NanceXToo Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 My oldest is 18; she'll be 19 in January. She's at a 2nd grade level educationally though, speech days, developmental delays and disabilities since birth, in a special needs school/life skills class and so on. She's never had a lot of social opportunities. She goes to a Special Olympics sports practice 2X a week over much of the school year after school, that's her main social life. She has an adult woman who takes her out for five hours once a week to work on skills and goals while doing social outings, sometimes with the woman's 14 y/o daughter along, too. She loves doing that. Once a month now that she's turned 18, she is in a social program where they pick her (and others like her) up once a month and take them out to an evening social event like a dance, movie, dinner, the mall, mini golf, bowling and so on- all supervised. Once in a while someone from school will come over but hardly ever. She's never really been invited to someone else's house. Ever. Well today out of the blue she came home from school beaming from ear to ear and saying that her friend is going to an amusement park tonight with her older (grown) sister and the sister's husband and 4 y/o son and they're going to take Melissa with them. It's about 45 minutes away. I was skeptical at first because she tends to say things like "my friend invited me to a concert! My friend's taking me on vacation!" but it's never really REAL, KWIM? But not two minutes later the phone rings, and it's her friend calling her. And the friend put the grown sister on the phone with me, and the sister said that yes she's taking her sister, and the sister wanted to bring a friend, and that it was fine with her, and she could pick my daughter up at 3:30 and have her home around 11:30 if it was okay with me. She'll be here any minute. Gulp. I'm a little nervous! I've never even met this person! Will she supervise as closely as I would? That kind of thing. But how can I deny my 18 y/o daughter this chance to do something fun with a friend... that NEVER happens!!! It'll be okay, right????? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 My oldest is 18; she'll be 19 in January. She's at a 2nd grade level educationally though, speech days, developmental delays and disabilities since birth, in a special needs school/life skills class and so on. She's never had a lot of social opportunities. She goes to a Special Olympics sports practice 2X a week over much of the school year after school, that's her main social life. She has an adult woman who takes her out for five hours once a week to work on skills and goals while doing social outings, sometimes with the woman's 14 y/o daughter along, too. She loves doing that. Once a month now that she's turned 18, she is in a social program where they pick her (and others like her) up once a month and take them out to an evening social event like a dance, movie, dinner, the mall, mini golf, bowling and so on- all supervised. Once in a while someone from school will come over but hardly ever. She's never really been invited to someone else's house. Ever. Well today out of the blue she came home from school beaming from ear to ear and saying that her friend is going to an amusement park tonight with her older (grown) sister and the sister's husband and 4 y/o son and they're going to take Melissa with them. It's about 45 minutes away. I was skeptical at first because she tends to say things like "my friend invited me to a concert! My friend's taking me on vacation!" but it's never really REAL, KWIM? But not two minutes later the phone rings, and it's her friend calling her. And the friend put the grown sister on the phone with me, and the sister said that yes she's taking her sister, and the sister wanted to bring a friend, and that it was fine with her, and she could pick my daughter up at 3:30 and have her home around 11:30 if it was okay with me. She'll be here any minute. Gulp. I'm a little nervous! I've never even met this person! Will she supervise as closely as I would? That kind of thing. But how can I deny my 18 y/o daughter this chance to do something fun with a friend... that NEVER happens!!! It'll be okay, right????? Yes, it will be okay :grouphug:. How wonderful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 I'm sure it will. It must be hard, and I can only imagine your fears. Try to think of it as life lessons for her and you. For her to be out with someone else and you to let go. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 :party: How fun for your daughter! I'm sure the other sis will be very watchful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 :) I hope she has a great time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Oh Nance! How wonderful!! :party: :hurray: You brought a tear to my eye, I hope she has fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 15, 2010 Author Share Posted October 15, 2010 Sniff, sniff. Thank you! She just left. The sister seemed really nice, promised to keep an eye on her. I'm really happy for my daughter and nervous all at the same time. I am a little teary eyed myself! Nobody has ever invited her anywhere and meant it, ever that I can recall. I just couldn't tell her no based on some over-protective thing, this meant so much to her... I hope she does fine though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Sniff, sniff. Thank you! She just left. The sister seemed really nice, promised to keep an eye on her. I'm really happy for my daughter and nervous all at the same time. I am a little teary eyed myself! Nobody has ever invited her anywhere and meant it, ever that I can recall. I just couldn't tell her no based on some over-protective thing, this meant so much to her... I hope she does fine though! Super cyber hug, girly squeels and Mommy tears :grouphug: No matter when they make that first step it's so heart warming it hurts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 What a wonderful opportunity for her. :grouphug: I'm sure she'll come home brimming with excitement from her big outing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Sounds like a wonderful afternoon. Please update us when she gets home. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 I swear these posts are making me tear up today. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I bet she's going to have a fabulous time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 How happy for both of You! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Celebrating with you:001_smile: She will be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 How wonderful for you daughter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 That is fabulous! Yay, Mom, for giving her permission to go! I can't wait to hear about how much fun she had! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 Well assuming this friend is from school and has similar delays, I am guessing the family is well equipped to take care of things. :) Hope she has a good time. I was going to say the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 That's wonderful news! I'm sure she will have an amazing time & what a joy it will be for you to listen to her retell her stories about her outing! Keep us updated! I'm eager to hear how it went. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 15, 2010 Share Posted October 15, 2010 It's really nice of the sister to include a friend. They'll have a great time. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 Sniff, sniff. Thank you! She just left. The sister seemed really nice, promised to keep an eye on her. I'm really happy for my daughter and nervous all at the same time. I am a little teary eyed myself! Nobody has ever invited her anywhere and meant it, ever that I can recall. I just couldn't tell her no based on some over-protective thing, this meant so much to her... I hope she does fine though! How did it go :001_smile:? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 I have to confess (bad mom I know) I fell asleep before she even came home (which was at nearly midnight). I was SO tired lol. I had talked to her on the phone at one point a little after 9 PM though when she had called to check in and say hi so I knew she was doing well and having fun! My hubby was up and waiting for her when she got home (he's way more of a night owl than I am), and I talked to her this morning. She had a blast! They walked around, they ate, they went on rides, they played games (she won a Webkinz playing a game)! And she really had a nice time. I was SO happy she made a friend who wanted to socialize with her outside of school. I will be keeping this girl's number and letting Melissa invite her over in the near future, I hope that they stay friends! I think it's so good to have social opportunities and relationships outside of a structured setting, and she's never really been able to have that! Anyway it went great- I'm glad I let her go (literally and figuratively) and I'm glad she had fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hana Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 As the sister of a special needs man, I can relate to your original post. I'm so glad she went and had a great time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I'm glad that she had such a great time.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willow Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I am so glad it went so well. And that you were relaxed enough after meeting the family and after the phone call to be able to sleep. :) Let us know when you invite the friend over to visit, and how it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 :) Warm fuzzies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I'm SO GLAD she had fun, and even more glad she has a new friend!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted October 16, 2010 Share Posted October 16, 2010 I'm glad it went well, I'm sure it's a huge relief to you on several levels. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 16, 2010 Author Share Posted October 16, 2010 Thanks, everyone, for reassuring me AND celebrating with me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 So glad she had a great time:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 YAY! I'm so happy to hear she had a wonderful time! Even better than that is she has a friend! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in AL Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I'm so glad your daughter had such a great time!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 I'm so glad to hear that your dd had a great evening, and am even happier that she may have made a new friend! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 It would be so hard to let go, because you want to protect her so much, but now that you've done the "first step", and it went so well, it should make you feel better for next time.:001_smile: Glad for you both! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 How lovely! I got a little teary eyed too! Are you considering having your daughter write a quick thank you note to the sister? Or maybe from you... just a suggestion since it sounds like such a wonderful gesture on the part of the sister. She must be very thoughtful! And it's so great that your dd has a new friend to invite over... I'm just so happy for her!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenn- Posted October 17, 2010 Share Posted October 17, 2010 How lovely! I got a little teary eyed too! Are you considering having your daughter write a quick thank you note to the sister? Or maybe from you... just a suggestion since it sounds like such a wonderful gesture on the part of the sister. She must be very thoughtful! And it's so great that your dd has a new friend to invite over... I'm just so happy for her!!! I was just going to say the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 18, 2010 Share Posted October 18, 2010 (edited) I have to confess (bad mom I know) I fell asleep before she even came home (which was at nearly midnight). I was SO tired lol. I had talked to her on the phone at one point a little after 9 PM though when she had called to check in and say hi so I knew she was doing well and having fun! My hubby was up and waiting for her when she got home (he's way more of a night owl than I am), and I talked to her this morning. She had a blast! They walked around, they ate, they went on rides, they played games (she won a Webkinz playing a game)! And she really had a nice time. I was SO happy she made a friend who wanted to socialize with her outside of school. I will be keeping this girl's number and letting Melissa invite her over in the near future, I hope that they stay friends! I think it's so good to have social opportunities and relationships outside of a structured setting, and she's never really been able to have that! Anyway it went great- I'm glad I let her go (literally and figuratively) and I'm glad she had fun! :D Nance, that is so wonderful to "hear." :grouphug: You've made my Monday. Edited October 18, 2010 by lionfamily1999 typing with my toes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 18, 2010 Author Share Posted October 18, 2010 :) It is so sweet how excited you guys got with me. Now stop it, you're making me tear up again lol. (the thank you note is a good idea, I'll ask Melissa if she'd like to write one tonight and give it to her friend to pass on to her sister tomorrow). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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