Should I keep doing a read-aloud?

[Milknhoney]

My son is 9 and this school year, he has been bored with every book we've done for a read-aloud. We've read The Castle of Llyr (after loving the first two), Treasure Island, and part of War of the Worlds (he he begged to read it after the WWE lesson on it; I agreed to drop it 1/3 of the way through since it is written on an adult level). Yesterday I started Number the Stars. He used to LOVE "story time". It was his favorite part of school. Now he just approaches it with whining and groaning. I'm torn. I am a strong believer in the benefits of being read aloud to. But if he is bored with it, is that canceling out the benefits? I could sure use the extra time in the day to get our other work done if I drop it. But I can't let go of the idea that we would be losing something important.

 

Thoughts?

[Chris in VA]

Mine started giving up read alouds around 9 in fourth grade. Broke my heart. It seems young to me.  

 

Actually, she gave them up because she could read faster silently and didn't want to wait for the story, so she didn't miss any good books, I just didn't get to share in them like before. 

 

I think you could do one of two things (and of course others but these are my ideas...)-- either continue with better books, or hand him the books you want him to cover and tell him to read them. 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

If he is dragging his feat and unhappy then he is probably not retaining much anyway, and it certainly doesn't sound like great bonding time at the moment.  He may just need to feel some independence right now.  It doesn't mean he won't want to return to read alouds in the future.  For a while my DD really fought me on this, so I backed off.  Eventually she started asking for them again and we both enjoy them now (she is 13).  If you want him exposed to richer material that is above reading level, and you have a Kindle, you might look at Immersion Reading so he can read independently but the software will read aloud with him so he isn't fumbling over vocabulary that is too advanced.

[4KookieKids]

Have you read the Read Aloud Handbook? They have some tips for dealing with this sort of behavior. The author talks about his kids when they were teens and how to draw them in so that it still grabs their attention.

[KristenR]

As my kids are young, I haven't experienced a non-interest in read alouds yet.  I really really hope to continue it as long as possible so I don't know what to do if I experience what you are... but maybe you can switch around read aloud.  Do it at a time when he is occupied anyway... I have a friend who reads to her teen age sons while they eat.  Breakfast time, snack time, and lunch time.  She'll read a chapter or so.  Now this does mean she has to eat her own breakfast and lunches before or after them but she says its worth the inconvenience because they listen to her without complaint while they are stuffing their faces.  LOL

 

Maybe trying to incorporate read aloud time more into their day instead of making it it's own thing would be worth a shot before you quit it completely.

 

[EmilyGF]

My daughter, 7, doesn't like read alouds unless I let her look over my shoulder and read on. I think she has a really hard time with only-oral inputs. Also, she is an awesome reader who struggles with very little, so she doesn't "gain" much, in her view, from having me read aloud. My older son, however, loves them.

 

Emily

[Farrar]

My boys are in 4th grade.  Read aloud time has definitely been changing a little.  It's interesting.  We still need them - they're not fast readers and they enjoy stories, so we really need to keep doing them whereas some families give them up at this age because the child is tearing through anything and everything and prefer to read independently.  However, we have been alternating.  We don't read every night.  We take breaks in between books.  It's just been a different mindset.

 

I wouldn't want to give up on every book you've been reading...  but it's definitely okay to give up on one sometimes.  Not every kid has to enjoy every good book.  Do you involve him in the book choosing process?

[Ecclecticmum]

Do you know what part of it that is making him turn away?

 

I know my husband & I's reading voices differ greatly, consequently my kids don't want him reading certain books, and certain books they have banned me from reading because its "daddys" book. My husband has a great bedtime reading voice, because its soft, mostly monotone and soothing. My voice can vary (I was a casual voice actress long ago lol) but sometimes I read to my husband in bed when he's having trouble sleeping, as my reading voice with him is soothing. Whereas with the kids (depending upon the book) I get more into it, waving my arms, using accents/voices, really getting into it, so they love the drama from that.

 

Once a child gets to a certain point, being read to by mum can become a boring, embarassing experience (which makes no sense, but never-the-less)

 

There three things that could improve it. Improving your reading voice to carry more of the emotion behind the book, letting him choose all or the ocassional read aloud, or transferring to audio books that he can listen to in his own time and it becomes an assignment where he has to narrate (allowing him to choose what type of narration) back to you by a certain date.

 

It all really depends on what the reason is behind him starting to not enjoy it.

 

HTH xxx

[stripe]

I also think the problem may be the books. My kids enjoy being read aloud certain books, but tune out others.

 

We have also tried to establish a plan where we all read (to ourselves) the same book, sort of like a book club. 

[SebastianCat]

Andrew Pudewa from IEW gives a seminar titled "Nurturing Competent Communicators" in which he says that reading aloud is the single best thing you can do to develop your children's writing skills, and that the auditory input develops writing syntax better than letting children read by themselves.   That seminar convinced me not to give up read alouds with my kids, who at times could take it or leave it.

 

We have relaxed our read alouds over the past several years, however.   I no longer maintain a strict schedule like I did in the past, and while I aim to read a chapter each day, if we are running out of time or the kids are totally bored, I will stop mid-chapter and pick it up the next day.   Sometimes the key is to stop at a critical point, leaving the question of "what will happen next?" hanging so they look forward to the next chapter or section.    

 

I would agree with others that part of the issue might be the books themselves, or perhaps the reading level.   I'd probably try switching to a "lighter" fare for a book or two, then mixing in more fun reads with the heavier ones.

 

I second the suggestion of audio books as well.   Our public library has a great selection of audio books available to download (some to MP3 player or iPod, some allow additional burning to CD) that my kids LOVE to listen to.

[Milknhoney]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think there are two main reasons why he doesn't like read-alouds anymore. One is that I save it for the end of our school time. It is supposed to be a reward for having finished our work, but instead I think it has become torture for him to be made to sit still when all he wants to do is be free. So maybe moving it to another time would help, but I have to go to work right after we finish our school work, so that makes it hard to be flexible. The other reason is that he lacks the patience to sit through "boring" plot and character development. He just wants the action. When we read Treasure Island, he had already read a storybook version and was familiar with the basic outline of the story. So he ended up being frustrated with how long it took to get through the whole story when the version he had read gets through the whole thing in just a few pages. And with War of the Worlds, he wasn't bothered by it being so advanced I had to explain everything to him, he just got tired of all the chapters describing how the people were reacting. He wanted to hurry and get to the next alien attack. The ironic thing is that he sat all the way through The Wind in the Willows in raptures two years ago. And that book rates really high on the "boring" scale as far as I'm concerned. Also he is an excellent reader on his own and doesn't often complain about boring with books he is reading himself. So I do wonder if, even though he hasn't verbalized it this way, he is bored with how long it takes to read it out loud vs. to himself. The suggestion that he is embarrassed to be read aloud to is also a possibility but he doesn't have any problem joining us when I'm reading a kiddy book to his 4yo sister, which you would think would be even more embarrassing.

 

I do give him some input on what we read, but not total control. Actually, Number the Stars is the first one he didn't choose this year, but since the reading level is so much lower than the last two we did I thought it would be an improvement. Oh well.

 

I'm almost convinced to just give it up except for that reminder of what it is doing for them. I still remember one time in high school, my AP English teacher went around the room and asked us if we were read aloud to when we were younger. Then she nodded and said she asks her students that question every year, and she had observed that the ones who said yes were always better writers.

[Milknhoney]

After thinking about it some more I am also wondering how much of my problem could be due to the damages of modern media. Why sit through a long book when you can watch an action-packed movie? We let our kids watch one movie a day. I know that is a lot less screen time than most kids get, but is it still too much?

 

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

[NancyNellen]

I have been reading aloud to my children 1-2 hours every day since my oldest was pre-school age. That would be about 13 years. It has definitely not been smooth sailing all those years: there have surely been times when the kids whined, complained, or otherwise raised a fuss about it. (Not all at the same time, thankfully!) But I am glad we stuck with it. It is usually a beloved part of our days for all five kids.

 

I have learned some important things that work and do not work for our family through the years. First off, we read right after breakfast. I have absolutely, positively NOTHING left at the end of the day, and learned early on that I despised reading at bedtime. I am tired and sleepy and they are grumpy. We do our family devotions and memory work during breakfast and then retire to the living room and cuddle in front of the fireplace for real aloud time. It is generally a lovely time, especially now that we are a toddler-free zone :-)

 

We switch up the intensity level, sometimes reading Andersen's fairy tales, then Dickens, then Anne of Green Gables, then Greek myths, then Henty, Hawthorne, Burgess, Kipling, Milne, and back to Dickens again. This keeps everyone engaged...from ages 6-16...the youngers stretched periodically, the olders periodically nostalgic. I love when my sixteen year old will come up to the six year old and announce, "Listen, buddy, this is my favorite part."

 

We limit screens, but are not militant about it. The kids might watch 1-2 short shows or documentaries daily. I don't feel like this has ever impeded the enjoyment of the reading aloud, but definitely the time of day does. We are all tired and ready for quiet down-time after a long day of school (and piano lessons, sports, horse-back riding, etc.) My kids are definitely VERY receptive early in the morning when they are fresh.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Nancy

[Mom2OandE]

We've been having a similar experience. For some reason though they love books on cd in the car. Most of our longer read a loudspeaker have been done that way this year.

[HS Mom in NC]

Maybe you need to try a new genre.  What about something more of western like Ralph Moody's Little Britches series? Maybe something that's about battles like The Spartan by Snedeker. Maybe he needs to hear about the kind of mischief and mayhem only Tom Sawyer can provide. Maybe some poetry by Tennyson? Some people hate wordy writing with endless descriptions of mechanics or landscapes. Some people love it. Some people are exhausted by listening to endless inner monologues and angst.  Some people love it. Some people want action, others interpersonal communication, some like complicated plots and other like mysteries. Sometimes the first book in a series is great and the rest are painfully boring like The Black Stallion series. Also, children's tastes change over time.

 

Remember that some books were written for an audience that had no Discovery channel or photographs.   If you read the old McGufffey Readers you can see long descriptions of animals our kids have seen at the zoo and in documentaries.  Desciptions of landscapes can be tedious to modern people because of all the documentaries we've seen of almost every inch of the earth.  No need for descriptions, we studied biomes and watched the travel channel.

A 9 year old disliking books for a while isn't a reason to chuck the whole reading aloud thing. I have 3 girls and 2 of them are like me-I'd rather tear my ears off than listen to Anne of Green Gables or Laura Ingals Wilder read aloud.  Give me True Grit or Lonesome Gods.  Give me the Viking saga by Bernard Cromwell.

Is he doing something while you're reading aloud?  Building something?  Drawing something?  Is he just sitting there?  My kids always have some sort of activity going on during read alouds: gymnastics on a mat or bouncy ball, art projects, construction projects, playing with dolls, etc.

 

We also read loud to ours a total of about 2 hours a day until they start college. Some of that is broken up in shorter time segments and some reading times are about an hour long. We didn't strictly limit tv, but we never read boring books either. 

[JudoMom]

After thinking about it some more I am also wondering how much of my problem could be due to the damages of modern media. Why sit through a long book when you can watch an action-packed movie? We let our kids watch one movie a day. I know that is a lot less screen time than most kids get, but is it still too much?

 

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

 

All of my boys enjoy read alouds.  If I'm reading aloud for school, I do it mid morning, usually.  However, our main read aloud time is before bed.  Dh & all the boys listen.  And we love audio books in the van.  I would encourage you to keep at it.

 

We don't really limit screen time.  We used to limit it more, and I'm thinking of limiting it again, but their screen time has never had an impact on how much they're enjoying a book.

 

However, if I tried to read aloud at the end of the school day, I would experience a revolt.  Even if it's a book they would love in the morning or before bed, having it butt up next to their free time would cause them to hate it.  At that point the just need to burn energy.

[Milknhoney]

We do our family devotions and memory work during breakfast and then retire to the living room and cuddle in front of the fireplace for real aloud time.

 

I'm going to try this. Sounds like it could be the solution to two problems, the second being that my kids are so silly and obnoxious all through breakfast that I can barely stand to sit with them to eat. Replacing that with our memory verses and Bible reading will be a better way to start the morning.

[heather124]

I'm a new homeschool this year, but have been reading aloud to my children their entire lives.  I have twin 9 yo boys and they love read alouds.  This year I'm doing them during lunch time, while they eat, I read and after lunch while they play indoor basketball, or make loom bands whatever.  Their hands are busy, but their minds are absorbing the story. 

 

Maybe reading aloud while he is doing some quiet activity may help both of you.

[SebastianCat]

After thinking about it some more I am also wondering how much of my problem could be due to the damages of modern media. Why sit through a long book when you can watch an action-packed movie? We let our kids watch one movie a day. I know that is a lot less screen time than most kids get, but is it still too much?

 

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

 

Yes, we limit screen time.   Our TV doesn't get turned on every day.   I don't know if that has anything to do with their love of read alouds and audio books.

 

I agree with others that mixing up the RA time may be a good place to start.   We typically do RAs at lunch.

[OneStepAtATime]

After thinking about it some more I am also wondering how much of my problem could be due to the damages of modern media. Why sit through a long book when you can watch an action-packed movie? We let our kids watch one movie a day. I know that is a lot less screen time than most kids get, but is it still too much?

