Very Important Holiday PSA

[ravinlunachick]

If you travel to relatives' homes for the holidays, PLEASE think to ask about firearms, and where or how they are stored. Even if you think you know, ask again.

 

I found out a couple days ago that my mother has a LOADED .357 handgun under her pillow in her bedroom. This is the bedroom that has no door, where my kids kept slipping off to on Thanksgiving, and where I thought the worst that could happen was that they'd break some knicknack. She just casually mentioned it to me, too. I'd never have asked, because my parents have always been very cautious when it comes to guns, and they've always been stored in locked cases or unloaded, up high in gun racks.

 

The absolute horror of all the "what ifs" is hitting me now, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't tell you how much I dread going over there for Christmas.

[Ipsey]

If you travel to relatives' homes for the holidays, PLEASE think to ask about firearms, and where or how they are stored. Even if you think you know, ask again.

 

I found out a couple days ago that my mother has a LOADED .357 handgun under her pillow in her bedroom. This is the bedroom that has no door, where my kids kept slipping off to on Thanksgiving, and where I thought the worst that could happen was that they'd break some knicknack. She just casually mentioned it to me, too. I'd never have asked, because my parents have always been very cautious when it comes to guns, and they've always been stored in locked cases or unloaded, up high in gun racks.

 

The absolute horror of all the "what ifs" is hitting me now, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't tell you how much I dread going over there for Christmas.

 

This is such an important reminder! The idea would terrify me too.

I grew up with guns in my house (dad in law enforcement). And we have guns as well (stored away, no ammo), but hearing about loose guns just gets me in the guts every time. I know, personally, three different families who have lost children because guns were not properly stored.

 

I also remind a friend of mine to unload her handgun and store it away when we come to play, otherwise she leaves it loaded in her dresser drawer.

 

That may come across as demanding of me, but it's a concession she's willing to make, and one I won't waver on.

 

Take care, Mama!

[Remudamom]

If she won't move it YOU move it. This might help.........http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_unload_a_Dan_Wesson_357_Magnum_Revolver

[Carol in Cal.]

We had a similar experience. The caution about loaded guns 'around' is still fairly new--only about 10-15 years old. Many of those of the grandparents' generation are still of the former 'teach kids not to point guns at people and everything will be OK' mindset.

[ravinlunachick]

We had a similar experience. The caution about loaded guns 'around' is still fairly new--only about 10-15 years old. Many of those of the grandparents' generation are still of the former 'teach kids not to point guns at people and everything will be OK' mindset.

 

That's what gets me. Daddy was way ahead of his time when it came to gun safety and kids. Sure, he taught me to shoot a rifle at an early age (I was 7), but he also taught me to never point a gun at a person unless I intended to shoot them, and never to shoot anything living I didn't intend to kill. He wouldn't even allow toy guns to be pointed at people! He always kept rifles and shotguns unloaded, and had locks on his handguns. Now, though, he's confined to bed, and I guess Mama is scared, even though they have an alarm system and always lock the doors.

 

Whatever her reasons, I will be ABSOLUTELY sure my kids (and my nieces) aren't in danger while we're there.

[BigMamaBird]

Be sure to have a good talk with your kids too. I grew up around guns and my Dad told me I could see or handle his whenever I wanted . . . IF . . . I asked him first. I knew to NEVER, NEVER, NEVER touch a gun without an approved adult giving it to me first. And that if I ever saw one or a friend with one, I was to leave immediately and tell an adult.

 

You can't control what others do around your children, but you can prepare your own kids as much as possible.

[SJ.]

Wow, under her pillow!?!? :blink: Why?

 

That just reminds me of reading in one of Gavin Debecker's books about a woman in the haze of being half asleep thought she grabbed her asthma inhaler from under her pillow but instead grabbed her handgun and shot herself.

 

I'm glad you learned of this before something bad happened!

[TravelingChris]

I am a gun owner so I am not anti-gun. However, I am very worried about the situation you describe with your mother. I would talk to her and insist that she lock the gun away and unload the bullets. With the little information I have, I have a small suspicion that your mother is developing paranoia, which often happens to elderly who are in the beginnings of dementia. I am not as worried about your children getting hold of the gun as of your mother, at night, not fully awake or aware, getting scared and shooting someone she thinks is an intruder but actually is one of her guests. Unless she is living in an area where there have been a lot of home invasions of people like them (often home invasions are either of drug houses or of ethnicities that tend to have large amounts of cash and/or jewelry at home), I would have a conversation with her to figure out why she is so scared.

[SJ.]

