WWYD, co-op teacher used the "F" word to my daugther

[Kathleen in VA]

Yes, you can decide, as long as you control the situation. In this case, the OP chose to enroll her child in a co-op. That infers that the mom is not going to be able to control everything. Welcome to reality.

 

The only way to maintain the sheltering you describe is to keep a child at home and carefully vet everyone who comes into contact with said child.

 

Yes, this is true. You will have to deal with other people's mistakes when you enroll your child in a co-op. The teacher might have made an academic error and I would have felt compelled to correct that as well. When someone is wrong about anything - especially when it concerns my child - they ought to be told and when it is as offensive as what the OP described they need to apologize.

[unsinkable]

Ria,

 

I'm not sure it's possible to truly know the teacher's intent. That's where I take issue. Her remark, imo, sounded like she was annoyed or irritated. What I suppose (and others are free to suppose what they want) is that she didn't want to hear the phrase because in her own mind she kept filling in the blank with the f word and it caused her to be irritated. To say "don't do that around me" just sounds like she was thinking of herself - not necessarily wanting to keep this young girl from embarrassment at a later date. I propose that her intent was selfish and therefore rude and uncalled for. It's absolutely ridiculous that she actually used the offensive word in order to instruct the child not to use it. Absolutely insane (again, imo).

 

I also disagree that eleven years old is old enough to hear the word. Neither my 15 yo or my 11yo has ever heard that word. We live in a much different world that you and many others on this board do. Of course, my 18yo, 23yo and 24yo have heard it and they know its meaning and they know what WTF means when they see it on message boards, etc. I wish they didn't, but as you know, there comes a time when they must become aware, like or not. I choose to delay that time as long as possible. I'm the mom and I have that authority.

 

This teacher definitely overstepped her bounds - authority or not. She did not do it kindly either. She was wrong and she should be told she was wrong and she ought to apologize.

 

So when did the 18 yo first hear it? On her birthday?

 

"You're an adult now! F--k is a dirty word people say outside of our much different world. It means sex."

 

:D

[Ria]

So when did the 18 yo first hear it? On her birthday?

 

"You're an adult now! F--k is a dirty word people say outside of our much different world. It means sex."

 

:D

 

Snort!! :lol::lol::lol:

[Kathleen in VA]

So when did the 18 yo first hear it? On her birthday?

 

"You're an adult now! F--k is a dirty word people say outside of our much different world. It means sex."

 

:D

 

yes, I make a point of explaining this word on each child's 18th birthday.:tongue_smilie:

[AngelBee]

If it makes you feel any better (:tongue_smilie: are you even still here?) I asked my homeschooled teenaged DD -- who is exposed to swearing -- this question:

 

"If you heard a homeschooled 11 yo girl say, "What the --?" what would you (my DD) think the 11 yo meant?"

 

My DD's answer was "What the heck?" or "What in the world?"

 

Then I asked her if she heard the phrase in general, out in public, anywhere, what she thought the speaker meant. Her answer was -- in order -- What the f---? What the h---? and (this one kills me) What the sh--?

 

My DD knew nothing about this thread. This was just her gut reaction based on my questions.

 

I asked my ds19 and ds11 anf they both said fword or heck/hell.

 

I always say "What in the cotton pickin!" :001_huh: So clearly, I am not good at guessing what others may be saying. :D

 

I also say "Oh....for Pete's Potatoes!" :tongue_smilie: Been hanging in Grammarslums often lately! :lol:

[texasmama]

Yes, you can decide, as long as you control the situation. In this case, the OP chose to enroll her child in a co-op. That infers that the mom is not going to be able to control everything. Welcome to reality.

 

The only way to maintain the sheltering you describe is to keep a child at home and carefully vet everyone who comes into contact with said child.

 

I've lived in reality a long time, but thanks for the welcome nonetheless.;)

 

Oddly, my children have been enrolled in co op classes, sports teams, church classes and, before I began homeschooling, private school. My oldest dd has attended private school since she was in kindergarten and not a single teacher, coach, etc. has ever used the F word with them.

 

Your continued assertion to keep kids at home if we want to protect them is inappropriate. Allowing someone the authority to teach a science class, for instance, does not allow a teacher free reign over my child. The private school which my oldest dd attends requires parental permission to use corporal punishment on children (which I don't give). My rights as a parent don't end when I allow someone else to teach or interact with my kids.

