Ester Maria Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I think I might be scaring the baby when I sing to her to make her fall asleep. :blush: I even coaxed out of my older two a confession that there is something quite coarse and trembling about my voice when I sing which they don't remember from their own early years. How does one work on that? I want the poor thing to have nice memories of her mother singing to her, not nightmares - but I don't have a trained voice, I'm trying to recognize my limits, but I really really want to sing some nice things to her, yet my voice is just trembling too much. :( It's only when I sing - when I speak / yell (not at her! :lol:, just in general), my voice is normal and I don't sound like I'm on the deathbed. I thought it would fix itself with time, as I really didn't sing anything for years before this baby, but it still hasn't really fixed itself. How do I make the experience more enjoyable for the baby? Is there any way to make you voice tremble less? According to my eldest, the problem is not in melody nor tempo nor even specific individual notes, but in continuation, like in holding the tone for longer than two or three syllables, especially when it's higher. Anything which might soften and strengthen the voice a bit? I don't want the baby to grow up hating all those nice things I want her to grow up with! :ohmy: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Practice will improve a voice. Mine sounds much better when I sing regularly. Try prolonged singing in the shower. If you are having problems getting through the notes, you might not be breathing fully. Lie down and relax, then put your hand on your belly. You should feel it rising and falling, as your diaphragm initiates each breath. Now stand up and try to breathe from your belly - the rest of your lungs should follow and this will give you more capacity. Make sure that you are standing or sitting straight, so that your lungs are not compressed, when you sing to your baby. You want your lungs to be able to expand. I'm not a trained singer, but I sing in a choir. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 When I'm very tired and haven't been eating properly my voice doesn't work well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 My children are the only ones who like to hear me sing! I got kicked out of choir in the 3rd grade. That led me to playing trumpet, though, which I enjoy. No ideas, but commiseration. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Practice will improve a voice. Mine sounds much better when I sing regularly. Try prolonged singing in the shower. If you are having problems getting through the notes, you might not be breathing fully. Lie down and relax, then put your hand on your belly. You should feel it rising and falling, as your diaphragm initiates each breath. Now stand up and try to breathe from your belly - the rest of your lungs should follow and this will give you more capacity. Make sure that you are standing or sitting straight, so that your lungs are not compressed, when you sing to your baby. You want your lungs to be able to expand. I'm not a trained singer, but I sing in a choir. Laura :iagree: Though I am not a trained singer in any sense of the word, the more I sing, the better I sing. And your baby will love it when you sing to her, bc you are singing to her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 ** disclaimer - I can't carry a tune in a bucket ** unless the baby starts screaming when you sing, you probably aren't scaring her. But I did have one kiddo who would come totally WIDE AWAKE when I would try to sing him to sleep. It just did not make him relaxed at all. But he was also my kiddo who fought going to sleep (with or without singing). That being said, it's great to improve your voice, but your baby probably thinks it's lovely just the way it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 The baby heard your voice before she was born. Trust me-it doesn't bother her now. It may in a few years, but not now. There have been multiple studies which show increased responsiveness from babies, even in-utero and with little teeny preemies, from their mother's voice vs even trained singers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Maybe try humming instead? Do all moms sing to their kids? I don't see it as a necessary part of my job, I guess... LOL! (Thankfully for my dc!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 The baby heard your voice before she was born. Trust me-it doesn't bother her now. It may in a few years, but not now. There have been multiple studies which show increased responsiveness from babies, even in-utero and with little teeny preemies, from their mother's voice vs even trained singers. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 Thank you everybody for your advices or commiseration. If you are having problems getting through the notes, you might not be breathing fully. Lie down and relax, then put your hand on your belly. You should feel it rising and falling, as your diaphragm initiates each breath. Now stand up and try to breathe from your belly - the rest of your lungs should follow and this will give you more capacity. Make sure that you are standing or sitting straight, so that your lungs are not compressed, when you sing to your baby. You want your lungs to be able to expand. I'm not a trained singer, but I sing in a choir. Laura Brilliant advice. Thank you! You have a point with breathing - it usually comes down to me not having enough air, but I don't know how to control the air consumption while I sing. Maybe I'm just singing too hard parts which are harder to break down into smaller pieces? I don't know. I'll try letting more air in, I don't breathe very well (in general, I tend to breathe too "superficially", not as deep as I should). I got kicked out of choir in the 3rd grade. [...]No ideas, but commiseration. :grouphug: The baby heard your voice before she was born. Trust me-it doesn't bother her now. It may in a few years, but not now. There have been multiple studies which show increased responsiveness from babies, even in-utero and with little teeny preemies, from their mother's voice vs even trained singers. I'm "dramatizing" a little ;), I don't really think I'm actually scaring her, but I do wish my voice were smoother and more stable so I can sing nicely to her, without my voice trembling and getting broken all the time. She usually doesn't complain, though I stopped singing some "higher" (and beautiful... :( I wish I sang those too) parts. I like to think she likes it, but I don't know, I'd like it to be better if I can make it better. Maybe try humming instead? Do all moms sing to their kids? I don't see it as a necessary part of my job, I guess... LOL! (Thankfully for my dc!) I tried humming too - but I always end up singing. I doubt all mothers sing to their children, but I have such fond memories from my childhood and such emotional connection to many beautiful songs and arias because my mother (and father too :tongue_smilie:) sang them to me when I was a young child, that I really really wanted my children to grow up with them too. It's not that I'm obsessed with the idea it should be "perfect" - I don't pretend I can ever sing many of those stuff like opera singers can - but I just wish my voice didn't tremble so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 I doubt all mothers sing to their children, but I have such fond memories from my childhood and such emotional connection to many beautiful songs and arias because my mother (and father too ) sang them to me when I was a young child, that I really really wanted my children to grow up with them too. It's not that I'm obsessed with the idea it should be "perfect" - I don't pretend I can ever sing many of those stuff like opera singers can - but I just wish my voice didn't tremble so much. Ester Maria, whether or not you improve your voice, I am certain that what your daughter will remember is that you loved her and loved the music you shared with her--and that will be what SHE remembers when she in turn sings to her own children. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 On this made-for-tv movie I saw once, on the life of Madonna, I remember her agent told her to stick to a vegan diet and drink only warm tea with lemon. Look where it got her? :) Seriously, your voice is just like any muscle that needs practice to get back into shape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 If you are trying to sooth baby, try humming instead. My 4yo will still put his cheek up to mine to hear me hum when he's needs some soothing. For singing, sit up tall...slouching will make it impossible to get a decent breath, and no breath=screeching. Pick songs in a smaller range, lower range. Listen to some other singers and emulate them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Giraffe Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I can't carry a tune in a bucket. DH is worse. DH has actually had children ask him to please stop singing. I've been told I skip keys, sound terrible, and "You really can't sing, can you?!" - in a drunken holler in the middle of a Christmas caroling party. We both sing to DD and she LOVES it. She asks her daddy to please sing - he sings her Turkish songs from his childhood that I can't sing because I don't know them. Your baby loves your voice. As coarse and trembling as it may be to you, it's her mommy's voice and that is simply perfect to her. Like a PP said - she's been listening to it for months already and is familiar with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 My kids ask me to stop singing too, lol. So I only sing fun silly songs that make them laugh, regardless how badly they are sung. ;) eta: become a fascinating storyteller too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 My DH is a wonderful singer, but when our DD was a baby it seemed to upset her when he sang. She grew out of it. I think the Happiest Baby on the Block books say you should "shhhhush" since that mimics the sounds in the womb. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 I am a horrible singer, really. I can't carry a tune at all, I have difficulty hearing if someone is one key, and I can barely hear or keep a beat. So I'm not musical. My DS still likes it when I sing. When he was a baby he would sometimes stay awake and stare at me when I sang to him, but I don't think I was scaring him or turning him into the next Simon Cowell. He just liked mama's voice. He still finds it soothing or fun when I sing, depending on the context. Regretfully, I can not give you any tips to make it sound better. I loved to sing as a child and once asked a music teacher how I could improve my voice. She said, "Well....if you didn't sing, that would be an improvement." :lol: I bet your DD loves your voice! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 How does one work on that? Practice. It is all in the breathing. If you are serious about improving your voice, start by doing some simple daily exercises - I can recommend Giuseppe Concone's 30 Daily Exercises. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 When I had a thyroid :glare: and it was growing abnormally, my voice did this. If your voice is still doing strange things, then please get your thyroid checked. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I think I might be scaring the baby when I sing to her to make her fall asleep. :blush: I'm sorry, I can't help. My family encourages me to try out for American Idol... :glare: Because they think I'd make the show where they play the absolute worst contestants. Funny, aren't they? :001_huh: I bet your DD loves your voice! Yes. And even if they don't, perhaps they'll have fond memories of the specific songs you sing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Mine is like that when I am not singing regularly. Even when I am singing regularly, it starts out like that. After 1/2 an hour or an hour, it warms up and smooths out and gets stronger. Do you spend much time in the car? That makes a good place to practise and it is rather noisy so I don't mind listening to myself until my voice is warmed up. If you are holding the baby when you sing, you may be hunched over. That will stop you from being able to take a deep breath, enough to sustain the notes. For me, it also is a matter of knowing the song well. I have to know when in the song to breathe, and I have to sing the song while paying attention to hitting each note at pitch and then staying on pitch and strong the full length of the note. Some of the waveriness might be you landing a bit off and then correcting, or sagging as you run out of breath and correcting. I'm not trained and I don't have to sing in public very often, but when I do, I take care to sing for an hour every day for a few weeks beforehand and I take care to change the song from rough to better by consciously practising it extra slowly, paying attention to hitting and sustaining the notes. The other thing to consider is that voices tend to develop more virbrato (sp?) as the person gets older. At least, the voices in my mostly untrained family have. nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest khorlith Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I think I might be scaring the baby when I sing to her to make her fall asleep. :blush: I feel your pain. My wife is tone deaf, can't hold a beat and has a voice than can shatter a windshield. I'm really glad she's got the kids taking lessons from someone who can sing. For a while, the kids were starting to sound like her... and I'm running out of drinking glasses. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I feel your pain. My wife is tone deaf, can't hold a beat and has a voice than can shatter a windshield. I'm really glad she's got the kids taking lessons from someone who can sing. For a while, the kids were starting to sound like her... and I'm running out of drinking glasses. :lol: Please excuse me when I go #()$*#)*!^ my hubby. (Notice I did not say dh - he isn't a dear husband right now). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I would keep singing or try reciting metered poetry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 My mother hated her singing voice. I don't remember what it sounded like so I don't know if it was really bad or not. :001_smile: She used to recite poetry to my sister and me. I don't remember it as a baby, but when we were older she would recite to us when we were sick. I remember hearing about gunga din, the light brigade and the cremation of sam mcgee while she sat on my bedside and stroked my hair. (happy memories). It was soothed and rythmic and gave me a love for epic adventure poetry. I'm sure you and the little one will find something just right for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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