PIE! Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Is there anything that can be done? :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I swear that there's an invisible box marked "Attitude" that they get on that magic birthday :). And I WISH I knew where to return it! So far, it seems to work pretty well at home to just plain refuse to answer DD when she is giving me the tone, eye rolling, and so on. I just stand there, look at her completely blank, until she uses her correct voice. Having said that, I taught PS in an urban area-I'm GOOD at standing there completely blank until I get what I want with kids trying to make me react, and DD is an amateur compared to an inner-city 6th grader. It's harder when they're in groups-they feed off each other. I got to the point last year that I warned DD that her participation in co-op was in jeopardy if I saw her or heard her acting/talking like some of the other girls did. We'll see if it sticks once co-op starts again this year. I also don't allow most Disney Channel or Nickelodeon 'tween programs because so many of the kids are so sassy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sthompson Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 :bigear: I know where she gets it :D but I don't know what to do either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Well, I a son who will be seven at the end of September and he is doing this now. I keep wondering where my sweet son went, who use to be a pleaser. Now I see eye rolls and hear sass and such multiple times a day. What I really dislike is, when I am correcting him, he will say 'OK' over and over again, the whole time I am talking. Very annoying and I have not quite figured out how to best deal with it in a consistent way. Sorry to add a boy into this thread but maybe it is all children who are around this age. And I have another one coming up right behind him who will be seven in November. So far, he has not caught it. I hope he doesn't.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I find empathy to be the best cure. I'm sassy so she comes by it naturally. I tell her lots of stories about how I got in trouble for being a "smart alec" when I was a child. Lots and lots and lots of stories... :lol: I tell her I love her spirit and that I feel so blessed to have a child who stands up for herself. I tell her I sincerely hope she goes into adulthood just as assertive as she is now. And then I teach her about time and place. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I guess it depends upon what you do about rudeness in your house. I expect them to treat me as politely as I treat them. First offense is instructional ("You are being rude when you talk with that tone/interrupt me/make ugly faces while speaking to me"). Further offenses mean that they didn't get to talk to me - and got to stand in the corner for a while. Honestly, I think this paid off. I can't remember the last time we had to deal with this (probably when youngest DD was 7!) but nipping it in the bud was the best thing we ever did. Certainly made it easier to communicate with them when they hit their teens! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 There are definite consequences for disrespectful attitudes in this house, which help for the next few hours, but then the sass comes back. :glare: Usually (depending on the exact offense) it's time in the corner, or extra chores, or grounding. I don't know if I need to come up with stronger consequences, or just keep plugging away with what we have. The funniest part (though also one of the most frustrating) is that her 3-year-old brother has started to pick up on it. Seeing that little guy try to sass is hilarious (though I never let him let me see him laugh - he gets consequences for his behavior too). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 My parents did not have this problem. They never read a child manual in their life either. Now, reality...in the here and now.. I superglue myself to that kid until it changes. Usually only takes a day or so. Exhausting, yep. Worth it? Yep. Matter of fact, she's kissing the superglue line today. I'll give her one day's grace on this for hormones, but after that, Missy Mean Monster Mom is showing up. I feel ya. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Is there anything that can be done? :glare: Love her. Haha, mine (9) is just getting over her 7 year old sass and I'm sure she's raring up for the preteen version any day now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaN. Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) I superglue myself to that kid until it changes. Usually only takes a day or so. Exhausting, yep. Worth it? Yep. :iagree: ...and it IS exhausting but it's the only thing that truly works for us. This way we can have reasonable discussions as soon as it happens and I can watch her work on her heart attitude. Because that is what is most important to me. Edited July 18, 2012 by LisaN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" rinse repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awisha. Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Is there anything that can be done? :glare: THANKYOU for asking that question!!!! My dd drives me batty some days. I know I should be grateful that she is 100x better behaved than the couple of ps friends she stills sees, but just. Give. It. A. Rest. Already. And my sweet ds is starting to copy too :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Sass shows up at different ages. Seven is not the magic number. You treat it the same way you would with a child of any age. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 It's actually not my 7yo, it's my 9yo. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 I superglue myself to that kid until it changes. Usually only takes a day or so. Exhausting, yep. Worth it? Yep. :iagree: ...and it IS exhausting but it's the only thing that truly works for us. This way we can have reasonable discussions as soon as it happens and I can watch her work on her heart attitude. Because that is what is most important to me. I'm interested in this approach, but I'm having a hard time picturing exactly what you do. Would either of you please elaborate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I stop and ask them to try again in a better tone of voice. If they don't get it right that time, I model it for them. If they continue with the sass, I assume that they are either tired (sent to their room) or hungry (give them a healthy snack.) Engaging emotionally only escalates the problem. The problem for me is if I am tired or hungry myself, I don't follow my own advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I'm interested in this superglue method too... Please elaborate! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I think the general idea that gets tossed around here is "tomato staking". She's basically never out of my sight and in arms reach except when necessary. She gets snappy or out of hand, we sit and talk positive things until her eyes glaze over. "You know what's really neat about being kind to other people with your voice...lemme tellya a story about that.." blah blah blah (believe me, I can blah blah like nobody's business) :) And then some contrasting story about a fairytale character who's horrid. All day. All night. Sometimes I use photographs too. :) Here's a picture of a little girl being kind to her mother.... I used to work and care for at risk kids. We used to have posters at floor level, just sit there together looking at positive pictures and ask them to describe what they see, feel and think. It's that old addage, "You become what you behold." I beholding her alright..lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
labst60 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 So funny... I have a 7 year old DD who has been giving me a run for my money the past few days.... I have been noticing - hunger (and what she eats) plays a big part for us. This morning she was driving me batty (I'm afraid one day she'll roll her eyes so far back they'll get stuck- or she'll stamp her foot so hard shel'll put a hole in the floor!) and before I punished, I realized all she had eaten was a fruit smoothie for breakfast (sugary). I took a deep breath, cooked up some sausage and eggs and things got a lot better. She is the oldest of my 3 dds... if they are all like this, heaven help me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 It's actually not my 7yo, it's my 9yo. :glare: See? I don't think there's any specific age that *any* behavior is worse than any other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I find empathy to be the best cure. I'm sassy so she comes by it naturally. I tell her lots of stories about how I got in trouble for being a "smart alec" when I was a child. Lots and lots and lots of stories... :lol: I tell her I love her spirit and that I feel so blessed to have a child who stands up for herself. I tell her I sincerely hope she goes into adulthood just as assertive as she is now. And then I teach her about time and place. ;) :D I lilke that! I have never had a problem with acting out in public or around others. Her friends and her do that older girl sounding talk sometimes, but she has a good sense of what is appropriate and where. I am kind of one to not be bothered by my kids letting their hair down around me though. I know they sometimes just need to express an emotion and as long as they are not totally out of line I try to sympathize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ByGrace3 Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" "The correct answer is Yes ma'am. Want to try again?" rinse repeat. :iagree: I find myself constantly saying in a super contrived sweet voice "try again please" and "I will be happy to speak with you when your voice sounds like mine." My seven year old is not too bad with me, she gives all her sass to her brother and sister. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 See? I don't think there's any specific age that *any* behavior is worse than any other. I don't either - but my sassy one happens to be seven. And one might deal with a seven year old in a different manner than a two year old or a teen. (Or maybe they don't.) :001_smile: Though it's certainly not exclusive, 7 does seem to be a common age to develop some attitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted July 18, 2012 Author Share Posted July 18, 2012 I think the general idea that gets tossed around here is "tomato staking". She's basically never out of my sight and in arms reach except when necessary. She gets snappy or out of hand, we sit and talk positive things until her eyes glaze over. "You know what's really neat about being kind to other people with your voice...lemme tellya a story about that.." blah blah blah (believe me, I can blah blah like nobody's business) :) And then some contrasting story about a fairytale character who's horrid. All day. All night. Sometimes I use photographs too. :) Here's a picture of a little girl being kind to her mother.... I used to work and care for at risk kids. We used to have posters at floor level, just sit there together looking at positive pictures and ask them to describe what they see, feel and think. It's that old addage, "You become what you behold." I beholding her alright..lol Thanks! I've heard of "tomato staking" before, but wasn't quite sure what it was. I think I'll be trying this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I get it from a 6 and 9 yo boy. I respond by immediately stopping them in their tracks and demanding an apology. I revoke privileges until attitude is improved. I also don't hesitate to do this in front of peers. If they don't want to be embarrassed, they can choose not to give me attitude in front of others. I won't change the rules just because there is an audience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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