 

The OP allowed her dd to be taught and supervised by someone else. That adult used poor judgment and exposed the OP's dd to a word that the OP didn't want her dd to be exposed to. That crossed a boundary. The OP has every right to address it if she chooses. She may choose not to address it. Her choice. Can parents control every variable? No, they can't. But they have the option to address inappropriate actions.

[unsinkable]

yes, I make a point of explaining this word on each child's 18th birthday.:tongue_smilie:

 

Just get a draft registration thingy and voter registration card and they're all set.

 

With candles. :001_smile:

[texasmama]

Just get a draft registration thingy and voter registration card and they're all set.

 

With candles. :001_smile:

 

:lol:

[AngelBee]

So when did the 18 yo first hear it? On her birthday?

 

"You're an adult now! F--k is a dirty word people say outside of our much different world. It means sex."

 

:D

:lol:

[AngelBee]

yes, I make a point of explaining this word on each child's 18th birthday.:tongue_smilie:

 

:lol:

[AngelBee]

I also say "What in the hay bucket." :)

[Kathleen in VA]

Just get a draft registration thingy and voter registration card and they're all set.

 

With candles. :001_smile:

 

Do girls have to sign up for the draft? I missed that.

 

Anyway, really to answer your question (even though it was followed by one of those big teethy grins so perhaps you don't really want an answer), I don't really know when they learned the word.

 

I usually find out through some casual conversation where the word comes up while we're walking through Wal-mart or hear it blaring from someone's car or some such thing. I just find out. I guess in that sense, either one of my two youngest may have actually heard the word, but I'm pretty sure they haven't because I'm usually with them when they're out and about. The other three - well, the boys especially have been in the work world and they've pretty much heard it all. Dd18 probably got it explained gently to her by one of her older brothers at some point - they often are out with friends after church at Burger King or whereever so could easily hear it when I'm not there to notice. Any one of them may have actually heard it before they were 18 (I'm pretty sure the boys did) - but I was only referring to my 12yo and 15yo when I said they hadn't heard it yet.

 

The short answer - it varies. The point is, as long as I have any say about it, I will delay their exposure to that word and any other foul thing not necessary to their living their daily lives until it becomes needful to do so (or I don't happen to be around at the time).

[simka2]

I just do not think the teacher should have been in that position in the first place. "If" this is a conservative co-op then the parent should have already explained why it was not appropriate for her child to speak that way. The parent let the child say something that holds many different meanings for many different people. Many of those meanings are offensive. The child was set up.

 

It is a little bit like "blame shifting." If I set my child up, I am to blame for it. (and like I previously stated I have done this and I was devestated for dd, but I wouldn't blame someone else)

 

If this was a secualr co-op than we have an entirely different dynamic. In that case it is a given that some wil interpret WTF as What the F*ck. In that case, I think the child was really set up. Once by not already being informed...and then by being educated on it. In a secualr co-op I cannot see a teacher thinking twice about WTF, so I wonder why she would bother. ;)

[unsinkable]

Do girls have to sign up for the draft? I missed that.

 

Anyway, really to answer your question (even though it was followed by one of those big teethy grins so perhaps you don't really want an answer), I don't really know when they learned the word.

 

I usually find out through some casual conversation where the word comes up while we're walking through Wal-mart or hear it blaring from someone's car or some such thing. I just find out. I guess in that sense, either one of my two youngest may have actually heard the word, but I'm pretty sure they haven't because I'm usually with them when they're out and about. The other three - well, the boys especially have been in the work world and they've pretty much heard it all. Dd18 probably got it explained gently to her by one of her older brothers at some point - they often are out with friends after church at Burger King or whereever so could easily hear it when I'm not there to notice. Any one of them may have actually heard it before they were 18 (I'm pretty sure the boys did) - but I was only referring to my 12yo and 15yo when I said they hadn't heard it yet.

 

The short answer - it varies. The point is, as long as I have any say about it, I will delay their exposure to that word and any other foul thing not necessary to their living their daily lives until it becomes needful to do so (or I don't happen to be around at the time).

 

nah, girls don't have to sign up for the draft.

