Time to call it quits

[Guest tnsunshine3]

I am ready to quit homeschooling.

 

A little background: My ds will be seven next month (first grade) he cannot read (can sound out a few words but is not reading) he cannot focus on anything I try to say or teach him for literally more then 15 seconds. Reading a book to him is almost impossible bc he is jumping around and has no comprehension. He cannot do even simple math like 2+2, although he Has a few additions facts memorized from playing games. He loves science but will not follow simple directions for fun science experiments. Give this child a video game and he will happily play all day and tell you all about it. We have stopped going to Sunday school because he is disruptive and refuses to move out of the preschool class, and I want church to be a happy place for him.

 

He hates school. Really hates it. I have asked him why and he says it boring and he wants to play with his toys or video games. Our typical day looks like this... Wake him up, and try to get him to get dressed for then next 30 minutes or so, then fix breakfast he takes a bite then runs around, so breakfast takes about an hour. Next I tell him we start school in ten minutes, he complains he is tired, doesn't want to etc. I spend the next hour trying to get him to either come to the living room or to stop jumping around long enough to start a lesson. Then it's time for lunch and we have t even covered one subject, and the whole take a bite run around commences for another hour, and the I'm tired again.

 

We homeschooled for about 2 months for preschool but then stopped due to my dad passing away. The next year we did kindergarten which went ok but I was less worried about school since kindergarten is mostly exploring and learning letter sounds etc. we have been at it this year since August, taking a month off to welcome new baby (which ds is totally in love with his brother) and it has been like this the whole year.

 

I am so ready to throw in the towel. I feel like he is so behind and will have to repeat first grade. It seems like there are so many gaps in his education and I am very worried about it. My eh on the other hand is adamant about me homeschooling and he thinks ds may have a ld like add, which we ds has seen a psychologist twice for testing, still waiting on consensus. I really feel like I am doing ds an injustice by trying to keep doing this, and that a private school or public school would be better equipped to handle his issues. He is an overall loving child, loves bible study time, but just can't focus and IMO not learning anything academically.

 

I want to be his mom and him to have great memories of us, and its a constant battle on School days. Am I wrong for wanting to quit? I am at the end of my rope! Please help!

[dbmamaz]

trust me, the school will not be able to handle your boy any better than you can. They will insist on putting him on meds so he doesnt disrupt the classroom.

 

Try going less structured - let him bounce on a trampoline while you read a book to him . . . practice math facts on walks . . . have him practice writing with sidewalk chalk or on really big paper. He is still pretty young and a lot of boys dont mature 'on time' for our modern schools.

 

DEFINITELY get an evaluation for adhd and learning disabilities. but putting him in school will most likely make it worse. He will be totally stressed out and angry from getting in trouble at school all day, and you will still have to make him do his homework. It will give you more free time during the day, but most likely will make the time he IS home even more stressful.

 

ok, thats obviously my opinion - i've never met you or your family and i'm not psychic. i suppose there are some boys who do better with a firmer routine. but my youngest was really not ready for academics at that age, and only this year is ready to sit down and do curriculum at the table. he's 9 . . .

[bolt.]

It does sound like he might need some specific techniques for some kind of ld (I'm no expert!) and it also sounds like hs-ing is not really meeting your goals or fitting into your life well. I want you to know that it is OK to consider other options -- and that as the primary hs-er in your family, this decision belongs to you. I'm sure you will settle on an option that works for your family.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Oh goodness honey. :grouphug: I do think you need to stop homeschooling right now.

 

Without knowing you, your son, or your home life it's impossible to know for sure what advice to give . However, reading your post led me to two questions. First, does he have an LD, which you are waiting on results for. Second, and this one is a hard one and requires complete honesty with yourself, is your lack of consistency and discipline contributing to his behavior?

 

Based on what you said about Kindergarten I can tell that his schooling wasn't consistent and it sounds like due to behavior there is no consistency now either. Several things you mentioned make me wonder if there are consequences for his behavior. "trying to get him to come to the living room", "take a bite and run around", "try to get him dressed for the next 30 minutes"... and then you mention video games. LD or not there would be no video games - ever - if this behavior occurred daily. When you tell him to get dressed do you stand with him and hand him a shirt to put on, then the pants...do you put them on him yourself if he won't? Or do you walk away and just expect him to do it on his own? Can you physically take him by the hand and lead him to the living room or do you keep telling him over and over to come to the living room? Why is he allowed to get up and run around when he's eating? You don't have to answer these questions to me...but you should answer them to yourself. Again, LD or not you have to get on top of this behavior.

 

I don't think homeschooling should be the first thing on your mind right now. You need to find out if there are any LDs and then you need to make a plan to regain control over his behavior. Once those two things are squared away you might find homeschooling him to be much, much easier.

[Sameera]

Hi,

 

You have to be keep motivated and hopeful if you want your son to learn well. Even if he goes to school it's still your responsibility as a parent to raise & educate your child. (School, only hampers it).

 

It seems you have tried reading to him, but how many books have read out loud to him?

 

Keep on encouraging him. I stopped reading to my kids when they were young, because I didn't want them to always get used to hearing stories from me and not learn to read. So I would entice them with a couple of good stories, then stop and give them an easy book and encourage them to read, and to say the words correctly. They didn't learn to many sounds, but naturally picked it up themselves. It does need patience, and motivation from both sides. My eldest started reading at the age of 5 with little or no effort on my part except a deep interest in books & stories! :)

 

If you think he is genuinely tired, sometimes it could be either a small issue such as not sleeping on time, or a food allergy problem, e.g gluten, which causes a leaky gut syndrome, it increases candida and other related sicknesses, including brain fog.

 

Try and avoid any gluten, wheat products and high carbs. If he has been eating too many sweets check up to see he is not diabetic and avoid all junk processed and junk foods, especially sugar, sweets, chocs, cakes, biscuits etc and keep to healthy diet (meat, veg, fresh fruits) with probiotics.

 

Finally, please do see this link on a book which I posted just today:

 

http://forums.welltr...home-educating/

 

http://ladyofvirtue....anity-book.html

 

Best Wishes

[birchbark]

I agree, I think you should quit homeschooling. But don't send him to school just yet! I disagree that they will be better equipped to handle his issues.

 

I suggest taking a break from academics to work on a foundation. If you're going to homeschool, you need a foundation of attentiveness and reasonable obedience to make it successful. Without this, you will spend your days banging your head against the wall. :) It may feel like you are wasting time when he seems behind, but it will be time and effort well spent. "Repeating first grade" will only take a month or two under the right circumstances.

