How much free play is too much

[Okeychowie]

I have 2 boys ages 4.75 and 3 and a 7 month old. I feel like I never play with the older two because I'm either making s meal, cleaning up after a meal, nursing, or getting ready to leave the house.

 

They love playing together and are great at using heir imaginations, which is great. Unfortunately, I then have a hard time when I want to do100ez with the older one; he complains and throws a fit.

 

He is won't officially start kindergarten for another year when he's 6. Should I worry that they have a lot of free play? Should I have them do more table activities? The older one has never enjoyed coloring and is always finished in about 5 min when the younger will work on something for 30 min. I'm torn between just letting them be kids while they are little and feeling pressure to get them learning.

[lynn]

I know this, I am a mom of 3 boys :D . Boys need as much free play as possible. I would not expect a child that young to want to sit and do a lesson. I have yet to come across a boy who would sit to do anything for more than 5 min especially color. I remember bringing my ds to mother's day out and there would be color sheets set out the girls would sit and color and color the boys barely sat scribbled across the page and went to play.

 

Let him play and explore the world with his brother. He's learning more than you think.

[AdventureMoms]

My oldest is just starting to sit for more than 5 minutes ( like 10 mins) and be willing to do lessons. She's almost 5, has a relatively calm temperament, and is a girl. I highly doubt my boys will sit for lessons at that age.

 

I don't think they can have too much free play at those ages.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I don't think they can have too much. They are learning while playing. Not quite 5 is really young. My boys wouldn't even sit through a whole story book at that age. Relax. We made things a game. Recite letters while tossing bean bag, draw with sidewalk chalk, etc. Plenty of time for workbooks later.

[catz]

At that age, there's no such thing as too much.

[Katy]

I would insist on "Preschool" with a sit down lesson of 20 minutes each day, and slowly increase it over time.

 

ETA: sheesh, I guess I'm the exception. FWIW, my focus would be more on learning to sit down, be still, and pay attention for increasing amounts of time than on learning, but I'd still insist on it. We also expect kiddos to sit relatively still and be relatively quiet during church each week, so I don't think teaching that sort of self control is an unreasonable task.

[lea1]

My two sons were probably just a little older than 5 when I started sitting down with them a little each day with OPGTR. They didn't want to do it either. One thing that I did was I typed up my own notes and printed it to use with them. They each could hold their own copy and I left out all of the parts that were written to the parent so it didn't look like so much stuff to them. Then I kept the lessons very quick. You might think of a small treat or reward for him until he gets used to the idea. As soon as they could read a bit, I got them some fun beginner readers and they enjoyed trying to read them.

 

My two loved being read to so they were very excited when they saw they were able to read something for themselves. Another thing I did was made a big deal of buying them each their own bedside lamp and allow them to sit up and 'read' (or look at books) for a little while before they went to sleep. (We did not keep any toys in their bedrooms.) That has continued to this day. If they get to bed on time, they love to sit up and read for a while before going to sleep. They manage this on their own very well. I have only had to go up and tell my son who loves to read that he was staying up too late two or three times over the years.

 

I believe in TWTM she mentions that young children never really 'want' to sit down and learn to read. I have never regretted teaching them at this age, as it has been a good thing all around. They really enjoy reading (one more than the other). I waited until I knew they were both able. One way I did this was to let them learn their letter sounds by watching the leapfrog dvd some, which they loved. I also played with them in other ways, such as with the leapfrog letters on the fridge that say their sounds. I helped them try to blend the sounds together and, in the beginning, one of them couldn't do it yet. Every once in a while, I would check again and eventually I knew he was ready.

 

So, if it were me, I would go ahead and start teaching him but I would keep the lessons very short in the beginning and I would adjust my approach so I didn't need the book (mine hated the book in the beginning...it just looked to big and too much.) And I would do somethings to make him feel special and like he is a 'big boy', like the lamp thing or something else. But I would definitely teach him his letter sounds first through playing/dvd and I would definitely make sure he is ready to learn to read by making sure he can blend the sounds together to make a simple word first.

 

ETA: My two sons still don't want to quit playing to do school or anything else! A little boy (3YO) moved in next door and one of my sons really enjoys playing with him. If going to cub scouts or swim lessons or anything else at all (going to buy him a new pair of play sandals) might interfere with his playing with the neighbor, he gets all upset. Now that it is warm, he wants to spend all of his time outside. I have a hard time getting him to stay indoors long enough to learn anything these days!