I am a gun owner so I am not anti-gun. However, I am very worried about the situation you describe with your mother. I would talk to her and insist that she lock the gun away and unload the bullets. With the little information I have, I have a small suspicion that your mother is developing paranoia, which often happens to elderly who are in the beginnings of dementia. I am not as worried about your children getting hold of the gun as of your mother, at night, not fully awake or aware, getting scared and shooting someone she thinks is an intruder but actually is one of her guests. Unless she is living in an area where there have been a lot of home invasions of people like them (often home invasions are either of drug houses or of ethnicities that tend to have large amounts of cash and/or jewelry at home), I would have a conversation with her to figure out why she is so scared.

 

Yes - the bolded (bolding mine).

[Moxie]

Watch those bags too! My in-laws were visiting once and they staying in the kids room. Their bags were on the floor. My DS got really sick suddenly and MIL said, "You don't think he would have gotten into FIL pills?" None of us even thought about the fact that their very strong medicine was on the floor, totally within reach. Luckily, it was just the flu but I learned a valuable lesson.

[In the Rain]

Wow! That is truly terrifying. I can't imagine that is ever a normal thing to do, but especially bizarre when you know there are children visiting. :001_huh:

 

The worst thing I have encountered is unidentified pills on the floor near where dh's grandparents take their medicine. I always inspected that area upon arriving at the house when I had toddlers/preschoolers.

[ravinlunachick]

transientChris, that's a point I hadn't really considered. There will be no overnight guests, and my father can't even sit up on his own in the bed, so that's not a concern. They live in an old neighborhood, and in the past few years, everyone that's been there for the last 40 years has died, and there's a whole new crop of strangers all around. Nothing has happened (to my knowledge) but Mama has always had a "scared of the boogey man" outlook on life.

 

Early signs of dementia....now that's a very likely possibility. She is 70 years old.

[cottonmama]

I am not as worried about your children getting hold of the gun as of your mother, at night, not fully awake or aware, getting scared and shooting someone she thinks is an intruder but actually is one of her guests.

 

Maybe you can point this out to her and ask her to put it away somewhere safe at least while she has guests?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Watch those bags too! My in-laws were visiting once and they staying in the kids room. Their bags were on the floor. My DS got really sick suddenly and MIL said, "You don't think he would have gotten into FIL pills?" None of us even thought about the fact that their very strong medicine was on the floor, totally within reach. Luckily, it was just the flu but I learned a valuable lesson.

 

:iagree: Ds2 got into my mom's purse and chewed some of her heart medication when he was 2. I had to take him to the emergency room and get his stomach pumped and stay overnight at the hospital with him hooked up to a heart monitor. Scariest day of my life!

[Julie in CA]

If you travel to relatives' homes for the holidays, PLEASE think to ask about firearms, and where or how they are stored. Even if you think you know, ask again.

 

I found out a couple days ago that my mother has a LOADED .357 handgun under her pillow in her bedroom. This is the bedroom that has no door, where my kids kept slipping off to on Thanksgiving, and where I thought the worst that could happen was that they'd break some knicknack. She just casually mentioned it to me, too. I'd never have asked, because my parents have always been very cautious when it comes to guns, and they've always been stored in locked cases or unloaded, up high in gun racks.

 

The absolute horror of all the "what ifs" is hitting me now, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't tell you how much I dread going over there for Christmas.

I'm just wondering--you found out that she keeps the gun under her pillow, but did she say that she doesn't put it away when the kids are visiting? My mil is someone who would keep a loaded gun under her pillow in general, but would probably put it away when kids were around, then take it out at night again.

[ravinlunachick]

I'm just wondering--you found out that she keeps the gun under her pillow, but did she say that she doesn't put it away when the kids are visiting? My mil is someone who would keep a loaded gun under her pillow in general, but would probably put it away when kids were around, then take it out at night again.

 

No, unfortunately, that's not the case. She was talking about who would inherit my father's rifles, and then she said, "And that would just leave the .357. It's in there under my pillow." {insert smile here--I guess she thought I'd find that funny.}

 

My jaw fell open, and I said, "Under your pillow?!? Is it loaded? In a case? OMG, was it there at Thanksgiving???!"

 

She replied (still smiling), "Yes, it's loaded. No, no case. Yeah, it was there at Thanksgiving. I just didn't think about it, but the kids were back there, weren't they?"

 

At this point, I was so shocked that I didn't say anything. It was time for us to go anyway, and I just left. It's only been in the past day or so that I've really begun to realize what might have happened.

[ravinlunachick]

:iagree: Ds2 got into my mom's purse and chewed some of her heart medication when he was 2. I had to take him to the emergency room and get his stomach pumped and stay overnight at the hospital with him hooked up to a heart monitor. Scariest day of my life!

