Haircut decisions?

[Lovemyblessings]

I'm wondering how families here handle the Childs haircut situation. I have always been the one responsible for maintaining the boys' haircuts. I'm absolutely fine with this. I have been a licensed hair stylist for 17 years. When I was married (and even after the divorce) it was an unspoken agreement that I would take care of this detail..... Or so I thought.

My oldest is 9 and went to his dads for the weekend. I got a phone call from him asking if dads girlfriend could give him a Mohawk. (!!!!) Of course I said "no" and that if he felt he was due for a cut I would take care of it when he got home. Aside from the fact that his dad promised me' he would not expose the children to this "woman" because the relationship "wasn't going anywhere," I was annoyed that he felt this was appropriate.

How are haircuts handled in your family- wether you are married or not?

[Mama2Many4]

I give the haircuts when I feel like it, or the barber does it if I'm not in the mood. I'm married to their biological father. I am also their biological mother. In other words they are our kids and I do it all around here.

Edited July 16, 2011 by 3Blessings4Me

[SonshineLearner]

Well, I had put henna on my daughter (12), she came back with blond hair her dad had first tried a box from the store on... then taken her in to try and fix it. It's blond... with pink/orange tint to it. She has brown hair; he apparently said that this was her natural color. I'd like to chop something off of him, right now. At least dye his hair pink. Where's the ticked off face?

Edited July 16, 2011 by NayfiesMama
BTW, she'll have to go to school in a few weeks, and her roots are already showing!

[gardenmom5]

when my girls were younger, I cut their hair. When my husband was unemployed, I learned to cut his. It was stressful every single time, but I did it and was even rather competent. I cut the boys hair when they were really small, but he took over as they got older. And now they'd much rather pay a barber than have dad cut it. but hubby's haircuts were much better than the one's my brother got by grandpa - those were pig shaves. (oh, they were horrible. - though my mil PAID someone to cut my boys' hair and it was nearly as bad. she also BRIBED the boys to have it done. ((I only left them for a few hours while we took the girls out to celebrate their academic successes, ))they were teens, I thought they would defend themselves . . . . . she's insane. at least hair grows back.)

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh cuts ds14's hair after I had an oop's moment that resulted in a divot! Can you believe that ds doesn't trust me anymore?!

 

Dd9 refuses to cut her hair, including her bangs. I require that it be brushed and clipped back. I used to cut her hair before that.

[Diana B]

I cut DH & DS's hair - but I just buzz it. They both have hair that would need CONSTANT upkeep (like once a month if we're lucky!) if they wanted it styled in any other way.

 

DS keeps asking for a different style, but I refuse to pay for a cut right now - not even the $5 cut from the beauty school. My mom told him the next time he goes to stay with her, she'll take him to the barber to have it done. I'm OK with that - she's not going to let him get a mohawk or anything. And when it gets too long, I'll just buzz it again. :)

[Mrs Mungo]

I usually take him to a barber on post and ask for a normal boy cut. Today dh took him to a place in the mall. He chose a "spiky cut" from a book. It doesn't lay down now. Oh well, it is just hair, and he will have it cut again in 2 or 3 weeks.

[swellmomma]

I'm wondering how families here handle the Childs haircut situation. I have always been the one responsible for maintaining the boys' haircuts. I'm absolutely fine with this. I have been a licensed hair stylist for 17 years. When I was married (and even after the divorce) it was an unspoken agreement that I would take care of this detail..... Or so I thought.

My oldest is 9 and went to his dads for the weekend. I got a phone call from him asking if dads girlfriend could give him a Mohawk. (!!!!) Of course I said "no" and that if he felt he was due for a cut I would take care of it when he got home. Aside from the fact that his dad promised me' he would not expose the children to this "woman" because the relationship "wasn't going anywhere," I was annoyed that he felt this was appropriate.

How are haircuts handled in your family- wether you are married or not?

 

 

Was the of course no related to who was wanting to do the haircut or to the mohawk? My ds has had mohawks before, and is getting a new one tomorrow. NOt only is he getting a mohawk BUT I am also buying the blue hairspray he wants so he can have it blue when he wants. I need to pick up the purple spray for my dd as well.

 

I handle all the kids haircuts as far as booking the appt at the barber/salon. The kids are excited for tomorrow's haircuts because I booked them in at the place that specializes in kids. It is a bit pricier than the regular barber for ds, but they are willing to work with the fact he is in a wheelchair right now and accomodate us.

 

Beyond booking the appt and driving them there, I have very little to do with the actual cut. I have a couple stipulations, like my boys should not have long hair (even in a mohawk it is kept shorter than most I know), and dd may not shave her head or get a mohawk. Beyond that it is their heads so they can do what they want with it.

 

This week oldest ds was with auntie so she buzzed him for me. He was due for a cut and would not be home for another 10 days from teh time she buzzed him. My sister and my mom know my haircut stipulations so they have taken the kids to the barber/salon when they are watching the kids without checking with me first. No problems.

 

I should say papa and gramma are not allowed to cut the kids hair themselves. My mom used to think she was helping and always cut dd's bangs too short. Papa tried to do it once and dd moved just as he snipped, and she ended up with the bangs being right at the hairline. They now know to take the kids to the salon/barber only.

[Laura Corin]

Husband or I take them to the cheap barber that husband also uses. The boys can have any cut which the school will countenance (which excludes mohawks, non-natural colours, below the collar, excessive spiking...)

 

Laura

[Lovemyblessings]

Swellmomma, my ofcourse referred to both choice of haircut and stylist. We live in a rather.......conservative(?) community and this hairstyle is very uncommon, it would not work with my sons hairtype, would not flatter him at all (he has his moms GIANT forehead) and he is allergic to most styling product. But I also do not approve of hairstylist. I suppose this is where I get judgmental. This woman was a friend of mine while I was married, and I am still friends with her husband. Yes, I said it- she has a husband and he has been devastated over this whole situation. I really wish my children didn't even know about it. I worry about the message it sends. If son had called and said "Dads taking me to barber/stylist for a boys cut" I would not have objected.

[mirandahoops]

I cut DH & DS's hair - but I just buzz it. They both have hair that would need CONSTANT upkeep (like once a month if we're lucky!) if they wanted it styled in any other way.

 

Same here with my dh and our boys. My daughter, I do take to get her hair trimmed when needed.

 

It is an ABSOLUTE NO WAY that ANYONE besides my husband or myself touch my children's hair unless I am right there telling them to do so, or it is necessary because of a life-threatening situation.

 

I have several horror stories of my children going to visit their grandparents and coming home with haircuts. TERRIBLE ones that they did themselves because "they" decided my kids needed a haircut. Whether they did need one or not, I feel it is absolutely not their place to touch a hair on my children's heads, especially without asking me.

 

The first situation was when my daughter was a little over a year old. She went to visit her grandparents, and when she came home, her hair was cut and she had bangs! If that's what you want to call them. My mil did it herself, and they were choppy and uneven and she looked absolutely terrible! Mind you, this is my mil who can't even write because her hands are so extremely shaky. I was so furious when they brought her home and I saw her hair, I picked her up and left and went to my mother's house with her. My husband called and wanted to know if I was coming back, that his mom wanted to see our dd and to bring her back. I was so furious that she ruined my baby's hair that I said she would never see her again. She, of course, has seen my kids (quite often, we have a good relationship now), but, unfortunately did not learn a lesson after we have told them (dh and myself have both) that they may not cut our kids' hair. They have taken it upon themselves several times to do so. Fortunately, now our kids are old enough to let them know NOT to do it when they go to visit.

 

What was extremely horrifying about the experience with my daughter, was that she had never had a haircut before, it was her very first one. I wasn't there, I didn't want the haircut, and she didn't keep her hair! That was 9 years ago, and I have forgiven it, but it still makes me mad! It took until my daughter was 7 years old for her hair to finally look normal after her grandmother decided to cut it whenever she felt like she needed it.

[Princess Peach]

I cut my boys' hair. My youngest has typical little boy hair. My oldest wanted his hair like the guy from the new Tron movie, lol. So it's pretty much a regular boy cut, a bit longer on top and gelled so it's a bit spiky.

 

My girl...<sigh> will not cut her hair and literally is in tears when I take a quarter of an inch off the ends to keep it healthy looking. I would love for her to at least get some long layers in, but she won't. I even offered to take her to the salon!

 

Oh, and I wanted to mention that neither my parents, nor my in-laws would ever dream of touching our kids' hair.

[Starr]

I'm wondering how families here handle the Childs haircut situation. I have always been the one responsible for maintaining the boys' haircuts. I'm absolutely fine with this. I have been a licensed hair stylist for 17 years. When I was married (and even after the divorce) it was an unspoken agreement that I would take care of this detail..... Or so I thought.

My oldest is 9 and went to his dads for the weekend. I got a phone call from him asking if dads girlfriend could give him a Mohawk. (!!!!) Of course I said "no" and that if he felt he was due for a cut I would take care of it when he got home. Aside from the fact that his dad promised me' he would not expose the children to this "woman" because the relationship "wasn't going anywhere," I was annoyed that he felt this was appropriate.

How are haircuts handled in your family- wether you are married or not?

 

I thought this was going to be so much worse but he called you first! Great kid!

[Pretty in Pink]

I have been cutting the boys' hair for the past ten years. If they want a different cut then they have to pay for it out of their allowance. Our eldest ds has done this a few times, although he got the same cut I normally give. He just wanted to see what it was like to have someone else cut his hair.

 

Dh and I do not feel strongly about haircuts and will place no restrictions on styles or colors. My dh had ridiculous hair in high school -- shaved around the sides and back and long on top.

[ChristusG]

I cut my girls hair whenever I decide that it needs to be cut.

[Melinda in VT]

DH and I do not always agree about hair cuts. Sometimes I cut the kids' hair, sometimes he does, and about twice a year the kids go to a salon.

 

If DH and I were divorced or separated, I can vividly imagine the ways in which our kids would use that to get the cut they wanted. My 5 yo is already asking for a Mohawk. If he were in your son's position, I can imagine the conversation going like this:

 

Son: I would love to have a Mohawk.

 

Girlfriend: I can give you one if you want. It's easy.

 

Son (in a rare moment of thinking ahead): Hmm, maybe I should check with my mom first.

 

Personally (and DH does not agree :D ) I think hair is a great way to let kids play with different styles. It's so easily remedied with just a little time. As a wise mother once said to me (when people in our LDS congregation were shocked that she let her daughter dye her hair pink), "It is not a sin to look stupid. Is hair really where you want to draw your battle lines?"

[Stacie Leigh]

It's my responsibility here, since (borrowing from the submission thread) I employ the "give-a-crap-factor", lol.

 

I cut it myself when they were really little and DH buzzed them once (and they looked like they were on chemo, so won't be doing that again).

 

I lucked out and found a local guy who has a couple of kids himself and works in a nearby salon. He charges 5.00 per kid 5 and under and their age after that until they are 10. Haircuts stay at 10.00 til they are over 18.

 

He's fast, chats graciously with the boys about the books they're into at the moment, and actually follows my instructions; plus he's the only person I've found that doesn't try to cut the crown of DS2's hair as short as the rest, which gives him a wild birdlike appearance.

 

Well worth the money since I only take them 3-5x a year.

[Dobela]

Kids get crazy ideas sometimes. Really, and all by themselves. My son gets his hair cut by a local barber that costs almost nothing. He is taken there by either me or my dad whenever he needs one. The first time he asked for a mohawk he was 8 (after seeing another child get one), he was with my dad. He asked grandpa for permission who then had him call me. My son said, "Gramps said I can have a mohawk if you said it was ok." Granted, my dad never said such and ds was just trying to play the cards in his favor.

 

This summer he has his 3rd mohawk. I have chosen to not make hair my battle. Do I like how it looks?? Not particularly but it seems to be somewhat of a fashion here. Ds thinks it is funny and uses it as a funny conversation starter because nearly everyone he sees makes some comment about his hair. By next haircut it won't look like a mohawk anymore.

[Mom0012]

I've always been responsible for haircut decisions for my kids. Sometimes I cut their hair and sometimes I take them to have it done. For my sdd, we had always left those decisions up to her mom. (She's 21, so now she makes her own decisions, but when she was younger, my husband and I never had her hair cut.)

 

Lisa

[sparrow]

Swellmomma, my ofcourse referred to both choice of haircut and stylist. We live in a rather.......conservative(?) community and this hairstyle is very uncommon, it would not work with my sons hairtype, would not flatter him at all (he has his moms GIANT forehead) and he is allergic to most styling product. But I also do not approve of hairstylist. I suppose this is where I get judgmental. This woman was a friend of mine while I was married, and I am still friends with her husband. Yes, I said it- she has a husband and he has been devastated over this whole situation. I really wish my children didn't even know about it. I worry about the message it sends. If son had called and said "Dads taking me to barber/stylist for a boys cut" I would not have objected.

 

My husband typically buzzes his own hair and our son's hair. We're another family with no attachments to conservative haircuts. Our children could do anything they wanted with their hair, but they are more conservative than their parents :001_smile:.

 

However, this is really not about the hairstyle is it? :grouphug:

[Lily_Grace]

Kid's hair = kid decides when and how it will be cut.

 

A few reasons for this:

 

1. freedom of choice.

 

2. a bad decision isn't permanent.

 

3. Better to be stupid now than when he's an adult.

 

 

 

I make offers or suggestions and he considers them, but ultimately makes the choice himself.

[Cinder]

When our ds's were younger I'd give them buzz cuts with the trimmers. When ds1 started CAP, dh started taking him to the barber to get the right trim around his ears. His hair line goes all the way down to his ears (there is no gap) and it was difficult for me to get the taper to look good. I'm not a trained stylist. ;) When ds2 became resistant to haircuts and wanted his hair long all the time (around 12yo), dh took charge of getting the boys to the hairdresser for their cuts. I would normally not care that ds's hair was long, but he's taking classes at a private school and they require boys' hair to be above the collar.

 

Dd is only 6 and goes back and forth on wanting her hair long or short, depending on the length of next-door-neighbor's 11yo girl's hair. Her hair is straight, so I just trim it at home. She looks better with no bangs, though she did trim some for herself because . . . yep, next-door-neighbor's 11yo girl has bangs. *sigh*

[*Lulu*]

Mostly I cut the boys' hair. Now if they want something a little different from the one cut I've mastered I take them to my hair guy. (He charges $10, but is very good at making both the boys AND me happy.) Now that DD has a her hair cut "like Kit" she goes to my hair guy as well.

 

As for haircut choice, I only get uptight about it if we are about to have family pictures/major family function or if they are choosing a style they cannot realistically maintain.

 

We have had the kids give themselves some fairly horrid haircuts over the years, so I am pretty open to anything that doesn't look like a wild animal attacked their head.

[LidiyaDawn]

Our kids make their own hair style decisions - it is, after all, THEIR hair. :)

 

[ds12 usually wears a buzz cut… dd14 changes colours and styles a lot these days]

[Plucky]

I take the girls in for haircuts. Dh takes the boys, or oldest ds takes himself and younger ds. We usually have to agree on anything outrageous. So far highlights are the most we've done here.

[Paige]

We let the kids pick their hairstyles within reason. My son likes long hair so he only gets his cut a few times a year. He has blond and wants it dyed black and to have a nice emo flap in front of his eyes and I say no way, however. He's 9. If he wanted a mohawk, I'd be ok because he'd have to cut it and I know he'd get tired of styling it, so eventually it would be normal looking.

 

My girls just want long hair. I take them for cuts whenever I think they need a trim. If they wanted it really short, I'd cry, but they could do it. One rule, is that they cannot cut their own or their sisters' or friends' hair themselves!! If anyone wants a change, they must come to me so they don't end up like they did last summer with bangs cut to their scalp. :tongue_smilie:

[purplewoman]

I haven't read any of the other responses. I am divorced, and my son got a mohawk at his Dad's once on a weeklong visit when he was around 5ish or so. He had wanted one for about a month before that and I had said no. He called to tell me about it and basically threw it in my face. My ex was laughing in the background.

 

I surprised myself by remaining calm and telling him that I couldn't make the rules at his Dad's house, but mohawks were not allowed at my house. I told him that if he still had it when he came home, I would shave his head bald to get rid of the mohawk. (I have no idea why I came up with this. It was just thrown at me on the phone with no warning. I had to have some kind of response and this just popped out.) He cried and got mad. But, when he came home he had a very short buzz cut. He never got another mohawk. To this day, the kids still tell me they like the way I handled this.

[Lovemyblessings]

I haven't read any of the other responses. I am divorced, and my son got a mohawk at his Dad's once on a weeklong visit when he was around 5ish or so. He had wanted one for about a month before that and I had said no. He called to tell me about it and basically threw it in my face. My ex was laughing in the background.

 

I surprised myself by remaining calm and telling him that I couldn't make the rules at his Dad's house, but mohawks were not allowed at my house. I told him that if he still had it when he came home, I would shave his head bald to get rid of the mohawk. (I have no idea why I came up with this. It was just thrown at me on the phone with no warning. I had to have some kind of response and this just popped out.) He cried and got mad. But, when he came home he had a very short buzz cut. He never got another mohawk. To this day, the kids still tell me they like the way I handled this.

I think you handled this well also. You reinforced that you don't make dads rules, but you will enforce your own. I'm sure this made your son realize he has a responsibility here. Bravo!

[LazyDazy]

I do all the haircuts around here. Although I do have to beg for help for the parts of mine I can't reach. ;) Any style or length is fine as long as it is kept clean. My oldest wasn't keeping his long hair clean so he got a much shorter 'do. Hubby would have left the dirty hair long though. Ugh