I feel a need to say this. Pleas take it in the spirit it was written.

[Parrothead]

Yesterday I got a kick in the teeth. Various PMs have been passed around and while it isn't better it will be. For both parties.

 

I think it has been said in the past, but it bears repeating.

 

We are a support group for parents, yes, mostly moms, of homeschoolers. But our communication is done via message board. There is no tone. Smilies help but even they can, at times, be misinterpreted.

 

And while we are mostly homeschooling moms and dads some of us send our kids to public or private school. This does not make them bad parents making uninformed choices.

 

Along that same line of thinking parents make choices that are best for them and their families. It may not necessarily be what you would do. It just means you made a different choice.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to breast feed. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses not to.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to send her kids to public or private school. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to homeschool.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses whole food options for her familiy. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses Ding-dongs for breakfast and a box of store brand mac and cheese for dinner.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses the spanking option for disciplining her kid. A parent is not a bad or lax or indulgent parent of brats because she chooses to ignore the behavior that would drive you nuts.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she only has one kid. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to have three kids. A parent is not a bad parent if she chooses to have one kid every year during her child bearing years.

 

A parent is not a bad parent if she has a child out of wedlock.

 

I could go on, and each and every one of you that choose to read this far knows that. Adoption? Religion? Politics? Working? Childcare?

 

 

 

We are a support group message board of many diverse cultures and backgrounds. Let's realize that. Let's try to do our d@mnest to support each other. Let's do our part to end the mommy wars.

 

P.S. I know I've been guilty in the past of thinking some of the very things I'm talking about. Being here and reading about so many different approaches to parenting has helped me start thinking differently.

 

 

P.S. Thank you Susan, and moderators for continuing to put up with our crap time and time again.

[littlebug42]

Yesterday I got a kick in the teeth. Various PMs have been passed around and while it isn't better it will be. For both parties.

 

I think it has been said in the past, but it bears repeating.

 

We are a support group for parents, yes, mostly moms, of homeschoolers. But our communication is done via message board. There is no tone. Smilies help but even they can, at times, be misinterpreted.

 

And while we are mostly homeschooling moms and dads some of us send our kids to public or private school. This does not make them bad parents making uninformed choices.

 

Along that same line of thinking parents make choices that are best for them and their families. It may not necessarily be what you would do. It just means you made a different choice.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to breast feed. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses not to.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to send her kids to public or private school. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to homeschool.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses whole food options for her familiy. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses Ding-dongs for breakfast and a box of store brand mac and cheese for dinner.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses the spanking option for disciplining her kid. A parent is not a bad or lax or indulgent parent of brats because she chooses to ignore the behavior that would drive you nuts.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she only has one kid. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to have three kids. A parent is not a bad parent if she chooses to have one kid every year during her child bearing years.

 

A parent is not a bad parent if she has a child out of wedlock.

 

I could go on, and each and every one of you that choose to read this far knows that. Adoption? Religion? Politics? Working? Childcare?

 

 

 

We are a support group message board of many diverse cultures and backgrounds. Let's realize that. Let's try to do our d@mnest to support each other. Let's do our part to end the mommy wars.

 

P.S. I know I've been guilty in the past of thinking some of the very things I'm talking about. Being here and reading about so many different approaches to parenting has helped me start thinking differently.

 

 

P.S. Thank you Susan, and moderators for continuing to put up with our crap time and time again.

 

I think I love you. :hurray:

[Journey]

Thank you so much for writing this. I've been a member for a little while and I used to homeschool. My youngest and only one in school now goes to public school at her choice. There are some great things about public school and there are so awful things about it. Same (for my family) went for homeschooling. I have made several friends on this board and do only keep in touch with them through this board but having said that, there have been several times when I've feared posting because of the responses I knew I'd get. I will admit that I have come on here at times blazing mad and my posts stating my anger were obvious. But I keep coming back and what I've learned is who I need to ignore and who I want to get to know or to keep the friendships going.

 

Thanks for starting this thread though!

[BMW]

Aw, shucks! Jenni beat me to it... the first thing I thought when I read this was "I love you!"

 

Blessings to you this day!

[fairfarmhand]

P.S. I know I've been guilty in the past of thinking some of the very things I'm talking about. Being here and reading about so many different approaches to parenting has helped me start thinking differently.

 

 

 

I've had my horizons broadened by this board as well. While I may not agree with everything you or another poster may post I always try to be respectful. And sometimes it is best to let things go. I don't always have to have the last word!!!!

