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Do people not see the gray hairs?


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Okay, I get that I have a baby face. I get that I don't look my age. I'm ALWAYS carded when I buy a bottle of wine. And I could type a giant list of times when I've been asked for ID at such things like the movie theatre to get into an R rated movie.

 

I purposely stopped coloring my hair last year and let the gray grow in. I'm not totally gray, but there's a rather large streak in the front and plenty of salt in the pepper.

 

Here's what went down this weekend in Chicago. The 15 yr. old German girl and I were riding around on the double decker tour bus. She hears a group of people speaking German, so she starts talking to them. She apparently explained that she is an exchange student staying with my family.. So, one of the women who was probably in her 50's says to me in English, "So are you going to go next? Or did you already go?" It took me a minute to figure out that she meant to ask if I was going to go on the student exchange. Not wanting to be rude to a stranger, I just said I already went. I didn't say aloud that it was 23 years ago when I went :D- just kept that part in my head!

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Lucky you!!

 

I'm only 31 and I never get carded. I blame the ever present dark circles and small children swarming my legs.

 

Yeah, people think I should be flattered, but it's really annoying to be taken for a teenager at 43 years old. Often I get the impression that people don't take me seriously. I try to treat teenagers with a little respect because I get to experience first hand how most people treat them.

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I have the total opposite experience, frequently. My DH who is older ( 6 months is 6 months) but clearly does not look his age is frequently mistaken for my SIL. :glare:

It happened again last weekend while we away for the weekend. There were some Amish folks staying at the same Bed and Breakfast we were and they were speaking in heavy German most of the time. When we walked by them they stopped us and asked my DH how old he was.

My DH just grinned and said, How old do you think I am?

THe man thought he was 45. Nope, he is 57!

One of the older Amish men snorted and said, I told you so! Apparently they had been having quite a spirited discussion in German about the gray haired woman with the younger man!

 

Big sigh.

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I have the total opposite experience, frequently. My DH who is older ( 6 months is 6 months) but clearly does not look his age is frequently mistaken for my SIL. :glare:

It happened again last weekend while we away for the weekend. There were some Amish folks staying at the same Bed and Breakfast we were and they were speaking in heavy German most of the time. When we walked by them they stopped us and asked my DH how old he was.

My DH just grinned and said, How old do you think I am?

THe man thought he was 45. Nope, he is 57!

One of the older Amish men snorted and said, I told you so! Apparently they had been having quite a spirited discussion in German about the gray haired woman with the younger man!

 

Big sigh.

 

Aww! :grouphug: Lucky for me, dh who is 10 years older than me doesn't look his age, either. He looks like he's in his late 30's, early 40's and he's 53. If he looked his age and people saw me (the teenager) with the 50 yr. old man, I'm sure we'd get a lot of comments. :tongue_smilie:

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I have the total opposite experience, frequently. My DH who is older ( 6 months is 6 months) but clearly does not look his age is frequently mistaken for my SIL. :glare:

 

Big sigh.

 

What made this even stranger was that I first read "my dh is frequently mistaken for my sister-in-law." SIL is used so often for that, I forgot what else it can mean. :lol:

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The first time I met the instructor for one of my dd's outside activities, I thought she was a college student. The second time I met her, I realized she was even older than I was! I didn't notice the gray hair at all the first time because her face was so strikingly beautiful. I think the lovely age particularly well, so that's probably at the root of your problem, OP. :001_smile:

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Yeah, people think I should be flattered, but it's really annoying to be taken for a teenager at 43 years old. Often I get the impression that people don't take me seriously. I try to treat teenagers with a little respect because I get to experience first hand how most people treat them.

 

I can imagine that must get grating after, well, YEARS! :grouphug::grouphug: from someone who never got carded, even when I was young. (I remember being 24 and having to restrain myself from smacking a client with a stack of papers when he asked if my sister, who was 32, was my younger or older sister.)

 

P.S. You and I would both do well at those "Guess your age" booths on the boardwalk!

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I have the same problem! When I had my DD at 28, strangers used to look at me in horror and pity whenever we would go out. :lol: I stopped telling people my age when they would say, "You don't look old enough to have kids," even though that was what they wanted to know. I just smile and say, "Thanks." I appreciate it more now that I'm in my thirties. :001_smile:

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That happened. My sister is 4 years younger. We went to a package store that she frequents and the guy said "Oh this must be your younger sister!" Needless to say my sister was NOT happy. LOL

 

:D And, btw, my post was partially me showing off that at 47 I can still remember something that happened when I was 24. :tongue_smilie:

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I'm almost 50 and got carded at the grocery store the other day. I do not look that young; I think the clerk was just being either extra diligent or she was trying to razz me.

