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How would you all like to help me with a character? I need a "human" diagnosis that I can modify for this child. She actually has very good reason for some of her behaviors that she exhibits, but to her culture and those around her, she seems very odd.

Socially-she will go up and talk with anyone, even complete strangers, even those who her society would deem quite dangerous. She is completely unafraid of anything. The usual precautions that would deter a child she ignores. She does not have friends. She has no peers of her age group. Older students will actually "use" her when they need to get around a particular illusion that has been used to keep them out of something, because she ignores it, and they can judge whether something is truly dangerous by allowing her to get hurt. :sad: Yeah, they can be kind of mean to her. She simply does not seem to notice this. She has extreme difficulty with reading, she would say that the symbols don't mean anything. She's prone to daydreaming, and will talk to herself, play by herself, and doesn't really want anyone to participate in her games. Her family history indicates that she has been passed around from family to family, often staying only a few months at a time before going somewhere else. Her dreamy, quiet self alternates with almost absurdly savage bouts of temper. She often greatly overreacts, particularly when she feels she is being punished for something. You can't do a thing with her when she is in one of these moods. She may even try to hurt herself. 

 

I need to come up with a close human diagnosis so that I can help my main character out when it comes to dealing with this particular child. She's quite young, around eight or so would be her human age, but mentally, she can seem to be anywhere from about 4 to 18. She has moments when she seems to understand thing that are well beyond the usual, but then she can throw a real tantrum over a broken crayon for example. She has no family, and she's likely well aware that she isn't really wanted wherever she goes. It is her habit now to try to be "very, very good" for the first few weeks, almost charming (she's quite the cute little thing with "dandelion hair") and then you get to find out how challenging she can really be.

 

Ideas?

 

ETA: Not based on anybody I know, unless you count my protagonist, who was a little like this himself as a child. 

Edited by Critterfixer
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Well we're two for two at church today. We went to evening service where previously mentioned person avoided eye contact. I was sitting at a table minding my own business when someone who loves to judge my parenting came over. After a short conversation about medical care she said we won't be able to adopt because they don't let people adopt that don't raise their kids right. So, in case you were wondering whether I'm raising my kids right or not the answer is no. I'm converting.

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I'm having a hormonal day. Someone at church who is typically not very nice was not very nice again today. I've cried 3 times. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm hormonal. So there. I made a mistake with the power point and asked her to tell the power point guy I would be there early to replace it. She didn't tell him or text me back so I assumed she didn't see her phone. Right before service started she told me she doesn't like the way I am and she would appreciate it if I didn't text or call her anymore. I have no clue what she meant. She's always hated me and speaks cruelly to me almost every Sunday. I'm becoming bitter.

Hormonal or not, both these people need a good elephant ninja throat punch.

 

Aaaaand Done! Bet they felt that one all the way over on the West Coast.

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I think I'm going to write an open letter: To everyone at the church who is better than me. I can think of so many pleasant things to put in it. So I'll type it up, then I'll put it in the church bulletin because I'm the secretary and nobody would notice until everyone had one. Oh, that would be so satisfying.

 

Ummm... you need to resist this urge, at least to publish it.

 

I'd hand write it and then burn it in an act of self-sacrifice.

 

 

 

 I was sitting at a table minding my own business when someone who loves to judge my parenting came over. After a short conversation about medical care she said we won't be able to adopt because they don't let people adopt that don't raise their kids right. So, in case you were wondering whether I'm raising my kids right or not the answer is no. I'm converting.

 

You know what? Never mind, write the damn thing and move to a new church.

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The lessons and carols service was lovely, though an 8pm service is a bit late for my kids. 2 of them slept through most of it, and afterwards poor dd13 said (in a very tired, weepy voice) that she was sooooo tired but couldn't rest because the singing was just SO LOUD! :D Fortunately everyone (except me, the driver) got a nice nap on the 2 hour drive home. Nighty night.

Edited by Susan in TN
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For the record there are some lovely people at my church. Pastor told me that once I became church secretary I would find out that there are less lovely people than I realized, and he was right, but there are still some lovely people there. But there are definitely some that I could live without.

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Good Monday Morning! 

 

Craziness here, going to town a couple times, etc.  In addition, the upstairs toilet is still not normal.  We shut off the water line to it.  I've had to bail out the toilet bowl several times because of water rising back up into it from the drain.  No other drains are backing up at all (thank goodness!), but I think I'm calling a plumber today. 

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Good morning! It's a brand spankin' new week!

 

I think I am going to skip the free grocery store field trip that we signed up to go on this morning and completely forgot about. Just got an email reminder. Most of the kids are still sleeping.

 

It is concert week and I have general stuff to get together and planned. It will be a light week of school, and then we'll be done until January.

 

Lynn, I sure hope your toilet issue is fixed quickly!

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You have described pretty perfectly Reactive Attachment Disorder. 

 
 

That appears to be dead on for both this child and the adult protagonist. His outbursts of anger tend to be on a much larger scale and a lot more infrequent, but he does a lot of the same things as this child does, just in an adult way. I wonder if that will make him more sympathetic or make him defensive when he has to interact with her? So far it seems to be defensive, but he's curious--I think he "gets" her in a way that the other characters don't. Hmm.

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Well we're two for two at church today. We went to evening service where previously mentioned person avoided eye contact. I was sitting at a table minding my own business when someone who loves to judge my parenting came over. After a short conversation about medical care she said we won't be able to adopt because they don't let people adopt that don't raise their kids right. So, in case you were wondering whether I'm raising my kids right or not the answer is no. I'm converting.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

I definitely think you should convert.  You do NOT belong in the Church of A$$es.

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For the record there are some lovely people at my church. Pastor told me that once I became church secretary I would find out that there are less lovely people than I realized, and he was right, but there are still some lovely people there. But there are definitely some that I could live without.

 

This has been my problem with every church ever.  They're full of people.  Darn it.

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Hi, everyone. 

 

We are having spring here.  I really, really don't like spring.  Over the next couple of days, we are forecast to get 2+ inches of rain.  And our ground is still frozen.  Which means flooding with a topping of icy mud. undertheweather.gif

 

Today, however, I shall venture out into the deluge to take Nana to her hair appointment in the Not-So-Big-But-Bigger-Than-Here City.  Hopefully, the mud slides will wait until tomorrow or Wednesday.  And the child will remain on task without me whipping.gif

We'll see.  I hope everyone has a blessed day!

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Well we're two for two at church today. We went to evening service where previously mentioned person avoided eye contact. I was sitting at a table minding my own business when someone who loves to judge my parenting came over. After a short conversation about medical care she said we won't be able to adopt because they don't let people adopt that don't raise their kids right. So, in case you were wondering whether I'm raising my kids right or not the answer is no. I'm converting.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Oh, honey girl, I am so, so sorry. What is wrong with some people????

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We could start a math fight or something...

 

Shopping carts, shoes, crock pots anyone?

Baha! Start a math fight! Laughing!

 

I always find it funny how a delete those thread or nm ir don't reply etc....are the longest threads on the board lol

 

Love it. Good stuff winds up being talked about there usually. At least...amusing :)

 

I need amusing! Lol

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I'm having a hormonal day. Someone at church who is typically not very nice was not very nice again today. I've cried 3 times. I know it's not a big deal, but I'm hormonal. So there. I made a mistake with the power point and asked her to tell the power point guy I would be there early to replace it. She didn't tell him or text me back so I assumed she didn't see her phone. Right before service started she told me she doesn't like the way I am and she would appreciate it if I didn't text or call her anymore. I have no clue what she meant. She's always hated me and speaks cruelly to me almost every Sunday. I'm becoming bitter.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :crying: :crying: :crying:

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Good morning.  I think my long nap yesterday helped a lot, as I'm feeling pretty good this morning.

 

I need to round up the kids to begin school soon, but they're playing so happily...

 

 

I'm combining a few of my kids for history this year.  Today's lesson looks fun (to me!).  Ds15 and dd13 are studying early American History this year.  Dd11 is studying our family history.  For the next few weeks we will be combined, learning about some of our ancestors who lived in the Colonial period.

 

Today's lesson is on Benjamin Nye (1620-1714),  one of their great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfathers.  

 

http://www.nyefamily.org/home/homestead-museum We're going on a virtual field trip!!

 

A few weeks ago we learned about their ancestors who lived in Jamestown and others who came to America on the Mayflower.

 

Anyway, I will consider this lesson successful if I have at least one child who is interested (or at least pretends to be).  And if we avoid eyerolls   :001_rolleyes: , I will be even happier.

 

 

This has been Junie's obligatory educational post.

 

 

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Baha! Start a math fight! Laughing!

 

I always find it funny how a delete those thread or nm ir don't reply etc....are the longest threads on the board lol

 

Love it. Good stuff winds up being talked about there usually. At least...amusing :)

 

I need amusing! Lol

 

Amusing we are.

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Slache, I think your church's behavior goes above and beyond small-town rudeness.

 

It's one thing if a woman is always passive-aggressively complaining that nobody appreciates the bouquets, or another refuses to help with the Sunday School because "I don't know how to deal with kids whose parents don't raise them" or other rude things. Those are bound to happen when you get a medium-sized group of people in a small town together long enough. A good leader will channel that and bring out the best in people but they can't make people disappear, no.

 

What you are experiencing is beyond the normal level of rudeness. Something is wrong there. I don't believe in "spirits" per se but honestly... that is not a good spirit in that group! Either the pastor needs to get his freak on and do something about this or you need to go somewhere that your family and EVERY family is respected.

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That appears to be dead on for both this child and the adult protagonist. His outbursts of anger tend to be on a much larger scale and a lot more infrequent, but he does a lot of the same things as this child does, just in an adult way. I wonder if that will make him more sympathetic or make him defensive when he has to interact with her? So far it seems to be defensive, but he's curious--I think he "gets" her in a way that the other characters don't. Hmm.

It would likely not make him sympathetic.  RAD causes a lack of ability to form deep relationships/attachments to others and lack of trust.  It's a spectrum so people can be mild or severe, but the moderate to severe cases are life-long and very impairing.

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Slache, I think your church's behavior goes above and beyond small-town rudeness.

 

It's one thing if a woman is always passive-aggressively complaining that nobody appreciates the bouquets, or another refuses to help with the Sunday School because "I don't know how to deal with kids whose parents don't raise them" or other rude things. Those are bound to happen when you get a medium-sized group of people in a small town together long enough. A good leader will channel that and bring out the best in people but they can't make people disappear, no.

 

What you are experiencing is beyond the normal level of rudeness. Something is wrong there. I don't believe in "spirits" per se but honestly... that is not a good spirit in that group! Either the pastor needs to get his freak on and do something about this or you need to go somewhere that your family and EVERY family is respected.

 

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

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Baha! Start a math fight! Laughing!

 

I always find it funny how a delete those thread or nm ir don't reply etc....are the longest threads on the board lol

 

Love it. Good stuff winds up being talked about there usually. At least...amusing :)

 

I need amusing! Lol

 

Hi Kat w!  Welcome!  (I'd recommend you skip a few hundred pages... Another Lynn can catch you up on the important stuff; she's good at that.)

 

:seeya:

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((Slache)) Personal attacks are not good.  Hope the ninja throat punch worked.

 

JoJo--hope the mud slides hold off. A girl has to get her hair done.  

 

Susan--hurray for the almost Christmas break!

 

(((AnotherLynn)))--plumbing issues make me  :crying: . Hope your woes are short-lived and the plumber is on it!

 

I had a productive weekend. 10 bags of leaves and shrubbery clippings are ready to go for bulk pickup. I finished hanging a bunch of stuff on walls. Laundry was beaten back into submission.  I have too much Monday going on here, though. Seriously, I need to pass some of my Monday to-do onto Tuesday and pace myself. My kids are dragging their feet in an epic way, so I'm taking a breather and regrouping.

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I finished the first Outlander book yesterday and started on the second. I am upset with the second one because I didn't like the way it started. So I went back and read all the good parts in the first one. :D

 

We are not having school today.

I will have dental pain relief tomorrow. Long story, but relief is insight.

Also, a homeschool field trip tomorrow. Ugh.

Dh's birthday was yesterday. I done nothing about it other than say happy birthday. I will have to fix that when I get to feeling better.

 

Which reminds me, Tex, the twins birthday is on the 19th too! It is crazy to have birthdays so close to Christmas.

 

Hope y'all have a wonderful day!

Edited by Openhearted
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It would likely not make him sympathetic.  RAD causes a lack of ability to form deep relationships/attachments to others and lack of trust.  It's a spectrum so people can be mild or severe, but the moderate to severe cases are life-long and very impairing.

 

So far this child mostly annoys him. He's quite liable to do the wrong thing when it comes to dealing with her, since he's mostly done the wrong things for himself. She's a good character to challenge him to consider how messed up he is in society. Ironically, he's exceptionally more attached to the society he grew up in for the last 500+ years...

This being a fantasy story there are pretty substantial magical reasons for his disconnect with his society, and there are magical and societal reasons for the child being the way she is. But it's always a good idea to try to have a human cause and solution, even for fantasy characters. He's got to grow beyond himself, and in some ways I think that being forced to face some of his poor coping mechanisms by watching them fail spectacularly with her gives him a chance to face change and decide whether to accept it or reject it.

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We are in the final stretch before Christmas break.  If only I can survive until Thursday!  Rough night's sleep, and an even rougher morning, so Monday isn't looking good.  

 

Ds8 made his signature breakfast for everyone, though, which helped tremendously.  A giant vat of old-fashioned oats.  His secret recipe is... well... secret.  But I think it involves a substantial amount of brown sugar.   :huh:  It was well-received by all the ducklings.  I had my usual omelet, which I share with you lest you think that I breakfasted on brown sugar.   I am bad, but I am not that bad. 

 

Little Duck (dd5) ran into the family room yesterday and announced that she was running for Tooting Body President.   I told her she has my vote.   :hat:  

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Have you considered planning ahead and shopping online?

 

I have considered a great many things, dear Slashaboo.

 

Considering and implementing are two very different things, though.  

 

 

(This, by the way, was grocery shopping, not Christmas shopping.  I do most shopping online, but perishables are a bit trickier.)

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Hi Kat w! Welcome! (I'd recommend you skip a few hundred pages... Another Lynn can catch you up on the important stuff; she's good at that.)

 

:seeya:

Ohhhh i see (Tarzan) l

*tiptoes away ignorant with fingers in ears singling....LA LA LA LA al ha-ha ;)

 

And thank you for welcome. That was cute :)

Edited by Kat w
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The girls are eating apples at the dining room table and singing about Gandhi with all the heartfelt emotion that little Queen Elsa wannabes can muster.

Hey. No e are eating apples. :)....candied...apples grandma just sent in the mail :)

 

She must be quietly laughing inside knowing...they r all hyped up on sugar and must run ...alot...before even attempting the first lick of school :)

 

I thought my mom liked me! Lol. Whatd I ever do to her ha-ha :)

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Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhh! Susan!!!!!!!!!!

 

You're never gonna believe it!!!!! Or maybe you have read it already.

 

But..............“and Bob’s your uncle.†from Outlander book 2, 23% into book.