[LG Gone Wild]

OP: sorry you got hurt yesterday. I can't imagine you posting anything that would inspire someone to be unpleasant.

[Mrs Mungo]

Nice post. :) <--completely nice, innocuous smiley.

[BigMamaBird]

:grouphug:Thank you for that kindly worded reminder. :grouphug:

[Gooblink]

Thanks for the reminder. I'm sorry you were hurt, though.

 

I'm a big fan of Mr. Smiley. :)

[Parrothead]

OP: sorry you got hurt yesterday. I can't imagine you posting anything that would inspire someone to be unpleasant.

You are so sweet.

 

But yes it happened. I was truly gobsmacked about something. When I gave my take on it and asked for explanations it was taken the wrong way. That lead to a mom posting something that blindsided me.

 

Like I said. We've discussed it privately. And while both of us are hurting we know neither of us meant to cause the other pain. It will be better with time.

[Parrothead]

Nice post. :) <--completely nice, innocuous smiley.

You are such a smartie pants, aren't you. :D

[StaceyinLA]

I, too, have found that I have become more open-minded about a lot of things since reading these boards over the years, and even though I certainly still have strong opinions on some things, I think I have become more tolerant and accepting of other people's choices because of this diverse group of ladies (and men).

[Jen in PA]

:grouphug: and thanks for the reminder.

[MelanieM]

Yes, nice post. :grouphug: And perhaps it would be worth adding that no one can make us feel like a bad parent without our permission. We all make choices that work best for us, and whether or not anyone else agrees with that choice should not be relevant to the validity of our decision making process. People judge us all the time. That's not what hurts, really... rather, it's us judging ourselves by some outside set of standards (or our perception of those standards). And that, we have full control over.

 

Love and hugs and good vibes for all, just because we all inherently deserve it, and not because of anything we do or don't do. :grouphug: :)

[PinkInTheBlue]

Thank you for posting the exact post I often want to make. How many times have I typed it only to think it just won't matter. :) I was wrong. Your message is right-on true.

[MariannNOVA]

You are so sweet.

 

But yes it happened. I was truly gobsmacked about something. When I gave my take on it and asked for explanations it was taken the wrong way. That lead to a mom posting something that blindsided me.

 

Like I said. We've discussed it privately. And while both of us are hurting we know neither of us meant to cause the other pain. It will be better with time.

 

I hate when that happens -- I'm sorry it happened to you. And thanks for what you posted here.:) <-----------He and Mrs. Mungo's are cut from the same cloth. ;)

[dancer67]

:grouphug: Thank you for the reminder and this wonderful post. I really enjoy being here and have learned a great deal from everyone. Your words are a good reminder that all of us are different, and there is no right or wrong way of doing anything.:grouphug:

[Parrothead]

Yes, nice post. :grouphug: And perhaps it would be worth adding that no one can make us feel like a bad parent without our permission. We all make choices that work best for us, and whether or not anyone else agrees with that choice should not be relevant to the validity of our decision making process. People judge us all the time. That's not what hurts, really... rather, it's us judging ourselves by some outside set of standards (or our perception of those standards). And that, we have full control over.

 

Love and hugs and good vibes for all, just because we all inherently deserve it, and not because of anything we do or don't do. :grouphug: :)

I don't think it has an awful lot to do with judging others. What I'm getting at is the comments about the judging that go something like, "Have you lost your mind? Do you know what _____ will do to your children? If you continue down that road your kids will turn out wrong"

 

Pick your issue to fill in the blank.

[Mrs Mungo]

I don't think it has an awful lot to do with judging others. What I'm getting at is the comments about the judging that go something like, "Have you lost your mind? Do you know what _____ will do to your children? If you continue down that road your kids will turn out wrong"

 

Pick your issue to fill in the blank.

 

What is amazing is that MOST people turn out pretty okay (we all have our issues), even with the CRAPPIEST of parents. I tend to believe people who post here are doing their best. I don't always agree, but there are very few things you could do that would make me think "OMG, you are ruining their lives!!"

[Saille]

OP: sorry you got hurt yesterday. I can't imagine you posting anything that would inspire someone to be unpleasant.

 

It was me. I had a strong reaction to Parrothead's posts, and managed to say something that sounded like a referendum on Ph's right to comment when what I meant was, "Look at it like this..." We both managed to kick each other pretty good without ever intending to at all.

 

Parrothead's willingness to talk with me about it is enormously helpful. Hurrah for conflict resolution and mango chili Jelly Bellies!

