Please, I Hate to Do This, But I'm Asking For Some Good JuJu-- I'm Frantic

[Remudamom]

Fable's injury ran through my mind the whole way to the vet's that day, RM. I kept telling myself that if Fable, the big pony, could recover, so could my 120 lb. dog. Tell me, during the casting time, was there ever any skin issue? That's a big part of my worry now, and why the cast has been removed. If so, what did you do?

 

thanks..

astrid

 

Yes, we did have a problem with the cast. It wasn't an actual cast but that's what the doc called it. It was an iron splint shaped in a way to force her hoof into the proper healing postion that was taped on. Problem was it tore up the leg at the top no matter how we bandaged it. I had to change it every other day and it got so putrid that the girls gagged just holding her head still for me.

 

I ended up taking it off and refusing to put it back on, that's when we went to the special shoes, which we should have gone with in the beginning. We had conflicting advice from two different vets. Should have gone with our regular vet but took her to a surgeon.

 

Anyhow, all ended well. When she is moving you can't tell but now when she rests she tips that foot up oddly. No scars even though it looked horrendous. I'd think with your dog's hair you wouldn't have to worry about scarring, hopefully he won't "rest" his foot like Fabs does. Too bad you can't shoe him, that was a great thing for Fabs.

 

It's still on my blog, you have to go back a few pages and it's pretty graphic.

http://www.xanga.com/remudamom

[Teachin'Mine]

I'm so sorry. :grouphug: I'm praying for all of you. :grouphug:

[Twigs]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[RoughCollie]

I am sorry to hear about Kayak, and I will pray for him, and for your DD.

 

When my DD was bullied recently by her lying, drama queen, former best friend and that friend's cohorts, I took matters into my own hands because I knew a lot about the bully.

 

I called Bully's Mommy and informed her about the criminal and civil laws and told her that if Bully OR any of her friends harmed my DD in any way, we would have them all arrested (criminal conspiracy + various crimes), sue them all civilly (money judgment lasts 20 years & can be renewed), inform the JROTC leader at the high school, inform the USAF recruiter before Bully signed her enlistment papers, and ask the FBI and the DEA to investigate Bully and her friends (one of whom is pregnant and uses heroin).

 

I told Bully's Mommy what the consequence of the above actions would mean for Bully and her friends.

 

I also made sure my DD was always in the company of a big, strong, male at school. She has lots of friends, and the young men are always happy to be body guards.

 

It worked. Bully and her friends didn't do a thing. In the future, they will probably think more than twice before bullying someone because now they know how it feels, given that I had to be a Bigger Bully to pull this off. Well, maybe not, as I would have made good on my promises if the bullying hadn't ceased.

 

If you deal with the Bully's parents because the bullying took place outside of school, then the good news is that you can casually mention how the parents could (not would) lose their house because their bully-child was a minor when the bullying occurred. It doesn't have to be true, btw -- you are trying to galvanize the parents into making sure that the bullying stops, period. In my case, the Bully was 18, so I had to reassure the parents that they would not lose their house when they expressed that fear - the consequences would fall squarely and only on the Bully and her friends.

 

Now, if I had not been willing, able, knowledgeable, and if I did not have connections to pull this off, I would have visited the principal of the high school and put the fear of a lawsuit onto him (a rational fear) if he did not stop the bullying at once. (In my case I knew that dealing with Bully's Mommy likely would be all that was necessary.)

 

I would not ask; I would tell. I would use the following terms without defining them for the principal unless he asked for a definition. I would not threaten a lawsuit unless it was my last or only option to force the school district to respond. I would go to the school superintendent and the school board, if I thought it was necessary.

 

Bullying at school or on the bus or at a school-sponsored event can consist of:

 

Terroristic threats = a threat to violently harm another. I am going to kill you, I am going to beat you to a bloody pulp.

 

Assault = threat of bodily harm or offensive contact plus a present ability to cause the harm. Whether contact is offensive, btw, depends on how the threatened person feels. So, it can include Bully saying I am going to toss grape juice on your ballgown at a school dance, I am going to hit you, I am going to kiss you whether you like it or not.

