Are your childen's teachers aware of your "habits?"

[Bang!Zoom!]

Do you tell the teachers that you do after-schooling?

 

Or do you just keep it on the down-low?

[Word Nerd]

Do you tell the teachers that you do after-schooling?

 

Or do you just keep it on the down-low?

 

They know I homeschooled them and that I'm still involved in their education, but not the extent to which I still teach them at home. If I did bring it up, I would have to word it in such a way that they didn't think I was asking for permission or their blessing on my efforts.

Edited August 3, 2011 by WordGirl

[Roadrunner]

Nooooooo :)

She does know we used phonics to teach him how to read.

[aggieamy]

Little Librarian is going to have the same teacher for two years in a row and she knows that we're very involved but I don't think she totally understands what that means. Little wrote her a letter over the summer and mentioned that we had been working on math and reading but I doubt the teacher knows that means we've been cracking the Singapore math books, AAS, and other books for two hours a day.

[nansk]

My dd's teacher knows that I taught her to read with phonics two years ago. After dd started bringing home Reading A-Z basic readers ("Man sat on a pan"), I met her teacher to explain that she enjoys reading Harry Potter, Roald Dahl and E.B. White books. So the teacher now knows dd's reading level and has started sending more reading-level appropriate books from the school library.

 

Other than that, we have not told her of our afterschooling plans.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Do you think the kids would be treated any differently if they were aware of the level, intensity or subjects?

[Roadrunner]

Do you think the kids would be treated any differently if they were aware of the level, intensity or subjects?

 

I don't know, but I have a feeling I would be judged. I don't want to take any chances. To let the teacher know how much we do at home will be probably taken as "you don't know how to teach my child, so I am doing it." Well, I don't actually have any issues with my kid's teacher. I just don't like the system (materials and approaches they use) and I don't really think she has a choice. Again, my kids are very young, so I don't want to pass judgement just yet. I am hoping in higher grades we will see a positive change. If not, my kids will be coming home.

[rocketgirl]

Yes, coming from a former ps (kdg) teacher. Honestly when kids begin school we would pretest them to see what they know, don't know, etc so we could plan, but we used a Kdg Test. That test would have never shown that a child could read Harry Potter. If your child is reading that high let the teacher know, somehow. I would have used that info to make a plan before school began and it probably would have saved a lot of wasted time and/or drama for that child.

[wapiti]

I agree, it depends on the teacher and the situation. I'd only tell if there were something to be gained by doing so, i.e., if it would affect how the teacher teaches my child, in a positive way. Some teachers seem more likely than others to put afterschoolers in the (negative) category of "pushy parents."

[Word Nerd]

I agree, it depends on the teacher and the situation. I'd only tell if there were something to be gained by doing so, i.e., if it would affect how the teacher teaches my child, in a positive way. Some teachers seem more likely than others to put afterschoolers in the (negative) category of "pushy parents."

 

:iagree: If I thought it might be perceived as helicopter parenting (thwap-thwap-thwap), I would be less likely to mention it.

[aly9712]

Not really. I do make it a point tell them I'm also a teacher, and that learning is pretty important inside & outside of school for us.

[skv_99_99]

I did tell my DD's teacher that we teach other languages at home and traditional music. I think there should be education outside the school as well.

[Laura Corin]

I only do Chinese and (in the holidays) compulsory decent reading. I talk about the former, but don't mention the latter. It's not a secret, but there's no need for me to go out of my way to imply that the school literature studies are thin.

 

Laura

[Bee]

DD's teacher last year knew and even encouraged it. Since all the teachers sit down at the end of the year and plan placement for the next year, I am guessing her teacher for this year knows. If she doesn't, I will tell her at our first parent-teacher conference in the fall. We all share the common goal of educating my child. Lots of parents hire tutors and I don't think what I am doing is any really any different than that. Besides, teachers love parents who are involved with their childrens' educations

[Alessandra]

It depends on the teacher and the situation. The norm here is for educated parents to afterschool their children, specifically to the particular tests used for the honors cut. Many teachers are trained in gifted and know the difference between an affluent hothoused child and a thinking child. They'll share resources and they'll recommend appropriate classes.

 

:iagree:

 

I only do Chinese and (in the holidays) compulsory decent reading. I talk about the former, but don't mention the latter. It's not a secret, but there's no need for me to go out of my way to imply that the school literature studies are thin.

 

Laura

 

Ditto about the literature (not the Chinese). My guess is that most of our teachers would prefer literature to test prep, so I don't want to take a 'superior' attitude (plus, I don't have one).

 

DD's teacher last year knew and even encouraged it.

 

We all share the common goal of educating my child. Lots of parents hire tutors and I don't think what I am doing is any really any different than that. Besides, teachers love parents who are involved with their childrens' educations

 

Lots of people in our area hire tutors, so doing extra work is normal.

 

I share w/ teachers and have had positive feedback. A few teachers have been wanting to see SM and/or CK, so I'll bring the materials in.

