How much reign do your kids' friends have at your house?

[suppleasthewind]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

1. Absolutely NOT! Ugh. The thought of someone else's child's feet on my pillow makes me want to vomit.

2. Personally, I don't care. But, if you have a rule of no shoes, friends should follow it willingly.

3. If my kids had a friend that kept breaking the rules, he/she wouldn't be coming over anymore. Your particular situation isn't fair to your neat freak. What is your son who has the friend over doing during this time? Is he watching his friend make the mess?

4. I don't care about wrestling. Just don't get in my way.

5. See number 3.

6. Absolutely not. Door slamming is dangerous! My husband's brothers both lost fingers that way.

[DianeW88]

Well, none of those things are allowed in my house, but none of my kids' friends have ever attempted to behave that way. :001_huh: I can't even imagine it.

[ErinE]

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? Not allowed at all. Everyone kicked out of the house for this and not allowed in for the rest of the day.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? My rule is take them off. Everyone does it at the front door; shoes are placed in a big basket.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? Not allowed. Offender would need to leave.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? In their rooms or not in my way. If you don't like it, tell them to take it outside.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Not allowed. Offender needs to leave.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? Not allowed; too dangerous. Friends have lost fingers doing this.

[freesia]

Sometimes playdates are easy. Some are not. The easy ones get asked back more often. I answered your questions within your quote:

 

 

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

No, this is dangerous. I do not let my kids friends in my room or the office (unless I've okayed a short computer time.)

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

We take ours off but I did not grow up with that tradition. I let kids and adult visitors choose what they are comfortable with. As I don't vacuum before kids come over to play (bc I know I'll have to after :-) ) it doesn't bother me.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

Honestly, I would remove neat freak child from the room and speak with him about being a better host. Unless, of course, the visitor was indiscriminately trashing the room. Depending on whether this friend helps clean up or not, I may, in the future, limit the amount of time he plays at my house or in that room.

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

9 year old boys wrestle. Alot. Even the "best behaved" boys we know come to our house and wrestle. Alot. I send them outside.

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

Young kids are still learning manners. He should have asked but thinking this way does not come easily to many kids, particularly boys.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

No. This, too, is dangerous.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

I think I would find this child stressful, too. Sometimes we have friends we only meet at the park. That is okay.

 

eta: I missed the part where you'd told the child not to go into neat freaks room. I would have called the mother and told her that he wasn't listening to me and the play date was over. Well, in nicer words.

Edited April 29, 2012 by freesia

[suppleasthewind]

Thank you. I feel better. My house is so small and my kids are so energetic I used to let them run around wrestling. However, since they are turning 9 in a month or so I think they are too old for that. Time to lay down the law.

[DesertDweller]

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? No. Never let mine. I wouldn't let them just because friend was over, and I would be upset if kids came over and did that.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? It never bothered me as long as they were clean. If you have a policy about taking shoes off, I would expect them to respect that.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? I would tell them to stay out and find somewhere else to play.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? I never allowed it.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Tell them to stop. If they don't listen, I would send them home.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? Never did.

 

I think kids should have respect for the rules when they are at someone's house. The first time they do something it may because they didn't know, but once they are aware that some things aren't allowed, they should stop. If not, they need to go outside or home.

[Snickerdoodle]

I have had that happen before. What makes me mad is when the mom is also here and she doesn't correct her own child. Running, jumping on furniture and slamming doors at that age is simply not tolerable.

 

Boys like to wrestle. Fine. That's outside play.

Edited April 29, 2012 by Snickerdoodle

[myfunnybunch]

Guests follow house rules. I am polite, but if they can't behave, I send them home. When my girls were young, we had some neighbors kids who taught me really quickly that being "nice" wasn't doing any of us a favor. I realized that the parents had no clue how their kids were behaving when they weren't there to see/correct, so I started teaching and correcting. Things smoothed out some, though the kids continued to be a bit challenging.

 

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

1. No. But for some reason they all want to anyway. :confused: LOL I just remind them and send them OUTSIDE.

 

2. Don't care.

 

3. Neat freak: Either I'd place the room off-limits, or I'd institute a clean-up policy--All children clean-up ten minutes before visitors go home. If Visitor kept going into any room that was placed off-limits, I'd send the child home.

