Jean in Newcastle Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Just a general musing on why holidays are so important to so many people. I struggle with the celebrations because I'm barely hanging on with the daily and celebrations add so much more to the mix that I can't cope! But - I want to understand the why behind all the hoopla and pomp and family gatherings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 We enjoy some holidays, but generally dread them until the actual day. Planning sucks, but having the celebration is fun for us, so that's why we do it. We don't really think about the holiday until a few days before the event. I can say that our celebrations are very low key and revolve around food that we only eat certain times of year. My son loves making the menus for the events. As long as everyone participates in the preparation, it's a pleasure for us. We have an open door policy, meaning people are invited, but we don't stress about who and what time. The food is done when we're done cooking, we eat when the food is done. If people are here, we eat with them, if not we try and save them some. We developed that philosophy after years of stressing over holidays. Now we just enjoy them :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 For me....it's fun! I love the excitement, the food, the family, the parties...all of it. I enjoy decorating, baking, making crafts, taking photos and all of the other things that go along with celebrating a special day in our lives. I love the memories I make with my children and how their eyes light up when we look at our scrapbooks of past holidays and the time we shared together. I think it lifts us out of the mundane and ordinary and helps us appreciate each other and the sweet things in life. I'm speaking very much on the surface here and including all holidays. Obviously some holidays have deep religious significance and our response to those is on a different level than say, celebrating New Year's Eve or something like that. However, because I am such a holiday junkie, we do have lots of extra celebrations....like a special plate at dinner for a child who's done something worthy of recognition and appreciation by other family members. I also tend to go over the top at holidays and do LOTS of fun things simply because we enjoy them so much. And honestly, I don't know if it's fulfilling anything especially deep and needy in me (well, maybe my inner Martha Stewart...it makes her very happy:lol:). I just truly enjoy celebrations and everything that goes with them. Please understand that this is from a girl who makes homemade Peeps, so take it for what it's worth. :D Oh, and if you ever DO get bitten by the holiday bug and want to celebrate....try this site for lots of fun ideas: http://www.ourbestbites.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 For me personally, the answer is yes. A need to push my sanity to it's outermost limits. How long can I deal with being relentlessly touched by other people? (Personal space is a BIG issue for me.) How much time can I spend with my MIL, who is the human embodiment of Sweet N Low (fake & overly sweet)? Holidays would be fantastic for me-- if I could spend them with just my husband and children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 I think there is a need fulfilled by holidays. We (humans) have been having holidays since the beginning of time. It doesn't matter which time you personally think is the beginning. There have been religious and secular holidays. There have also always been tribal celebrations. It could be the marking of time or the change in routine or some combination those and other reasons holidays are important to us. That said, personally I enjoyed the holidays more when I was younger. I could be the work didn't bother me or it could be because we are alone here. I am looking forward to the day my parents move here. Holidays and family celebrations will have something more when we have someone to celebrate with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 I am not a big fan of holidays in general. I like getting together with people just because, not because of some pressure that we (as a greater group) must celebrate. Maybe it's part of my non-confrontational self. I don't like Christmas break. Now I celebrate Christmas, you (rhetorical) you may celebrate whatever holiday you like at that point. I call it Christmas, but I hate the pressure to celebrate in a prescribed manner. I'd rather never do a tree again, they disrupt the order of my house. In fact the only holiday I really like is St. Patrick's Day, everyone gets to be Irish for a day. :D Holidays tend to get me off beat. They interrupt our school momentum, they don't come when we have money to celebrate. What are property taxes due right at Christmas time anyway? I have a hard enough time staying on task, keeping life organized. I'd rather have personal holidays. In fact I just made the school schedule for next year. We're taking off several weeks during the year, scheduled when I know we'll need them, not when a holiday is scheduled. Dh asked if I were doing a basket for ds this year. Well, no, he's 13. He's not into chocolate bunnies and he feels he's too old to search for eggs. As a compromise we bought him some snacks and a cool pencil holder with an Einstein saying. I was saying the pencil holder for the end of school, but I still feel the pressure to give him something. Maybe that's the non-conformist in me. I'll give gifts when I d*** well feel like it. Maybe that's on the 3rd of June or 5th of August, just because that's when money and opportunity collide. I'm cooking dinner for my parents today (only family in town), which is fine. They've had ds for the last few days, they need to bring him home anyway. :lol: We're not making a big deal of it. Turkey and some other stuff to eat, time together. We do that anyway. I know the meaning of Easter and I appreciate it. I don't need an egg to remind me. It doesn't help I finally slept last night, but I'm still tired. I wanted to sleep in today. But now I must start the turkey. *sigh* At least I like turkey. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 I realized just recently (as a grown up) that my religion, Islam, is very free of pomp and circumstance, of ceremony, and of excess. What I mean is we have 2 holidays a year. The main thing you do on these days is to go to the mosque and do a short prayer in congregration, give food to others less fortunate than you (either by paying a distributor to do it or by doing it yourself depending on where you live), and that's it. Of course families gather around a meal, etc, but that is just icing on the cake. Religious duties are simple, don't require extra clothes, extra decorations, or extra gifts. The extra time is even minimal. We don't stress much (as a group) over holidays like I see Christians stress over Christmas and other holidays. Consumerism hasn't hit us yet! I hope it never does. Our holidays are more to observe the religious part of it and not so much to play games. Because we celebrate only two holidays only, that means we don't celebrate things like Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Thanksgiving, yada yada yada. If you tried hard enough you could find a holiday each day of the calendar! Hope you don't stress about your holidays and that you can enjoy and celebrate them for what they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 We don't stress much (as a group) over holidays like I see Christians stress over Christmas and other holidays. Consumerism hasn't hit us yet! In most places with a big Muslim population, there's an enormous amount of shopping (and eating) during Ramadan. Part of the shopping is for food, part for Eid presents. I've never seen an iftar for guests that even resembles a regular meal. In preparation for Eid ul Adha, there's also a lot of arranging of animals! And I think you can't get much more pomp than Hajj. In some localities, there are other Islamic activities besides the two Eids as well that are popular. Other people do celebrate other days, maybe not as holy days, but as celebration days, including school graduations, weddings, wedding anniversaries, births of babies, and other non-religious festivals, that make life fun. And there are all the recommended fast days (Mondays, Thursdays, the white days of the month, Ashura, etc), which may end up being a communal activity if multiple people in a family, say, observe them. (And yes, some Muslims do (gasp!) celebrate birthdays, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day and so on.) I think the fun aspect is great. Wastefulness, not so much. But there's a lot to be said for communal enjoyment especially given how many people around the world suffer on a daily basis. I think it's great to have a time to step back and have fun with relatives. Make the day special. I think it's very important. And it's good for kids to have special activities. When my grandma was a kid, things like an orange were a special treat. When so many things are available every day, it's important to have special activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 ...But there's a lot to be said for communal enjoyment especially given how many people around the world suffer on a daily basis.... :iagree:Oooo! That is a great answer! I realized just recently (as a grown up) that my religion, Islam, is very free of pomp and circumstance, of ceremony, and of excess.... ...We don't stress much (as a group) over holidays like I see Christians stress over Christmas and other holidays. Consumerism hasn't hit us yet! It is a bit crude to judge an entire religion, including your own. That's great you have found minimalism in your beliefs, but your practice and view is not the majority of Islam. I am not Christian but I'm annoyed when people stereotype entire groups. A lot of Christian sects are against consumerism in celebrations of their holy days. Most the commercialism comes in the form of the secular part of celebrations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
susankenny Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 America is a melting pot of people, so we have a lot to celebrate! My family does not participate in all of the vast holidays to choose from, but I love that they're there. I think it's fabulous to have so many things to celebrate and traditions to choose from. Susan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted April 24, 2011 Share Posted April 24, 2011 Easter, imo, is different from every other holiday. Christmas comes close, but nothing trumps Easter. Sure there's the commercial hoopla, but thank God I get to start the day bright and early with my church family and sunrise service. We have breakfast back at church with everyone contributing (meaning it's varied foods and I don't have to cook for everyone). Follow that up with the cantata at church later in the morning, dinner at home with my family and a day where Christ's sacrifice and triumph are talked about, marveled over, and thought on constantly and... it's a great holiday :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 To Stripe and Jadedone80, thank you for pointing out my generlaizations. My bad. Speaking for myself, I can say I don't know what it's like to stress over holidays. I'm hoping Jean in Newcastle can enjoy her holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I think so, yes! Just like we need sleep so that we're not just living on and on and on and on (a neverending day could honestly be very overwhelming), commemorations/holidays also break up the regularness of every day living (going on and on and on and on with times of celebration/break could also be very overwhelming). I'm thankful for a God who has set in motion not only these times of celebration, but ways of celebrating that are deep and meaningful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) I used to totally believe they were bogus and scorned them. Really, I honestly, totally did. But I changed for my children. "Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways and see, and walk for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein and ye shall find rest for your souls." Jer 6:16 Or I think it was Patty Joanna (correct me if I'm wrong) who said something to the effect of "every time you walk on a path, you make it new" I was leaving nothing behind for my children. They might be able to extrapolate some sort of traditions from our lives, but nothing that might uphold them as a family that shared a collective memory of holidays and traditions. Being able to actually enjoy them came from ME, though. I had to learn how to plan well so