Did your Neuropsych recommend HSing for your 2e student?

[displace]

Personally I'm thinking of HSing vs after school. We suspect a LD in our gifted child who's not succeeding in PS. A couple people have mentioned their NP recommended HSing. I'm wondering how common it is for them to recommend that? Our ed psych from last testing said it "may be a good idea for a year" after I questioned her about it, but her recommendation was for PS gifted program with accommodations if needed. I will need lots of data and research to bring family on board I think, and a super specialist may be just the person if they agree/recommend that.

[OneStepAtATime]

Well, no, but HS is pretty much not even heard of here in the town I live in (South Texas).  There are a couple of small HS co-ops but they are quiet and 99% of the population doesn't even know they exist.  Until we were forced to do something drastic and quickly I really knew nothing about HS.  My pediatrician knew even less and didn't even know if dyslexia or 2e or dysgraphia, etc. even existed.  She usually comes to me, now, for additional information on the learning challenges my kids face as well as info on learning challenges coupled with a higher than average IQ.

 

The evaluator we chose was a great person but she had not been exposed to HS either so it just never got suggested.  When I told the evaluator what we had chosen to do (after accidentally running into an old friend who had started homeschooling) she really had nothing to add because she had no background knowledge.  Most people I told asked if it was even legal.  Which is funny because there are HUGE homeschooling groups in other areas of the State.

[OneStepAtATime]

You might read Homeschooling Your Struggling Learner by Kathy Kuhl.  Not for gifted per se, but it might help anyway.  I've met her.  Really great person who also does consulting for first time homeschoolers with kids that have issues....she might have some really useful suggestions.

[Crimson Wife]

Not a neuropsychologist, but when I had DS evaluated by our family's pediatric neurologist, she said to continue homeschooling if at all possible because it would be extremely difficult to find an appropriate classroom for him. .

[Tokyomarie]

My son had already homeschooled K-8 and was hsing 9th grade when he had his neuropsych evaluation. I had also afterschooled (in Japan) his older sisters and then homeschooled them through to graduation after we moved back to the States.

 

Our neuropsychologist didn't exactly say in so many words that he recommended homeschooling as the best placement. However, he did HIGHLY recommend against placement in a traditional high school if we were to enroll him in school prior to traditional college entry. He gave two particular suggestions for local high school resources if we felt we wanted to move him into school. One was a well regarded non-traditional public high school (an idea I liked but wasn't available because we live in the wrong district) and a public middle college program (which is what we chose after one more year at home).

 

Despite challenges we experienced homeschooling during the elementary and middle school years- let's face it, homeschooling a 2E highly dyslexic & dysgraphic learner is just not a walk in the park- I believe he is where he is today (a 1st year STEM major at university) because of the foundation we built during those years.

[wapiti]

Our neuropsychologist didn't exactly say in so many words that he recommended homeschooling as the best placement. However, he did HIGHLY recommend against placement in a traditional high school

This is a good way to put it. I got the impression that our ed psych was not in favor of homeschooling, or at least that she comes from a school mindset, but she strongly discouraged a traditional classroom setting at a particular school that had a reputation for being too inside-the-box for a 2e kid.

[FairProspects]

Yes, explicitly. However, our neuropsych is also a home educator and parent of 2E children.

[displace]

Yes, explicitly. However, our neuropsych is also a home educator and parent of 2E children.

 

This seems quite telling.  If you are willing, could you PM his/her name?  I would love to see if s/he has published research in this area or even if I could e-mail questions regarding HS with 2E.  If not, that's okay too and I totally understand.  :)

[displace]

Thanks to all so far for your insights and recommendations :)

[PeterPan]

Yes, our neuropsych confirmed that dd would be the type to fall through the cracks and that small groups and homeschooling are where she will do best.  Ditto for college, to look for a small one.

[kbutton]

Our first psych was neutral but thought it was worth a try. We didn't have a definitive diagnosis and were mostly just looking for a ballpark IQ and some tips for parenting. Things heated up, and when we decided to choose a different psych, we were already homeschooling. She has more of a "do what's the best for your family's mental health" kind of philosophy and has a good impression of and admiration for homeschooling. With my son's test results in hand, she said we should keep doing what we're doing academically and even back off academics if therapy needs to take precedence (and it probably will this year and next), so that was really good to hear. Our kids are moderately gifted and tend to gravitate toward non-academic/non-competitive enrichment, so that makes a difference in how we make our decisions.