 

I try to let teachers know what we are doing. As much as possible, I try to link our work to the school curriculum. Sometimes, I'll email a photo of a worksheet or a project. If the teachers is really responsive, I'll keep up the info. If not, I'll scale back.

[momsquared]

Not really. I do make it a point tell them I'm also a teacher, and that learning is pretty important inside & outside of school for us.

 

Yeah that! DD is also in a new school this year. She was in a small Catholic school for the last two years and is heading to public. I definitely make my position and interest in her education known. Some way or another I am paying for it, so I make sure I get my moneys worth. :lol:

[ApronMama]

Ds' teachers have all known about most of what we do. They have been very supportive, since the ps science program is way behind my son's interest level and they don't do any history before 4th grade. He's also been so far ahead of the reading program offered, they have been glad to work with us to make the reading he is doing at home count for school. He works on projects related to what we are learning and brings them to school to discuss with the teacher.

 

The relationship goes both ways--when I shared our summer math plan with his teacher, she encouraged me to go in a different direction than I had planned. Turns out, she was right.

 

We've been fortunate to have the same teaching team for 2 years and a K teacher who was very interested in thinking outside the box. I'm not sure what next year will look like, or if I will share the extra things we are doing for our Ker, who is a very different child than my 1st guy and fits much better into the public school "box."

[Guest jsew]

As a former elementary school teacher, I know how important it is to work together with my child's teacher. I simply say that I have worked with her before she started Kindergarten and will continue to work with her after school. I refer to "The Well-Trained Mind" and say that I like using the program because it helps me expose my child to classic literature, etc. that she may not be exposed to at school. I don't go in to much more detail than that unless they ask. The teachers can tell how much I do at home based on how advanced my daughter is- no need to tell them.

[HeidiKC]

I don't know, but I have a feeling I would be judged. I don't want to take any chances. To let the teacher know how much we do at home will be probably taken as "you don't know how to teach my child, so I am doing it."

 

Yeah, I don't think they'd treat the child differently, but would likely treat the mom (or dad) differently. Whether that'd be good or bad depends on the teacher!

[HeidiKC]

Yes, coming from a former ps (kdg) teacher. Honestly when kids begin school we would pretest them to see what they know, don't know, etc so we could plan, but we used a Kdg Test. That test would have never shown that a child could read Harry Potter. If your child is reading that high let the teacher know, somehow. I would have used that info to make a plan before school began and it probably would have saved a lot of wasted time and/or drama for that child.

 

Well, so I would probably let the teacher know my child is reading at a high level but might not go into detail as far as how she got there. And if a child is reading at that level in kindergarten, I don't think it's just due to being "taught" by the parent. Some kids are just early readers. There are going to be other kids who are reading at a high level that are not taught by the parent. My oldest son was reading chapter books in kindergarten. My last son is about to start kindergarten and can only read a few simple words. I didn't do much differently with the two of them, although I probably spent a bit more time (not much) with the first. The first just learns much more quickly and was more interested in playing phonics games on the computer. And the teacher needs to know about any child that reads at an advanced level, not just an afterschooled child.

 

Anyway, I guess I'm getting OT! So yes I think it is important for the teacher to know where your child is (above, below), but not necessary for her/him to know the extent to which you work with your child. I think these are two separate things: where your child falls academically, and the fact that you afterschool. Even though the two may be related, probably doesn't matter to the teacher as far as how she would or could educate your child.

[Roadrunner]

We never told anything to the teacher. She pulled me over couple of weeks into the school year (after the evaluations were done) and informed me my boy was reading on a 3rd grade level (I didn't really know what that meant at a time). My kiddo told me he was asked to read word and those words got increasingly difficult. That's his description (he was 5 at a time), but it looks like they do comprehensive evaluations.

[Bang!Zoom!]

Boy this is interesting hearing all these responses.

 

I guess I'm going to be going in person sometime next week to the district or at minimum the actual school she *may* be attending; that's still up in the air.

 

I'm trying my very best to stay open-minded before the beginning of the year. This conversation is very helpful.

 

I have almost a creed or vow in the way I life out my life; and that is...to *not* live my life or make decisions based on my emotional thermometer or past experiences. I do my best to be as fair & flexible as I can lest I get humbled in a hurry...

[Daisy]

My husband loves to hear of parents who are afterschooling. I can't imagine a teacher (worth their salt) who wouldn't be thrilled to discover parents who were that committed to their children's learning.

 

When teachers are complaining in the teacher's lounge it is rarely because a parent wants to be too involved. Usually they are griping about the parents who block the school's phone number.

 

My husband is also jealous of the resources that parents can use with their children that will never be available to him. He'd want to see SM just so he could drool over it.

[kahlanne]

I don't afterschool but do have a question. What is a tiger mom? We live in LSU territory so it has a different meaning here I am sure. ;)

I would like to add one of my experiences. My daughter and son had the same reading teacher for 5th grade. They both loved her and I did as well. However, at the meeting with individual patents, she was surprised to realize I hs our younger daughter. She didn't seem put off but surprised. She asked about curriculum and such. In our talk, I mentioned the book " Reconstructing Penguins" and how I loved it. I told her I would donate it to her if she was interested but she seemed to take offense. She said she had all the teaching supplies needed and ended the conversation. I swear I was just trying to be nice and helpful but sometimes people become so defensive. I did tell her my older daughter loved her and we were looking toward to her teaching ds. She never took it out on ds but I now keep things to myself.

[kahlanne]

Sorry about the typos...typing on phone is difficult with big fingers.:)

[Bang!Zoom!]

The term "Tiger Mom" is a fairly new expression in popular culture that sprang from a book by Amy Chau which in reality was a parenting memoir.

 

When the Wall St. Journal published excerpts on the book, they chose text which would instigate an obsessed parent/pushy parent in a negative light. Caused quite a stir and a lot of conversation. The article was written that way on purpose.

 

It sold a lot of books basically.

 

You could probably google Amazon for reviews of Any Chua and read the reviews of it to get some of the popular thought.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Battle-Hymn-Tiger-Mother-Chua/dp/1594202842/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312937786&sr=8-1

[HeidiKC]

In our talk, I mentioned the book " Reconstructing Penguins" and how I loved it. I told her I would donate it to her if she was interested but she seemed to take offense. She said she had all the teaching supplies needed and ended the conversation. I swear I was just trying to be nice and helpful but sometimes people become so defensive. I did tell her my older daughter loved her and we were looking toward to her teaching ds. She never took it out on ds but I now keep things to myself.

 

Doesn't that just STINK?! Especially something like that book that isn't curriculum, but just great information about leading great book discussions. Weird. I can see if you were offering her your math workbook to have a look at, but this book?!

[T'smom]

Full disclosure: I'm not an afterschooler! However, as a former teacher I would be thrilled to know that someone was afterschooling and would do anything I could to assist them. (Suggest resources, etc.) If the child was really advanced and finishing their classwork early, I would let the parent know it would be totally fine for the child to work on their afterschooling work in class. BUT- if I was afterschooling, I'd probably not tell the teacher. Lots of teachers aren't really like me.

[Bang!Zoom!]

It must really boil down to the individual relationship between one teacher and one parent.

 

The answers here are so diverse and all over the map from experiences folks have had.

 

Must really be luck of the draw.

[Roadrunner]

Full disclosure: I'm not an afterschooler! However' date=' as a former teacher I would be thrilled to know that someone was afterschooling and would do anything I could to assist them. (Suggest resources, etc.) If the child was really advanced and finishing their classwork early, I would let the parent know it would be totally fine for the child to work on their afterschooling work in class. BUT- if I was afterschooling, I'd probably not tell the teacher. Lots of teachers aren't really like me.[/quote']

 

We just got a letter from my son's first grade teacher saying the education is a partnership between a teacher, a student and a parent. She also sent us a survey asking what our social and educational goals were for our son. I filled it out with all honesty :)

Do you think I should haul MCT to the parent teacher conference in November? :lol:

[Bang!Zoom!]

I've been thinking RR...really...whether or not to involve/inform the squid's (her nickname) teacher in what goes on at home.

 

What the right thing to do is. How to do it. How often to do it. When to do it.

 

I've been thinking that just slapping a URL on a card is a good way to go.

 

The URL would/will lead to her website that follows her learning and stuff as it happens. Projects, results, plans, stuff like that.

 

If the ghostly (whoever this teacher is) figure is this year, they could follow along if they wanted..comment or not if they wanted..just a tool.

 

I've been *told/informed/discouraged* that this is way out of bounds, I do not know my place, I'm pushy, arrogant, helicopterish, a bad mother, tiger momma, neglectful of childhood rights, disillusioned...based just upon this ONE idea.

 

Put a splinter under my mental fingernail, lemme tellya.

 

Then I hear the other side.

 

And I have no idea where we will fall.

 

And somehow, that's just wrong.

[mich311e]

When my son was in kinder I mentioned to his teacher we had stalled at reading and that we used Hooked on Phonics at home (we were using the 2nd grade level Hooked on Phonics) and she listened, was supportive and gave some tips. She said she was aware of the activities we did with my son (museums, zoo, culture, vacations, etc.) because he talked and wrote about them in class. :)

 

I didn't mention it to my son's 1st grade teachers. And I totally hid my excitement when the teacher told me my son was in a small group of kids getting "Singapore Math" enrichment at school. ;) I definitely didn't mention we were doing Singapore math at home.

 

I probably won't mention anything to my son's teacher this year.

[BabyBre]

Yes, and they appreciate it to no end. :) The more I've helped in the classroom by working directly with other children, the more they've come to respect me and my ability to teach effectively without being a certified teacher.

[Spy Car]

Yes, and they appreciate it to no end. :) The more I've helped in the classroom by working directly with other children, the more they've come to respect me and my ability to teach effectively without being a certified teacher.

 

Reminds me of volunteering this past First Grade year on a day when many children were having trouble doing two digit sums. When I went around and showed them how to "make 10s" they all got it quickly.

 

Bill