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PeterPan

s/o from Discouraged, now organizing to have time for the components of your life

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I read an excellent article in Fitness Magazine about self discipline. I was not able to find it on their site--perhaps, someone more talented than I could find it. It is titled Control Your Cravings Quick Fixes for Wimpy Willpower on the cover and Make it to the top inside the magazine. The info is taken from Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy F. Baumeister, PhD.

 

The main points are:

 

We only have a certain amount of willpower each day. So we need to limit our choices each day. My husband is the most discplined person I know and this is so true in his day to day life. He has the same breakfast everyday, he exercises at the same time throughout the week, ect. He doesn't sit around and wonder what is for breakfast. He has a healthy breakfast that he eats everyday. He doesn't wonder when he is going to exercise--he gets up early three times a week and does it.

 

Figure out out how to Focus. Noise sucks up energy. Electronics are mentioned--all the notifications we receive actually take energy away from our willpower. Listening to music while trying to accomplish things is a distraction when accomplishing things. It is suggested one use music to energize and then turn it off to work.

 

Eat for Energy--this is more focused on fitness, but I do notice that when I eat well I am able to accomplish more.

 

Plan Ahead---make your decisions ahead of time. It is suggested that one plan some things once a week and others monthly. I've found this to be true for me. I tend to do exactly what I always have done unless I plan ahead to do differently. If I don't think ahead about how my mornings are going to go, I get up and do the same thing I've been doing that I know doesn't work for me. But I still do it. If I have a plan in place for something different, I tend to get up and do the different thing.

 

Deal with stress--stress and willpower use the same energy, so when dealing with stress one's willpower usually decreases.

 

Follow you friends--one tends to act the same way as one's friends. Keep in mind your friends are not only those you see regularly. Those you interact with through Facebook, Twitter, online forums, ect affect your behavior as well. I need to find skinny friends with neat houses! :)

 

I know self discipline is a problem for me. Lately I've figured out that routines are the key to me changing. I think that ties into the plan ahead/get rid of choices. For the longest time, I equated routine with a boring life. Now I'm able to see that routine actually helps accomplish the necessary things without a lot of effort, so one can fit in all the other extra things that make life enjoyable.

 

I'm still in the thinking phase. I'm at a point where homeschooling is ending and I feel like I need to figure out a new focus. I don't know what that is yet. Still doing a lot of thinking.

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I have two two year olds, and a six year old, and what I discovered, about 6 months ago, is that I needed to deal with less stuff. Less clothes, less toys, less DVDs, less linens, less decorations, less everything! I donated a bunch of stuff, threw away the rest, and I've been able to keep at least the main area of my house presentable. That's not to say that it's always perfect, some days the living room floor is covered in toys, and no matter what I do it's rays that way. Those days I just lower my expectations, a lot. :)

 

Yes, less stuff. I was never a minimalist but we decluttered a lot. We tried to have a pick up time at 3 p.m. every day. When we went on vacation and stayed in a suite or cabin I was always struck by how little we truly needed. The kids seemed just as happy. Most of the time our house looked very lived in, but I aimed for at least one clean up per day to keep the chaos at bay.

 

Once when oldest dd was ten and and we had four under her, we were doing our afternoon pick up and the whole basement was a sea of toys. It was bad. Dd aged ten was in a grumpy mood and said, "WHY did we have to have so many KIDS???" I got after her but now it's funny. I can still hear her voice. Btw, we had two more babies after that.

 

We survived and so will you! One tip: cycle the toys so there aren't so many out at one time. Then after a week or a few weeks, put those away and get others out. It will be easier for you. Blessings!

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I have two two year olds, and a six year old, and what I discovered, about 6 months ago, is that I needed to deal with less stuff. Less clothes, less toys, less DVDs, less linens, less decorations, less everything! I donated a bunch of stuff, threw away the rest, and I've been able to keep at least the main area of my house presentable. That's not to say that it's always perfect, some days the living room floor is covered in toys, and no matter what I do it's rays that way. Those days I just lower my expectations, a lot. :)

 

I'm coming to that conclusion, too. I'm working on the decluttering. Mostly we're good, but there are a couple of rooms in the house that need to be purged, and wouldn't you know, those are the rooms the two year old is attracted to!

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We only have a certain amount of willpower each day. So we need to limit our choices each day.

 

Figure out out how to Focus. Noise sucks up energy.

 

Deal with stress--stress and willpower use the same energy, so when dealing with stress one's willpower usually decreases.

I'm starting to realize that these three things are all interrelated for me, and this is my biggest problem. I'm a HUGE introvert, and having the kids with me all day, every day, sets off all three of those triggers for me. Unfortunately, this leaves me with few mental and emotional resources for the rest of the hard stuff in my life--cleaning, organizing, eating healthfully, etc. I'm definitely not willing to quit homeschooling over it, but it's a real struggle for me to find it in me to do the un-fun parts of running a house when I feel like I'm already being bombarded just by never having time alone every day.

 

I know people say that quiet time every day is the answer, but it just has never seemed to work out properly for us. Our school day is long, and by the time we're done with schoolwork, we're into the window of the day where DD7 will fall asleep if left alone for too long (and then can't fall sleep until midnight if she naps). I'm a night owl, so getting up early enough to be ahead of the kids for more than a few minutes is incredibly difficult. But if I try to stay awake after the kids go to bed, DH is home and wanting to spend time together, and by the time he goes to bed, I have no energy for any of my personal projects and just end up falling asleep on the couch.

 

Ugh, typing that just really depressed me. Anyone have any thoughts on solving that dilemma? I'm trying to automate as many systems and eliminate as much pointless "noise" (useless email, Facebook stupidity, unnecessary clutter, etc.) as I can, but the real problem, unfortunately, seems to be homeschooling!

 

ETA: I'm sitting here decompressing from the day spent cleaning and yelling at the kids to clean, and DH just volunteered to have us all play a game. I think I might cry!

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I'm coming to that conclusion, too. I'm working on the decluttering. Mostly we're good, but there are a couple of rooms in the house that need to be purged, and wouldn't you know, those are the rooms the two year old is attracted to!

 

Of course she is! Those rooms are the most fun and interesting. Mine were the same way.

