Brilliant Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 For Thanksgiving dinner, we will have the following people: My family of 4, another family of 4 (close friends), my parents & my sis. Our friends have met my parents briefly once...they've never met my sis. I have two things I'm trying to work out: 1. Of the 7 adults - 2 don't drink. One definitely doesn't mind if others drink (in moderation), the other says they don't mind but...I don't know. I would like to serve wine with dinner for the 5 of us who'd like it. Since the other 2 say it's OK, would you go ahead & serve it? 2. Where would you seat the 11 people? We have a dining room table that comfortably seats 6, and a kitchen table that comfortably seats 6. The rooms are not adjacent, so if we split up, there would be NO interaction between the groups. I also wouldn't know how to split them up - it would sort of defeat the purpose of having everyone for Thanksgiving dinner if we send our friends to the kitchen, KWIM? I also have a large craft table, so what I've thought is that I can put it in the dining room. I have a tablecloth that could cover it, which matches the one I'll put on the dining room table. So it won't look super-attractive, but it won't look horrible either. This way we'd be at separate tables but right next to each other. Does that sound like a better plan? (I'm asking b/c *I* think it is, but my dh thinks a folding table, even covered with a nice cloth, will look tacky. I think it would be tackier to have guests eat apart from their hosts. And these are our friends & family - we are not trying to impress them, we're trying to have a great holiday with them!) I'd appreciate your thoughts on either of these. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Serve the wine. It is your house and the people attending who don't drink said they don't mind. If the extra table fits, put it in the dining room. I think having everyone in the same room feels more festive. Otherwise, put the adults in the dining room and the kids in the kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :iagree: Also maybe get sparkling apple cider for those who don't drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Serve the wine. It is your house and the people attending who don't drink said they don't mind. If the extra table fits, put it in the dining room. I think having everyone in the same room feels more festive. Otherwise, put the adults in the dining room and the kids in the kitchen. :iagree: Have wine. Seat everyone in the same room. And relax and have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen3kids Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 We go to friends for Thanksgiving Dinner and we all don't fit in one room, so.... we draw names in 2 piles - one for the kitchen table with 8 or so people, and one for the dining room 10 people. That is where we sit for dinner. Then, we draw again for dessert seating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 For Thanksgiving dinner, we will have the following people: My family of 4, another family of 4 (close friends), my parents & my sis. Our friends have met my parents briefly once...they've never met my sis. I have two things I'm trying to work out: 1. Of the 7 adults - 2 don't drink. One definitely doesn't mind if others drink (in moderation), the other says they don't mind but...I don't know. I would like to serve wine with dinner for the 5 of us who'd like it. Since the other 2 say it's OK, would you go ahead & serve it? 2. Where would you seat the 11 people? We have a dining room table that comfortably seats 6, and a kitchen table that comfortably seats 6. The rooms are not adjacent, so if we split up, there would be NO interaction between the groups. I also wouldn't know how to split them up - it would sort of defeat the purpose of having everyone for Thanksgiving dinner if we send our friends to the kitchen, KWIM? I also have a large craft table, so what I've thought is that I can put it in the dining room. I have a tablecloth that could cover it, which matches the one I'll put on the dining room table. So it won't look super-attractive, but it won't look horrible either. This way we'd be at separate tables but right next to each other. Does that sound like a better plan? (I'm asking b/c *I* think it is, but my dh thinks a folding table, even covered with a nice cloth, will look tacky. I think it would be tackier to have guests eat apart from their hosts. And these are our friends & family - we are not trying to impress them, we're trying to have a great holiday with them!) I'd appreciate your thoughts on either of these. 1. Yes. You might also include some sparkling juice for the kids and non-drinkers. 2. I'd go with the 2 tables close by. We've done that several times and usually put the kids at one table and adults at the other table. (Our spare table is actually a small camping picnic table. A nice cloth on it will spruce it up. Not ideal, I suppose, but MORE ideal than having people in separate rooms. :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 For Thanksgiving dinner, we will have the following people: My family of 4, another family of 4 (close friends), my parents & my sis. Our friends have met my parents briefly once...they've never met my sis. I have two things I'm trying to work out: 1. Of the 7 adults - 2 don't drink. One definitely doesn't mind if others drink (in moderation), the other says they don't mind but...I don't know. I would like to serve wine with dinner for the 5 of us who'd like it. Since the other 2 say it's OK, would you go ahead & serve it? Yes. Serve the wine. 2. Where would you seat the 11 people? We have a dining room table that comfortably seats 6, and a kitchen table that comfortably seats 6. The rooms are not adjacent, so if we split up, there would be NO interaction between the groups. I also wouldn't know how to split them up - it would sort of defeat the purpose of having everyone for Thanksgiving dinner if we send our friends to the kitchen, KWIM? I also have a large craft table, so what I've thought is that I can put it in the dining room. I have a tablecloth that could cover it, which matches the one I'll put on the dining room table. So it won't look super-attractive, but it won't look horrible either. This way we'd be at separate tables but right next to each other. Does that sound like a better plan? (I'm asking b/c *I* think it is, but my dh thinks a folding table, even covered with a nice cloth, will look tacky. I think it would be tackier to have guests eat apart from their hosts. And these are our friends & family - we are not trying to impress them, we're trying to have a great holiday with them!) I can tell you what Miss Manners might suggest: You are the hostess at one table, your dh is the host at the other; put your parents with your dh, your sister with you; figure out which tables to put the others. It's ok that you are all not at one table. Surely there will be some time before and after the actual meal when you will be, yes? Having two tables with you and your dh hosting makes for more intimate conversations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parker Martin Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 (1) Serve the wine. DH and I don't drink, but wine is always served at family functions. (2) I'd put everyone together in the same room. The camaraderie is more important than the look of the table. Plus, people often expect to sit in creative seating arrangements at big holiday meals. No one expects everyone to have one giant table that's used three times a year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 We've put extra tables in our living room or kitchen for a holiday meal and it worked nicely. I like having everyone together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Serve the wine... it's not likely your suggesting a "get drunk" type of thing. Sitting together is nice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 (edited) I will preface this with - I do not drink for religious reasons. Your house, your standards. as long as no one gets drunk (and loud and obnoixious - they can make things very unpleasent for those wo are sober and sensitive to noise. a very exspensive restaurant celebration dinner was dampend by one particularly vile group at an adjacent table), I don't see a problem. I do not see a problem with a glass of wine for those who drink. You might want to offer martenelli's or similar for the non-drinkers. even the kids can drink that. (i personally don't like apple juice, but some people do.) we've done huge groups - dh bought two sheet's of plywood and put them together end-to-end with washers to level seams to have a 16' table. covered with table padding available from fabric stores and a table cloth, people really don't notice, or care. (I have my great-aunts very formal dining room set that comfortably seats 8 - squeeze 10 - if that gives any perspective) if there is any way to squeeze one more adult at your dining room table, I'd do that. then the kids can be either in the kitchen, or your "other" table in the dining room where people can keep an eye on them. If you MUST split adults up - the recomendations I've see are you and your dh each sit at different tables, and split everyone else up too. some of each family at each table. you are both "hosting", and no one feels excluded. also, better dishes in the kitchen, and your everyday dishes in the dining room. helps to even things out so to speak so people don't end up feeling slighted. Edited November 17, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Serve the wine. I would either put everyone in one room or squeeze 7 adults in the dining room and put the kids in the kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelissaMinNC Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Yes. Serve the wine. I can tell you what Miss Manners might suggest: You are the hostess at one table, your dh is the host at the other; put your parents with your dh, your sister with you; figure out which tables to put the others. It's ok that you are all not at one table. Surely there will be some time before and after the actual meal when you will be, yes? Having two tables with you and your dh hosting makes for more intimate conversations. :iagree: A couple of Christmases ago we had Christmas dinner at dh's aunt's - probably 25 people or so. Aunt had decided she wanted everyone to eat in the same room so we could all be close to each other - it took a lot of configuring of extra seating in her formal living room (dining room not big enough) to make it work, but we did squeeze everybody in. It was great in theory, but really it was so hard to have a conversation with all those people in the room - we still didn't get to socialize at all with the people at the opposite end of the room from us, but there was so much noise that it was hard to enjoy the conversation with the people we were seated close to. I'd split everybody up but make sure you get to spend time with people you're not eating with before/after the meal. Or shuffle people around for dessert maybe. (But, I don't think there would be anything aesthetically wrong with using a folding table, so I don't agree with your husband either. :tongue_smilie: Your friends and family won't notice or care!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 OK. I will serve wine. None of us gets drunk! It would be 1 or at most 2 glasses for everyone, I expect. I'm talking 2 bottles for 5 people. And I had definitely planned on serving Martinelli's so everyone can feel festive. Still on the fence about the tables. I think I still prefer all in one room - it wouldn't be too noisy or crowded as some have mentioned, because it's only 11 of us, and we'd just have to push a couple of living room chairs out of the way to make both tables commodious. But you've given some great ideas if we do split up - I hadn't thought about splitting up nuclear families. We could even do a girls table & boys table - that might be fun. And it would only be for the actual dinner time. We'll do dessert a little later and can all sit in the living room/dining room. Thanks for the input. I feel better about the possibility of losing the argument w/ dh :D - at least we have some alternatives for seating to discuss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Serve the wine, unless a loved one is in a very fragile stage of recovery/rehab. Some will drink it, some will not; it's not a big deal. Even people who drink don't *always* drink, if they're not in the mood or can't spare the calories or are preggers or whatever. My dad once built a tabletop designed to sit on top of his regular dining room table, so that we could have 17 people all sitting together. I'd go with sitting together every time. It's just furniture. People are more important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chocolate Rose Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 1. Serve the wine. I'm sure you are planning other beverages and those who don't want wine can drink something else. 2. When we have too many people to sit at the dining room table (Thanksgiving, Christmas, birthdays, etc.) we add a card table or two at the end of the dining room table. We don't worry about matching table cloths. We just use whatever kind of goes together. It's so much nicer if everyone can sit together, even if it's really crowded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 But you've given some great ideas if we do split up - I hadn't thought about splitting up nuclear families. We could even do a girls table & boys table - that might be fun. And it would only be for the actual dinner time. We'll do dessert a little later and can all sit in the living room/dining room. Miss Manners says the reason you split up couples is that they both tell the same stories but they tell them differently. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 How nice is your kitchen table? Can you put it in your dining room and put the card table in the kitchen just for the day? When I have two tables worth of guests, I bring my kitchen table into the dining room and butt it up against the DR table. Neither is a circle, so I end up with one long table that extends into the LR. I PROMISE you that people would rather eat together no matter what your tables look like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 How is the food to be served? We always eat buffet style so everyone grabs a plate and finds a place to place their butt. People who want to mix do, and people who don't want to don't. As a mom of a few littles, I prefer to be seated where I don't have to worry about spilled drinks and food or about the littles grabbing plates, serving dishes, what-have-you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I've done that exact thing with the craft table and the dining room table with matching table cloths. Really, it's all good. Just do it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 How nice is your kitchen table? Can you put it in your dining room and put the card table in the kitchen just for the day? The kitchen table is nice - that might be the best idea yet! I don't think I'd even sub the craft table into the kitchen - that way I won't have to clean my craft room this weekend. :D We're having a total of ten for dinner. Our dining room table seats six. I think we have one more leaf to add to the table; in any event, we'll squash everyone together at the table. We've done that before with up to 9 people (and 5 of them were small). I can't do it with 11 adult-sized people. We'd be on each other's laps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted November 25, 2011 Author Share Posted November 25, 2011 can't get pic to post :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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