[fairfarmhand]

ummm...I remember when my oldest was that age and I thought it was so important for her to learn to read early. So we worked and worked and she pretty much figured it out on her own by the time she turned 4.5. I was proud and thought I was such an amazing teacher.

 

Then I had a second dd. She totally erased all of my preconceived notions about how children learn to read.

 

My third daughter, I was so busy with my older two kids' homeschool that I let her play around on starfall.com. That's how she learned to read.

 

My youngest son is 5. He's been sounding out words for almost a year and I have no idea where he picked that up. ;) (I'm such a great homeschool mom. not."hey! When did you learn to read?")

 

My point is this....relax. He will probably figure it out eventually. If you want him to learn to sit quietly and listen, you can do that during story time, but I don't push formal lessons that need student involvement before they are either six years old and time for school or they are asking for them.

[Mommyof4ks]

We just made sure that everyday we did a quick lesson first thing in the morning. So right after breakfast we did a quick reading lesson, and then the boys had the rest of the day to play. I would incorporate math into their play somewhere during the day. As other have said though, in the grand chemo of things just letting them play as much as they want now is good for them. The day will arrive quicker tha you think when school takes over most of their day. :( For us that is middle school, and it creeps up so quickly.

[In The Great White North]

At that age, there's no such thing as too much.

 

:iagree:

[Starr]

You could wait till fall and teach both of them together.

[mrs.m]

It goes by too fast. Just let them play! He will learn how to read if you start later. And he will be able to sit for longer periods of time as he gets older. Yes, even without practice now.

[MFA323]

At those ages, no amount of free time is too much. Just make sure that they spend their time well. have girls, so it's a little different here. My girls (6, 4.5, 2) can always read, play outside, build with Legos/Connectagons/Lincoln Logs/blocks (only one is out at a time. We rotate every few weeks), play pretend with baby dolls, and draw with crayons. We occasionally get out other toys, but most days these are their only options. Just don't give them too many choices or allow access to electronics. If 100EZ is causing fits, put it away for a few months.

[Spryte]

At those ages, I don't think there's too much free play. Have you read the pre-K and K sections of WTM? That might be a good guide.

 

At that age, I kept any lessons very short, optional (meaning if it wasn't working, I had no problem shelving it for the day), and fun. You don't want to instill dread at the thought of "school." That will stay with your kiddos a lot longer than missing a few reading lessons at that age.

 

My two sons were probably just a little older than 5 when I started sitting down with them a little each day with OPGTR. They didn't want to do it either. One thing that I did was I typed up my own notes and printed it to use with them. They each could hold their own copy and I left out all of the parts that were written to the parent so it didn't look like so much stuff to them. Then I kept the lessons very quick.

 

I did this, too! I wrote on a variety of surfaces, too - index cards, windows with window markers, sidewalk chalk outside, anything to keep it fun and fresh.

[BarbecueMom]

I also have an almost 5yo and a 3.5yo (baby still cooking). When their idea of creative free play becomes solely focused on destroying things, ordering each other around, begging constantly for things they can't have (if I have to tell them they cannot use the miter saw to rebuild the deck one more time...) or injuring each other for fun, it's too much. 3-5 hours a day is their "unstructured" play limit. After that it's tears and chaos. 30-60 minutes of preschool in the morning (phonics, math, art) does wonders for their behavior the rest of the day. They get a brain workout and it sort of reinforces that they are NOT the boss in this house and mom's not giving instructions and directions to be mean.

 

I don't do much playing with toys with them, other than helping with tent building if they can't reach the spots to clip sheets. Between school, going on walks, reading aloud, cooking together (raises my blood pressure, but DS4 can make a mean scrambled egg), and playing board/card games, they get their fill of me. Adding a baby to this in the fall will get interesting though!

[Eagle]

You might want to look into the books by Peggy Kaye. They have simple games you can play with your children to enhance their learning while making them feel they are just playing.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Games-Learning-Minutes-School-Kindergarten/dp/0374522863/ref=la_B000APB21Q_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1367417165&sr=1-4

The above book covers several subjects. She also has separate books for reading, math, writing, and playing with books. My son LOVES the math book, so I've just ordered two more of her titles.

[Julie Smith]

I say, if you are doing read alouds work start doing so.

 

Other than that, it can wait. They can play. (Which is what my two are doing right now)

[Um_2_4]

I agree with BarbecueMom, If it devolves into fighting, bickering, it is too much!