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We only have a certain amount of willpower each day.

Noise sucks up energy.

when dealing with stress one's willpower usually decreases.

 

I'm starting to realize that these three things are all interrelated for me, and this is my biggest problem. I'm a HUGE introvert, and having the kids with me all day, every day, sets off all three of those triggers for me. Unfortunately, this leaves me with few mental and emotional resources for the rest of the hard stuff in my life--cleaning, organizing, eating healthfully, etc.

 

Those 3 points in Miss Moe's post are so critical, IMO.

 

Sweet Morning Air, I can TOTALLY relate to your dilemma. I have the same one. I have 6 very young children and I'm pregnant with #7. I am an introvert and have sensory issues, especially regarding noise. Coming up with a streamlined, organized system for the running of our home is a feat of herculean power for me. But I am realizing how much easier that will make our large family life. I really liked what a PP said about having the mascot of the tortoise.

 

Also, I need alone time each day. My husband understands and respects this, and lets me go off to my room to read or nap while he spends time with the kids in the afternoon. Usually they just watch TV or play video games, but at least I can get some silence for awhile. I don't know how I would cope without it. I would talk to your husband about giving you a couple hour break each afternoon/evening. It may sound like a lot, but it takes me a good 30 minutes just to decompress.

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Those 3 points in Miss Moe's post are so critical, IMO.

 

Sweet Morning Air, I can TOTALLY relate to your dilemma. I have the same one. I have 6 very young children and I'm pregnant with #7. I am an introvert and have sensory issues, especially regarding noise. Coming up with a streamlined, organized system for the running of our home is a feat of herculean power for me. But I am realizing how much easier that will make our large family life. I really liked what a PP said about having the mascot of the tortoise.

 

Also, I need alone time each day. My husband understands and respects this, and lets me go off to my room to read or nap while he spends time with the kids in the afternoon. Usually they just watch TV or play video games, but at least I can get some silence for awhile. I don't know how I would cope without it. I would talk to your husband about giving you a couple hour break each afternoon/evening. It may sound like a lot, but it takes me a good 30 minutes just to decompress.

 

:grouphug: *sigh* I only have two! I feel even worse that you have 7 and I'm still complaining :lol:

 

DH doesn't get home until 7:30 or later every night, and then he has to eat his dinner and decompress from his day too. Plus, he's in sales, so he literally spends the entire day talking to people (he usually doesn't even get to eat lunch) so I feel terrible asking him to deal with the kids so I can have down time. Blech.

 

One of my New Year's resolutions is to get the kids into their rooms at 8:00 at night. They can do whatever they want in there, and they have to be in bed with lights out at 9:00, but they have to go in at 8:00. I'm hoping this will help all of us!

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:grouphug: *sigh* I only have two! I feel even worse that you have 7 and I'm still complaining :lol:

 

DH doesn't get home until 7:30 or later every night, and then he has to eat his dinner and decompress from his day too. Plus, he's in sales, so he literally spends the entire day talking to people (he usually doesn't even get to eat lunch) so I feel terrible asking him to deal with the kids so I can have down time. Blech.

 

One of my New Year's resolutions is to get the kids into their rooms at 8:00 at night. They can do whatever they want in there, and they have to be in bed with lights out at 9:00, but they have to go in at 8:00. I'm hoping this will help all of us!

 

Okay, here's another thing I do. I prayed and prayed and searched for years to find a babysitter I was comfortable with. We didn't find one until my oldest was 7. Since then we have been using the same family and I honestly feel it was a God thing that we found them. Their older girls (one got married and left us, the nerve) but now her sisters, age 18 and 20, come over several afternoons a week so I can rest. They come over for 2.5 hours at a time. I pay them by the month, not the hour. They are a very humble, kind, giving, Christian homeschool family who are so understanding and sweet and just honestly happy to help.

 

I would think about calling your local homeschool group and asking for recommendations of teen/young adult girls who can be a mother's helper for you. It really has been a huge blessing. Originally I was going to do something really productive with my time, but I almost always read or fall asleep in my room (especially when I am pregnant).

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Okay, here's another thing I do. I prayed and prayed and searched for years to find a babysitter I was comfortable with. We didn't find one until my oldest was 7. Since then we have been using the same family and I honestly feel it was a God thing that we found them. Their older girls (one got married and left us, the nerve) but now her sisters, age 18 and 20, come over several afternoons a week so I can rest. They come over for 2.5 hours at a time. I pay them by the month, not the hour. They are a very humble, kind, giving, Christian homeschool family who are so understanding and sweet and just honestly happy to help.

 

I would think about calling your local homeschool group and asking for recommendations of teen/young adult girls who can be a mother's helper for you. It really has been a huge blessing. Originally I was going to do something really productive with my time, but I almost always read or fall asleep in my room (especially when I am pregnant).

 

I toy with this idea from time to time, but I'm involved in our local HS group, and none of the kids there really cares to do this (another friend was recently looking for someone and couldn't find anyone outside of the occasional emergency). Plus, we live in a high COL area, so I'd be looking at pay $8-10 an hour or so, and we just can't afford that right now. I'm going to start working from home P/T next month though, so maybe it will be an option then. I also found an art class where both girls could attend at the same time for two hours a week, so that might be helpful too. At least I could get my grocery shopping done then :w00t:

 

What I wouldn't give for a nearby drop-off option. There's a HSing enrichment group that's affordable and would give me a four-hour break per week, but it's far enough that the driving adds too much to the cost and cuts the time benefit down significantly. I know there's a business opportunity in here somewhere, but that wouldn't help me with my issues, LOL!

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I think my 2 year old is my biggest problem. My almost 15 year old helps a lot, but she's also very slow with her schoolwork, so that takes up a majority of her day. And my 10 year old helps too, but he's in school and gone most of the day.

 

I guess I just need to wait for the 2 year old to grow up a bit more. :)

 

Ayup. It's just going to be crazy with a 2 year old, but they don't stay 2 forever. It passes.

 

And then there's often another one!

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Ayup. It's just going to be crazy with a 2 year old, but they don't stay 2 forever. It passes.

 

And then there's often another one!

That would take a major intervention from God Himself! As it is, the two year old was quite the unexpected blessing! LOL

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I'm starting to realize that these three things are all interrelated for me, and this is my biggest problem. I'm a HUGE introvert, and having the kids with me all day, every day, sets off all three of those triggers for me. Unfortunately, this leaves me with few mental and emotional resources for the rest of the hard stuff in my life--cleaning, organizing, eating healthfully, etc. I'm definitely not willing to quit homeschooling over it, but it's a real struggle for me to find it in me to do the un-fun parts of running a house when I feel like I'm already being bombarded just by never having time alone every day.

 

I know people say that quiet time every day is the answer, but it just has never seemed to work out properly for us. Our school day is long, and by the time we're done with schoolwork, we're into the window of the day where DD7 will fall asleep if left alone for too long (and then can't fall sleep until midnight if she naps). I'm a night owl, so getting up early enough to be ahead of the kids for more than a few minutes is incredibly difficult. But if I try to stay awake after the kids go to bed, DH is home and wanting to spend time together, and by the time he goes to bed, I have no energy for any of my personal projects and just end up falling asleep on the couch.

 

Ugh, typing that just really depressed me. Anyone have any thoughts on solving that dilemma? I'm trying to automate as many systems and eliminate as much pointless "noise" (useless email, Facebook stupidity, unnecessary clutter, etc.) as I can, but the real problem, unfortunately, seems to be homeschooling!

 

ETA: I'm sitting here decompressing from the day spent cleaning and yelling at the kids to clean, and DH just volunteered to have us all play a game. I think I might cry!

 

Start with making sure you're taking care of your health. I have felt that weight and frustration many times, and so often I can look back later and see it wasn't *really* so bad, but I was actually just exhausted or hormonal. Taking sublingual B complex helps me a lot. Prioritize sleep first.

 

I am also an introvert and totally understand what you mean by being overloaded after a day with the kids. I try to do quiet time, but sometimes it's just not feasible. I've tried "reframing" some things. For example, while the kids are reading or doing work, I sweep and listen to an audio book. I don't like to sweep, but it's quiet and methodical and brainless, and listening to an audiobook puts me in a little bubble and stimulates my brain. Same with folding laundry. I close the door and fold the laundry and I think of folding the laundry as my excuse for a few minutes by myself in quiet rather than my [most dreaded] chore.

 

And if you just build in a few order-keeping habits, you'll be amazed how much better you feel about your house and yourself! I often feel like I need to get away, when really I just need to get my work done so I actually enjoy being home.

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Here are some big changes I've made since reading GTD this past week:

Put "errands" on it's own page instead of on a calendar day.

Also, made project pages, with action steps for the projects.

m

I love this. I have some projects I would like to get done myself and I really need to plan them out.

I think my 2 year old is my biggest problem.

 

I guess I just need to wait for the 2 year old to grow up a bit more. :)

Yes, 2 y.o. are so hard. I agree that the only way to deal is to have less stuff. Personally I've never rotated toys as I don't like to store things. We just have fewer things and those things that have lots of pieces- especially small pieces are put away from the hands of little ones who like to dump as best as I can.

Those 3 points in Miss Moe's post ared so critical, IMO.

 

Sweet Morning Air, I can TOTALLY relate to your dilemma. I have the same one. I have 6 very young children and I'm pregnant with #7. I am an introvert and have sensory issues, especially regarding noise. Coming up with a streamlined, organized system for the running of our home is a feat of herculean power for me. But I am realizing how much easier that will make our large family life. I really liked what a PP said about having the mascot of the tortoise.

 

 

:grouphug: *sigh* I only have two! I feel even worse that you have 7 and I'm still complaining :lol:

 

DH doesn't get home until 7:30 or later every night, and then he has to eat his dinner and decompress from his day too. Plus, he's in sales, so he literally spends the entire day talking to people (he usually doesn't even get to eat lunch) so I feel terrible asking him to deal with the kids so I can have down time. Blech.

 

Oh, I'm an introvert as well. I hate lots of noise. My favorite time to myself is in the morning before anyone gets up. We do quiet time but it isn't the same, although it helps. It has really bothered me that I haven't been able to have it since my sleep has been messed up with pregnancy and a new baby. I'm really anxious to get back into a better routine because it really makes me feel very anxious/stressed.

 

Eating well really helps also. Having those little habits are key as well. I've focused on one thing at a time here. I keep going through things looking for what areas need improvement and tweaking as things change.

 

Today I hope to finish the deep cleaning since dh is gone to work and then I can start my paperwork items for the New Year. I'm really wanting to start listing my New Year's goals but I'm trying to stay focused on one thing at a time.

 

I'm dividing goals into:

Personal- Spiritual, Physical, and Mental

Family- Relationships, Schooling and Spiritual

Home- Monthly and Yearly Financial Goals- Projects to Complete

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If I read Mystie' s web site posts "31Days to GTD for Homemakers", would it still be beneficial for me to read the book? I am about 1/3 of the way through the 31 days. It makes sense, but it's not all brand new information. Maybe he's just pulled it together in a unique way. I am just guessing as I haven't read the book.

 

On the slate for today: continue my brain dump, do what was on my to do list for yesterday that I didn't get done (UGH), and continue reading Mystie's web site.

 

Off to slay my dragons!

 

Mystie's blog does a great job of breaking down GTD. I found GTD to be helpful even after reading the blog, but "31 days" will give you the gist of it since you are having a hard time getting a hold of the book. Some of the things in GTD are things I have always done. I found two things especially unique. One was the brain dump. Getting all those thoughts out of my head made them more manageable. The second thing goes along with the first. You have to have a plan to deal with those tasks and projects once you write them down. I have always liked to make lists, but they just get piled up... or half started... or lost... I actually have a method in place now.

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Between Christmas and a nasty stomach bug we've been dealing with, I am feeling behind. This seems to be the story of my life lately: two steps forward, one step back. I also have a 2 yo. :) I'm trying to be okay with this, though. I know that life is in constant flux when you are dealing with newborns and toddlers, so I am just trying to embrace the season I am in right now. I will get there eventually if I just keep going at this with baby steps. Today's job is tackling the school room. It needs a deep cleaning and then the goal is going to be maintaining that so it doesn't become so unmanageable.

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Ayup. It's just going to be crazy with a 2 year old, but they don't stay 2 forever. It passes.

 

And then there's often another one!

 

 

 

Lol, yup, story of my life! I have a 2 year old boy (the worst breed of 2 year old imo) and he takes easily twice as much time/attention as the 4.5 year old and newborn combined! I cringe at the idea my sweet baby girl will be 2 in not too long. I pray every day i can get my son to 3 alive, he's that bad, before christmas he even fell off my bed jumping and had to get 7 stitches. I'm forever pulling him out of dangerous or just unusual situations.

 

The only things that help with 2 year olds are playpens, baby gates, and an early bedtime, lol!

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I'm starting to realize that these three things are all interrelated for me, and this is my biggest problem. I'm a HUGE introvert, and having the kids with me all day, every day, sets off all three of those triggers for me. Unfortunately, this leaves me with few mental and emotional resources for the rest of the hard stuff in my life--cleaning, organizing, eating healthfully, etc. I'm definitely not willing to quit homeschooling over it, but it's a real struggle for me to find it in me to do the un-fun parts of running a house when I feel like I'm already being bombarded just by never having time alone every day.

 

I know people say that quiet time every day is the answer, but it just has never seemed to work out properly for us. Our school day is long, and by the time we're done with schoolwork, we're into the window of the day where DD7 will fall asleep if left alone for too long (and then can't fall sleep until midnight if she naps). I'm a night owl, so getting up early enough to be ahead of the kids for more than a few minutes is incredibly difficult. But if I try to stay awake after the kids go to bed, DH is home and wanting to spend time together, and by the time he goes to bed, I have no energy for any of my personal projects and just end up falling asleep on the couch.

 

Ugh, typing that just really depressed me. Anyone have any thoughts on solving that dilemma? I'm trying to automate as many systems and eliminate as much pointless "noise" (useless email, Facebook stupidity, unnecessary clutter, etc.) as I can, but the real problem, unfortunately, seems to be homeschooling!

 

ETA: I'm sitting here decompressing from the day spent cleaning and yelling at the kids to clean, and DH just volunteered to have us all play a game. I think I might cry!

 

 

I am right there with you! I do enforce quiet time every day, though. SWB had the funniest speech where she talked about quiet time growing up and with her own kids. Reminded me of my house. The kids finally separated and mom lolled on the couch eating chocolate, exhausted. :coolgleamA: Unfortunately, my kids are not often "quiet" during quiet time. You would think after 11 years, at least one of them would figure it out!!!

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Looking back (and my memory may be foggy!) I think the things that helped the most with 2 yos was thoroughly toddler proofing the house, so that I didn't have to worry about getting into cabinets, pulling books off shelves, that sort of thing. The other thing that helped a lot was routine (like having that quiet time every afternoon). The third thing was setting up our learning area with lots of Montessori inspired things that only came out during school time. That way the 2 year old would be busy with the Montessori stuff while the older kids would be at the table doing seatwork kind of stuff.

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Start with making sure you're taking care of your health. I have felt that weight and frustration many times, and so often I can look back later and see it wasn't *really* so bad, but I was actually just exhausted or hormonal. Taking sublingual B complexhelps me a lot. Prioritize sleep first.

 

I am also an introvert and totally understand what you mean by being overloaded after a day with the kids. I try to do quiet time, but sometimes it's just not feasible. I've tried "reframing" some things. For example, while the kids are reading or doing work, I sweep and listen to an audio book. I don't like to sweep, but it's quiet and methodical and brainless, and listening to an audiobook puts me in a little bubble and stimulates my brain. Same with folding laundry. I close the door and fold the laundry and I think of folding the laundry as my excuse for a few minutes by myself in quiet rather than my [most dreaded] chore.

 

And if you just build in a few order-keeping habits, you'll be amazed how much better you feel about your house and yourself! I often feel like I need to get away, when really I just need to get my work done so I actually enjoy being home.

 

Eating well really helps also. Having those little habits are key as well. I've focused on one thing at a time here. I keep going through things looking for what areas need improvement and tweaking as things change.

 

 

I am right there with you! I do enforce quiet time every day, though. SWB had the funniest speech where she talked about quiet time growing up and with her own kids. Reminded me of my house. The kids finally separated and mom lolled on the couch eating chocolate, exhausted. :coolgleamA: Unfortunately, my kids are not often "quiet" during quiet time. You would think after 11 years, at least one of them would figure it out!!!

 

 

I'm definitely working on some of the better self-care habits. Some of my supplements started giving me trouble before I had my kidney and gall bladder problems dealt with, and I was a little afraid to start taking them again. But I need to get back to most of them (the basic ones), and my first priority among my New Year's goals is to start going to bed at a decent time every night. Quiet time is in there too. We don't start back to school until the 5th (we school on weekends), so I'll have a few days to try to get rested before we get the rest of the train back on the track!

 

I'm dividing goals into:

Personal- Spiritual, Physical, and Mental

Family- Relationships, Schooling and Spiritual

Home- Monthly and Yearly Financial Goals- Projects to Complete

 

 

I think I'm going to spin off a thread on this. I started making my goals list, and I'm curious to see what others' plans and lists look like.

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Lol, yup, story of my life! I have a 2 year old boy (the worst breed of 2 year old imo) and he takes easily twice as much time/attention as the 4.5 year old and newborn combined! I cringe at the idea my sweet baby girl will be 2 in not too long. I pray every day i can get my son to 3 alive, he's that bad, before christmas he even fell off my bed jumping and had to get 7 stitches. I'm forever pulling him out of dangerous or just unusual situations.

 

The only things that help with 2 year olds are playpens, baby gates, and an early bedtime, lol!

 

Yes, I have one of those! A two-year-old-tornado. Parenting this child has been a very humbling experience!

 

 

Interesting that a few of us are thinking about self-care stuff. I made a section in my 'everything' folder for self-care, divided into physical, spiritual & #3 *I haven't thought of a label yet, but it's for my music practice and my books, maybe recharge or relax or something*

Physical involves exercise, weight loss plan, eating well for energy, making sure I take care of my skin, and the little daily things that only takes a minute so I perpetually put it off - things like brushing my hair and flossing my teeth.

Spiritual is my bible reading/devotions, prayers and thoughts. This is something in my life that I need, but which I constantly avoid.

 

I also realised that my biggest time waster in the morning is picking my clothes, I need to lay them out, know that they'll fit, know that I'll feel comfortable and good about myself... Otherwise it's a depressing exercise that leaves another job for me to do - put the discarded clothes away again *sigh*

 

 

Oh yes, so I bought my dividers and began putting my folder together. I printed off a stack of lesson plan and meal plan templates to go in there and get me started. I think I need to print off an exercise one too... I also bought over 1000 stickers :ph34r:. One week of meal planning done? *Grrrrrreat!* with a picture of a lion :D I promise I'll save some stickers for my piano students too!

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Yes, I have one of those! A two-year-old-tornado. Parenting this child has been a very humbling experience.

 

 

I have no idea if this would work for anyone else's two-year-old but thought I'd throw it out. When my 13yo was a VERY active two-year-old another mom at our hs support group gave a talk on ideas for toddlers. I took notes! The biggest hit with our little guy was a rice box. I bought a large flat Rubbermaid box with a lid, and several bags of white rice. Then we added plastic animals, toy cars, measuring cups, etc. Any kind of sandbox toys. He loved it and would sit and play in it for an hour or more. Our two rules were: don't throw it, and don't eat it. If he did either of these, the rice box was put away. I used a few other ideas of hers which I would happily share if anyone is interested.

 

And yes, I had to vacuum up a little spilled rice, but it was worth it.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

 

I'm so very very very tempted, but I feel like I'll miss out if I quit FB. Our HS group discusses issues and plans events on there, sometimes friends post if they're going somewhere with an open invite, etc. I would LOVE to take the leap, but I don't think I can do it.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

 

I gave up facebook at the beginning of Advent and started hanging out here again and it is great! Before I was so distracted by chatting with other mom (which you think would help but the focus was different) and old friends and getting all involved with politics. I was really not engaged the way I should have been in our home life. Now that I've dropped fb (which was sad because I have at least 3 friends that I only ever talked to on fb) I truly am starting to focus more on my kids, our lifestyle of learning, trying to be a good mom. I feel really refreshed. I'm so glad SWB has this board. You ladies (and the occasional gentleman!) are so inspiring.

 

Facebook is great but at this season in my life, when I only have so much time and energy, I just have to focus on the more immediate and important things first and that's homeschooling and running a healthy household. Those are primary and fb really distracted me from that.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

Not really- my older girls and out of state friends and I keep in touch via FB. But I do really limit any IM I do. We also just apointed ds 18 as social media guru for a couple of things - he was thrilled, I am relieved. He just ordered: "Tweeting for Seniors for Dummies" for me (ACK!!!- I actually do have a Twitter account that I do use, but I just don't "get" some of it- kwim. Anyway, we are using it for a biz and treating it like a biz tool.

 

I have no idea if this would work for anyone else's two-year-old but thought I'd throw it out. When my 13yo was a VERY active two-year-old another mom at our hs support group gave a talk on ideas for toddlers. I took notes! The biggest hit with our little guy was a rice box. I bought a large flat Rubbermaid box with a lid, and several bags of white rice. Then we added plastic animals, toy cars, measuring cups, etc. Any kind of sandbox toys. He loved it and would sit and play in it for an hour or more. Our two rules were: don't throw it, and don't eat it. If he did either of these, the rice box was put away. I used a few other ideas of hers which I would happily share if anyone is interested.

 

And yes, I had to vacuum up a little spilled rice, but it was worth it.

 

We had a rice box on and off for years- you can color the rice with a couple Tbs. hydrogen peroxide and food coloring. Makes it that much more fun. And PlaySkool used to sell a sand table- I haven't seen them lately, but they have water tables that you could use with play sand. A friend of mine actually built a sandbox in her basement (cement floors) - great idea if you have long winters! Toddlers are tornados!

 

 

Interesting that a few of us are thinking about self-care stuff. I made a section in my 'everything' folder for self-care, divided into physical, spiritual & #3 *I haven't thought of a label yet, but it's for my music practice and my books, maybe recharge or relax or something*

Physical involves exercise, weight loss plan, eating well for energy, making sure I take care of my skin, and the little daily things that only takes a minute so I perpetually put it off - things like brushing my hair and flossing my teeth.

Spiritual is my bible reading/devotions, prayers and thoughts. This is something in my life that I need, but which I constantly avoid.

 

I also realised that my biggest time waster in the morning is picking my clothes, I need to lay them out, know that they'll fit, know that I'll feel comfortable and good about myself... Otherwise it's a depressing exercise that leaves another job for me to do - put the discarded clothes away again *sigh*

 

 

 

One of the things I've done to prep for the New Year (action plan) under self care was to read The 4 Hour Body (by Ferris- he wrote The 4 Hour Work Week, too). Great info, some of which we are already implementing- he proposes something like the Gap diet- but w.o it being so complicated. Also, info on body building, sex, etc. Ferris is a unique character but intriguing and scientific in his approach.

Also, I used to implement a Bible Study program -I can't remember the name of the gal that wrote a book about it, but you read the Bible in a Year and after each reading, write down the scripture that really spoke to you, what God is impressing on your heart, what you need to release. I'm going to starting that this year.

Don't get me started on clothes. I still don't have a real closet and my clothes are one of main things on my "Bug" list.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

Not really- my older girls and out of state friends and I keep in touch via FB. But I do really limit any IM I do. We also just apointed ds 18 as social media guru for a couple of things - he was thrilled, I am relieved. He just ordered: "Tweeting for Seniors for Dummies" for me (ACK!!!- I actually do have a Twitter account that I do use, but I just don't "get" some of it- kwim. Anyway, we are using it for a biz and treating it like a biz tool.

 

I have no idea if this would work for anyone else's two-year-old but thought I'd throw it out. When my 13yo was a VERY active two-year-old another mom at our hs support group gave a talk on ideas for toddlers. I took notes! The biggest hit with our little guy was a rice box. I bought a large flat Rubbermaid box with a lid, and several bags of white rice. Then we added plastic animals, toy cars, measuring cups, etc. Any kind of sandbox toys. He loved it and would sit and play in it for an hour or more. Our two rules were: don't throw it, and don't eat it. If he did either of these, the rice box was put away. I used a few other ideas of hers which I would happily share if anyone is interested.

 

And yes, I had to vacuum up a little spilled rice, but it was worth it.

 

We had a rice box on and off for years- you can color the rice with a couple Tbs. hydrogen peroxide and food coloring. Makes it that much more fun. And PlaySkool used to sell a sand table- I haven't seen them lately, but they have water tables that you could use with play sand. A friend of mine actually built a sandbox in her basement (cement floors) - great idea if you have long winters! Toddlers are tornados!

 

 

Interesting that a few of us are thinking about self-care stuff. I made a section in my 'everything' folder for self-care, divided into physical, spiritual & #3 *I haven't thought of a label yet, but it's for my music practice and my books, maybe recharge or relax or something*

Physical involves exercise, weight loss plan, eating well for energy, making sure I take care of my skin, and the little daily things that only takes a minute so I perpetually put it off - things like brushing my hair and flossing my teeth.

Spiritual is my bible reading/devotions, prayers and thoughts. This is something in my life that I need, but which I constantly avoid.

 

I also realised that my biggest time waster in the morning is picking my clothes, I need to lay them out, know that they'll fit, know that I'll feel comfortable and good about myself... Otherwise it's a depressing exercise that leaves another job for me to do - put the discarded clothes away again *sigh*

 

 

 

One of the things I've done to prep for the New Year (action plan) under self care was to read The 4 Hour Body (by Ferris- he wrote The 4 Hour Work Week, too). Great info, some of which we are already implementing- he proposes something like the Gap diet- but w.o it being so complicated. Also, info on body building, sex, etc. Ferris is a unique character but intriguing and scientific in his approach.

Also, I used to implement a Bible Study program -I can't remember the name of the gal that wrote a book about it, but you read the Bible in a Year and after each reading, write down the scripture that really spoke to you, what God is impressing on your heart, what you need to release. I'm going to starting that this year.

Don't get me started on clothes. I still don't have a real closet and my clothes are one of main things on my "Bug" list.

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I don't do facebook so no worries there. I can spend too much time online though, however being more scheduled helps greatly with that. It has been much easier to stay off since the baby was born, since the board was down at the same time as well it kind of broke the habit a bit. We also had 2 funerals in that time, the holidays and dh was home about 3 wks here and there. I hope to keep up with my limited time online. I'm trying to focus more on what I want to get done instead of being online instead of thinking about staying off of it. I don't know if that makes any sense. I'm working on my goal lists right now and my brain is not working well.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

 

I do not find fb time consuming at all because of the way I use it:

I mainly use fb to communicate with the other moms in our local homeschool group, setting up playdates , sharing info, keeping in touch.

I have limited my list of friends to actual friends. Of those, I have limited the number of people whose updates I want to see, and I have greatly restricted what I want to see: no likes, comments, games.

I never click on any video links.

And I refuse to get sucked into heated controversial discussions on fb.

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I am having a hard time with limiting internet time. For those of you who inspired this thread- Alta Veste, Mystie, how do you keep up the motivation to not waste time? I start thinking it's not going to matter if the kids are playing nicely, etc. I don't know how to have the mental motivation to stick to a more regimented, rigid schedule.

 

I'm almost finished with Switch and I really enjoyed it. I like the concept of motivating the Rider and the Elephant. I still don't know how that would work with internet time...I get that it takes self control, but I need to motivation to inspire that self control and maybe I'm just not there yet? (being online) is really the only thing I have in my life that I enjoy, and I still am able to get the bare bones done so it's not as if my house is completely falling apart around me. I just would ideally like to do more than that though...obviously not enough to stick to a change yet, though.

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I do not find fb time consuming at all because of the way I use it:

I mainly use fb to communicate with the other moms in our local homeschool group, setting up playdates , sharing info, keeping in touch.

I have limited my list of friends to actual friends. Of those, I have limited the number of people whose updates I want to see, and I have greatly restricted what I want to see: no likes, comments, games.

I never click on any video links.

And I refuse to get sucked into heated controversial discussions on fb.

 

 

Yeah, I don't use it that way, and have never been able to use it that way. :laugh: That's why I'd rather just scrap it. I'm also feeling uneasy about the data mining that's going on, but that's a whole 'nother thread.

 

I only brought up the FB thing because in zen to done, he talks about limiting inboxes, and that is one I think would do me a lot of good to give up. But then I fear I will miss something important! :smilielol5:

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No Facebook here, but the internet can be a challenge to control. I often find I lose track of time there faster than anywhere else, except perhaps when I'm reading, writing or cooking. Cooking is probably the worst--time just vanishes.

Setting a timer sometimes helps, but it's easy to go turn it off and convince myself that I just need to finish this, and then....well.

What has worked the best is just having times when I know I am not to be sitting at the computer. Then I can enjoy the times, like during these few holidays, when I can!

 

Another thing that helped with creating the willpower happened this past year when I gave up the Internet for Lent. Yup. No internet at all. Not even for news or weather. I think I finished about three books on my reading list during that time. It was well worth the effort. I'm considering doing it again this year. Having the goal to do without during Lent was useful in providing the additional will-power.

 

As to wasting time, I found that when I had my own time, and wasn't taking it from other places, I was much more careful of it than I had been. It's nice to fritter time now and then, but that's what holidays are for. That might be something worth considering when it comes to scheduling time for yourself. Book yourself a holiday for just doing whatever you want to do just as a reward. Rewards are important in maintaining motivation. As an example, to reward myself for exercising (and just because I'm worth it to me!) I buy myself flowers every few weeks. It's such a treat to go pick them out, bring them home and get to look at them every day. Internet time could be a treat as well.

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So...has anyone given up/thought about giving up facebook while embarking on this project. I've been ready and willing to give it up in the past, but never made the leap. I just feel like it will simplify my life more if I feel one less obligation to check it. Thoughts?

 

I quit fb a while back and only recently joined under an alias. So i dont get any friend requests, which is lovely lol and dont feel pressured to go very often. Oh, and i never post anything, mostly lurk, join a couple of groups, that is it. My big time waster is here!

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I have thought of giving up FB but then I would miss the cute pics of my two nieces' kids who live in another state, etc. I don't spend much time there and don't even visit daily. I block people who post annoying stuff.

 

Question: what do you DO with all the brain dump stuff? I don't want to have a dozen different notebooks or a complicated system I won't keep up. I bought a calendar/planner at Target that has month-at-a-glance and week-at-a-glance pages for keeping track of birthdays, appts, etc. It has 8.5 x 11 pages so plenty of room for writing. I already have a binder for recipes and ones for school. Trying to envision how many binders I would need, or what alternate system I might use. I'm trying to picture how it will all mesh together...project plans, ideas for the future, etc. I feel like I am stumbling in a dark room feeling for the light switch that will illuminate everything for me. Maybe I just need to get the GTD book. Maybe that would explain it. I need to finish reading Mystie's posts, too.

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Yes I have similar stuff but could definitely stand to set up a couple more sensory boxes. I may even set up a sand/water table in the basement though I'll need to tidy up a bit so there's floor space. We have big plans to finish the basement and have moved that to the top of our priority list because of our two year old, lol! I keep joking I'm going to carpet it and put padded walls, a ball pit, toys, and just let the boys run wild down there :)

 

On the organization front I got my GTD notebook set up and did one for DH and he actually likes it! I'm basing it off a few blogs and the GTD book, i'll try to post a link to pics later on.

 

The quiet time/personal time discussion is very good timing for me. I've slacked on requiring my oldest to do quiet time and I really need to get back to it in the new year. It'll encourage him to relax and read more too, he used to read all the time but lately he and his brother have been having so much fun roughhousing together that reading took a back seat. As much as they love each other some separate time would be a good thing for them.

 

 

 

I have no idea if this would work for anyone else's two-year-old but thought I'd throw it out. When my 13yo was a VERY active two-year-old another mom at our hs support group gave a talk on ideas for toddlers. I took notes! The biggest hit with our little guy was a rice box. I bought a large flat Rubbermaid box with a lid, and several bags of white rice. Then we added plastic animals, toy cars, measuring cups, etc. Any kind of sandbox toys. He loved it and would sit and play in it for an hour or more. Our two rules were: don't throw it, and don't eat it. If he did either of these, the rice box was put away. I used a few other ideas of hers which I would happily share if anyone is interested.

 

And yes, I had to vacuum up a little spilled rice, but it was worth it.

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Mystie's posts explain a lot, as do the later book chapters (i got tired of the theory and skipped ahead in the book). But essentially from what i can tell you end up using a calendar for hard and fast dates (appointments, scheduled things), an inbox for new items you need to do/deal with, and a notebook for action items, projects, etc. and a file cabinet properly organized for all reference materials. So really it's a more comprehensive, orderly, and streamlined version of the systems most people already use.

 

I have thought of giving up FB but then I would miss the cute pics of my two nieces' kids who live in another state, etc. I don't spend much time there and don't even visit daily. I block people who post annoying stuff.

 

Question: what do you DO with all the brain dump stuff? I don't want to have a dozen different notebooks or a complicated system I won't keep up. I bought a calendar/planner at Target that has month-at-a-glance and week-at-a-glance pages for keeping track of birthdays, appts, etc. It has 8.5 x 11 pages so plenty of room for writing. I already have a binder for recipes and ones for school. Trying to envision how many binders I would need, or what alternate system I might use. I'm trying to picture how it will all mesh together...project plans, ideas for the future, etc. I feel like I am stumbling in a dark room feeling for the light switch that will illuminate everything for me. Maybe I just need to get the GTD book. Maybe that would explain it. I need to finish reading Mystie's posts, too.

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Thank you! That doesn't sound too terribly complicated. I have used these tools already but not exactly in the same way, or with the same mindset, as I am reading about here. Accountability helps me so much, which is why I keep coming to this thread. Will a social group be set up for this one they have them again here at WTM?

 

We are having our kitchen redone, gutted, and new flooring installed in our living and dining rooms also, which of course means moving everything out. I am looking forward to decluttering all the drawers and cabinets! I need to pick up more boxes for books, kitchen stuff, etc., tomorrow. It will be a pain for a few weeks, but I prefer to focus on how nice it will be when it is done.

 

I look forward to reading posts about all the progress everyone will be making in 2013. :-)

 

A joyful and blessed New Year to all of you!

 

 

 

Mystie's posts explain a lot, as do the later book chapters (i got tired of the theory and skipped ahead in the book). But essentially from what i can tell you end up using a calendar for hard and fast dates (appointments, scheduled things), an inbox for new items you need to do/deal with, and a notebook for action items, projects, etc. and a file cabinet properly organized for all reference materials. So really it's a more comprehensive, orderly, and streamlined version of the systems most people already use.

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Thanks Manda for the info, it was sounding complicated to me as well and I hate complicated. I already have an inbox. I have a calendar that I use but it is not ideal- I need more space for writing. I need an address book as well as I've completely lost mine or perhaps I decluttered it :) I haven't had any big projects in awhile but I do have a notebook I use when planning things out. I do have a binder I started at the beginning of last year but it is mostly financial stuff, I'd like to add to that and make it more general household purpose.

 

Critterfixer- I always give up the internet for Lent as well. I found it harder last year though as I couldn't completely abstain as I lead a few groups and their only contact to me is through email. I also allowed myself online for recipes and hs stuff. This year I will have to go back to being more strict. I need specific guidelines to make it work for me.

 

I finished the deep cleaning I wanted to do for now. I've started making goal lists. Today I will be menu planning as tonight I'm grocery shopping. We are starting back to school today as well. I've got windows on my list for cleaning, I think everything else is in fair shape. We didn't have a chance to work on the basement last night but dh said he hopes to have it ready for furniture by Wednesday- and then on to the finishing of the floor so it is usable.

 

Tomorrow will be finishing out the budget for the year and month and streamlining my budget binder.

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Today I'm hashing out my goals for January. Last night I made a list of goals for the new year, and now I need to break them down into monthly goals. I think that's what I generally do wrong every year: I don't break down the big goals, so I lose interest.

 

Beyond that I need to menu plan today and maybe hit the grocery store. I have GTD on hold at the library, and they're being slow about transferring it to my local branch. Hopefully later this week I can pick it up. I need to start reading Switch, which I have here at home. I'm having trouble getting into it though.