 

Yikes! I'm glad he was okay! Thank goodness that we hadn't had my youngest yet when FIL was on chemotherapy. They were always dropping meds and not realizing it. My oldest never ever got into anything like that, but my younger two would have eaten them before we knew what was going on.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Yikes! I'm glad he was okay! Thank goodness that we hadn't had my youngest yet when FIL was on chemotherapy. They were always dropping meds and not realizing it. My oldest never ever got into anything like that, but my younger two would have eaten them before we knew what was going on.

 

Yeah. My mom's meds were kind of like your mom's gun. Not in a child-safe location. She had them in a little box with a slide off lid because her arthritic fingers have trouble with the regular medicine bottles. So many things kids can get into!

[5kidsforME]

I'm sure that is a horrible feeling! :grouphug:

 

FTR, I don't begrudge older folks for keeping a weapon handy. My dad was laid up and he kept a gun within reach at all times. It is a very vulnerable feeling not to be able to walk or defend oneself if an intruder comes in.

 

Now that you know that they keep guns unlocked you can remedy that when you get there.

[ktgrok]

That's what gets me. Daddy was way ahead of his time when it came to gun safety and kids. Sure, he taught me to shoot a rifle at an early age (I was 7), but he also taught me to never point a gun at a person unless I intended to shoot them, and never to shoot anything living I didn't intend to kill. He wouldn't even allow toy guns to be pointed at people! He always kept rifles and shotguns unloaded, and had locks on his handguns. Now, though, he's confined to bed, and I guess Mama is scared, even though they have an alarm system and always lock the doors.

 

Whatever her reasons, I will be ABSOLUTELY sure my kids (and my nieces) aren't in danger while we're there.

 

Of course make her put it away SAFELY while you are there. And, maybe, a good christmas gift would be an electronic drawer safe, so she can keep it locked in her nightstand drawer, but easily reachable if she needs it? The biometric ones are not great from what I read, but several come with a keypad to put in a short code.

[dsmith]

I’m not anti-gun by any means and we have firearms in the house, but I don’t think I would be visiting with kids unless that gun was put away responsibly.

[Rivka]

If it were me, I wouldn't be going there over Christmas unless I could be absolutely certain that the gun would be locked away, or a lock put on the bedroom door.

[Jennifer3141]

We're not an anti-gun household - I think DH has between 20 and 30 handguns and rifles (a new Glock is his Xmas present!) and I'm mostly ambivalent about them but how on earth do you sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow??

 

Don't people toss and turn and have weird dreams?

 

Geesh. Last night I dreamt my brother shot me for no reason. (Freud, anyone??) It was a really odd dream. If I had a gun under my pillow, would I have shot back?? THAT would have surprised the hotel guests about me. :glare:

And I always wake up with a pillow jammed under my butt or on the florr or whatever. I can't imagine waking up with a Magnum in the small of my back. :tongue_smilie:

 

I get keeping a gun in a thumbprint safe in your bedroom if you're scared but right under your HEAD? Loaded? How can a gun barrel 3 inches from your skull make you feel safer???

[MamaT]

If she won't move it YOU move it. This might help.........http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_you_unload_a_Dan_Wesson_357_Magnum_Revolver

 

:iagree:

[Hilltop]

Great PSA!

 

My neighbor is a retired police officer and he told me he taught his children that if they ever saw a gun out they should leave it, not touch it, immediately get him, and he would give them $20. He was very afraid that he might unintentionally leave a gun out and they would find it.

[Jennifer3141]

Great PSA!

 

My neighbor is a retired police officer and he told me he taught his children that if they ever saw a gun out they should leave it, not touch it, immediately get him, and he would give them $20. He was very afraid that he might unintentionally leave a gun out and they would find it.

 

That is genius!!! DH is a great gun locker but I'm going to implement this as well. My kids think a $20 is a fortune!!!

 

Tell your neighbor thanks next time you see him. :)

[AdventureMoms]

We're not an anti-gun household - I think DH has between 20 and 30 handguns and rifles (a new Glock is his Xmas present!) and I'm mostly ambivalent about them but how on earth do you sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow??

 

Don't people toss and turn and have weird dreams?

 

Geesh. Last night I dreamt my brother shot me for no reason. (Freud, anyone??) It was a really odd dream. If I had a gun under my pillow, would I have shot back?? THAT would have surprised the hotel guests about me. :glare:

And I always wake up with a pillow jammed under my butt or on the florr or whatever. I can't imagine waking up with a Magnum in the small of my back. :tongue_smilie:

 

I get keeping a gun in a thumbprint safe in your bedroom if you're scared but right under your HEAD? Loaded? How can a gun barrel 3 inches from your skull make you feel safer???

 

This!! I'm not generally afraid of guns, my dad has always had them (locked! and unloaded!) for hunting, and I have shot most of them and enjoyed it. I don't hunt but target shooting can be fun. However, there is no way having a loaded weapon IN MY BED let alone near my head would make me feel safer. Ack! I'd never ever sleep!