 

I really did wonder when/how they did find out. I know my kids have heard it out in public...ball games, traffic jams, parks, playgrounds, etc.

[OLG]

As awkward as it may be, I think the co-op teacher may have saved your child from some future embarrassment; in short, I think she did your dd a favor. "What the..." really does mean WTF. Your child needed to know.

 

Be thankful your dd didn't say it in church or somewhere else.:001_smile:

 

:iagree:

 

Let it be.

[AngelBee]

 

I really did wonder when/how they did find out. I know my kids have heard it out in public...ball games, traffic jams, parks, playgrounds, etc.

 

From their parents. :001_huh:

[Starr]

It is quite amazing that this continues to be a topic of conversation.

[AngelBee]

It is quite amazing that this continues to be a topic of conversation.

 

More amazing...the strange tags. :confused:

[Imprimis]

 

Your continued assertion to keep kids at home if we want to protect them is inappropriate. Allowing someone the authority to teach a science class, for instance, does not allow a teacher free reign over my child. The private school which my oldest dd attends requires parental permission to use corporal punishment on children (which I don't give). My rights as a parent don't end when I allow someone else to teach or interact with my kids.

 

 

Completely agree with this.

[bzymom]

Since this is still bubbling, I have to add that having given this some thought, I cannot think of any circumstance under which I would be okay with any teacher using this word with any of my kids. None.

 

OP, I hope you have some resolution that brings this to a peaceful end for your family.

[simka2]

Your continued assertion to keep kids at home if we want to protect them is inappropriate. Allowing someone the authority to teach a science class, for instance, does not allow a teacher free reign over my child. The private school which my oldest dd attends requires parental permission to use corporal punishment on children (which I don't give). My rights as a parent don't end when I allow someone else to teach or interact with my kids.

 

.

 

I cannot follow the logic here. :confused: As a parent, yes, you have the right for your child not to be beaten by someone else. I do not see a correlation between that and having the right to insist on your kids only hearing certain words from certain people, when they are out of your direct care.

 

If the teacher had called the OP's dd an F*ing brat! We would have a verbal assault situation, but that is not what happened.

[unsinkable]

From their parents. :001_huh:

 

I am not following you. :confused:

[Wendi]

I just do not think the teacher should have been in that position in the first place. "If" this is a conservative co-op then the parent should have already explained why it was not appropriate for her child to speak that way. The parent let the child say something that holds many different meanings for many different people. Many of those meanings are offensive. The child was set up.

 

It is a little bit like "blame shifting." If I set my child up, I am to blame for it. (and like I previously stated I have done this and I was devestated for dd, but I wouldn't blame someone else)

 

If this was a secualr co-op than we have an entirely different dynamic. In that case it is a given that some wil interpret WTF as What the F*ck. In that case, I think the child was really set up. Once by not already being informed...and then by being educated on it. In a secualr co-op I cannot see a teacher thinking twice about WTF, so I wonder why she would bother. ;)

 

I respectfully disagree. Even in a Christian co-op, even in a conservative Christian co-op, even in a conservative Christian co-op where all the people are members of the same church, people are going to have different attitudes/beliefs/opinions about things. I have never been in a group where everyone agrees about absolutely everything. (That would be a cult, I guess, so it's a good thing I haven't.) It's fine for some families to decide that "what the ..." is too close to cussing, obviously implies the "f-word", whatever, and that their kids can't say it. And if enough people feel that way, I suppose the co-op would reasonably include that phrase along with other vulgarities as not allowed at co-op. But I think we need to extend grace to those who disagree in these instances, and not assume that whenever we make a rule for ourselves/our families, that everyone who doesn't also follow that rule must be WRONG! :tongue_smilie: I like the saying at our church (might have originated with Augustine): "In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity."

 

I don't think the child was set up at all. Do we really have to explain every possible objection that anyone might have to everything we do? There are Christians who don't go to movies; do I have to tell my kid to never mention movies in case he's ever around someone who doesn't approve of them? Or should we all extend some grace about these issues?

 

Wendi

[Ria]

 

Your continued assertion to keep kids at home if we want to protect them is inappropriate. Allowing someone the authority to teach a science class, for instance, does not allow a teacher free reign over my child.

