7 year old home alone

[lil' maids in a row]

All day (8+ hour work day) for two days.

 

My neighbor left her 7 year old home alone twice this week. Mom and Dad were given many weeks warning by their (unpaid) childcare provider that she needed to make alternative childcare plans for the days in question.

 

What would you do? Say something? Keep quiet? Offer to keep the kid if they need it? The good, noble part of me wants to offer to watch the little guy, but the bad part of me doesn't because I have seen mom take advantage of babysitting offers from several people. Money shouldn't be a problem for them (enormous house, two new cars, lots of new furniture, lots of shopping etc.).

 

Am I just overprotective to think 7 is way too young?

[Tap]

Call CPS or the police.

[justLisa]

Uh, yeah. If that is true it is more than illegal. Though it doesn't sound as if you know them enough to understand their financial position.

[nova147]

Seven is way too young. Maybe a responsible 7 year old would be ok for 15 minutes alone. But all day? I'm thinking 12, maybe older.

[Mom22ns]

Call CPS or the police.

 

:iagree:

[mafi39]

I would absolutely call the police! That is way too young imo.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Uh, yeah. If that is true it is more than illegal.

 

Depending on the state, that is not necessarily true. In Washington state there is no minimum age given in the law. It is left to the discretion of the parent. If harm came to the child then the parents would probably be found negligent but unfortunately it isn't spelled out specifically. That is true for many other states as well. (I'm not saying that I think a 7 year old is capable of staying home alone esp. for that long or that it is healthy, but the law might not support your complaint.)

[KnitWit]

Poor kid! I have a pretty mature and independent almost 7yo but I think he would be scared out of his mind being left like that. Not to mention the fact that even as mature as he is for his age, he lacks critical thinking skills for what to do in certain situations.

 

I would probably AT THE VERY LEAST alert the police that if a call were to come in from that house that it's likely legit and not a prank and then see if they take it from there.

 

They may have all that stuff, but it sounds like they are waaaaaayyyyy overextended. I'd start selling stuff before I'd leave my 7yo home alone.

[justLisa]

Depending on the state, that is not necessarily true. In Washington state there is no minimum age given in the law. It is left to the discretion of the parent. If harm came to the child then the parents would probably be found negligent but unfortunately it isn't spelled out specifically. That is true for many other states as well. (I'm not saying that I think a 7 year old is capable of staying home alone esp. for that long or that it is healthy, but the law might not support your complaint.)

 

Are you sure? I thought it was 12 or 13 here.

[kricau]

Yes, definatly call the plice or social services!!!! I would not get involved by offering to watch him. In this day and age , where moms are having other moms sign waivers just to have play dates, you would probably just end up getting burned :(

[kricau]

Yes, definatly call the police or social services!!!! I would not get involved by offering to watch him. In this day and age , where moms are having other moms sign waivers just to have play dates, you would probably just end up getting burned :(

[Joani]

Seven is way too young. I would feel bad leaving my 13 year old home alone for 8 hours.

 

I'd call the police non-emergency number and ask if it's illegal in your area or if there's anything you should do.

[Farrar]

I leave my 7 yos home alone. It's not illegal here. But never for very long. Certainly not all day.

[Pamela H in Texas]

What is your state's law?

 

If you call CPS or the police, they can only do something IF it is neglect in YOUR state. In many places there are not laws, such concerns often bring to light other neglect or abuse. And just having them show up may encourage the parents to make another choice.

Edited July 3, 2012 by 2J5M9K

[K&Rs Mom]

I leave my 7 yos home alone. It's not illegal here. But never for very long.

 

:iagree: I don't think it's worth calling the police over just this - if this is one of many concerns, maybe. The police have more important things to worry about than second-guessing whether a particular kid is able to stay home alone. There might be more to the situation too - could a babysitter be there but you just don't see a car? It's hard to know what's going on in anyone else's house.

[justLisa]

I would go say something like, "I noticed (said child) has been home alone during the day, and thought I would provide you with my number in case of emergency." Or something like that....then at least she knows someone is looking out.

 

I am not a call the police or CPS type. I am not sure in this situation I woulud.

[mom2denj]

That is illegal and dangerous. I would call someone.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

In pa there is no age. The child must have local emergency contacts and be able to access emergency services (dial 911).