Edited December 22, 2011 by AdventureMoms

[AdventureMoms]

That is genius!!! DH is a great gun locker but I'm going to implement this as well. My kids think a $20 is a fortune!!!

 

Tell your neighbor thanks next time you see him. :)

 

I'm implementing this too when the kids are old enough to understand it! That's a great plan.

 

And if it ever happens, whomever left the gun out owes me WAY more than $20. Thankfully I've never known any of the gun owners in my life to be so irresponsible.

[aggieamy]

We're not an anti-gun household - I think DH has between 20 and 30 handguns and rifles (a new Glock is his Xmas present!) and I'm mostly ambivalent about them but how on earth do you sleep with a loaded gun under your pillow??

 

Don't people toss and turn and have weird dreams?

 

Geesh. Last night I dreamt my brother shot me for no reason. (Freud, anyone??) It was a really odd dream. If I had a gun under my pillow, would I have shot back?? THAT would have surprised the hotel guests about me. :glare:

And I always wake up with a pillow jammed under my butt or on the florr or whatever. I can't imagine waking up with a Magnum in the small of my back. :tongue_smilie:

 

I get keeping a gun in a thumbprint safe in your bedroom if you're scared but right under your HEAD? Loaded? How can a gun barrel 3 inches from your skull make you feel safer???

 

I'm in total agreement with this. DH is a gun enthusiast and I've grown up with guns. I'm completely comfortable with them. I would NEVER have one under my pillow. I just don't get that. I'd end up shooting DH when all I was trying to do was fluff my pillow.

 

Great PSA!

 

My neighbor is a retired police officer and he told me he taught his children that if they ever saw a gun out they should leave it, not touch it, immediately get him, and he would give them $20. He was very afraid that he might unintentionally leave a gun out and they would find it.

 

I'm going to tell Little Librarian this in the morning. A great suggestion. Thanks for sharing that.

[MariannNOVA]

No, unfortunately, that's not the case. She was talking about who would inherit my father's rifles, and then she said, "And that would just leave the .357. It's in there under my pillow." {insert smile here--I guess she thought I'd find that funny.}

 

My jaw fell open, and I said, "Under your pillow?!? Is it loaded? In a case? OMG, was it there at Thanksgiving???!"

 

She replied (still smiling), "Yes, it's loaded. No, no case. Yeah, it was there at Thanksgiving. I just didn't think about it, but the kids were back there, weren't they?"

 

At this point, I was so shocked that I didn't say anything. It was time for us to go anyway, and I just left. It's only been in the past day or so that I've really begun to realize what might have happened.

 

 

OMH!!!! I am sitting here with my mouth hanging open.

 

My mom is 77 years old. When she was 13, she and her older brother, 16 years old, Michael, were at my grandfather's place of business -- my grandfather had been rushed to the hospital earlier that day with chest pains. He kept a loaded gun on a shelf. Michael's girl friend saw the gun, picked it up, pointed it at Michael and said: 'Hey, is this loaded?' and she pulled the trigger. Michael was killed instantly - shot in the head.

 

Suffice to say, my mom has never forgotten this.

[aggieamy]

OMH!!!! I am sitting here with my mouth hanging open.

 

My mom is 77 years old. When she was 13, she and her older brother, 16 years old, Michael, were at my grandfather's place of business -- my grandfather had been rushed to the hospital earlier that day with chest pains. He kept a loaded gun on a shelf. Michael's girl friend saw the gun, picked it up, pointed it at Michael and said: 'Hey, is this loaded?' and she pulled the trigger. Michael was killed instantly - shot in the head.

 

Suffice to say, my mom has never forgotten this.

 

That's horrible. I bet the girlfriend hasn't either. I can't imagine having to live with something like that from the age of 16. So sorry your family went through that.

[MariannNOVA]

That's horrible. I bet the girlfriend hasn't either. I can't imagine having to live with something like that from the age of 16. So sorry your family went through that.

 

Thank you.

 

When I first learned of it (I was in third grade - my mom was telling the story when Pres. Kennedy was assasinated [you probably weren't even born yet, right?] I asked my mom what had become of the girl - owing to the fact that my mom herself was so young, my mom didn't know. My aunt (who was 19 when this happened) didn't know either. When I told the story to my kids, they all wanted to know what happened to the girl -- not from a law point of view, but from a personal perspective. I agree with you, though, it had to color the rest of her life.

[Myeightkiddies]

If you travel to relatives' homes for the holidays, PLEASE think to ask about firearms, and where or how they are stored. Even if you think you know, ask again.

 

Good advice. It doesn't hurt to ask about it to be sure. Some people aren't use to having children around their home so they may need to take extra precautions.