NewIma Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I have two kids and one of them (age 8) is extremely intense and has lots of temper tantrums, She has always been an intense kid, and it can make homeschooling extremely exhausting. My dh and I are trying to address it in a more focused way once again and are working on being more consistent with consequences, staying calm without engaging etc. I just read this article in Psychology Today saying that screen time can cause behavioral issues and am wondering if maybe we should go screen free too in addition to working on parenting stuff. I know it won't fix everything, but if there is a chance that it would improve things even 10% it would be worth it. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-wealth/201508/screentime-is-making-kids-moody-crazy-and-lazy I was homeschooled growing up and my parents got rid of our tv when I was 8. We had a regular rest time and had to play quietly in our rooms for one hour each day. I would probably do something similar. Right now we do have a rest time for 1 1/2 hours after learning time where the kids watch tv and I eat chocolate and nap. School work can be very stressful with my child's behavior so I need a break after learning time to reset and be ready for the rest of the day. The problem is the kids REALLY like TV. They look forward to it all morning. So how do I transition them from regular TV watching to no TV, while still having rest time? Ideas I have include: 1) Getting each child a CD player for audio books and maybe some new puzzles? 2) On Saturdays dh and I have tea while the kids watch TV so maybe also a special audio book they can only listen to on Saturday mornings? 3) Dh and I also giving up TV so it doesn't feel unfair? It would be good for us anyway.... 4) Having a family movie night once a week? Any and all thoughts and suggestions on how to do this and what the process is like if you have BTDT would be very much appreciated! Thank you in advance! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Cut cable completely, if you haven't already. Consider a streaming device for family movie night (or borrow dvds from the library). That's all I've got. Hopefully, others have more ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) nm Edited December 2, 2015 by ^ 022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I think you have to work out what works for your family. Your ideas sound good. When my dc were young they only had 15 minutes a day for fun computer time unless it was for specials. I always gave myself a , for specials, out. They watched videos but not every day. If ds was with friends they played more on the computer but I chased them outside as well. I don't think it matters if you watch TV after they are in bed. This worked well for their childhood. Adults and children don't have to have the same rules. Although I personally wouldn't want to be chasing a child out if I were watching something I didn't want them to watch. We changed our watching habits as well. Now as young adults dd can binge on netflix like nobodies business and ds is working toward a film career and is internet and youtube savy. haha Oh well, it held them and us in good stead during the early years. By high school they need to learn how to regulate their online experience. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 We had to do it cold turkey. No easing off or movies or anything remotely similar. My dh seemed to have a harder time with it than our dc did. He would sit and watch sports and news shows nonstop, even falling asleep on the couch or floor. I think he was raised that way, so that's his 'normal'. I didn't want our dc doing that though. We did exactly this. We went off all screens cold turkey. We have laptops, iPads and phones - with passwords on. None of us watch any TV and don't use iPad apps. In our case, our pediatrician recommended us to "reduce" screen time because of DS's sleep issues - which were quite major - and we decided to cut off all screens. It is a sacrifice for my DH who still thinks that cutting screens is old school BS and that times have changed and that there is an app for everything etc. etc. He still watches major sporting events all by himself. DS is used to no TV by now and hence it is easy to persuade him to not watch when there is too much sports happening. My DH uses his laptop in his study to watch shows, news and the stock market updates. I don't watch anything on TV. I have amazon Prime and use it only for exercise videos and such things. The amount of time that we save by not watching TV is phenomenal - we get out a lot, DS practices a lot of his music, we do a lot of board games, puzzles etc which we could never get around to when there was screen time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulalu Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Cold turkey worked here. Took about a week to get it "out of the system" but my son is much younger. Any amount of tv sets us back at square one and begging for tv. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 We have had unplugged weeks in which we turned off all internet, tv, games for one week. We worked up to it having an unplugged day here and there. There will be withdrawal, crankiness, for a day or so, on your part and the kids. My kiddo gets overwhelmed with too much technology so we limit him to 1/2 hour of wii a day. Tv wise, his viewing has been going up and I'm monitoring, we don't watch live tv. Everything is recorded. That way we have control and don't have to watch commercials and we choose the time to watch. I hardly watch tv anymore, maybe one or two hours a week. Same with hubby. We prefer to read. For my son, now 16, most of his viewing is history channel. However he has just discovered scooby do and gilligan's island. Still, he isn't allowed to watch more than one hour. Use viewing as a reward for good behavior, for getting chores done or certain lessons. I like your idea of audiobooks during the midday quiet time. Just as refreshing. We listen in the car and sometimes in the evening. If do watch tv, make it after a certain time. James isn't supposed to do technology time until 4:00. Having that time set means he won't be bugging me about when and concentrate on the now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 I used to unplug my kids when they displayed undesirable behaviors for extended periods. It usually resulted in crankiness for the first couple of days. By the end of the week they were back in control of themselves. In general, we had no tv until school/chores were completed during the week. Dh and I would watch after they went to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 We cut out screens from M-F for the kids. I give them 10-20 minutes a day to catch up on their games (because they have to collect coins or something or other) or sent a message to a friend. We do watch tv in the evening with Dad, because he won't give up screens. He just won't. So, we watch some shows together while we eat dinner. I've relaxed it a bit lately, as the behavioral issues got better, and allow a bit more tv but there are still strong limits in place for games. The kids were pretty bored at first and couldn't come with much to do, but they're better at coming up with stuff to do now. My kids will happily play on electronics all day long every single day, as I discovered this summer. I let them play as much as they wanted, waiting to see if they'd ever stop. They played non-stop for weeks. I do NOT have the type of kids who seek out other things after a while. They never grew bored of electronics. Maybe once a week or so one of them would want to do something else for a tiny bit of time. I learned that if I don't stop them from playing electronics, they'll never stop themselves. Then again, I love to binge watch Netflix and hang out here all day, so I understand the draw. On the weekends, there are mostly no rules. And they play a lot of electronics on the weekends unless we're doing something else we've already planned. Down time is spent with their games. I don't need to curtail the weekends at this point, as the behavioral issues got much better when I cut the games on M-F. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Cold turkey. Substitute an evening hike. When it's appropriate add in a family movie night, but not right away. Get rid of all TVs or all but one. We watch movies on a computer screen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer132 Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 Since they are used to it daily at a certain time, I would ease them out of it little by little over a few weeks. Keep your daily rest time, and tell them, on Friday, instead of a movie, you may choose something to play with in your room instead. Make the time a bit shorter at first, and let them keep movie time on all the other days. The following week, tell them you will do quiet rest time in your rooms Thursday and Friday, and so on until they have gotten used to it. I would make a point of not watching tv unless they are in bed already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 We aren't absolutely no screen time, but it is pretty rare. We have 1 TV and it's in our bedroom, not the living room. The kids don't have their own devices. So the only time we have screen time for the kids is a special occasion (usually dh and I are going out, or if most of us are sick). Thankfully, with flat screens, a 32" TV is very easy to carry from the bedroom to the living room and back again. We don't have cable, but we do have a DVD player and Netflix. I would do two things. 1. Make a DECISION. If there is a crack in the dam of your resolve on this matter, your kids will know and make you suffer for it. 2. For the first week, try to be busy and out of the house, this will help them with the withdrawl. After that, present them with 1-2 reasonably attractive ways to occupy themselves during quiet time (good audiobooks, an art supply, whatever might look good to them) and then divorce yourself from their happiness with the situation. I haven't read the article you referenced (though I'm going to), but I do know that we had to do this with our oldest. He was a basically good kid with some poor attitudes that I could just tell were stemming from an obsession with screen time. We had all the usual stuff: console and hand held video games, ipod touch, kid's laptop, TV in the living room, and we just cut it all. The TVs became 1 TV in the bedroom (if you are going to keep a TV it's important that it's not in the living area, reminding them of it all the time), and all the rest just went. That was about 10 years ago. Recently, my 17 year old thanked me for getting rid of that stuff and said he was glad that he didn't have to combat the screen addictions of many of his peers. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted November 13, 2015 Share Posted November 13, 2015 (edited) nm Edited December 2, 2015 by ^ 022 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 We went cold turkey when the kids were little (4/5 ish). One day the tv broke. Maybe it was unplugged... ;-) Either way, it just wouldn't turn on. LOL. With cutting out tv and reducing toys by about 75%, my kids were WAY more relaxed and content. We now have tv but we monitor usage closely. My kids are teens. I still find too much screen time to adversely affect their attitudes, but now we can talk about it, cut it down, and self monitor better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 We are screen free six days a week, with Saturday being a binge day. The kids have named it Saturday Screen Day lol. I hated fighting with them, setting timers, dealing with attitudes and behavior problems associated with screen time all week. We used to have a one hour per day screen time, but it usually ended in asking for five more minutes, getting upset or angry when the timer went off in the middle of a movie or game ect. So I told them they could sit in their rooms allllllll day Saturday and binge watch, but not on any other day. They loved the idea. I do secretly have a trick...See, Saturday is the day we plan 'fun stuff' with daddy, friends, outings, ect. Saturday morning starts off with one dd going to conditioning/open gym at gymnastics for 3 hours. She loves it. The older dd has archery practice Saturday morning for three hours at the park, so littlest dd goes along to get some play time with all the younger siblings of the archers. They both love that. We usually head out for a family lunch after morning activities. In the afternoon, we plan bike rides, BBQs with friends, rock climbing, ect. So in reality, they generally only watch for a couple of hours, but they don't complain-in their mind, Saturday is free day and they are happy enough with that. They haven't realized my secret planning of ALL THE FUN THINGS. 