Anyone with babies that were horrible sleepers? Night terrors, etc?

[madteaparty]

I'm asking for my sister; my kids are so different than hers sleep wise that I don't even know what to say. We mostly coslept.

Her little boy (just turned one) hates cosleeping, always did, his room is very near his parents. He wakes and screams bloody murder every night for an hour at a time, 2-3 times...it's like he doesn't even want held and snuggled, he arches his back etc. I've also experienced this one time when we watched them so the parents could go into a hotel to sleep... He just turned one and it is getting worse, far worse. He has no health issues and is pretty easy going during the day. He still nurses a little.

Her eldest had horrible night terrors and it seems this one is headed that way. Any resources to read or explore? I don't know how to help her. They both work full time and are at wits end :(

[Spryte]

Yes. Terrible sleeper here. Your words - arching his back - that resonates. That's pain. I would consider reflux. I know you said he's healthy, but it could be happening at night because he's lying down. An obvious idea would be to elevate the head of his mattress. But with an extreme like that, I would probably go to the pedi. Then possibly the ped GI.

 

So sorry! It's hard!

[Paige]

My DS had night terrors at that age. He was completely out of his mind and not responsive to any kind of soothing until he woke up. She probably has experience if her oldest had night terrors too, but the best thing to do is make sure they are safe and ignore it. Don't touch or interact with them while they are in the middle of it because it will only make it escalate and last longer. DS would thrash and scream for hours if we tried to help him, but maybe only 20min if we left him alone. 

 

Or....it was unrelated to our leaving him alone and he was simply growing out of it by the time we stopped trying to calm him down... I don't know.

 

It also helped to put him to bed much earlier than we had been used to. DS was a horrible sleeper all his life, however, so I know that's easier said than done. 

[zoobie]

I'd also consider reflux and food intolerances, particularly dairy.

[zoobie]

Also in relation to reflux, Sandifer's Syndrome: http://www.infantreflux.org/forums/topic/the-video-that-diagnosed-my-son/

[madteaparty]

My DS had night terrors at that age. He was completely out of his mind and not responsive to any kind of soothing until he woke up. She probably has experience if her oldest had night terrors too, but the best thing to do is make sure they are safe and ignore it. Don't touch or interact with them while they are in the middle of it because it will only make it escalate and last longer. DS would thrash and scream for hours if we tried to help him, but maybe only 20min if we left him alone.

 

Or....it was unrelated to our leaving him alone and he was simply growing out of it by the time we stopped trying to calm him down... I don't know.

 

It also helped to put him to bed much earlier than we had been used to. DS was a horrible sleeper all his life, however, so I know that's easier said than done.

That's how her eldest was...nothing could soothe her. But she outgrew it. The little boy is really young though, could night terrors start this early? (13 months old)

[redsquirrel]

My older boy did this, but he was older. It started slowly at about 18 months and increased in frequency as he got older. It peaked around 3.5-4 and then tapered off.

 

It was horrible, absolutely horrible. I can honestly say it was one of the worst experience I have had as a parent...and this is a kid who was a preemie and spend weeks in a NICU.  The stress from the screaming was worse than the stress from the NICU.  He would scream non-stop and be unresponsive no matter what we did. It could last for 90 mins. I remember a neighbor mentioning to me that she though a child was being beaten or something because she heard screaming and it woke her up.  I should add that we had our windows closed and she lives across the street. I had to tell her it was my kid. She had four of her own and was very kind about it.  But she almost called the cops!

 

My niece did the same thing, but for a much briefer time.  What they have in common is that they are both petite and very slender.  Well, my son is 16 and is a dancer, so he is more muscular than skinny, but he was a teensy tiny kid.  He didn't weigh 20lbs until he was about 18 months.

 

We found these bouts of hysterical screaming tended to come in clusters. If it happened, we knew we were in for a rough week. Then it might not happen for a week or so. 

 

He would often wake in the night, without screaming, and ask to eat. This was, of course, very frustrating. He was a light eater and we would beg him to eat a substantial dinner, but no matter how much we fed him, he woke up 6-7 hours later (around 1am) yelling for food.  He would eat a PB&J sandwich and a glass of milk and fall back to sleep.  I have often wondered if the screaming bouts weren't linked to low blood sugar or something like that. I think the hunger was due to his being very small and not having big reserves, plus he obviously has a high metabolism. So, as much as we hated it, we would feed him to get him to go back to sleep.  Looking back, that was a silly thing to hate, kwim? Just feed the kid and get back to sleep. Our lives would have been easier if we just dealt with it instead of trying to convince a three year old he wasn't hungry, lol.