I think at those ages (if I could go back and redo) I would focus more on a schedule/routine for the day, with plenty of free time structured in. Make sure that the things they have access to for free time are "productive" , i.e. no electronics, lots of puzzles, blocks for building, k'nex or the like. Then maybe have some "special" tubs of toys they can only use at the kitchen table (or near you where ever that may be). Include jumbo beads for lacing, some pegboards, etc, small things you don't want scattered around the house, maybe some playdough if you feel adventurous)!

I saw these the other day and so want to get them for my 3yos: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=15439356&moduleName=Brand+Name+Secondary

 

A routine now will make transitioning into lessons easier.

 

For crafts, there are tons of "Easy" craft ideas, just google something the kids like or use DLTK kids or No Time for Flashcards. Mt kiddos are not artisitic, a couple of them hate to color, but given a cut/paste craft they will go for it and many take less than 20 minutes to do (more like 10-15).

[violamama]

I've not tried 100 ez lessons, but my boys thought school was just fun at those ages. (I didn't have the third one to contend with, though!)

 

You could do lots of sensory activities that bring in a learning element: salt box letters, writing letters HUGE with sidewalk chalk outside and then walking them, building letters with play-doh, tracing sand paper letters, making piles of things to count, etc etc. If they do produce any written or drawn work, make a big deal out of it by hanging it up and showing it to friends and relatives. The public praise thing worked wonders for my older boy in the beginning, as did seeing other kids at our CC community who were doing similar things.

 

As a classical ed geek in the making, I would say that the oldest is totally at the stage for absorbing info: Grammar (not English grammar, but the memorization of rote information to be understood in depth when he's older). He will think memorizing silly poems, your phone number, the names of presidents, whatever you can put into songs, etc is just fun. He may love things with hand motions- it takes only a few minutes to work on this stuff a day, but they hold onto that info so easily. For us, the material in CC and the poems in FLL have supplied hours of fun memory work.

 

I agree that my kids actually do better in their free play when they've completed some tasks for school. We do school through the mornings with lots of play breaks, physical activity until about 2pm and the afternoon is generally theirs, barring a few errands. They are great at the creative, self-regulated play. They probably average 4 or 4.5 hours of it a day, and I love it that way.

[Arcadia]

At that age, it is too much free play for them when either of them have a meltdown. That means they are either tired, hungry (but don't want to stop playing to eat) or they need some quiet time to balance out.

[Okeychowie]

Thanks for all of the advice! Ds 4 goes to preschool 3 days a week and been doing 100ez since january(currently on 65), but has recently started hating it.

I think I've just been reading the prek-k forum too much. People are doing crazy amounts of work with their kids on there. Thanks for the encouragement to let them play.

[Parrothead]

Hang in there. By lesson 70 dd was reading pretty much anything. I think we quit by lesson 75 or 80. Get ready with Dr. Suess, Magic Treehouse, etc.

[Um_2_4]

Thanks for all of the advice! Ds 4 goes to preschool 3 days a week and been doing 100ez since january(currently on 65), but has recently started hating it.

I think I've just been reading the prek-k forum too much. People are doing crazy amounts of work with their kids on there. Thanks for the encouragement to let them play.

 

 

I tried that book, but DC hated it, but at lesson 65, you might want to take a break and try "reading" some other books together. Find some phonics readers (harcourt or scholastic maybe) or try something like Phonics Pathways for a change. Just do 1 page, slowly.

 

I have 2 3.5yos and while it looks like they do a lot in my siggy, it is spread through out the day and each takes 5-10 minutes. Most of it is sitting by me on the couch (Mathematical Beginnings, reading). LOTW is a book related to it and then some puzzles, coloring, cut and paste. The "What your PreK needs to know" is 1 page a day, like point to all the red things on the page, or stick all the bird stickers on the top row. I don't think we spend 20 minutes doing any ONE thing. Except maybe reading picture books, when the mood strikes them, I can read to them for an hour. Jumpstart Pre K is a computer CD that they can do 30 mins on.

[GSOchristie]

I have a 3.5 year old boy. We do three five-ten minute chunks of organized learning during the day, so about 20-30 minutes. I do oral phonogram review, written phonogram review (in salt, pudding, or shaving cream), math (ordering and recognizing numbers, patterns, etc), and CC memory work. This is about the maximum for him, any more and he gets frustrated. He hates to color, as did my older ds. My oldest didn't want to color until we started handwriting this year and his fine motor really improved. My 2 yo dd loves to color, she has been coloring for a year now. She is also willing to sit with me as long as I want and talk about shapes, numbers, colors, etc. She can already count as high as my middle ds and can hold a pencil/crayon better. She is a whole different ball game than my sons :).