[Parrothead]

I hate when that happens -- I'm sorry it happened to you.

And just to be clear. I'm not the only one it happened to. The other mom was just as blindsided as me. I'm at fault at least 50%.

 

So :grouphug: to the other mom. She was hurt, too. I'll leave it up to her if she wants to publicly jump in.

[ElizabethB]

What is amazing is that MOST people turn out pretty okay (we all have our issues), even with the CRAPPIEST of parents. I tend to believe people who post here are doing their best. I don't always agree, but there are very few things you could do that would make me think "OMG, you are ruining their lives!!"

 

Except shopping carts, shoes, and crock pots, of course. These are life and death issues.

[Parrothead]

It was me. I had a strong reaction to Parrothead's posts, and managed to say something that sounded like a referendum on Ph's right to comment when what I meant was, "Look at it like this..." We both managed to kick each other pretty good without ever intending to at all.

 

Parrothead's willingness to talk with me about it is enormously helpful. Hurrah for conflict resolution and mango chili Jelly Bellies!

Ha, we posted at the same time. Did you get my last pm? Do you trust me not to poison them. :lol:

[Mrs Mungo]

Except shopping carts, shoes, and crock pots, of course. These are life and death issues.

 

Hey, crockpots are a life and death issue for me. We'd starve without it some days! Or get fast food, thereby eventually killing ourselves (JUST KIDDING, I AM NOT THE FOOD POLICE, SEE MY PRINGLES POST!).

[MariannNOVA]

And just to be clear. I'm not the only one it happened to. The other mom was just as blindsided as me. I'm at fault at least 50%.

 

So :grouphug: to the other mom. She was hurt, too. I'll leave it up to her if she wants to publicly jump in.

 

Thanks for pointing that out --:) (There he is again - :001_rolleyes:)

 

I will re-phrase -- I don't like when it happens to anyone.....being blindsided is no fun.:001_smile:

 

I particularly appreciated your post here today as my 6th grade dd is working on her application to private school for 7th grade. I've not shared that here b/c it's a decision reached with an enormous amount of prayer, discussion and consideration among the three of us (dh, dd, and me) and I didn't feel the need to share. I will continue to homeschool the twins probably until they are ready for 7th grade as well. The points you made in your OP were good ones. PS: The extreme moose tracks ice cream in the freezer is mine!:toetap05:

[ElizabethB]

Hey, crockpots are a life and death issue for me. We'd starve without it some days! Or get fast food, thereby eventually killing ourselves (JUST KIDDING, I AM NOT THE FOOD POLICE, SEE MY PRINGLES POST!).

 

You allow your kids to eat Pringles? Now, that will ruin them for life. Even worse than Spaghetti-Os, which my children ate far too regularly when my husband was deployed.

[Unicorn.]

Y

 

We are a support group message board of many diverse cultures and backgrounds. Let's realize that. Let's try to do our d@mnest to support each other. Let's do our part to end the mommy wars.

 

.

 

:001_wub: Well said, Chucki!

[Parrothead]

You allow your kids to eat Pringles? Now, that will ruin them for life. Even worse than Spaghetti-Os, which my children ate far too regularly when my husband was deployed.

Curiosity has the best of me. I'm off to start a new post about the secret foods we allow our children. :D

[Denisemomof4]

this is excellent. Thank you. Yet again, I missed out on it all, but I guess that's a good thing. ;) I'm sorry you, and others, were hurt, and happy to hear that it's resolved.:001_smile:

[Mrs Mungo]

You allow your kids to eat Pringles? Now, that will ruin them for life. Even worse than Spaghetti-Os, which my children ate far too regularly when my husband was deployed.

 

I love spaghetti-Os, my children do not see the appeal. :lol:

[Saille]

Ha, we posted at the same time. Did you get my last pm? Do you trust me not to poison them. :lol:

 

Yes...because you like them, too! :D You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering which ones are the poisoned ones.

 

Maybe I do have some issues. My first reaction was, "Oh no, she should *keep* her Jelly Bellies. Those are special."

[Jen in PA]

I always figure that even if I have absolutely nothing else in common with another poster, we at least share the fact that we chose to hang out here rather than somewhere else online, and that "here" is pretty much about doing right by our kids and our families (and at times about Nutella, crockpots, and Mike's......:D). There certainly isn't a one-size-fits-all solution for any of that, so the boards are necessarily diverse in viewpoints, and I am grateful for that.