 

Sometimes, we could cut off the screaming bouts by offering food. But usually he was just not responsive.  I talked to our doctor about it and we never got a satisfactory answer. In those days there were no phones with cameras, or I would have made a video of it. I think because no doctor saw these fits we didn't get taken seriously. They just thought it was a kid waking up and crying.  But a kid screaming so loudly that it makes your ear drums rattle, and doing this for an hour or two, is not typical crying.

 

It just sort of stopped. He's a perfectly nice kid now. Typical teenage boy, sleeps well and always wants to sleep more, lol. Has no learning problems or any sort of developmental challenges.

 

But that was horrible. I don't even have words for how stressful it was. 

[J-rap]

My ds was always a restless sleeper, waking up and crying often, and spitting up a TON as a baby.  He had really restless nights til he was about 4.  After that, he was still an extremely light sleeper, and would get stomach aches a lot (through high school).

 

He is in his 20's now and what we have learned is:

 

Carbs and dairy and bother him if he has too much.  He is sensitive to a few other foods too.  He does best on a paleo-type diet.  (lots of veggies and protein)  When he sticks to that diet, he rarely gets the stomach pains.  Also, he just seems to be an extremely sensitive guy.  Smells, sounds, etc.  He's just aware of all those little things.  When I think of this now, it makes sense that at least some of this was the cause of his restless, difficult nights as a baby/young child.

 

Not sure if that helps or not.

[73349]

Baby, singular. Because sleep deprivation was at a level we did not wish to repeat. I agree with previous suggestions.

• Ask pediatrician to evaluate for reflux.
• Eliminate any artificial foods.
• Consider drastic diet change to remove all common allergens for a few weeks (dairy, corn, wheat and eggs are top suspects).
• Spend half an hour to several hours outside every day, rain or shine or snow or anything not actually dangerous, during daylight hours. Making the kid walk is better than using a stroller.
• Bedtime routine begins right after dinner and as early as possible, 7 nights a week--he might need to go to bed at 6:30 or so. Observe what time he's voluntarily up for the day, and avoid waking him unless he's sleeping past 8:30, if possible.
• Offer a naptime at a consistent time, 7 days a week.

Edited May 4, 2016 by whitehawk

[Pawz4me]

Youngest DS didn't sleep through a single night until he was five years old.

 

It's a good thing he was the youngest or there would have only been one. ;)

 

He did spit up some, so I feel sure reflux may have played some part.  But I think that overwhelmingly his sleep problems were due to sensory issues.

[Catalytic]

Youngest DS didn't sleep through a single night until he was five years old.

 

It's a good thing he was the youngest or there would have only been one. ;)

 

 

:lol:

[Amber in SJ]

I had two with night terrors and I can honestly say it was one of the most stressful things I have had to deal with as a parent.  After ruling out physical problems our pediatrician told us that some doctors believe that night terrors occur when a child is in a stage of cognitive growth.  Growing pains in the brain, he called it.  The brain's ability to regulate sleep cycles was disturbed and so instead of moving in & out of REM sleep the brain was getting stuck & unable to pull itself out.  There was no real answer for what to do, but I felt reassured that once the brain had adjusted to the new acquisition of cognitive skills the sleep cycles would work themselves out.  During an episode our kids could not be nursed (if he/she was still nursing) held, touched, sang to, or any of the usual soothing tactics.  Both of my kids that experienced this grew out of it eventually.  Neither of my kids would remember anything the next day.

 

A friend of mine used to dump her son in a cold shower when the screaming started.

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

[Tess in the Burbs]

my son did that.  The arching of the back is pain.  In my son's case he had food allergies.  Nursing wasn't helpful since I was eating the food!  I pushed for testing and found he had multiple food allergies.  It was much better when I was able to stop eating the foods that bothered him.  He never really learned to nap longer than 45 min at a time, but his night sleep did get better when he wasn't having pain.  

[ktgrok]

Evaluate for reflux first. Or do a trial of meds. If that isn't it, and it is terrors or confusional arousals (similar) I go against all advice and try to wake them up. I found if I could get her truly awake she was fine, otherwise she would do it all night long. She also slept better on the couch than her bed, which was fine with me. 

 

To get her awake I'd often have her drink ice water, that seemed to help. 

