How do your kids meet other kids and make friends if....

[housemouse]

Edit

 

 

---you are not in a homeschool co-op or homeschool group

 

 

 

---there are no kids of similar age kids on your street to play with (homeschooled or public schooled)- well, there is one family here few houses from us with same age boy as ds, but the mother keeps bugging me to put my kids in public school, so them I do not count.

 

 

 

---you are not part of the church or any church group

 

 

 

---you are not in sports or arts (band, drama, dancing, etc.)

 

 

 

---you are not part of 4H, girl scouts, boy scouts and other similar organizations.

 

 

 

This year is turning out to be extra challenging in this department. Some people we knew moved away so we have to start from scratch so to speak. Other than going to paid classes at the community center or art center I have not been able to come up with anything else.

 

 

 

Any suggestion would be most welcome and much appreciated.

 

[kagmypts]

I would like to follow this thread. Our kids are involved in some of the things that you mention above, but they seem to create social interactions rather than social bonds. My biggest fear with homeschooling is that we don't have neighoborhood kids!

[kagmypts]

I would like to follow this thread. Our kids are involved in some of the things that you mention above, but they seem to create social interactions rather than social bonds. My biggest fear with homeschooling is that we don't have neighborhood kids!

[Mom-ninja.]

My kids do participate in a sport and yet no friends have evolved from there. One of the kids even lives just a few houses away from me. However, I find that kids/families are so *over* booked that they don't have time to play. It's like mission impossible to try and arrange something, and forget a spontaneous get together. Does not happen.

[MamaReads]

I think parents have to take the initiative in creating social opportunities. Go to the park or library, check out the summer playground scene, sign up for some fun summer school classes and help your kids initiate play dates with other kids. The Whole families can get together or just the kids. And get your selves out there. I find that doing something two or three times is not enough for my kids to buy into it when they are biased against it from the beginning. Have to stick to the routine of doing it and finally they are making me go, not the other way around.

[briansmama]

I'd try to find a homeschool group that meets for park days, or start one. I'd be willing to travel a ways once per week to get to one.

 

Otherwise, I think you're fortunate to have few kids in your neighborhood. Anytime I want to veer off the local ps schedule I have to endure lots of complaints because the neighbor kids have early release/no school day/summer break. It's really a problem now that my dc are getting older and we want to enjoy the flexibility of HS but feel tied to the ps schedule.

 

So, just another way to look at it :)

 

I'd also consider getting the kids into enrichment. No sports/arts/group activities does sound very limiting. Are you all very remote?

[SilverMoon]

I'd find where the scouts are hiding or start my own group of some sort. If you have a talent you can teach to children or a passion from one of your kids, from sewing to ballroom dancing, start a casual class/group and do it.

[plath]

We started out doing park days with a small group. If there hadn't been one, I would have started one. I think you really have to make it a priority if it's something that's important to you. Getting together for a class or an activity isn't as good at getting kids to "socialize" like they will with a free time activity. I have noticed that a lot of homeschoolers in my area are really overbooked and school at home every day all day with no free time. That would make it difficult.

[journey00]

If money is tight, you could check with your library for free events for children and summer reading club. Swimming lessons at the local public pool are pretty inexpensive and for two weeks my kids have made friends.

[Samiam]

My children have done sports galore, 4 years of Scouts, and no true friends from that stuff. Friends while there, but not the type of friends we'd see outside of those activites. The real friends are the ones we meet at homeschooling events. We are not in a co-op either. It's the informal, "hey let's meet at a park" groups that we make the real friends. We had our best HSing year ever this past year, and only our 2nd year in this town, because one HS mom started a field trip group. We attended several field trips and saw the same people there. Then some of those people would throw out an "Let's do the park tomorrow" thing to the grop, so we'd see the same people there. My boys have real friends, other children they look forward to seeing, have things to talk about, etc. I enjoy chatting with the moms, we've formed relationships beyond our children. This summer we've all continued to gather, taking turns hosting at pools, meeting at lakes, etc. A Mom wanted this for her children, so she started it. That's you. The thing is, you are not the only one who wants/ needs this. There's others all waiting for someone else to be the first one. The field trip group that was started last September now has over 200 members. Now they don't ALL come to the trips, they don't ALL come to the park events, lots are here and there (they got co-ops, classes etc), some you see for the first time, but there are a core group that you see quite often, that you look forward to seeing, and the way I look at it, those are the main ones that really wanted to invest their time and effort into the group, they NEEDED it.

