Tell me about your kids' shared rooms

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Hi all!

We are expecting baby 4 to arrive this summer- our apartment is 3br.  Currently, my two girls share a room with absolutely no friction, but I'm afraid that when dd2yo get bumped out of the position of "baby of the family" and the big kids start thinking of her as a regular kid, she won't get so many free passes.  :-)  DS will be sharing his room with SOMEONE, but I'm having a hard time figuring out who.

 

Oh, and baby 4 is a surprise- won't know if it's a boy or girl until baby's born. 

 

The most sensible thing for me, logistically is to put the two biggest together and the two smallest together.  However, the big kids would really like to each "have their own baby" which is adorable, but less practical. 

 

I'm also considering the idea of a room rotation- changing roommates every x months until they are much older and maybe have some personality preferences for what works best, or if the new one is a boy, we would go to a boy's room and a girl's room.

 

So, how do shared bedrooms work in your family?  A friend even suggested having one sleeping room and one play room, but I'm thinking that would just cause all the kids to gradually get bedtimes pushed back to the oldest ds's bedtime, which I don't want.

 

Tips? 

[SKL]

The baby with older sibling worked well for our family (my siblings and I).  It really depends on the personalities and interests of the individual kids, though.  Eventually you'll want them in with their own gender, but that can wait until the youngers are maybe 7ish.

 

(I only have two girls, almost the same age.  They do share wonderfully.  They know nothing else.)

[justamouse]

The biggest thing I've found to make the whole process easy is to always make sure that they know that keeping the room clean is a kindness and politeness to the others that live in it. Charity starts in the home, you know? 

It's not fair for the messy person to control everyone's environment with their tornados. 

While they were small-all under 5-I had them all in one large room and we called it The Dorm. That was much easier at the time. Lots of bins, baskets of toys, it was easy to clean, easy to maintain as far as bedding/baths/clothes and it contained all of their mess to that one room. 

[Ali in OR]

I would say that since your oldest is a boy, he gets the baby no matter what gender. No need to disrupt what's working with the other two. Then you may need to rethink things in a few years if baby is a girl. But for the given ages and his interest in "having his own baby", that's the way I would go. My youngest two were in our room for the first 7-9 months or so before moving out. When my youngest was moved to her 3 yo sister's room they were both so happy! Been sharing ever since.

[lorisuewho]

I have the obvious division of having two boys and then two girls. However, what works best here is flexibility. We have the boys room set up with a set of twin bunks and a trundle underneath as an extra bed. The girls room has a full size bed with a twin bunk on top. This gives us loads of flexibility on how people sleep at night. They often change beds and places from night to night. Which is fine, as long as it is all kept tidy.

[Slache]

We had to put our baby in with our 2 1/2 year old. A wasn't happy about it, but we really didn't want to pay more rent for another bedroom. Now, however, I'm thrilled with the results. They are madly in love with each other. We can't meet anyone new without him telling them how cute she is and his name was her first word. They're always cuddling.  :001_wub:  I will never forget watching them throw her blanket back and forth between their beds, listening to him sing her to sleep, or that every night during bedtime prayers he thanks God for her.

 

A year ago I would have said put the baby in with the 7 year old, but now I vote to put the youngest ones together.

[Desert Strawberry]

I have all 4 in one room. It's a very small room. They have beds and clothes only. The toys are in another room. 

We have a triple bunk arrangement, plus a toddler bed (actually just a mattress, but someday my dh promises he will build a real bed. I hope before Taurus outgrows it).

 

At their ages, I would let them each have their own baby, if that works for you. (My babies stay in my room for at least a year.) You can change later.

We started out with everyone in one room, then moved the older two to their own room. Aries needed more supervision, so he moved back to the nursery. This winter, we moved Sagg back in ,too, for practical reasons, and because I missed having him close, and didn't like him being alone. He says he'd like to move back when it's possible. I'm thinking of maybe a part time kind of thing. We will see.

[Carrie12345]

My oldest three shared in our 2 bedroom apartment, then we moved and had a boys' room and girls' room.