 

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

Every child is different.  I have one child that does not process audio cd's well, but does fine if I read to her.  However, she is incredibly visually oriented, so a DVD on a subject, or a movie related to the subject, coupled with discussion and some sort of hands on activity tends to help her remember topics better than just a read aloud.

[RootAnn]

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

 

We don't have "tv" at our house. Movies are a treat - but they do see perhaps one a week on average. Sometimes, they tie into our history studies & sometimes I let them pick them.

 

My kids LOVE most read alouds. I can't read aloud to them enough, even dd#1. I'm tired of it well before they are & they beg for "one more chapter" or one more book. We do them mostly at bedtime.

[Ecclecticmum]

We don't limit TV. Then again, we don't have live TV available to them. Live TV I did not want to limit, I just wanted it gone. There was morbid news ads coming on, the shows we teaching them to disrespect their parents (and this is coming from a very open-minded mum), and I just had enough. I removed the TV from the antenna, and gave it to my DH for his PS3 (so it went into his den).

 

The children now watch DVDs and D/L YT videos etc, that I choose and put on their computer (which has no access to the internet). I saw a vast improvement in their behaviour once the live TV was removed from the equation. It also allows me to see what movies affect my son in a negative way, and those are promptly removed. They also have free access to their piano/Keyboard program on their computer as well.

 

So yes, if we are talking Live TV, I would limit it severely. You cannot control the ads that pop up, and although "legal" to have on at those times, are teaching the children to become numb persons.

 

I usually try to put stuff on there that correlates with what we are learning. I got them stocking stuffers on Dangerous Animals of Australia & Wildest Asia, A coonecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. We discuss what they watch. I keep an eye out for dvds that go with our books. e.g. We are doing Animals & Their Worlds (WP), when I was purchasing Lost in the Woods, I found a DVD of the same name, so got it. When I was looking for a movie to watch (for me) I came across the movie adaption of Elsa's Story "Born Free" so I'm planning to get that. That way we read the book, narrate, watch the movie & discuss. Sometimes they'll do a craft project (self-started or part of the curriculum). So the movie is just another way to reach out with the story. I make sure I don't see the movie before I read the book, but thats a whole different story (once I see the movie, I cannot bring myself to read the book for some reason)..

 

I also limit games and "other screens" time (Igadgets, consoles computer games etc. No games are on their computer, it contains educational stuff only, since they have access to it 24/7, games and other doo-dads are on my desktop computer or the other rooms consoles (which are not available to them 24/7).

 

Thats just the way it works here due to our parenting beliefs & the way my husband & I both go about our lives, obviously it would vary greatly in other households.

[IsabelC]

If he really doesn't enjoy read aloud time, and no tweaking is helping, you could consider doing a book discussion instead. You and your child both read the same book silently (this can be done together or at different times) and then you have an informal chat about the book. Of course, with this method, you lose the advantage of him being able to listen to books that would be too difficult for him to read independently, but at least you would still have books as an enjoyable thing that you share.

 

I'd try the tweaking first, though. Start by ensuring that read aloud time is never seen to be competing with another enjoyed activity. If necessary, have it competing with something unenjoyable ('Are you ready to clean your room now, or shall we have another chapter of this first?' is likely to elicit a more enthusiastic response than 'you can have snacks / free play / computer games after our read aloud'). And maybe make the read alouds less challenging for a while, so it feels more like fun and less like you're pushing a literacy agenda.

 

I don't know when most families stop doing reading aloud. I'm not planning to stop unless the kids completely lose interest. I'm in my late 30's and would love to be read to by a skilled adult if I had the chance! And I know that in the past it was commonplace for families to read out load even when the kids were young adults.

[Milknhoney]

^{I moved our read-aloud time to just after breakfast and so far that has done the trick. This morning we actually read three chapters and ds seems to be into the story.}

 

^{I'm hoping this renewed interest lasts and that he changes his mind about wanting to read the rest of the Prydain Chronicles. I was really into those and I want to see how things turn out with Taran and Eilonwy!!}

[Harriet Vane]

Try giving him something to do with his hands while you read. My ds becomes bored and restless when he just sits and listens, but he really enjoys the story when he can whittle or do latch-hook or even crochet. (We just don't tell folks outside of our house of his crochet.)

[T'smom]

Someone mentioned having "Lit at lunch" on here not too long ago. I thought that was a great idea! I have a hard time keeping the 3 yo quiet enough for her brother to hear me....if her mouth was full, that would be fantastic! My kids might also stay at the table longer and hopefully eat more. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for us because dh comes home for lunch and I'd rather talk to him. And the kids get kindof crazy when he comes home. I know those reasons don't apply to your ds, but if he's sitting at the table anyway, maybe he wouldn't mind being read to then.

