How often do you wonder if you can't do this?

[sherideane]

First year homeschooling and today is one of those days when I'm worrying I can't do it. I've heard it's fairly normal but how many days am I going to feel like this? I'm discouraged by my DS's laziness and attitude. I'm afraid I won't be able to teach him. I'm frustrated by my own lack of focus and "positive persuasion".

 

Sorry - I just needed to whine a little.

[freeindeed]

Every day this week. Some days (or weeks) are like that. But then others are really wonderful! Hang in there, you can do this.:grouphug:

[kathy_overman]

This is only our 2nd year, and we have many days like that. Things that help me help during the moments (there are many), in which I struggle:

 

 

• I ordered a bunch of HS books to encourage me
  
• Remembering: It is hard. It is work.
  
• I have worked on our relationships (w/ our sons - they are not easy kids)
  
• Try to change me, instead of trying to change them
  
• I have tried to stop fantasizing about doing anything else.
  
• Talk less, and act more. (i.e., limit nagging!) Try not to Yell (very hard for me)
  
• Focus on the the moments when it works, and feels like the best choice
  

 

 

I write these things to remind myself of what works. The first few days of this year, I called every possible school, hoping I could drop the kids off. I have worked hard at changing my attitude, and, for today, it feels better. It is a hard job!

[blakereese]

:grouphug: In the beginning there are A LOT of those days, but it gets better. They may always creep up, but once you have a little more confidence and experience you will be able to chase away the worries.

 

Remind yourself WHY you are doing this. Put it in words somewhere if you need to. Keep a journal or small notebook to record what happened on the good days. I had a lot of hard days in the beginning but I had a few good days that I wrote about to remind myself of that wonderful feeling when something just clicks for my son. And when my daughter first read to me. And when my DS was sitting with my DD helping her read. :) We all have our good days that carry us through the harder ones.

 

It is a very hard job, but so rewarding, too. Just not as easy to see on some days, especially in the beginning. :grouphug: Hang in there, and definitely come here to whine or vent anytime! :grouphug:

[Pen]

First year homeschooling and today is one of those days when I'm worrying I can't do it. I've heard it's fairly normal but how many days am I going to feel like this? I'm discouraged by my DS's laziness and attitude. I'm afraid I won't be able to teach him. I'm frustrated by my own lack of focus and "positive persuasion".

 

Sorry - I just needed to whine a little.

 

This year is 3rd year of HS, and I have not been having that feeling--at least, knock on wood, not so far. By age you list, must be we started at about same stage.

 

I have figured out now a lot of what works and what doesn't for us. I know even that how much attention span there is is more limited than I would have guessed and that there is no point trying to go beyond that. I've learned that frequent breaks help a lot, but that on some breaks I can get learning in by reading out loud as he does something physical, for example.

 

And I can see that even when it is a bad day (and today was), that I can adjust my expectations and get through it. Math was awful. So, I just dropped it for the day (after telling him what I thought was going on, which is that he gets angry when it gets a bit hard, and I took that to where he laughed about it) and let him go to history as SOTW audio review as his choice--okay it is not what we are officially doing for history this year, but why not? It is learning. Then we went to US History for a while, then a little writing, then he went to play with friends. It doesn't seem like much, but I now know that it will add up and that over the course of the year it will be a lot, or at least enough. First year home schooling, I think I would have had the feeling that maybe I cannot do it. This year it is something I can more take in stride.

 

The first year was definitely the worst--it took a lot of work to get into the HS mode, and bricks and M school had left some problems, many, that had to be overcome....especially that that had been fun, but he hadn't been learning anything. HS is admittedly less fun, but more learning has taken place.

 

I cannot tell you how many days you will feel discouraged. But if my experience helps, I can tell you that it has gotten better. Getting to the end of year one and knowing that much had been mastered was a big help. Going from coming into this "behind" and no longer being "behind" over all is also a big help. Seeing him start to be interested in learning things too is a big help. But it took quite a while to start to get past that stage you are describing.

 

Just finding one thing you can get him and you both interested and engaged in can be a help. For us that was SOTW, and maybe that is why on a bad day he went back to it.

[tjlcc]

This is only our 2nd year, and we have many days like that. Things that help me help during the moments (there are many), in which I struggle:

 

 

 

• I ordered a bunch of HS books to encourage me

• Remembering: It is hard. It is work.

• I have worked on our relationships (w/ our sons - they are not easy kids)

• Try to change me, instead of trying to change them

• I have tried to stop fantasizing about doing anything else.

• Talk less, and act more. (i.e., limit nagging!) Try not to Yell (very hard for me)

• Focus on the the moments when it works, and feels like the best choice

 

 

:iagree:

 

I'm learning to self-educate myself and stay one step ahead of my kids, or at least stay on track with my kids and not lag behind!