 

Until you get your evaluation back (I have no experience with LD's), this is what I would suggest:

 

Get rid of all screens (for him). No TV, no computer, no video games. Many believe that they can cause or at least exacerbate LD's and ADD. I personally would not want to attempt homeschooling while in competition with screens. :)

 

Get rid of sugar in his diet, including juice.

 

Get him outside every day to burn off energy.

 

Work on cooperation in everyday matters such as eating, dressing, etc. Be firm and calm. Find ways to make undesirable behavior counterproductive.

 

Begin preparing for school again by reading him one short children's book a day. Don't worry about comprehension, just get him used to sitting quietly while you read. Slowly add in more reading time as he can handle it.

 

Lastly, don't worry too much about the academics at this point. Many boys are slow bloomers. Working on character and enjoying life together is the most important thing you can do right now.

 

I highly recommend the book Simplicity Parenting, if you are inclined to read something. :)

 

Good luck!

[Aspasia]

I agree with Aime.

 

I think this sounds like much more of a behavior issue than a schooling issue. I would take a break from worrying about school and focus on changing behavior and attitudes. If video games are his big thing, that's great--you know what motivates him. Now use it to shape his behavior. I would choose a few basic tasks to begin with--say, getting dressed, eating meals, etc. For every task that he accomplishes within whatever you deem a reasonable time period, he earns 15 minutes of video games (or whatever you think is fair). Other than that, he gets NO video games (otherwise, they lose their motivational value). Also, in the beginning, it sounds like you will need to be right there, keeping him on task. He may very well have ADHD. If he does, he'll need your help staying focused. Whatever you do, make sure you aren't asking him to do things over and over without enforcing anything. That just tells him that obedience is optional, and it's not.

 

If/When you decide it's time to try school again, be sure to be consistent and tie his school tasks to video game time. If he loves video games as much as it sounds like he does, and if he isn't getting ANY video game time other than that which he earns, he will have no choice but to comply. But you have to be consistent and you can't ever let yourself speak or give directions without being heard and minded.

 

My dd used to whine every day when I broke out the reading primer. I've seen a lot of experienced moms here comment on how they don't tolerate bad attitudes. So I finally sat her down and we had a talk about attitudes and how good attitudes make things easier and bad attitudes make everything harder. I gave several examples of what a good attitude looks like during a reading lesson, same with bad attitude. Then I told her that any time she exhibits a bad attitude, we'll take an attitude break. During that time (5 min), she can do whatever she needs to do to fix her attitude. BUT if she wastes my time, I will waste her free time (the most valuable thing to her is playing, inside or outside, doesn't matter) and she has to sit and do nothing after school is finished for however many minutes she wasted. Not only did school time become more enjoyable, but she got A LOT better at reading once she fixed her attitude! I no longer tolerate a bad attitude. Homeschooling, especially with babies and toddlers under foot, is hard enough. I can't fight my kid every day.

 

Having said all that, if you don't want to do this anymore, you shouldn't have to. If homeschooling isn't working for mom, it's not fair for dad to force the issue. And you should be able to enjoy your son. But like pp said, public school won't fix his behavior. You'll still be fighting the same battles--getting dressed, eating, homework, etc.

[Shellydon]

My biggest advice would be to get rid of all screen time. Zero TV, zero video games, zero computer. Make sure he is getting plenty of sleep - 12 hours a night. I would do both of those things regardless of whether or not he is going to public school or homeschooling.

[Sameera]

... Wake him up, and try to get him to get dressed for then next 30 minutes or so, then fix breakfast he takes a bite then runs around, so breakfast takes about an hour. Next I tell him we start school in ten minutes, he complains he is tired, doesn't want to etc. I spend the next hour trying to get him to either come to the living room or to stop jumping around long enough to start a lesson.

 

He is definitely not tired then! :) Seems like a normal kid, :) really active till asked to do some work. :D

 

Since you are Christian how about incorporating Charlotte Mason's style? Ask him to do ten minute studying then let him play a little then give him a different topic of interest, all bite size between 10- 20 minutes, with play as breaks...it will help get him to form a habit of being still while learning..

 

Don't worry about wanting to throw the towel or feeling left behind, so many of us have gone through it feeling this way. He is just being a child and wants to play. Early years is usually like this. Taking kids outside for exercise & fresh air in the morning, really helped mine settle down for work. I find teaching about character and good habits very useful to kids. If you make it more enjoyable and teach him good habits he will be ready to listen to you more readily. I find this book: 'Family Virtues' also really helpful:

 

http://www.amazon.co...s/dp/0452278104

 

 

Best Wishes

[Hwin]

I have a son this age with similar behaviors. He enjoys most educational activities, but I have to fight him to do anything else - putting away the dishes, picking up a mess he's just made, even playing with his little brother. If I could outsource this (the never ending behavior correction) to the public school, I certainly would. All I can offer is my sympathy, as it is exhausting to always be disciplining and never enjoying your child.

[delaney]

My 6 year old was a bit like this until we removed food dye from his diet. He bounced and hopped through every lesson. That said, he is a very auditory learner and was learning anyway. Can he sit through a cartoon and tell you what it was about? You may need to get him evaluated but first explore a hard core version of super nanny on him to see if it really is beyond his control. Won't be fun but either way you need to know.

[IsabelC]

If you desperately need to have him at school because that's the only way to give yourself a break, that's a perfectly valid decision, no judgement from me.

 

But if you haven't yet been able to help him learn to read or concentrate, please do not rely on the school being able to do any better. You know him better than anyone. You can give him lots of individual attention, which will not be available to him at school. You have much more flexibility than a school teacher about what and how he should learn.

 

May I respectfully suggest that you at least put off enrolling him in school until you have exhausted all avenues of investigation: find out what the psychs say, see whether he has a condition that's impacting his learning. If you feel he might have any other relevant issues such as food intolerance, check that out too. While this is going on, try using an approach that's a bit more toward the unschooling end of things. That will immediately reduce the stress you're experiencing with the ongoing battles over school work.

 

And try not to get upset about him being "behind". All kids really need in the elementary years is to get a grasp on the 3Rs. This can be achieved by an hour a day of reading, writing and being read to, plus either a short formal math session or some applied math (cooking, playing a numbers based card game, etc). Everything else can safely be postponed for a few months if you have to.

 

Once you have got on top of any psychological or physical problems, and sorted out his general attitude, you can build back up to your desired schoolwork program, or alternatively put him into school if you decide that would be better.

 

 

ETA - It sounds as though your husband may be putting pressure on you to continue with homeschooling, while it's you who has most of the challenges to deal with. If this is the case, you need to make him understand what you're going through, and discuss how he can best support you, both with the schooling issue, and with overall encourage, and guidance/discipline for your son.