 

All that being said, I wouldn't recommend a park-only based group. Those groups fail, because few have that park day as their priority. Start a field trip group. People sign up for them and then commit that to their schedule. Alot less flaking happens that way. Especially if there's any fees involved (which they pay in advance so they've invested $ into it now)

[katilac]

You know why the outlaw Willie Sutton robbed banks, don't you? Because that's where the money is :001_cool:

 

If they want to find friends, they are gonna have to go where the kids are. If they aren't in your neighborhood, you're going to have to do SOMETHING. Not being in a home school group or any organized activity is really going to make it tough.

 

Is there a reason you can't do a home school group? I don't know how you meet many home schoolers otherwise. If none exist, I'd probably start an informal one. You can put up signs, etc, at book stores, library, YMCA, playgrounds. I don't have anything against my kids hanging out with kids who do go to school, but the reality tends to be that it's very difficult to sustain a friendship - their lives tend to revolve around school first, and their extracurriculars second. If they don't live down the street, there's little opportunity to see them.

[ondreeuh]

I have all but given up on helping my kids find homeschooled friends because their families are so conservative/religious they don't want us. SO I have resolved to try to crack into the public school sphere.

 

My kids are taking swim lessons and I plan to continue through the year because they like it and it is easy for me :)

 

The youngest could be sporty, so I am looking into signing him up for Li'l Kickers and/or Li'l Hoopers - choosing the evening/Saturday sessions with PS kids.

 

The middle schooler is much harder because he is not sporty, and I am going to see if he can take a class at the local middle school or do extra-curriculars there (chess, rocketry, geo-caching, etc.)

 

They will both do homeschool PE, and we joined a local homeschool 4-H club, but I don't have high expectations there.

[Desert Strawberry]

My kids' friends are the children of my friends. Librarians know where the homeschoolers are. Ask them, or leave your contact info with them. You may have to drive. Join Facebook homeschool groups. Get the kids into activities.

But most important IME is finding women who click with *me*. If we get together, and we both have kids, the kids become friends by default.

[Desert Strawberry]

DP

[Mom0012]

I think parents have to take the initiative in creating social opportunities. Go to the park or library, check out the summer playground scene, sign up for some fun summer school classes and help your kids initiate play dates with other kids. The Whole families can get together or just the kids. And get your selves out there. I find that doing something two or three times is not enough for my kids to buy into it when they are biased against it from the beginning. Have to stick to the routine of doing it and finally they are making me go, not the other way around.

 

I always said this and followed through with it, but things change as the kids get older. I can't set up a play date for my 13 yo. My kids had tons of friends until a couple of years ago. It's been a big adjustment and struggle as our friends have gone back to school, moved or just grown apart. I can no longer be the social director. I am still trying by having my kids participate in coop, and other activities, but it is much, much harder.

[Mom0012]

My kids' friends are the children of my friends. Librarians know where the homeschoolers are. Ask them, or leave your contact info with them. You may have to drive. Join Facebook homeschool groups. Get the kids into activities.

But most important IME is finding women who click with *me*. If we get together, and we both have kids, the kids become friends by default.

 

 

This is how it worked for us for years. But my friends' kids no longer automatically became my kids' friends at a certain age. And then it is hard for me to keep up my friendship with the mom if our kids aren't friends because we both obviously homeschool and have a lot of things to do with our kids each day. It seems kind of crazy really.

[Mom0012]

I have all but given up on helping my kids find homeschooled friends because their families are so conservative/religious they don't want us. SO I have resolved to try to crack into the public school sphere.

 

My kids are taking swim lessons and I plan to continue through the year because they like it and it is easy for me :)

 

The youngest could be sporty, so I am looking into signing him up for Li'l Kickers and/or Li'l Hoopers - choosing the evening/Saturday sessions with PS kids.

 

The middle schooler is much harder because he is not sporty, and I am going to see if he can take a class at the local middle school or do extra-curriculars there (chess, rocketry, geo-caching, etc.)

