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Christmas gifts to all the children question


MeaganS
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Since baby 4 will be born in 2 weeks, I've been trying to get all my shopping and wrapping done and I had a question about how some of you handle a problem I'm having. Almost all the gifts I get for my kids are intended for them to all use. Things like Legos, dress-up, games, etc. Because they are the same gender and so close in age, they really do play with the same toys. So, who do I address them to when they are wrapped? Do I just divide them up evenly and then hope that they don't have ownership/fighting issues with them? Or do I just address them to The Girls and let them rotate who opens them on Christmas morning? Maybe "For: The Girls to be opened by DD7"? For the record, they are all getting at least one or two gifts specifically for them, so this isn't everything, just the majority. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has had this problem. :)

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The majority of our Christmas gifts have always been group gifts. I just address them to "The Boys" or I put all their names or nicknames on the tag. They usually all help open. They all get a few individual gifts, as well.

 

It has never been an issue for our family, an it is a part of our family culture. It drives my Mom nuts, but she had 1 girl and 1 boy to raise, not 5 boys only 6 years apart, kwim?

 

It has also allowed us to give nicer, bigger gifts since we didn't feel the need to divide money 5 equal ways, but could pool our resources.

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The majority of our Christmas gifts have always been group gifts. I just address them to "The Boys" or I put all their names or nicknames on the tag. They usually all help open. They all get a few individual gifts, as well.

 

It has never been an issue for our family, an it is a part of our family culture. It drives my Mom nuts, but she had 1 girl and 1 boy to raise, not 5 boys only 6 years apart, kwim?

 

It has also allowed us to give nicer, bigger gifts since we didn't feel the need to divide money 5 equal ways, but could pool our resources.

 

Same but just two boys.

 

Plus at their ages my kids are expected to share all their toys anyway. I don't worry about them fighting over toys because if they do, they lose them like always. "Brothers are more important than toys. brothers are more important than toys. Brothers are more important than toys."

 

They do get their own stockings, obv.

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We announce that we have family gifts for everyone to share and personal gifts. We open the personal gifts first so that everyone has had a turn of receiving something just for them (it helps with the grabbiness of littles).  We then announce that we have family gifts that everyone will get to play with and that everyone will get to open one of them (or we draw straws if it's just one present or the littlest opens it or whatever).

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Yeah, growing up as one of 6 kids, Christmas was a big deal and my mom put a lot of effort into making sure that she spent similar amounts of money for gifts as well as piles that looked similar sizes. The latter always confused me as to its importance, but whatever. The only group gifts we had usually came from Grandparents.

 

My toy philosophy is very different than my parents and my girls are very good about just playing with whatever. I also don't like junk and have had to work really hard to come up with actual gifts for Christmas this year since I almost think we are maxed out on toys. As it is, both grandparents are just sending money for museum passes and things like that.

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I would label them in whatever way is accurate.  If it's a group gift, label it to the group.  If something were addressed to me, I would expect it to be mine and not to be required to share it.  So, truth in advertising.  Label it to whomever it's really for.

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I like your idea!

 

One thing I read somewhere else that you might find helpful is to get a roll of Christmas wrapping paper for each child, and then the gifts are color-coded. Then you don't have to label them at all, but each child opens the ones that are wrapped in her own paper.

I have done this for years. When they were little I didn't tell them who had what wrapping. Now they are older I pick wrapping that suits their interest. Oldest DD gets some sort of green paper, middle gets penguins and youngest gets dogs if I can find them.

 

I usually get a huge roll rom Costco and it lasts me several years. When I get low I start using the backside for general gifts. (Paper is printed on both sides.)

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This is tricky for me, too. Our four girls are 4, 6, 8 and 10. So lots of things would fit them all, some would fit just the big girls and some would fit the littler two. And then there have been gifts (science kit, I'm looking at you) that at the time fit Kid1 but weren't really played with for whatever reason, no longer fit, but haven't been passed on because of a sense of ownership. We have always done 3 gifts per kid, but it's getting maybe a little trickier these days. I like the idea of putting more than one name on the tag and letting the first named kid open the box. Would I count that as one of the three gifts for both/all listed kids?

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All three of my kids want the same things this year. Some will be share gifts like video games and some will be individual even though they want the same thing IE Lego..they all get individual sets which they end up sharing and Shopkins they all get a different playset which again they will pool and end up sharing.

 

For opening shared gifts I let them choose...they can nominate someone to open it or they can all grab a corner and rip which is what they usually do. Has never caused any problems. Even with different genders my kids have always shared their toys anyway and been pretty unconcerned about who owns what except for some particulary special lovey type toys.

 

Santa gift this year is shared and it will be labelled to all three of them and will be a joint opening I am sure LOL.

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I do a mixture. Big joint gifts get listed as group gifts but components are individual.

 

For example, when we got the wooden play kitchen, it was listed for everyone. But the wooden play food was three seperate small sets, one for each child. The main train set was for everyone, but we got some tunnel pieces for one child, a turntable for another child and a special extra train for the third.

 

We got some things which we will split in half and give a package each of to each child, like the magic water balloons we got. 

 

So for osmething like lego, I would buy 4 (well, maybe 3) lego sets and label one for each child, and I'd probably let them build those individual models themselves, so they each had something special, but once it comes time to just 'add the lego to the tub' it would go in the communal tub. 

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I did alot of lego and brio trains.  each child had individual items to open, but they all shared.  (if it was particularly costly - multiple names were put on the item.)  I never really had any trouble with them fighting over toys.

 

they would also receive individual gifts that were specific to them.

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I address individually, but I have a home where the rule is "most of the toys are for all of the children" (some exceptions apply).

 

This is their "normal" so they expect it too, and we don't have many ownership issues. Some things become special and live in bedrooms. Most simply become "the toys" over the few weeks/months after Christmas and find a home in the play room or the project room.

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I address individually, but I have a home where the rule is "most of the toys are for all of the children" (some exceptions apply).

 

This is their "normal" so they expect it too, and we don't have many ownership issues. Some things become special and live in bedrooms. Most simply become "the toys" over the few weeks/months after Christmas and find a home in the play room or the project room.

 

I think this is a big part of it. My kids know the 'special toys', and they know toys other than the 'special toys' go into the communal area. The only special toys right now are a couple of special nightlights, the eldests play laptop, their individual bikes, and a couple of more 'big girl' items like their nail polish. From this years christmas presents,I think the only gift which will maintain an owner is some better quality art supplies for my eldest that will be hers to care for without sisters using them to scribble. Same applies to birthdays, the toy is specifically and exclusively the birthday childs for a week or two, and it just naturally becomes family property once the initial novelty wears off. 

 

They might all get their own puzzle with their own name, but once they'd had a turn being the first to complete it (the special privilege always reserved for the official receiver), it goes on the puzzle shelf with all the other puzzles for anyone to do. 

 

My husbands house was different, they really did have individual puzzles, individual legos, individual everything. It seems very strange to me, and expensive for a family with 8 kids.

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My kids always got their own gifts, noted by different papers, and then there were usually a few sharing gifts. In yet another paper. It's ink mine would have been upset without gifts to call their own. They generally share things anyway, but it's still 'theirs'. The sharing increases as the present ages. :)

 

Now we just do something to read, need, wear, share, and want. So 5 gifts, 4 personal, 1 sharing for each kid. Plus a simple stocking.

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