[clemota]

DS was in 6th grade and diagnosed as being 2e with moderate anxiety and depression.  The psychologist believed that those two elements would be relieved if we started to homeschool.   We would also be able to scaffold his executive functioning issues better.

 

DD12 was tested last year.  The psychologist told me it was a good thing I was homeschooling her as many of her issues would have not been caught at school until she was much older (stealth dyslexia, dysgraphia).  He typically diagnosis kids with stealth dyslexia in high school - usually when they are hitting chemistry and can't differentiate between the -ite and -ide endings of words.

[displace]

Well, my child isn't 2e, but we had an... interesting conversation... with our NP when ds was diagnosed. I'll summarize by saying she was anti-homeschooling and nearly went ballistic when we told her we were likely to continue homeschooling ds. So I'm fairly certain this particular NP would never recommend homeschooling a 2e child... or anyone else, for that matter.

:eek:

 

[Pen]

Not exactly the same, but the head of SPED thought HS would be better because ds's issues included distractibility, for which the calmness of HS would be better. She was not an NP. 

[Pen]

Personally I'm thinking of HS vs after school. We suspect a LD in our gifted child who's not succeeding in PS. A couple people have mentioned their NP recommended HS. I'm wondering how common it is for them to recommend that? Our ed psych from last testing said it "may be a good idea for a year" after I questioned her about it, but her recommendation was for PS gifted program with accommodations if needed. I will need lots of data and research to bring family on board I think, and a super specialist may be just the person if they agree/recommend that.

 

Would your NP help advocate with the gifted program at the school for ds to get the accommodations needed to succeed in that program?

 

The problem to me is that the recommendation in theory sounds great, but the reality is that most people cannot get a child in an excellent gifted program AND also get the needed accommodations in a way that actually helps.

 

Who is "the family" that you are trying to bring on board? 

[EKS]

I voted "other" because we didn't get our son evaluated until after we started homeschooling.  At that point they all said (and he was evaluated several times over the years) to just keep doing what we were doing because it was very obviously working.

 

If I had to choose between homeschooling and afterschooling a 2E kid, I'd choose homeschooling hands down.  School for a 2E kid with unremediated LDs will be much more tiring than school for a NT kid. He/she will need down time after school and on weekends, not more school.

[displace]

I voted "other" because we didn't get our son evaluated until after we started homeschooling. At that point they all said (and he was evaluated several times over the years) to just keep doing what we were doing because it was very obviously working.

 

If I had to choose between homeschooling and afterschooling a 2E kid, I'd choose homeschooling hands down. School for a 2E kid with unremediated LDs will be much more tiring than school for a NT kid. He/she will need down time after school and on weekends, not more school.

That's the concern is all our remediation takes all day after school. We have very little downtime. If this were part of the daily learning it would be much better.

[displace]

Would your NP help advocate with the gifted program at the school for ds to get the accommodations needed to succeed in that program?

 

The problem to me is that the recommendation in theory sounds great, but the reality is that most people cannot get a child in an excellent gifted program AND also get the needed accommodations in a way that actually helps.

 

Who is "the family" that you are trying to bring on board?

Immediate family. Others who disagree with our decisions can live with their disagreement.

 

The prior Ed psych did not find a LD so we're still testing so I can request accommodations. Unfortunately, even with a diagnosis there will likely be little they can/will offer to help, and that's not including the gifted classroom.

[Pen]

So you do not really know if he has an LD, but you do know that he does not seem to be doing well with the PS program.

 

To me it seems like you have already received a reasonable starting point suggestion of  2 options, one or the other of which should be followed while getting more information  and evaluations if you want those. I'd try for a family consensus or democratic majority to choose one or the other of what the prior Ed psych suggested:

 

1) Homeschool for a year: Why not try to get curriculum that you would do at home for a year (or the rest of the year) figured out as much as you can, and give it a try for a year and see what works best--or alternatively what is the least bad option after giving it a try.

 

Or,

 

2) get him back into the gifted program if he is not in it at this moment, and let them teach him as well as they can without doing afterschooling and see what they can do on their own as professional teachers.

 

Those two options sound like the best following of the recommendation that you already have received.