[Katie Jean]

trust me, the school will not be able to handle your boy any better than you can. They will insist on putting him on meds so he doesnt disrupt the classroom.

 

Try going less structured - let him bounce on a trampoline while you read a book to him . . . practice math facts on walks . . . have him practice writing with sidewalk chalk or on really big paper. He is still pretty young and a lot of boys dont mature 'on time' for our modern schools.

 

DEFINITELY get an evaluation for adhd and learning disabilities. but putting him in school will most likely make it worse. He will be totally stressed out and angry from getting in trouble at school all day, and you will still have to make him do his homework. It will give you more free time during the day, but most likely will make the time he IS home even more stressful.

 

ok, thats obviously my opinion - i've never met you or your family and i'm not psychic. i suppose there are some boys who do better with a firmer routine. but my youngest was really not ready for academics at that age, and only this year is ready to sit down and do curriculum at the table. he's 9 . . .

 

 

I like this a whole lot.

[weederberries]

There is a lot of wise advice here.

 

I don't think the ps is the answer to his problems. I think you can be his best advocate once you get any potential diagnosis and both of you see a professional who can equip you with skills to help him handle life. Even with out a diagnosis, there are professionals and books that can help you help him perform his best.

 

A friend of mine, who homeschooled her older children, placed her youngest in ps at her husband's request. He exhibits similar behaviors to your son and dad thought he would be better served there. He struggled and was in trouble all the time at a school. He was finally diagnosed with ADHD. After trying all kinds of diet changes, natural this and that, she put him on medication. It worked for him. The first week on medication he was so proud of himself for listening and doing well in school. His teacher sent a note home saying he was behaving much better. But since that time, he's had so much heartache. He's genuinely making effort and progress, but his teacher still sees him as the problem child. She doesn't praise his successes and is very harsh with him. His mother is the most amazing, encouraging, optimistic mother I know and her child is struggling to overcome the first impression his teacher has. She is his advocate, teaching him the skills he needs to grow despite of his challenges. She'd like to bring him home, but her husband insists.

 

You are in a good position to help your son. It's exhausting and challenging, but I believe you are the best person for the job because no one knows him better than you.

[briansmama]

I wouldn't want to do that all day either! Some ideas that jumped out at me reading your post (I have two boys, ages 6 and 9):

 

1. Regular mealtimes- if he's only taking 1 bite he's not hungry. Is he snacking? Stop the snacks. Stick with mealtimes. Everything revolves around mealtimes here- it sets the tone of the day and naturally implements a daily structure for us.

 

2. List your daily rhythm on the board (I add pictures so my 6 yr old can easily follow). I put the day's flow up and the boys can see what they are expected to do and what comes next. We don't move on to the next thing until we are done with the current one.

 

3. Make sure there is something on that list for your ds to look forward to. For us, it's usually free play time in the afternoons. They don't get there until they complete what comes before it.

 

4. I'd relax on the academics, and focus on tightening up the daily rhythm.

 

5. I also completely agree with the pp about food additives- they cause hyperactivity within 15 minutes of eating, and can last hours. Totally wrecks the day.

 

 

[WishboneDawn]

Take some time off. Read some John Holt books and stuff on unschooling and incorporate some of that for now. My kids didn't even start formal work until they were 8 or 9.

[Neige]

I just finished reading Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax. I thought it was a very interesting and helpful commentary on what leads boys to these "ADHD" behaviours and how to address them.

 

For one thing, definitely ditch the screens. Be careful about food additives (dyes, phtalates, BPA). Spend lots of time outside in nature (Richard Louv's book Last Child of the Woods is also great, btw). Try more competitive, game like teaching tactics. Be wary of medications. Provide him with lots of positive male role models.

 

The book goes a lot more in depth on each of those points, and more. Well worth reading, especially as you seem to be in the thick of it.

[Durriyyah]

At 7 it is best to build good habits and behavior, and the learning will come in its time. I agree that the school system is not going to be able to "fix" his behavior for you. I completely understand how draining it can be to constantly be correcting behavior, but I think some ground rules need to be set and there just is not an option for him to disobey without consequences. Can't eat your breakfast in one sitting? Okay, you must not be hungry so you can wait until lunch. Can't get your clothes on yourself? That's fine. Only kids that are dressed in a reasonable time get to play video games. Can't listen to a five minute story? Bummer, because we were going to do something really fun afterwards.

 

It sounds like he has a lot of energy, and it would probably be beneficial for him to play outside, or have an active place in the house like a small trampoline to burn off that energy right away in the morning. I don't think he needs to sit down and be quiet for an hour at a time, but it would be good to make some short term goals like he sits and completes an activity before jumping off to the next. At this age, I think screen time should be pretty limited unless it is for an educational activity. Even then, keep an eye on it to make sure it isn't keeping them from something else that may be important.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[NASDAQ]

Hmm. I guess I'm going contrary to the norm here.

 

A lot of people seem to be advocating less structure, which sounds like a mistake. IMlimitedE children with ADHD and similar behaviour usually behave better with more structure -- a fixed schedule. Have you used a phonics program? Something like Saxon Phonics is pretty hard to mess up. It would be a struggle to maintain his attention at first, but provided he's not LD, he should be able to do it. Five minutes today, six tomorrow. You know the drill.

 

I'm really not comfortable with allowing my kids to forgo academics or delay reading until eight or nine, but YMMV. I know a lot of people are.

 

I'd cut out the video games, especially if he's asking for them a lot. Not worth the trouble.

 

I think that if you have a good school, that's definitely something to look at. I wouldn't make a decision based on whether he has to repeat grade one. Lots of little boys are going to be a year back, and if school is the right place for him right now, better now than putting it off.

[PeterPan]

I am ready to quit homeschooling.

 

A little background: My ds will be seven next month (first grade) he cannot read (can sound out a few words but is not reading) he cannot focus on anything I try to say or teach him for literally more then 15 seconds. Reading a book to him is almost impossible bc he is jumping around and has no comprehension. He cannot do even simple math like 2+2, although he Has a few additions facts memorized from playing games. He loves science but will not follow simple directions for fun science experiments. Give this child a video game and he will happily play all day and tell you all about it. We have stopped going to Sunday school because he is disruptive and refuses to move out of the preschool class, and I want church to be a happy place for him.

 

He hates school. Really hates it. I have asked him why and he says it boring and he wants to play with his toys or video games. Our typical day looks like this... Wake him up, and try to get him to get dressed for then next 30 minutes or so, then fix breakfast he takes a bite then runs around, so breakfast takes about an hour. Next I tell him we start school in ten minutes, he complains he is tired, doesn't want to etc. I spend the next hour trying to get him to either come to the living room or to stop jumping around long enough to start a lesson. Then it's time for lunch and we have t even covered one subject, and the whole take a bite run around commences for another hour, and the I'm tired again.

 

We homeschooled for about 2 months for preschool but then stopped due to my dad passing away. The next year we did kindergarten which went ok but I was less worried about school since kindergarten is mostly exploring and learning letter sounds etc. we have been at it this year since August, taking a month off to welcome new baby (which ds is totally in love with his brother) and it has been like this the whole year.

 

I am so ready to throw in the towel. I feel like he is so behind and will have to repeat first grade. It seems like there are so many gaps in his education and I am very worried about it. My eh on the other hand is adamant about me homeschooling and he thinks ds may have a ld like add, which we ds has seen a psychologist twice for testing, still waiting on consensus. I really feel like I am doing ds an injustice by trying to keep doing this, and that a private school or public school would be better equipped to handle his issues. He is an overall loving child, loves bible study time, but just can't focus and IMO not learning anything academically.

 

I want to be his mom and him to have great memories of us, and its a constant battle on School days. Am I wrong for wanting to quit? I am at the end of my rope! Please help!

 

Doesn't take reading much of this to know he probably has adhd. ;) You're right that at this age you're right on the line where they're reluctant to diagnose. What you need to do is start ACTING like he is. You need to assume he is and MAKE CHANGES.

 

-More structure, not less. Structure means clear expectations. It means he knows what's happening. It doesn't have to be to the minute, but he needs more structure. You don't have to do school work to have that structure and routine.

 

-Yes, diet can help. Some kids get significant improvement with omega 3 (flax oil or fish). Some kids turn out to have allergies or other things going on. Does he sound snurgley when he sleeps or snore?

 

-No, he doesn't sound like he's focused enough to enjoy school work. Have you looked at sensory input? With my ds, I have to physically strap him down at a table to have him focused very long. There's all kinds of sensory stuff you can use (seat cushions, balls, fidgets, weights, etc.). Assume he's adhd and needs these things and start using them. They won't HURT anyone but you may see a difference.

 

-Start reading books on adhd and EF and make changes. Holloway has great books, also Freed (Right-Brained Children in a Left-Brained World). There have been numerous book lists on the SN board that would help you.

 

Don't be confused and think someone else could do better. His symptoms have NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, and there is NO ONE more committed than you to helping him succeed. Think about the battle you're talking about. What your dh is saying is that he wants the boy to come out of school at 18 READING. You really think the schools are going to do better with him?!?! Do you KNOW how many boys fall through the cracks in that situation? Don't be confused about this. A dedicated mother is an amazing tool. You just haven't had the information yet to help him. That's ok. Start investigating your options, make changes, assume he's got some issues, and start working on them. You WILL get to where he can learn.

 

Btw, there ARE ways to break through even with an over the top active, totally kinesthetic learner. For instance I've got my ds working with jumbo bananagrams. Have you seen these? Timberdoodle sells them. They don't hurt if he throws them, and you can do all kinds of kinesthetic games with them. You can do letter sounds, hop on them, spell words, throw beanbags on them, etc. etc. If you're doing a lot of stuff that is paper-driven, yeah that's a hard sell. He may need a lot more physical engagement. I think HSBC right now has that learning styles assessment on sale for $5. You should go see if they do. Might give you a ton of practical info on how to TEACH him. Labels from the psych won't tell you how to TEACH him. Go check it out.

[....]

I just finished reading Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax. I thought it was a very interesting and helpful commentary on what leads boys to these "ADHD" behaviours and how to address them.

 

For one thing, definitely ditch the screens. Be careful about food additives (dyes, phtalates, BPA). Spend lots of time outside in nature (Richard Louv's book Last Child of the Woods is also great, btw). Try more competitive, game like teaching tactics. Be wary of medications. Provide him with lots of positive male role models.

 

The book goes a lot more in depth on each of those points, and more. Well worth reading, especially as you seem to be in the thick of it.

 

 

 

:iagree: This book actually changed the way I parent my son. What was really eye-opening to me was the section where the author talked about differences in MRIs of 5 yro boys and 5 yro girls. He said that MRIs of 5 yro boys actually match MRIs of 3 yro girls. He says that you wouldn't force a 3 yro to learn how to read and sit in school - why are we trying to do that to 5 yro boys?? At a point, they DO catch up to girls (I think the author said 4th grade). A boy's brain development is different from a girl's.

 

I also replied to the other "is this typical boy behavior" thread and I have to tell you - my son was the exact same way at that age. He attended public school Kindergarten for a year. They were removing him from class each day to work with the special ed lady (because he just couldn't grasp the academics portion of K/reading). At the end of the school year, my son didn't even know his letter sounds. I withdrew him from school and started working with him on my own. I also started meeting up with another family who had boys and we began sharing tips. My son was behind academically for several years. In fact, this may be the 1st year in which he's caught up to grade level (he's 10).

 

Here's stuff that's worked for us:

 

I let my son move all over the place while he works. He usually sits/rolls on a big yoga ball. We do math on the stairway. We even do our reading at the park or outside sometimes.

We hung a big dry erase board on the wall and most of his writing happens on there. Not sure where the magic is, but dry erase boards yield much better results than paper.

Awesome tip from my friend: write answers on sticky notes, put them on the wall, ask him math facts/other questions and have him shoot the correct answer with his Nerf gun.

I try to make everything as visual or hands-on as possible - we watch IMAX movies, documentaries...play with Cuisinaire rods/Base 10 blocks...my son LOVED Physics Workshop and Snap Circuits. We are going to a civil war reenactment this weekend. We also do lots of field trips. I plan to buy Konos this summer and we're going to do some of the activities out of those books.

Make sure he gets lots of time to play outside, build things and ride his bike.

 

I hope something out of there helps you. I also agree with limiting TV and computer time. We don't even have cable.

[....]

 

Maybe, but good luck finding one.

 

 

Well, the school my kids attended (for a year) was the #2 school district in the state. We bought a small, overpriced house just so we could live in that school district. :glare: The experience was great for my Perfect Paula daughter (who is 13 months older than my son), but a total disaster for my son. I guess it really depends on the kid. And, FWIW, my son was evaluated by the school district for LDs and there were none. In fact, he actually scored very high on the Naglieri.

 

I know I sound like a broken record, but the Boys Adrift book also talks about how things are different in all-boys-schools. When the boys are allowed to move around during class throughout the year, their end-of-year testing scores are actually higher. I probably need to reread that book again.

[DawnM]

I strongly suggest getting him tested before doing anything else and definitely before any signing him up for school.

 

My now 15 year old did not read until almost age 9. I was beside myself. I am a big reader and didn't know what was going on. Turns out he has some severe learning disabilities and those also didn't help with his behavior as he was so frustrated (which I am sure came from my frustration with him!) I felt like a failure, but it wasn't me at all.

 

He now reads far more, and he can even read 9th grade materials, but it is VERY slow (unless he listens to audio books), and he gleans something far different out of the book than most people do. He just thinks differently!

 

Dawn

[speedmom4]

My youngest child had a lot of the same behaviors your ds currently has. My ds is now 11 and a completely different child. There were people in our life who thought ds would benefit from medication but I was adamant against it. I am not anti-medication but I just knew that it wasn't right for him. Like others have said you probably need more structure. He is now old enough to understand consequences for behavior. He is still young so you may be only able to work on one behavior at a time otherwise it will be completely overwhelming. I would hate to put a child like yours into a public school where he will be forced to sit all day long. The school will most likely insist on medicating. I'm not against medicating but I would rather wait and make sure that it is truly necessary rather than just having an active boy.

 

My ds NEEDS a lot of physical activity. I don't mean 30 minutes on a trampoline either. He is now a competitive gymnast and goes to the gym nine hours a week. He craves intense physical activity that pushes his limits. When he is on a break for Christmas or Easter he goes back to that crazy, unfocused child. I also believe that the high level of competitiveness meets some need that ds has. I have seen this in other intense boys I personally know. One in particular was the most undisciplined, unfocused, hyper kid I have ever met. His mother was completely exasperated with him. They happened upon BMX bike racing and it was exactly what he needed. He now travels all over the world racing and gets paid to do it as a teenager. Some boys need an outlet for all that energy and it may not be your typical activity. I would definitely explore some options for your ds. Martial arts seems like a good way to get a lot of physical energy out but also encourages focus and discipline.

 

Good luck to you!!!

 

Elise in NC

[JFSinIL]

No more video games. He needs active activities. A large ball to sit and bounce on while you do read-a-louds to him or work simple math on a large white board. Lots of messy fun crafts and basic science projects. In school he will be expected to sit and not move around - he is not ready for that, sounds like. He would be miserable in a classroom setting.

 

He will read and do more school later. For now - let him be a boy (but without the video games or computer games - he must be active!). When you get the report and find out if he has any real LD or ADHD - then come back and report in.

 

And I agree with the need for a bit more structure and follow-through - if you can do it with a smile on your face.

[teeniebeenie6]

Cutting most of our TV time did wonders for my son. I noticed he was high strung, angry, had violent tendencies, and had trouble focusing. We stopped letting the be on (at all) and noticed an immediate different. He can now handle some TV but we still keep it to a minimum.

[Mom22ns]

DEFINITELY get an evaluation for adhd and learning disabilities. but putting him in school will most likely make it worse. He will be totally stressed out and angry from getting in trouble at school all day, and you will still have to make him do his homework. It will give you more free time during the day, but most likely will make the time he IS home even more stressful.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Your post is screaming out that there are diagnosable issues here. He needs help. The public schools will probably just want you to medicate him. Private schools won't take him because of his behavior. It is going to be a rough road. :grouphug:

 

Please, get him evaluated and get some help. Medication may be something you'll want to consider, but learning to work with him and to provide the structure he needs will help you tremendously. You might also consider xposting on the special needs board. I wouldn't presume to diagnose your ds from one short post, but I would say a professional will. I know many people are hesitant to label their child, but the label can lead to SO many resources and so much help for you!

[Mandy in TN]

This is going to sound harsh, but here it is: this sounds like a mommy problem. You want him in school. Your dh wants you to hs, but you don't want to hs. It sounds like you are being passive aggressive. You don't want to go against dh and march to the school and enroll ds, but you don't want to teach him. So, you are not doing either. This can't be good for your child.

 

Homeschooling can be fun and create all sorts of mommy and me memories. If you are on the fence, explore options that will create these memories. People here can give you all kinds of wonderful ideas. OTOH, if you are adamant that you are not going to make his education a priority, then you need to tell your dh that it isn't going to happen and put ds in school.

 

Either way around habit training will fall on you. The school isn't going to come to your home and dress your child. At school he will be expected to eat in a certain time frame while staying in his seat. If he doesn't, he just won't get to eat. They will not tolerate him running around and keeping the other children from learning, but they cannot discipline him or habit train him. Only you can do that. The school will just medicate him. (which he may or may not need) They will medicate him not until he learns but until he is no longer a problem. Medication may slow him down, but it will still be your responsibility to see that he knows how to behave and for that matter it will still be your responsibility to make sure he is learning.

 

Anyway, I can only give my opinion on what you have written. I don't really know you or the situation, so if I am way off base just ignore me. :)

 

HTH-

Mandy

[jemsmom]

He's so, so young. It may be hard to see that since he's your oldest (I assume), but he is. Very few kids that young NEED academics. And you'll know right away if you have a kid that does, because there will be no stopping them.

 

You've got lots of time. Let him play with his toys.

[....]

My ds NEEDS a lot of physical activity. I don't mean 30 minutes on a trampoline either. He is now a competitive gymnast and goes to the gym nine hours a week. He craves intense physical activity that pushes his limits. When he is on a break for Christmas or Easter he goes back to that crazy, unfocused child. I also believe that the high level of competitiveness meets some need that ds has. I have seen this in other intense boys I personally know. One in particular was the most undisciplined, unfocused, hyper kid I have ever met. His mother was completely exasperated with him. They happened upon BMX bike racing and it was exactly what he needed. He now travels all over the world racing and gets paid to do it as a teenager. Some boys need an outlet for all that energy and it may not be your typical activity. I would definitely explore some options for your ds. Martial arts seems like a good way to get a lot of physical energy out but also encourages focus and discipline.

 

I posted this in the other thread about boys, but my son is also extremely active in athletics. He's a red belt in Tae Kwon Do (6 months from black belt), he spars, he takes weapons classes and competes in tournaments. He probably spends 10 hours a week at the gym and he often helps lead the forms class. His instructor is trying to get him in a program where he helps teach classes. He is constantly working with the younger kids - helping them come up with moves for their nunchucks. Besides martial arts, he's also played seasons of soccer, basketball and baseball. He did several years of gymnastics.

 

Have you guys considered trying martial arts or gymnastics? I agree that some boys really need a lot of physical activity.

[Susan in MO]

He sounds a lot like my youngest son. He is one big bounce! I agree with much of the advice here.

 

You need to be methodical, a detective, and figure out what is wrong. Whether you send him to school or not, you will still need to figure out what is going on.

 

Here is how I would start to approach the issue.

 

First elimination:

1. Start out with No TV or Computer time.

2. Diet. Do an elimination diet. Make sure you have excluded sugar.

 

Second, Nutrition and rest:

1. Protein will help him concentrate.

2. Is he getting ten to twelve hours of sleep?

 

Third, Check for Learning Disabilities or Medical Issues.