 

4. Don't care. Not in the living room, though. I usually send them to the bedroom or the play room.

 

5. If Vistor doesn't know, teach. If Visitor does know and does it anyway, an appropriate consequence is to be sent home, happy to see you tomorrow when I'm sure you'll be able to stay out of the gerbil cage/bedroom/pantry.... ETA: I'd make sure there are "Keep Out" or "Ask First" signs, or locks, on small pet cages. They're too tempting for kids with poor impulse control or who don't know to ask or whose family rules allow playing with pets, and it would be a shame for the poor pet to pay the price.

 

6. No. No. No. Slamming doors is VERBOTEN. A sure way to make Mom turn purple and green and start frothing at the mouth. LOL Everyone outside.

 

:grouphug:

 

Cat

Edited April 29, 2012 by myfunnybunch

[Amy Jo]

I solve all these by requiring the children play outside. (And when/if they go to the neighbors, they are to play outside there as well. If it's not nice enough to be outside they can come home. Or the friends go home.) I also work to reduce stimulation when there are extra kids - they wind themselves up without any help.

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

No my bedroom is off-limits. I have a locking door (keyed lock).

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

I allow it right now because I have small children, and I'd rather they make it to the bathroom than have an accident. I'd love to have a no-shoes rule, maybe later on.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

Lock the door (kids have a non-keyed lock, so a coin or a credit card open it easily). Tell the friend they'll have to play outside, clean up, or go back home.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

Not unless you have more floor space than I do. :tongue_smilie: They'd break things here.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

Hmmm, the kids (mine) do get the ferret out sometimes. They know whoever gets her out has to watch her (she escapes!). It hasn't been a problem yet, and the neighbor kids ask to see her once in a while, I do have to stay near to be sure they don't get rough with her. I'd have no problem making the ferret off-limits if I thought it best, and evicting children outside (or to the main room / a specific room, I know not everyone has a yard). I have told them to stop chasing chickens, but so far they have listened. If they are real excited I might have to raise my voice, look stern and make eye contact, but they've been pretty good. I'll tell them the chicken needs to eat, and sometimes ask how they would feel if someone chased them away from their dinner. Can you explain that the gerbil is fragile (or whatever) and needs to be in his house?

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

No. No doors are slammed here, the whole place shakes. Plus the doors aren't that sturdy. :D

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

Yeah - send them outside. I let them in one or two at a time for the bathroom or a drink. If they weren't neighbors (and couldn't go home) I'd probably let them play in the family room with the toys or watch a movie - but only if the weather was bad. If little German kids have an outdoor kindergarten, 5-10 year olds can certainly play outside on cool days!

 

I don't think you are being unreasonable. That sounds like outside behavior, so send them out! You might lay down 2-3 simple rules: No shoes in the house. You must play quietly in the ___ room or go outside. And leave the gerbil in his cage.

[*********]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? *MY* kids, yes. Friends, no.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? Those who live here take their shoes off when coming in. Most visitors do, too, since they notice that we do. If adult visitors don't, we generally don't say anything. But we might ask a child to take of their shoes if they left them on when they got here, but now they were going to go upstairs to the bedroooms.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? I would tell 'neat freak child' that it's ok to be messy while we're playing, and I'd make sure everyone helped clean up when they were done. what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? If a visiting child kept going into a room they knew they weren't supposed to go into, then they'd be sent to their parents (if their parents were present) or sent home eventually.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? Depends. I let my 6 and 9 year olds wrestle each other a bit, but I know they're not going to try and hurt one another. If friends were over, I'd likely have a 'no wrestling' rule, so that no one got hurt.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Friend would be instructed not to do that again and why. If friend did it again, a consequence would be given for the next time it happened.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? NO! Slamming doors in 'play' or not is not allowed in our house, ever. Good way to lose a finger.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

For sure! :D Send them outside.