 

Your Ed psych does not seem to have suggested that he go to school in a regular program and then afterschool in a way that is hard for both you and him, which seems to be what you are doing.

 

After you have done either 1 or 2 reassess and see whether it seems to be a good solution to all the decision makers.

 

Either choice will solve this problem: "That's the concern is all our remediation takes all day after school." And he will be able to have a reasonable little kid experience that is not about school all day long.

[PeterPan]

You don't have to have an LD to be SN.  ADHD, for instance, is *not* considered a learning disability.  Affects learning, but isn't an LD.

 

If it was a school psych doing the eval, it wasn't as thorough as what the np will do. 

[displace]

So you do not really know if he has an LD, but you do know that he does not seem to be doing well with the PS program.

 

To me it seems like you have already received a reasonable starting point suggestion of 2 options, one or the other of which should be followed while getting more information and evaluations if you want those. I'd try for a family consensus or democratic majority to choose one or the other of what the prior Ed psych suggested:

 

1) Homeschool for a year: Why not try to get curriculum that you would do at home for a year (or the rest of the year) figured out as much as you can, and give it a try for a year and see what works best--or alternatively what is the least bad option after giving it a try.

 

Or,

 

2) get him back into the gifted program if he is not in it at this moment, and let them teach him as well as they can without doing afterschooling and see what they can do on their own as professional teachers.

 

Those two options sound like the best following of the recommendation that you already have received.

 

Your Ed psych does not seem to have suggested that he go to school in a regular program and then afterschool in a way that is hard for both you and him, which seems to be what you are doing.

 

After you have done either 1 or 2 reassess and see whether it seems to be a good solution to all the decision makers.

 

Either choice will solve this problem: "That's the concern is all our remediation takes all day after school." And he will be able to have a reasonable little kid experience that is not about school all day long.

Yes, no matter what we need to change what we're doing to decrease work for him. If there's a LD, this needs remediation during the school day, either PS or HS, PLUS gifted accommodation. If there is no LD then we need to reevaluate our super competitive school and other options.

 

The private Ed psych basically said for us to continue after schooling, and wait for DS to mature.

 

The neuropsych we're seeing had a pediatric neuropsych fellowship and specifically mentioned experience with stealth dyslexia so I'll hope for the best she can pick up something if it's present.

[Elisabet1]

I voted other because while the Neuropsych did not recommend it...and there have been a variety of doctors, no one "not recommended it." One neuropsych did recommend it. The others didn't not recommend it. Then once I did it a while, they all thought it was the best thing ever because of extreme improvements.

[displace]

I voted other because while the Neuropsych did not recommend it...and there have been a variety of doctors, no one "not recommended it." One neuropsych did recommend it. The others didn't not recommend it. Then once I did it a while, they all thought it was the best thing ever because of extreme improvements.

 

I think it's hard because HS, while growing in numbers, is still not nearly the large amount as PS students.  I doubt many professionals know too many HS personally until they started practicing, and even then it's likely not a large % of their total patients.  I've been keeping a list of "academic" concerns to bring up with the neuropsych and I started adding an "other" column, with amount of time we need to afterschool, the fact we school weekends frequently, etc, so she has a clearer understanding of the craziness of the situation and need to change what we're doing.  I'll also be asking for specific best scenario situations for treatment options so that when we're not offered them by the school but I can do them, we'll have that support too.

 

[PeterPan]

I think it's hard because HS, while growing in numbers, is still not nearly the large amount as PS students.  I doubt many professionals know too many HS personally until they started practicing, and even then it's likely not a large % of their total patients.  I've been keeping a list of "academic" concerns to bring up with the neuropsych and I started adding an "other" column, with amount of time we need to afterschool, the fact we school weekends frequently, etc, so she has a clearer understanding of the craziness of the situation and need to change what we're doing.  I'll also be asking for specific best scenario situations for treatment options so that when we're not offered them by the school but I can do them, we'll have that support too.

 

I'll bet if you ask in your homeschooling community, there are preferred/recommended psychs.  The demographic of people seeing a private neuropsych (or a hospital one, which costs DOUBLE), will be very different from the general population, sorry. These are very expensive evals and you have to pay cash/check.  I'm not meaning to be blunt, but my take is that a LOT of people never get evals beyond what the ps offers for free.  