 

You are absolutely right, and I apologize. I have not expressed myself clearly. Let me try to explain:

 

The OP did allow someone else to teach her child, and by so doing she allowed for the possibility that the child might be exposed to or taught things that she wouldn't be at home; one cannot control outside situations. Thus, my assertion that the only way to make sure a child is unexposed to various influences/words/situations is to keep them at home. Granted, that's not a realistic proposition.

 

I taught in one co-op that put on a play each year. One year the high school play was A Midsummer Night's Dream. One particular mom got herself in a total tizzy that high school students would be allowed to read, much less, act in such an unwholesome play. This "unwholesomeness" was going to continue for two months...the co-op was not going to change the play for one mom. So, the mom pulled her family out of the co-op and that was that. While I don't agree with the mom's take on the play, I understand that she did what she had to because her children would be exposed to Shakespeare weekly had she remained in the co-op.

 

This is NOT the same type of situation...this teacher said one word, on one day, in a specific situation, then approached the mom about it, and that was that. Over and done. What is gained by approaching the teacher now? Is it worth risking a friendship? An entire year at co-op?

[texasmama]

I cannot follow the logic here. :confused: As a parent, yes, you have the right for your child not to be beaten by someone else. I do not see a correlation between that and having the right to insist on your kids only hearing certain words from certain people, when they are out of your direct care.

 

If the teacher had called the OP's dd an F*ing brat! We would have a verbal assault situation, but that is not what happened.

 

It was a loose association.

 

My overall point, not very well-made, was that parents should reasonably expect that their children not be exposed to the F word in elementary school from a co op teacher.

 

I really feel like I am living in an alternate reality here because I cannot imagine ever saying the F word to an 11 year old child who was not my own without the express permission of the parent. It seems like a very simple "parents' rights" issue here. During my years of enrolling my kids in activities, schools or co op classes, it didn't occur to me that I would need to tell each and every adult not to say the F word to them. Ironically, I curse like a sailor, including the F word, just not in front of my young kids. And I would appreciate other adults not exposing them to crass and vulgar curse words that they may never have heard previously. Could it happen? Obviously, it could. But I will go down on the ship that says that the co op teacher was in the wrong.

[simka2]

I respectfully disagree. Even in a Christian co-op, even in a conservative Christian co-op, even in a conservative Christian co-op where all the people are members of the same church, people are going to have different attitudes/beliefs/opinions about things. I have never been in a group where everyone agrees about absolutely everything. (That would be a cult, I guess, so it's a good thing I haven't.) It's fine for some families to decide that "what the ..." is too close to cussing, obviously implies the "f-word", whatever, and that their kids can't say it. And if enough people feel that way, I suppose the co-op would reasonably include that phrase along with other vulgarities as not allowed at co-op. But I think we need to extend grace to those who disagree in these instances, and not assume that whenever we make a rule for ourselves/our families, that everyone who doesn't also follow that rule must be WRONG! :tongue_smilie: I like the saying at our church (might have originated with Augustine): "In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity."

 

I don't think the child was set up at all. Do we really have to explain every possible objection that anyone might have to everything we do? There are Christians who don't go to movies; do I have to tell my kid to never mention movies in case he's ever around someone who doesn't approve of them? Or should we all extend some grace about these issues?

 

Wendi

 

For most of your post, I completely agree with you. I just think the same grace needs to be extended to the teacher. ;) She has her beliefs on what it means and spoke from that.

 

I think it is very wise if you have a sensitive child to do your absolute best to explain those things to them, but they will come across people who see things differently. Then we deal with that. My main point was about blaming the teacher.

 

Here is what happened to us. We were studying (lightly) some greek. Dd and I were talking about X and what it can stand in the place of. One thing it can stand in the place of is Christ. She asked to make a Christmas card for a friend. On Sun morning she gave the card to her friend. On the front it said, "Merry Xmas!!!!" Her ss teacher (an elder at the church) saw the card, took dd (8 at the time) aside and told her she was exing Christ out of Christmas. Dd is very sensitive as well, even though she knew she wasn't, she was embarressed and upset. It was inferred upon her that God would be very disappointed that she was taking Christ out of Christmas. :tongue_smilie:

 

Dd and talk about the fact that this was the teachers beliefs, and not ours. In hindsight, I wish I could have saved her that experience, but I didn't.

 

The only thing I blame the teacher for is being misinformed. Sad for her, but not the end of the world ;). (also, I take spiritual matters very serious in comparison to cuss words, that is probably why the reaction to this teacher seems so out of porportion to me)

Edited September 16, 2011 by simka2

[texasmama]

You are absolutely right, and I apologize. I have not expressed myself clearly. Let me try to explain:

 

The OP did allow someone else to teach her child, and by so doing she allowed for the possibility that the child might be exposed to or taught things that she wouldn't be at home; one cannot control outside situations. Thus, my assertion that the only way to make sure a child is unexposed to various influences/words/situations is to keep them at home. Granted, that's not a realistic proposition.

 

I taught in one co-op that put on a play each year. One year the high school play was A Midsummer Night's Dream. One particular mom got herself in a total tizzy that high school students would be allowed to read, much less, act in such an unwholesome play. This "unwholesomeness" was going to continue for two months...the co-op was not going to change the play for one mom. So, the mom pulled her family out of the co-op and that was that. While I don't agree with the mom's take on the play, I understand that she did what she had to because her children would be exposed to Shakespeare weekly had she remained in the co-op.

 

This is NOT the same type of situation...this teacher said one word, on one day, in a specific situation, then approached the mom about it, and that was that. Over and done. What is gained by approaching the teacher now? Is it worth risking a friendship? An entire year at co-op?

 

Okay, this I understand. (your Shakespeare example)

 

I don't know that the OP should approach the teacher/friend. I don't really have a recommendation regarding that. However, I will continue to assert that the teacher was in the wrong for saying the F word to a young kid.

 

Maybe we aren't that far apart in our thinking...I can't tell.:tongue_smilie:

[Susanah]

The people who disagreee with the OP are not posting in favor of casual use of vulgarity. The cultural reality with regard to speech isn't the issue. Indeed, the teacher referenced by the OP was trying to help the OP's dd from appearing as if she were using such terms.

 

Hearing the "f" word in the context described by the OP isn't vulgar. It's made vulgar by the USE, the vulgarity isn't inherent.

 

I do not use the word, but I have to say that your last 2 sentences are debatable.

 

 

You misunderstand my last paragraph, Joanne. I am not implying that anyone <i>here</i> is advocating vulgarity. This comment is a side observation that bemoans our culture's laxity toward vulgarity. That laxity does tend to immune all of us a bit from the coarseness of certain expressions. Using the F-word used to make us bristle, and no adult would think of speaking it aloud to a child, whether as correction or otherwise. Now, (some - many) men use it in front of woman, (some) parents use it in front of children. There is nothing debatable about it...although it is perhaps slightly off-topic. ;)

[Ria]

However, I will continue to assert that the teacher was in the wrong for saying the F word to a young kid.

 

Maybe we aren't that far apart in our thinking...I can't tell.:tongue_smilie:

 

I wouldn't have uttered it. No telling why the woman did in the first place, but once it was said, it was out there. No going back, kwim?

 

It's a tough call on the OP's part. Having been the co-op teacher in situations involving disgruntled parents, I guess I lean a little toward the teacher's side of things. Gack. Working with people is just. not. easy. (said after a particularly hairy day at the pharmacy....the full moon seems to bring out the worst in people!)

[funschooler5]

 

I really feel like I am living in an alternate reality here because I cannot imagine ever saying the F word to an 11 year old child who was not my own without the express permission of the parent. It seems like a very simple "parents' rights" issue here.

 

No kidding! Christian co-op or secular, friend of the child or not, I cannot imagine saying the f-word in front of someone else's child in any context. :confused: I would definitely question the judgement of somebody using it in a classroom setting.

 

I don't care if how old the child is....even if he or she is a teenager. I have conservative friends who are adults that I don't swear around. It's just common courtesy. They don't like to hear certain words. I'm certainly not going to "educate" them about the ins and outs of different swear words.

 

(And this is coming from someone who uses the f-word fairly frequently :D)

Edited September 16, 2011 by funschooler5

[texasmama]

Working with people is just. not. easy. (said after a particularly hairy day at the pharmacy....the full moon seems to bring out the worst in people!)

 

Maybe this is what is wrong with all four of my kids this week...(I'm about to leave for an overnight stay at a dorm for pregnant teens and ladies for one of my jobs and am actually looking forward to this over spending time with my kids right now...skulks away with a bag over my head...)