Oldest ds was 9 when second ds was born, so about 10 when he moved in.  They were 12 and 3 when the next ds was born, 13/4 when he moved in.  They have a giant bunk bed with trundle, the two lower beds for the little boys and top bunk for the teenager.

[Upward Journey]

As you can see we've had many different combinations over the years. We've never had more than 3 bedrooms total. We kept them all together until #4 was born, and only moved oldest into our "office" at age 10 because that's how the beds & crib worked/fit. I didn't really worry about gender until they were teens. None seem to be the worse for wear from having to always share a bedroom :) When there was an older with a later bedtime, olders' bedtime routine (reading time or whatever) took place outside of the bedroom.

 

6yo boy + new baby sister together

8yo boy, 2yo sister + new baby sister all together

4yo + 2yo (girls) & new baby brother together, oldest 10yo boy in own room

Girls (7 & 5) + new baby brother in one room, 13yo + 3yo brother in the other room

Girls room (8 & 6), Boys room (14, 4, 1)

 

Moved and living with relatives ~ all youngers in one room (12, 10, 8, 5) so mixed gender ~ oldest (18) has own room i.e. sleeping in office

 

Own house again, but this time I put my messies in one room (their choice) ~ oldest is gone and married :)

11yo girl + 9yo boy together, 13yo girl + 6 yo boy together

 

Moved again, currently

Girls room (16 & 14) Boys room (12 & 9)

[Hypatia.]

We started out with DS1 in his own room, then DD1 and DD2 shared a room after DD2 was born (they are 2 years apart).  When #4 turned out to be a boy he moved into the room with DS1 when he was no longer sleeping with me.  DS1 was thrilled to finally get a roommate!  #5 turned out to be another boy so he'll also go into the boys' room at some point.  

 

Right now we have a set of bunk beds and DD2 and DS2 are using them apart as twin beds until the little boys are old enough for bunk beds.  It sounded like a good idea at the time but sheesh, I have no idea how long that will actually be.  DS2 and DS3 may share the twin bed for a little while, I'm not sure yet.  

 

Figuring out sleeping space isn't that bad but the closets are absolute chaos.  

[momto10blessings]

I would say that since your oldest is a boy, he gets the baby no matter what gender. No need to disrupt what's working with the other two. Then you may need to rethink things in a few years if baby is a girl. But for the given ages and his interest in "having his own baby", that's the way I would go. My youngest two were in our room for the first 7-9 months or so before moving out. When my youngest was moved to her 3 yo sister's room they were both so happy! Been sharing ever since.

This is what I would do

[GSOchristie]

This is my dream for my kids, all in one room and then the other room for something else :).

 

We have the boys sharing and P all by herself.  Sometimes I think it would work better for J and P to share, but I don't want them to sleep together (no sleeping would actually happen), and we only have big beds.  If you have another boy, I would split by gender.

[Excelsior! Academy]

We have all of our children sharing with at least one other child.  What works best for us is an older with a younger.  Ours are split 17 and 3yo (by request of the 17yo), 14 and 6yo together, 12, 10, and 5yo together.  Then the boys (7 and 9) share.  We tried to have a nursery with the younger girls, but they did not do well together.  The older girls like sharing with a younger child.  They get to set the rules of the room.  We tier bedtimes depending on age, so each room has a younger child put to bed before the older children go to bed.  It really cuts down on silliness and misbehavior.  In your situation I would have the girls share and the oldest share with the baby.  If you have another girl, I assume your son will get his own room eventually, he can share now.  It builds character.  :)

[NASDAQ]

All my kids are in one room. There are four. They prefer it that way. Sometimes I put the baby in a pack-n-play in the living room though.

[fdrinca]

 

While they were small-all under 5-I had them all in one large room and we called it The Dorm. That was much easier at the time. Lots of bins, baskets of toys, it was easy to clean, easy to maintain as far as bedding/baths/clothes and it contained all of their mess to that one room. 

 

We do this now, for our 4 kids all under 6 years old. Its our plan to keep them all in one room until someone feels uncomfortable. (That sounds much harsher than it is...) I really like this solution because it means that we have more space for living. Then again, our kids aren't the types to retreat into their own private spaces. We also keep no toys in their bedroom.

