Mama Geek Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I was reading LaughingLioness's post on end of life questions and it got me thinking once again about how to decided what my wishes are when that time comes. Dh and I are from 2 very different locations. We have moved around a lot and I expect that not to change. My family is buried mostly in 2 cemeteries and dh's family is the same way. We very rarely get to any of them because they are so far away from where we live and it is unlikely that we will ever go back to living near any of those places. We have at times tried to discuss wishes but neither one of us really has a strong preference for 1 place over another. So if you have moved around a lot and don't really have roots anywhere, where have you chosen and how did you decide? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeker of Schole Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Cremation. Based on a combination of not wanting my own children to feel 'tied to' or 'responsible for' visiting my grave (oldest already has big, globe trotting plans), and not really having someplace I want to be buried. I would rather be cremated and have them dispose of my ashes someplace neat. They can do some sort of little ceremony for themselves, if they would like. If it matters, we also believe that a funeral is a celebration of a life lived - hopefully to its fullest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 my dh hates talking about such but I decided years ago that I wanted cremation....I have a paper written out stating last wishes and all but hopefully will get a more formal/proper "will" done sometime... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butterflymommy Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Cremation and ashes scattered wherever. :001_smile::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I do NOT want embalmed or anything done to me. Put me in a wood box in the ground in my family's cemetery. It's in Kentucky up on a mountain and reserved just for my family. It's out of the way, but I would like to return to nature and I'm terrified of cremation. I don't want my grave to be somewhere they ponder upon or visit often. That's just my body. So I don't mind it being far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 I am not even sure what I think about cremation. I am a pretty conservative Christian and am not sure about it. I know it is something that is done, but it is pretty foreign to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted February 28, 2012 Author Share Posted February 28, 2012 I do NOT want embalmed or anything done to me. Put me in a wood box in the ground in my family's cemetery. It's in Kentucky up on a mountain and reserved just for my family. It's out of the way, but I would like to return to nature and I'm terrified of cremation. I don't want my grave to be somewhere they ponder upon or visit often. That's just my body. So I don't mind it being far away. I understand this, but I also know that I would like to visit more than I am able to. Also will your dh be buried next to you and is he from the same area? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Personally I don't care if I'm buried near specific relatives for the "social aspect" of being in the ground together. Nor do I care about that from an organizational standpoint (must keep the relatives neatly ordered on the coffin spice rack). I remember when hubby's dad died a few years ago, he wanted to put money down on burial plots because there was "a sale." These prices wouldn't be available decades from now! (yes he's a bargain hunter) So I gave him a list of 10 things I would prefer to buy AHEAD of burial plots, and that I would enjoy a whole lot more. I said if you buy me those things first, then I'll let you get the burial plots. He laughed and said okay, we'll let the kids decide where to bury us. Which is part of my point. We buried his dad here in Florida, and we can visit his grave regularly, and we take MIL and the kids with us to do so. If HE had bought a burial plot years ago when he tried to talk my MIL into it (who, incidentally, had a similar reaction to mine!), then we would've had to ship his body to that location, and not to any real benefit. So we're letting the kids decide where they want to bury us. After all, if anyone's going to be visiting, it will be them. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 We have a cemetery adjacent to our property. That is where my dh and I will be. Within view of our home and right next to our cows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Both of my parents were cremated. It was such a wonderful experience. Part of my father's ashes are with my mothers in MO, and part are in the mountains of New Mexico where he loved to hunt. His family and closest friends put them in different places he loved. It was a great way to say goodbye and now he is in our hearts not a cemetery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Our wills do not have any stipulations about our burials. DH and I are in total agreement that we do not care what happens to our body once we are gone. Whichever one of us is left will do whatever is best for, while they are young, the children's grieving process or, when we are old, our current situation. If we should go together I trust our families to do what is best for the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Cremation, ashes scattered on my farm, which is a dream come true for me. Before we bought this house and built our barn, I wanted cremation and ashes scattered across the ocean. I have a huge love affair with sea life, mainly whales, dolphins, seals, turtles. If my kids or dh want any ashes, they can place some in a mini urn. I have some of each of my parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macmacmoo Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 As a military family with no "home," we plan to be cremated. Our second son was stillborn at 38 weeks, he was cremated. His ashes are in a little heart urn that fits inside a Teddy bear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Honestly, I could not care less what happens to my body after I die, other than my dh knows I'd like to donate any organs that are able to be used. Whatever helps those left behind the most is what they should do. I'll be busy worshipping Jesus, and I won't be thinking about my earthly body anymore. So perhaps leave it up to your children to decide? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If you have seen the movie Rocket Gibralter that is what I want - to be pushed out on a raft aflame:). I probably won't get that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 All possible organs donated. Cremated. Ashes buried in the roots of a new tree or spread in a garden that means something to dh and I. Anyone who wants to visit the garden can. Otherwise I like to think of my elements moving on to be useful and beautiful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 My dh is more disconnected from his family than I am, and he wants to be cremated. I have a very specific cemetery in my hometown that I want to be buried in. There are relatives buried there from many generations of my family, and I have very warm feelings associated with walking through the cemetery learning the stories. I've always wanted to be buried there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 My dh wants to be cremated and have his ashes spread over a golf course. I want to be buried in a certain cemetery where all of my dad's side of the family is buried. I've told hubby it will be sad when I reach out to him from my grave and he's not there. He looks at me like I've lost my mind :lol: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Would you mind saying why? Nightmares I've had since childhood about burning alive. I understand this, but I also know that I would like to visit more than I am able to. Also will your dh be buried next to you and is he from the same area? Dh goes back and forth between cremation and being catapulted into the ocean. :glare: My family visits the graveyard to care for it twice a year. It's very isolated in the wilderness. We camp and do maintenance when we're not hiking. That's what I want. Not a pristine groomed graveyard. Nature surrounded by mountain lion dens and forest. I also don't want a headstone. I want a bench for people to sit and wonder at the beauty around them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 If there is anything that is able to be donated, I want it donated. The rest of me, I would like to have cremated. I don't particularly care what happens to the ashes, if there is something that is meaningful to the ones left behind, then they can do what they want with them. The reasons I want to be cremated are: 1) It's cheaper than a traditional funeral, which is financially easier on my loved ones 2) It's less creepy to me than the idea of being stuck underground 3) I figure eventually they have to run out of room to bury all those coffins and bodies, right? I'm helping out! 4) I don't think coffins, embalming fluids, chemicals etc are all that friendly to the environment to begin with My husband on the other hand for some reason is really bothered by the idea of being cremated and does want to be buried). So we'll be going our separate ways after death. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I vote for cremation (why do I keep wanting to spell that with an extra "a"? Do I need dairy?). Tuck my ashes in a little box on a shelf behind some books. I quite like the idea of spending whatever comes next surrounded by books. My husband, on the other hand, desires a full Viking funeral with a flaming longboat (or, alternatively, something akin to Patroclus's funeral, complete with a pyre and a golden urn). I suspect the EPA might have something to say about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 We just went through this with my MIL. She was cremated. And it STILL cost 2k. I'm thinking the Pyre in the backyard might be a better way to go. :001_rolleyes: FTR, we did not have her cremated in a coffin, it was just the 'cheap' box. We'd already gone through this with his dad, so we pretty much knew what she wanted. I think on their wedding anniversary we will combine their ashes. FIL's are still in the box on the shelf in the back of the closet, 12 years after he died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xilka Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'll be donating my organs to a foundation that will dispose of the rest of my body. I don't want my son paying for any part of it. It'd be nice if a tree was planted somewhere in my name, but it doesn't need to have my ashes or anything like that. But basically, the cheapest and most eco-friendly riddance of my remains is what I want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 We recently had to bury our niece. My sister gave birth to twins and one past away immediately. The price for burial between two different funeral homes and two different cemeteries was a difference of &9000. Since, the parents decided to wait awhile before having the funeral, because they would have to leave the sick twin and travel 3 hours to the funeral and 3 hours back. They decided to wait until she was healthier. This gave my husband and I time to price things out. We were shocked! The beautiful cemetery that I've been saying for years that I wanted to buried in was crazy priced! The first fancy, slick looking funeral home we went to (which was the one we thought we would end up at!) had charges upon charges. The second funeral home we called and they asked us to come in. They had caskets for us to pick out, versus a catalog, and walked us through the choices carefully. When we asked what the bill would come to, there was no fee! We sat in shock! They even had a necklace for my sister made with her daughter's fingerprint etched into the cross. They didn't charge the family anything! The director even had to drive the three hours both way to pick up the body, with no charge. Then, they explain how to bury the baby in the county that the parents actually live in for practically nothing. They went beyond what we could ever expect a funeral home to do. Now, when people ask which funeral home to go to, we quietly tell them our experience and strongly suggest that they go check out the quiet little funeral home. They should change their slogan to the little funeral home that cares! All that for my point, shop around when you are calm and not in a rush. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 The price difference between burying my mother and father was shocking. Only two years apart, about $4000 difference for the same arrangements. We went to a particular funeral home when my Dad died because that's what Mom wanted. I really didn't like them, but they got it done. When she went into hospice, I began calling around, and discovered that the first place had gone into bankruptsy, everyone working there left, and a new owner took over and had been in business six months. Nope. Picked another that family friends recommended. Very accomodating, much less expensive. We dealt with one person, beginning to end and he called me a week after I got home to see if I was still pleased with how things went. Then the owner called a month later to also check if we were still happy and to see if I had gotten the death certificates. So I learned to listen when people talk about local services like that. I've already told DH which one I'd want if we're still in the area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I'll be cremated (already paid for) and the ashes buried in my mother's family plot, in the cemetary next to the church (and near the elementary school) I attended as a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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