 

They will both do homeschool PE, and we joined a local homeschool 4-H club, but I don't have high expectations there.

 

 

The religion thing has become a big issue for us as well. It seems like many of the people that continue homeschooling into the upper grades in our area are evangelicals and I am not. We do participate in some of their activities, but there is no way I am going to be fully accepted into the group or develop friendships with people who have such different beliefs than I do. I mean, I don't care what they believe, but it is a nonstop source of their conversation, and I'd basically have to lie in order to fit in, and what would be the point of that?

[Murphy101]

Idk. I stopped bothering to. I focus on what my kids are interested in and that's what we do. They usually make friends that way.

 

I don't think you going to magically meet friends at home.

 

What do your kids like to do? Go where people are doing that. :)

[shan.non]

My oldest is BFF with her cousin and I make an effort to cultivate that relationship. She s also buddies with my BFF's children. Beyond that, my children have met their buddies through church. I know you specified no church but my kids are friends with kids at church and they picked these friends out themselves. The homeschoolers and moms of preschoolers there have made an effort to do play dates and field trips so they have friends from that as well. We also do family days with one another after church (homeschooled or not) We are blessed to have a church home full of loving friends.

[pantone]

Well...if ALL those things are off the table, it will be difficult for sure!

 

I'm not in a co-op of any kind, but I belong to two homeschool groups, both of which are secular. Both probably have 30 to 50 kids in them. We have had the most luck cultivating friends from the regular, weekly Park Days.

 

Our neighborhood is crawling with kids, although it's been tough to get friends from there. One family has turned out to have very nice kids. Most other kids are too old for mine, and those that aren't have either stolen from our home or vandalized the kids' property when my kids wouldn't hand it over to them at the first meeting. So those aren't kids I want in my house, thanks anyway.

 

I'm not part of any church / church group.

 

The kids have been in swimming lessons and tennis and things like that, but no lasting friendship emerge from it...yes, they're minor "friends" with the kids while they're in class, but it never goes beyond that.

 

We do Boy Scouts (with a group of private school kids) and Girl Scouts (which I had to start myself). BSA has some friends, but again, only within scout settings. Never outside. Girl Scouts would be great is people would stop deciding that everything should happen in their backyards, on their schedule, and for free. Grrrr.

 

The absolute biggest source of friends has been my husband's idea of getting the kids involved in Pokemon. DS was probably about 7 when he got into a card game called Chaotic. He played it pretty well for his age group. DH is a gamer, so he saw opportunity there. No one around here was playing Chaotic, so one day he says, "If you want a popular game that other people are playing, we should really try Pokemon." DS liked it, so DH found a local "league" and they started going every week for several hours. The little sister joined a few years later, and they have a core of really amazing friends from it...some of homeschoolers, most are in public school.

 

Next week we're going to Pokemon Nationals in Indianapolis. The kids have an absolute BLAST when they travel for these things...hotels are full of joy like free breakfast and swimming pools, so I'm one of the on-call "floating moms" who can take groups of kids to go eat, to go swimming, to offer a room to crash in, etc.

 

Those things which aren't strictly scheduled and which meet with almost painful regularity have been the most successful for us. :)

[Ariston]

I bring my kids to the playground at school during school hours. Some schools may not allow this, but luckily ours does.

[Χά�ων]

What do your kids enjoy? Find something related to that. Go regularly. Arrive a few minutes early to give your children time to talk to other kids and make it a point not to rush out afterwards. Give it time.

[Tarreymere]

I'm not sure when the public school kids get to actually spend time with any friends since they all seem to me to be over-booked as well. The younger ones are in daycare or daycamp during the day and enrolled in all kinds of activities and sports in the evenings and on weekends. Maybe you can find out when the local schooll-age daycamp is on the playground and bring your kids there at that time to run around. I've found that is the easiest way to get my younger kids out around a group of peers. During the school year it doesn't work as well with the school age kids, but I've still been surprised to find the odd older child out there during school hours, but that time right after school seems to work out better.

 

I started a secular homeschool group myself in order to find homeschoolers, but I have found that most people in my area seem drawn to the Christian groups. We have done scouts and various activities and sports over the years but no real friends ever came out of those.

