7 year old home alone

[justamouse]

:iagree:

 

My concern is that you see him. I suppose it it were me I'd give strict instructions for my kid to not leave the house and stay locked in.

 

Personally I wouldn't call CPS or the police. I'd see if he would be allowed to come over and play. Not officially baby sit, just play for a bit. More like back in the day when living in the neighborhood meant that every kid has 5 extra "parents."

 

:iagree:

[Soror]

My best friend is a single parent, and after I moved too far to help, she left her then 8 year old alone all summer when she was at work.

 

I was against it, to say the least.

 

He has turned out to be a FANTASTIC young adult. My son always comments on how really close my friend and her son are. They really enjoy each other, and he has grown to be the kind of kid anyone would be proud to have.

 

I am the complete opposite kind of parent, but if I want the right to raise my kids according to my beliefs, I have to give other parents that same right.

 

:iagree: with everything. I wouldn't do it and don't approve but don't think it CPS worthy.

[Soror]

:iagree:

 

My concern is that you see him. I suppose it it were me I'd give strict instructions for my kid to not leave the house and stay locked in.

 

Personally I wouldn't call CPS or the police. I'd see if he would be allowed to come over and play. Not officially baby sit, just play for a bit. More like back in the day when living in the neighborhood meant that every kid has 5 extra "parents."

 

Do you feel the child is abused or neglected in other ways? Do you fear his family environment is unsafe? If you consider what the police involvement might do to that child's and the family's overall well being, is it still worth to report to the authorities? CPS and the police involvement can be extremely traumatic for the family and has lasting effects, even if it is only a visit.

 

Leaving a 7 year old alone all day is certainly not ideal, but there are many children around the world who spend more time alone at this age, and this is certainly not the worst thing that can happen to a child in an otherwise loving and attentive home. I routinely was left alone for hours when I was that age (as it was the norm where I grew up) and felt absolutely fine about it. Never mind that there were no cell phones and no skype. The little boy could've been in contact with his parents or a family member for most of the time.

 

I'd err on the side of not dragging the family through a potential CPS nightmare, unless you have other concerns that are more than just speculations.

 

:iagree: with both of these thoughts as well. I think that it used to be normal than it is now. As I said I wouldn't do it as I have 2 other younger kids and the combo of the three, even if I felt ok with just him that is a bad combo.

 

I also like the thought of inviting him to a play date and maybe for lunch. That way he has to check in and you are not setting yourself up for babysitting(hopefully).

[LibraryLover]

Didn't we just have a whole thread about The New Yorker magazine article wrt the coddling of American kids , to no good end?

 

Give that kid a machete-- have him mow the neighborhood lawns. He'll be working , and everyone can keep an eye on him.

Edited July 3, 2012 by LibraryLover

[stripe]

I leave my 7 yos home alone. It's not illegal here. But never for very long. Certainly not all day.

 

Do you think you would if you had only one child? I feel more comfortable letting my kids (not twins) do things as a team than separately. It has happened, for example, that one has come to get me when the other fell down at the corner of the street.

[Dana]

Do you think you would if you had only one child? I feel more comfortable letting my kids (not twins) do things as a team than separately. It has happened, for example, that one has come to get me when the other fell down at the corner of the street.

 

We've started leaving our son alone for a while. He has the phone and can contact us at any point. I was left alone with my sister a lot and it was awful. We fought a ton.

 

So from my experiences, I'd be much more comfortable leaving one child alone at an earlier age than multiple children.

[GoVanGogh]

The good, noble part of me wants to offer to watch the little guy, but the bad part of me doesn't because I have seen mom take advantage of babysitting offers from several people.

Honestly, having BTDT, I would not offer to babysit.

If you know the mom has a history of taking advantage of babysitters, do not do it.

Three years ago I agreed to help out a neighbor and we ended up in a big blowup a year ago over it. She ended up stalking me, expecting me to watch the kid at least once a week for two years. (But she called it a "play date" like that made it better?!) It was awful. And ended up in a major blow-up. We haven't talked in over a year now, but are still neighbors. It is so awkward and has put both our kids in a sticky situation.

