If you think it's hard to clean and/or declutter, what prevents you?

[Brilliant]

This and sentiment. For example. we have cut crystal wine glasses that were given as a wedding present. We've never used them because they just aren't our taste. I also have glasses that my grandmother gave me. Also never used, but I just can't throw them out either. I know the items were expensive and were given to me with love on a special occassion and by a special person. So they stay. To be cleaned with the deap clean twice a year...

 

Things I bought myself I'm working hard as seeing as a 'sunk cost'. Throwing an unused item out is reducing the time spent on managing stuff so I am working on seeing it as 'buying' time.

 

 

A couple of years ago I read something that helped me view giving up stuff - even "precious" items - as releasing them so that somebody else can enjoy them. That attitude really has helped! Maybe somebody else really needs those wineglasses.

[Bensmom]

Is this a problem of small living space or is it a problem of not having an idea of where something could go?

 

 

To answer your question:

 

Not having a place for "x" and feeling like there is no place to put it is not really a small living concern. We are a family of 3 and have just over 2100 sq. ft. I feel embarrased now to say that I often look at stuff and just feel like I don't know what to do with it.

 

Okay, now I'm off to stare at the pile of books and games in our "school" room and see if any bright storage ideas come to me....probably not....but it is worth trying ;)

[Night Elf]

2 things. And I'll be perfectly honest.

 

1. I'm lazy. Really, I can always find something else to do and postpone the things I should be doing.

2. I'm not a naturally organized person. I followed Flylady for about 6 weeks and my house never looked better. But it got predictable and I fell back into my old habits.

 

Good luck on your book! How exciting!

[PrairieSong]

I have thrown away or given away even things that hold sentimental value. I think the value is more in the memory you have, and not in the actual item.

 

For example, while decluttering my dad's house, I found the poncho my favorite aunt had knit for me when I was ten. She also made one for my sister. It was shortly before she died of cancer. I wore it all the time. I remember feeling like she had her arms wrapped around me even though she wasn't physically present. When I discovered the poncho in a closet, it was bedraggled, full of holes. I took it home and put it in our storage room. Months later I realized that no one will wear the poncho again, ever. I took several photos and then threw it away. I still have my memories, which is what I really treasure.

[kubiac]

I have thrown away or given away even things that hold sentimental value. I think the value is more in the memory you have, and not in the actual item.

 

For example, while decluttering my dad's house, I found the poncho my favorite aunt had knit for me when I was ten. She also made one for my sister. It was shortly before she died of cancer. I wore it all the time. I remember feeling like she had her arms wrapped around me even though she wasn't physically present. When I discovered the poncho in a closet, it was bedraggled, full of holes. I took it home and put it in our storage room. Months later I realized that no one will wear the poncho again, ever. I took several photos and then threw it away. I still have my memories, which is what I really treasure.

 

Yup. My grandfather carved my name out of wood when I was little. I have carted that everywhere I lived for decades. Over time the wood dried and became brittle. Over time it fell and broke and I glue it back together. The most recent time it was knocked over and broke I realized, "I think my grandpa would have been honored that I had that with me for 30 years. And that's enough." I threw it away. I also threw away a broken-and-repaired-many-times ceramic dove from Mexico that my favorite babysitter gave me when I was little. It was just a souvenir, and it served as a sentimental treasure for a loooong time, but eventually, I'd grown up and it was just time to not dust it and rearrange it on the shelf anymore.

[Onceuponatime]

 

For me, it's not that I don't know how or when to clean, it's that I feel like I'm shoveling during a blizzard that never ends. I am a perfectionist and I NEED to have it clean and decluttered or I get anxious and grouchy. I feel like it's all on me to pick up after everyone. So I usually end up not doing anything at all. Partly because it depresses me But after a week or 2 I go on a full-day cleaning binge because I need the inner peace. Then if so much as crumb falls on the floor and no one picks it up I will lose my mind, lol. So I guess I avoid cleaning:

 

2. because when I do, I inevitably turn into OCD monster mom

3. because it becomes overwhelming when I put it off too long

4. because if I don't have enough time to finish it they way I like it - I can't bother starting.

 

My solution (in theory, not practice) is to just suck it up, have a morning and evening routine, and stick to it . I just need that kick in the behind every day.

 

I relate to these feelings. I have tried using lists and routines, but the fact is that cleaning is dull, boring, monotonous, sometimes disgusting and disheartening, and never ending. But I LIKE things to BE clean, but they don't stay clean. So, sometimes it's just easier to give up on certain tasks until a real need becomes apparent, like dusting, lol. I also become a tyrant once I start on a cleaning binge. I don't like myself then.