 

I liked the advice to figure out what you kids like to do and to go where people are doing that. That is pretty much how my older kids eventually made friends once they had developed specific interests.

 

I want to mention also that having had kids in public school, there is no guarantee that spending all day in a class of kids the same age will result in friends either. I still went through this with my older kids when they were in public school.

[Mrs Twain]

I agree with others' comments that the burden is mostly on the mother to initiate the friendships for younger children. I have worked very hard to cultivate friendships with other moms who have kids the same age as mine, even though I often don't have a lot in common with them. I also pray regularly for God to help me find good friends for my kids.

 

One thing people haven't mentioned is using your kids' birthday parties in a strategic way. Perhaps your kids have acquaintances from various sports or activities, but they have not developed closer friendships. One way is to consider how to host a special birthday party which will foster friendships. Once I arranged a group horseback riding lesson for my daughter and four of her new friends. After the lesson we went back to our house for pizza and cake. That party took a lot of effort to pull off, but the result was that I developed better relationships with a couple of moms and my daughter got to be better friends with the girls. The girls loved the party, and the moms did as well because it was a special event for everyone.

 

Another thing that has worked especially well for us is inviting a whole family to dinner at our house. When you have people in your house for lunch or dinner, you really get to know the parents and the kids really get to know their kids. There is something about sharing meals together that cultivates friendships. This also takes a lot of work on the mom's part, but it is worth it. For example, recently we hosted a day at the pool wih another family. First we ate pizza for lunch at our house, and then we went to the pool. We stayed at the pool for about three hours, and we all had a great time. We don't always serve pizza (lol), but you get the idea.

 

So whatever you do, it is primarily up to mom to work hard to get friends for her kids when they are young. I agree that this is true even in public school.

[Murphy101]

Well I am a practicing roman catholic. What are you? I'd likely let our kids play with mine and share a cup of coffee with you, but I suppose you might not want to play with us. Can you be friends with people you have strong differences of opinion and or philosophy with? I can. But the older I get, the more I discover how rare that is to find.

[Manamana]

Having moved several times, I've found some success connecting with other newbies. Our last home was in an isolated, small city where many friendships had been established for a long time. It was difficult to break into that community and religious segregation (strong Seventh Day Adventist community, strong Catholic community, etc. - we're neither) added to the challenge. Other new families, whether they homeschooled or not were in the same boat as us and we got to know them best.

 

Now we live in a big city and we've tried lots of different groups and activities and I've decided it takes close to a miracle to develop good friendships. One good friend (who lives close by) is a priceless treasure. We have found our best friends at church because that's where I get to know other parents well. But, we're also slowly getting to know other homeschoolers in the area.

 

[IsabelC]

We had this issue when we were homeschooling.

 

The kids did lots of activities, but they didn't see those kids outside of gymnastics or whatever activity it was. The school kids generally had other school kids as their friends and weren't that interested in spending time with non schooled kids. We did home school groups as well, but apart from a couple of brief periods, my kids didn't really click with the others. Some of the home schooled children were quite cliquey.

 

Now that my kids are at school, the 8yo has about 10 friends she sees most days. The 10yo with delayed social skills has a friend for the first time in his life. And the 4yo is also starting to make friends for the first time.

 

I'm NOT suggesting that you resort to school just to make the friendship thing easier. But I'm saying that given the low number of home schoolers in the population, the fact that school kids are overscheduled and seldom have time for friends outside of school, the large variety of educational, religious and philosophical approaches chosen by homeschoolers, and the demise of the neighborhood kids playing in the street, MOST home educated kids (and parents) are simply going to have to work harder to make and keep good friends.

 

All I can suggest is that you just keep trying. I'm not clear why your kids don't participate in any activities (financial issues, personal/health issues, nothing suitable available in your area?) but they aren't realistically going to make lots of friends if they don't have contact with other kids, so you might want to just choose whatever is least objectionable/inconvenient and give it a try. If you aren't church goers, perhaps there is some kind of non religious community service activity you could join in as a family? Maybe you could start up your own interest-based group if there isn't anything appropriate on offer? If your kids aren't prodigies at sports or music, they can still participate in non-competitive or social groups. Also don't discount the opportunities provided by different aged potential friends. There aren't lots of kids in your street, but maybe your children could make friends with the old lady down the road? (and maybe that would even lead to meeting her grandchildren who turn out to be good friends for your kids...) Or their cousin who is a few years older could be a friend and mentor.