 

Battery = an intentional and unpermitted act which causes harm or offensive contact. This can be as simple as a kiss, or a surgeon cutting off the wrong leg, or someone being beaten up, or grape juice being tossed onto a $300 ballgown.

 

Slander = telling a lie about another person which will harm that person's reputation (spoken). Gossip at school fits the bill.

 

Libel = telling a lie about another person, in a published writing, which will harm that person's reputation. Bully passes a libelous note to another at school.

 

Sexual harassment = any comment at all by a bully which refers to a person's appearance or body, or which twists their name into a sexual word. The key here is that sexual harassment is a hot button phrase that can galvanize a school administrator into decisive action. This is not a legal definition, but then again, you are not dealing with lawyers.

 

My stance is that anyone who bullies my DD has to come through me. I will make sure they regret it and will never do it again. It helps a lot that every bully I have ever met is a coward.

Edited May 11, 2012 by RoughCollie

[Remudamom]

HA!! RC, anyone who bullies a girl with three brothers has got to be an idiot. Good job.

[RoughCollie]

HA!! RC, anyone who bullies a girl with three brothers has got to be an idiot. Good job.

 

Yup. But I didn't want to get into the defense of others as a defense for my boys ... so I stepped up to the plate.

 

Bully Mommy was a friend of mine. She's still calling me to get together for lunch. I haven't called her back yet. I can't figure out how our friendship can continue ... it feels weird to me, especially since no matter what, our DDs are no longer permitted to be friends (by me). We used to do a lot of things together with our DDs.

 

I can't exactly be on board with what a wonderful person and daughter Bully is. I lifted up that rock and found a lot of worms beneath it during my investigation and I informed the parents about those worms since Bully had written about them on a social networking site that she apparently devoted to wormy topics only - including lies about my DD (her FB account was the wonderful person and daughter one).

 

I saved screen shots for proof for the parents. They assumed these would be acceptable evidence in court; I didn't say one word. I did inform them about how law enforcement gets information from social networking sites, however ... including that deleted by the account holder and saved by the site for posterity.

Edited May 11, 2012 by RoughCollie

[ktgrok]

I'd call the vet and ask them to prescribe a tranquilizer for the dog.

[Tap]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Scarlett]

It's been a rough week. One week ago today, our 18 month old puppy Kayak, Molly's puppy, cut himself badly above his left front pastern, or "wrist." Two out of the three tendons were completely severed, and the third 70% severed, and he missed a major vein by 2mm. I raced him to the vet and the tendons were surgically repaired. He came home in a cast, which had to be removed to day because of infection/skin degradation. So now he's got all 120 lbs on his front legs, 7 days post-surgery with nothing-- no support at all, but those sutures holding his joint together. He's in a crate under severe lockdown-- NO movement, and partially sedated, but he's not coping well. And I'm giving a professional development seminar tomorrow.

 

To make matters worse, that whole bullying thing is escalating-- Molly's being targeted by a nasty, cruel girl who has had the reputation for being Miss Perfect for years. She's sly and cunning, and lies like a rug. Molly is now back to what got us to pull her out of school back in second grade-- pulling her hair out. Literally.

 

And on top of it all, our dog food was included in the recall. Two weeks ago Ray, Molly and I all got violently ill-- severe stomach cramps, vomiting, diarrhea. Molly ran a fever, Ray and I had sweaty chills. We are still not back to 100%. Last Thursday was Ky's emergency and on the way home from the vet's I heard the news bulletin about the salmonella taint. I am CERTAIN we had it.

 

I"m literally frantic with worry about both Molly and Ky, still queasy, and I swear I need to be sedated.

 

Please-- send me a virtual Mike's. Or some advice. Or something that will make me wake up when everything's better.

 

My mama's heart is hurting tonight.

 

Thanks everybody....

astrid

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Desert Rat]

Hang in there! Passing a virtual glass of shiraz your way (even if it is early).

[celticmom]

Is there some sort of removable splint that could help your puppy's leg?

[nmoira]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[chiguirre]

I hope next week is better! It's the middle of May and summer's just around the corner, hang in there.