[JudoMom]

:iagree: I don't think it's worth calling the police over just this - if this is one of many concerns, maybe. The police have more important things to worry about than second-guessing whether a particular kid is able to stay home alone. There might be more to the situation too - could a babysitter be there but you just don't see a car? It's hard to know what's going on in anyone else's house.

 

:iagree:

 

Two of my sons would've been fine home alone at that age (though I never left them). Our law is much the same as Jean described.

[Guest submarines]

Do you feel the child is abused or neglected in other ways? Do you fear his family environment is unsafe? If you consider what the police involvement might do to that child's and the family's overall well being, is it still worth to report to the authorities? CPS and the police involvement can be extremely traumatic for the family and has lasting effects, even if it is only a visit.

 

Leaving a 7 year old alone all day is certainly not ideal, but there are many children around the world who spend more time alone at this age, and this is certainly not the worst thing that can happen to a child in an otherwise loving and attentive home. I routinely was left alone for hours when I was that age (as it was the norm where I grew up) and felt absolutely fine about it. Never mind that there were no cell phones and no skype. The little boy could've been in contact with his parents or a family member for most of the time.

 

I'd err on the side of not dragging the family through a potential CPS nightmare, unless you have other concerns that are more than just speculations.

[Mommy22alyns]

Wow, 7? All day? No way.

[CatholicMom]

I think that's WAY too young to be left alone, but I would also definitely NOT call cps or the police unless there are other issues.

 

Leaving a 7 yr old is really not safe or smart, but maybe they think he's responsible, plus he knows how to use the phone, plus she calls him on her cell phone once per hour while she's at work, plus they have an alarm system on their house, etc, etc, who knows.... I still don't think it's right. BUT I don't think possibly getting this kid taken away from his parents would be helping him, or the right thing to do. Ya know? That would be a horrible thing to go through unless it's really necessary.

 

That said, I would consider talking to his parents, even though I'm not a fan of butting in to other people's parenting... I would consider talking to them, especially if it is illegal in your state. Tell them a) it's illegal so you don't want them to get into trouble, and/or b) even if it's not, tell them "neighbors" have noticed and you are afraid they will get into trouble. i.e. give them a friendly warning (not a threat!) and hope they wise up.

 

I would also offer to watch him if you can and risk being taken advantage of. I would just do it for the kids' sake. What if he tried to use the oven and left it on and the house burnt down? What if he tried to get a book off a high bookshelf and it tipped on him and he gets trapped underneath it? Kids die from accidents like that when they are left alone. Obviously it wouldn't be your fault and it's not your kid, but knowing this stuff happens, I would feel better if he was at my house rather than not doing it and have something happen to him. Even though his parents should be the ones who are concerned about him.

[sewingmama]

If it was me I would offer to keep on eye on him. Not necessarily have him over to babysit full time or anything. Its hard for parents on holidays if they can't get care. It's easy to say they should have got him a playdate but what if all his friends are away on vacation? I would also make it clear that it isn't a permanent arrangement -they should still continue to get proper care for him but on the odd day they can't you will watch out for him.

 

If it was only 2 days and not every day then maybe she just couldn't get care on those days.

 

It is not ideal -7yo's can come up with some silly ideas to occupy their time :)

 

Maybe offer to have him come over for lunch or to play with your children for a few hours in the afternoon so he is not alone for the whole day at least.

 

I would only call the police or CP if I saw the kid doing dangerous things - playing on the road -setting fire to the grass :D

 

He might be a responsible kid - but I'd just keep an ear out for him -let them know if he needs help or gets in trouble that he can come to your place.

[Trish]

Why would calling the police or CPS be an option ahead of talking to the parents? How insulting to those parents. At least give them a chance to explain their situation or hearing their reasoning before assuming the worst. You could offer to 'be available' if the child has concerns or problems so he knows he can contact you. It really isn't neighborly to call the police BEFORE having a conversation.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Are you sure? I thought it was 12 or 13 here.

 

It is illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 in a parked car alone if you are parked in front of a tavern.

 

This site shows 10 as a guideline but points out that Washington state has no legal age set.

 

You can look up the state in question on this list.

[justLisa]

:lol: Uh, ok. In front of a tavern?! Well, at least I don't have to worry about breaking the law in future. I am absolutely certain DS could hold down the fort for a short time. He knows how to operate everything in the kitchen, how to use a fire extinguisher, many fix it type skills, computer skills etc. He's too freaked out to be home for 5 minutes alone, but I'm sure by the time he is 10 that will change. How did I not know this? Maybe I've just heard from too many people that it is illegal.