 

Don't forget to take into account your kids' personalities though. Some children need lots of friends and acquaintances while others are happy with just a couple of good friends. Sometimes home schoolers feel pressured to maintain a hectic network of social connections in order to somehow prove that home educated kids aren't missing out on a social life. But if your child is getting what she needs from her family and one close friend, there's no need to find 20 more friends to make it more like school!

[mom2bee]

I don't know, maybe start a community something...Maybe a play-day at the park once or twice a month where kids can get together and play and pal around with adult supervision.

 

Maybe host a workshop or two at the library or community center on something that your kids are interested in so that you will attract like minds?

[duckens]

You are not alone.

 

Even though dd6 is in many, many activities, this seems to just offer her social interaction, not social bonds.

 

We have not been invited to any play dates for two years. We have been to two birthday parties for the same girl. Last year, I didn't even do a birthday party for dd6. I've given up on that front.

 

(Part of this may be my fault: if children are hurtful to others, I correct them. I always learn after the fact that I need to be more concerned for the feelings of the person being unkind than for the child being made to feel rejected. I'm just not careful enough with other people's "Special Snowflakes").

 

I remind myself that one of the reasons we homeschool is so my daughters can have friends of all ages.

 

We focus on activities that dd6 enjoys (gymnastics, swimming, nature, engineering/legos). It's like going on a blind date: pick a movie you like, so even if the social aspect is a bust, at least you enjoyed the entertainment.

 

If money or distance are an obstacle to activities, then pick some extra subjects to explore at home. Have a regular game night. Put together puzzles while snacking on popcorn and cocoa. Build complex lego kits. Read aloud while everyone knits. Expand the garden. This could be considered time lost or time gained. You can lament the loss of potential friends, or you could use it to strengthen family bonds and explore some new hobbies.

 

Example:

This is the 2nd summer that Loverboy has a summer intern (college grad doing a specific lab project). These kids know no one in town, and they have limited funds. I feel like telling them to study for their GREs, work every night on an online language class, or read War and Peace. It is doubtful that they will ever again in their lives have this period of solitude to work on themselves. No family commitments. No social commitments. No cooking and minimal cleaning (they live in a hotel).

 

I hope this solitude encourages dd to follow her interests, and to not grow up to be socially needy or lacking.

[Maela]

The religion thing has become a big issue for us as well. It seems like many of the people that continue homeschooling into the upper grades in our area are evangelicals and I am not. We do participate in some of their activities, but there is no way I am going to be fully accepted into the group or develop friendships with people who have such different beliefs than I do. I mean, I don't care what they believe, but it is a nonstop source of their conversation, and I'd basically have to lie in order to fit in, and what would be the point of that?

 

 

Well I am a practicing roman catholic. What are you? I'd likely let our kids play with mine and share a cup of coffee with you, but I suppose you might not want to play with us. Can you be friends with people you have strong differences of opinion and or philosophy with? I can. But the older I get, the more I discover how rare that is to find.

 

 

I don't know a single non-Christian homeschooling family in my area. I have no problem with my kids being friends with people of different religions, but I almost always feel like such an outsider among most parents in our area. We have completely different beliefs (atheist/agnostic), and they all have very similar beliefs. Christianity is a major topic of conversation here, especially among homeschoolers. So through half of the conversation, I'm sitting trying to look nice but not having anything to say. These are mostly very nice people, don't get me wrong; but I can't help feeling so different and like I don't belong. Dd doesn't seem to feel it, so I'm trying not to worry about it. I worry about when she's a little older though. I really hope she can find a small group of friends where she feels like she belongs (no matter the religion of members).

[kbutton]

 

Christianity is a major topic of conversation here, especially among homeschoolers. So through half of the conversation, I'm sitting trying to look nice but not having anything to say. These are mostly very nice people, don't get me wrong; but I can't help feeling so different and like I don't belong.