that I wasn't shell shocked by the time the holiday came. Every holiday I get better at it, but it's a work in progress. ((())) Edited April 25, 2011 by justamouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Just a general musing on why holidays are so important to so many people. I struggle with the celebrations because I'm barely hanging on with the daily and celebrations add so much more to the mix that I can't cope! But - I want to understand the why behind all the hoopla and pomp and family gatherings. I think rituals give some measure of continuity. Some things never change. Christmas is Christmas, Thanksgiving is Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. It marks the milestones of a year but for those who celebrate something rooted in religious beliefs, the meaning is a lot deeper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 25, 2011 Author Share Posted April 25, 2011 I'm hoping Jean in Newcastle can enjoy her holidays. Thanks, UmMusa! I did have a nice low-key holiday. It was more centered on our church celebration but dd did beg me to hide some eggs for her and I did. But I'm tired. Ds13 came down with a fever today and if past patterns are any guide I will follow with a fever in a day or two. (We've been doing this once or twice a month for the past 3 months. . . ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I do believe that holidays to remember events are important and can bind others together, particularly those that are shared in faith traditions. Sort of standing stones, if you will. I do not think the holidays in themselves are what I dread and feel drained by. It's more the relentlessly high expectations of others to whom I am supposed to show love to through my frantic attempts to meet said expectations. It's too much... Like you, Jean, I am often just getting back to full stride when another event comes around and sets me back. It's frustrating. I was a bit of a rebel myself this year. One community basket for all the kids. A nice handwritten card for each therein (containing no money or gift cards). A wonderful morning at church. Then the crash of an obligatory family gathering which totally misdirected my focus for the rest of the day. I am still angry, and worse yet, very, very disappointed in myself for letting my anger rise up in the first place. Elegantlion, love your post. Typing on the phone, it is too long to quote, bit I appreciate what you shared. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Just a general musing on why holidays are so important to so many people. I struggle with the celebrations because I'm barely hanging on with the daily and celebrations add so much more to the mix that I can't cope! But - I want to understand the why behind all the hoopla and pomp and family gatherings. Jean, I can really relate with the bolded above. I am in such a state of chronic sleep deprivation that anything above and beyond is a real challenge for me. I hope in the future I will have more energy, more desire, more emotional reserve to tackle plans and celebrations. I used to like decorating, but now, I just don't have the energy to change things up. Right now, I just try to keep things as simple as possible. We're talking real.simple. Like, Easter means...popovers for breakfast. Essentially, our holidays have been reduced to a few special foods and telling and re-telling stories. There are a few pangs in my heart, but right now, it's more peaceful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 Jean, I can really relate with the bolded above. I am in such a state of chronic sleep deprivation that anything above and beyond is a real challenge for me. I hope in the future I will have more energy, more desire, more emotional reserve to tackle plans and celebrations. I used to like decorating, but now, I just don't have the energy to change things up. Right now, I just try to keep things as simple as possible. We're talking real.simple. Like, Easter means...popovers for breakfast. Essentially, our holidays have been reduced to a few special foods and telling and re-telling stories. There are a few pangs in my heart, but right now, it's more peaceful. :grouphug::grouphug: re: the sleep deprivation. :grouphug::grouphug: Natalie, is your church developing traditions for these things? That's what I rely on pretty much at this point. I don't do much extra except set out a decoration or two. And the kids are thankful for tradition, whether it's here or at church -- so I was thinking that even if you aren't doing much at home (although the food and stories are great! And will provide many wonderful memories for your sweeties), that they still will have lots of memories of traditions all the same, through your church, and/or through extended family. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 (edited) I think holidays are about community. Edited April 25, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 I love rituals and ceremonies that are meaningful for me. I definitely think there is a place for them- socially and individually. In fact, life would be far less rich without them. I dont like ones that are dictated to me by the society I live in, ones that are commercialised and meaningless- to me. I do not like feeling obligated to partake in something that has no meaning for me. For me, Christmas and Easter are like that because I am not Christian, and while I can appreciate the pagan side of those two festivals as well- I am not Pagan either- not in that sense of following the yearly celebrations. I do appreciate the public holiday side of them is important to people who work- its a time off to spend with family. Not relevant - to me. I just love to own my right to celebrate the way I choose, when I choose, with whom I choose. One of my regrets is that in Australia we do not have Thanksgiving. That is a social celebration I think I could pour my heart into- I love its significance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted April 25, 2011 Share Posted April 25, 2011 It's a break in the monotony, a chance to be with family, often religiously significant for us, and enjoyable for my kids. I do the things that we enjoy and totally ignore the Martha Stewart types who want to make it a photo op. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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