Having a newborn around was CAKE compared to this

[AimeeM]

It's only day 1 for us and I already feel like I'm drowning.

 

Between the 13 month old screaming like a banshee and, alternately, getting into everything he can get his hands on; the 4 year old crying because he was getting little to no attention; the 110 lb German Shepherd forgetting that he's housebroken (pooping all over the house - he just had a check up and was cleared medically) and the Italian Greyhound snitching food from the boys at every turn... I've accomplished the following with my eldest (almost 12):

 

Language Arts and a bit (15 minutes) of math.

 

That's it. It's after 3.

 

All of her language arts are mom intensive (and much of it dyslexia specific), her math will not be as mom intensive once we finish a short review/refresher of last year, but right now it's pretty intensive.

 

Everything that we accomplished, was accomplished during the babe's nap time and the 15 minutes he was happy while in the bouncer.

 

I'm half tempted to call it "that stage in our life", only cover language arts, math, and religion formally, and let her read for science; nix geography. I feel like that's a bad idea - she's in 7th grade and I feel like it's time to ramp up - but I also can't imagine being this stressed every day.

 

I can't say I'm surprised. It's been this way (in the house) since the little one became truly mobile and the GSD decided we weren't forgiven for his last stint at the boarder's, but ye gads - I'm about to pull my hair out.

 

On a positive note - my daughter loves IEW. She thinks Andrew is about the coolest thing since sliced bread. She wrote a beautiful outline and paragraph today (and this is the girl who, previously, couldn't put together a coherent paragraph if her life depended on it. She's sore that she can't watch him every day.

[Mnemosyne]

Have you considered some kind of Tot School for the 4 year old and maybe even the 13 month old to keep them occupied?

You have my sympathies... hopefully they'll settle down and adjust soon!

 

*hugs*

[AimeeM]

Have you considered some kind of Tot School for the 4 year old and maybe even the 13 month old to keep them occupied?

You have my sympathies... hopefully they'll settle down and adjust soon!

 

*hugs*

The 4 year old isn't really an issue - frankly, if I could keep the 13 month old occupied, the 4 year old would get the attention (and school work) that he wants; he sees his pretty curricula sitting on the shelf and he wants to do it.

 

And no, we won't consider child care for the youngest. We aren't huge fans of child care centers and, at this age, that's the only option we would have.

 

I think that part of it is just that it's a small house (something we're trying to fix, actively - the housing situation, I mean); Autumn is dyslexic and ADD and there is NO quiet place for her to go; there is nowhere her and I can go together in the house, that I can still supervise the youngest.

 

I'm sure it'll settle soon.

 

I'm about 10 minutes shy of writing a note to my local co-op and asking if there are any older teenagers who could take the time from studies to take a mother's helper job a couple hours a day (between that and the babe's nap time, we could get a lot done in 4 hours of uninterrupted peace)... but, then, where would keep them that the nursing-monster can't see me and want me? Lol.

[BlsdMama]

((Hugs))

 

As an aside of encouragement, after summer there is a learning curve.  You'll get into a groove and so will the kiddos.  I make no promises about the GSD as we have one too.... I have a love/hate relationship with him. 

 

If you're looking for any advice, I can tell you letting my "big" kids (the 6yo, 8yo, 9yo, and 11yo) work on independent work (for us it's Rod & Staff ~ intentionally below their level) while I spend some morning time with the littles (circle time) "buys" me good table work with everyone after that.  The other thing I steadfastly refuse to give up is nap / quiet time.  It's a necessity to be able to work one on one and/or survive.

[Mnemosyne]

The 4 year old isn't really an issue - frankly, if I could keep the 13 month old occupied, the 4 year old would get the attention (and school work) that he wants; he sees his pretty curricula sitting on the shelf and he wants to do it.

 

And no, we won't consider child care for the youngest. We aren't huge fans of child care centers and, at this age, that's the only option we would have.