 

I AM NOT TRYING TO GIVE ADVICE so much as describe an approach that has helped me endure or acclimate to groups where I am not like everyone else in some way. (I don't know how to format my text, so sorry to shout. :-) )

 

I am a Christian, and I often feel like the odd man out with other Christians if it makes you feel better. I don't feel that way in all groups of Christians. Having said that, I feel that way nearly always in groups of women, not so much in groups of men. Sometimes even in a group that I don't jive with, bringing up some other topic of interest flushes out some sympathetic soul who has also been slowly dying on the sidelines. If I am in a mood where I am testy about not fitting in, I try to avoid talking because I know will end up being provocative in some way. Once in while I walk away sure that not one person in the group has interests beyond (fill in the blank with the overwhelming groupthink obsession), but that's unusual. Sometimes the group will actually realize they've been rather narrow in their topics of conversation and branch out if someone hits on an interesting diversion. I cannot claim to do this with any type of skill, but I've noticed that the people who can do this really well often change the group over time to be more welcoming to everyone, and they are the kinds of people that others seek out for friendship.

 

That said, I think that we Americans gravitate toward two camps--being so eclectic it's hard to find things in common with each other or so set on a particular idea of what our lives should be like that we can't relate to those unlike us.

 

Our family has the problem of doing many of the right things but not seeing steady results. We sign up for homeschool gym at the Y...and our kids are 2\3 of the class (apparently "everyone" goes to the Y on the other side of the county instead of the one 1 mile from our house). We sign up for scouts...the lack of leadership the first year leads nearly everyone else to quit. We keep trying, and we are slowly appearing on social radar.

[yucabird]

Take the lead on play dates and get-togethers. I’ve met a number of ladies who complain that their children are never invited to various social engagements. But they tend to make vague suggestions such as, “Your daughters should come over one afternoon.†If they’d issue firm invitations, “Can the girls come over to play with Suzie next Saturday morning? Is 10:00 okay?†I might agree, the play date would happen, a reciprocal play date would probably occur, and things would go from there. But their statements are off-putting, leaving me feeling as if I am expected to take the lead.

 

Another strategy is to go, on a consistent basis, to a restaurant or play area for children. We have a couple of places we frequent, and about 80% of the time we see some of the same little faces. I’ve become friendly with a couple of the moms, and our daughters have become pals.

[SunnyDays]

As the others have said....

 

Not sure why you're not in a group, sports, activities, spiritual community, etc.... But would you be willing and able to add one or two? If money or location is a downfall, what opportunities do exist? Library programs, dual enrollment at school? It will be hard to meet people if you're not involved in something.

 

 

[Prairie~Phlox]

No advice, but I gave to say thst over te years my daughter has developed some great friendships with people in our homeschool co-op. She is 15 and they plan outings about once a month. I am so thankful that she has bonded with these kids. She's best friends with a girl from church. My boys have a few friends, one set of brothers close in age that they get together with regularly.

[CatholicMom]

I would look into one of the activities you listed for the primary purpose of acquiring some friends for your kids. That said, I agree with others who have said that some activities (e.g. sports) aren't real conducive to forming lasting friendships. There is a lot of action and structure and not a lot of time to get to know one another. You're better off picking an activity that is more low-key and where the kids are free to talk/play.

 

Have you checked with your Town Recreation Department to see what they might offer, especially during the summer? Our town offers all kinds of free activities for kids (sports fundamentals, kickball games, crafting at the park, etc).

 

Also, look at local museums, libraries, and places where there are free or low-cost activities are available to kids which might attract homeschoolers. Just popping in there regularly might help you see familiar faces every time and get to know a mom or 2. Sometimes the way to get your kid some friends is to get *yourself* some friends... who have kids. It feels weird to call up someone you don't really know and ask if their kids want to come over and play. But your kids will naturally become friends (usually) with kids they are around regularly because you and your dh get together frequently with their parents. YKWIM? Not something that can happen overnight, of course. But something to think about and work toward.

 

Also, consider starting your own homeschool group and see what happens. I'm attempting to start one in my area this year. Make it a real casual "get together and play" type of thing at first.