[amy g.]

My best friend is a single parent, and after I moved too far to help, she left her then 8 year old alone all summer when she was at work.

 

I was against it, to say the least.

 

He has turned out to be a FANTASTIC young adult. My son always comments on how really close my friend and her son are. They really enjoy each other, and he has grown to be the kind of kid anyone would be proud to have.

 

I am the complete opposite kind of parent, but if I want the right to raise my kids according to my beliefs, I have to give other parents that same right.

[justamouse]

If anything, I would be knocking on their door asking if they wanted me to help. I would be a wreck, thinking he were there alone.

[jewellsmommy]

whoops, doubled

Edited July 3, 2012 by jewellsmommy

[jewellsmommy]

I would go say something like, "I noticed (said child) has been home alone during the day, and thought I would provide you with my number in case of emergency." Or something like that....then at least she knows someone is looking out.

 

I am not a call the police or CPS type. I am not sure in this situation I woulud.

 

 

:iagree: I just don't think that I would call over this.

[bettyandbob]

I was home all day at this age. Not regularly. When I was sick and couldn't go to school. In the early 70s women couldn't really take off a day of work without repercussions. There was no daycare, drop in care and certainly not emergency daycare for sick children (a business that I've seen recently). So, my parents would prop me up in their bed so I could watch the little black and white tv in their room and I just stayed there all day. Sometimes I'd pick up the phone and call my grandma. She would chat with me a long time and now thinking back my parents never said a thing about daytime long distance charges (my parents were very frugal, so this is unusual).

 

I didn't like being home alone, but I was fine. And at the time there wasn't another option.

 

You don't know what this family attempted to do about childcare. You don't know that someone isn't coming in part of the day. You haven't provided any details regarding the child's incredible maturity or the child's latest irresponsible behavior so it's hard to judge what this child could really handle.

 

If I knew more about the situation, I might be able to assess it, but maybe not. If I knew more about the family, I might offer my phone number for the child to have like another poster said.

 

So, if it were me and I knew very little, I might open up my ears in the neighborhood mom network and find out if someone else knows more about either the child's maturity or the family situation in general. On the days in question I might pay attention a little more if the child is playing outside and if I see unknown people arriving at the home.

 

I'm having trouble with trying to turn in my neighbor. The information given doesn't tell us enough to determine the necessity.

[Truscifi]

Check the laws in your state, it might not be illegal. It isn't here. I left ds alone at 7, though admittedly not for very long. He handled it fine, and actually enjoyed having time to himself. He only does crazy stuff when he has a partner in crime. ;)

 

Unless you think there are other issues I wouldn't call over this.

[Mandy in TN]

In TN there is no minimum age to legally be left home alone. Red Cross training for babysitters begins at age 11. I am sure that I was babysitting at 11.

 

When my brother and I were 9 and 10yo, we were walking home from school to an empty house. I can't imagine leaving a 7yo alone all day, but unless I had reason to suspect that something else was going on I don't know that I would call CPS on the neighbors for doing so. If we were chatty, I would probably mention that I thought it was a bad idea and if not offering to watch the little person I would at least offer my number.

 

Mandy

[Mommyof4ks]

I would not do it, but in Texas it is not illegal to leave a seven year old alone at home. In a car, yes, but not at home. I would probably offer to watch the child, but that is just me.

[renmew]

I wouldn't call CPS for that. While I haven't yet left my 8 year old home alone for more than 30 minutes, I believe he would be safe if I had to. Seriously, the kid is probably eating a lot of PB&J while watching tv or playing video games all day. He's probably pretty lonely, but he is safe enough.

 

My 9 year old stepson was walking home to our house after school. He checked in with a homeschooling family on the street when he got home, made himself a snack, and got to work on his homework. Of course, he probably watched a little tv as well, even though he wasn't supposed to. He was home alone from about 2:45 to 6 pm.

 

As a nice neighbor, give the family your number so the kid knows where to go if there is an emergency. Other than that, he really should be fine.

[Laurie4b]

In our state, 8 years old is the youngest a child can be left home. It's part of the fire code, so is considered neglect to be left alone before you're considered capable of taking care of yourself in the event of a fire.

[Harriet Vane]

While I do not think it's wise for a 7yo to be home alone, I would not call this one in.

 

I have called in abuse and neglect in the past, and have no hesitations advising others to do so. You can search my name on this board to confirm this.

 

Having said that, you have not observed any beating, criminal neglect (as in starvation or lack of shelter, etc.) or s@xual abuse, nor anything that leads you to suspect such things. As such, while the situation is definitely less than ideal it does not fall onto my radar as something worth reporting.

[lil' maids in a row]

Thank you all for the feedback. I have to say that I haven't considered calling cps or the police (there is no minimum age in our state). I know that the children in the family are well cared for, and while the homelife isn't perfect it is a far cry above what it would be in a foster situation.

 

I guess I was just trying to decide if it would be unforgivably rude for me to somehow point out to her that this isn't a good idea. I was thinking I could say something like.... " I know it worried you when Timmy didn't pick up the phone when you called him Tuesday. I know it has to be stressful knowing that he is there on his own. Here is a number of a great day camp, most people haven't heard of it but they take drop in's and the kids have a great time. Oh and don't hesitate to give me a call if you need someone to peek in on him if he is alone." I can't decide if something like this would be a helpful nudge or just nosy and obnoxious.

 

Once again thank you for your thoughts.

 

Meredith

[KidsHappen]

I am uncomfortable leaving my 12 year old home alone. However, when I was seven I was cooking, cleaning and caring for my infant brother. I think that I was quite precocious. Very few seve year olds are responsible enough to left home alone.

[Scarlett]

No way I would call CPS.

 

I agree it is too young.....but heck I don't like seeing even older teens left alone for long stretches of time because I don't think it is good for their mental state....emotional state....ds12 LOVES to be left alone, but I only do it once in a while for maybe 3 hours at the most. Even then he sometimes gets scare although he would be mortified for me to be saying that.

 

I'd offer to check in on him.

[NittanyJen]

Thank you all for the feedback. I have to say that I haven't considered calling cps or the police (there is no minimum age in our state). I know that the children in the family are well cared for' date=' and while the homelife isn't perfect it is a far cry above what it would be in a foster situation.

 

I guess I was just trying to decide if it would be unforgivably rude for me to somehow point out to her that this isn't a good idea. I was thinking I could say something like.... " I know it worried you when Timmy didn't pick up the phone when you called him Tuesday. I know it has to be stressful knowing that he is there on his own. Here is a number of a great day camp, most people haven't heard of it but they take drop in's and the kids have a great time. Oh and don't hesitate to give me a call if you need someone to peek in on him if he is alone." I can't decide if something like this would be a helpful nudge or just nosy and obnoxious.

 

Once again thank you for your thoughts.

 

Meredith[/quote']

 

I think if you made such a suggestion . . . once . . . it would be fine. Just don't bring it up multiple times, or start searching out daycare for her. That would be creepy. It might not be your parenting choice, but it is apparently hers, unless she requests your help.

 

Yes, it would upset me, too. I think 7 is probably too young for most kids. But if it isn't my kid and I don't see other signs of abuse or neglect or that the kid is up to something that he shouldn't be, then it isn't for me to tell another parent how to be a parent.

 

Other parents on my (quiet, suburban, very low crime, cul-de-sac) street were HORRIFIED that I used to let my kids walk home from the bus stop by themselves, where I was home waiting for them. Horrified. My older was in 4th grade, and very good with his younger (2nd grade) brother. They would swoop up to the kids and try to talk them into their cars for a ride home, usually creeping my kids out in the process, not to mention making them really wonder why all these other kids were too wimpy to handle such a short walk (in most cases, less than 1/4 mile, flat road). They were extra horrified that I would let them walk home in the rain (what, like they were going to melt??). I had one neighbor persistently tell me that my kids were WAY too young for such a responsibility and repeatedly try to stuff them in her car against their (and my) will.

 

One day she was all but accusing me of neglect for allowing my kids to walk home from their own bus stop, when her son piped up and asked HER why she was treating him like such a baby and not letting him walk home like my kids :lol: He put his foot down and announced he'd be walking to and from the bus with my boys from then onward, and he did, until we started to home school. (strangely, AFTER school, same kid would ride his scooter, no helmet, down the road, past the bus stop, and nearly to the highway :confused:)

 

In short, I'd make the suggestion once, then let it go absent evidence that there was a bigger problem. I don't love it, but I know what it's like to have other parents question my decisions when I thought they were nutso helicopter parents :)

[Based on Faith Academy]

Depending on the state, that is not necessarily true. In Washington state there is no minimum age given in the law.

 

This is true of most states, not all but most.