 

I have only ever worked with people, and I must agree that it is not easy. Rewarding, challenging, interesting...yep - but not easy.

[texasmama]

(And this is coming from someone who uses the f-word fairly frequently :D)

 

Perhaps we should form our own club.;)

[stripe]

Your continued assertion to keep kids at home if we want to protect them is inappropriate. Allowing someone the authority to teach a science class, for instance, does not allow a teacher free reign over my child. The private school which my oldest dd attends requires parental permission to use corporal punishment on children (which I don't give). My rights as a parent don't end when I allow someone else to teach or interact with my kids.

 

 

I totally agree!

 

A PE teacher I had in high school showed me a picture of his favorite playmate when I went to ask him a question in hus office one day. Is this okay? I think hnot. Everything an adult might want to do is not appropriate, simply because my parents sent me to public school. Adults are expected to behave. Teaching kids swear words is a stretch of imparting morality.

[Joanne]

It was a loose association.

 

My overall point, not very well-made, was that parents should reasonably expect that their children not be exposed to the F word in elementary school from a co op teacher.

 

I really feel like I am living in an alternate reality here because I cannot imagine ever saying the F word to an 11 year old child who was not my own without the express permission of the parent. It seems like a very simple "parents' rights" issue here. During my years of enrolling my kids in activities, schools or co op classes, it didn't occur to me that I would need to tell each and every adult not to say the F word to them. Ironically, I curse like a sailor, including the F word, just not in front of my young kids. And I would appreciate other adults not exposing them to crass and vulgar curse words that they may never have heard previously. Could it happen? Obviously, it could. But I will go down on the ship that says that the co op teacher was in the wrong.

 

I usually agree with, and find myself nodding in response to your posts. I think we'd live in the same alternate reality except that I'm on the "other side" on this one. ;)

 

I define "saying the "F" word to them" differently than you do. To me, what the teacher did was no different than explaining to a child ABOUT the "N" word. Using the word being talked about, in a context of information, is not how I define "saying" the word to my child.

 

Of course, my kids have been exposed to most words by that age, so I'm clearly desensitized. I don't equate innocence with lack of cultural knowledge and I don't value not being culturally aware as its own virtue.

 

I'm flabbergasted that we have (how many pages now) of what is, IMO, a blip. The teacher was well intentioned. The subject like of the the OP was misleading. The teacher might have crossed boundaries some of you feel are clear, and intuitive, but they are not black and white, clearly drawn lines. I don't think she was even NEAR a line.

 

The teacher was giving information to the student because she felt strongly about the word, also. :glare: I'm nonplussed at the reaction the teacher is getting by some of the posters in this thread.

Edited September 16, 2011 by Joanne

[Ria]

 

A PE teacher I had in high school showed me a picture of his favorite playmate when I went to ask him a question in hus office one day. Is this okay? I think hnot. Everything an adult might want to do is not appropriate, simply because my parents sent me to public school. Adults are expected to behave.

 

You've totally lost me with this one. Playmate? As in, a friend? As in, a part of his lower anatomy? As in, Playboy Playmate?

 

And what does public school have to do with it?

[texasmama]

I usually agree with, and find myself nodding in response to your posts. I think we'd live in the same alternate reality except that I'm on the "other side" on this one. ;)

 

 

I know. It made me laugh that we are on "opposite sides". But did you get the "loose association" term I used...generally reserved for those with psychotic disorders. I have mental health terms on the brain right now, and I thought you might catch that one, particularly since I was referring to myself.;)

 

Do you see why I am usually a lover and not a fighter? :D

[stripe]

You've totally lost me with this one. Playmate? As in, a friend? As in, a part of his lower anatomy? As in, Playboy Playmate?

 

And what does public school have to do with it?

 

Playboy playmate.

 

Because it was stated (by you:" The only way to maintain the sheltering you describe is to keep a child at home and carefully vet everyone who comes into contact with said child") that one must keep their kids at home if they will object to anything happening, I used an example from my life where my parents assumed I would have a regular school experience, not listen to someone yak about hot women.

[Ria]

Playboy playmate.