[regentrude]

On the flip side of the fear of not having money, is the need to have money to be organized. We are living more comfortably now, but we are still on a budget, and it takes money to be well organized. Bins, baskets, crates, shelves, cabinets, and closet organizers all cost money. I would love to go crazy at IKEA buying things in order to be organized, but if there isn't any money or there is only a little bit of extra money, then it's nearly impossible to create storage space that can make things appear clean/uncluttered. I'd love to have creative, feasible ways to create storage on a tight budget.

 

I do not find that it takes much space OR much money. We have managed to be organized as a couple of poor grad students in a small apartment, as singles in a bedroom in an apartment shared with roommates, as a family of four in a 700 sq ft apartment without closets. (Having the larger house with closets now just invites more stuff.)

 

We store many of our things in cardboard boxes, neatly stacked in the closet or garage, every box labeled with the contents. I do not need a red/green plastic bin to store Christmas decorations; a cardbord box with a label works just as well (if I were OCD, I could decorate the box in leftover wrapping paper). Our camping gear is stored in banana crates (free from the grocery store).

For storing kitchen ingredients, I am using clear glass jars that used to contain pasta sauce or jam. Instead of tupperware containers for small items, I repurpose empty cream cheese, sour cream and yoghurt containers.

 

What I find much more important than having cute storage baskets is to put every item immediately where it belongs - that is what keeps clutter at bay.

[MomtoCandJ]

Everything!!!! :)

[dirty ethel rackham]

I haven't read all the replies, but I know I will get sucked in. What prevents me from cleaning? Too much stuff in the way, lack of energy. I still do it, but not as well as I should.

 

What prevents me from decluttering (which prevents me from cleaning)?

 

Feeling overwhelmed. The enormity of the task is very overwhelming. Many say that you can just do a small area at a time, but, in that small area are things that may need to go other places. But there is no room in those other places until they are decluttered. So, it just makes a big mess that needs to be cleaned up and taken care of.

 

"If you give a mouse a cookie" syndrome. It is hard to stay focused on the one thing. Because, as you declutter, you find a million other things that need to be handled/addressed. I find my self flitting from room to room and not completing anything.

 

Decision paralysis. I don't know what to do with stuff. Do I file it? What do I file it under? Do I toss it? Can I part with it? How can I keep it out of a landfill? Can I find someone to give it to? Is it still useful to be given to someone? Who would take it?

 

Fatigue. Decluttering takes physical, mental, and emotional energy that are in short supply. I can barely keep up with just the day-to-day stuff. I just can't face the decluttering.

[Carol in Cal.]

Well, this year I went through my extensive cookbook collection, and got rid of about 3 feet of shelf worth of cookbooks. This enabled me to fit my stack of cookbooks that was on the little table in the kitchen into the cookbook shelves. That enabled me to get rid of that little table, which we outgrew years ago but which was used as a clutter basin.

 

If I can picture things out that far, I do them. But the day to day chasing of other people's towels and laundry, and the organizing of things with no reasonable home but that I don't want to get rid of is something I just never quite do. Because it is miserable and hateful, and there is no good end to it.

[I.Dup.]

Honestly, I just don't enjoy it. I know HOW to clean, declutter, and organize. I could write a book about it, but I just don't want to do it. ANY system works if you actually do it. I'm simply more motivated to do other things. I DO make time to keep things relatively clean and organized, but I don't think I'll ever get every room looking perfect at the same time. I just don't care enough to drop more interesting pursuits in favor of a neater home.

 

 

This is the bottom line for me, if I'm honest. It's important for me to have a clean home, but my standards have changed over the years. Clean toilets, floors, and picked up rooms are my priority. The rest (dusting, organizing, cleaning windows, yardwork, etc) I just don't make a priority because there are other things I'd rather do with my time.

 

Also, it's very discouraging to spend an hour cleaning the kitchen only to have the whole thing completely messed up when your husband makes dinner.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

My DH. He places great value, both monetary and emotional, on collectibles, antiques and old items. He is always finding, buying or being given something that has to be kept forever. I don't mind the family pieces but the things that are kept just because they are old drive me crazy.

 

DH is also a stuffer. If he wants something put away he'll just open the nearest drawer or closet and stuff it in. I am always finding things in places they don't belong.

 

For years I would go through the house and clean, declutter and organize. I spent a lot of time going behind him and putting things where they belonged.

It's scary. The older we become the more I notice the differences between us. He wants more stuff; I am leaning more toward minimalism. It is a genuine point of concern in our marriage.