 

The kicker was she started rubbing my driver's license to see if it was fake!

:lol:

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I can totally relate OP!! I know people think it's a blessing to look younger, but it gets really old being talked down to! I have experienced this everywhere from doctors offices to moms groups. Sometimes I point out that I have a 15 yo dd. I don't know if that helps, or just causes them to assume I had a baby at 12:tongue_smilie:

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Ugh, this does not give me hope! I look much younger than I actually am as well, and I get carded all the time. I have some grey hair coming in now too, but people don't seem to notice it!

 

I've been asked if I was my children's nanny or if I'm the their teenage sister. Once at a homeschool mom and daughter night, I was mistaken for someone's teenage daughter. It's depressing really.

 

I know someday I might appreciate this, but for now it's sort of obnoxious!

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Up until about 2 years ago I got carded for everything including buying lotto cards. In the last couple years though I have started to look old enough to buy them. I know I don't look my age despite teh few grays because most my age that I know have at least a few creases starting to show at the corners of their eyes etc and I don't. 1 benefit to being fat, it plumps up the wrinkles. I think though the main reason I am no longer carded is I have a weariness that the young don't have. I have noticed that those that appear young it is not just an appearance thing, there is a young energy with them that I am lacking. These last few years have sucked it right out of me.

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What made this even stranger was that I first read "my dh is frequently mistaken for my sister-in-law." SIL is used so often for that, I forgot what else it can mean. :lol:

 

I don't feel so bad now. I thought the same thing!

 

I thought so to.

 

But then I thought, "Maybe he just looks very girly." and "I wonder why the poster is mentioning how feminine her husband looks on a thread about looking young. Oh well. It is cool that it doesn't bother either of them."

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I get it! It is so frustrating. I've been looking forward to going gray my whole life, and now you're telling me it doesn't even help?!?

 

I couldn't go to the mall by myself during school days in my early-mid 20s without having to show a truancy officer my ID. When I would take my kids out during the day, people would either ask if I was the babysitter or glare at me as if I was an unwed teen mom of two. I actually once had a person selling alcohol tell me, upon looking at my ID, "I know this isn't you but I'm going to sell it to you anyway." :confused::glare: I was so mad! Everyone thinks it's great to look young, but it isn't so great in your 20s. Now that I'm in my older (early/mid 30s) I still get carded for alcohol but I don't get the rudeness that I constantly got in my 20s.

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I get it! It is so frustrating. I've been looking forward to going gray my whole life, and now you're telling me it doesn't even help?!?

 

I couldn't go to the mall by myself during school days in my early-mid 20s without having to show a truancy officer my ID. When I would take my kids out during the day, people would either ask if I was the babysitter or glare at me as if I was an unwed teen mom of two. I actually once had a person selling alcohol tell me, upon looking at my ID, "I know this isn't you but I'm going to sell it to you anyway." :confused::glare: I was so mad! Everyone thinks it's great to look young, but it isn't so great in your 20s. Now that I'm in my older (early/mid 30s) I still get carded for alcohol but I don't get the rudeness that I constantly got in my 20s.

 

I used to smoke way back when, and I was 26, buying a pack of cigarettes, and the cashier made a big production of showing my ID to everyone in the store to get their opinions on whether it was fake or not.

 

When I was 28, I wanted to get about 4 inches cut off my hair, and the stylist asked me if my parents knew I was getting my hair cut so short. I told her I hadn't lived at home for 10 years, but if she wanted me to, I could call them!

 

It does get ridiculous, but I guess it would be worse for people to think I was 60 at 43.

 

Everyone's responses are cracking me up! :lol:

 

P.S. I thought it was Sis-in-law, too, but quickly realized what she meant!

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One of my dds has more grey hair than I do and she has had it since she was about 18 years old. I got carded just recently. I was with my 27 year old and when I told the lady that she said that she thought my dd was my sister. We get that a lot. I don't know why. My dd definitely looks young whereas if you look at the wrinkles and bags under my eyes it definitely gives away my age.

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Older people at our church were amazed that we had adult children already. Mind you, we had our first at age 26 and that isn't particularly young. Our oldest, at the time of the comment, was 23. I think it is more my dh but that makes even less sense. He is a rank that no one would have in their 30"s or even very young 40's. But I think some people don't think much at all. :lol:

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