[CatholicMom]

:grouphug: For what it's worth, if my child got to the point of literally pulling her hair out from being upset about being bullied, some heads would be rolling. I would pull her out in a second, but if that really isn't possible, I would request a meeting with the teacher & the principal, and if it wasn't resolved immediately, I wouldn't stop short of calling up her parents myself and telling them what's going on. Your baby needs you, so I say you do what you have to to ensure it stops, period. If the girl lies, just say so and explain what's going on. I think if you explain that your daughter is literally pulling her hair out, most reasonable people will take you seriously, especially if they know your daughter is generally a good kid. Force them to come up with some real solutions (confront mean girl and tell her "we know what's going on and it WILL stop / we are watching you," have teacher watch her like a hawk, don't let her talk to your daughter at all, put your daughter or mean girl in a different class, separated at lunch, etc).

 

Hope you can get it resolved. Put your mama gloves on.

 

:grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

HA!! RC, anyone who bullies a girl with three brothers has got to be an idiot. Good job.

 

Dd12 was being "bullied" by a boy who actually was just behaving physically and verbally....... Because he had a crush on dd! We were at the leader of our homeschool group's house when the kid AGAIN went after dd physically. She flat out threw him to the floor. :lol::lol::lol: he was so embarrassed that he wanted to go home! This kid is a red or black belt in karate, the samr height as dd, but has a much bigger build than dd. I was SO proud of her.:D

 

Ds20 was too much of a softie but when he had finally had enough with him bully, he also threw him to the ground. The kid cried! They were juniirs or seniors at the time. After ds did that he gained the respect of the bullu..... And others.

 

I hate bullies. I still wonder what happened to the poor kid who was bullied relentlessly when I was in school. I have done google searches and can't find his name anywhere. I hope he is very happy.

[Denisemomof4]

astrid, please keep us updated on Kayak's condition. I have never dealt with tendon injuries and didn't realize how serious it could be. I remember Fable Pony's horror. I also hope Kayak's skin has a good blood supply to it.

[Lisbeth]

I am sorry to hear about Kayak, and I will pray for him, and for your DD.

 

When my DD was bullied recently by her lying, drama queen, former best friend and that friend's cohorts, I took matters into my own hands because I knew a lot about the bully.

 

I called Bully's Mommy and informed her about the criminal and civil laws and told her that if Bully OR any of her friends harmed my DD in any way, we would have them all arrested (criminal conspiracy + various crimes), sue them all civilly (money judgment lasts 20 years & can be renewed), inform the JROTC leader at the high school, inform the USAF recruiter before Bully signed her enlistment papers, and ask the FBI and the DEA to investigate Bully and her friends (one of whom is pregnant and uses heroin).

 

I told Bully's Mommy what the consequence of the above actions would mean for Bully and her friends.

 

I also made sure my DD was always in the company of a big, strong, male at school. She has lots of friends, and the young men are always happy to be body guards.

 

It worked. Bully and her friends didn't do a thing. In the future, they will probably think more than twice before bullying someone because now they know how it feels, given that I had to be a Bigger Bully to pull this off. Well, maybe not, as I would have made good on my promises if the bullying hadn't ceased.

 

If you deal with the Bully's parents because the bullying took place outside of school, then the good news is that you can casually mention how the parents could (not would) lose their house because their bully-child was a minor when the bullying occurred. It doesn't have to be true, btw -- you are trying to galvanize the parents into making sure that the bullying stops, period. In my case, the Bully was 18, so I had to reassure the parents that they would not lose their house when they expressed that fear - the consequences would fall squarely and only on the Bully and her friends.

 

Now, if I had not been willing, able, knowledgeable, and if I did not have connections to pull this off, I would have visited the principal of the high school and put the fear of a lawsuit onto him (a rational fear) if he did not stop the bullying at once. (In my case I knew that dealing with Bully's Mommy likely would be all that was necessary.)

 

I would not ask; I would tell. I would use the following terms without defining them for the principal unless he asked for a definition. I would not threaten a lawsuit unless it was my last or only option to force the school district to respond. I would go to the school superintendent and the school board, if I thought it was necessary.

 

Bullying at school or on the bus or at a school-sponsored event can consist of:

 

Terroristic threats = a threat to violently harm another. I am going to kill you, I am going to beat you to a bloody pulp.