[Farrar]

My boys were. They were horrible sleepers. We investigated a number of potential medical causes - reflux, apnea, allergies... but to no avail. Finally they did start to sleep around age 3, though they did have night terrors after, especially one of them.

 

I don't know... I wish I had some great wisdom about this that I gained, but nothing solved it. It was just something we had to endure. It makes you feel like crap holding down your toddlers in the bed for hours while they scream or letting them be alone in a room screaming (six of one, half dozen the other), but what are you gonna do? We did the medical stuff the ped suggested. We could have gotten way more into homeopathy and diet but... I'm not convinced that going further down the diet path would have been worth the effort. I mean, we'd probably have spent two years tweaking it and then they would have slept, but... hey, they started sleeping at age 3 anyway and without spending a fortune on gf flours and weird specialty foods and nutritionist appointments and the mental anguish of denying ourselves a million different foods.

[mommyto4]

My son started night terrors before 18months (I don't remember exactly when).  Absolutely awful.  He would scream for an hour or more once or twice a night.  They finally lessened by 3.5 years old and now, at 9, he has them rarely and not nearly as long.

 

Professionals told us it was okay to leave him alone, as trying to soothe him did not help at all.  It was very hard on my marriage.

 

I don't have any answers -- sorry.

[Shellydon]

None of mine slept through the night until they were 2.  I didn't sleep for a decade.  Awful.  At age 1, all of my kids were on chewable Pepcid.  It helped some.

 

I have heard 3 different parents say that for night terrors, playing Handel's Water Music all night long in their child's room worked.

[madteaparty]

Thanks so much everyone. I will give her some of these investigating tips.

It's just they are both working parents with two other kids. I know about not sleeping babies, mine woke frequently but could be comforted...this little one seems beyond comfort :(

[AK_Mom4]

Sorry- this is terrible.

 

My bad sleeper was reflux. He is 20 now and still suffers at night (no screaming though!). Elevate head of bed, maybe an anti reflux med, no dairy at night. Also, it helps if he eats lightly before bed. Usually crackers with peanut butter will work magic. That didn't help when he was a baby, but made things better when he got old enough to chew.

[kbutton]

It definitely sounds like pain. In addition to reflux and allergies, consider gas--could be an intolerance, not an allergy that causes abdominal bloating and gas. Lactose intolerance can cause terribly painful gas. It's also a symptom of celiac disease. If you've never had painful gas, it's real. I've been through natural childbirth twice, and I've had gas that was as bad as 95% of my childbirth pains (excepting the transition phase of labor)--at least in childbirth, the pain comes and goes. Eliminating gluten has helped tremendously, but I suffered all my life with terrible gas--it can be so bad you think you've got a broken rib, and you can have shooting pains in your chest. Sometimes you'll be fine asleep, and as soon as you change positions, the pain starts, and you can't get comfortable again.

 

If it is gas, mylecon drops sometimes help. Monitoring dairy or gas-causing foods before bed can help, but everyone's gut has a different timetable on when it hits. 

[Ausmumof3]

I thought my ds had night terrors when he was young and maybe he did but when he was older and woke up like this he was able to communicate that he was having painful leg cramps. He did used to really thrash his legs as a toddler at night so I wonder if it was the same. A hot wheat pack or hot water bottle (warm not just really) on the calves may help.

[BooksandBoys]

I'll chime in too. My second was a horrible sleeper, arching back, screaming every waking moment (yes, arching his back is pain) night terrors, you name it. Until he was 9 months old, he woke every 60-90 minutes to scream for at least an hour. Noting I did helped. He had food allergies/intolerances that were causing reflux, leg cramps, stomach pain, and constipation. Before I identified the food allergies, he was treated for reflux and constipation with meds with minimal improvement. Not all food intolerances can be identified with skin/blood tests (his SEVERE dairy reaction doesn't show up), so I always recommend that parents try an elimination diet. My son can't eat dairy, gluten, legumes (including peanuts,!green beans, and peas), and he reacts to artificial food coloring (red and yellow, we think blue is ok). He also does better with a daily dose of Magnesium Calm to relax his muscles. The amazing thing is, this is the child who fights me on EVERYTHING. For example, he loves to swim. If he wants to go swimming and I ask him to go get his swimming suit, he will refuse and ultimately sacrifice swimming just so he doesn't have to obey. This kid has NEVER ONCE argued with me about his food restrictions, even though there are so many. He remembers the pain. He remembers the couple of times he's been exposed accidentally. By 3.5 years old, he was asking about ingredients and actively avoiding the foods that he knows makes him sick.