😉 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 For us, we have one TV in the lounge room (which I have considered moving to the bedroom) and thats it. We don't have a set schedule for TV, it varies depending on our week, the kids know they have to ask, and we havent had too much trouble with nagging. Usually if they nag I'll send them outside. They probably get about an hour three times a week of kids shows. We also put on documentaries or watch shows as a family over dinner (since we work atypical schedules, the 'evening meal' is nowhere near as important for our family, and we quite enjoy watching a series intentionally as a family during dinnertime rather than the need for a meal around the dining table), but for us the difference is that it's an intentional choice. We don't just put the TV on all afternoon, we choose to watch a specific show, and do it, and then turn it off and put some music on or something. We show that the TV is a tool for intentional use, not an easy thing to stare mindlessly at while bored. But mine have had this routine since birth, so I have no tips on moving them off it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiwik Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 I need to cut screens a lot. ds8 uses his tablet on the toilet as he has to sit on the toilet for 15 mins after breakfast and tea. It is not worth it to do away for that but if I could limit it to those 2 15 minute periods it would be good. The problem is me. I am exhausted when I get home from work and the kids tend to play rowdy games which I need to intervene in. My plan is this. We are going camping for 4 days. There will be no internet and no way of charging things so I will let them have 15 minutes twice a day until the batteries run out. When we come back I will keep them busy after school until tea. I will enforce early bed so I do get the time to myself I need. And I will give them Saturday morning for screens then sign them up to Saturday activities when possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craftymama Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 We've never had a lot of screens in the house, but screen time was becoming too whiny so I cut it off. We don't use the TV M-F in general. If we do it's to watch an episode of Liberty Kids or Magic School Bus or the like on DVD and then it goes off again. And that is generally after an appointment of some sort to help mommy figure out how to adjust the rest of the day. Sometimes they will get tablet time on tablets from the library (our librarians really wanted us to check them out and see what we thought) but that is for 15-20 minutes after everything else they were suppose to do for the day is done and not everyday. Otherwise we do allow cartoons on Saturday and Sunday morning because we're old school. There was complaining and begging in the beginning. I stood strong and it came to an end. Since then, and really it's only been a few months, days are just more pleasant. Bedtime is easier too. They always find something fun to do and the oldest is much more productive. Personally, I find it a much better way of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 Going from school time to rest time without a TV 'sedative' might be a bit much for an active kid. If the goal is improving behavior, I'd get him outside every day that there isn't lightening for some sun, air, and physical activity. He might need to blow off steam before he can settle and rest. A quick morning recess in the middle of your morning class routine could be a beneficial break too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted November 14, 2015 Share Posted November 14, 2015 We used to allow tv between quiet time and dinner every night. Feeling that a break is good when something starts to feel like a need, we started with a tv-free month, and have done it a few times over the last several years. This last time, the difference in his behavior was so dramatic that we decided to reinstate tv/movies for Sunday afternoons and occasional date nights only. To make the transition better, I chose a time of year with decent weather for being outdoors, and I also prepared a jar of substitute activity ideas. I knew up front that I would need to be willing to engage in play some of the time. Obviously, your choices will vary with your kids' ages and interests, but here are some ideas: Board games Blanket fort and picture books Bubbles Painting Take a walk Clean something Snap Circuits or another science kit Make up silly stories Sock puppets Set up a marble run Tea/cocoa and poetry/fairy tales Look at baby pictures Bake something Mix baking soda and vinegar Get out the rock collection Make paper airplanes Do a maze Write someone a letter Play dentist, doctor, restaurant, zookeeper.... For our afternoon quiet time, we started with rotating toys and books at least weekly, with a reward for not coming out or calling for attention (unless actually needed, like the time he got a nosebleed) until the timer changed color. Slowly, we built up from half an hour to an hour and a half, and he came to appreciate the down time. Now I don't have to do anything except occasionally offer new audiobooks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewIma Posted November 15, 2015 Author Share Posted November 15, 2015 I love all of your responses!! Thank you so much!! I am actually feeling kind of excited about it now! I think it will give the kids more time to read and play (10 hours a week more time!) and that can't be bad for them! Lol we are on a long term business trip and head back to the states around Thanksgiving so that gives me some time to order new audio books etc. to get ready for the transition to TV free quiet times. My biggest concern is Saturday mornings bc dh and I do like to sleep in. We need something special they can only do on weekends... I need to think about this some more! Thank you everybody!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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