pinkmint Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I need help with my just-turned 7 year old. I feel like he needs more things to do with his time, good and positive things to keep him busy. Not for the sake of busy-ness but to keep him occupied in a good way and to give him less time to think of not-good ways to spend his time like bullying his little sister for fun etc. It seems like he's in between life as a little boy and big boy. He is homeschooled, so we are home a lot. I would love to have him involved with at least one sport/ lesson etc but it's not realistic for us financially. Thankfully (and this is an update for anyone who remembers/ cares) we were able to buy a set of real curriculum after hubby worked a grueling stretch of overtime with the resulting extra $, so that has been very good. 7 year old responds well to the curriculum each day during school time but we still have hours in the day besides that. I do have him watching Hoffman Academy piano lessons (free online) with his Casio keyboard, so that's 1/2 - 1 hour a day. Still need more for him to do. He says he isn't into legos right now, which he used to be into. What kind of chores, activities, tasks, anything can I give him? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Trampoline. My son (8) needs serious energy burning outdoor play. It totally transforms his attitude and behavior. So whatever you choose it would probably do him good to have some hard physical stuff in there. If I dont provide this (our trampoline blew away in a storm and we went 9 months without one. I bought one on Thanksgiving Day and my other kids said it was like a present for the whole family. ) he is a REAL PAIN IN THE NECK. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Boys and puppies. Both are better when they are tired out. First off, if you don't already, I would strongly encourage you to institute quiet time at your house (what you called "nap time" when he was a toddler). He doesn't have to sleep. But he does have to be in his room and reading or playing quietly by himself. This gives you BOTH a rest, emotionally, from each other. It also seems to hit the "reset" button on behavior. Second, he should already be keeping his room reasonably clean (my definition is: bedding is on the bed, floor is clear, things get dusted occasionally). He's also a really great age for light yard work: pick up sticks, raking, pulling weeds, shoveling mulch, sweeping the porch/steps, scrubbing the lawn furniture/ outer door/ porch railings (whatever needs it and doesn't require chemicals). If you have a wood or pellet stove, make it his job to go out and bring in wood/pellets for the day. Do you have pets? At his age he can do most pet related jobs (maybe not walking the dog, if the dog is large). But he can brush, clean crates/cat boxes, feed/water, etc. Does he have a daily exercise time? He needs at least 2 (ideally more) 30 minute sessions of exercise. This can be whatever you want, and you can vary it, but he needs it like he needs air. He's old enough to do almost any housework that doesn't involve chemicals. He's also old enough to start learning small maintenance jobs (changing light bulbs, tightening leaky faucets, changing furnace/ac filters, vacuuming vents, etc). As you go through your day, just ask yourself: can ds be doing this? I've also found that not allowing too much free time means that tend to take a little more care not to lose the free time they have (by bullying their sister, say). 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrookValley. Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I agree that physical activity helps--at least, for us it does. One of the best things for my kids is the huge hole they've dug in the back yard. I had to limit it a little bit when eldest started measuring its depth with youngest, but otherwise, just letting them dig is a great energy burn and attitude adjuster. Eldest also likes to skate, ride his bike, build obstacle courses around the yard...you name it. If outside time is getting limited due to weather, do stuff inside. We have a large punching bag inside to get rid of excess energy when we can't be outside. I really want to get one of those mini-trampolines (the 36" round ones with the handle) for inside, but I don't think we have room for it. :( I think that would be great, though. My kids also love to do workout videos with me. I use Fitness Blender (online; all free) a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 Good point about wearing him out with daily exercise. I will have to try to figure that out. We live in a rental with a tiny backyard space, so no giant trampolines or digging holes, or even riding bikes since our neighborhood is sketchy. I want to come up with something though. DS does seem to have a surplus of energy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 (edited) Everything they said. A tired boy is a good boy! At that age, it even made our ds happy, once he began, to go out on the front porch and scrub it with a bucket of soapy water and a brush! I found that the chore list went over better with him when it came from a posted list, not directly from me. Vacuuming, scrubbing, clearing out and organizing the leftover container cabinet, etc, he flourished with all this daily work. As for daily quiet time...it is essential to have time for everyone to be alone! Teach him to use an iPod/CD player/tape player independently and stock up on classic children's novels (lists everywhere, but I like IEW's list, found when you google "IEW boys books"). Many are on librivox. We liked Little House series (early ones good for boys), Chronicles of Narnia, Little Lord Fauntleroy, The Cay, E. Nesbit books especially. For that time, had blank books and (good quality) colored pencils on hand in order for his budding imagination to have an expression. Finally, for the quiet time, I had no success before he began listening to something, and a treat, like a popsicle afterwards, made him stick to the required time of quiet. Edited January 18, 2016 by secretgarden 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I didn't even know what Librivox was. You all are a good resource. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 If he's not involved in a regular sport and doesn't get regular physical activity, I'd be pretty concerned, honestly. I mean, no wonder he's using his energy for negative stuff! You're absolutely right - he needs more outlets. There are lots of potential good outlets in terms of art and crafting and games, but without the physical piece, I suspect any suggestions are going to be of limited use. I think you just have to commit to get outside every single day and make sure he's doing something. I read that money is tight, but go to a playground, go to an open field with a ball, go to a creek, just get out there and do. I read that money is tight - do you have a car? We previously lived in a sketchy neighborhood (the neighborhood changed though, we didn't move). My general philosophy on this is that you just have to go outside anyway. You suffer a lot more if you don't. And really, the neighborhood suffers too. I would look into an afterschool rec sport for him as well and see what you can find. Again, I get that money is tight, but ask around and talk to the individual organizations. I know that group that we used to play soccer with took kids for free sometimes. You have a real need to find a way to get him moving. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Familia Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think you just have to commit to get outside every single day and make sure he's doing something. I read that money is tight, but go to a playground, go to an open field with a ball, go to a creek, just get out there and do. I read that money is tight - do you have a car? We previously lived in a sketchy neighborhood (the neighborhood changed though, we didn't move). My general philosophy on this is that you just have to go outside anyway. You suffer a lot more if you don't. And really, the neighborhood suffers too. Great suggestion to go to a playground, even daily if you don't have a yard. For just a few dollars, the nerf over-the-door basketball hoop saved my life with our 6 yo boy when we had a short stay in an apartment! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Agree with Farrar. We have played around with heavy work just giving out jobs or chores that are near the limits of their strength like moving heavy laundry baskets. Also we play simon says with push ups, squats, jumping jacks etc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I second the need to get him into very rigorous physical activities. My DS needs strenuous exercise of over 1 hour in an organized sport (with a coach) in addition to his normal play schedule (which involves physical play, running, soccer etc) in order for him to behave normally and to fall asleep at night. There are plenty of options for exercise - get the whole family to your local park and kick a ball around or let them climb a play structure, your local YMCA might have sports programs (ours even says that they have financial aid based on need on their brochure), your city's park and recreation department will provide all kinds of classes for a cheap rate (again ask for financial aid if you think that you are eligible for it). Another option is to get him a skateboard, rollerblade or a used bike and take it to a place where he can ride around (involve your other kids if you can). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 I think we may be on to something with the lack of adequate exercise/ physical exertion. I am going to make figuring that out more of a priority. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 If the mall is close to you, call and ask the hours for walking. It is a great way to get out and walk when the weather is nasty and if you do the walking hours, the stores are closed. YouTube has some nice exercise videos that you can do as a family. If you belong to any groups for homeschoolers- just post on a nice day that you are going to whatever park and if any one wants to join you they can. We have joined up with some nice families that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Suggestions for indoor exercise: Bazoongi Bouncer trampoline Curving balance beam Gonge Riverstones, Hilltops, and Seesaw Non-motorized elliptical Hop ball 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Ok, here's a totally free thing that you could try (he'll either love it, or think it's totally dumb): Tae-bo videos are free on Youtube. If that doesn't cool him out, nothing will. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 If possible, try taking daily walks with the kids. Start off with half a mile and increase a bit each week. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopmom Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Mini trampoline:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Pogo stick. Stilts. Basketball with hoop. Trampoline but it's expensive! We don't even have one. Soccer net and soccer ball. A swing hung from a tree. Lots and lots of lego. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Do you have 20 mins in the early am when you could go for a jog with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 There's a big church near here that has a community gym with free activities and sports leagues. If that's not an option, the YMCA or YWCA near you has free and reduced price memberships on sliding scales for those who need financial assistance. If your DH works for a big company they might cover the difference. It's amazing how swimming lessons and basketball can wear even a little kid out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakelly Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 My just turned 8 year old sounds similar to your son. He probably spends 60% of his awake hours outside, riding his bike, playing at the playground, trampoline etx... Can you get up early and go for a walk/bike ride before you start in on school? It makes a huge difference in our day, when he can run around before we start. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 We've found our city parks & rec department offers a lot of low-cost classes. Even if your town doesn't offer much, check nearby towns--some will let non-residents join for an extra dollar or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 We've found our city parks & rec department offers a lot of low-cost classes. Even if your town doesn't offer much, check nearby towns--some will let non-residents join for an extra dollar or something. This is such a bummer for me. Where I used to live they had tons of these classes. Now here? None. Not one single class. And neighboring towns don't allow non residents. It stinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 Thanks, ladies. DH leaves very early. DS is never awake before DH leaves for work and I can't leave the little ones alone obviously, but it does sound like a good idea to run/ jog early in the am with him. I'm still thinking about how to deal with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I'll add to the others. Children need outside time, especially boys. When we have lived in large urban cities, I knew that at least one hour of my day was going to be spent outdoors. If weather was so bad we couldn't go outside, I found an indoor space for my kids to run around in. They need the physical outlet for their energy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Thanks, ladies. DH leaves very early. DS is never awake before DH leaves for work and I can't leave the little ones alone obviously, but it does sound like a good idea to run/ jog early in the am with him. I'm still thinking about how to deal with this. I have a just turned 8 year old who has tons of energy. While he can burn energy inside, it seems more effective outside. Go for daily walks, your son can walk or ride a bike. If your neighborhood isn't safe for that, drive to a park or safer neighborhood. When it gets colder outside, bundle up and don't stay outside as long. Find a place he can climb (jungle gym or tree). Get to know your local parks for walking paths or hiking. You walk, pushing a stroller or pulling a wagon with the younger kids let your oldest ride his bike. Jumping rope could be done in the backyard too. Get a rope like the ones you used in gym class as a kid if you can, they work better than the rope ones from the dollar store. If your local McDonalds, Chic Fila, or mall has an indoor playground, take advantage of it on rainy days (buy a cup of coffee or a soda for yourself to enjoy). Check with your local churches and schools to see if any have open gym time. Some even have walking tracks and childcare forh e little ones. At home, have your son do jumping jacks or run up and down the stairs if he starts acting up. That works really well for my son and he loves it. Crank up some music and spend some time dancing together. You can also find kid friendly workout videos on YouTube. With the exception of yoga I haven't actually used any, but that's an option. Good luck to you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Also, I know you said you live in a rental but can your son play in the driveway if you are supervising? Maybe even walk or ride his bike up and down the sidewalk 3-4 houses? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinkmint Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 As far as bike riding, the kids don't own bikes, we have a dangerous shared driveway with other housing units, there's a registered sex offender 2 houses down and lots of off-leash dogs because of all the irresponsible pet owners around here. I'm sorry if I sound discouraged. I am having a bad day. We have many weeks with one sick person at all times and my DS having behavior problems and I know I'm supposed to rise above circumstances but easier said than done. I feel helpless and hopeless right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 You have a 5 and a 1 yo as well? I would assume the 5 yo needs to get out and run around just as much as your 7 yo. Stick the baby in a stroller or carrier and you should all go outside. Even if it's chilly. I wouldn't say this is about finding a time to go with just your 7 yo alone and leave the other kids. You need to go out with all of them. If you live in an urban area, there's likely to be a sex offender on every block. You can't let it stop you from going outside. Be aware, but also know that the vast majority of abuse happens by people known to the child. Arm your kids with understanding. But at this age, absent a big yard, he's not really going to be out alone for long stretches anyway so you'll be nearby. There are no guarantees of course, but there's no guarantees in life and the benefits of being outside are going to be huge for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 As far as bike riding, the kids don't own bikes, we have a dangerous shared driveway with other housing units, there's a registered sex offender 2 houses down and lots of off-leash dogs because of all the irresponsible pet owners around here. I'm sorry if I sound discouraged. I am having a bad day. We have many weeks with one sick person at all times and my DS having behavior problems and I know I'm supposed to rise above circumstances but easier said than done. I feel helpless and hopeless right now. I'm sorry, it sounds like you need some encouragement. Hang in there, this is just a stage. I hope your day gets better. Keep an eye out at Goodwill for bikes or scooters (whatever you have space for) and let your friends know you are in the market if their kids outgrow theirs. We own 2 bikes, 3 scooters, and a trike and only bought one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerico Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Do you have a park nearby? I used to put my littlest ones in a stroller and i would throw a frisbee or punt a football for my older boys. They'd get more exercise running back and forth and i would not completely wear myself out lol. As for indoors in the cold though... My kids love doing kids zumba. I just search for the videos on youtube and its free :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Jump rope, hula hoop, and general calisthenics can be done pretty much anywhere, including indoors. And you know, it's not necessarily punishment, but when my son gets punchy, I just go "Hey, you look like you have some extra energy. Jump on the trampoline for 5 minutes." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 He may like being a helper and taking over vaccuming, mopping, etc. around the house (large muscle stuff). Just don't sweat it or redo his work if it is not as clean as you would have done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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