[abba12]

For us, bedrooms are just for sleeping and certain alone times, toys are kept elsewhere and the rooms are not often used during the day. 

 

Baby stays in my room for the first 6 months, and we have a cot in the library across the hall as a nursery, so we don't actually combine until the baby stops being the baby.

 

In your situation, I would put baby in with your oldest son, and then consider the arrangement again in a few years when the baby is a little older.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

These are all wonderful tips, thank you!  I would have no problems putting the baby in with my ds, except that he specifically wants the 2yo.  She truly is the apple of everyone's eye! 

 

The new baby will be in with us probably for 4-6 months, depending on how much night parenting I need to do, then will move to a bedroom. 

 

Knowing that so many different age/stage mix-ups have worked out for everyone is great.  :-)  I may very well draw names out of a hat every 4-5 months for a while to try out all the combos. 

[Jerico]

I only have boys so they are all in one room.

I'd put the baby in with your oldest. Seems like the girls are doing just fine. The baby will have an erractic sleep schedule, but the eldest may be able to adjust to it better, especially because he goes to bed later. I can't see the ages of your kids but i was always weary of two littles together. You can always change things if they aren't working out later.

[fairfarmhand]

My 16 yo dd shares with my 8 yo dd and has since my youngest was born.

 

My 12 yo dd shares with her 6 yo brother. The reason it worked out that way was that my 12 yo was the soundest sleeper and not bothered by a baby's night rousings. I've offered to let her switch and share with her oldest sister, but she'd rather live with her brother than her big bossy sis.

 

Keep in mind that certain personalities just mesh better than others. ALso, be flexible and willing to try something for awhile.

[Maela]

I think the idea of each older having a "baby" is so sweet!

 

I only have two kids, so probably not much help.  We have a bedroom and a playroom.  They both play with all of the toys we have, so it's nice keeping them all in one room.  I like not having the toys in the bedroom.  

 

Also Ds and Dd refuse to be separated (right now), and I am fine with that for as long as they want.  

[Wilma]

I have 4 kids. We have 3 bedrooms. When Kid3 was born, she had her own room while the older two slept in the other kid room. When Kid4 was born, she had the baby room until she was a viable roommate (1 year or so) while the other 3 kids slept in the other kid room.

 

Now Kids 1 and 3 sleep in one room, and Kids 2 and 4 are in the other. We split that way because neither of the little gals are qualified to sleep top-bunk yet, and the bunk beds are what makes the two kids to a room not feel crammy.

 

Eventually we'll probably switch to a big kid room and a little kid room, but then again, maybe not. Another option for us is to put the two tidy kids together (that's Kid 1 and Kid 4) and the two messys together (2 and 3).

[Heidi]

I have all five big kids in one room and the baby (who wakes and cries still) in his own room until he starts sleeping mostly through the night.

Regarding bedtimes, I put the 2 & 4 year olds to bed at 8pm, and the 5, 8, & 9 year olds to bed at 9pm. Eventually I will divide the kids into two rooms, but haven't decided whether to do it by age or gender next.

[Tammyla]

  I wouldn't make any promises or decisions until you are ready to transition the baby into the other bedroom.  Your current children will be almost a year older by then.

 

If you have another boy...I would do a boys room and a girls room to make things easier for the future. 

 

Congratulations btw.

These are all wonderful tips, thank you!  I would have no problems putting the baby in with my ds, except that he specifically wants the 2yo.  She truly is the apple of everyone's eye! 

 

The new baby will be in with us probably for 4-6 months, depending on how much night parenting I need to do, then will move to a bedroom. 

 

Knowing that so many different age/stage mix-ups have worked out for everyone is great.  :-)  I may very well draw names out of a hat every 4-5 months for a while to try out all the combos. 

 

[Jennifer132]

We have four too. The oldest is a boy and he has his own room. The other three are girls, and all would like to share together, but like you said, then they'd all have to have the same bedtime. So, the two that still nap and who go to bed earlier share, and the other girl has her own room. Maybe when they are older we will switch it up so all three can share.