How clean should a 6 yo be able to keep her room?

[jentancalann]

Dd's room is a pigsty. I do not have the time or energy to keep up w/ 5 children's rooms, as I'm sure none of you do, either. My oldest sons went through this as well, but eventually learned on their own to clean it and keep it that way for about a week or two before it needed it again. Dd's stuff is just everywhere, mostly clothes on the floor and knick knacks/trash. She doesn't see it and it obviously doesn't bother her, but my mood actually changes when I walk through her door to tell her goodnight. I hate that the last thing she sees and hears from me each night is how bad her room is. What are your children's rooms like and how do you teach them to keep it up?

[justamouse]

They have to pick up after themselves. That's it.

 

They have asthma and I *need* to keep the rooms vacuumed-if I can't vacuum... So the rooms get picked up.

 

But I did a lot of training, Sitting in there with them, "Now pick that up and put it away. Ok, now this thing. Lets organize these bins." They didn't learn by themselves, it's a learned habit, yanno? At first it was very time intensive, now I tell them to and then I vacuum.

 

If it gets *really* bad, they know they can't go anywhere or do anything until it's done, but i haven't had to pull that for a long, long time.

[MusicMama]

I spent hours cleaning up my toddlers (2 & 3) room last weekend. I organized the toy shelves and cleaned out the toy bins. On Monday, it looked like a toy store exploded. I told them they had fifteen minutes to get stuff off the floor or it would go into "time out". Then I left and shut the door. I ended up taking up two reusable shopping bags worth of stuff out of the room. The next day, I only had to pick up five items. They third day there was nothing on the floor after fifteen minutes, and they could each "redeem" 5 items. I took up shoes, clothes toys etc. I was fully prepared for my daughter to wear her play shoes to church (which would have bothered her more than me!). I can't believe I haven't thought of this sooner, it worked so well! If I hadn't been chasing my other Ds around, I may have responded differently, but mommy was feeling slightly crazed at that point...:D

 

Their room is still messy at the end of the day but clean up time is soooo much smoother now. They are in control, and they are pitted against the timer, not me. I don't nag or say anything other than, "the timer is starting". Good luck, I KNOW how frustrating it can be!

[MaMa2005]

DS doesn't have toys in his bedroom, only books for reading when he cannot sleep. Clothes on the floor and trash are not acceptable and will be met with quick consequences.

 

His toys are in the den and he knows that they must be picked up before bed. It usually takes him 5 minutes as he has learned not to pull out everything at once. It is much easier to put away what you are done with before pulling out MORE things. We started with these rules when he was very young and he rarely needs reminding anymore.

 

IMHO, I would set some rules for her room. Consequences will be given for rule violation. Consistency with the rules/consequences should result with a cleaner room rather quickly.

 

Just my .02.

[Mandamom]

My answer to your question is: depends on how much stuff is in her room?

 

I've had to pull every piece of clothing out of my girls room 2 times in the past 2 months in order to get a reasonable number of clothes so that they can manage the room. Same thing with toys and books. If they have too many they struggle keeping it clean.

 

So, in addition to the other suggestions make sure that they aren't overwhelmed with things in their room.

[Crissy]

If it's a pigsty, your daughter probably has too much stuff in her room.

Limit the number of toys and clothing items, and teach her how to manage them.

[justamouse]

If it's a pigsty, your daughter probably has too much stuff in her room.

Limit the number of toys and clothing items, and teach her how to manage them.

 

Yeah, that, too. I DO go on rampages where everything that is broken gets tossed, everything that is not played with and not broken gets given away.

 

And I am a tyrant about what comes in the house.

 

But I have three girls in one room and they keep it pretty spic and span or Mom will chuck it. :001_smile:

[Samiam]

My children are not allowed to have messy rooms. But it is a training thing, creating habits, I think, as I doubt any child would naturally be inclined to clean the room regularly. But that is just how we always have done it. You know, after reading a book, they put it away; after getting dressed, instructing them to put dirty clothes in the basket, etc.

 

Thankfully DS12 and DS5 are naturally "rule followers" and have always follow the rules of "dirty clothes in basket", "no water bottles on the floor" etc.