Edited April 29, 2012 by bethanyniez

[KS_]

I solve all these by requiring the children play outside. (And when/if they go to the neighbors, they are to play outside there as well. If it's not nice enough to be outside they can come home.

 

That's what I do, too. The neighbor kids just aren't allowed in the house, and my kids aren't allowed to go into their houses. It just makes things simpler.

[black_midori]

Wow - time to put your foot down!! :)

 

I LOVE when my son's friends come over to play - it is super-relaxing for me (usually) because the kids get along really well, behave very nicely, and often spend hours playing outside or with legos. The only times I find it stressful is when there are tiffs with the older kids not wanting to play with younger bro, but this doesn't usually happen (since most of 8yo's friends are 6yo's friends also, and all generally get along great).

 

I can't imagine having kids over that disregarded things I asked them to do - that would DEFINITELY be something I took up with their parents right away with a phone call.

 

I have only really had a *BIG* problem 1 time, when some older boys came over to play (12 yo) and ended up drilling a hole in the garage wall. I discussed it with him & his mom (who discussed it with him in detail) and he wasn't allowed back over to my house for a looooong time. When he was allowed back over, he wasn't allowed free-reign of the area (he was required to always stay with another kid, who knew not to let him mess around, or he had to stay inside in close proximity to adults). Eventually, we just "faded away" from having him over at all.

 

I am pretty strict in general, but looser on guests. However, none of those behaviors would be tolerated here (including wrestling - I don't like it and won't have it in my house).

 

eta - except the shoe thing; they have to take them off if they are dirty, and are supposed to put them on when they go outside, but otherwise I am apathetic.

[sassenach]

I always feel like my kids are easier with friends around.

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

Absolutely not. Friends are never allowed in my room.

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? We make kids take off their shoes on the carpet.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? I have this dynamic in my home (neat freak rooming with slob). If it's normal mess, then I tell neat freak to get over it and I make sure the kids clean up after themselves. If it's crazy mess, I make the kids clean up the room and then go play outside.what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? I kick them outside. In fact, we have one neighbor kid who is so obnoxious, I never let him play in my house. Backyard only. It's a rare kid that doesn't follow house rules, though.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? Yes, but you can kick them out if it bugs you.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Then that kid plays outside from now on. Are you verbally correcting this kid? I would have a talk with the mom if the kid is blatantly ignoring so many rules.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? No.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

[SunnyDays]

Bedrooms are not public areas here either. I'm not a fan of other kids playing in my son's room... I know I'm probably in the minority on that... but I feel bedrooms are private sanctuary spaces. :) And honestly, I'm really protective of my space and time... I'm not a big fan of kids in my house anyway!! (My son can come in though, he lives here. ;) )

 

We also don't have a lot of playdates. He plays outside with neighbor kids, we meet friends at parks a lot, etc. Not too many of our friends live near us, they're scattered all over the surrounding area, so we meet at mutually convenient places.

 

I would definitely start laying down solid rules... there's absolutely no reason for other kids to be in your room, let alone jumping on your bed, or otherwise disrupting your home.

[kewb]

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? Absolutely not. No guests are allowed upstairs where the bedrooms are located. If I found a guest jumping on any bed they would be told to get down.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? Don't care. The dog tracks in so much dirt shoes don't matter. However, my children know to follow the rules of the house they are guests in if they want to be invited back.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? Visitor who repeats an action they have been told not do is sent home.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? Not unless you have the space for it.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? They would be instructed to close the door and reminded that one must ask prior to doing.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? Absolutely not. Doors are not toys. Someone could get hurt.

 

It sounds like you need to set ground rules when kids come over and let them know upfront that breaking the rules means they go home immediately. This does require follow through when they test it out.

[Night Elf]

Are these kids that are getting dropped off by parents, or are they neighborhood kids?

 

Neighborhood: They all go outside and I would tell them why. They are disrespecting you and your things when you made the rules clear. If they don't want to play outside, I would truly tell them they need to go back to their house. If the parents have a problem with that, I wouldn't have a problem explaining how they don't follow house rules. People get into such a tizzy when they think someone is being mean to their kids, especially when they see the kids as angels who would never do anything wrong. I would have a huge problem with a family like that.

 

Kids dropped off: I would have a discussion with whatever parent is available. I would say I love when [kid name] comes to visit but I'm having a difficult time getting kid to follow rules. I am bothered by

1. and would love some advice on how to get their child to listen to me. If the parent thinks their kids are fine and are doing no harm, I simply wouldn't allow them to come for a visit anymore.

 

Can you tell I've dealt with parents who really don't care about my rules or feelings?

 

My bedroom would be off limits. I've never had children want to play in my room so that would be very strange for me. I am siding with the neat freak child here. I don't think he should get over it when his personal space is being violated by unruly guests. From what you're describing, these are unruly guests. I recognize this can be a problem for siblings sharing a room. However, that room is half his and if his half isn't being respected and it's upsetting him, it's time for the visitor to leave the room.

 

I would put the pet cage in my room and close the door. I would never allow unauthorized handling of very small pets. One too-tight squeeze can hurt the animal and honestly, these kids you are describing don't sound trustworthy.

[laundrycrisis]

Neighbor kids - outside only, regardless of weather. Access to backyard is maybe once or twice per year. Not allowed in our garage either.

 

Visiting friends who are not neighbors - play only in the basement play area, or front room of ground floor while supervised, or outside. No access to upstairs/bedrooms. No running inside, slamming doors, wrestling etc.

 

Dogs are not allowed to be played with while friends are here.

 

I do not let my own or anyone else's children tear around out of control in our house.

[StephanieZ]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

No way. NO KIDS are allowed in my room in general, and NO VISITORS are EVER allowed in my room. EVER.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

 

I don't care.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

 

Visitors need to respect my rules. Or else they are offered a pleasant ride HOME. Sometimes I have had to kneel down and firmly and gently offer a child a ride home if they can't respect my rules. I've never had to actually take them home.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

 

If it's OK with all parents and you have a safe carpeted rec room.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

 

No way. Animals are only handled if being supervised by adults (if the kids are very young) or by the pet's owner/child (if I trust the child to supervise properly). No visitors can handle animals w/o the pet's owner's OK.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

 

Noone is EVER allowed to play/slam/etc with ANY doors. Doors and steps are not play things. EVER.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

Yup, good thing for outdoor play!

 

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[NASDAQ]

1. No one plays in my bedroom at any time.

 

2. No shoes at any time. That is the norm where I live though.

 

3. I can't have kids over who can't obey my instructions.

 

4. Depends on how much room there is.

 

5. Never had a gerbil.

 

6. No one is allowed to slam doors at any time. Is it raining outside or something?

[JFSinIL]

When my kids have friend over those kids soon realize that as long as they are in my house I am Mom to them, too. I expect them to behave like I expect my own to behave. Most of what you describe would NOT be tolerated for one moment here, no matter whether it was mine or a visiting kid doing it.

[Janie Grace]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

I welcome my kids' friends. I want our house to be somewhere they all feel welcome and loved, otherwise my kids will want to play elsewhere. It's important to me that our home is an open one; we're not isolationists and relationships are really important to all of us. HOWEVER, I have no problem at all with "my house, my rules" and I'd expect the same from the parents of my dc's friends. To me, that's common courtesy.

 

1. No kids in my bedroom (except my kids when invited/hanging with me).

2. No shoes in the house. We live in the country. It's muddy. All the kids around here are used to kicking off their boots in the mudroom/porch wherever they go!

3. I'd want to train neat freak kid that hospitality is more important than our personal preferences (within reason). I'd also help him get his room back to rights after the guest has gone, if guest's clean-up contribution didn't cut it. However, if visitor isn't listening to me -- everyone plays outside, sorry guys.

4. Yes, 9 yo boys can wrestle in their room (nowhere else). But that's our house rules. We have a lot of boys and they love to wrestle. If I was uncomfortable with wrestling, I wouldn't feel badly about disallowing it.

5. No. "Please don't play with Sam the gerbil, he's nervous around strangers, might run out and get lost, etc. -- whatever excuse you want to give." I wouldn't like unauthorized gerbil petting. It would make me nervous for the pet's well-being if the kid didn't know how to treat it.

