s/o on mother-in-laws. Do you actually like your MIL?

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I know this is going to sound crass and horrible LOL but I'm glad I didn't have to deal with this situation....only dealing with FIL situations (and that's bad enough)....hubby's mom died before we got married and I had only met her a few times-she was nice enough personally when I met her but the stories I've heard make me glad I didn't have to deal with her in "family" situations-not that I was glad she died or anything.....it's just how it happened.....

[MiztrezzLyn]

I have had 2 mother-in-laws and both of them were sweet and kind (the first husband, not so much!).

 

My current husband's mother, treated me like her own daughter and told me she viewed me that way. I loved her so very much. She was a joy to be around and ALWAYS made me feel welcome, right from the get-go. She was amazing with her grandchildren and funny as all get-out.

 

She died a year and a half ago and it was like losing my own mother, I miss her so much. It has been an incredibly hard couple years.

[kamom]

I do. We are totally opposite in personality though. And it can unerve me and I think it does her too. I focus on the positive qualities and we get along great.

[mama2cntrykids]

My dh's mom has been gone for over 5 yrs now, but I love my ex-h's mom and always have. Does that count?;)

[Hedgehogs4]

I have wonderful in-laws. I love them both. No issues. zip. zero. nada...except that I wish they lived closer.

[4kids4me]

I liked my MIL more than my mom....and I loved her until she passed away last year. I miss that woman...gone much too soon.

[Jugglin'5]

My mother-in-law is a treasure.:001_smile:

[Cheryl in NM]

I haven't read the original thread. I have 3 mothers-in-law. I'll start from the most removed.

 

1. MIL B*TCH is married to Dh's dad. She hates us, doesn't want us around, treats us and ds like crap every chance she gets (out of ear and eye shot of her husband).

 

2. MIL Sweet Little Old Lady (SLOL) is an absolute sweetheart. She is Dh's dad's ex-wife and helped to raise Dh. Dh didn't like her when he was a child and was a total brat, he even hit her once. He apologized when he was 16 and they reconciled. She was the first MIL to unconditionally welcome me. She's wonderful, but we don't hear from her much anymore.

 

3. MIL Dh's mom. She is great, but she didn't used to like me. It took 10 years! We have no problems now. We talk online several times a week and I go visit by myself when I need time away. If given the choice between spending time with my mom and MIL I'd pick MIL. She's awesome!

[Lady Florida.]

We're not close and I married dh late in life, so she's not "like a mother" to me, but yes, I like her.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I have an up and down relationship with my mil, but we get along fairly well. Nothing like the horrible stories I've heard. Because of a break-down in our initial plans, dh and I ended up living with his parents for the first few years of our marriage (I was 18, he was 20 when we got married.) We didn't get out until ds#1 was 10 months. Our relationship has been better since we moved out. We live 5 minutes away, but we usually only see them at church, occasionally for lunch after church, and on holidays ( don't get me started on the way she "plans" things...:glare:)

[mom31257]

I love my MIL and am visiting at her house right now. She is a wonderful woman of God!

[tomandlorih]

Edited to delete 

[Orthodox6]

I have read so many non-positive experiences recounted in this thread, I am downright scared to try and locate the thread from which this is a spin-off. From the original post, I assumed that the starter thread was about bad experiences, and that this thread was intended to house the happy experiences.

[m0mmaBuck]

I like my both of my inlaws. I doubt they will ever feel like family (because they are so different from my family) but I consider them both close friends.

[Sandy in KY]

We love each other very much and are both very glad we live 5 hours away :-)

[SonshineLearner]

I love my mama, but I love my husband's mom, too. We don't see her much, but I would visit at least 2x a month if I lived around her. I've stayed with her weeks at a time; we're different, but she's a good woman and I've love my kids to know her better.

[tex-mex]

I liked my MIL more than my mom....and I loved her until she passed away last year. I miss that woman...gone much too soon.

Me too!

 

My mother was horrible. I tease my hubs that he lucked out to have his MIL die suddenly at 52 yrs old -- back when we were in our 3rd year of marriage. That was over 21 years ago.

 

Funny thing is... with my own mother's death, I was the "rock" for my family and dutiful daughter with getting funeral arranged, house organized, cleaned, set up for the wake, dealing with the lawyer/courts for probate, etc. No outward show of emotions. I didn't cry over her passing. I felt so relieved she was in a better place.

 

Due to my dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship, I was pleased to have my MIL "adopt" me into her family when I married her son. She threw me my bridal shower, organized my wedding (and paid for it), designed my bridal dress, did my invites, etc. Pretty amazing. She bought us our first home. Paid off our first car loan. Finally, 8 years into our marriage, when I finally had a child -- she spent 2 weeks in our home taking care of me while hubs was working and on a business conference in FL for 3 days. She did the laundry, cooked meals, doted on me and let me nap when the baby napped, and more. I was spoiled by her.

 

She was more than generous and a kind soul. When I did get to see her in person at Christmas and summer vacations at her lake house... it was always a "safe" time to talk to her about anything I was dealing with. She was a practical woman but very easy to talk to. She was the matriarch of our little family and we loved her dearly. In 2010, she was dx'ed with terminal cancer and now in June 2011 -- we have her here at her beloved summer house in hospice care. I am helping care for her and taking care of the family who are devastated by this. Ironically, I am so grieved by her soon coming passing, I cannot type this without being in tears... I have cried so much over this and will miss her so much. (I never cried a tear over my own mother's death. I am so Aspergery with detached emotions and don't allow people to be close to me -- she was one of the few people I let into my "fortress". I will miss her greatly. And here I am a blubbering mess over my sweet MIL. :grouphug:)

 

If anything, she has taught me how to be a good MIL. I hope one day I can welcome my son's wife like my MIL welcomed me into our family.

