Stayseeliz Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Has anyone found that it's possible to be really involved when you travel 30+ minutes to church? Our church is 35 minutes away and a lot of the people live on the other side of the church so activities are sometimes 40-45 minutes away. We started going to our church when we lived closer to it and we've tried other churches closer to us but we've always gone back. There is a new church plant in town and we're thinking about getting involved. We like our church but honestly it is more of a service to us and nothing else. It's just too stinking hard to get involved when everything is so far away. We also feel like they don't really need us. I have a masters in biblical counseling and DH has a masters of dvinity so we have something to offer. But they really only need help with children's ministry and neither of us feel called to serve there. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone has been able to get really involved and found a church home that they have to "travel" to.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We live about 25 minutes from church, in the opposite direction of most attenders. We have been able to make it work quite well. I serve on the CE board and just finished-up the nursery coordination & DH is a deacon. We don't usually attend services during the week (only Sunday) but the distance has never been an issue for meetings & such. ETA: If you don't think its working for you, look for something else. It's also OK if you "just attend" for now. Maybe it's time for you to be fed instead - at least for now. You can look for another way to serve that's closer to home - it doesn't have to be in your particular church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Well, my opinion might not be popular, but since you asked... I think people should fellowship regularly with other Christians in their area. The whole point of a Church body is to be involved in one another's lives. Being the Church isn't about just attending a service for an hour once a week. It's about living out the love of Christ daily with our brothers and sisters (among other things, of course). I'd encourage you to find other believers to fellowship with closer to your home if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We are debating this same thing. Our church isn't quite that far away, more like 20 minutes to 25 minutes. We were going 3 times per week. We do teach a Sunday night class often, so we are involved. It is sometimes hard to get motivated to get out the door. We too have visited churches closer. One church was 1 mile away and met in a school. We decided to go there. It lasted 8 months and then the church FOLDED! ARGH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We moved away from our church and continue to commute. We travel and we're involved, so I guess that's a yes to your question. However, if I was in your situation I would at least visit a new church. We're also lucky to host a small group, so once a week church comes to us. Kind of a big deal when you spend $10 roundtrip and you don't really have $10 to spare :blush5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Yeah, I don't fully agree. Our church has a homeschool group and that is very important to us. It also has a Chinese congregation, and since I have a Chinese son, I feel that is important to us. We have visited local churches and my kids are always the only homeschoolers. Just as a reference, 90% of our activities are up in that area.....so we are indeed very involved with the community up there. In fact, I am trying to get DH to agree to move if we could ever sell this house! Dawn Well, my opinion might not be popular, but since you asked... I think people should fellowship regularly with other Christians in their area. The whole point of a Church body is to be involved in one another's lives. Being the Church isn't about just attending a service for an hour once a week. It's about living out the love of Christ daily with our brothers and sisters (among other things, of course). I'd encourage you to find other believers to fellowship with closer to your home if you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Well, my opinion might not be popular, but since you asked... I think people should fellowship regularly with other Christians in their area. The whole point of a Church body is to be involved in one another's lives. Being the Church isn't about just attending a service for an hour once a week. It's about living out the love of Christ daily with our brothers and sisters (among other things, of course). I'd encourage you to find other believers to fellowship with closer to your home if you can. You CAN do this from 25 minutes away. We do it. We are very active in the lives of fellow church members & they in ours. Seeing them several times a week isn't the only way to do this. Its 35 minutes, not hours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shanvan Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Well, my opinion might not be popular, but since you asked... I think people should fellowship regularly with other Christians in their area. The whole point of a Church body is to be involved in one another's lives. Being the Church isn't about just attending a service for an hour once a week. It's about living out the love of Christ daily with our brothers and sisters (among other things, of course). I'd encourage you to find other believers to fellowship with closer to your home if you can. I am starting to see the wisdom in this point of view. Currently we travel about 30 minutes (more in traffic) to our church. We often feel pressured to attend church functions. (Of course, the timing of the church functions is very poorly planned too, but that's tmi that needs to be saved for another discussion.) There are many people we would love to help, but the drive (and costs of the drive) make it very difficult. Dh and I are discussing a church change in the new year. We may have to make some compromises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuzu822 Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 My husband is a music director and organist at a church (ECLA) 25-30 minutes away. This is a huge improvment from the 45-50 (in good weather!) that it used to be. We aren't finding it too hard to be involved since he is so entrenched in the life of the church as a staff member. It sometimes is slightly awkward because all the other families live in that area, and no one else homeschools. It means that the boys aren't forging friendships outside of church, but they do enjoy the other kids in their Sunday school class. I can chat with the other moms about neutral topics. There is also a slight barrier there because DH is an employee and we aren't "just" members/attendees. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Our church is 30 minutes away on a Sunday morning, more like 45 on a weeknight. And that is taking the toll road, so you add up time, gas, and tolls and it's getting to be tough. We joined there after really seeking super strong teaching and I will say I have yet to find anyone as good of a preacher as my pastor. He is just awesome. BUT, we feel like we have no relationships. Like the OP, most of the other attenders live on that side of town. We would like to find a new church but most of them are very seeker around here and my husband won't compromise to go to watered down teaching. The search continues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 The church plant here will be solid. There are two families involved that we have known for a long time and we square up with them theologically very well. But right now it is 5 families and no one else homeschools in the group. There are a lot of homeschoolers in the church we attend now but I'll honestly say that we never see them outside the church. Part of the issue with the "far away" church is that they meet in a private school so there is only ONE service a week and not a lot of outside fellowship, etc. We are involved in a small group that is part of the church but it's 35 minutes away and trying to keep a toddler awake at 8:30 on a weeknight on the drive home. It's torture. We LOVE the service but right now it is just a service to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I don't find the drive to be excessive, but YMMV (literally! hee hee). We lived about 30 mins from the first place my husband priested, the (Miami) Trinity Cathedral downtown. It was a bit of a pain, but not too bad. It is NICE, however, to live on the church property now. I'm spoiled. The only problem for us is that dh "can't" stay at this house when it's his vacation time--just needs to get off the property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Its 35 minutes, not hours. Yep. Still looking for a community and it's hard. My home church *IS* about 35 hours away.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Yep. Still looking for a community and it's hard. My home church *IS* about 35 hours away.... I know what you mean, Hopscotch. It is hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I know what you mean, Hopscotch. It is hard. Thanks. I don't mind blending into the culture here in most ways, but I do miss having a church. To only have to drive 35 minutes would be heaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I have worked 1/2 an hour from work and we were very active in a church that was about the same distance at the time. 1/2 an hour was normal and we didn't not go to things because of the time. It really depends on what you are used to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tita Gidge Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I regularly drive 35-45 minutes for fellowship of the non-religious nature because I enjoy the company it affords me; to me, the drive is worthwhile because the relative investment of time-in-car is surpassed by the benefit of fellowship-once-I'm-there. If I didn't "get much out of" the fellowship angle, the drive would feel like a chore. I wouldn't feel the time-in-car was worth mediocre fellowship, if that makes sense. Community is what makes the drive worthwhile. It sounds like you're not getting as much out of your church experience than is worth the drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 It can be a tough situation. We would travel, probably up to two hours or so, to attend the nearest church of our tradition. If there was not one within traveling distance, we'd have to do something like what Bethany describes, although with a format that is still prescribed by the Church (we'd meet at home, with any other Orthodox believers nearby, using a Reader's Typika service book). We'd also consider moving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Well, my opinion might not be popular, but since you asked... I think people should fellowship regularly with other Christians in their area. The whole point of a Church body is to be involved in one another's lives. Being the Church isn't about just attending a service for an hour once a week. It's about living out the love of Christ daily with our brothers and sisters (among other things, of course). I'd encourage you to find other believers to fellowship with closer to your home if you can. I agree. I used to travel, and it stifled our being involved. Now our church is 1/2 a block away, and we are there ALL The time, helping in so many ways. Food pantry, choir, lessons, CCD, setting up the community center for services, services in different languages...people do drive to help, but they can't be as involved. We wrap our lives around it, and it's amazing. Not just what WE can offer, but that we are effecting our direct community. Our neighbors. Tht means the world. We also have the ability to go whenever we want--not just on Sunday, and what I have learned is that this way of living ... is bountiful. I can't explain it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Our church is 35 minutes away, and for us, it;s far. I hate driving. That said, we probably wont be changing anytime soon as the boys like the church, and it;s the most socially active, justice-oriented church I have found. I dont do much during the week with the church, but I am not sure if that would be different if it was closer. I would like to join the Bible Study, but the time isnt good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 I agree. I used to travel, and it stifled our being involved. Now our church is 1/2 a block away, and we are there ALL The time, helping in so many ways. Food pantry, choir, lessons, CCD, setting up the community center for services, services in different languages...people do drive to help, but they can't be as involved. We wrap our lives around it, and it's amazing. Not just what WE can offer, but that we are effecting our direct community. Our neighbors. Tht means the world. We also have the ability to go whenever we want--not just on Sunday, and what I have learned is that this way of living ... is bountiful. I can't explain it. I'd *love* to be half a block from our church!! That's awesome. As it is, we're about an 8 minute drive from our parish and are some of the closest, so we're there a lot, too. Love to be involved that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 It can be a tough situation. We would travel, probably up to two hours or so, to attend the nearest church of our tradition. If there was not one within traveling distance, we'd have to do something like what Bethany describes, although with a format that is still prescribed by the Church (we'd meet at home, with any other Orthodox believers nearby, using a Reader's Typika service book). We'd also consider moving. :iagree: Our church is an hour and forty-five minutes away, but from us so is any shopping. :) It is hard and I hope to someday do something like the above to fill in the gap. I wouldn't attend a church of another tradition but I have no problems living out my life with other Christians in other ways; homeschool groups, serving our local community, etc. I agree. I used to travel, and it stifled our being involved. Now our church is 1/2 a block away, and we are there ALL The time, helping in so many ways. Food pantry, choir, lessons, CCD, setting up the community center for services, services in different languages...people do drive to help, but they can't be as involved. We wrap our lives around it, and it's amazing. Not just what WE can offer, but that we are effecting our direct community. Our neighbors. Tht means the world. We also have the ability to go whenever we want--not just on Sunday, and what I have learned is that this way of living ... is bountiful. I can't explain it. I seriously dream about this and tell dh if we ever move it will be across the street from church! :D That's the only way he could pry me off the farm. :D I would do it in a heartbeat though, really I would, I want to go to every service and I struggle to be content. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenniferB Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We are 35 min from church. On the upside, it gives us time to prepare our hearts to receive Christ. On the downside, I don't participate in as many services, classes, or helping hands type activities as I would ideally like to. As far as relationships, it's the Eucharist that unites us and I would travel great distances to participate in this union. We also have coffee hour after every Sunday service and some feast days. This facilitates a social atmosphere and opportunity to catch up with those who we don't regularly communicate with via Facebook, text, or email. OP, what if you offered to host a coffee hour after church and eventually get on a rotation with a few other families in the church to share the opportunity to host? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 When we used to live in Phoenix it was about 30 minutes. Not only did we get involved with church activities but my oldest went to preschool there every day. Sometimes it's absolutely worth the trip! Is there anywhere else you could go and have the same experience? Unless gas money is an issue, do it :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We drive much further than that. It is difficult to maintain on a weekly basis much less more invovlement. Expectations will be high with your backgrounds to help grow the plant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 We'd love a 35 minute drive. We drive 90 miles one way. We miss out on fellowship, ladies night, Wed. and Sun. night gatherings. No choir for us. The girls don't get to play piano or organ for the services. This is a huge issue for us. The local churches are like drinking milk where our church feeds us meat. It's tough. We are close to a handful of families but it's been hard work over 10+ years. We used to have an open house on Memorial Days and have company all day on the ranch, that helps but it's hard for people to get down here just like it's hard for us to get up there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted November 28, 2012 Author Share Posted November 28, 2012 Thanks for the replies! We've really been enjoying the small group down the road. It's very down to earth and we have similar beliefs. They are planning on starting to meet on Sundays soon though and I'll admit that I don't know if I'm ready to give up Sunday mornings at our current church though. They talked a lot about their vision and hopes and dreams last night though and it's pretty spot on what we desire. I just worry about them not having much for the kids yet. Their goal is to have children's and youth activities but they won't materialize soon. This is a hard call! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Okay so 3 months into this and I'm ready to move back to our church 35 minutes away. I wasn't sure if I was ready to give up the amazing service and children's program at our other church when this new church plant started meeting on Sundays. And it's been disappointing. They don't have anything for kids and it meets at someone's house. The kids do a really short 10 minute Bible study then watch a movie. My 9yo said to me that she was really excited about going to church yesterday because she couldn't wait to see what movie they were going to watch. :( There is also no child care for the younger kids so the toddlers all run in and out of the living room during Bible study. There are two older 1 year olds and an almost 3 year old. One of the 1 year olds is mine. They are all very distracting. It's hard to focus when my little one is coming in and out of the room and fussing for toys, drinks, snacks, etc. And there is only one other older kids besides mine there. I wish they'd kept their mid week Bible study but not moved their main service to Sundays so quickly. I'm ready to move back to our other church. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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