Update: I'm scared ;(

[simka2]

First off, thanks all for allowing me a place to proccess these feelings a bit. And for all your support. I'm definately not trying to be needy or annoying, but where else am going to anonymously talk about what's going on? ;)

 

Things are moving forward with our job change, but it's complicated and scary. Dh's CEO was called by company lawyers to make sure he was aware that another firm was scouting dh. He called dh, to make him aware, and talk to him about the oppurtunity. He won't advise employee's on what to do, but he is not fond of the company dh is going to. We respect and like dh's current employer, but that's not going to feed us come next summer.

 

One of the things brought up was that "people lie" they can tell you a position is for a year and your done in 6months. This just makes me a bit nervous. It looks like the job dh is going to do has enough work for 2 or 3 years, but I'm scared to make a mistake. On the other hand, this is the exact type of position he has been waiting for!

 

Anyway, I'm just processing and I appreciate anyone who has read this far and is staying appraised of our situation. I'm sure we sound young, and we are...especially in this career field. So it all adds up to being a bit nerve racking!!!!

 

What if we move and this project dissolves? What if we end up in a worse situation than we are in already? Ugggggghhhh.... Then again, what if this is the right time to make this change?

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: I hope it works out better than expected.

[Carol in Cal.]

Almost no jobs are forever anymore. And that is a scary change.

 

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't your DH going to lose his current job regardless? In that case, taking the new one but continuing to scout other opportunities is just the ticket.

 

He would be wise to seek out others who work or have worked for his new company to find out what the corporate culture is like.

 

My experience is that most jobs last longer, rather than shorter, than projected. That's not always true, but I think that it's true most of the time.

 

Pray for peace and work for financial stability so that you're not as dependent on these decisions.

[GWOB]

:grouphug: I hate making grown-up decisions. Life was so much easier when your biggest decisions revolved around what snack to have.

[simka2]

:grouphug: I hate making grown-up decisions. Life was so much easier when your biggest decisions revolved around what snack to have.

 

 

:iagree:This was so sweet!!! brought tears to my stressed out eyes!!! I needed some comic relife.

[simka2]

Almost no jobs are forever anymore. And that is a scary change.

 

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't your DH going to lose his current job regardless? In that case, taking the new one but continuing to scout other opportunities is just the ticket.

 

He would be wise to seek out others who work or have worked for his new company to find out what the corporate culture is like.

 

My experience is that most jobs last longer, rather than shorter, than projected. That's not always true, but I think that it's true most of the time.

 

Pray for peace and work for financial stability so that you're not as dependent on these decisions.

 

Yes, originally it was slotted to end in Dec. which is why we were looking. We only found out about it continueing till June, when dh was offered this other position.

 

I think it is going to be the right thing for us, but it's the dreaded "C" word...CHANGE! :tongue_smilie:

[tex-mex]

:grouphug: I hope it works out better than expected.

:iagree::grouphug::grouphug: I do too!

[HistoryMom]

:grouphug:

 

Even if the job might not last as long as you'd like, could you treat it as a temporary assignment? People move for temporary contract work all the time. How would you plan for a 6-month assignment? Rent, rather than buy? Sell or store some belongings? Keep looking for that next assignment? Then if it does settle into a longer-term assignment, you're ahead of the game!

 

Best of luck!

[Gooblink]

First off, thanks all for allowing me a place to proccess these feelings a bit. And for all your support. I'm definately not trying to be needy or annoying, but where else am going to anonymously talk about what's going on? ;)

:grouphug:

 

Things are moving forward with our job change, but it's complicated and scary. Dh's CEO was called by company lawyers to make sure he was aware that another firm was scouting dh. He called dh, to make him aware, and talk to him about the oppurtunity. He won't advise employee's on what to do, but he is not fond of the company dh is going to. We respect and like dh's current employer, but that's not going to feed us come next summer.

 

One of the things brought up was that "people lie" they can tell you a position is for a year and your done in 6months. This just makes me a bit nervous. It looks like the job dh is going to do has enough work for 2 or 3 years, but I'm scared to make a mistake. On the other hand, this is the exact type of position he has been waiting for!

 

It may not be so much that people lie, as that they cannot predict the future and, when recruiting, will often position prospects in the best light.

 

Why is dh's CEO not fond of new company? If he's aware of serious integrity issues, and you really feel that the new company might be "lying," then I'd stay put and trust God will work all things for your good. If current CEO has personality, or unqualifiable differences with the other, then I'd not put much weight on his opinion and do what you need to do.

 

 

Anyway, I'm just processing and I appreciate anyone who has read this far and is staying appraised of our situation. I'm sure we sound young, and we are...especially in this career field. So it all adds up to being a bit nerve racking!!!!

 

What if we move and this project dissolves? What if we end up in a worse situation than we are in already? Ugggggghhhh.... Then again, what if this is the right time to make this change?

 

The good news is - you are young. Making a move may prove to be the wrong choice, but you'll learn from it, grow from it and move on to something better for it. On the other hand, it could be the best thing your family has ever done!

 

Helpful, eh? You have weigh the things important to you and make an intelligent, not emotional or fearful, decision based on those. Don't get too worked up over making a mistake. Job changes - even cross-country moves - don't have to be permanent or cause so much stress.

[Carol in Cal.]

Yes, originally it was slotted to end in Dec. which is why we were looking. We only found out about it continueing till June, when dh was offered this other position.

 

I think it is going to be the right thing for us, but it's the dreaded "C" word...CHANGE! :tongue_smilie:

 

Yes, change is unpleasant, for sure! And it also seems to be the only verity these days--it's coming faster all the time. I don't like it, but it seems to be the way that the modern job market works.

 

That's why it's important to always be looking for another job.

[BeckyFL]

We read a great devotional last night and I though it summed up what life seems to be. It's full of storms (and waves) and calms. When it all comes down to it, it's part of learning to trust God and let him help us through every situation. Life is very brief. Each problem, test and trial perfects us and strengthens us and perfects us, molding and shaping us so that we come through refined as gold. Through the years, I've come to see that in all of the problems, He is always faithful. Have I learned to be free of worry, doubt and fear? No! I could be posting next week in need of encouragement! But I think I've made progress. Trust Him, pray for wisdom, pray for direction and then rely on Him. He has great plans for you! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/devotions/patch_surfing.aspx

[elegantlion]

I agree that most jobs don't hold the stability they once did. Another question I would consider. Will you be in a better location to find jobs in his industry when you move, should this one end sooner?

 

Is there something specific that his boss knows but maybe can't share? I would want to have some more information on this new company. Do you get the idea that he knows more than he's letting on, or is this typical corporate play? honestly, I'd be googling everything I could on the company, including trying to find disgruntled employees.

 

Moving is a big pain. Moving that far is a big pain. Is the company paying to move you? Is this an area you would want to live in by choice? What are you leaving behind by moving?

 

You don't have to answer those questions here, those are ones I would ask myself.

 

Your dh is a wise man. I'm sure together you two will make the right decision for your family, whichever direction that takes you.

[Impish]

All I can say is to pray about it. And big :grouphug:

[simka2]

You guys have been wonderful! I'm starting to feel a bit better.

 

I realize that dh's ceo's issues with the other company are that of a competitor and personal offense.

 

I appreciate the encouragement!

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

If the new area has more job opportunities, then I would definitely go for it:) It does not surprise me if the current company is bad mouthing the new company. It does not mean it is necessarily true about the new company. Unfortunately many companies have no sense of loyalty anymore and do not hesitate to get rid of an employee as soon as it does not meet their needs IMHO. It used to be somewhat different IMO:(.

[Mama Geek]

I pm'd you.

[scrappyhappymama]

I agree that most jobs don't hold the stability they once did. Another question I would consider. Will you be in a better location to find jobs in his industry when you move, should this one end sooner?

 

Is there something specific that his boss knows but maybe can't share? I would want to have some more information on this new company. Do you get the idea that he knows more than he's letting on, or is this typical corporate play? honestly, I'd be googling everything I could on the company, including trying to find disgruntled employees.

 

Moving is a big pain. Moving that far is a big pain. Is the company paying to move you? Is this an area you would want to live in by choice? What are you leaving behind by moving?

 

You don't have to answer those questions here, those are ones I would ask myself.

 

Your dh is a wise man. I'm sure together you two will make the right decision for your family, whichever direction that takes you.

 

The bolded above are two factors that would weigh heavily for me. I think I remember you mentioning in an earlier thread that the area you'd be moving to would offer your DH more job opportunities in the future, whenever this job ends. If so, I'd be more inclined to make the move for the potential long term benefits. Either way, a job is going to end in the next 6 months - 2 years, right? So where will you be better positioned to move forward afterwards.

 

Also, I'd seriously consider whether the place you'll be moving to is somewhere you want to live for a while. In other words, if all the job stuff works out well, is this a place you want to live for years to come? If not, then it may not be worth making the move, or looking at it as a temporary assignment instead.

 

:grouphug: We've been through a lot of these decisions in the last two years and I know how stressful and conflicting it can be!!

[simka2]

The bolded above are two factors that would weigh heavily for me. I think I remember you mentioning in an earlier thread that the area you'd be moving to would offer your DH more job opportunities in the future, whenever this job ends. If so, I'd be more inclined to make the move for the potential long term benefits. Either way, a job is going to end in the next 6 months - 2 years, right? So where will you be better positioned to move forward afterwards.

 

Also, I'd seriously consider whether the place you'll be moving to is somewhere you want to live for a while. In other words, if all the job stuff works out well, is this a place you want to live for years to come? If not, then it may not be worth making the move, or looking at it as a temporary assignment instead.

 

:grouphug: We've been through a lot of these decisions in the last two years and I know how stressful and conflicting it can be!!

 

We would be moving to a place with great oppurtunities! It's not my "favorite" part of the country, but it's not the worst place in the world. I'm pretty versatile ;)

Edited October 28, 2010 by simka2

[MariannNOVA]

We would be moving for a place with great oppurtunities! It's not my "favorite" part of the country, but it's not the worst place in the world. I'm pretty versatile ;)

 

I've skimmed the other responses and have to say you have been given excellent direction here.

 

We had a DH employment catastrophe about 4 years ago -- it was disastrous. It has taken those 4 years and will probably take another 6 months or so for us to be able to 'put it behind us.'

 

At any rate, in those 4 years, dh has interviewed and accepted and declined numerous offers - we have learned that it is pretty much impossible for some individuals to put aside their personal feelings about others even when it comes to business -- I could tell you a story that would curl your hair -- but you already have enough of that to deal with, so I won't.

 

What we have learned is to pray through all of this, listen for the Lord's direction, He gave us discernment and instincts - use them, ask for His direction for the long term and short term, wait on His peace, rest and wait in the confidence that He has a plan for you and waiting quietly in Him will show you what that plan is. And, please know, I am SO not being preachy here.:grouphug:

 

And, you can PM me.......what you highlighted in blue, I have to laugh and say that geographical location could SO be Washington, DC. So many folks are ambivalent about coming here.:D THAT being said, it is an incredibly, incredibly homeschool friendly place.

[justamouse]

((((hugs))))

 

BTDT. You can only made decisions on what you can see, and if this is the answer that you've been praying for, keep walking. Things may get harder, but it also may position him in ways that staying can't. Meaning--you don't know. You know nothing and you're making the best decision with the information you have. Jumping off the cliff is horrifying BUT it can be the best thing that ever happens to you. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

we did this a few times, and God was strong for us. We felt like we were walking on water, no safety nets, no nothing, but it was all worth it. That said, I came to some of these decision kicking and screaming, but I knew that they were God's answer and I sucked it up, fear and all, and jumped.

Edited October 28, 2010 by justamouse

[simka2]

((((hugs))))

 

BTDT. You can only made decisions on what you can see, and if this is the answer that you've been praying for, keep walking. Things may get harder, but it also may position him in ways that staying can't. Meaning--you don't know. You know nothing and you're making the best decision with the information you have. Jumping off the cliff is horrifying BUT it can be the best thing that ever happens to you. :grouphug::grouphug:

 

we did this a few times, and God was strong for us. We felt like we were walking on water, no safety nets, no nothing, but it was all worth it. That said, I came to some of these decision kicking and screaming, but I knew that they were God's answer and I sucked it up, fear and all, and jumped.

 

You have put this so well! and it's exactly how I have been feeling. Poor dh, I'm calming down...and he's beginning to stress a bit. Just facing the relocateing, resignation of both his job here and our pastoral position...and starting something new.

 

Thanks all! and please keep him inyour thoughts...to bad he doesn't have a hive to go too!

[Mejane]

Risk is always scary. My husband was afraid to make a move in his career, but he did it because we wanted to move back up north. The job he took lasted only a year. His next job lasted two years. The job he has now has lasted ten years. The point is, he wouldn't have this job had he not taken that first one. He's making five times what he was making when he made that first jump. Five times. So for us, the risk was definitely worth it. All you can do is make the best decision with the information you have available. I hope it works out for you.

[JoyfulMama]

The last few years have given us multiple opportunities to either keep still or jump to another adventure. Yes, adventure. We moved from PA to NE for a great new adventure. It wasn't exactly the adventure that was promised, but we kept an adventurous spirit. (Anything less would have made things very difficult.) So dh had to look for work, again. And we were off again on a new adventure! We ended up back in PA. It would have been a WHOLE lot easier and cheaper to move the 2 hours to where we are now, than to move 2200 miles to get here, but then we would have missed the adventures - both the good and not-so-good.

 

Through it all there was a sense of dread from dh's family - that the adventure was really just a code word for torture. It hurt them to see us move, and it was painful to see their son's wings spreading, taking him to unknown places (and dangers).

 

I am proud of my dh for being willing to take a chance, to spread his wings, and fly, even if not fully gracefully. I am glad our children had the opportunity to see him try, to fly. And when things went downhill, we started again, supporting eachother, and trying again.

 

If dh had not taken the first jump, he most likely would have lost his job due to lay-offs anyway. We didn't know that at the time. It's amazing the paths that lay before us, and the decisions we have to make.

 

Good luck with your decisions... keep an adventurous spirit, whichever way you jump.

[holdoll]

What if we move and this project dissolves? What if we end up in a worse situation than we are in already? Ugggggghhhh.... Then again, what if this is the right time to make this change?

 

I hate change. I like to get up in the morning and look at what's planned for the day and check it off as I go. However, that is not how the last two years have gone.

 

DH was laid off from 2 different companies in 2008. Why do they hire employees just to lay a bunch of them off the following month? It doesn't make sense to me. After going through that, DH found a "permanent" job in August '08 across the country. He went ahead of us and we sold everything we owned just to raise the money to move and met him in October. The only things we kept were clothing, beds for the kids, their dressers and a few kitchen items. The company laid off all but 3 employees by December. DH found a contract job by Feb. 09. That lasted until Sept. 09. He found a new job in Nov. 09 and is coming up on his 1 year anniversary there. Not good money but enough to live on and definitely a solid company.

 

I tell you all this because as awful as a lot of that time was, we knew that no matter what we had each other. Our marriage is stronger and our kids know that we will always be there for them. G-d is faithful and took care of us, just like he will take care of you. You can do this Simka.

[simka2]

I hate change. I like to get up in the morning and look at what's planned for the day and check it off as I go. However, that is not how the last two years have gone.

 

DH was laid off from 2 different companies in 2008. Why do they hire employees just to lay a bunch of them off the following month? It doesn't make sense to me. After going through that, DH found a "permanent" job in August '08 across the country. He went ahead of us and we sold everything we owned just to raise the money to move and met him in October. The only things we kept were clothing, beds for the kids, their dressers and a few kitchen items. The company laid off all but 3 employees by December. DH found a contract job by Feb. 09. That lasted until Sept. 09. He found a new job in Nov. 09 and is coming up on his 1 year anniversary there. Not good money but enough to live on and definitely a solid company.

 

I tell you all this because as awful as a lot of that time was, we knew that no matter what we had each other. Our marriage is stronger and our kids know that we will always be there for them. G-d is faithful and took care of us, just like he will take care of you. You can do this Simka.

 

Thank you! I know we will be okay. Plus, we are just so grateful for the oppurtunity to even be before us.

 

Dh is going to start making his phone calls here shortly. First to his boss (he's still got to get him to sign a release) and then to the new company.

 

Does anyone know with contract positions if it is still customary to give the 2 weeks notice? I know the new position wanted him there yesterday...We want to do what right and the 2 weeks would be great, but were not sure.

[Mama Geek]

Thank you! I know we will be okay. Plus, we are just so grateful for the oppurtunity to even be before us.

 

Dh is going to start making his phone calls here shortly. First to his boss (he's still got to get him to sign a release) and then to the new company.

 

Does anyone know with contract positions if it is still customary to give the 2 weeks notice? I know the new position wanted him there yesterday...We want to do what right and the 2 weeks would be great, but were not sure.

 

If at all possible I would give some notice. It's the whole not wanting to burn bridges. There is some chance that they will say go ahead a leave before then anyway.

[Mama Geek]

 

Through it all there was a sense of dread from dh's family - that the adventure was really just a code word for torture. It hurt them to see us move, and it was painful to see their son's wings spreading, taking him to unknown places (and dangers).

 

 

 

Some of our family is very much like this. We can be absolutely thrilled with a great job opportunity, but if it isn't just exactly what they think is best, they have a hard time being happy for us.

[Audrey]

but it's the dreaded "C" word...CHANGE! :tongue_smilie:

 

 

Change, in and of itself, is neither bad nor good. It is simply different.

 

My grandmother always said that. It got her through a lot of big changes. It's got me through them, too. :grouphug:

[nono]

Did he get a job offer in writing from the new place? If not, he could ask for one.

 

I'd only be concerned about moving on if the newer place refuses to put anything in writing.

 

Good luck with all the upheaval!

 

 

P.S. New Jersey isn't that bad! :tongue_smilie: