fairfarmhand Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 My oldest daughter is my challenging to parent kiddo. She's driven. intense. passionate, explosive at times, and pretty much spends portions of her life "wound up tight" in the words of my mother. You can't miss this kid; whatever she does she does it all out, whether it's competing in 4H, playing tag football with her homeschool group or throwing the biggest temper fit you;ve ever seen. I will be doing some writing about homeschooling this type of kid...you know it if you have one like this...the one that falls apart over missing one word in a 30 word spelling test....the one who says that their not learning math well is your fault because you're not a real teacher, the one who, once they start with an explosion, cannot be backed down. I need a one word description of my kid. Intense is okay. Challenging is decent. I'd prefer to stay away from words with negative connotations, like "difficult." Even the word "explosive" is a bit too negative for what I would like to discuss. I can use challenging or intense if I have to, but I'm kind of hoping for something with a little more pop to it. Ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trilliums Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Spirited? Boundary tester? Limit pusher? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Capricious? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Passionate, emotional, theatrical, demonstrative... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Inflexible? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Challenging is way overused, IMO, and can be applied to too many variables. I think intense is good. I've read about your girl before and have one similar. I think intense is appropriate. Her teachers from outside courses always describe her as "enthusiastic" because that is the flip-side positive of that trait. Intense can play out as enthusiasm and investment and dedication...or go the other way! (DD started crying this morning because a meeting she was looking forward to was cancelled. I gave a sigh, and she said, why do get mad at me for crying? That doesn't mean I think it's the end of the world, it just means I feel really strongly right then. Just give me a minute! :) She's right. We are learning to communicate. And she is learning bit by bit to direct her intensity in the appropriate directions..) ETA, saw someone suggested "passionate"...I like that one too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Inflexible? Flexibility is a huge trait that intense kids need to develop. I don't see inflexibility as the source of their intensity, but rather something they desperately need to work on in order to function. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Perfectionist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalmia Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 She's a "Firecracker!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I started calling my daughter "my melody" to help me think more positively about her. She loves to sing. I guess the complement to that would be sometimes she is operatic, sometimes she is baroque, sometimes she is romantic, sometimes she is impressionist, sometimes she is avant-garde, but she is never boring. "Hon, you are my melody but we could use with a bit more waltz with the beat at this moment and a little less opera..." She loves music so to her that is special. Passionate is good, IMO and I do use that to refer to my daughter because I believe passion is a great, great quality and it's all about learning to direct it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 Flexibility is a huge trait that intense kids need to develop. I don't see inflexibility as the source of their intensity, but rather something they desperately need to work on in order to function. I was trying so hard not to use intense... but it really is what fits. Firecracker (as pp mentioned!) and "a little pistol" have been used in our family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 My oldest daughter is my challenging to parent kiddo. She's driven. intense. passionate, explosive at times, and pretty much spends portions of her life "wound up tight" in the words of my mother. You can't miss this kid; whatever she does she does it all out, whether it's competing in 4H, playing tag football with her homeschool group or throwing the biggest temper fit you;ve ever seen. I will be doing some writing about homeschooling this type of kid...you know it if you have one like this...the one that falls apart over missing one word in a 30 word spelling test....the one who says that their not learning math well is your fault because you're not a real teacher, the one who, once they start with an explosion, cannot be backed down. I need a one word description of my kid. Intense is okay. Challenging is decent. I'd prefer to stay away from words with negative connotations, like "difficult." Even the word "explosive" is a bit too negative for what I would like to discuss. I can use challenging or intense if I have to, but I'm kind of hoping for something with a little more pop to it. Ideas? Wondering why you need to label her. Can't you simply use adjectives to describe what she does? Formidable. Exacting. Unyielding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 Wondering why you need to label her. Can't you simply use adjectives to describe what she does? Formidable. Exacting. Unyielding. I'm not exactly wanting to label HER in particular. I'm needing a simply title for an article that sort of encompasses her personality. The reason I am asking is because her personality will really serve her well in many situations, but it is INCREDIBLY difficult to parent a child like this. Other parents with kids like this might need my insights, and I don't plan on labeling her mentally. (although the words "muley" and "knuckleheaded" have come to my mind in association with this child.) I like passionate. I like intense. I do like firecracker too! What about tempestuous? I like the word; it's descriptive, but it sort of seems more emotional, when there;s more to her challenges than just her feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loowit Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I go with intense for my child who sounds similar to yours. He was born intense. It can be positive or negative depending on what he is doing, thinking, saying, acting at any given moment in time. His intensity can serve him well in many respects, but could also be his downfall in others, so in my mind it has neither an innate negative or positive connotation that other descriptors tend to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I'd rather be called passionate than tempestuous. The latter sounds like the attitude is perpetually stormy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 I'd rather be called passionate than tempestuous. The latter sounds like the attitude is perpetually stormy. well....now that you mention it.... ;) Okay. I'll pass on tempestuous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 I like passionate. Or intense. Or strong-willed. Opinionated. Stubborn. Extreme. All of these describe my son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stutterfish Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 What about vivid? Zealous? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 If she were a horse, I'd call her high-strung, fiery, mettlesome or restive. :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 My parents used "determined" when I would hold my breath until I passed out. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northwoodsmama Posted February 23, 2015 Share Posted February 23, 2015 We have always used "passionate" for our DD. she's been our "firecracker" from birth! How about spirited or animated? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Animated is a great one! Animated, passionate, vibrant. We are reading Little Women right now. Maybe "Jo Marchian"? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 What about vivid? Zealous? I have found "the 'more' child" apt for DS ever since I first encountered the phrase: More active, more intense, more exuberant, "just more." I can't remember now where I first heard it; I thought it was a book title, but amazon is coming up empty. I did find the blog below, but I don't think I have encountered it before. http://themorechild.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 Given that she is 16, I wouldn't write at all about her publicly and if I did, I'd run it by her first. So I vote for asking her what term to use, if any. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 Given that she is 16, I wouldn't write at all about her publicly and if I did, I'd run it by her first. So I vote for asking her what term to use, if any. Oh, yes, We've talked about it. I'm being very careful about what is said. I tend to write. Wait a few days, and then reread it with different eyes for that very reason. Im also very careful to share many positives as well. And it's not as much about her specifically as much as it's about the personality type in general. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 So what word did you choose? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 25, 2015 Author Share Posted February 25, 2015 I think I'm going to use INTENSE. I do like the "more" kid. I like having all the options and ideas though. This stuff is going to be more about my mistakes than hers. More of a "here's some common problems. Don't do it the way I did it, because I found that this other way works better." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hellen Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Please link the article when you are finished. I look forward to reading it. I could use some words of wisdom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barnwife Posted February 25, 2015 Share Posted February 25, 2015 Please link the article when you are finished. I look forward to reading it. I could use some words of wisdom. This exactly. I'd love to read it. I have a feeling one of ours is/will be similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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