[joannqn]

It is illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 in a parked car alone if you are parked in front of a tavern.

 

This site shows 10 as a guideline but points out that Washington state has no legal age set.

 

You can look up the state in question on this list.

 

They also can't be left in a running car before the age of 16.

 

Our local parks department offers babysitting classes to kids as young as 12.

[swellmomma]

It is common and legal in my town. SS says as long as the child is mature enough it is fine. It is up to the family to determine what mature enough means. They can not babysit before 12 but stay home yes. The home alone course starts at age 8 so most people wait until 8 years old but in my town it is common for kids as young as 7 to stay home all day everyday during summer holiday because the parents do not want to hire a sitter for 2 months.

 

I do not agree with the practice at all but there is nothing to do about it until the kid is seen doing something dangerous and then you can call and report it deeming the child not mature enough to stay home alone.

[Ellie]

I was home all day at this age. Not regularly. When I was sick and couldn't go to school. In the early 70s women couldn't really take off a day of work without repercussions. There was no daycare, drop in care and certainly not emergency daycare for sick children (a business that I've seen recently). So, my parents would prop me up in their bed so I could watch the little black and white tv in their room and I just stayed there all day. Sometimes I'd pick up the phone and call my grandma. She would chat with me a long time and now thinking back my parents never said a thing about daytime long distance charges (my parents were very frugal, so this is unusual).

 

I didn't like being home alone, but I was fine. And at the time there wasn't another option.

 

You don't know what this family attempted to do about childcare. You don't know that someone isn't coming in part of the day. You haven't provided any details regarding the child's incredible maturity or the child's latest irresponsible behavior so it's hard to judge what this child could really handle.

 

If I knew more about the situation, I might be able to assess it, but maybe not. If I knew more about the family, I might offer my phone number for the child to have like another poster said.

 

So, if it were me and I knew very little, I might open up my ears in the neighborhood mom network and find out if someone else knows more about either the child's maturity or the family situation in general. On the days in question I might pay attention a little more if the child is playing outside and if I see unknown people arriving at the home.

 

I'm having trouble with trying to turn in my neighbor. The information given doesn't tell us enough to determine the necessity.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Ellie]

Are you sure? I thought it was 12 or 13 here.

It is true in California, as well--no minimum age for children to be left unattended.

[mom4him]

I would not call the authorities at this point. I would possibly talk to the parents and ask them if they are aware they could end up loosing their son by leaving him unattended. I would try to do it in a non threatening way but in a way to let them know it could be serious if someone reported them.

 

It may look like they are roling in money but you don't really know what their situation is. They may just be up agains a hard place right now.

 

JMTC

[Canadianmumof5]

There was a report on the news this past weekend that it is illegal to leave a child under the age of 10 alone in our province. It had never occurred to me to leave any of my younger kids alone; sheesh - we just started letting DS11 stay home a little when we go out with the others on quick errands. There is no way my kids would be ready to stay alone any earlier.

[Parrothead]

Do you feel the child is abused or neglected in other ways? Do you fear his family environment is unsafe? If you consider what the police involvement might do to that child's and the family's overall well being, is it still worth to report to the authorities? CPS and the police involvement can be extremely traumatic for the family and has lasting effects, even if it is only a visit.

 

Leaving a 7 year old alone all day is certainly not ideal, but there are many children around the world who spend more time alone at this age, and this is certainly not the worst thing that can happen to a child in an otherwise loving and attentive home. I routinely was left alone for hours when I was that age (as it was the norm where I grew up) and felt absolutely fine about it. Never mind that there were no cell phones and no skype. The little boy could've been in contact with his parents or a family member for most of the time.

 

I'd err on the side of not dragging the family through a potential CPS nightmare, unless you have other concerns that are more than just speculations.

:iagree:

 

My concern is that you see him. I suppose it it were me I'd give strict instructions for my kid to not leave the house and stay locked in.

 

Personally I wouldn't call CPS or the police. I'd see if he would be allowed to come over and play. Not officially baby sit, just play for a bit. More like back in the day when living in the neighborhood meant that every kid has 5 extra "parents."

[Ellie]

 

My concern is that you see him. I suppose it it were me I'd give strict instructions for my kid to not leave the house and stay locked in.

 

Personally I wouldn't call CPS or the police. I'd see if he would be allowed to come over and play. Not officially baby sit, just play for a bit. More like back in the day when living in the neighborhood meant that every kid has 5 extra "parents."

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: