Thinking about putting son into HS...so torn!!!

[Karie]

My son is in 7th and we are looking into his future. He wants to attend high school. We have an IB program at a school nearby that he is considering as well as another high school. He's asked to attend the local middle school for 2 classes a day next year to get used to PS (he's always been home schooled). I'm so torn!!!!

 

He's very intelligent and already has a plan for his future. I don't feel I can provide him with what he needs academically, either.

 

I know many of you have gone through this before. I'm just venting, I suppose. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[jennsmile]

In a few years could he start some college classes online or at the community college?

[Chris in VA]

First, why did you keep him out of school in the first place? If not for academic reasons, do your reasons outweigh the need for greater academic help? Can you find the academics elsewhere and still have everything you wanted in homeschool? Some out of the box thinking might be in order. What is around you that would give you academics but NOT be public school?

 

I always seek a third alternative (or more). Rarely are choices just between two things. :001_smile:

 

OTOH, Ps could be the right thing.

[JVA]

BTDT.

 

Yes, examine the reasons.

 

Also, do a little reading on the IB program. It's quite socialist-leaning...one world order, global citizenship, anti-democracy orientation. Just be careful and do some research.

[G5052]

We're committed homeschoolers, but that has gotten us through areas I was unable to keep up with and provides some of the social interaction mine want.

[Karie]

I was not aware of that about the IB program, but I guess I'm not surprised. I'll do some research on that. I guess I'm afraid that I can't provide the skills needed for college.

 

Honestly, I see many of the kids who've graduated home school HS, and they don't go to college. Academics doesn't come first for them-all they talk about is character. I'm all for character, don't get me wrong, but I'm also teaching my sons that they have to provide for their families so an education is needed. There are a few who get by without a college education and can support their families so their wives don't have to work, but in general, they need higher education for that purpose. We are of the belief as a family that the wife stays home and raises the kids if at all possible....and we want our boys to take the financial reigns of their families.

[MIch elle]

We homeschooled older ds for K-8. He wanted to go to high school so we let him go. He is glad that he homeschooled and is equally glad he attends high school. He's now a high school senior.

 

Younger ds homeschooled K-7. We let him go to school for gr 8. He's now in gr. 9 and is thriving in school.

 

I'm SO glad I did NOT try to homeschool high school. The burden has been llfted off my shoulders; I'm now a mother and helper to my boys. I LOVED homeschooling them but it was time to let them go.

 

Don't be afraid! Find out if high school is for YOUR dc. If it doesn't work out, you can always bring him home again.

 

May you find peace in your journey!! :D

[Teachin'Mine]

Middle school generally isn't a place of awesome academics, but the "socialization" can be very negative at that age especially. If the only reason you're considering that route is for academics, then maybe you could post a question on the high school board asking what the options are for homeschooling high school. I think you'd be amazed at what's available. :) You don't have to personally teach each subject, or any for that matter. There's distance learning, online classes, self-study, community college, etc.. If you want to homeschool, the high school years are challenging, but so worth it IMO. In speaking with IB students, they eat, breath and sleep their schoolwork. :tongue_smilie: Just a heads up on what I've heard from some students - your school may be different. IMO he can get the same rigorous education through homeschooling and outsourcing and still have time for other pursuits in life.

[Laura Corin]

BTDT.

 

Yes, examine the reasons.

 

Also, do a little reading on the IB program. It's quite socialist-leaning...one world order, global citizenship, anti-democracy orientation. Just be careful and do some research.

 

The IB was founded in Europe in response to the Second World War. I would describe its ethos as anti-nationalistic, dedicated to producing children who question received wisdom. It may not fit a particular family's world view.

 

My eldest started school at high-school age (in US terms). It has been an overwhelmingly positive move for him. Younger son started earlier; it has still been the right thing for him, but the transition has been more rocky socially. I don't know to what extent this is because he is younger or whether it is a personality difference.

 

Laura

Edited December 12, 2011 by Laura Corin

[Karie]

Did just a little reading on IBO....had no idea what it was all about. So thankful for this board for the heads up on that one!

[*********]

Honestly, I see many of the kids who've graduated home school HS, and they don't go to college. Academics doesn't come first for them-all they talk about is character. I'm all for character, don't get me wrong, but I'm also teaching my sons that they have to provide for their families so an education is needed. There are a few who get by without a college education and can support their families so their wives don't have to work, but in general, they need higher education for that purpose. We are of the belief as a family that the wife stays home and raises the kids if at all possible....and we want our boys to take the financial reigns of their families.

 

Karie, this is exactly how dh and I feel too. But he and I were just talking the other day about how we shouldn't discount the boys going into a trade instead of college. The whole conversation started when Moose said that he wanted to 'work on power lines' when he grew up. :) Learning a trade, like plumbing or electrical work for example, at an accredited program, is a fine alternative to college IMO, and the boys will still be able to make a decent enough living to support a family if they choose to have one.

 

As far as if you should let your ds go to ps or not, that's a very personal decision. I'm thinking that at age 12, dh and I would still not be comfortable with letting our boys make that decision for themselves. Our compromise would probably be that our local CC allows homeschoolers to begin taking classes at 14. You could look into that, and see if there's some very beginning classes he could take there. Just an idea.

[Wabi Sabi]

You don't have to make any decision right now, do you? If not, I'd just keep all of my options open and see how you feel about it in a year or two when it's time to actually decide if you want to enroll him.

[Upward Journey]

HS'd oldest all the way through. #2 wanted to attend PS this year for 9th grade. She is thriving. I'm so glad that we let her go.

[choirfarm]

I completely understand where you are coming from. My two oldest are 9th and 11th. I have/had some of the same worries. However, my two didn't WANT to go to high school. (9th grader surprised me. I was sure a few years ago that he would want to go.) First of all, take his opinions SERIOUSLY. Ask him why he want to go. How does he think that will help him? Has he considered all of the busywork and lack of flexibility. The 9th grader didn't want all of the foolishness.

 

Here is what I have done and why we kept them home ( besides the fact that they wanted to). I can adjust the schedule to them. My oldest is a math/science guy. So he did Biology in 8th ( hated it) Chem in 9th Physics in 10th and is currently doing AP Chem through PA Homeschoolers. He will probably do AP Physics that way next year. He did AP STats as a 10th grader ( no schools around here even offer it much less to a 10th grader) through AP homeschoolers. ( He got an A in the class and a 5 on the exam.) I just couldn't teach Spanish, so both boys started Spanish at the local cc. They are both taking APgov.

 

My middle one loves literature and history, so we can spend more time on that. He will take math at the cc, since that will not be his field. Oldest will take online Calc because it will be harder and more similar to college. ( CC just isn't hard enough. I would hate for him to take Calc there and then be lost at his real college.)

 

Just a few thoughts.

[kathymuggle]

my quick story:

 

My daughter wanted to go in grade 7 (middle school here) and DS wanted to go in 10 (high school).

 

I wish DD had not felt the need to go in grade 7 - or that I had just said "no". The socialising at middle school is not pleasant (sort of Lord of the Flies meets Barbie Girl :rant:) and academically blah. The high school has been Ok both socially and academically.

 

How about doing an online course for now with an eye to enrolling him in HS when he is of age? My son did some online classes and it gave him a good feel for time management, understanding what teachers want, etc.

[Karie]

First off, I need to be clear that we won't let our 12 year old make the decision to go to high school. He doesn't have that much power in our home! Ha! But, we want his input. Mom, Dad, and son all work together in this.

 

My son loves business/economics. He will need to go to a 4 year college. He's not a trade guy. My youngest son has wanted to be a missionary for 4 years and that's all he talks about...his path for higher education will be different than my oldest son. I realize I have to adjust for each child-they are all different.

 

I did a little research on IBO this morning, and I can say that we've crossed that off our list. It doesn't fit into our world view at ALL!!

[DawnM]

Do you have any charter or magnet schools that might be better fits for your son?

 

Our charter schools are good academically and I have heard they are good socially (lots of parent involvement), the thing the charters her do not offer is a heavy sports program for high school. That doesn't concern us too much, but it might you.

 

Magnet programs here also offer heavier parent involvement as the parents have to make an effort to get the kids there. We even have a magnet program here called Early College, where the kids get their high school AND first two years of college before graduation.....and the first two years of college are free!!!!!!

 

Dawn

[PiCO]

I did a little research on IBO this morning, and I can say that we've crossed that off our list. It doesn't fit into our world view at ALL!!

 

Remember that every school is different, and every teacher WILL make their world views known in high school. IB is exaggerated in this area, because the teachers have to be trained by the IB governing body- but I have found that at least 75% of the teachers in my conservative town are pretty liberal. I do a lot of discussion at home about my world views, and why I hold them, to counter act this.

 

Just want you to be aware that it's not just the IBO that holds these strong opinions, it's the education establishment as well.

[SailorMom]

My older DS decided in 7th he wanted to go back for high school. We started working with the middle school that year, having him take the FCAT, and talking to the guidance counselor.

He went back in 8th to have an easier transition, and it worked out very well.

He's now a Freshman, and having a great time.

I still feel that I could have provided a more tailor made curriculum, and possibly a more rigorous one, but he's in honors classes, taking Spanish, played football, and doing JRROTC, and really enjoying himself.

I honestly don't think our relationship would have been as good as it is right now if he had stayed home.

My younger DS, btw, has so far decided to home-school all the way through to college.

I do think that the parent's know best - but I also think that at the age of 13 or so, they should have some say in their lives if there is a decent alternative (we live in a good school district).

[angela in ohio]

I was not aware of that about the IB program, but I guess I'm not surprised. I'll do some research on that. I guess I'm afraid that I can't provide the skills needed for college.

 

Honestly, I see many of the kids who've graduated home school HS, and they don't go to college. Academics doesn't come first for them-all they talk about is character. I'm all for character, don't get me wrong, but I'm also teaching my sons that they have to provide for their families so an education is needed. There are a few who get by without a college education and can support their families so their wives don't have to work, but in general, they need higher education for that purpose. We are of the belief as a family that the wife stays home and raises the kids if at all possible....and we want our boys to take the financial reigns of their families.

 

We also decided against IB. Middle dd is going to high school next year, and there were two schools we liked, but one is moving to all IB and the other is staying focused on AP and dual enrollment.

 

I'm with you on the second paragraph, and we see the same thing. Didn't you know you can't teach both? :lol: As one of my favorite homeschool speakers says, "Ignorance may be bliss, but it isn't a virtue." ;) I've had this conversation so many times, and I still wonder how the world would look without Christian lawyers, doctors, scientists, etc. :001_huh:

 

I wouldn't let that determine whether you keep him home or not, though. You can homeschool academically and right into college at home. There are many women here on the High School board who are doing so (have done so) successfully. My oldest is staying home and doing so, too. That said, we are planning to send ds to school, so I know what you are saying. It's tough.

[Wabi Sabi]

I did a little research on IBO this morning, and I can say that we've crossed that off our list. It doesn't fit into our world view at ALL!!

 

Just out of curiosity- what doesn't fit into your worldview? What's to disagree with?

 

Maybe I don't quite understand the IB program, but I thought it was just a diploma with international recognition that is generally regarded as more rigorous than the traditional US high school diploma. Am I wrong?

[ma23peas]

I am homeschooling high school and expect my children to attend a university...am not opposed if they choose not to, but I set them up for success in any path.

First, I pray...God ultimately is in control and He has provided most if not all the opportunities we have found...so far, they all promote higher education and our kids homeschooling peers are the like minded.

Here are some of the opportunities our kids have participated in, some may be in your area.

B.E.S.T. Robotics tournaments

Lego robotics

Science Olympiad

Speech & Debate classes/tournaments

Rowing many scolarships open to girls especially

Scouting

Local science labs etc.

Honors writing courses at co-op

FEE economic seminars (free summer course on scholarship)

Volunteer opportunities ( food pantries, etc. amazing how serving others motivates one to excel so they can help in more ways)

Spelling Bee

Math competitions

Early college through many universities (U of Alabama has one starting their sophomore year..all done at home)

Studying a foreign language

Overseas travel...we toured the Mediterannean for less than a trip to Disneyworld...expose them to more, they find more they want to explore..

 

In my book you get what you put in...the challenge of homeschooling high school is to seek opportunities we can not cover at home as well...

[G5052]

Dual enrollment is not always the best choice either. I know that locally people are doing that more and more, but I teach at the community college and I've seen some disasters frankly. People tend to talk about how wonderful it is, and not about those who fail classes that go on their record permanently or aren't ready for the peer relationships and adult content.

 

I currently have four homeschooled kids in one section. Two are among my best students and will likely get an "A." Two will end up with a "D" or "F" in a class that is highly structured and skill-oriented -- it is not a hard class, and is one that most high school students should pass easily. One is perpetually leaving class early to go play online games in the student center, and one is just plain unmotivated and has only turned in maybe 1/4 of the homework.

 

We're headed for a mixture of online and a few selected community college classes, but only in a few subjects and I'll be monitoring their grades as long as they're in high school. ;)

[TranquilMind]

The IB was founded in Europe in response to the Second World War. I would describe its ethos as anti-nationalistic, dedicated to producing children who question received wisdom. It may not fit a particular family's world view.

 

My eldest started school at high-school age (in US terms). It has been an overwhelmingly positive move for him. Younger son started earlier; it has still been the right thing for him, but the transition has been more rocky socially. I don't know to what extent this is because he is younger or whether it is a personality difference.

 

Laura

Agree with what everyone is saying about middle school. I would not send a child to middle school, personally. I homeschooled until oldest insisted on high school. There was a newish classical school that taught Latin through the AP level, so she began as a Freshman. They put her in Latin III immediately, and she is now the top student in AP Latin. I guess the homeschool class she took once a week at co-op by a dedicated Mom did the trick! I have no idea what they will do with her next year, as they require Latin all 4 years. I kind of wish they challenged students like her more. All teachers told us they would try, but they have to teach to the masses, and she's at the top of the class, so spends some time being bored, which I dislike. We are actually considering sending her to an International School with an IB program so she can use the other languages she knows to a degree (Spanish and French) but it's 17K a year!

 

She is confident and knows who she is and we've had little peer pressure. Some, but she quickly realizes how stupid being pressured is, so that is a plus of becoming your own person while you are homeschooled and avoiding all the high-conformity years. It is a plus that this school is artsy and draws a lot of "different" kids. So they all accept each other and differences as normal, unlike some very homogenous high schools, I hear.

 

My younger child is in a 2 day a week academic co-op and it suits him. We also told him he could go to high school if he wants, but he thinks he might stay with homeschooling and this co-op, so that he is free for more hockey trips while still getting sleep sometime, unlike a lot of his teammates!

 

So there are just some of my thoughts from the vantage point of the Mom of a high school and a middle school child.

[sassenach]

We sent dd to school in 8th.

Pros-

- It was academically/organizational beneficial. She said it was easier in some ways than hsing, harder in others.

- She learned the classroom culture (bit of a learning curve)

- She had to really put her Faith into action. She has a real gift of evangelism that really shined.

- She made a couple of quality friends.

- Our relationship benefitted greatly.

- She had several good teachers. One who went above and beyond.

 

Cons-

- We had to deal with every ugly ps thing you could think of: one crappy teacher who was later fired, classmate suicide, girl drama, one bully (this was a girl that dd knew before going to school), exposure to sexual innuendo via the boys, ect.

- Liberal leaning teaching, which wasn't exactly a con, because it opened up a lot of great conversations.

- Less ownership over our schedule.

 

At the end of her year in ps, she had the choice between the big public hs or a teeny tiny Christian hs. She chose the private school. She had discovered a lot about school, herself, and how she learns. She made the choice knowing the good and bad of each possibility. She is THRIVING. She says that her school is the perfect combo of hsing and ps.

 

I dont particularly want to hs high school. I will if it seems best, but to me, this is the age to start loosening the grip. The approach of prayerfully making decisions as we get to them each year has really worked out for us.

 

Best wishes to you!

[gardenmom5]

disclaimer:

1dd & 2dd are both IBdips, so I will be biased;).

 

A well run IB program is a fantastic oppotunity, and I think a great way for a child to be educated - among other things, it teaches them to think and look at both sides of an issue. (my girls are both religious and very strong). something most public (and private) school experiences don't do. (even 1dd's mandatory college class that was "supposed" to teach her how to think, was about indoctrination. she was constantly asking the prof questions that actually opened up how to "think" to her fellow students. yes the prof was mad - because 1dd didn't want her to be her mentor.)

 

it does take foresight to do the program as you must have had a certain level of math (plan for calculus by senior year), number of years of foreign language, started your lab sciences before starting IB (we were off - 1dd ended up taking chem 101 at the CC as a sophomore to get back on track for IB HL chem the next year. she basically had 2 1/2 years of chem.), etc. Some of the orginal research projects some of the kids in the program did were incredible. full dips are generally very self-motivated learners and it's a great group to hang with. the fulldip program takes student committment.

 

It was a key reason both girls were admitted to the top tier university they attended. (most of the incoming freshman over the years from here that go to that school were all graduates of top level private "prep" schools. public school students are the anomalies, and they've been usually been IBdips.)

Edited December 12, 2011 by gardenmom5

[bettyandbob]

I'm just really confused by the worldview statements about IB. It's been my experience that if you would have a problem with the worldview presented in an IB school, you would have a problem with the worldview in any secular environment. And I would be concerned about dual enrolling in community college classes if that were the case.

 

My oldest is a senior in an IB program. His writing skills improved dramatically his first year. I suspect he lucked out with a truly gifted teacher. All of his classes make think about the material not just learn facts. He and his classmates have compared notes with students at nearby schools that offer only AP classes and they've found their work goes much further in depth than what peers are encountering in AP.

 

I don't feel any instruction he's gotten has an obviously liberal or conservative bent. IB requires students to digest information, make arguments and back them up. When you learn to do this well, you can do it either in a conservative or liberal fashion. I could only see this as an issue in English and History classes.

 

My ds had a really cool physics lab this fall that got the class measuring currents and other things in local streams. That data was added to data taken by IB chem students and IB bio students, to start putting together some solutions on stream health and rain water runoff in general in our town. I suppose this could viewed as liberal environmentalist work. However, IB tries to get the students to take their knowledge into the "real" world. It's a level beyond textbook thinking. In language classes the students don't just study the literature of France. They know the current events in french speaking countries and know enough about these event to have real conversations--ds knows a lot of about french speaking Africa. Not that we know he will need to know about French speaking Africa, but the important thing is he is able to appropriately apply his skill with the language, not just spit back text book information.

 

Obviously I'm a supporter of IB. I don't recommend IB for someone who does not already have strong basic skills in most if not all subjects. I also recommend persons have a good general knowledge base before attempting--course work is rapid and it would be difficult to get through material if you were completely new to physics or ancient history. If you do WTM this isn't a problem. And a student must have excellent organizational skills or be willing to work with a parent or tutor on staying organized.

 

I know there are schools that have a ridiculously socialist viewpoint. I haven't seen that in IB though.

 

On the other hand, my brother sent my niece to a private high school and was horrified when she came home talking about all the great things Fidel Castro did and she didn't know anything else about him. She couldn't understand why anyone would want to defect.