 

Because it was stated that one must keep their kids at home if they will object to anything happening, I used an example from my life where my parents assumed I would have a regular school experience, not listen to someone yak about hot women.

 

Gotcha.

[AngelBee]

I am not following you. :confused:

 

Sorry. It was a confession. :D

[Shawna in Texas]

 

"You're an adult now! F--k is a dirty word people say outside of our much different world. It means sex."

 

:D

 

 

No wonder people are hating on this word! When I use the F-word it rarely has anything to do with sex. It's one of the most versatile words in the English language.

[greenvneck]

I have to disagree with some of the other posters. The only reason people think it means WTF is because that is what we have been "programmed" to think. Saying "What the?" does not automatically mean WTF and is in no way offensive and if someone finds it offensive then they need to rething their own thinking rather than trying to change someone else.

 

 

:iagree: My youngers often say, "What the....?" but they have no idea there would ever be anything after that phrase. They are parrotting what they have heard older siblings/friends/tv say. All they know is that those two words are said while trailing off into a question to show that they are confused about what is going on around them. I have a potty-mouth, I admit that, but I would bet money that they have never heard me say "WTF," in exact words, and neither of them go online, so they've never seen the words written.

[greenvneck]

My kids say, "What the?!" fairly regularly. My youngest will usually include the "heck" at the end, but the older two rarely add the "heck." It never occurred to me that someone might think that a 7, 6, and 3 year old were implying the f-word at the end. :confused:

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Tangerine]

It's one of the most versatile words in the English language.

 

There is a youtube video devoted to that very thing. It goes through its uses as various parts of speech.

[funschooler5]

Perhaps we should form our own club.;)

 

:lol:

I'm sure we could come up with an interesting club name.:lol:

[In The Great White North]

I just do not think the teacher should have been in that position in the first place. "If" this is a conservative co-op then the parent should have already explained why it was not appropriate for her child to speak that way. The parent let the child say something that holds many different meanings for many different people. Many of those meanings are offensive. The child was set up.

 

It is a little bit like "blame shifting." If I set my child up, I am to blame for it. (and like I previously stated I have done this and I was devestated for dd, but I wouldn't blame someone else)

 

If this was a secualr co-op than we have an entirely different dynamic. In that case it is a given that some wil interpret WTF as What the F*ck. In that case, I think the child was really set up. Once by not already being informed...and then by being educated on it. In a secualr co-op I cannot see a teacher thinking twice about WTF, so I wonder why she would bother. ;)

 

If this was such a conservative co-op that words not even said are offensive, then the teacher certainly shouldn't have said it.

 

If it were a secular co-op, the teacher shouldn't have complained about the not said/implied word at all.

[Ria]

Nevermind. I'm out.

Edited September 17, 2011 by Ria

[JulieH]

Wow!!!! 35 pages!!!

 

What the??????

:tongue_smilie:

[tammyw]

This morning my kids were watching Phineas and Ferb, and Candace said "What the?" Made me think of this thread immediately.

[LBS]

I honestly could not wade thru all the pages of this discussion, but (and pardon me if this was covered) did it not seem like a possibility to find out from the teacher her side of the discussion. I'm not suggesting that the child was not completely honest, and forthcoming, but, sometimes, well, kids are pretty smart about how they place emphasis perhaps. I guess I'm saying, that, YES, I'd go to the teacher to find out exactly what happened and hear her explanation, but I'd be prepared to be thanking her for handling what might be a different set of circumstances than was shared.

 

I'm only saying this because I've BTDT. I'd get all fired up, worry, fret, stew, over something and then, come to find out, it just was not the way I understood. Again, not saying this child was not 100% truthful, just, well, remember that saying about how there's three sides to every story: what you saw, what I saw and what really happened?

 

I'd go talk to the teacher with an open heart and open mind. Maybe she had a deeper reason, more thoughtful reason in mind, when she said what she said to the child.

 

I confess I have older kids, so am a bit immune to the use of that word....but do continue to ban its use, and give consequences of dire chores, when it does get said.

[simka2]

If this was such a conservative co-op that words not even said are offensive, then the teacher certainly shouldn't have said it.

Joanne did a much better job of explaining this.

If it were a secular co-op, the teacher shouldn't have complained about the not said/implied word at all.

As to your second point....ummm, I agree. That is why I really could not see it happening.