 

And I would just like to add that I'm very GLAD that people can get evals through the ps and that sometimes they're very good, thorough, and helpful!  :)  I've seen some psych write-ups from the schools that were VERY long, detailed, and informative.

 

I've had NO problem finding practitioners who are familiar with homeschooling.  Actually, our OT home schools and one of the VT docs in our practice home schools.  It's very common in our state.   :D

[displace]

I'll bet if you ask in your homeschooling community, there are preferred/recommended psychs.  The demographic of people seeing a private neuropsych (or a hospital one, which costs DOUBLE), will be very different from the general population, sorry. These are very expensive evals and you have to pay cash/check.  I'm not meaning to be blunt, but my take is that a LOT of people never get evals beyond what the ps offers for free.  

 

 

 

My problem is I'm not in the HS community yet (except here online).  I've tried reaching out some to the HS groups but haven't gotten much response as they don't know me and I don't know them, IYKWIM?  I do plan on just dropping by on some play dates in the area, but I'm more of an e-mail information gatherer. 

 

I have an appt with the NP I've chosen (pre-eval) where I plan on being blunt and discussing treatment options and HS to see if she's approachable.  But I've had trouble just trying to find any neuropsychs honestly.  There are a lot of pseudo-neuropsychs and it's taken me weeks to just feel sort of comfortable with the one I found.  In the meantime PS is continuing and we're reaching a level of stress where we just have to go with this person to test because we need some answers if they can be found. 

 

[PeterPan]

Well it's always comforting when you move to having dates for appointments!  :)

[Lecka]

Please go talk to his teacher and/or counselor and let them know that your son is having a lot of stress and you need help with it.  It may be coming out at home and not school, so they may not be aware.  I think you need to figure out if you can stop this now -- even if you do not all the answers.  

 

I don't know if his stress if more from handwriting where it could be eased by just lowering his handwriting demands, or if it is not a good fit b/c he is more gifted and not engaged (which is very hard on kids, all kids need to be engaged).  

 

But it sounds like it is time, to me, to make the call and say you need an appointment with the counselor to talk about it.  It might actually help!  If not -- it might not be too much of a waste of time.  

 

If you cannot imagine wanting to have a conversation like this with the counselor ----- well, she may be on the 504 or whatever planning committee anyway, if you do go back to school with a NP report asking for 504 accommodations.  You may as well get to know her now.  If it is way beyond your comfort system in a major, extreme way (and I think that is completely legitimate) then I think maybe you could think more about how it is probably pretty likely you are going to homeschool and start to think about withdrawing him on the sooner side.  

 

It is just -- I think it is better if he does not keep having worse and worse times at school, things have a way of getting worse and worse -- 2 weeks could be a lot worse than this week.  (This is "ask me how I know" territory, it may not happen, but it is very possible, too, and the kind of thing where kids have to take time to get over the negative feelings -- better to skip some of the negative feelings in the first place, and not have to try to come in later and change the associations he is forming now about learning and what kind of kid he is.)  

[kbutton]

If I had to choose between homeschooling and afterschooling a 2E kid, I'd choose homeschooling hands down.  School for a 2E kid with unremediated LDs will be much more tiring than school for a NT kid. He/she will need down time after school and on weekends, not more school.

 

I can't agree with this enough. And we don't have any LDs specifically--our issues turned out to be more pervasive and all-encompassing. We hit a wall where our son was barely holding it together during school and flaking out totally at home. Totally checked out. It usually took at least four consecutive days off of school to see a glimmer of the child we knew and one single day of school would take it away again.

[camino]

I have a child who is 2E, gifted plus ADHD, generalized anxiety, and dysgraphia. He was doing pretty well academically at school, even very advanced in some areas, but his behavior was deteriorating and, even worse, he was becoming more and more unhappy. So many signs of extreme stress and even depression. School was a tremendous effort and so hard on his self-esteem. The discrepancy between what he could think in his head and produce on paper continued to grow, as did his awareness of the difference between his writing and that of his peers. At the same time, he wasn't truly challenged or appreciated in the subjects in which he excelled (except for in math, which the school teaches very well). He had an IEP, was in the gifted program at a top public school, had all the support I ever asked for and dreamed of, and genuinely kind and patient teachers... and it just wasn't enough.