 

DS8, on the other hand, is my one that is naturally messy. When he and DS5 were sharing a room, DS5 used to get so frustrated with DS8 for leaving his dirty clothes on the floor.

 

So DS8 is the one that I have to stay on. He gets his clothes to the closet, but completey misses the basket. Oh No, I wash, dry, fold and put away your clothes, I should not have to go looking for your dirty ones all over the closet. So once or twice a week, he is called to his room to put his dirty clothes in the basket (when I notice it). He is gradually getting better, again, a training thing.

 

Now, I will say that we don't have toys in the bedrooms, as they have a toy room (that is a huge mess!), but that does help keep the rooms clean.

 

But overall, it really is a training issue.

 

I know you said you are busy with 5 children, but if this is an major issue for you, it is best to spend 10-15 minutes a day training her and helping her learn how to keep it clean, and soon enough, it will be habit for her, and no longer an issue for you.

[TXBeth]

My DD5 has to have her room clean (everything put away, bed made as well as she can) before she gets breakfast in the morning. If her younger siblings have dumped out bins or pulled a bunch of books off the shelves, I tell her something like "I'll take care of the books; do everything else and then come eat." As long as it's done every day it's not a problem. If we get out of routine and it turns into a disaster, I usually help her one day, working together to get it back into shape.

[OrganicAnn]

My DD has the stuffed animals she sleeps with, some books, dresses hanging up in the closet, some books and that's about it in her room (other than furniture). So to clean her room she has to put a blanket on her bed, put the stuffed animals on top, move any toys/books that she doesn't need out and that's it.

 

A 6 year will have trouble keeping a room clean if he/she has too much stuff and/or is expected to do it on her own without help/direction.

[arghmatey]

I think it really depends on how much you allow her to keep in her room. My 5YO has stuffed animals and a doll house in her room--no other toys.

 

She keeps her floors clear and "makes" her bed in the morning. She helps me hang her clothes and put them away. Nothing else needs to be done by her (I vacuum and steam clean the floors, I dust), and the room looks very tidy.

 

She keeps a stack of books we are currently reading on her dresser, and the rest are on shelves.

[Satori]

My DD6's room always looks like a whirlwind hit it. But she readily cleans it up when I ask, sometimes without being prompted when we have guests. I want her to keep her dolls in her room, so it's usually full of dolls and doll clothes. I've given her plenty of shelves to store them in though, we'll have to work on getting her to use them.

 

The living room used to be cluttered with toys until I started putting them away in bins and storing in our shed. When it would get messy again I'd take away even more. Last month I stored most of the toys away and I've noticed that the house is so much tidier.

[Annie Laurie]

He makes his bed in the morning, not perfect, but good enough. After quiet time, they clean their rooms and I check them, I mostly want things off the floor. If he puts toys back in the bins (not even sorted properly, but at least up) and brings his clothes down to the laundry room, and at least kind of makes his bed, I'm happy.

 

I always gave my kids specifics at younger ages, like "Put all the toys that are on the floor in the bins, look for all the paper scraps on the floor and throw them out, gather all the dirty clothes and put them in the laundry room, put all of your stuffed animals on your bed and not on the floor." One at a time, they do one and come back and tell me, then I tell them the next thing.

 

We also limit how many toys are out a time and rotate them with toys that are up on the closet shelves in storage containers and off limits.

[Guest Savoir Faire]

My daughter is six and is definitely on the messy side. First, I'd suggest getting rid of stuff--- see if she can have some input on this.

 

My daughter is capable of making her bed every day- with a reminder from mom. She should be able to put her clothes in a dirty hamper. She should be able to put her clothes in her drawers.

 

Unfortunately, I find, that the room still involves a bit of hand-holding... but once we get started, she usually likes it!

[Whereneverever]

I have a 7 year old and a 4 year old. They both keep 100% of their toys in their rooms. I don't like policing the rest of the house.

 

The 7 year old keeps her room spotless. She will even vacuum it. She makes her bed and keeps her books and crafts and toys put away.

 

The 4 year old likes to pull out every item she owns and make a mess. She cleans it up every night before bed. I help with whatever she doesn't get done in a reasonably amount of time. I hope that in another year or two she'll do as well as her sister.