[Denisemomof4]

Thanks for pointing that out --:) (There he is again - :001_rolleyes:)

 

I will re-phrase -- I don't like when it happens to anyone.....being blindsided is no fun.:001_smile:

 

I particularly appreciated your post here today as my 6th grade dd is working on her application to private school for 7th grade. I've not shared that here b/c it's a decision reached with an enormous amount of prayer, discussion and consideration among the three of us (dh, dd, and me) and I didn't feel the need to share. I will continue to homeschool the twins probably until they are ready for 7th grade as well. The points you made in your OP were good ones. PS: The extreme moose tracks ice cream in the freezer is mine!:toetap05:

 

sending her kids to school AND keeping poison in the freezer. What's wrong with you???

:lol:

 

:seeya:

[Denisemomof4]

sending her kids to school AND keeping poison in the freezer. What's wrong with you???

:lol:

 

:seeya:

 

and I wanted this to be a separate post so I didn't give myself away. I just want to share that I also have kids in school AND I have peppermint ice cream in my freezer, with the pumpkin spice hidden. I will share the latter with the kids this weekend when we have pumpkin spice coffee. Isn't that awful? I'm going to allow my kids to have poison AND coffee.

 

(Miss you Mariann!):001_smile:(smilie face with all nice feelings behind it!)

[Parrothead]

Yes...because you like them, too! :D You don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering which ones are the poisoned ones.

 

Maybe I do have some issues. My first reaction was, "Oh no, she should *keep* her Jelly Bellies. Those are special."

Actually I'm out. My entire stash, everything - JBs, chocolate, and black Twizzlers - was devoured last night while I was working through my mad.

I have to go back to the candy store tomorrow. I figure since I'm out I could mail some to you. PM me if you do. And you know you do. I can hear you salivating every time I type Chili Mango Jelly Bellies.

Edited October 21, 2010 by Parrothead

[MariannNOVA]

sending her kids to school AND keeping poison in the freezer. What's wrong with you???

:lol:

 

:seeya:

 

Not.enough.bandwidth.to.answer.that.one. :lol::lol:

 

And for the cherry on the sundae: I have ribs cooking in the crock pot RIGHT NOW!:D

[Denisemomof4]

Actually I'm out. My entire stash, everything - JBs, chocolate, and black Twizzlers - was devoured last night while I was working through my mad.

I have to go back to the candy store tomorrow. I figure since I'm out I could mail some to you. PM me if you do. And you know you do. I can hear you salivating every time I type Chili Mango Jelly Bellies.

 

a girl (woman!) after my own heart! I know NOBODY who likes black licorice!!!:drool5: I want to try the chili mango jb's, too!

[MariannNOVA]

and I wanted this to be a separate post so I didn't give myself away. I just want to share that I also have kids in school AND I have peppermint ice cream in my freezer, with the pumpkin spice hidden. I will share the latter with the kids this weekend when we have pumpkin spice coffee. Isn't that awful? I'm going to allow my kids to have poison AND coffee.

 

(Miss you Mariann!):001_smile:(smilie face with all nice feelings behind it!)[/QUOTE]

 

Thank you, Denise. I was driving through Crystal City on Sunday and I thought of you!:grouphug:

[Denisemomof4]

Not.enough.bandwidth.to.answer.that.one. :lol::lol:

 

And for the cherry on the sundae: I have ribs cooking in the crock pot RIGHT NOW!:D

 

:svengo:

[Saille]

Actually I'm out. My entire stash, everything - JBs, chocolate, and black Twizzlers - was devoured last night while I was working through my mad.

I have to go back to the candy store tomorrow. I figure since I'm out I could mail some to you. PM me if you do. And you know you do. I can hear you salivating every time I type Chili Mango Jelly Bellies.

 

My mouth is zipped shut.

 

You are a sweetheart to offer, but you've got a whole stash to replace! I will buy my own. :lol:

[newlifemom]

a girl (woman!) after my own heart! I know NOBODY who likes black licorice!!!:drool5: I want to try the chili mango jb's, too!

 

Well now you know 2. :D

 

 

As if there were any other kind of licorice. Pshaw! :tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

:grouphug: very good post and reminder.

[mammaruss]

Thank you for posting the exact post I often want to make. How many times have I typed it only to think it just won't matter. :) I was wrong. Your message is right-on true.