 

I finally decided to pull him out this year and I couldn't be more thrilled with the decision. He has transformed in the last couple of months. He is happy, he loves learning, he is thrilled by science, by every classic we read. He is learning at a voracious rate and with real joy. He is an amazing thinker and he is finally being challenged and supported to the extent that he needs. I am so happy we have made this decision and, and seeing how much it has affected him emotionally, I am not sure I would want to ever send him back to the public school! 

 

To respond to your original question, we were advised originally not to homeschool by the neuropsych and therapist. However, when we revisited the subject a few years later, they were extremely supportive.

[mamabear2three]

We had a pediatrician and psych who were neutral/against homeschooling to start and after diagnosis the ped. said that homeschooling was the only thing that saved her grades, and that it is the best possible modification available. The psych, after diagnosis, was very supportive of homeshooling and told us that he would highly recommend that we continue.

[displace]

So the Neuropsych I consulted with today said she didn't recommend HSing because of socialization, and kids learning a lot in school besides academics, blah. Sigh, I feel a little deflated as I was hoping a rec would help all the forces to align for us to HS.

 

She did admit it's basically useless to attempt remediation through PS if a LD is found, and we should go about remediation privately (she thought it would only be a couple of semesters to do outside remediation), and hope we can get some accommodation. Plus gifted accommodation would likely be a fight. She started discussing PS nightmares (not allowing a child to type projects or use dragon speak accommodations, etc).

 

So I will be getting some testing through her, but her recs will be with a grain of salt. I'm going to ask she list schooling best possible practices. Such as teaching X daily, using Y, etc. and when the school won't do that it'll be pretty obvious what's not going to happen. Who knows? Maybe I can convince family prior to that process to try HSing. All I know is I'm not willing to fight for an IEP. Unless there are no other options. Heck, I didn't even fight her mentioning socialization though I could've gone on for a bit about that, and how is his situation good there?

 

I asked if there's really no use for PS, what was the choice? Private school was her reply. But I'm sorry. We don't have a 2e school nearby. Also there's no guarantee they would do well. Plus it would mean me going back to work. No way! I would do anything necessary for DS, including going back to work, but I don't see how it would help if it were just a regular private school.

 

Sigh, again.

[OneStepAtATime]

Well THAT must have been overwhelmingly disappointing!  But not entirely unexpected.  I was an ignorant human being with all kinds of goofy notions about Homeschooling too, once upon a time.  But that is seriously unfortunate for your situation with the family.  Would anyone be amenable to reading some books on homeschooling?  Or if you were to read one or two of these, that might give you more solid info to pass to your family (and maybe even the np)....

 

Maybe:

How to Homeschool Your Struggling Learner by Kathy Kuhl

The First Year of Homeschooling:  The Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start by Linda Dobson

The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling

The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling and The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling Teens by Debra Bell

How to Homeschool Your Learning Abled Kid by Sandra Cook (posts on this board)

Making the Choice: When Typical School Doesn't Fit Your Atypical Child (Perspectives in Gifted Homeschooling)

 

I have not read all of the above but they are on a list of books I have either read or were recommended to me and I have not yet gotten around to.

 

Good luck and best wishes...

[displace]

Ppfffffttt.... as if homeschooled kids get no socialization. (Rolling my eyes). This argument is as old and tired as the day is long.

:). Thanks for your post. It made me smile. I'm going to play up the fact she said PS are worthless for remediation, and how often even basic accommodations are rejected.

[displace]

Well THAT must have been overwhelmingly disappointing! But not entirely unexpected. I was an ignorant human being with all kinds of goofy notions about Homeschooling too, once upon a time. But that is seriously unfortunate for your situation with the family. Would anyone be amenable to reading some books on homeschooling? Or if you were to read one or two of these, that might give you more solid info to pass to your family (and maybe even the np)....

 

Maybe:

How to Homeschool Your Struggling Learner by Kathy Kuhl

The First Year of Homeschooling: The Complete Guide to Getting Off to the Right Start by Linda Dobson

The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling

The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling and The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling Teens by Debra Bell

How to Homeschool Your Learning Abled Kid by Sandra Cook (posts on this board)

Making the Choice: When Typical School Doesn't Fit Your Atypical Child (Perspectives in Gifted Homeschooling)

 

I have not read all of the above but they are on a list of books I have either read or were recommended to me and I have not yet gotten around to.

 

Good luck and best wishes...

Thanks for the list. I own one book, have several more on order, and need to read them myself. I have been printing and highlighting many articles regarding 2e, LD, common core standards and LD, HSing benefits from neutral sources. I'm laying a path of crumbs. I refuse to study IEPs and how to do them but may print off the 250 page book the state publishes to inform families of the process and tell them to read it so they can fight the fight.

 

I'm going to focus now on more research of anxiety and depression rates in LD, HSing from HSing sources, and top it off with lists from here of benefits for HSing with 2e, how many NP recommend HSing, etc. and probably I'll just have to put my foot down. As the after schooler, I'm not able/willing to do this much more. And I'm afraid DS is just going to fail when I stop. I'm currently taking a break as we both need a mental vacation. I gave DS some K'nex and we've been making stuff. I didn't think they'd be such a big hit but wow, fun!

[Laura Corin]

Not as such.  The educational psychologist who did the IQ testing for Calvin gave it as one option, along with serious accommodations if he stayed in school; the OT talked about needing to address both sides of him (gifts and LD) and the school's gifted/LD counsellor told us in confidence that his giftedness would not be addressed at the school.  At the next school (Montessori) his teacher recommended home education (and said that he - the teacher - would HE if he could afford it).

 

Hobbes' speech therapist (for stuttering) said that she had never met a stuttering child with as much confidence as Hobbes had (at age 8).  She said that it was probably because he had never been to school.  That confidence carried through when he started school at age 10.

 

L

 

 

[displace]

Not as such.  The educational psychologist who did the IQ testing for Calvin gave it as one option, along with serious accommodations if he stayed in school; the OT talked about needing to address both sides of him (gifts and LD) and the school's gifted/LD counsellor told us in confidence that his giftedness would not be addressed at the school.  At the next school (Montessori) his teacher recommended home education (and said that he - the teacher - would HE if he could afford it).

 

Hobbes' speech therapist (for stuttering) said that she had never met a stuttering child with as much confidence as Hobbes had (at age 8).  She said that it was probably because he had never been to school.  That confidence carried through when he started school at age 10.

 

L

 

Thanks for your post.  This is my thought.  Ok, maybe PS are awesome and a great thing and a perfect fit for DS "socially" or academically or whatever.  But until he gets to a point where he is independent in his reading, writing, learning, there is no way IMO a PS would be excellent.  It would be a daily struggle I think.  And he'd definitely fail.  How is that helpful for a gifted kid to fail?

[Laura Corin]

Thanks for your post.  This is my thought.  Ok, maybe PS are awesome and a great thing and a perfect fit for DS "socially" or academically or whatever.  But until he gets to a point where he is independent in his reading, writing, learning, there is no way IMO a PS would be excellent.  It would be a daily struggle I think.  And he'd definitely fail.  How is that helpful for a gifted kid to fail?

 

Well..... it is useful for gifted children to learn to fail.  Otherwise they often don't try hard things because they don't get the practice at failure.  But.... failure because of interference from an LD is not the same thing.  Failing to be able to handwrite would not have taught Calvin anything about intellectual failure and resilience.

 

L

[displace]

Well..... it is useful for gifted children to learn to fail.  Otherwise they often don't try hard things because they don't get the practice at failure.  But.... failure because of interference from an LD is not the same thing.  Failing to be able to handwrite would not have taught Calvin anything about intellectual failure and resilience.

 

L

 

Right, good point.  I guess I meant fail out of school.  The only reason DS passed K was because of all my intensive intervention last year, and if I stop now I doubt there's any way he'll magically pass. 

 

[Heathermomster]

So the Neuropsych I consulted with today said she didn't recommend HSing because of socialization, and kids learning a lot in school besides academics, blah. Sigh, I feel a little deflated as I was hoping a rec would help all the forces to align for us to HS.

 

She did admit it's basically useless to attempt remediation through PS if a LD is found, and we should go about remediation privately (she thought it would only be a couple of semesters to do outside remediation), and hope we can get some accommodation. Plus gifted accommodation would likely be a fight. She started discussing PS nightmares (not allowing a child to type projects or use dragon speak accommodations, etc).