6. No slamming doors. That's a normal house rule.

 

My general tactic is to remind the whole group of kids of the rule, as if I don't know the guest kid was the offender. That way I'm not calling out the guest kid, but they all get the message about the rule. My own kids know that I do this (they don't go "Mom, it wasn't me!") -- they say "okay Mom" to model to the neighbor kids that Mom's rules have to be obeyed. They know that I will kick everyone out if it's getting crazy. I find that the neighbor kids respect our rules and home really well once they learn the ropes.

[Pretty in Pink]

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? Nope. My kids are not allowed to do that and neither are their friends.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? My kids take off their shoes and so do their friends. We have a baby crawling around on the floor!

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? In our home you are responsible for cleaning up after your guests, so the kid who invited the friend would clean up his sibling's space. If the guest is obstinate and refuses to stay out of the room after I ask then the guest will not be invited back before I have a discussion with his or her parents.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? Boys will be boys. I tell them to take it outside.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Once, innocently? Explain why we don't do that and ask them to please ask if they would like to pet the gerbil.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? Nobody is allowed to slam doors in this house. I'd tell them to knock it off!

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

My children's guests are allowed to do whatever my children are allowed to do, no more or less (excepting if their families have more stringent media guidelines that we do, in which case we follow the more stringent guidelines when said guests are present). When it gets to rowdy I just send them outside. We've had no problem guests in the past.

[besroma]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed? No, never.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house? Off at the door!

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? Help them clean up, tell them to keep it neater, and help the neat freak deal with it, maybe by diverting the child's attention to something else. what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there? Tell the child if he/she does not obey, that he/she will be sent home.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house? Send them outside.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil? Tell the child if he/she does not obey, that he/she will be sent home.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other? No, never.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

 

We limit almost all playing to outdoors, which eliminates a lot of these issues (speaking here more of neighborhood kids....we don't have issues with friends we invite over for a visit. If we did, we probably would not be inviting them again!).

Edited April 30, 2012 by besroma

[besroma]

double post

[ChristineW]

My children's guests are allowed to do whatever my children are allowed to do, no more or less (excepting if their families have more stringent media guidelines that we do, in which case we follow the more stringent guidelines when said guests are present). When it gets to rowdy I just send them outside. We've had no problem guests in the past.

 

:iagree:

[Julie in CA]

I'm finding that my three children take almost all of my energy and when their friends show up I feel resentful of them taking up more energy. I don't know if I need a chill pill. What are your thoughts on these situations:

 

1. do you let kids and their friends wrestle and jump in your bedroom on your bed?

No kids in my room at all, and my own children ask before they come in.

 

2. what do you think about shoes being worn in your house?

I like my guests more than I care about what they're wearing on their feet. I don't care if they wear their shoes, and I would hope that if it makes them uncomfortable to take them off, that they *would* leave them on.

 

3. what if two of your kids share a room and one kids friend messes up the room while neat freak child is yelling and upset? what if you told visitor to not go in room and he keeps going in there?

Neat freak needs to seriously chill, and that would be my focus. Messy kid needs to be reminded to clean it up afterwards.

 

4. should 9 year old boys be wrestling in the house?

It happened at my house, and didn't bother me unless it became un-fun for one or more of the parties involved, or in the case that it looked like they might break something. When I had younger kids I accepted the fact that I should safeguard things that might get broken.

 

5. what about friends opening up gerbil cage without asking and playing with gerbil?

This would not bother me at all, unless I'd already made a point of asking them not to.

 

6. do you let 9 year olds run around slamming doors on each other?

Nobody in our house slams doors, so this would be a non-question at my house.

 

Good thing summer is coming. I think kids will be playing outside a lot.

Always a good idea, and really, I think the kids prefer the freedom anyway.

 

:grouphug: The time when these things are happening in your house is either (depending on your perspective) a fleeting moment that comes and then is gone, leaving you with whatever attitude and memories you choose to take from it.

 

OR...

 

A time of trial, annoyance, and testing of patience.

 

It's kind of up to you on which way you want to go with it. ;)