 

We'll see. ;)

[Laura Corin]

At that age, I had to tidy up with them - helping them to work out strategies and actually doing some of it. I think a messy room can be completely overwhelming to a small child: they often can't see the series of small actions which will get it tidy.

 

Laura

[Soror]

My 6.5 yo keeps his own room clean. All his toys and belongings are kept in his room but he has been trained for years now. They are expected to pick up 2x a day. In the am- make the bed- put up clothes and such and in the evening before bed. I do keep the toys to what can fit in the totes in the shelves, if it doesn't fit then it has to go. I helped him last week in going through to get rid of old broken toys and little odds and ends(he is a collector) and also some logs were with k'nex and legos w/ dominos, that sort of thing. I hadn't helped at all otherwise though in several months.

 

My 4 yo generally keeps her own room as well but I do step in and help some with her. Like if she has pulled out a bunch of things I will give her the order to do jobs- like first you need to put up dishes, after that is done then I give her another directive and on until it is done. The 18m.o. likes to come in and pull things out as well so I will help due to that as well. She is more and more able to tackle the messes she makes though. All her toys and belongings are in her room as well. She makes her bed as well, although I help at times and is expected to pick up a few times a day also. I find as well that just being in the room helps her if she has gotten overwhelmed.

 

I think the big things are:

1) Clearing out as much as possible

2)Having a specific place for what is left

3)Going over repeatedly with them the steps to cleaning- alongside them as they are learning

4) Frequenty(at least daily) cleanings to make sure it never gets too bad and overwhelming

[Pamela H in Texas]

My oldest little is five. She and the four year old came from filth and just don't notice it. A lot of things just needed a new routine. For example, when we realized she wasn't wiping, we started telling her to wipe when she went to the bathroom. Now it's to the point that she does every time. Same with her room. I don't expect perfection, but dirty clothes can make it to the basket in the hall. Rooms have very few toys in them so that isn't an issue. All toys are put up before bed. It's just part of the nighttime routine for safety.

 

For awhile, we had 9 people in the family which helped us do better out of necessity. Last week that changed and now there is only 7; I feel our standards slipping a little! LOL It really helps to have people in and out of the house pretty regularly though. It keeps ME better accountable so I will keep them more accountable. Do you have a handful or two of people you can get to stop by regularly? LOL

Edited May 31, 2011 by 2J5M9K

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[ChristusG]

My DD (just turned 7) will now keep a pretty clean place....since she as about 6. DD4 and DD7 share a playroom where all the toys are (we have a family bedroom). I expect them to keep it clean. This falls mostly on DD7. They both go in there before bedtime and clean up every single thing. If it stays out, it goes to Goodwill. We have boxes and bins for each type of toy in the closet. If one type of toy is out, they are not allowed to take out another type. This has really helped control the mess.

[Peela]

I really think it is also a personality thing and for some kids, organisation comes easier than for others.

For some kids, the mess just doesn't bother them, either.

Some kids need a lot of help and patience to keep their space clean.

I hadnt quite discovered Flylady when my kids were that age, but by the time they were a bit older I had, and she really helped me develop a good attitude to cleaning, and not to let kids rooms become a big issue. flylady.net

[jentancalann]

Thanks for the replies! I didn't expect 3 pages when I woke up. :-)

I pretty sure she doesn't have too much stuff, compared to children today. Almost all of her toys can fit in a small collapsable net bag. Her room is small, though, so there isn't much room for storage. We probably need to do something to organization-wise to her closet. It's really the clothes, I think. For a long time I wouldn't come in her room at night unless her dresser drawers were closed. There is just no reason for every drawer to be open with clothes hanging out! We've been over it and over it, I've taught her, reminded her, punished her- it's just not catching on. I like the idea of taking everything out. Now that it's summer I may pack up her room and give her stuff back little by little to help her start small.

[jentancalann]

I really think it is also a personality thing and for some kids, organisation comes easier than for others.

For some kids, the mess just doesn't bother them, either.

Some kids need a lot of help and patience to keep their space clean.

I hadnt quite discovered Flylady when my kids were that age, but by the time they were a bit older I had, and she really helped me develop a good attitude to cleaning, and not to let kids rooms become a big issue. flylady.net

 

I was doing pretty well with Flylady about the time I got pregnant with her. It was one of those pregnancies where everything you experienced in the first trimester was something you never wanted to think of again! I got a Swarvski cross necklace during that time that I couldn't wear again til she was about 4 without wanting to puke! Flylady became one of those things and I can't seem to pick it up again. I've tried, but maybe I'll try again. ;)

[Susan in TX]

Routines are important. It's not enough to clean the room and then just expect her to keep it that way. That doesn't even work for my 8 and 10yo. I would definitely reduce the number of clothes she has...if they are hanging out of the drawers there are too many.

 

Then, simply have a morning clean up the room time, and one before dinner or before bedtime. In the morning have her pick up clothes, close drawers, make her bed, throw away trash...just a quick straighten up. This shouldn't take more than 15 minutes. In the evening have her pick up all toys. This could take up to 30 minutes depending on how many toys have been gotten out. You might even print up a chart of things she needs to do like: put toys away, close drawers, throw away trash, pick up clothes etc.

 

I would expect her to need help with this at first, but if you are consistent about doing it every day after awhile it will become almost automatic and then she should be able to do it mostly on her own.

 

Susan in TX

[Wabi Sabi]

We have my 6 y/o straighten his room almost everyday (we may skip a day here and there, but it's done most days.) If it is picked up daily then there's never too much mess, but if we let it go for a full week or longer then it is too overwhelming for him to handle.

 

Done daily it takes him maybe 5-10 minutes, tops. A couple times a week I'll spend 5 minutes helping him. He has shelves in his room and everything has a spot. He knows that Legos need to be put in their bin, assorted action figures in another bin, books back on the shelf, and so forth. He also is responsible for gathering any laundry and putting it in the hamper each day.

 

Honestly? His room is probably the neatest room in the house. I wish we could somehow manage to apply the same technique to the rest of the house, sigh.

[Penny from Tenny]

My almost 6 year old can dust her furniture, put everything in it's "box"and boxes in their place, and clean her closet floor by putting things on the shelves and straightening her shoes (instead of the PILE that tends to happen). It literally takes her minutes to do this and is not a big deal. We do manage to keep things at a functioning minimum because I cannot deal with more stuff than we have space to put things. :D

 

ETA: And she puts her folded laundry away in the appropriate drawers. She can't reach the hanging clothes yet so I take care of them.

Edited May 31, 2011 by Penny from Tenny
...forgot something

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

My boys, 6 & 8 have a large bedroom that is also their playroom, and it can get pretty pigsty-ish in there. I've been in there with them on many occasions and instructed them specifically how to clean up.

 

They like to leave things out that are on-going games, which to me just looks like a sty, but we made some ground rules and concessions. Rule #1- dirty clothes need to be thrown down the chute. If I see dirty clothes on the floor, a weekend day of screen privileges is revoked. Rule #2- Before playing or screen time on Saturday, the room needs to be cleaned up so that whoever is assigned to vacuum upstairs can vacuum their room. Rule #3- Sheets and blankets must remain on the bed. They specifically cannot be thrown down to the bottom of the stairs to serve as a landing pad for jumping off the middle of the staircase. :lol:

 

Anyway, we reached this compromise which allows them to have a bit of a mess, but allows the room to be vacuumed and dusted once a week. Works for us. I think you could come up with some guidelines that you expect from her. She should be able to do something to keep her room a little more tidy.

[Dmmetler]

My DD has been fairly well trained to pick up nightly, and does a pretty good job. Whatever she's playing with most lives in the playroom, and that gets cleaned up, and while toys are stored in her bedroom closet, they're not usually out in her room, except for books and stuffed animals.

 

Saturday she has to do a full clean up of bedroom and playroom, to Daddy's satisfaction. Daddy helps more than Mommy does, but also is a lot more picky. Since Mommy works most Saturday mornings, it works out nicely-once a week, he gets to be the bad guy and make her clean her room-and I come back and it's usually done.