 

Assault = threat of bodily harm or offensive contact plus a present ability to cause the harm. Whether contact is offensive, btw, depends on how the threatened person feels. So, it can include Bully saying I am going to toss grape juice on your ballgown at a school dance, I am going to hit you, I am going to kiss you whether you like it or not.

 

Battery = an intentional and unpermitted act which causes harm or offensive contact. This can be as simple as a kiss, or a surgeon cutting off the wrong leg, or someone being beaten up, or grape juice being tossed onto a $300 ballgown.

 

Slander = telling a lie about another person which will harm that person's reputation (spoken). Gossip at school fits the bill.

 

Libel = telling a lie about another person, in a published writing, which will harm that person's reputation. Bully passes a libelous note to another at school.

 

Sexual harassment = any comment at all by a bully which refers to a person's appearance or body, or which twists their name into a sexual word. The key here is that sexual harassment is a hot button phrase that can galvanize a school administrator into decisive action. This is not a legal definition, but then again, you are not dealing with lawyers.

 

My stance is that anyone who bullies my DD has to come through me. I will make sure they regret it and will never do it again. It helps a lot that every bully I have ever met is a coward.

This! I pull the nuclear option like this, too. Believe me, it works. I don't play around with bullies.

[Teachin'Mine]

Astrid how is everyone?

 

Sending more prayers. :grouphug:

[LibraryLover]

Oh no! That is a special dog, and Molly is a special young woman! I wish you all the best JuJu.

[hillfarm]

Regarding Kayak's leg, it might help if you could manually increase the circulation of blood and lymph into and out of his leg. Clear this with your vet first. Research (or talk to the vet) about where the blood and lymph pathways lie and then using light pressure, stroke as close to the skin as possible in the direction that would move blood down in and take waste products out. This will help optimize healing.

 

In most mammals, the major lymph collection areas are just above the "breastbone" area where the top ribs come together to the sternum and also at the top of the inner side of the lower/hind legs. (I'm assuming that a foreleg was injured so reverse this if it was a hind leg.) Start near the point where the most forward ribs come to the center and stroke your fingers toward the lymph duct. Then move away from that site about 3 inches and "sweep" toward the duct site, retracing the area you did in the first round. With each successive "round" move about 3 inches farther away from the initial duct and sweep over the 3 new inches plus retrace taht which you have already done. Go all the way down to near the injury site. You can do this 2 or 3 times a day. http://www.animaloptions.com.au/index.php?page=lymph-drainage-for-animals

Be careful not to tug on the injury site, but your pressure should be so light that it wouldn't really pull very hard at all, even if you did accidentally get too close.

 

You can also do very light friction circles (about the size of a dime) around the injury site, in a ring about 2 inches away from the site.

 

In general, you can massage the rest of Kayak's whole body with moderate pressure to help relieve tension and cramped up muscles if he is having trouble with the confinement. Most animals I have worked with that were confined absolutely loved getting gentle stretches for their uninjured legs, back and neck.

 

Contraindications for the massage - and a clear signal to stop - would be if the dog gets too excited and wants to play as a result, if he appears to be in pain and trying to avoid the massage, if the tender, healing tissue would be disrupted, or if the dog's circulatory system is compromised and would not be able to handle the increased circulation.

 

On the bullying front, I would suggest a major Mom intervention with the bully and her family, laying all the legal facts out on the line. Which would probably necessitate a visit with local law enforcement so you can get the facts straight prior to laying them out. If things aren't resolved immediately, I would suggest a second visit either with or from a law enforcement officer.

 

I would also find a local school that teaches reality based self defense and enroll your daughter. It might really help her to feel less out-of-control if she could learn some specific things she could do to protect herself. It is great to surround her with protective friends, but it is impossible to provide constant, long-term body guards. Help her to learn how to help herself in case she gets separated from her protectors.

 

Wish you were closer. I would come over and massage Kayak and kick some major butt for Molly. Plus encourage you to indulge in some wine and chocolate and to put your feet up for 30 minutes so you could ponder these troubles and work out a good plan of attack.