 

Also, reading the posts here from more experienced moms is invaluable. Off the top of my head ... 8filltheheart, regentrude, angela, ruth ...

[Dolphin]

First:

I would keep reminding myself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Also, "Just keep swimming." I spent days chanting this to myself.

 

Second:

I see that your son is 8 and this is your first year (that is what I did too). He has been in school, so not only is all of this new to you, it is new to him too. You have probably changed every piece of curriculum. He spent 3 years getting used to one way everything is presented, and now has to learn new curriculum. The language, methodology, all different. You probably won't do that again. If spelling is a problem you will change spelling, Math not working, you change math. It won't be everything at once again.

 

Third:

It gets better if you push through. There were times the first year that were dismal. I kept discovering all of these holes in what he had been taught. Not only do you need to teach new things, you have to fix things, it is overwhelming.

 

The second year was not as bad, I had more confidence, and I could see that we had made some progress.

 

We are in year 3, I feel that I have finally hit my stride. I am better at picking what I use, and have a pretty good sense of humor when ever anything goes pear shape. I am sure there will times where it is not as rosy, but I am much more confident in the fact that I am a homeschooling mom. I even started my dd with kindy this year.

[MAIMOM]

First year homeschooling and today is one of those days when I'm worrying I can't do it. I've heard it's fairly normal but how many days am I going to feel like this? I'm discouraged by my DS's laziness and attitude. I'm afraid I won't be able to teach him. I'm frustrated by my own lack of focus and "positive persuasion".

 

Sorry - I just needed to whine a little.

 

:grouphug: I seem to feel this way every year at different times. I keep reminding myself it is a journey. The goal is to cover ( material) over the coarse of the year. Some days we accomplish a great deal, while other days we just get by. It is helpful to remember someone called the first 6 to 8 weeks a fog as you and the student find your stride. As another poster said "just keep swimming" this too will pass.

 

I did find having a goal for the week and the day helped my dd. She knew that when she finished x amount of work she was free to pursue her interest and fun.

 

:grouphug: as another said..yes keep coming here to whine and get encouragement.

[SebastianCat]

How many teachers actually accomplish EVERYTHING they want to do, every single day, with teachable students demonstrating respectful attitudes?

 

Hang in there. You can do this. Not only CAN you do this, but you have SO MUCH invested in this. No teacher will ever pour their heart and soul into your DS like only YOU can.

 

(My eyes were opened tremendously when we volunteered last year for a once a month enrichment time at one of the poorest elementary schools in our district, that our church has sponsored. The poor teacher was frazzled, frustrated, and downright angry at those kids! My heart went out to all of the teachers who truly try to pour themselves into someone else's kids all day, 5 days a week, and don't get respect in return from either the students or the parents. It made me SO thankful for the opportunity to homeschool!)

[Mama2Many4]

This is my 7th year of homeschooling. The first year was the hardest. Seriously! I was crying and my oldest was crying. I would call my husband on the phone at work begging him to do something. Anything. But, what could he do? LOL

 

Yes, the first year is the hardest. Every day gets better, I promise.

[Mommie_Jen]

All week this week, it seems. We schooled the first 3 days then took the last two off for a break. I,m getting frustrated, DS is getting frustrated, the nearly 3 yr old is wreaking havoc...and I am downright grumpy. W have been at it since July and it's sinking in just how hard this is.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I felt like that a lot in the first year or two. Then I pared down what we did each day to the basics, switched our schedule around so we did more "block" learning, and got involved with a HS group. Things are going much better. Less whining, more quality working, and I have friends I can talk with.

[GAPeachie]

A lot.

 

I'm guilty of looking up private school tuition and trying to fit it in the budget some days.

 

*blush* Just being honest!

 

I have a picture of a torn, crumpled workbook page from our first year. It is captioned "Homeschooling isn't always peachy."

 

This will be year 5.... we still have days like that.

[sherideane]

Oh my gosh you guys - you had me tearing up! Thanks so much for the encouraging words! I'll likely print out the thread and keep it very near. I love all the ideas and I will definitely start keeping a journal. My first entry will be the small break-through in writing just yesterday. {sigh} The rightness of all you said rings out. :001_smile:

 

Thank you!!!

[MerryAtHope]

(((Hugs))) I think most years I have at least a day (and sometimes more) where I wonder if I can really do this. Some years it's worse than others. The beginning year or two were hard, then I had a hard year when I saw Junior High coming, and then another hard year when I saw High School coming. But...looking too far ahead is never a good thing! Keep taking it one day at a time and do the next thing.

 

If your own personal focus or organization is something that could be improved, then work on that a little bit at a time. You don't need to be perfect, and you don't need to improve tons over night--just keep on setting doable goals. Hang in there! Merry :-)

[wy_kid_wrangler04]

Daily. My son, who will be 8 Oct 1 (2nd grader) struggles SO.BAD. He clearly has LD's that have not yet been diagnosed. I don't know if we want to go through more testing or not. I don't know if whatever else we find would be overwhelming to me or a relief if I 'knew' what else was going on (I KNOW there is more going on than we know) Testing the first time around was SO hard on him. He was 6 then. He still struggles with CVC words. There are days I honestly wonder if the PS truly would be better. Then I think about how teased he would get for his quirks, how different he would feel being in 'special ed', how separated he would feel from the family being the only kid not homeschooled and how lost he would be without his mommy (HUGE mommy's boy)

 

 

But- to answer your question- I think that daily with him. I feel like scum for it too! He has absolutely shaken my confidence at homeschooling. We will continue though!

[Hoot]

This has been me this week. I can't tell you the number of times I've wondered this week if we did the wrong thing by bringing him home and if I've completely screwed him up. Yesterday was an especially hard day. And then, to top off the day I got an email from the school I work at part-time saying that they're adding a new 3 year old class and need a teacher and an aide. I found myself wondering if I should apply for the aide position (knowing 100% that I would get it and they would accept DS as a late applicant in a heartbeat) and just go ahead and enroll him before I ruin him further.

 

Today is a new day with no mistakes in it. Last week was a single week in what has been months of good days. I can do this. I think.

[awisha.]

The first year was definitely the worst--it took a lot of work to get into the HS mode, and bricks and M school had left some problems, many, that had to be overcome....especially that that had been fun, but he hadn't been learning anything. HS is admittedly less fun, but more learning has taken place.

 

This, I am having trouble with DD because she had half a year of Prep (US Kinder) and now she thinks every grade is just crafts, fun and games. Um NO!!

 

We (mostly me) have been incredibly lazy this year and are now in panic mode to finish 3/4-1/2 of her work before the end of December. I am truly disgusted with myself for my laziness and am trying hard to find my groove. :glare:

 

Homeschooling is HARD, so very, very hard. BUT it is so rewarding. My DD has beautiful handwriting, she is slowly understanding narration a la FLL, she is reading ok and most importantly (for me) she still acts like a 7 year old.

 

Hang in there, you'll find your groove one day :grouphug:

[mamiof5]

this seems to be our past week or so! this is also my first year homeschooling, and for some reason this last week has been awfully hard. I think I was meant to read this thread for a reason... thanks to all! :)

[fraidycat]

:grouphug:

 

I don't give myself the option of not doing it, therefore I know that I can do it, because I have to do it. But, I have to do it because I want to do it (for my kids), if that makes sense.

 

That said, we are in the 4th week of school and probably on the 3rd or 4th schedule change while I try to figure out how to give each of my kids adequate one on one time and try to figure out how to best combat the lousy attitudes (sometimes it's MINE, not theirs! :tongue_smilie:) It's certainly not easy, but nobody said it would be and in the end it'll be worth it.

 

Today was a good day. I accomplished everything I set out to do, probably for first time since we started up this fall. I remind the kids often enough that I want progress, not perfection. Sometimes I have to stop and take a little of my own medicine, which is tough.

[gracefor5]

Been doing this for going on 11 years and some days/weeks even months are great and then there is "that" day/week or even month :D Raising kids is hard. Schooling kids is hard whether we do it or we let the schools do it. I try to keep an attitude of its best for all of us...each for very different reasons, then I look at the negatives and positives of sending them to school, private or public. By then, my stress is passed or I get an "ah-ha" moment where I am thankful for homeschooling. I used to think all of this would lessen the longer I did it, but for me it hasn't. It's a part of the process for me, I guess.

Hang in there. More days than not I love my kids and the blessings I have that make it possible for me to stay home with them. I bet you do too!

[Mommy22alyns]

Oh gosh, that first year! :001_huh: I definitely feel more confident now, though looking ahead makes me nervous too. :001_huh: Some days are rougher than others, but I still know that I'd rather have them here.

[momtoamiracle]

In my 2nd year, first grade, I'd say I feel that way almost daily. My son hates writing and math. I try to work around that, but still...

 

 

 

 

 

His reading is excellent tho so that gives me encouragement.

[Hedgehogs4]

Those days are much, much fewer and farther between than they used to be. I find that I have those days when I am feeling overwhelmed or hormonal. I also have to remind myself that I have days when I feel lazy, have a bad attitude or don't feel like teaching them--so when your son has one of those days, you just learn to find his hook and help him forget that he was feeling lazy or evaluate if what he really needs is to rest and stare out the window. (i.e. boredom is sometimes a good catalyst for getting them to do school. no screen time.)

 

There comes a turning point when you look back and realize you can't imagine not having done it any other way. Hang in there.