1. See a specialist for Learning Disabilities. Hey at least they can give you some hints and techniques.

2. Continue with looking into ADHD.

 

Fourth, make sure you are disciplined and methodical.

1. Have you touched on the same topic 3-7 times? Our brains only learn through repetition. If you haven't provided the repetition he will not learn.

2. Hit all the learning styles when teaching. Let him see it, touch it, hear it, play with it, etc...

 

For example: the word bug. Show him the word. Provide a picture of the word. Draw a bug and write bug. Make a bug out of play-dough and then make the word bug out of play-dough. Read a book about bugs, go outside and find bugs, write the word bug in the air, make it out of shaving cream.

 

3. Be consistent and focused. This is your job. Do not answer the phone, do the dishes, etc... during school time. There may be a time you can do these things in the future, but for now you need total focus.

 

Fourth, hire someone to help.

1. If it is discipline that he needs, then a sport may be just the thing to help.

2. Make all future TV and Computer educational. Reading eggs, Time4learning, documentaries, Liberty Kids, etc...)

3. Perhaps someone else can help both you and him with new ideas and accountability. For example: My kids write much better and longer papers than they would at home due to the classes we attend. The class provides instruction, but more importantly it provides accountability and motivation.

 

Fifth, discipline him.

1. We all need accountability. As parents it is our job to teach these parameters and it is the child’s job to learn his parameters. Some children accept their parameters easier than others. If you have a strong willed child, you will need to be strong willed as well. Consistency will help you prevail. Say what you mean and do what you say. If you create a consequence then follow through.

 

An example: My 7 y.o. was taking an hour to complete a small page of math. After I ruled out that this was a lack of understanding, I set up a consequence for not having it done in a reasonable amount of time. After he received the consequence once, he went from spending an hour on a page of math to completing the page within 5 minutes. He is now proud of himself and has loads of free time. He knows, however that he will receive the consequence if he doesn’t focus. I give him plenty of time to complete the exercise and reward him with positive feedback and sometimes free time when he does well.

 

Finally, and this should have been listed first. Pray. Pray for guidance, patience, insight, etc… Then stay connected so that you can hear the answer.

 

Hugs and Blessings,

Susan

[Mommy22alyns]

I can't say more than has already been said. If he's disruptive in Sunday School, why do you think PS would be better for him? From what I understand, they tend to push meds even though they shouldn't.

I would really clamp down on screen time - it's huge (even for girls!).

Watch his diet carefully.

Make sure he gets time to really run around and get physical activity. Rebecca is my active kid (though not as active as yours) and she really benefits from competitive gymnastics. She goes about 11.5 hours a week.

Work on discipline, but don't panic that he can't read. He's still within the range of normal. I'd start short lessons with firm discipline and rewards tied to them.

Definitely start firmly giving consequences for misbehavior. Always follow through.

Get him evaluated - OhElizabeth was exactly right - just treat him like he is ADD/ADHD. It won't hurt and will probably help.

 

:grouphug:

[TranquilMind]

I am ready to quit homeschooling.

 

A little background: My ds will be seven next month (first grade) he cannot read (can sound out a few words but is not reading) he cannot focus on anything I try to say or teach him for literally more then 15 seconds. Reading a book to him is almost impossible bc he is jumping around and has no comprehension. He cannot do even simple math like 2+2, although he Has a few additions facts memorized from playing games. He loves science but will not follow simple directions for fun science experiments. Give this child a video game and he will happily play all day and tell you all about it. We have stopped going to Sunday school because he is disruptive and refuses to move out of the preschool class, and I want church to be a happy place for him.

 

He hates school. Really hates it. I have asked him why and he says it boring and he wants to play with his toys or video games. Our typical day looks like this... Wake him up, and try to get him to get dressed for then next 30 minutes or so, then fix breakfast he takes a bite then runs around, so breakfast takes about an hour. Next I tell him we start school in ten minutes, he complains he is tired, doesn't want to etc. I spend the next hour trying to get him to either come to the living room or to stop jumping around long enough to start a lesson. Then it's time for lunch and we have t even covered one subject, and the whole take a bite run around commences for another hour, and the I'm tired again.

 

We homeschooled for about 2 months for preschool but then stopped due to my dad passing away. The next year we did kindergarten which went ok but I was less worried about school since kindergarten is mostly exploring and learning letter sounds etc. we have been at it this year since August, taking a month off to welcome new baby (which ds is totally in love with his brother) and it has been like this the whole year.

 

I am so ready to throw in the towel. I feel like he is so behind and will have to repeat first grade. It seems like there are so many gaps in his education and I am very worried about it. My eh on the other hand is adamant about me homeschooling and he thinks ds may have a ld like add, which we ds has seen a psychologist twice for testing, still waiting on consensus. I really feel like I am doing ds an injustice by trying to keep doing this, and that a private school or public school would be better equipped to handle his issues. He is an overall loving child, loves bible study time, but just can't focus and IMO not learning anything academically.

 

I want to be his mom and him to have great memories of us, and its a constant battle on School days. Am I wrong for wanting to quit? I am at the end of my rope! Please help!

 

I wouldn't say you are "wrong". But I don't think you have given it much of a chance if he is still 6 years old.

 

He's a boy. Boy's resist this kind of stuff regularly. You just have to be more persistent than he is, and I know it is tough some days. Is he listening while he is jumping around? My kids used to like to do that, and they could still recite back what we had read or talked about.

 

The school will not care more about him than you do. I agree with having him tested, if you think there is a problem.

 

Video games are a really, really bad idea for young kids. I would eliminate that, or at least restrict it to the weekend. He needs to understand school is his weekday job, and video games are what you do occasionally when you have nothing else to do. I'd also make sure his diet doesn't include sugar (or much) or junk food or sodas. Or anything with red dye. I still have a teen who gets giggly on that red dye stuff.

[TranquilMind]

He's so, so young. It may be hard to see that since he's your oldest (I assume), but he is. Very few kids that young NEED academics. And you'll know right away if you have a kid that does, because there will be no stopping them.

 

You've got lots of time. Let him play with his toys.

 

Toys, yes. Toys that use imagination like magnets, legos, stuff he builds. NOT video games. It does nothing good for a young child's brain.

[HS Mom in NC]

My middle child wasn't ready to start learning to read until she was almost 8. She's 15 and a voracious reader of advanced materials.

 

My kids bounce around while we read aloud to them. We have a yoga ball my 7 year old sits on and bounces and thrashes around the whole time. She can understand what's read to her, but she likes action adventure books.