 

I think that part of it is just that it's a small house (something we're trying to fix, actively - the housing situation, I mean); Autumn is dyslexic and ADD and there is NO quiet place for her to go; there is nowhere her and I can go together in the house, that I can still supervise the youngest.

 

I'm sure it'll settle soon.

 

I'm about 10 minutes shy of writing a note to my local co-op and asking if there are any older teenagers who could take the time from studies to take a mother's helper job a couple hours a day (between that and the babe's nap time, we could get a lot done in 4 hours of uninterrupted peace)... but, then, where would keep them that the nursing-monster can't see me and want me? Lol.

 

With Tot School I mean something like what http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/ does, just different activities set up. Sensory bins and the like. I remember 13 months being a pretty tough age with my son though, I don't know about yours but mine was pretty clingy, something like a mothers helper or a kid that could come play and keep the little one occupied may be the easiest for you.

 

Hope you find a solution that works for you soon!

[Tammyla]

I'm going to send a hug and encourage you to just work through it the best you can. :grouphug:  Take heart, many first days are bad, bad, bad and many of us have no little ones to blame them on.

 

A couple of ideas.

 

1.  Ear plugs :bigear:  or headphones for your oldest.  They wouldn't work all the time, but they might help cut down on the distractions.

 

2.  Do you have some crazy fun box for the other two?  Masking tape was a lifesaver suggested to me years ago.  It's cheap and little kids love tape. 

 

3.  Try getting the youngest to nap longer or sleep in later and school during sleep times.  Could you tire the younger two out and then work with the older one?

 

4.  Bubbles, as a stress reliever.

 

5.  Can you wear the baby in some type of carrier?

 

6.  Last resort, work when your spouse is home or hire a helper for the little ones.

 

 

I'm sure the ladies with younger ones will have some wonderful ideas, that I've long forgotten.  Hang in there.

 

 

[AimeeM]

((Hugs))

 

As an aside of encouragement, after summer there is a learning curve.  You'll get into a groove and so will the kiddos.  I make no promises about the GSD as we have one too.... I have a love/hate relationship with him. 

 

If you're looking for any advice, I can tell you letting my "big" kids (the 6yo, 8yo, 9yo, and 11yo) work on independent work (for us it's Rod & Staff ~ intentionally below their level) while I spend some morning time with the littles (circle time) "buys" me good table work with everyone after that.  The other thing I steadfastly refuse to give up is nap / quiet time.  It's a necessity to be able to work one on one and/or survive.

I'd love advice! Unfortunately independent subjects are pretty hard to come by - like I said, most of her language arts is entirely mom intensive and dyslexia specific (IEW for writing, Apples and Pears Spelling, Bravewriter; she does her lit on her own, but that's it)... I'm hoping math will become less mom intensive; if we can get in the groove of getting language arts out of the way while babe is napping, and muddle through math for just the next few days while we're reviewing, I'm calming down a bit to realize that her science and geography can be fairly independent - and I think I'll sign her up for an online religion course, to take that off my plate.

 

*whew*

I think I feel less like locking myself in the bathroom. Thanks guys :p I love this board.

 

I think I'll spend the evening making the office comfy and less cluttered so she can at least shut herself in there with some headphones to minimize distractions and, perhaps, gain some more independence in her content subjects.

[AimeeM]

With Tot School I mean something like what http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.net/ does, just different activities set up. Sensory bins and the like. I remember 13 months being a pretty tough age with my son though, I don't know about yours but mine was pretty clingy, something like a mothers helper or a kid that could come play and keep the little one occupied may be the easiest for you.

 

Hope you find a solution that works for you soon!

Yes, he's a clingy one! More than that, he just wants to go, go, go... he is also convinced he can leap and fly, that he is a master climber, that everything in the house is edible (yikes!)... oh, and that sleep is for whimps. When I do confine him (like putting him in his activity center/bouncer, he just screams his head off, making it still impossible to work.