[katilac]

Take the lead on play dates and get-togethers. I’ve met a number of ladies who complain that their children are never invited to various social engagements. But they tend to make vague suggestions such as, “Your daughters should come over one afternoon.†If they’d issue firm invitations, “Can the girls come over to play with Suzie next Saturday morning? Is 10:00 okay?†I might agree, the play date would happen, a reciprocal play date would probably occur, and things would go from there. But their statements are off-putting, leaving me feeling as if I am expected to take the lead.

 

If you want it to happen, take the lead! When someone says, "your daughters should come over one day," smile and say, "yes, we need to get them together - actually, I could host a playdate this coming week on Tuesday or Thursday, if that works for you?"

 

It's like everything else in life: 20% of the people are going to do 80% of the work. It's just the way it is.

[Hunter]

There were some times my boys had very limited social opportunities. It really didn't matter, as long as they had adults to socialize with.

 

A long time ago I heard this quote. "Other children are like candy. A little bit is good, but too much will make them rotten."

 

There are very successful and happy adults all over the world, that followed their parents into some very unusual experiences, long before the word "homeschooler" was created. They grew up in jungles and polar regions and on boats and on mountains with virtually no interactions with other children. They are amazing people, I think because of, not despite, their upbringing.

 

The Mennonites have discovered that their children that grow up in the missionary churches where they have very limited access to same age children, grow up better socialized than those that have large numbers of children their own age.

[mamaraby]

I have all but given up on helping my kids find homeschooled friends because their families are so conservative/religious they don't want us. SO I have resolved to try to crack into the public school sphere.

 

 

This is true for us as well. My oldest was even in ps last year, but that was...sort of a disaster and in the end the only friend he found was one that he met by being on the YMCA soccer team. This year we're adding 4H, I'm going to try the homeschool group again (and hope for something different or that folks will be more accepting), keep up with the soccer, and switch up my workout time so that we go in the afternoon when the chance of schoolkids being at Childwatch is greater.

 

I've also been encouraging my children to be more outgoing. They're quick to offer our phine nmber to potential friends and get one in return. My oldest (8) is also good about caloing his friends on his own and arranging get togethers. Don't forget - these are social skills, too.

 

There ate times when it feels a bit...desperate. It doesn't seem like it should be this hard. Sadly, though, it is and it still was even when he was at school.

[Hunter]

I find that kids/families are so *over* booked that they don't have time to play. It's like mission impossible to try and arrange something, and forget a spontaneous get together. Does not happen.

 

My oldest was even in ps last year, but that was...sort of a disaster and in the end the only friend he found was one that he met by being on the YMCA soccer team.

...

It doesn't seem like it should be this hard. Sadly, though, it is and it still was even when he was at school.

 

 

This is the way of it. Times are just crazy right now. Adding more crazy to crazy doesn't make things better. When things don't fall into place on their own, just spend some family time. It's okay! Really! Family is enough for long stretches of time, even sometimes years. Focus on long family dinners every night, instead of trying to add another activity, where kids perform NEXT to each other instead of interacting WITH each other, followed by takeout eaten in the car.

[Murphy101]

I don't know a single non-Christian homeschooling family in my area. I have no problem with my kids being friends with people of different religions, but I almost always feel like such an outsider among most parents in our area. We have completely different beliefs (atheist/agnostic), and they all have very similar beliefs. Christianity is a major topic of conversation here, especially among homeschoolers. So through half of the conversation, I'm sitting trying to look nice but not having anything to say. These are mostly very nice people, don't get me wrong; but I can't help feeling so different and like I don't belong. Dd doesn't seem to feel it, so I'm trying not to worry about it. I worry about when she's a little older though. I really hope she can find a small group of friends where she feels like she belongs (no matter the religion of members).

 

 

Okay. Have you considered cutting bait and saying, "I'm atheist/agnostic, so I don't know about ____ or I think ____."

 

Sometimes people talk about what they have in common, but it doesn't mean they can't or wouldn't be happy talking about someone else. Or maybe they aren't married to someone of the same faith. (my Dh is agnostic) I don't have much patience for ridicule, but you don't have to be roman catholic or Christian for me to have something to talk to you about.

 

If it matters, I often feel out of place bc I am not as conservative as some circles think I should be.

(((hugs)))