[msjones]

I adore my MIL. She's like a good friend. I'm very thankful.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I love my outlaws. :)

[3peasinapod]

I like my MIL, and we get along. She's very easy to talk too, and she has a knack for bringing things out that I intended to keep to myself. :glare: We have had issues here and there, mostly because she does like to manipulate things and sometimes exaggerates and makes stories up. I must be used to it now, as it rarely ruffles me that much. She can be really mean to people she dislikes (like punching a girlfriend of one of her sons who disrespected her). :001_huh: If I was with her more, it may get on my nerves, but we only see each other about twice a year.

[AuntPol]

Well I have two MILs.

 

The biological MIL doesn't care for me. She has finally stopped the barbs and seems to be trying to get along the past few years. Fortunately, we only have to see her once or twice a year.

 

Step-MIL is family to me. I just love her to death! I only wished she didn't smoke so much so that I could truly enjoy being in her house more often.

[BatmansWife]

Me too!

 

My mother was horrible. I tease my hubs that he lucked out to have his MIL die suddenly at 52 yrs old -- back when we were in our 3rd year of marriage. That was over 21 years ago.

 

Funny thing is... with my own mother's death, I was the "rock" for my family and dutiful daughter with getting funeral arranged, house organized, cleaned, set up for the wake, dealing with the lawyer/courts for probate, etc. No outward show of emotions. I didn't cry over her passing. I felt so relieved she was in a better place.

 

Due to my dysfunctional mother-daughter relationship, I was pleased to have my MIL "adopt" me into her family when I married her son. She threw me my bridal shower, organized my wedding (and paid for it), designed my bridal dress, did my invites, etc. Pretty amazing. She bought us our first home. Paid off our first car loan. Finally, 8 years into our marriage, when I finally had a child -- she spent 2 weeks in our home taking care of me while hubs was working and on a business conference in FL for 3 days. She did the laundry, cooked meals, doted on me and let me nap when the baby napped, and more. I was spoiled by her.

 

She was more than generous and a kind soul. When I did get to see her in person at Christmas and summer vacations at her lake house... it was always a "safe" time to talk to her about anything I was dealing with. She was a practical woman but very easy to talk to. She was the matriarch of our little family and we loved her dearly. In 2010, she was dx'ed with terminal cancer and now in June 2011 -- we have her here at her beloved summer house in hospice care. I am helping care for her and taking care of the family who are devastated by this. Ironically, I am so grieved by her soon coming passing, I cannot type this without being in tears... I have cried so much over this and will miss her so much. (I never cried a tear over my own mother's death. I am so Aspergery with detached emotions and don't allow people to be close to me -- she was one of the few people I let into my "fortress". I will miss her greatly. And here I am a blubbering mess over my sweet MIL. :grouphug:)

 

If anything, she has taught me how to be a good MIL. I hope one day I can welcome my son's wife like my MIL welcomed me into our family.

 

:grouphug: I'm sorry this is happening to your MIL. I hope it was good for you to talk about her....sometimes it helps. I know when I was writing my original post....I was like this too: :crying:

[pdalley]

 

For those of you out there who have great MILs, I am truly happy for you. It's what I wanted too. I get the sense from some of you who have these great relationships that you are truly bewildered that the rest of us don't, and almost blame us for it. Please don't. You are lucky. It's not that I don't want that type of close relationship with my MIL -- it's that she is not capable of offering that type of relationship.

 

:grouphug::iagree:

 

My MIL is a racist verbally abusive passive aggressive alcoholic who ignores my DH. She has remembered three birthdays of his out of the last 15 years. She hates me because DH married me and didn't 'take care of' SIL. (Never mind that SIL is perfectly capable of taking care of herself)

 

I tried. I was kind when she came to visit and made her as welcome as I knew how. She constantly second guessed my parenting - telling me I should force my anxiety driven middle son to do performances at church and things. She got drunk and fell in our yard and broke her foot and then after she fell off the porch and cracked her head open DH forbid her drinking in our house. She snuck it anyway and he told her she could not come back. She didn't believe in autism and thought they needed a good spanking.

 

She has helped us out when we were truly desperate. There are glimpses of someone I could like very much if she came out more often. That's when she's sober and not on a constant self pity trip.

 

DH - on his own - stopped speaking to her last year. He still sends her birthday cards but refuses to speak with her. He has been happier about the whole relationship than I've seen him. I do encourage him to give her a call on occasion but I don't push overly hard. He truly has done many things to try and make it right but it was never enough and he's just done.

 

I have very limited tolerance for alcoholics. My father was a raging one.

 

She's a great example of what I will not be if and when my sons marry. I really envy those of you who have good relationships with your MILs.

 

It's very hard for me to get past the hurt she inflicts on my husband. I'd say that was my biggest issue with her. I adore him and what hurts him hurts me.

[ChrisN in NY]

I am blessed with a terrific mother-in-law! She moved from NY to SC a few years ago to live with her daughter, but comes back to NY for a few weeks every summer. We love the days she comes to stay with us!