I think he caught wind that I'm trying to wean him ;) Lol.

 

I didn't know that's what you meant by tot school! I'm sorry! Yes, I'll definitely look at that!

[AimeeM]

dp

[AimeeM]

Speaking of which, does consumption of side walk chalk warrant a call to poison control? If it makes any difference, he only sucked on it for a second (nothing was bit off) before I noticed he had a blue mouth and a blue piece of sidewalk chalk.

[Durriyyah]

Do the little ones happen to wake up late enough that you can work with your older child while they're still in bed? The ages are pretty tough. You're right, too, that in 7th grade it's hard to scale back to just the basics because it's time to start getting them ready for high school level work. 

 

I haven't done it much, but I have heard from many moms (and one poster on this thread already also) that working with the little ones first does help them play independently for a while during the day.

[....]

Um, yep!   :lol:   We've been there, too.  We have an 11 yro, 10 yro, 8 yro and 5 yro.  I had 3 in diapers at one point.  Hang in there!!!   :grouphug:  And, I don't have any advice!  Just keep swimming!!  

 

Edited to add: When my son was a toddler, he would climb EVERYTHING - bookcases, countertops, the sides of shopping carts.  If we went anywhere, he would try to run out in front of cars in parking lots, etc.  I sat in the car and just cried one day after trying to take him to the store.  

[....]

 

I think that part of it is just that it's a small house (something we're trying to fix, actively - the housing situation, I mean); Autumn is dyslexic and ADD and there is NO quiet place for her to go; there is nowhere her and I can go together in the house, that I can still supervise the youngest.

 

 

Stuff like that is always amplified when you're in a small house.  The 6 of us lived in a 1000 square foot house for several years.  We moved to Texas a couple of years ago and were able to get a bigger place and it was like a breath of fresh air.  Do you guys have plans to move to a bigger place?  When we were in that situation, downsizing possessions/organizing and getting rid of the TV helped.  :(

[8filltheheart]

I definitely would not cut back for 7th grade. Sorry.

 

Some things I have done over the yrs.....

 

Teach standing with toddler in backpack or sling

Baby proof room with pet yard......you can buy as many panels as you need to encompass any space and even climbers cannot get over and they are not confined in a small playpen space

High chair time.......baby sits in high chair with Cheerios or toys, etc

Get up early and teach while they are still sleeping....5 am became our norm

Spend snugly time with toddler while older ones work independently so that they are more willing to self-entertain during my teaching time

[AimeeM]

Do the little ones happen to wake up late enough that you can work with your older child while they're still in bed? The ages are pretty tough. You're right, too, that in 7th grade it's hard to scale back to just the basics because it's time to start getting them ready for high school level work. 

 

I haven't done it much, but I have heard from many moms (and one poster on this thread already also) that working with the little ones first does help them play independently for a while during the day.

I wish - they still both wake up around 6-6:30... no matter how late they get in the bed, lol.

[lmrich]

How early can you put them to bed? Maybe you and your dd could do a little night school? Could dad be in charge of putting the littles to bed and you get from 7 -9 with your dd?

[TraceyS/FL]

Edited to add: When my son was a toddler, he would climb EVERYTHING - bookcases, countertops, the sides of shopping carts.  If we went anywhere, he would try to run out in front of cars in parking lots, etc.  I sat in the car and just cried one day after trying to take him to the store.  

I was in the ER with a 2yo that had a concussion... during our long wait, she came out of her stupor and decided to start climbing the crash cart in the room before we realized what was happening. The doctor picked that moment to walk in and said, "well, we know how she got this!".

 

A few months later at the doctor on call for cutting her chin open on the CHAIR RAIL in the bathroom (seriously? it stuck out like 1/2"!!!), she was running back and forth across their waiting room and kept falling and whacking her head (it was a long wait - I thought her running might hurry up the much needed stitches?!?!), they looked at her and said, "well, we see how this happened!"

 

UGH.

 

 

OP,  :grouphug:  It is a hard season in life.... hopefully the quiet space in the office helps, and be sure to stock up on chocolate! My parents lived with us during it and it was still hard!

[RootAnn]

:grouphug:

 

Don't throw out everything after only one day. Our Mondays are always bad. Mondays after any time off are worse. (We're just trying to get some math & typing done during the summer, but older two were at camp last week. Add in all-day-rain so the little ones couldn't go outside without coming in muddy & soaking wet. Today, as a result, was A Bad Day. Only thing that made it bearable was that DH was coming off nights & thus was here to love save me half the day.)

 

Keep swimming! Do what you can each day. It'll take awhile to get into a groove. .... And if you have a carrier, I'd try to wear the 13 month old. That worked on & off with #4 & #5 for short amounts of time, although I had to add time for chiro visits later. ;-)

[mama27]

Duct tape?

 

[Soror]

We are on Wk 4 here w/ my ahem *spirited* 8.5 month old. We did light summer school but oh. my. goodness. it was still really hard. I did a lot bouncing and rocking her and trying to teach at the same time. She refused to nap on a very good day, she was getting 1- 30 min nap and then fussing the rest of the time. However, it is going much, much better now. I'm still spending a good deal of time teaching while holding the baby and making sure that she is not eating anything bad (like the bug last week) or trying to crack her head open and she is cruising and thinks she can walk. I'm listening in for ideas here, I've thought I might need to partition off areas when she is a bit bigger. My dds play with her as well which helps at times.

[AimeeM]

Duct tape is sounding like a mighty fine idea, right about now :p

[amazzie]

Well, not advice per say, but my one year old was once happily occupied for a few minutes when to my utter horror I realized she was chewing on a dead lizard.

[Chanley]

At my house, everyone is better behaved after some exercise. I would begin the day with a quick breakfast then EVERYONE out for a walk. The dogs, kids and mom. And I would have the toddler walk the last part of it. Older kid can take the stroller, mom takes the dogs and the goal is to tire out everyone just a bit. Come home, give them a snack and perhaps some PBS. I know, I know...TV is never a great idea but it is better than mass chaos. I restricted TV time when they were young so that when I needed to use it, they gave it their whole attention.  I would tackle the most important, mom intensive subjects directly after getting back in the house.

 

I truly believe good routines are the key to structure and wearing out kids makes for calmer kids. Of course a toddler is only worn out for a bit.

[CrunchyGirl]

Oh I understand. I've got a 13 month old and 4 year old too and it's the same deal around here. I'm seriously considering off-site preschool for the 4 year old. I just have to find one that will accommodate a celiac kid :( Doesn't solve the banshee problem though.

[Shellydon]

Things we did were too school during nap, assign the older to play with the baby while I did things with the middle, hire a teen as a mother's helper 2-3 mornings a week. 

[BlsdMama]

It's only day 1 for us and I already feel like I'm drowning.

 

Between the 13 month old screaming like a banshee and, alternately, getting into everything he can get his hands on; the 4 year old crying because he was getting little to no attention; the 110 lb German Shepherd forgetting that he's housebroken (pooping all over the house - he just had a check up and was cleared medically) and the Italian Greyhound snitching food from the boys at every turn... I've accomplished the following with my eldest (almost 12):

 

Language Arts and a bit (15 minutes) of math.

 

That's it. It's after 3.

 

All of her language arts are mom intensive (and much of it dyslexia specific), her math will not be as mom intensive once we finish a short review/refresher of last year, but right now it's pretty intensive.

 

Everything that we accomplished, was accomplished during the babe's nap time and the 15 minutes he was happy while in the bouncer.

 

I'm half tempted to call it "that stage in our life", only cover language arts, math, and religion formally, and let her read for science; nix geography. I feel like that's a bad idea - she's in 7th grade and I feel like it's time to ramp up - but I also can't imagine being this stressed every day.

 

I can't say I'm surprised. It's been this way (in the house) since the little one became truly mobile and the GSD decided we weren't forgiven for his last stint at the boarder's, but ye gads - I'm about to pull my hair out.

 

On a positive note - my daughter loves IEW. She thinks Andrew is about the coolest thing since sliced bread. She wrote a beautiful outline and paragraph today (and this is the girl who, previously, couldn't put together a coherent paragraph if her life depended on it. She's sore that she can't watch him every day.

 

I also want to add that I think middle school was where I was stretched the most with our oldest.  She was independent but not fully so, and so much depended on my interaction and "driving" so to speak.  I didn't realize the autonomy that was going to hit around 8th/9th grade. 

 

I thought she was unique (first born, type A, independent) and it happened with our son this year too. (8th grade) He just... became a young man?  He became far more independent and self driven.  Hoping this is usual, lol, because I *love* it.   But there's a little silver lining for you. 

 

It's hard because you have a middle schooler, a 4 year old (I find 5yo hard because they desperately WANT to be involved and do school but they are limited if they aren't readers yet) and a 13 month old, which can be a clingy age.  The combination of those three can be knee buckling.  The good news is that next year?  Loads easier! ;)  Shocking to me, even though I add a new baby every year or two, things STILL don't stay the same, the kids grow as do their abilities.  I hope that is encouraging!

 

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Well, not advice per say, but my one year old was once happily occupied for a few minutes when to my utter horror I realized she was chewing on a dead lizard.

So there's your solution!   :lol:

[FO4UR]

I'm not reading this thread.  I'm clinging to my denial.  My precious 7mo will stay always the sweet little cherub, content to play on my lap.

 

 

 

Reality check - I've already started setting up a space for her in the basement (where we school).  A pack-n-play, Go-Pod, toys, and an area boxed in with furniture to contain her when she gets mobile.

 

 

[Carrie12345]

I feel your pain, truly. But you WILL find a groove. Seriously! It may not be a smooth, pretty groove, but you'll find it!

[airforcefamily]

We sometimes have similar problems. Some days are better than others so when a day when everything is clicking comes up we will often do several days worth of work. The younger kids (our kids are 4th grade, 2nd grade, 4, 2, and 1) watch more tv than they should but I'm ok with it right now. The oldest likes to stay up late so we often do schoolwork that is best done one on one in quiet at that time, reading and independent work is more often done by the older kids in their rooms during the day. I have the classroom all set up thinking the older kids would work at their desks while the younger ones quietly entertain themselves with some special toys and other items reserved for only that time. Uh, yeah, it didn't really work like that! When they're in the classroom they're making noise, getting into things, or both.

[AimeeM]

You guys are great!

Okay, this morning (as per advice here!) we had breakfast and then went for a walk (just with the children; not the dog). Marco (babe) was content to destroy things in the dining room while I did spelling and vocab with Autumn; she's doing her literature now, while I put babe down for a nap, then we'll hit writing and math.

 

Since we started our year about 3 weeks before the local schools start, I'm trying to be content doing just language arts and math UNTIL mid August; hopefully by that time, we'll have hit somewhat of a groove, so we can add in our other subjects (ancient greek, Italian, physical science, geography). I'm still trying to figure out how to give my 4 year old the instruction he so desperately wants. It may indeed come down to me hiring a mother's helper a couple mornings a week.

[HRAAB]

When my twins were around a year, I had  4, 10 and 12 yr olds.  It's the first time I ever relied heavily on workbooks for language arts.  I tried to give them as much independent work as possible during the middle of the day (not our normal way of doing school) to make sure the basics were being covered.  Other than that they read or watched documentaries from the library.  What I ended up having to do was take advantage of dad's time at home.  A few evenings a week or occasionally on a weekend, dad would deal with the twins to the best of his ability, and I would have some time with my two older ones catching up on what they had been doing, giving instructions, discussing their reading and such.  One other thing I did was have them journal what they had done/learned a couple times a week plus writing narrations ala Charlotte Mason.  Of course I didn't always get them read.  I concentrated on math, writing and reading in history and science.  It wasn't perfect, but in the end I think it all turned out ok.  Most importantly, it doesn't last forever, and you do find a routine that works.

 

 

[strange_girl]

Oh, I do so feel your pain! :grouphug:  I have a 16-month-old who has a positive vendetta against us doing any school. If we are sitting at the table he is whining and fussing and trying to climb my leg. :glare:

 

I am working right now at training him to sit on my lap quietly and not try to grab everything if he wants to be with me. It might be a long wait on that, though!

 

Most of our schoolwork gets done while he is sleeping. He still naps 2x a day. I put him down from 9-11 and 2-4 every single day. Sometimes he sleeps, and sometimes he plays in his crib. But he does not get to come into the dining room and just scream and cry during that time.

 

But he's getting older now and is just about ready to give up that morning nap. Most days now I hear him up there wide awake, just playing and singing. He likes to have books in his bed, so I leave him with 4-5 board books. I am waiting (like you) with bated breath for this clingy toddler stage to pass so we can get on with our lives, lol!

 

Good luck! A lot of us are right there with you! :001_smile:

[mama27]

You guys are great!

Okay, this morning (as per advice here!) we had breakfast and then went for a walk (just with the children; not the dog). Marco (babe) was content to destroy things in the dining room while I did spelling and vocab with Autumn; she's doing her literature now, while I put babe down for a nap, then we'll hit writing and math.

 

Since we started our year about 3 weeks before the local schools start, I'm trying to be content doing just language arts and math UNTIL mid August; hopefully by that time, we'll have hit somewhat of a groove, so we can add in our other subjects (ancient greek, Italian, physical science, geography). I'm still trying to figure out how to give my 4 year old the instruction he so desperately wants. It may indeed come down to me hiring a mother's helper a couple mornings a week.

 

 

Have you looked at Starfall.com or morestarfall.com? Starfall.com is free, the other costs a bit, but I don't know how much. This would be for the 4 year old.

[AimeeM]

Have you looked at Starfall.com or morestarfall.com? Starfall.com is free, the other costs a bit, but I don't know how much. This would be for the 4 year old.

He has a Reading Eggs subscription. He really isn't interested in them for more than 5 minutes, though (and he has played on Starfall before, quite a lot). He wants direct instruction.

[FloridaLisa]

I think that age can be the most difficult. Many sympathies to you, but you *can* make it work!  I homeschooled 5 of mine through that stage and others. I have done every single one of these that 8 listed.  Other strategies that worked:

 

* bath time!  Baths were done in the morning and I encouraged LOTS of playtime.  I sat right on the edge and could get at least 1/2 hour of pretty solid teaching time in.  

* outside time.  Especially as your 13-month-old is walking, we could sit on the driveway while my youngers painted with water or rode their trikes or played.

* busy bags.  Google this and spend a weekend putting these together.  Better yet, get a dozen girlfriends together and trade with each other.  These are excellent and can buy you some valuable time!  Put baby in the high chair, pull out a busy bag for baby and another for 4-yo and wah-lah!  You've carved out some time.

 

Choose curriculum well during these years.  I used the DVDs for IEW when my youngest two were little.  I loved being able to sit on the couch and nurse while Andrew Pudewa did the teaching.  I could then send my three oldest off to do the assignment and later (evening, naptime) we could go over revisions.  Ditto for Latin on DVD.

 

Hope some of that helps.  Hang in there!

Lisa

 

 

 

 

[Shifra]

I don't personally have experience doing this, but I have heard that many homeschooling parents with toddlers often spend a lot of time at McDonald's or other fast food restaurants that have playlands.