 

:iagree:

I love the diversity on this board--I have learned so much from hearing numerous answers to a question that I think would only have 1 or 2 answers....and I find that there are sometimes more than 10 answers.:001_huh: This board has expanded my horizons and has taught me to think outside the box!:grouphug:

[mammaruss]

I always figure that even if I have absolutely nothing else in common with another poster, we at least share the fact that we chose to hang out here rather than somewhere else online, and that "here" is pretty much about doing right by our kids and our families (and at times about Nutella, crockpots, and Mike's......:D). There certainly isn't a one-size-fits-all solution for any of that, so the boards are necessarily diverse in viewpoints, and I am grateful for that.

AMEN!

[Parrothead]

My mouth is zipped shut.

 

You are a sweetheart to offer, but you've got a whole stash to replace! I will buy my own. :lol:

Okee-dookee.

[catalinakel]

Not.enough.bandwidth.to.answer.that.one. :lol::lol:

 

And for the cherry on the sundae: I have ribs cooking in the crock pot RIGHT NOW!:D

 

Don't forget the recipe rule.......ribs in the crockpot recipe, please.

[Parrothead]

Well now you know 2. :D

 

 

As if there were any other kind of licorice. Pshaw! :tongue_smilie:

Yeah, seriously what is up with that red stuff calling itself licorice. :lol:

[catalinakel]

Guess this is as good a time as any....I am no longer homeschooling, either(although I recognize that there are those who removed me from the homeschool category when I started using our Virtual Academy.....:glare::001_smile:. The kids are both at the really good middle school near us and are thriving. Really. No sex in the classrooms, no rainbow clubs...They wanted to go to school and I let them. And it was the right decision for us. But I still come here because I like it here, and I get lonely since my kids are at school, and I still need advice every now and then and love to give it when the topic pertains to my fifty years of experience. So there.

[DianeW88]

Yesterday I got a kick in the teeth. Various PMs have been passed around and while it isn't better it will be. For both parties.

 

I think it has been said in the past, but it bears repeating.

 

We are a support group for parents, yes, mostly moms, of homeschoolers. But our communication is done via message board. There is no tone. Smilies help but even they can, at times, be misinterpreted.

 

And while we are mostly homeschooling moms and dads some of us send our kids to public or private school. This does not make them bad parents making uninformed choices.

 

Along that same line of thinking parents make choices that are best for them and their families. It may not necessarily be what you would do. It just means you made a different choice.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to breast feed. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses not to.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to send her kids to public or private school. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to homeschool.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses whole food options for her familiy. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses Ding-dongs for breakfast and a box of store brand mac and cheese for dinner.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses the spanking option for disciplining her kid. A parent is not a bad or lax or indulgent parent of brats because she chooses to ignore the behavior that would drive you nuts.

 

A parent is not a bad parent because she only has one kid. A parent is not a bad parent because she chooses to have three kids. A parent is not a bad parent if she chooses to have one kid every year during her child bearing years.

 

A parent is not a bad parent if she has a child out of wedlock.

 

I could go on, and each and every one of you that choose to read this far knows that. Adoption? Religion? Politics? Working? Childcare?

 

 

 

We are a support group message board of many diverse cultures and backgrounds. Let's realize that. Let's try to do our d@mnest to support each other. Let's do our part to end the mommy wars.

 

P.S. I know I've been guilty in the past of thinking some of the very things I'm talking about. Being here and reading about so many different approaches to parenting has helped me start thinking differently.

 

 

P.S. Thank you Susan, and moderators for continuing to put up with our crap time and time again.

 

 

Amen!!

[MariannNOVA]

Don't forget the recipe rule.......ribs in the crockpot recipe, please.

 

I pre-cook the ribs by boiling them for about 10 minutes. Then go into the crock pot with a bottle of some kind of barbecue sauce (I think that today it is Ray's brown sugar and honey), a can of coke zero and into the pot they go -- depending on the time, 4, 6, 8, 10 hours -- they were finished cooking awhile ago - they are just simmering now in Ray's and Coke.:drool:

 

Guess this is as good a time as any....I am no longer homeschooling, either(although I recognize that there are those who removed me from the homeschool category when I started using our Virtual Academy.....:glare::001_smile:. The kids are both at the really good middle school near us and are thriving. Really. No sex in the classrooms, no rainbow clubs...They wanted to go to school and I let them. And it was the right decision for us. But I still come here because I like it here, and I get lonely since my kids are at school, and I still need advice every now and then and love to give it when the topic pertains to my fifty years of experience. So there.

:grouphug::grouphug: