If a friend SHOULDN'T homeschool...

[Murphy101]

Wowza.

 

I wouldn't because it's none of my business and that's way over the line of acceptable.

 

Trying to imagine telling my friend that I think she is unfit or making a huge mistake by sending her kid to public or private school... Yeahhh... Pretty sure that's a friendship breaker for most. And yes, I have come across situations where I thought a parent was nuts to be so determined to send their kid to a public or private school bc I really didn't think the parent was up for that commitment.

 

If my friend asked me, I'd probably say I have no idea how they are going to spread themselves further with all that is going on in their lives, but I hope they can figure it out. Maybe we would brain storm a bit. Otherwise, I'd keep my negativity to myself. It sounds like they don't need more of that as it is.

[Guest emily1977]

Hi everyone,

 

Have you ever been in a situation in which someone you know who seems determined to homeschool really shouldn't be? Either because she is going through some significant personal stresses or turmoil, or her marital situation is in shambles, or she is just not in a stable state of mind or emotion? What would you say to such a person? And what if you feel there is evidence that her children are suffering and showing increasing signs of dysfunction?

 

This is not for myself personally, but I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to homeschool, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in. If anyone has any resources or advice for someone in this predicament, I'd love to read your input!

 

Thanks!

 

It sounds theoretical rather than an actual example of a situation. In which case the article will not be genuine and helpful imo. I think there is a better case for some schools being unfit to teach..maybe that is more of a focus for an article especially one that is posed in a homeschooling site:D

[G5052]

Were it me I would run away from this as fast as I could. I would NOT write an article about how to determine someone's fitness to homeschool. We face enough opposition from the outside world at large, and I really think that infighting about who should and shouldn't be homeschooling is a really bad idea.

 

If a person follows their state's guidelines for notification and receives an excusal, then that's that. (I know that some states require no notifications and therefore don't grant excusals.) If a child is in a CPS-worthy situation, people should notify CPS. If you, from the outside, think someone is stressed or their marriage isn't in a good place, well, that's really none of your business with regard to evaluating their suitability to homeschool.

 

Can you imagine if we all felt it was our right to evaluate each other's suitability?

 

Tara

 

I cannot imagine how angry people would be to read something like that.

 

Maybe a positive article giving qualities that are truly important (organization, time, determination, flexibility, etc.), but no way would I do an article with a negative slant. Of course I have opinions after a decade of homeschooling and teaching other people's homeschooled kids in class, but mostly I keep my mouth shut. It is between them and the appropriate authorities.

[snowbeltmom]

I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to homeschool, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in.

 

Please don't write this article.

[Guest emily1977]

I cannot imagine how angry people would be to read something like that.

 

Maybe a positive article giving qualities that are truly important (organization, time, determination, flexibility, etc.), but no way would I do an article with a negative slant. Of course I have opinions after a decade of homeschooling and teaching other people's homeschooled kids in class, but mostly I keep my mouth shut. It is between them and the appropriate authorities.

 

I agree...if one were to write such an article it would need to be balanced otherwise it risks creating general hostility against homeschooling.

[Jane Elliot]

I'm just curious: Who is asking for this type of article to be written?

 

I agree with the general consensus here, so I won't add to it, but I can't help but wonder where the request for the article is coming from.

[Harriet Vane]

This is a question I have had to struggle with in three ways.

 

There was one family I knew that had two parents who were undereducated, very poor, and VERY disorganized. This was an inner-city situation, so when I say undereducated, I mean that they were really, really undereducated. I did not think these people should home educate despite the fact that I believe strongly in homeschooling. However, these people didn't have a lot of good choices available to them. The local schools were terribly unsafe and academically bankrupt. There was no money for a private school, and no decent private schools within a reasonable distance from them. They were desperate for their children, and chose to home school. To my astonished eyes, they made it work. It really was nothing more than a determination to keep trying. They actually did school day after day, and the kids figured out how to get it done. All three are now adults. Two are in college, and all three have jobs.

 

There was someone close to me who homeschooled. At the time I thought she was mentally ill. She certainly wasn't doing the work required to homeschool, over the course of YEARS, and it was obvious that the kids were waaaaaay behind. We had a few frank conversations in which she freely admitted to me their lack of schooling and her struggles. I tried helping her by providing materials or showing her how to handle different subject or skills areas. Their situation only got worse. Then this person was diagnosed with a terminal illness (the real reason behind the disorganization, suspected mental illness, etc.). There was a year that the kids got NO schooling as the family coped with the awful effects of the illness. Then there was a year (possibly 2? Not sure) where the kids were kinda-sorta schooled through co-op involvement and the kindness of friends while still coping with the ups and downs of their mother's illness. It wasn't anywhere near a full academic load, but it was better than nothing. Finally the kids were put in public school. They were all five behind, but not nearly as badly as I feared. They were placed at a grade level one year below what they should have been. All five children thrived and did fine (in fact, really well) from the start. They are still thriving. (Their mother died after they had been in public school for some time.) In retrospect, the deficiencies of their early education didn't really matter academically. Also in retrospect, I ended up revising my opinion of those hard years and being glad that they did have those years at home with their mother, glad they had so much time with her before she became so ill.

 

And the third situation was for myself, mothering the kids in the situation above and trying to help their mother (who was dear to me) die with grace. I continued schooling but made compromises in our lifestyle for this situation, and often hated myself for those compromises. I have spent many middle-of-the-night hours beating myself up for not being a better teacher during the intensity of that time. In the end, though, it has not impacted my kids' academics, and it has made them better people. My children's test scores have been really high for many years. They are at grade level or higher in all subjects. And they learned practical compassion from years of weekly involvement with the suffering family described above. Somehow, despite the craziness, they seem to be doing not just fine, but really well.

 

The end result is that I don't think the government should impose any more than the most basic regulations on home schooling. I am fine with requiring the time to be put in, but beyond that, there are many ways to get the job done, and parents should be left to do it as best they see fit, even through life difficulties.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I agree with everything said so far, and now I'm going to do something considered to be rude by many on the forum. However, I feel the situation warrants it.

 

DO NOT WRITE THAT ARTICLE !

 

Please reconsider. Write about why no one should tell someone else whether they should home school or not. Write about how to guide or encourage someone who is struggling. Write about how to prepare yourself for homeschooling (honestly this is a slippery slope too because so many people home school so differently...someone who is unorganized is just as likely to teach effectively as someone who is highly organized). Write about why we home schoolers are so protective of our right to home school. Write about the kerfluffle you caused by starting this thread.;)

[stripe]

This is not for myself personally, but I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to homeschool, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in.

 

Rereading this, I have to wonder, is this for some sort of certifying organization, like...a school district? Or Child Protective Services? An organization that could potentially BE involved in determining someone's "fitness" to homeschool or otherwise care for her children? If so, I guess it could be valuable to have some criteria for neglect and suggestions for addressing them. But otherwise, who is in a position to do this, except as a gossip?

 

I saw the piece you wrote about being a Christian homeschooler; is it in the same website/publication as that? Or something else?

[sweetbasil]

Let's make one small adjustment to your article topic:

 

Have you ever been in a situation in which someone you know who seems determined to teach public school though she really shouldn't? Either because she is going through some significant personal stresses or turmoil, or her marital situation is in shambles, or she is just not in a stable state of mind or emotion? What would you say to such a person? And what if you feel there is evidence that her students are suffering and showing increasing signs of dysfunction?

 

This is not for myself personally, but I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to teach public school, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in. If anyone has any resources or advice for someone in this predicament, I'd love to read your input!

What? No one would write this article? Why not?

 

And if not, why should homeschoolers be held to a HIGHER standard than PS teachers?

 

When we get into the definition of "fit" we are getting into court territory. If someone is fit to parent they are fit to homeschool.

Edited September 27, 2012 by sweetbasil

[stripe]

Public school teachers are generally evaluated at multiple points along their careeer path, though. They don't give themselves a teaching certificate and show up at the school of their choice and start teaching.

[Durriyyah]

Let's make one small adjustment to your article topic:

 

What? No one would write this article? Why not?

 

And if not, why should homeschoolers be held to a HIGHER standard than PS teachers?

 

When we get into the definition of "fit" we are getting into court territory. If someone is fit to parent they are fit to homeschool.

 

Interesting point.

 

I agree that if they are fit to parent, then they normally are fit to homeschool. Some may need help finding resources or organizing their days, but unless you are thinking they should live with someone else entirely, they would generally be well enough to homeschool.

 

Maybe you can take the article to a new turn and talk about if someone thinks another person is unfit to homeschool, maybe they should offer suggestions and help whenever possible. Unless, of course, that person is unfit to be a parent, in which the authorities need to make that decision.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Let's make one small adjustment to your article topic:

 

What? No one would write this article? Why not?

 

And if not, why should homeschoolers be held to a HIGHER standard than PS teachers?

 

BRAVO! :iagree:

 

I know one particular ps teacher, my dd's 4th grade teacher, who had no business teaching. She was harsh and used embarrassing and degrading comments to keep her students under her thumb. Made students cry on a regular basis. Told them they were lazy, stupid and would never be successful. (And yes, I witnessed these things first hand.) Told all the parents up front at the beginning of the school year that she would be teaching to the test, was tired and just waiting it out until retirement. She said that if anyone expected great things out of the class that year they would be disappointed. Several parents went to the principal and were told that we were being too sensitive, she wasn't really that bad, and that we just needed to stick it out and our kids would probably get better teachers the next year.

[bethben]

How about something along the lines of what Sonlight does --"27 reasons not to homeschool".

Beth

[sweetbasil]

Public school teachers are generally evaluated at multiple points along their careeer path, though. They don't give themselves a teaching certificate and show up at the school of their choice and start teaching.

 

Really? They are evaluated on the degree of "turmoil" in their private lives and kept from teaching if, say, their marriages are in shambles?

 

I really can't imagine that level of intrusion going over very well amongst my PS teacher friends.

Edited September 27, 2012 by sweetbasil

[ocelotmom]

I think one thing that needs to be remembered is that a child whose family is going through turmoil is very likely to be struggling in public school, as well. How common is it for kids to act out, get poor grades, and so forth when their parents are divorcing or going through other trauma? This is seen as normal and expected, and a temporary hurdle. Why shouldn't the same be true of homeschooling? And why is it thought that their emotional or academic situation would be improved by public schooling, when it's clear that kids in public school are also struggling due to these sort of issues?

 

The only thing I can see is that the child may benefit from having an adult outside the family, and not involved in the situation, to talk to.

[Dmmetler]

Actually, such articles DO exist-in publications designed for public school principals who have to decide at what point they need to start the ball rolling to remove a teacher. The difference is, though, they have the authority to do so and a set procedure to follow. A fellow teacher (or parent) can report signs of incompetence to the principal-but they don't have the authority to remove someone from a teaching position.

[foxbridgeacademy]

Absolutely not. It is completely no ones business. And around here, even if you sat your kid in front of the TV all day you'd STILL be on par with some of the local schools.

 

I don't think this is the kind of article that even needs to be written. It's just going to give some crazy nosy bodies a list to consult and scrutinize people they know who home school.

:iagree:

[stripe]

Really? They are evaluated on the degree of "turmoil" in their private lives and kept from teaching if, say, their marriages are in shambles?

 

 

If it affects their job performance, they are. I was responding to your question about "how to determine whether someone is fit to teach public school."

 

One of the reasons it COULD affect homeschooling parents more than a public school teacher is that the educational activities could be taking place in the location of the problems. For example, a drunk husband raging and beating the woman would directly interfere with learning. Whereas at least a schoolteacher could get out of the house and the drunk husband wouldn't be in the classroom.

 

I never said this article was a great idea, if you actually read my posts. I just think saying it's just exactly like public school teachers is not a great comparison. I had other reasons to suggest it was unwise, but, I understand it's easier to read selectively sometimes.

 

I don't think every single loving parent would make a good homeschooling parent. I know extremely loving parents who are illiterate, or do not speak the language used in the country the child lives in. I know people who enjoy their careers and do not want to abandon them to teach kids. I know people whose lives have been positively changed by public schooling, so I am not one to suggest dismantling it.

[JFJ in IL]

I agree with the others. :tongue_smilie: I would personally refuse to write an article with that thesis. If it comes up in casual conversation or if they are asked, that's one thing, but it's not a good idea, in my opinion, to encourage people to butt into parents' lives & offer their 2-cents about how they should be educating their children and whether they are fit to homeschool.

 

A more appropriate thesis might be how to decide *for yourself* whether homeschooling might be right for your family.

 

I agree with lisamarie that this type of article is just what some people who are already critical of homeschooling will want to hear and give them the excuse they need to meddle in someone else's business.

 

Sorry for all the negative responses, but I would definitely re-think it.

 

:iagree:

[snowbeltmom]

Rereading this, I have to wonder, is this for some sort of certifying organization, like...a school district? Or Child Protective Services? An organization that could potentially BE involved in determining someone's "fitness" to homeschool or otherwise care for her children? If so, I guess it could be valuable to have some criteria for neglect and suggestions for addressing them. But otherwise, who is in a position to do this, except as a gossip?

 

Do we really want government agencies more involved than they already are in our homeschooling? I don't want the public school, CPS, or any other organization determining my "fitness" to homeschool.

 

I am curious who is requesting this article and the motivation behind it.

[Lovedtodeath]

I know someone who did nothing for years. Her family was a complete disaster.

 

When she had them out of school doing "nothing" they had all been through some terrible stress as a family and had separation anxiety and PTSD. What if someone had forced her to put those poor traumatized kids in school during their recovery time? I can only imagine.

 

Her kids returned to school years later only a year behind, one is in college, one has a softball scholarship, one is an EMT and one is the sweetest boy you will ever meet. I look to that example of taking care of the important things first. Academics can wait. They can.

 

I am so proud of them.

 

And what if you feel there is evidence that her children are suffering and showing increasing signs of dysfunction?

 

This is not for myself personally, but I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to homeschool, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in.

So perhaps your article could explain that many people homeschool as a result of dysfunction of some type... trauma, health problems, autism, learning disabilities... and homeschooling is not causing/ contributing to the problems.

[Murphy101]

I'd like to see a myth and fairy tales busters article.

 

Myth:

You can't teach science.

Yes you can.

 

Fairy Tale:

Love of learning means you don't have to teach them anything beyond reading!

No. Just no. :/

[justLisa]

I'd like to see a myth and fairy tales busters article.

 

Myth:

You can't teach science.

Yes you can.

 

Fairy Tale:

Love of learning means you don't have to teach them anything beyond reading!

No. Just no. :/

 

Oh like the Mythbusters of Homeschool :D

[Lovedtodeath]

Oh like the Mythbusters of Homeschool :D

Oh cool! My favorite show! Someone quick, do a youtube series... we have to figure out how to blow something up in every episode though.

[DJgang]

Writing an article about anything negative toward homeschooling is not good at all.

 

Majority of parents homeschooling want to be homeschooling and are doing the very best for their family and children. No need to bring attention to something that is few and far between and adding fuel to a fire of those against homeschooling to begin with....

[BlsdMama]

Hi everyone,

 

Have you ever been in a situation in which someone you know who seems determined to homeschool really shouldn't be? Either because she is going through some significant personal stresses or turmoil, or her marital situation is in shambles, or she is just not in a stable state of mind or emotion? What would you say to such a person? And what if you feel there is evidence that her children are suffering and showing increasing signs of dysfunction?

 

This is not for myself personally, but I have been asked to write an article on how to determine whether someone is fit to homeschool, how to evaluate this, and what to do if you are on the outside looking in. If anyone has any resources or advice for someone in this predicament, I'd love to read your input!

 

Thanks!

 

I'd love to hear who asked someone to write an article on how to judge whether someone is fit for homeschooling...

 

How does one decide if someone is a fit parent?

Or whether the stress would be improved by homeschooling?

 

Or how someone on the outside looking in is actually fit to be making such a statement/judgement/recommendation.

 

It's so presumptive.

[fractalgal]

I am curious who is requesting this article and the motivation behind it.

 

This is what I am wondering, too.

[Zebra]

Absolutely not. It is completely no ones business. And around here, even if you sat your kid in front of the TV all day you'd STILL be on par with some of the local schools.

 

I don't think this is the kind of article that even needs to be written. It's just going to give some crazy nosy bodies a list to consult and scrutinize people they know who home school.

 

:iagree:

[PeacefulChaos]

I actually don't think it's my business what others do in regards to their children's education. I really couldn't care less - public school, private school, homeschool, whatever.

[Farrar]

Oh cool! My favorite show! Someone quick, do a youtube series... we have to figure out how to blow something up in every episode though.

 

Oh yes! That would make a great homeschool Youtube series. Someone with older kids than mine get on that!

 

If it affects their job performance, they are.

 

Which it might or might not. Which is why it's not a great comparison, which you pointed out.

 

The outcry has been so strong that now I'm curious what the OP will do.