 

So I will be getting some testing through her, but her recs will be with a grain of salt. I'm going to ask she list schooling best possible practices. Such as teaching X daily, using Y, etc. and when the school won't do that it'll be pretty obvious what's not going to happen. Who knows? Maybe I can convince family prior to that process to try HSing. All I know is I'm not willing to fight for an IEP. Unless there are no other options. Heck, I didn't even fight her mentioning socialization though I could've gone on for a bit about that, and how is his situation good there?

 

I asked if there's really no use for PS, what was the choice? Private school was her reply. But I'm sorry. We don't have a 2e school nearby. Also there's no guarantee they would do well. Plus it would mean me going back to work. No way! I would do anything necessary for DS, including going back to work, but I don't see how it would help if it were just a regular private school.

 

Sigh, again.

I suggest you read books by the Eides because they have a wonderful way of explaining why these children need our supports.  The Eides are brain scientists with imaging studies to back up their assertions.  

 

My DS has seen three NPs at ages 8, 11, and 14 yo.

 

When DS was seen the first time, he was receiving reading remediation from a certified Wilson reading specialist through the school.  No rec for homeschooling was made.  NP#1 suggested DS attend the local dyslexia school.  For many reasons, we did not pursue that route.

 

DS took SAT-10 tests third and fourth grades.  I grew peeved and pulled him 5th grade.  We hired the Wilson tutor and DS continued to work with her.  DS took the SAT-10 through our homeschool cover and son's SAT-10 scores shot up.  DS made huge leaps and everyone was surprised, including the Wilson tutor who felt that DS needed to be in the classroom.

 

DS tried school again in 6th grade, and his SAT-10 scores dropped.  DS was retested by NP#2.  She basically stated that son's school was full of idiots and to get him out of there.  We pulled him.

 

NP#3 does not support homeschooling either; however, son's standardized test scores do not plumb the depths of his measured, tested, and verified learning issues.   DS takes classes outside our home and enjoys a rich friend/family life.  NP#3 even went so far as to say that DS was accommodated exactly as he ought, and I could tell that she'd never met anyone quite like us.

 

You can't please everyone and you have to deal with the child in front of you.  Homeschooling is not a forever decision either.  Honey, I've experienced protracted illness and death of a loved one, bathroom flood, car wreck, and three surgeries with DD over the last 2.5 years of homeschooling.  Last year, DH took a 20% salary cut due to sequestration.  Sometimes, life throws curve balls and you just don't know whether you can home educate.  Make the decision to homeschool on a yearly basis.

 

I'm going to say something that may not sound very nice.  Not all homeschoolers are the same and certain home educators hurt our image.  I'm certain that the second NP recommended homeschooling because I demonstrated a willingness to hire the O-G.  DH and I have been married a long time and we hold science degrees.  It was very clear from the outset that we would do what needed to be done and homeschooling has worked so far.

 

NPs meet families who do not see LDs as a big deal. The DH will refuse to pay for the services that the student may need or not want to send their child to a psychiatrist/shrink when we are talking NP services.  That's fine for those families, but I don't think NP's respect parents like that. 

 

It would be awesome if you could find a NP that loved homeschooling, but that would be a rare NP.  Your DS has been in the PS system and things are not panning out.  Strangely, this is a good predicament for you because many times NPs will blame the homeschooling parent for a child's inability to read or write or whatever.  That is not your case at all.  The PS is actually forcing your hand to homeschool because the system is ill prepared to deal with your precious son.  

[Lecka]

A lot of my son's school is time where they are doing an activity (an activity, not filling out a worksheet).  A lot of time is spent with the teacher presenting something (a lesson, a book) and then they talk about it.  My son has always learned very, very well in those ways.  

 

In 1st grade when he was behind, his school day was not about reading and filling out papers.  

 

Kindergarten was also very hands-on and with a lot of circle times and activities.  He did good at those parts of Kindergarten.  He did really bad in the more academic moments, but Kindergarten here focuses on social/emotional and a lot of games, and he did good with all of that.  

 

I think without those things -- it would be different.  But he has learned in school, really learned things, in ways that connect with him.  Reading/writing never prevented him from learning from all the other things going on.  

 

If there is truly nothing good about the public school experience, if it is so focused on, well, it sounds like worksheets and an absence of teaching or activities, or rich experiences, then I don't think that sounds good at all.  It may also be -- that the experiences are rich to children who are at a different level, but are just too boring or obvious to be at all engaging or stimulating to him.  

