we didn't either. I don't get offended when people curse. And I have been known to let one or two fly myself.

 

 

Rabbit trail-

Kids cursing bothers me a bit but only when my kids are in earshot. We frequent skateparks quite a bit and find a lot of cursing there. My four and a half year old picked up S.O.B. from a boy at the skate park and has said it in church. Why do they choose church to take these words out for a spin?:D

 

What I have done in the past is to go to the boy using the language and say something along the lines of, "Hey. I know I am going to sound like a mom here but, I have a little guy who really listens to how you big guys talk. I would really appreciate it if you would help me out by limiting some of the profanity. Is that possible?" I then flash my most winning smile. I have never had anyone refuse me and they always apologize to me. I, of course, tell them no problem and thank them for being such a great example.

 

I would never think someone is "scummy" because they used profanity.

[Parrothead]

I don't mind it much in a "proper' setting. There are some things you don't do in front of kids and little old ladies. Swearing and checking if the cajones are still there isn't appropriate in some company.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I don't mind it much in a "proper' setting. There are some things you don't do in front of kids and little old ladies. Swearing and checking if the cajones are still there isn't appropriate in some company.

Okay, now I have two things to work on! J/K :D