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I'm almost done reading zen to done. I'm goi to follow his advice and just work on a couple of habits ata time. I'll be posting about It on my blog if anyone is interested!

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I am having a hard time with limiting internet time. For those of you who inspired this thread- Alta Veste, Mystie, how do you keep up the motivation to not waste time? I start thinking it's not going to matter if the kids are playing nicely, etc. I don't know how to have the mental motivation to stick to a more regimented, rigid schedule.

 

 

Um. I often don't. That's the reason I read and write and think on the topic so much -- I need it so badly myself and I actually find it very difficult!

 

Particularly during the last weeks of pregnancy and then during c-section recovery, I have created even worse habits of wasting time online.

 

It did help immensely when I took Zen to Done's recommendation and turned off all alerts and notifications on my iPod Touch and laptop. I got off FB & Twitter (my husband, a software & web developer, thinks FB is dishonest and untrustworthy). I tie little chores to meal times when I'm off, and I designate times for starting school and doing a chunk of housework where I have to get up and off (for awhile I even had my husband set the router so our wifi went down at certain times, including bedtime). :) Also, I have two irl friends with whom I IM (more like sending a text than like chatting) on Google Talk. We'll say things like, "I'm going to go do laundry and not come back until it's all done." Then report when we're done, too. It helps to tell someone. I'm not good at all at being accountable to myself. :)

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It did help immensely when I took Zen to Done's recommendation and turned off all alerts and notifications on my iPod Touch and laptop. I got off FB & Twitter (my husband, a software & web developer, thinks FB is dishonest and untrustworthy).

 

I see that Zen to Done is only 2.99 on Kindle. Hmmm. Also, I am curious. Why does your husband think Facebook is dishonest and untrustworthy? I have considered deleting my account, though I do like seeing family photos on there.

 

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After a bunch of reading and thinking over post from this thread- especially the hipster idea I've realized what my biggest stumbling block is: phone calls, especially phone calls that require prepping some paperwork first. They are the frog I dread and I will do anything to procrastinate. Simple things like calling the car insurance agent to ask a question so I can re-send a child's good student's discount forms in. I start avoiding my desk and after a few days I have a huge backlog piled on my desk in all sorts of unrelated categories to the original "frog". If that makes sense. Besides the backlog I have an overall sense of being behind that makes me restless and dissatisfied with myself.

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Oh my goodness, my older son just asked me for a notebook...and then asked how to spell "home"....to make his own "Home Notebook" like mine, lol! I convinced him to name it "T-rex's Notebook" instead and he's writing a to-do list in it with check boxes and everything :laugh: Not sure what a 4 year old has to get done really but hey, maybe he'll keep these organized habits when he's 14. A mom can dream right?

 

Susan, I avoid phone calls too. In my notebook under Next Actions I put a "To Call" sticky note with a list of people I need to call.

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Oh my goodness, my older son just asked me for a notebook...and then asked how to spell "home"....to make his own "Home Notebook" like mine, lol! I convinced him to name it "T-rex's Notebook" instead and he's writing a to-do list in it with check boxes and everything :laugh: Not sure what a 4 year old has to get done really but hey, maybe he'll keep these organized habits when he's 14. A mom can dream right?

 

My DH is quite the list maker. He's got my middle three children making lists. Aren't they the cutest things ever?! And yes, I'm hoping they hold onto the skill into their teens. So far so good!

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I see that Zen to Done is only 2.99 on Kindle. Hmmm. Also, I am curious. Why does your husband think Facebook is dishonest and untrustworthy? I have considered deleting my account, though I do like seeing family photos on there.

 

 

Another 2.99 kindle book that's helpful is Tell Your Time. She explains how to think of a schedule like a budget and set up an "envelope system" for it.

 

Here are a couple articles that give a feel for FB behind-the-scene: http://readwrite.com/2012/12/26/yes-randi-zuckerberg-please-lecture-us-about-human-decency & http://www.businessinsider.com/well-these-new-zuckerberg-ims-wont-help-facebooks-privacy-problems-2010-5. Basically, my husband (who keeps up with tech news) says there's no such thing as privacy on FB.

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I am having a hard time with limiting internet time. For those of you who inspired this thread- Alta Veste, Mystie, how do you keep up the motivation to not waste time? I start thinking it's not going to matter if the kids are playing nicely, etc. I don't know how to have the mental motivation to stick to a more regimented, rigid schedule.

 

I'm almost finished with Switch and I really enjoyed it. I like the concept of motivating the Rider and the Elephant. I still don't know how that would work with internet time...I get that it takes self control, but I need to motivation to inspire that self control and maybe I'm just not there yet? (being online) is really the only thing I have in my life that I enjoy, and I still am able to get the bare bones done so it's not as if my house is completely falling apart around me. I just would ideally like to do more than that though...obviously not enough to stick to a change yet, though.

 

 

Well, I do waste time. And I don't feel guilty. Anymore... :D Having extra time (which can be wasted or spent on more fruitful pursuits) is one of the best effects of this process. The cool thing is that when you get all your ducks in a row, you are more purposeful about getting things done. This makes you more efficient, which leaves you calmer and gives you more free time. I have known the guilt of surfing the web when I had 100 more important, worthwhile, necessary things to do. At some point it occurred to me that I could spend the vast majority of my time feeling guilty (and therefore miserable) or I could just get things done so that I didn't have the burden of guilt when I did waste time. Guilt can be a wonderful gift. For me, it was my conscience telling me to fix myself. :lol:

 

Now, if you truly can't walk away from the keyboard, can your DH hide the computer adapter in the house and only give it to you at specified times? Or... How old is your oldest child? Can you say to kiddo, "Mom is going to work on the habit of spending too much time at the computer. I would like your help." You can give kiddo a copy of your schedule and/or a timer and/or permission to literally unplug you.

 

I do not know you, so please don't take offense. I am posting what follows for everyone because I am sure someone on this thread will benefit from the following (post #7 specifically)... http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/363797-hey-daisy/ I admire Daisy so much for this post, this choice. Her post made me think seriously about my kids' perspectives. A wake-up call for sure...

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