Elisabet1 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I have this friend who wants me to tutor her children. Problem is, I do tutor math, but really, just home schoolers. The rare public schooler I tutored, they had specific issues, like fractions, and we worked through that. But I have pretty much given up on working with public schoolers because I do not want to try to follow their curriculum. But as for home schoolers, they usually are using a program I am familiar with and I can quickly figure out the weakness and we can work on that. But, with the public schoolers, they are all over the place, they don't have textbooks to even look at what they are doing. Homework assignments are usually online as is the instruction. You have to have passwords to get in and you cannot even see samples of the school work because the child submitted it online and so on. As a result, I have no desire to even get in to that. But this person really wants me to help. I have no clue what my role could or would be. I don't want to come off like I am putting her down or like I am incapable myself. But I do not know what I would even do with no access to texts, or even their assignments to see what they are missing, or working on really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I would tell the parents just what you stated and suggest Khan academy if there are specific issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 "I am sorry, this pregnancy has left me exhausted and I just cannot take on anything at this time. My family must come first" I know that need to help, and the difficulty in saying no...but you need to look after yourself and your family right now:) extending yourself any more is not going to do that! Spend the time, if you can, for a nap, a good book, a movie on the sofa...and refuse to feel guilty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnaj Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I agree with the previous posters. I would let them know that you just cannot take on anymore at this time. Do you have anyone you could refer her to that might be helpful? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saddlemomma Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I have this friend who wants me to tutor her children. Problem is, I do tutor math, but really, just home schoolers. The rare public schooler I tutored, they had specific issues, like fractions, and we worked through that. But I have pretty much given up on working with public schoolers because I do not want to try to follow their curriculum. But as for home schoolers, they usually are using a program I am familiar with and I can quickly figure out the weakness and we can work on that. But, with the public schoolers, they are all over the place, they don't have textbooks to even look at what they are doing. Homework assignments are usually online as is the instruction. You have to have passwords to get in and you cannot even see samples of the school work because the child submitted it online and so on. As a result, I have no desire to even get in to that. But this person really wants me to help. I have no clue what my role could or would be. I don't want to come off like I am putting her down or like I am incapable myself. But I do not know what I would even do with no access to texts, or even their assignments to see what they are missing, or working on really. I would explain the situation to the parent just as you did above. See highlighted areas. Explain that: you don't have the proper materials or experience with their specific curriculum to be able to help them The homeschoolers you currently tutor use a curriculum you are already familiar with Because you are familiar with homeschool curriculum you can quickly analyze and resolve problem areas for homeschoolers #3 would not be possible with ps students due to lack of #5 You would not have access to the lessons, explanations, exercises for ps students which would make your tutoring ineffectual Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I would explain the situation to the parent just as you did above. See highlighted areas. Explain that: you don't have the proper materials or experience with their specific curriculum to be able to help them The homeschoolers you currently tutor use a curriculum you are already familiar with Because you are familiar with homeschool curriculum you can quickly analyze and resolve problem areas for homeschoolers #3 would not be possible with ps students due to lack of #5 You would not have access to the lessons, explanations, exercises for ps students which would make your tutoring ineffectual Although that is a good explanation, I'll bet that the OP's friend will glaze over as she explains, and will still want her to tutor. :glare: The shorter answer, the better. Just say, "I'm so sorry, but I can't take any more students at this time." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie of KY Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I'd stick with a short answer - "no" and skip most of the explanations. If you want to say you're not taking more students, etc, then that is fine. I'd stay away from trying to explain the difficulties of tutoring a public school student. I think the more you try to explain, the more likely you are to just aggravate your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jnaj Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 I would not go into too much detail to be honest. I think a short answer would work in this situation, and if you have any tips on where she can go for tutoring/help then offer that up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBlossom Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Unless you aren't taking any new students at all in the near future, I think some explanation would be helpful. Otherwise, when she realizes you are taking other students, just not her child, she's going to take it personally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purpleowl Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Like DesertBlossom said, I'd offer some explanation unless you can honestly say you're not taking on more students. I would focus on the lack of access to resources and ask if the parent has a way to overcome that challenge for you. I had a student doing a virtual school course who would print out his homework assignments and bring them to our tutoring sessions. I think the access is your main issue - if you can see the child's work, I would think you could figure out where he needs help, even if you're not familiar with the program. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 A lot of posters have said not to give an explanation beyond, "I can't take on any more students right now." Why? Why is that the advice? What if the parent can get those resources for the OP? Then would you (OP) take on the child? I would give a full explanation. I'd distill it down into a small amount of words and give a full honest answer, unless you really don't want to take on another student at all, homeschool or public schooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hunter Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Gaga, sometimes we don't owe people an explanation, especially when they have approached us, rather than us having approached them. Many homeschoolers have experienced being harassed with questions and requests and have taken a hard line about not having to defend their choices. Many of us have experienced situations where every word we say is turned into ammunition that gets aimed right back at us. Or people don't honor our time as our own, and think we should talk to them as long as they want to talk to us, like we are some type of paid representative for a cause. Elisabeth1, if I were to tutor a students with an unknown or crazy curriculum, I would state clearly to the parent that I would not have a goal of helping the student catch up or do better at their school curriculum, but that I would TEACH the SUBJECT the best I knew how. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a student is NOT plan your tutoring around their curriculum. I am a bottom up tutor, maybe too much. It works out as there is another tutor that tutors from the top down of what ever the student is doing in formal classes or what she thinks is "age appropriate". I'm a bit OCD, and the way I tackle tutoring is to lay a foundation and to then lay one piece at a time, working slowly upwards. I often don't let students see the books, but I often start with grade 1 materials. Most of the time, where a student fails is about 3 steps ahead of where the first missing skills and information are. You often need to teach something far more basic than what the student is failing to accomplish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 "Sorry, I prefer not to work with students who use online textbooks as it is very hard for me to assess their progress and meet their needs." Do NOT engage any further. If she insists "I really wish I could, but I know from experience that it just doesn't work, so my answer has to be no." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 "Sorry, I prefer not to work with students who use online textbooks as it is very hard for me to assess their progress and meet their needs." Do NOT engage any further. If she insists "I really wish I could, but I know from experience that it just doesn't work, so my answer has to be no." I'd have the same concerns. You don't want to contradict the materials the child is already using, and there is no way you can become familiar with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 Are they looking for homework help and ways to improve math performance in the classroom, or just recognizing that math has some challenging areas for this child and the child needs some additional instruction and support? You could go one of two ways. Either say, "No, thank you. Working with the public school classrooms is challenging and I prefer not to do so." Or take the student on with the understanding that you are going to meet the student at his or her individual level (as opposed to the level at which the class is working) and will be working on general math concepts and skills, and not doing homework help. Your tutoring will not align with what the student is learning in the classroom, but will benefit the student in the long run because s/he will learn mathematics at her level and pace. The parents would have to commit with the understanding that this is a longer-term instructional focus and they might not see an immediate change in classroom performance. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leav97 Posted November 17, 2014 Share Posted November 17, 2014 /snip Elisabeth1, if I were to tutor a students with an unknown or crazy curriculum, I would state clearly to the parent that I would not have a goal of helping the student catch up or do better at their school curriculum, but that I would TEACH the SUBJECT the best I knew how. Sometimes the best thing you can do for a student is NOT plan your tutoring around their curriculum. /snip :iagree: If they really want tutoring, teach them your preferred math curriculum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 Are they looking for homework help and ways to improve math performance in the classroom, or just recognizing that math has some challenging areas for this child and the child needs some additional instruction and support? You could go one of two ways. Either say, "No, thank you. Working with the public school classrooms is challenging and I prefer not to do so." Or take the student on with the understanding that you are going to meet the student at his or her individual level (as opposed to the level at which the class is working) and will be working on general math concepts and skills, and not doing homework help. Your tutoring will not align with what the student is learning in the classroom, but will benefit the student in the long run because s/he will learn mathematics at her level and pace. The parents would have to commit with the understanding that this is a longer-term instructional focus and they might not see an immediate change in classroom performance. Cat :iagree: if you are looking or open to new students. If not then just say you're too bust right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 You don't even need a reason. She is your friend so I get wanting to explain it. I think what you have said here should be explanation enough. I would have the same reservations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tidbits of Learning Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 You are saying tutor children in the plural sense. With that, I would just say it would be too much and that their curriculum is not easy to tutor at this time. I really wouldn't explain further. I would suggest that this parent contact the children's teachers. I have a kid in school and 3 at home. I know for dd's algebra course that teacher is there 20 minutes before 1st bell every morning to help her students. She also has afterschool tutoring 2x a week for free during certain open hours. So the student really can come as needed. If this is elementary age students, then the parent really needs to set up something with the teacher. Odds are if these are middle/high school students then the teachers have some sort of help set up available. If it is elementary, then I would really just suggest the mom buy whatever my favorite elementary program was and supplement the child's school work at night following the same topic schedule as the school. I would expect any mom to be able to help with elementary math. From the sounds of it, you don't really need to add tutoring at this point at all. But, I would say not to rule out tutoring public school students in the future. I tutor sometimes and also help my daughter with her honors algebra. I have found that home school parents don't want to spend the money on a tutor while public school parents will spend anything to get their kids grades on track. Hence, I would not use I don't tutor public students as my excuse b/c the financial need may be there in the future. And, I would also only tutor at the high school level for public school as it is much easier to tutor by topic using my own texts (doing this right now with dd and Algebra). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted November 18, 2014 Share Posted November 18, 2014 I'd say, 'You know, my tutoring is a specialty area in that I only tutor kids who use XYZ Math as their curriculum. If I were to tutor anyone else, I would have to charge 3X my normal hourly rate to compensate for needing to study an entirely different method. I don't think that that would be a good value, so I turn those students away--chances are they can find someone who uses the same curricula as their schools do. I'm sure you understand.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted November 19, 2014 Share Posted November 19, 2014 Do you charge enough for tutoring that it's worth doing? Does the parent know what the child needs to work on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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