 

I couldna wait to tell ye.;)

Thumbs Up! Your memory is astounding - what did you have for breakfast?

 

(Maybe I ought to give the series another try.)

Edited by Susan in TN
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No eyerolls, but lots of "Are we done?"  "Can I leave?"  My children don't have much patience for being taught anything.  I guess I did a good job of teaching them to be independent learners.  :)  :(

 

Dd11, dd9, and dd7 also did a lesson on Sweden today.  We learned about their very different land usage customs, St. Lucia. Lapland, the midnight sun, ...and IKEA.   :D

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Slache, I think your church's behavior goes above and beyond small-town rudeness.

 

It's one thing if a woman is always passive-aggressively complaining that nobody appreciates the bouquets, or another refuses to help with the Sunday School because "I don't know how to deal with kids whose parents don't raise them" or other rude things. Those are bound to happen when you get a medium-sized group of people in a small town together long enough. A good leader will channel that and bring out the best in people but they can't make people disappear, no.

 

What you are experiencing is beyond the normal level of rudeness. Something is wrong there. I don't believe in "spirits" per se but honestly... that is not a good spirit in that group! Either the pastor needs to get his freak on and do something about this or you need to go somewhere that your family and EVERY family is respected.

The church was great when I was a kid, but It's dying now. Problems are being addressed, I'm just tired of being in the middle of it. 

 

I have considered a great many things, dear Slashaboo.

 

Considering and implementing are two very different things, though.  

 

 

(This, by the way, was grocery shopping, not Christmas shopping.  I do most shopping online, but perishables are a bit trickier.)

We buy almost everything including frozen things online. We go to the store for produce.

 

Oh! Oh! Ohhhhhhhhhh! Susan!!!!!!!!!!

 

You're never gonna believe it!!!!! Or maybe you have read it already.

 

But..............“and Bob’s your uncle.†from Outlander book 2, 23% into book.

 

I couldna wait to tell ye. ;)

Someone uses a Kindle.

 

 

 

 

Le booya.

Edited by Slache
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Oh Junie! Feel free to give us a lesson on your family history! It sounds so totally cool!

 

I drove by an IKEA in Sweden once - it looked exactly like an American one. :D

 

I've been doing some family history research, and it is fascinating.  Dh's mother and a paternal aunt had already done a lot of research on their family.  We bought a family tree maker program when we married and added in all of the information.  When we added in the info for my side of the family, there was virtually nothing.  I was not happy that our children's family tree would be so lopsided, so I went to work with my friend, Google.

 

I have found so much interesting information!  (And I also have been able to add to dh's tree.)

 

So far, I've found Pilgrims, French Huguenots, Quakers, Swiss Mennonites (my step-father's family, so not blood relations), Creek Indians, people massacred in Indian raids (hopefully not by the Creeks, lol)... just all sorts of everyday people from various locations and time periods.

 

I'm hoping to turn these lessons into a book that my children will be able to pass to future generations.  (Maybe I should have participated in NaNoWriMo.   :laugh: )

 

No relatives in Sweden (that I know of).  That was just a random geography lesson.

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Don't run away, Jean!  We love you here!

 

I was lurking ninja style.  No running involved.  I then went back to bed like I do every morning after fulfilling my maternal duty to deliver my son to work.

 

I had just gotten myself back into a very deep sleep when my mother called.  I was groping wildly for the phone, I couldn't see what button to push and was randomly pushing things until I heard my mother's voice.

 

Mom - "Hi.  Did you call me?"

 

Me - "um..  no."

 

Mom - " Oh, the phone told me to call you (she still doesn't quite get caller i.d. - esp. the part where it shows when someone called  you   like days or weeks ago.)  "I can't talk though.  I'm going to the pharmacy."

 

Me left holding the phone going :confused1: .  I'm not mad at her though.  She'll be 91 next month.  She gets a few allowances due to that.  (She's sharp as a tack but not about these newfangled phones.)

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