 

I am just sharing reasons I thought school was a good experience for my son even while he was not at grade level in reading.  In 1st grade -- he went to reading pull out for reading.  The rest of the school day -- I don't think they were expecting kids to read at grade level in order to participate in the classroom experience.  B/c he did good.  He did good in math.  Their math is very oral and they do a lot of solving problems together on the board, or they play games with math manipulatives.  It was good stuff for my son -- he was not expected to read word problems in 1st grade, so it was not an issue.  

 

I really think he is in a good school.  Once we found out about the handwriting thing, teachers have been great to him.  They are all very "first do no harm" and do not want to criticize him, they are very positive and tell him he has good ideas and things like that.  Last year at the Spring parent-teacher conference, his teacher told me she liked having him in her class b/c he was kind, and would show concern to his classmates, and always try to help them if they had a problem.  It meant a lot to me.  I also think it is wonderful that he has the chance to be kind to others and to be recognized by his teacher for his kindness.  I am not sure he would get the same opportunities in the same way -- though he is also nice to his brother and sister and I tell him I appreciate it.  But it is great to know he is that way in school and that his teacher noticed.  I think they are looking for the good in every student, they do not only value academics.  

 

But overall -- a combination of him having an interest in engagement with a lot of things they do in school, and the school curriculum not expecting kids to already be reading and writing at grade level at such a young age.  I am aware that there were some kids who were doing more writing than he did, in different reading groups, and sometimes my son might have drawn a picture while another child chose to write something, in 1st grade, but it was never shutting out kids who couldn't read and write, from the rest of the day.  But 1st grade is still "learning to read" here.  In 2nd grade they are adding more reading and writing, and it keeps going up every year.   

 

Another thing -- my son has always been recognized as being competent or smart (or whatever word) based on his class participation, since 1st grade.  In K his speech issues were interfering with that.  In 1st grade his speech was a lot better, and his 1st grade teacher thought he was smart and knowledgeable based on how he could answer questions or make comments in class, about things she would present.  He got good feedback from the teacher that way and felt good about how he was doing, and he did learn things, he could tell me things he was learning in school or tell me something interesting, things like that.  

 

So -- I feel like, we did the difficulty of after-school remediation (though truly the most was accomplished in the summers, and I did a lot with his those two summers), and I agree totally with the comments others are making about how kids are tired after school, and they miss out on time doing other things, things that would be really good for them in so many ways.  But -- I feel like the good experiences of school were so good, I wanted him to attend for those reasons.  It seemed like there would be so many things he would miss out on, that his school did so well.  I also think they implement their math program very well, and it would be hard for me to do all the math games and manipulatives on top of the reading remediation.  Also there are personal issues -- I have two younger children, and I liked to focus on meeting their needs earlier in the day, then I felt like I could really focus on my son after school, without short-changing anyone.  My younger son also has special needs (though I did not know it until my older son was in 2nd grade).  So -- I am not making decisions based on what is going to provide the best education for this child.  I just want him to have a good experience at school.  I think the school curriculum is very adequate for him -- I am not interested in having him do more, besides just with reading aloud and stuff like that, that I would do anyway.  

 

I also did not even know about OT while I was focused on reading remediation.  Until 2nd grade, it was all speech therapy and reading remediation.  Then in the second half of 2nd grade -- it was OT and reading practice.  I was never trying to do OT, speech therapy, and reading remediation all at the same time.  It would be.... quite a bit more difficult and stressful, I think.  It worked out to be much more staggered, since I didn't know about the OT until later.  It might have changed the balance from thinking public school was still something I wanted for him, to making me change my priorities about how much could be done and sacrificed in the after-school hours, for the sake of going to public school.  But for me -- he was learning and engaged in school!  

[PeterPan]

I'm jumping in here late, but why in the WORLD are you sticking with this woman for the evals???  Not a good working relationship, not helpful for recommends...  Did she come highly recommended by someone?  You seem to have a lot of negatives on the list.

 

Better to take 3-6 months and find a better psych, get thorough evals and better info on what to do with it.  There ARE better psychs out there, mercy.  Better to lose $300 or whatever you paid than to waste $2K.

 

Btw, the psych eval I had for dd was a very EMPOWERING experience.  I think you're dramatically UNDERESTIMATING how much you're getting jipped if you stay with some idiot who has no experience giving good advice on these topics.