 

I suggest googling Diane Craft. I believe she's located in Colorado, but she travels a lot and has a website. She helps parents with kids like yours all the time. She's encouraging, understanding, and successful when it comes to working with these kids and helping parents work with them so they can thrive. She's a regular speaker at our homeschool convention here in AZ, so she understands homeschooling.

 

I have to agree that any institutional school setting (private or public) will be less able to handle a child like yours with a classroom full of other kids.

[chepyl]

Pick on thing at a time and try to change his habits. Read some Charlotte Mason, I would get her first book and not someone's interpretation of it. It is easy to read.

 

I would start with meal time. If he eats one bite and gets up, put the food away, nothing else until lunch time. Of you do that consistently, he will not starve, he will start to eat at meals. Limit snacks. DS was not eating, but she was grabbing snacks all day. She is now allowed one fruit snack and one candy/cookie a day. She can rat fruit or veggies whenever she wants, but the junk snacks are limited. She now eats well at meals.

 

Take him outside before you do school, play or go for a walk. If he gets nutty during the day, send him to run laps in the yard. My 7 year old boy needs this sometimes. If it is too cold, make him do jumping jacks and push UPS between lessons.

 

My son needs to move while he listens to something. Dancing, rolling, walking, jumping....if he does something he has better retention. Let him move when possible.

 

Do math and spelling at a white board. You can sit on the floor or hang it and he can stand. This worked wonders when DS did not want to sit still. He could do his math and wiggle at the same time.

[Mommy22alyns]

Oh yes, the moving while listening! I've found that my girls actually do hear what we're saying even if they don't look like they're paying attention. We'll ask them, "Did you hear what I said?" and they'll recite back exactly. All those narration skills.

[jemsmom]

Toys, yes. Toys that use imagination like magnets, legos, stuff he builds. NOT video games. It does nothing good for a young child's brain.

 

Right.

 

And to expand on what I wrote earlier about young children not needing academics, it can actually be *harmful* to push academics on little kids who aren't ready for it. In a school setting, kids (mostly boys, since, generally speaking, boys mature more slowly than girls) who simply aren't developmentally 'ready' for academics are plastered with labels and made to feel that there's something wrong with them. And they begin to believe they're just not smart. That's where the damage starts, and it snowballs from there. And it so sad, because had those kids just been given an extra year or two to mature, things could have been so different.

 

School can't give him the extra time he needs. That's not the mindset, not the way they work. But *you* can work that way.

 

I agree with others that suggested establishing routines and rhythms to your day. He should have ample time to play and explore and use up some of his energy, but he should also have daily responsibilities--chores he does by your side, such as putting the clean silverware away, helping with laundry, cleaning up after meals.

 

Check out some audiobooks from the library. You won't feel so put out when he doesn't sit like an angel to listen if somebody else is doing the reading! Get something humorous and engaging-- my kids really liked Hank the Cowdog at that age. Listen to music. Go on walks.

 

Academics really can wait.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

Here are some fun phonics ideas for you:

 

Read, Write, Type. He should be able to do it on his own. If you take away all other screen time, he will want to do it even more!

 

My phonics concentration game.

 

Also, work from the white board and do a lot of oral spelling. You can also get 3 - 5 sets of magnetic letters and put them in a tupperware. Have him run back and forth and use one hand to scoop some up and bring them back to a table. After a minute of running, give him 3 - 5 minutes to see how many words he can make. You can use any good phonics program from a whiteboard instead of the book. You write the words big in uppercase (easier to read and easier to write neatly) and then have him write a few. It really does hold the attention better. For all children, but especially important for boys. I was also amazed at how powerful an incentive it was to be allowed to pick marker color. Only children who have behaved get to pick their marker color, otherwise they get black or brown, whichever they like least.

[TranquilMind]

'jemsmom'

 

And to expand on what I wrote earlier about young children not needing academics, it can actually be *harmful* to push academics on little kids who aren't ready for it. In a school setting, kids (mostly boys, since, generally speaking, boys mature more slowly than girls) who simply aren't developmentally 'ready' for academics are plastered with labels and made to feel that there's something wrong with them. And they begin to believe they're just not smart. That's where the damage starts, and it snowballs from there. And it so sad, because had those kids just been given an extra year or two to mature, things could have been so different.

 

 

 

You are SO right! I want to mention this here, because I pushed my son before he was ready. I remember him at 6, crying because he couldn't write what I wanted him to write. I figured his sister did it at 4, so he should be able to. He was my first boy. I feel bad I pushed him. BUT, because we were homeschooling, there was no residual damage. I stopped pushing and tried again later, always telling him that he was just as smart as his (gifted) sister, because sibs tend to be within 10 points of IQ of each other, and he had two brilliant parents, so....;)

 

Anyway, here's the encouraging part. I backed off. Really did academics for short periods maybe 3 times a week up until 11. By 12, when he began taking heavy duty outside academic classes, he was totally ready. We went from writing stuff like, "I like candy. Candy is good" to long, expository writing with fantastic vocabulary in a little over a year - because he was ready.

 

He's now the top student in three highly academic outside high school classes, some with juniors in them. He's 13.

 

He was READY. Moms, don't despair if your little boy isn't ready. Let him play, and build things all day, and create fantasy games with his siblings out of legos. Let him create intricate patterns with magnets for hours.

 

My son wants to be a scientist or an engineer now. A few years ago, if he had had any teacher but me, they wouldn't have recognized how smart he really is.

 

It's developmental!

 

 

School can't give him the extra time he needs. That's not the mindset, not the way they work. But *you* can work that way.

 

Yes! A thousand times YES!

 

I agree with others that suggested establishing routines and rhythms to your day. He should have ample time to play and explore and use up some of his energy, but he should also have daily responsibilities--chores he does by your side, such as putting the clean silverware away, helping with laundry, cleaning up after meals.

 

Check out some audiobooks from the library. You won't feel so put out when he doesn't sit like an angel to listen if somebody else is doing the reading! Get something humorous and engaging-- my kids really liked Hank the Cowdog at that age. Listen to music. Go on walks.

 

Academics really can wait.

 

 

Wise words! I got them from Moms here a few years ago, and they really were right!

[Twilight Woods]

I dont have a boy but my DD [7] is JUST like your son. It takes work and a lot of time it's the battle of the wills. She has very little screen time. I am working on getting rid of it all together. I will tell you for us PS made things worse. Medication did NOT make it better. Structure, discipline , rinse repeat. I came to the conclusion that a lot of it was ME as well My parenting skills were not up to par with her needs. We are now working with a behavioral therapist and it has not only helped her but with me as well b/c I can see what I was doing wrong and how it can affect things and what steps to take to make it better. We are progressing slowly but making small gains as we go and we are so much happier.

 

I would have a heart to heart with your DH about HS. It sounds like you both want different things and you both need to be on the same page.

[kristi26]

trust me, the school will not be able to handle your boy any better than you can. They will insist on putting him on meds so he doesnt disrupt the classroom.

 

Try going less structured - let him bounce on a trampoline while you read a book to him . . . practice math facts on walks . . . have him practice writing with sidewalk chalk or on really big paper. He is still pretty young and a lot of boys dont mature 'on time' for our modern schools.

 

DEFINITELY get an evaluation for adhd and learning disabilities. but putting him in school will most likely make it worse. He will be totally stressed out and angry from getting in trouble at school all day, and you will still have to make him do his homework. It will give you more free time during the day, but most likely will make the time he IS home even more stressful.

 

ok, thats obviously my opinion - i've never met you or your family and i'm not psychic. i suppose there are some boys who do better with a firmer routine. but my youngest was really not ready for academics at that age, and only this year is ready to sit down and do curriculum at the table. he's 9 . . .

 

 

I agree with most of the above!

[HS Mom in NC]

I forgot to add that Diane Craft, in addition to dealing with behavioral issues, can help you with your child if (s)he is right brained. Almost all of the curriculum and materials for schooling and homeschooling are written by and geared to left brained people. She has wonderful teaching ideas for the right brained among us.

[PeterPan]

 

Right.

 

And to expand on what I wrote earlier about young children not needing academics, it can actually be *harmful* to push academics on little kids who aren't ready for it. In a school setting, kids (mostly boys, since, generally speaking, boys mature more slowly than girls) who simply aren't developmentally 'ready' for academics are plastered with labels and made to feel that there's something wrong with them. And they begin to believe they're just not smart. That's where the damage starts, and it snowballs from there. And it so sad, because had those kids just been given an extra year or two to mature, things could have been so different.

 

School can't give him the extra time he needs. That's not the mindset, not the way they work. But *you* can work that way.

 

I agree with others that suggested establishing routines and rhythms to your day. He should have ample time to play and explore and use up some of his energy, but he should also have daily responsibilities--chores he does by your side, such as putting the clean silverware away, helping with laundry, cleaning up after meals.

 

Check out some audiobooks from the library. You won't feel so put out when he doesn't sit like an angel to listen if somebody else is doing the reading! Get something humorous and engaging-- my kids really liked Hank the Cowdog at that age. Listen to music. Go on walks.

 

Academics really can wait.

 

This is a good topic to talk about. I'm right there with you on the value of an enriched environment. My ds spent an hour or two today listening to Little House on audio while he played. That's good, age-appropriate learning for wiggly boys! I try to chose *up* with his books and give him interesting non-fiction books beyond his years (scanning electron microscope images of bugs! that kind of thing), so our together time is potent. I'm also not keen on the use of medications to cover up a lack of changing methods or lack of awareness of appropriate methods.

 

However what I would be *cautious* about, extremely cautious about, is delaying academics as a blanket statement. Some people are in favor of that and feel it pans out. That's their experience. Here's a thread that we reposted on the SN side of the board a while back about the other side of that and what can happen. http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/22834-lauries-open-letter/

 

You also have legal ramifications. In our state we're required to do testing or a review with a certified teacher to attest that the dc is performing *at ability level*. There's a lot of flex in that to allow for proper development, but you're talking that through with someone who has btdt and can compare him to his peers with his issues and see whether he's appropriately on-track or whether some changes would help. It's easy to miss things you *could* change if you merely blanket it with the idea of it all being developmental and to wait.

[happypamama]

I haven't read all of the replies, but I just wanted to say that my son was only barely reading when he turned seven just over a year ago. There was nothing wrong with him; he is just a late bloomer. At eight, he's a very good reader. Some kids just need a bit of extra time. That's not to say that there isn't something you need to look into, just that it might be okay that he's not reading yet.

[EppieJ]

You've gotten some good responses here.

 

My first thought, as I read your post, was ADHD. I agree that consistency in your routine and discipline/structure is necessary, but also do what you can to understand how his brain is wired. I also wanted to mention that, if your ds does have an LD, he could very well be tired (in spite of all the bouncing!). Children with neurological issues often have sleep problems as well. I'm no expert. I've just been doing some research because my own ds, I believe, has an undiagnosed case of TS (he was dx'd with motor tics at age 7, but I'm convinced it's more than that). He sleeps 10 hrs or so each night, but always complains of being tired. We're using low doses of Melatonin, and Vitamins B & D to help with that (Dr. recommended). He's also beginning Taekwondo to increase his activity level (he's more sedentary than he ought to be, which could also affect his sleep).

 

Anyway, you'll have to wait and see what results come back to you from the pro's and take it from there. :grouphug:

[HS Mom in NC]

Telling someone you don't know that a school couldn't handle her child better than she could makes no sense to me unless you have convinced yourself that school is useless or evil. That mindset is detrimental. Not everyone should homeschool. The people who really ought not to homeschool are those who don't want to.

 

 

That's not the only possibility. The other is that people who have had their special needs kids in a school or who have very close teacher friends (like me) know that any child that cannot follow directions, focus on anything for very long, and is disruptive is exactly the kid that the teacher and the other parents complain about. I've hard an earful from my SIL who has taught preK-2nd, (currently 1st) another friend who teaches 8th grade English, and a close friend who used to be a Montessori teacher for early elementary ages before she began homeschooling. All of them will tell you that a large classroom full of children is not a food situation for children who need to be worked with at a more foundational level in a more individualized way.

 

A teacher around here has between 25 and 35 students in a classroom. Since children are generally no longer grouped by ability, that means the OP's child will be behind most of the other second graders. Teachers only have so many hours in a day and cannot provide much one on one. Disruptive students result in the teacher having to stop teaching all the children-including the cooperative ones-to get the disruptive kid to stop. Imagine if there are two in the class. Or three.

 

This child doesn't fit the typical model of most kids. He clearly needs something different that meets his specific needs at least for a while. Most ps and private schools have far higher student to teacher ratios and are structurally, and therefore categorically, less able to adapt to individuals. That's not saying that they're evil or useless.

 

Also, no one posts to a homeschooling forum about calling it quits unless she's open to hearing the possibility of not quitting. If she really had decided that homeschooling just wasn't for her, she would simply enroll her child in a school and not ask a bunch of homeschoolers what they thought about it. I certainly would

 

I've never met a homeschooler who thought people who don't want to homeschool should. I think most people here offering ideas to help her so that she can continue to homeschool are trying to find a way to help her meet her original goal of homeschooling. While it may not end up that way, I wouldn't say that's detrimental.