[KSinNS]

FWIW my kids love read aloud, but we struggled through Treasure Island (still 2 chapters left, and honestly even I can't face them). The bigs were bored, and my 5 year old was in open revolt. Maybe try a run at fun, lighter fare? He's only 9, and there are tons of great "middle reader" books that he may love. We do read aloud at bedtime and at snack time, and sometimes before lunch. Lots of cuddles, and I mostly let my very active 5 year old jump around so long as he's not too disruptive. Anyway, good luck.

[MerryAtHope]

I haven't read Castle of Llyr, but the other two may be too heavy on vocabulary (and/or plots are more involved than he's ready for) to be interesting yet to him. My kids were more junior high age when we read Treasure Island. I wonder if part of the issue is the book choices.

 

As for screen time, I limited to 30 minutes, or at most 60 until they were junior high-ish. We still do read-alouds (and still enjoy them), and my kids are 11th and 9th grades. We're currently reading The Dry Divide.

 

I used a lot of Sonlight books for read-alouds, and their suggestions, at their recommended age ranges, were almost always hits here. Maybe you just need to look around at some different choices?

 

Merry :-)

[WinsomeCreek]

I am such a strong fan of read alouds. My kids are not so much. At this point I make it happen by serving breakfast or lunch and reading to them while they eat. I can also get away with reading history. Snuggling on the couch or in bed doesn't work anymore. I also have the problem that if my oldest likes the book I start, he will finish reading it once I set it down. I had to snap at him to put the book down yesterday so that I can resume today with us all on the same page. I'm certain he snuck and read it already.

It sounds like you have good ideas for making it more appealing. I'm definitely of the mindset that it is worthwhile even for older kids. I think it has to do with the very strong visual memories I have of books that were read to us in 3-4th grade (in school).

[Berta]

My daughter, 7, doesn't like read alouds unless I let her look over my shoulder and read on. I think she has a really hard time with only-oral inputs. Also, she is an awesome reader who struggles with very little, so she doesn't "gain" much, in her view, from having me read aloud. My older son, however, loves them.

 

Emily

 

My daughter is 8 and is the same way as your daughter. She does not like being read to, she doesn't like sharing a book with me, she wants to read by herself. She can read very well and her comprehension is to be MUCH better when she sits alone with a book. 

 

I had to change our entire curriculum this year for this very reason. 

[Professormom]

After thinking about it some more I am also wondering how much of my problem could be due to the damages of modern media. Why sit through a long book when you can watch an action-packed movie? We let our kids watch one movie a day. I know that is a lot less screen time than most kids get, but is it still too much?

 

It makes me curious, for those of you who have kids who like listening to read-alouds and audio books, do you also strictly limit TV and movies?

Preface: everyone has different media rules. The following is just to illustrate what we do... Everyone has different thoughts on this. No judgey on my part:-)

 

So...

 

We really only do tv or movies once a week - on the weekends. We are not tv nut- casesðŸ˜, and I don't think all tv is evil. I actually let them watch more when they were toddlers than I do now. But, I do notice a change in behavior, in their ability to concentrate (like, say, in read alouds, lol), and in the desires to actually DO things instead of passively watching them. We have fun with movie night on the weekends and sometimes they get to do games in their iPods during the week, but I really limit that screen time. I tell them that there are so many things to do in life, that wasting time watching other people live is not something we value.

 

This is how I looked at it... An hour each day of tv is at least 7 hours per week, if you don't up it on the weekends, which many people do. So that is almost a full adult workday per week, plus the distraction factor (can I watch tv now, can I watch tv now?) and the come-back-to-reality time that happens after watching more than 30 minutes at a crack.

 

That being said, I also do our read alouds at the beginning of the day. I know many people probably will think that is nuts, but it is a nice way to ease into school and then when they are done for the day, they are done and can be their crazy, wild selves all they want, provided they finished their school work, lol. Oh, and our read alouds are part of their school work. We started out with sonlight and even when we switched to ToG, I have kept that as an important part of our day.

 

Anyway, just some thoughts... Good luck.

[Momofeat]

. I have a friend who reads to her teen age sons while they eat.  

This is exactly what I do.

 

I also read while they fold laundry.

 

My 11yr old dd recently went through a phase where she complained about all of her literature books--read alouds & independent books. We finally quit allowing her to check out books from the library until her attitude improved.

 

Now there is not hardly any complaining. I really believe she made up her mind ahead of time that she wouldn't like school books, and we had to help her improve her attitude towards them. Now that she's not complaining, she's actually enjoying them.