I personally wouldn't do it ever again.

 

I would, however, watch out for the child... Be extra cautious about strange vehicles in the area and such. Pay attention if you see the child outside when the parents are gone.

[Farrar]

Do you think you would if you had only one child? I feel more comfortable letting my kids (not twins) do things as a team than separately. It has happened, for example, that one has come to get me when the other fell down at the corner of the street.

 

I think I would, though maybe for not as long, though it would depend. I do think that two 7 year olds are smarter than one.

 

Bizarrely, that is illegal in Maryland across the line from us. 8 is the age to be home alone but you can't leave two 8 yos alone because the older one (2 minutes older in our case) would be legally supervising the other one. I forget the age they can supervise/babysit. Ironically, I think two 17 yos, perfectly legal, of course, are probably not as smart as a single 17 yo.

[phathui5]

I mean people without money are darned if they do and darned if they don't. If they collect welfare they are bums. If the work, but cannot afford daycare they are bums. What's a person to do?

 

Good point!

[Joanne]

7 is too young to be alone, period. And I am one of the least "protecting" types around here.

[Dina in Oklahoma]

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

7 is too young to be alone, period. And I am one of the least "protecting" types around here.

[Jean in Newcastle]

7 is too young to be alone, period. And I am one of the least "protecting" types around here.

 

Which really isn't the point that people are arguing. If isn't illegal, you won't get very far reporting it.

[radiobrain]

I find it funny how many of you are not ok with this and ready to call the cops or CPS.

 

Of course, on a homeschooling board, we would for the most part be shocked and not cool with leaving a kid alone at that age. We are already a bit weird about this, KWIM? ;) <and 7 can go either way.... my kids? no way. me? um, yes. Some of my friends' 7 year olds would've been fine, others I wouldn't trust not to blow up the house by accident at 25>

 

But we also don't like people up in our business in regards to how we educate our children.... there is a bit of a disconnect between these two general opinions.

 

I think that even though I would never feel comfortable leaving my kid home at that age, if those parents think it is ok, that is their business. You do not know how many times they call and check up on him, what rules or safety parameters they have in place...you just don't know. Hopefully it won't be for long, I am sure they aren't treating it lightly...I'm sure it is likely difficult for them. But then again, maybe not. I prefer to take the side of the parent having the freedom to make their own parenting decisions, without involving an outside, government entity. Besides, that system is overloaded with kids with serious problems. I say save it for the kids and parents who need it.

 

The only thing I think that's sensible, if you just can't stand the idea of this kid alone... is to give the parents your phone number and say that it is ok for him to come over if he really needs something. He is probably playing video games all day anyway. ;) Not quite a babysitting offer, but something that might help all of you not be so nervous.

 

I have a standing order with all my neighbors, whose kids often come home to an empty house or who during the summer are home alone, that if they need anything-- to come over. Not quite a babysitting gig, not quite totally home alone.

Edited July 4, 2012 by radiobrain

[thefragile7393]

Some states, such as mine, do not have a minimum age for leaving a child alone. You have to use common sense though. My son isn't 7 yet but I do not believe that he would be mature enough to be left alone a whole day. No way. Someone else, well....I don't know. I would have to know the child first. It does not seem like a 7 year old would be mature enough emotionally to do this. 9, 10 maybe. Depends on the child at that age.

[Stellalarella]

Hmmm. Mature 7 yo? It is possible to have a mature 7yo.

 

But kudos to any mature adult who can go over to a neighbors' house and have a frank but graceful conversation about her concerns.

[SKL]

I'm a free range mom, but I think 7 is too young to be alone all day. Are you sure the child is 7, and are you sure he's alone all day?

 

I hate to say it but this sounds like it deserves a check from the authorities.

 

ETA: I meant, after checking in with the parents and making sure this was the actual, ongoing situation.

Edited July 4, 2012 by SKL

[catz]

I find it funny how many of you are not ok with this and ready to call the cops or CPS.

 

Of course, on a homeschooling board, we would for the most part be shocked and not cool with leaving a kid alone at that age. We are already a bit weird about this, KWIM? ;) <and 7 can go either way.... my kids? no way. me? um, yes. Some of my friends' 7 year olds would've been fine, others I wouldn't trust not to blow up the house by accident at 25>

 

But we also don't like people up in our business in regards to how we educate our children.... there is a bit of a disconnect between these two general opinions.

 

I think that even though I would never feel comfortable leaving my kid home at that age, if those parents think it is ok, that is their business. You do not know how many times they call and check up on him, what rules or safety parameters they have in place...you just don't know. Hopefully it won't be for long, I am sure they aren't treating it lightly...I'm sure it is likely difficult for them. But then again, maybe not. I prefer to take the side of the parent having the freedom to make their own parenting decisions, without involving an outside, government entity. Besides, that system is overloaded with kids with serious problems. I say save it for the kids and parents who need it.

 

The only thing I think that's sensible, if you just can't stand the idea of this kid alone... is to give the parents your phone number and say that it is ok for him to come over if he really needs something. He is probably playing video games all day anyway. ;) Not quite a babysitting offer, but something that might help all of you not be so nervous.

 

I have a standing order with all my neighbors, whose kids often come home to an empty house or who during the summer are home alone, that if they need anything-- to come over. Not quite a babysitting gig, not quite totally home alone.

 

:iagree: What she said. Definitely not my cup of tea for my kids, but I wouldn't involve police or CPS either. (ETA - in the case that it's legal and I didn't suspect anything else going on, child otherwise appeared well cared for).

[katilac]

Give that kid a machete

 

Wouldn't that make a cool t-shirt? :D

 

As far as the OP, I think the choices are really limited to staying out of it or offering to babysit. There is really no gracious, neighborly way of telling someone that their parenting choices leave a lot to be desired.

 

If she ever brings up a lack of childcare on short notice, it would be fine to tell her about stuff like the camp that takes drop-ins (is that an example or a real thing? b/c I have never heard of such).

 

It's hard to know enough to judge a situation in full. Modern technology does make certain things much easier. We have security cameras at home, straight from Sam's Club, and we can check them on our computer and even on our cell phone, in real time. So a parent could easily have these set up and actually be able to see the kid all day long. Add in Skype or Facetime, and it's not necessarily as dangerous or lonely as it may sound.

 

I have seen great kids and young adults that come from all kinds of wacky home lives (wacky being 'not what I do,' of course!), and I have had lots of people express shock and dismay at various parenting decisions we make. Hence, I take a very, very, VERY hands-off attitude toward other people's parenting.

[Tree House Academy]

Oh Lord no! And probably illegal depending on the state.

 

Neither of my children were mature enough to be left alone at 7 and neither was I. I was 10 and still made some awful choice. My oldest was 12 before I left him home alone and still I struggle to do it for many hours at a time. My youngest is alnost 9 and I still wouldn't leave him alone. I may NEVER leave the two of them alone together. LOL

 

I am with the above poster, though, in that I would NOT involve CPS unless it was illegal in your state and the child seemed otherwise neglected. Are you 100% sure they don't work two miles down the road and have someone come check on him every hour or so?? If the answer is that you aren't really sure how they are checking on him or how far away they are, then I would think long and hard about getting involved at all.

Edited July 5, 2012 by Tree House Academy

[Tree House Academy]

" I know it worried you when Timmy didn't pick up the phone when you called him Tuesday.

 

How do you know it worried her when he didn't get the phone? If this actually happened and she called you and asked you to check on him because he didn't pick up, then you absolutely have the right to say something and give her some options/ideas. She may be really grateful for them.

 

However, if this didn't happen and you have no "incident" to reflect upon in a conversation with her, then you probably should leave it be. If she ever approaches you about him being home alone though, I'd definitely make the offers.

[Plucky]

Didn't we just have a whole thread about The New Yorker magazine article wrt the coddling of American kids , to no good end?

 

Give that kid a machete-- have him mow the neighborhood lawns. He'll be working , and everyone can keep an eye on him.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Exactly. Now I wouldn't leave a kid home alone at that age, but I am so sick of reading about spoiled kids. It's a trend right now and annoying the snot out of me. I don't know many spoiled kids.