[Guest]

Here is something of a follow-up question for anyone who wants to answer:

 

If you have children (not babies/toddlers/preschoolers), do they have daily jobs? Weekly jobs? How conscience in general are they about whether they are making a mess?

 

Recently, my son had a friend spend the night. My word, that was the messiest child I've ever seen in my life. He practically trailed a mess behind him wherever he went. If he had a drink, he gave no thought to the cup afterword. If he changed his clothes, he left the discarded clothing wherever it landed. On it went like this with everything he did. I was thinking that if someone had three kids who operated like that, it would be practically impossible to keep things even remotely neat.

[Guest]

I do not find that it takes much space OR much money. We have managed to be organized as a couple of poor grad students in a small apartment, as singles in a bedroom in an apartment shared with roommates, as a family of four in a 700 sq ft apartment without closets. (Having the larger house with closets now just invites more stuff.) We store many of our things in cardboard boxes, neatly stacked in the closet or garage, every box labeled with the contents. I do not need a red/green plastic bin to store Christmas decorations; a cardbord box with a label works just as well (if I were OCD, I could decorate the box in leftover wrapping paper). Our camping gear is stored in banana crates (free from the grocery store). For storing kitchen ingredients, I am using clear glass jars that used to contain pasta sauce or jam. Instead of tupperware containers for small items, I repurpose empty cream cheese, sour cream and yoghurt containers. What I find much more important than having cute storage baskets is to put every item immediately where it belongs - that is what keeps clutter at bay.

 

I agree with this. Sometimes being able to afford to go to IKEA and buy a bank of bookcases just creates a bigger trap because if you have more places to put things, you have more comfort about keeping things or buying more things that you could do without. 90% of the reason I have my china is because I have a china cabinet - there's a place for it to go, so I might as well keep it; or so goes the rationale.

[Laura Corin]

Here is something of a follow-up question for anyone who wants to answer:

 

If you have children (not babies/toddlers/preschoolers), do they have daily jobs? Weekly jobs? How conscience in general are they about whether they are making a mess? When my boys were home educated, they had daily jobs. Now they just have jobs at weekends - they just don't have time on weekdays. At weekends they tidy the kitchen, unpack and repack the dishwasher, empty trash cans and sort laundry. They also do any other tasks when asked, usually tidying/cleaning their rooms, often hoovering/dusting public rooms, sometimes cleaning bathrooms. They also do such tasks as collecting kindling, bringing in wood and walking the dog.

 

Their being at school is a problem for keeping tidy: yes, they are out of the house for much of the day, but when they are home in the evenings they are exhausted and still working on homework, preparing for the next day, etc.

 

 

 

Laura

[dangermom]

My kids do have jobs, but they also produce an amazing amount of mess without noticing. I feel like I'm drowning in their stuff, and then they look around at the mess and say "I picked up all of my stuff." :glare:

 

We do have way too much stuff without any place to put it. I would kill for a basement. It's not junk, it's just that we all have interests and we have a small house. My sewing stuff, his computer/soldering stuff, their crafty stuff--it's all used and wanted, but where do we put it?

[regentrude]

If you have children (not babies/toddlers/preschoolers), do they have daily jobs? Weekly jobs? How conscience in general are they about whether they are making a mess?

 

 

My kids do not have fixed daily jobs. They help with setting/clearing table, emptying dishwasher, hanging laundry etc on an as-needed basis.

 

Their rooms and bathrooms are their responsibility. I try very hard not to nag about the mess they make in their own rooms. I need to remind them when they have to clean their bathrooms. But they are the only ones who have to live with their mess, it does not spread to the living area and kitchen. It's work in progress.

[laundrycrisis]

I'm asking this for research purposes for a book I'm writing. Is it hard to know how to clean (tools, materials, methods)? Is it hard to figure out when to clean what? If it's hard to declutter, what do you think is hard? Deciding what goes? What would help you to be more effective at cleaning and decluttering?

 

 

Distraction and pressure are my biggest roadblocks.

 

Being left 100% alone for an hour at a time on a regular basis, meaning no requests from kids, no whining/barking dogs, and no phone calls, and feeling like there is no pressure on me to meet someone else's standards, would be my ideal situation.

[I.Dup.]

My children do have chores, I just started them about 9 months ago and my oldest is 10. It really does make a BIG difference. I'm not sure they'd have enough initiative to pick up their clothes and put them away after taking them off, put toys away right away, etc, if they were at someone else's house. I usually have to remind them to do things like that (or do it myself). Initiative is something we will have to work on.

[mom31257]

Cleaning: I love the end result, but I don't enjoy doing it unless I can do the whole house in one day and the whole thing be totally clean at once. I rarely have a whole day I can devote to cleaning. I really like doing most of it myself, too, because no one else does it as well as I'd really like. Part of that is because there are things they don't know what to do with, so those get left alone.

 

Decluttering: We've lived on one, low income for a long time. The thing that hinders me most if always having that feeling that it will cost me money down the road is I get rid of something I need later. I also have the feeling that I might come across a time I could sell it to get money for it, and I end up keeping way too much that I'll probably never be able to sell.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Here is something of a follow-up question for anyone who wants to answer:

 

If you have children (not babies/toddlers/preschoolers), do they have daily jobs? Weekly jobs? How conscience in general are they about whether they are making a mess?

 

My children have daily jobs and weekly jobs. They aren't the neatest kids, but they aren't the messiest either. In addition to the regular chores, they regularly help pick up and are proficient in the "crisis clean" as in "hurry up, company is coming!" I did help my daughter declutter her room. I probably would have gotten rid of much more stuff, but she is like me - she has a hard time letting go of things. Most of the clutter is paper. And most of it is household stuff. I'm usually not too overwhelmed by their schoolwork paper as we have systems for those and they have a place. It is all the paper the comes into the house because we live there - usually my job to take care of it. Dh is a stuffer and a keeper. He cannot let ANYTHING go. So, here we have a frustrated perfectionist who has an emotional attatchment to stuff married to someone 10 times worse.

 

[amyable]

 

Recently, my son had a friend spend the night. My word, that was the messiest child I've ever seen in my life. He practically trailed a mess behind him wherever he went. If he had a drink, he gave no thought to the cup afterword. If he changed his clothes, he left the discarded clothing wherever it landed. On it went like this with everything he did. I was thinking that if someone had three kids who operated like that, it would be practically impossible to keep things even remotely neat.

 

These are my children.Five of them. No matter how much I nag or try to create habits. I think they are just creative dreamers (ADD!) and are too busy being in their own heads -- or they've rushed off because someone was doing something interesting -- to remember their drink, or their shoes, or their game, or what have you. Add to that the small-ish house, the 7 people, the no storage space and I have a problem.

 

That being said, they DO have daily chores and do contribute to the upkeep of the house. We are working on the jobs being done "well." i.e. without too many reminders and fully done (not "most of the dishes done but you forgot the pot on the stove, the jars for recycling, and the cups on the table." Sigh.

[amyable]

...and Amy slinks off into the Christmas sunset after killing the thread and becoming "that family" in Danielle's book. :leaving: :lol:

[Guest]

...and Amy slinks off into the Christmas sunset after killing the thread and becoming "that family" in Danielle's book. :leaving: :lol:

 

 

 

Page 47. :laugh: jk.

[amyable]

Page 47. :laugh: jk.

 

 

:coolgleamA: My 15 minutes of fame. :coolgleamA: :lol:

[Reya]

Yes, that's a major problem I haven't found the answer to, particularly when health limitations or disabilities are the reason. One woman in my writer's group mentioned this; she has MS. I do not have that limitation and don't know what the solution is.

 

 

 

Mhhmmm. I hear you. I do think homeschooling parents have a unique cleaning obstacle not faced by those whose kids go away during the day.

 

 

I have chronic problems that flare up and have figured out ways around them. When I'm REALLY sick, I still don't keep up, but most of the time, I can keep things pretty neat.

[Barb_]

It's just so tedious. I don't find cleaning therapeutic in the least, the way some people seem to. It's like shoveling snow uphill and I would so much rather be doing taxes or getting a root canal.

[Reya]

Here is something of a follow-up question for anyone who wants to answer:

 

If you have children (not babies/toddlers/preschoolers), do they have daily jobs? Weekly jobs? How conscience in general are they about whether they are making a mess?

 

Recently, my son had a friend spend the night. My word, that was the messiest child I've ever seen in my life. He practically trailed a mess behind him wherever he went. If he had a drink, he gave no thought to the cup afterword. If he changed his clothes, he left the discarded clothing wherever it landed. On it went like this with everything he did. I was thinking that if someone had three kids who operated like that, it would be practically impossible to keep things even remotely neat.

 

 

My kids operate like that. Cleaning has to be a separate effort for them. They do not automatically do ANY pick up as a part of doing something. So there is STILL a looooot of reminding that goes on, and a lot of checklists.

 

Some kids seem very resistant to training!

 

They have daily and weekly jobs. And they are entirely oblivious.