I'm crabby at the end of every school day, I need to talk

[helena]

:(

It really starts to feel like a form of torture during that last hour. The kids are upset that there's still so much to do, but they drag their feet like nobody's business. We're working on it from a few angles, and I totally expect in the next month to become more efficient.

 

But...:crying: I'm so exhausted and cranky by the end. I want to put them in PS everyday at 3pm, (which isn't going to happen).

 

Please, if you can share some tips with me, how do you finish up your school days on a positive note? What do you do when you start feeling like anger mom? How are you getting the kids to hustle and get the work done? Instead of nagging, or scolding, what can I do to finish the school day in a reasonable amount of time?

 

These are our issues that complicate school a bit:

1) I have Lupus, which makes me always a little tired. Reading out loud, and speaking is starting to have a bad effect on me. My throat seems to be the new body part that's taking a beating.

2) Both of my daughters have Tourette Syndrome, and almost everyday the tics get to a point where the concentration and seriousness gets to them, and the tics get a little more aggressive. For example, my little one is pushing and rolling her eyes while she's trying to work. Overall I'd say their TS is not to bad at all, BUT it gets them everyday.

 

I'm trying to make peace and find a balance with our limitations, and still make sure they are being challenged (not taking advantage of the situation), and getting a solid education. I've had pare down the curriculum I bought for this year, and embrace "less is more".

 

I'm so exhausted right now, I hate that I deal with it by getting crabby, I'm going to make a real effort to not have that be my "go to" emotion when I'm overwhelmed.

 

I just need a little wisdom. Can anyone offer me some tangible advice to (mostly) avoid the rage?

 

School goes anywhere between 3 and 5 hours.

 

Thanks for listening-

[Barb_]

Stop before you get to that point. Once you feel the day is going downhill, close the books and be done. Wherever you left off is where you start tomorrow. Once you are exhausted and angry you've reached your point of diminishing returns.

 

Barb

[extendedforecast]

Stop before you get to that point. Once you feel the day is going downhill, close the books and be done. Wherever you left off is where you start tomorrow. Once you are exhausted and angry you've reached your point of diminishing returns.

 

Barb

 

:iagree:

This is what has been working for us.

[christine in al]

FM not lupus.

I think the loop schedule will work for us, and we don't ever go to 3:00

 

My kids love a todo list. when they are finished with the list, they are done.

 

my weakness is tend to put off till tomorrow too easly. But I'm incorporating the looping a bit more so at least everything gets covered.

 

And If Math, Language Arts and piano all get covered, I WILL count it as a school day. but not a great one. ( I also want them to do History, Sciecne, Latin, Modern Foreign Language, cursive, memory work, and geography. every day, I am thinking that each of these every day might be too many things)

 

Do your priorities first. If they only do three things in a day what do those three things NEED to be.

 

At our house, Science was never getting done so I've outsourced that, they have a science tutor.

 

good luck dear,

don't go to 3:00

 

~Christine

[helena]

Stop before you get to that point. Once you feel the day is going downhill, close the books and be done. Wherever you left off is where you start tomorrow. Once you are exhausted and angry you've reached your point of diminishing returns.

 

Barb

 

I agree. My first step needs to be insisting on math and PLL/ILL getting done first. That will make it easier to stop before it get ugly.

 

BTW, when I say ugly or angry, I don't mean crazy out of control. It's more like me saying "That's it!! I've had it!! How can I help you if you don't even make an effort, GGRR!!"

Inside I feel that I'm going to scream, burst, and cry.

The kids see how I'm feeling though.

[helena]

FM not lupus.

I think the loop schedule will work for us, and we don't ever go to 3:00

 

My kids love a todo list. when they are finished with the list, they are done.

 

my weakness is tend to put off till tomorrow too easly. But I'm incorporating the looping a bit more so at least everything gets covered.

 

And If Math, Language Arts and piano all get covered, I WILL count it as a school day. but not a great one. ( I also want them to do History, Sciecne, Latin, Modern Foreign Language, cursive, memory work, and geography. every day, I am thinking that each of these every day might be too many things)

 

Do your priorities first. If they only do three things in a day what do those three things NEED to be.

 

At our house, Science was never getting done so I've outsourced that, they have a science tutor.

 

good luck dear,

don't go to 3:00

 

~Christine

 

Could you explain what a loop schedule is?

My three things would be Math, Primary Language Lessons/Intermediate Language Lessons, and piano/violin.

Each girl has a daily planner, I agree it helps to have them see what exactly needs to get done.

 

You know.. I'm going to take your (and pp) advice, and not do school after 3. I think I'll have a talk with the girls about it on Monday morning. Just that alone makes me fell like I can breath a little easier.

 

I just want to give the girls an awesome education.. :crying:

I feel like a cry baby right now, sorry. I want to find a balance and have total peace and confidence about their academic futures.

They/I simply cannot go hardcore. I guess it's not a big deal. I'm very lucky to have found curriculum that work great for us. Count your blessing, right?

 

:grouphug: to you, FM is awful.

Thank you for your input.

[Barb_]

I agree. My first step needs to be insisting on math and PLL/ILL getting done first. That will make it easier to stop before it get ugly.

 

BTW, when I say ugly or angry, I don't mean crazy out of control. It's more like me saying "That's it!! I've had it!! How can I help you if you don't even make an effort, GGRR!!"

Inside I feel that I'm going to scream, burst, and cry.

The kids see how I'm feeling though.

 

Oh, Honey I know exactly what you're talking about. I hope I didn't come across as all judgy about your feeling tired and irritated. No, I could relate because I'd been there, mostly when I'm pregnant, but now that I'm in my 40's it's mostly age. Cutting my day short when I couldn't take it anymore does the trick for me. Quitting while we're ahead allows us to have days where we can hit our stride and work for 5-6 hours at a clip. The attitudes stay pretty upbeat as long as we don't get caught in that downward spiral.

 

Barb

[helena]

Oh, Honey I know exactly what you're talking about. I hope I didn't come across as all judgy about your feeling tired and irritated. No, I could relate because I'd been there, mostly when I'm pregnant, but now that I'm in my 40's it's mostly age. Cutting my day short when I couldn't take it anymore does the trick for me. Quitting while we're ahead allows us to have days where we can hit our stride and work for 5-6 hours at a clip. The attitudes stay pretty upbeat as long as we don't get caught in that downward spiral.

 

Barb

 

You don't come across judgy :) at all! I'm so grateful to be able to come here for advice.

 

I love what you said about quitting while you're ahead, I've never thought of that. I'm going to think about it over the weekend. I can see that there's a lot of room for improvement. That gives me hope. So much of our schooling is beautiful, and I don't expect it to be perfect. I'm just ready to make it better.

[Imprimis]

One thing that has helped us is to schedule the tougher subjects first. I let the kids determine which these are.

 

Also, we sometimes split up our school day. Take a break in the middle and finish up later.

 

As for read alouds, is your older daughter able to take turns reading with you? I sometimes have my son and oldest do the reading.

 

Something else I do on occasion is plan something fun, but educational for the end of our school day to motivate the kids to get done with their work--a movie or interesting documentary about something we're studying, a game of Monopoly or Scrabble, cookie baking---just something to break up the routine of the school week.

 

I think we all have one of those weeks from time to time that seem unproductive and make us feel as though we're losing ground.

 

The good thing is sometimes just a small change can help you regain your stride and get back on track.

 

Hang in there!

[helena]

As for read alouds, is your older daughter able to take turns reading with you? I sometimes have my son and oldest do the reading.

 

 

YES!!

I hadn't even considered this.

Thank you

[Peela]

I agree with stopping before you get to that point.

Do the harder stuff first. The important stuff, too.

I leave that last hour (sometimes 2) for them to do independent work because I am pooped- I go and rest so that I can get through the late afternoon and evening.

I make it work within my energy capacity. If I am burning out, I change what we are doing. I dump a parent intensive program for a less parent intensive one. I cut out the non essentials. I shorten lessons.

We start by 8.30am so that I can devote my best hours to school. By 1 or 2pm I am done. OK, by 1pm. But my kids are older and can finally work independently a fair amount. I would seriously consider cutting back to about 3 to 4 hours with kids your kids' ages, but that's just me. Or, implement the mandatory afternoon 1 or 2 hour rest time that Susan Wise Bauer recommends for homeschooling families. I learned that taking that break is for me the difference between being a reasonable person and enjoying our lifesyle, and just scraping through each day. You could finish the last hour of work in the afternoon or evening, or save the readalouds for them.

Dont underestimate how exhausting it can be to homeschool.

[elfgivas]

we do hard things first. and have "happy horizontal hour" after lunch. (everyone must pleasantly be horizontal in their beds without electronics for an hour, including me). i have also worked a schedule where i teach math to one and assign seat work, then work with the other one on something and assign seat work and alternate back and forth. they have chores they do if they are finished before i am ready, or if i will be a long while, they do their music practice.

 

but we never do 7 hours of academic school in a day. we do more than i could teach in a classroom in 7 hours in less than half that, and then add in other things.

 

outsourcing a subject or two also works wonders. dds do "history at our house" and love it.

 

you are wise to try to re-weave your day so that it works for you, too!

 

hth,

ann

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

You could also try to do more books on tape for read aloud things.

 

There are programs that read from pdfs and also audio books for the blind and dyslexic, you might be able to get audio textbooks or other books from them, ask on the special needs board if you're interested.

[Guest Alte Veste Academy]

implement the mandatory afternoon 1 or 2 hour rest time that Susan Wise Bauer recommends for homeschooling families. I learned that taking that break is for me the difference between being a reasonable person and enjoying our lifesyle, and just scraping through each day.

 

:iagree:

My kids are not as old as yours and don't have as much schoolwork to get done but they are still here. And needy. Of me. All day long. It is exhausting, as I am an introvert. We started up the quiet time and it is heaven on earth. Seriously. Do try it. We do school until lunch, then they get an hour to play together and then they go to quiet time, each in their own rooms. I rest and drink tea and enjoy silence. Aaaaaah, silence! The best part is that when they come out, we sit down together and have tea. We all sit around the table, peaceful and rejuvenated by our quiet time and drink tea, have a snack and read poetry. It is absolutely my favorite time of day. Can you find some way to incorporate quiet time (your kids could even do some independent work then if you can't spare the hour from schoolwork) and/or tea-time? It has saved my sanity this year.

 

The other thing that has worked well for us is paying strict attention to the CM notion of alternating skill and content subjects so that exhaustion with the work itself doesn't set in quite so quickly.

[Chris in VA]

I'd save TT for last, because it's independent, and could make YOUR ending time 30 minutes (or however long it is) shorter.

I'd also split the reading time, and, as others have said, and look for the next book on tape. I love reading to dd, and she doesn't want me to anymore, so I know that can be a hard loss of sorts, but at this point, I'd save your throat.

 

When I was super stressed and going thru depression, my pastor gave me advice. She said, "Draw a bigger circle." She meant what others have said here--quit before the stress level hits your personal circle of comfort, the one you draw around yourself.

 

From the Beth Moore Living Proof--"Kindness wears down when we do." Make sure you are only taking on the responsibilities that truly belong to you, and seek community to help you build yourself up.

[~Kirsten~]

Could you explain what a loop schedule is?

My three things would be Math, Primary Language Lessons/Intermediate Language Lessons, and piano/violin.

 

I don't think anyone has answered this yet, so I'll give it a shot. I believe that looping is when you go through your list of subjects one at a time, and if you stop at number 6, you start the next day with 7.

 

So let's say you have:

1) math

2) PLL/ILL

3) violin

4) science

5) history

6) typing

7) reading

 

On Monday, you do math, PLL, violin, and science. Tuesday morning, you'd start with history, then typing, reading, and back to math. Wednesday, you'd start with PLL, then violin, and so forth.

 

My understanding is that looping ensures you hit every subject evenly. So it's a bit different from prioritizing math, PLL, and violin because it's quite possible you wouldn't hit those subjects at all some days. However, if science always gets skipped, it won't any more. If the idea intrigues you, do a search over on the K-8 board for loop schedules. There was a lot of talk about it some time ago.

 

It seems like maybe you might want to do a partial loop schedule, where you do your big three first, and then loop the rest of your subjects. You might get the best of both worlds that way, especially if you set a time, say 3, where you're definitely done for the day.

 

Big, big hugs to you! It sounds like you've gotten some great advice, and you definitely sound as though you have the will and the love to make everything work! :grouphug:

[Tohru]

:grouphug:

 

Yep, been there. Tears, threats, screaming. Oh my!

 

I tried weekly schedules, workboxes, frequent breaks/recess and now we do Loop Scheduling and it has saved us!

 

We get more done than we ever did before with less frustration and more retention.

 

My son is 8th, so I expect a lot from him. However we only school for about 3 - 3.5 hours a day.

We start school at 9am, take a 15 minute or so snack break at 11am and are done for the day at 12:30pm.

That's it.

I stay there, available to him the entire time and only get up to make the snack or go to the bathroom. Since he can do most the stuff on his own, I generally read or paint with my daughter.

 

We loop all our subjects except Spelling and French and we seriously get to each item at least 2x-3x per week, plus only school 4 days/week because he has MonArt on Tuesdays.

 

I have a binder with all the lesson plans in it. We start at the beginning of the binder, go through one lesson per each subject and at 12:30 we stop.

The next day, we pick right up on the subject we left off on and start over from the beginning again. Each subject gets the same amount of attention and importance.

 

In 8th grade, this is what we cover:

 

Daily

Spelling

French

 

Math/Logic

Life of Fred

Jacob's Algebra

Traditional Logic

 

History-

TOG History Reading/Summary Writing

TOG Literature, plus worksheets

US History w/ Hakim

US Geography

 

Language Arts-

Writeshop

Classical Writing - heavily modified to only do Analysis, not Imitation

Vocabulary Cartoons

Latin Prep

Literary Lessons w/ LOTR (I read aloud)

Literature Reading

 

Science-

Apologia Physical Science

Zoologoy

Science Biography

Science History w/ Hakim

Science Olympiad studying

 

Art/Music-

Calvert Art History

Composer Study

Philosophy Study

 

We really do everything on this list at a minimum of 2x a week, but generally 3x per week.

If you can get over the idea of a traditional school day and not care what day you do which subject, this approach might work for you, plus it would alleviate the stress on you and your daughters.

My son will work straight through because he knows he's done at 12:30. Before he would take hours to get something done and sometimes still be working after dinner. Now he just gets it done.

Plus, if we're having a bad day, then we both know exactly when it will end. ;)

Edited October 2, 2010 by jadedone80

[Tohru]

Could you explain what a loop schedule is?

 

I just want to give the girls an awesome education.. :crying:

I feel like a cry baby right now, sorry. I want to find a balance and have total peace and confidence about their academic futures.

They/I simply cannot go hardcore. I guess it's not a big deal. I'm very lucky to have found curriculum that work great for us. Count your blessing, right?

 

:grouphug: to you, FM is awful.

Thank you for your input.

 

Joyce Swann homeschooleded all her 10 of her kids in 3hrs per day and each student had Masters Degrees at 16. I don't have that goal, but I figured if she can get her kids such a great education with spending so little time, then I could too. :D

 

Here is the blog that inspired me to let go of my ideals of traditional schooling and take the Loop plunge:

 

http://larsonboysacademy.blogspot.com/2008/04/loop.html

Edited October 2, 2010 by jadedone80

[helena]

WOW! I seriously feel like I have something to work with now. I'm adding "the loop", and nap/quiet time to my list of possible solutions.

 

Thank you so much.

 

Off to read the loop blog.:001_smile:

[stripe]

Also maybe dividing the day in two? Like do stuff in the AM, and take a break, then come back to work.

 

I definitely support the idea of a nap time. Wish I could pull it off.

 

(My problem is that I want to get started earlier in the morning than my kids do.)

[Guest Katia]

All of these suggestions have been great. The loop schedule is a wonderful idea as well.

 

Here is one more scheduling idea for you that worked with my kids.

 

Start each day with reading. When the kids wake up, let them read in bed for 20 minutes before breakfast and chores (getting dressed in our house!). My kids always thought this was a real treat and thought it was delaying 'school'. I had a 'book pile' for them to read from and they could chose whichever book was in the pile. When the 20 mins are up, they put a marker in the book until the next day.

 

Second, only do academic subjects Monday thru Thursday. Save Friday for art, music and foreign language....or skip those and do a field trip to change it up.

 

So then....on Mon-Thurs, after breakfast and chores, start with math and then English. Time these subjects as well. We did no longer than 30 mins on math and 30 mins on English until 7th grade, and then added 15 mins for each subject (45 mins total)

 

Only do History on Mon and Wed; and only do science on Tues and Thurs. No longer than 40 minutes each day.

 

Finish up with violin practice. No more than 30 mins daily, until 7th grade and then up 15 mins. Up 15 more mins in 8th grade.

 

This should take no longer than 3-4 hours and they are done.

 

On Friday, let them sleep in. After reading, play whatever music/composer you want them to become familiar with (Composer of the Month type of thing) while they are eating breakfast and doing chores. You could casually talk about the composer/music during breakfast.

 

Then do a picture/artist study. We used Looking at Pictures and would leave the book open to that picture the entire week for the kids to look at. Have fun with an art project. We liked ArtPacs; simple, fun and they learned a lot. If you study Latin, this would be the time to do that. We did sign language on Fridays and listened to French songs. Then we would sing; we learned all types of old folk songs, patriotic songs, hymns, spirituals and pop.

 

My kids always looked forward to Fridays and felt that they weren't really 'doing school' then, either. ;)

 

This worked well for them. They have all graduated, one has graduated college and the other two are in college. They were not 'behind' and all got scholarships. We followed this schedule for our school through 8th grade. Stress-free and effective.

[SonshineLearner]

Also.. do you have the Story of the World cds? I'd be getting those... makes listening to them a breeze!! Everything you can do to make your life a bit easier :)

[helena]

Also.. do you have the Story of the World cds? I'd be getting those... makes listening to them a breeze!! Everything you can do to make your life a bit easier :)

 

We use them.

What I've been doing is reading the chapter Monday, and then playing the cd Thursday to help them get ready for the test on Friday.

Do you think just the cd's are fine? I break up the other stuff like map, coloring, narration on other days.

It would take a little pressure off to not have to read the book too, but it's worth it if.... it's worth it :).

 

At the very least, maybe I shouldn't worry if both don't happen every week.

[Barb_]

Do you think just the cd's are fine? I break up the other stuff like map, coloring, narration on other days.

 

 

That's how we do it. As long as I do the questions immediately afterword to cement the narrative, it works just fine here. Give it a shot! If it works, it works. If it doesn't, then try something else.

 

Barb

[helena]

All of these suggestions have been great. The loop schedule is a wonderful idea as well.

 

Here is one more scheduling idea for you that worked with my kids.

 

Start each day with reading. When the kids wake up, let them read in bed for 20 minutes before breakfast and chores (getting dressed in our house!). My kids always thought this was a real treat and thought it was delaying 'school'. I had a 'book pile' for them to read from and they could chose whichever book was in the pile. When the 20 mins are up, they put a marker in the book until the next day.

 

Second, only do academic subjects Monday thru Thursday. Save Friday for art, music and foreign language....or skip those and do a field trip to change it up.

 

So then....on Mon-Thurs, after breakfast and chores, start with math and then English. Time these subjects as well. We did no longer than 30 mins on math and 30 mins on English until 7th grade, and then added 15 mins for each subject (45 mins total)

 

Only do History on Mon and Wed; and only do science on Tues and Thurs. No longer than 40 minutes each day.

 

Finish up with violin practice. No more than 30 mins daily, until 7th grade and then up 15 mins. Up 15 more mins in 8th grade.

 

This should take no longer than 3-4 hours and they are done.

 

On Friday, let them sleep in. After reading, play whatever music/composer you want them to become familiar with (Composer of the Month type of thing) while they are eating breakfast and doing chores. You could casually talk about the composer/music during breakfast.

 

Then do a picture/artist study. We used Looking at Pictures and would leave the book open to that picture the entire week for the kids to look at. Have fun with an art project. We liked ArtPacs; simple, fun and they learned a lot. If you study Latin, this would be the time to do that. We did sign language on Fridays and listened to French songs. Then we would sing; we learned all types of old folk songs, patriotic songs, hymns, spirituals and pop.

 

My kids always looked forward to Fridays and felt that they weren't really 'doing school' then, either. ;)

 

This worked well for them. They have all graduated, one has graduated college and the other two are in college. They were not 'behind' and all got scholarships. We followed this schedule for our school through 8th grade. Stress-free and effective.

 

Reading in bed!!:party: I could have them read their chapter books, or books that go with science or history... or art!!

 

My mom just bought them digital bookmarks with a clock and timer, I'll have to pull those out.

 

Also, I think I'm going to try the time limit on subjects. I think it'll help them snap to it, and help me by seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. It's also nice because it's the timer urging them, not me. I'll time it to fit what they need to get done with a little slack, and adjust it from there.

 

Thank so much

[LindaOz]

:grouphug:

 

Yep, been there. Tears, threats, screaming. Oh my!

 

I tried weekly schedules, workboxes, frequent breaks/recess and now we do Loop Scheduling and it has saved us!

 

We get more done than we ever did before with less frustration and more retention.

 

My son is 8th, so I expect a lot from him. However we only school for about 3 - 3.5 hours a day.

We start school at 9am, take a 15 minute or so snack break at 11am and are done for the day at 12:30pm.

That's it.

I stay there, available to him the entire time and only get up to make the snack or go to the bathroom. Since he can do most the stuff on his own, I generally read or paint with my daughter.

 

We loop all our subjects except Spelling and French and we seriously get to each item at least 2x-3x per week, plus only school 4 days/week because he has MonArt on Tuesdays.

 

I have a binder with all the lesson plans in it. We start at the beginning of the binder, go through one lesson per each subject and at 12:30 we stop.

The next day, we pick right up on the subject we left off on and start over from the beginning again. Each subject gets the same amount of attention and importance.

 

In 8th grade, this is what we cover:

 

Daily

Spelling

French

 

Math/Logic

Life of Fred

Jacob's Algebra

Traditional Logic

 

History-

TOG History Reading/Summary Writing

TOG Literature, plus worksheets

US History w/ Hakim

US Geography

 

Language Arts-

Writeshop

Classical Writing - heavily modified to only do Analysis, not Imitation

Vocabulary Cartoons

Latin Prep

Literary Lessons w/ LOTR (I read aloud)

Literature Reading

 

Science-

Apologia Physical Science

Zoologoy

Science Biography

Science History w/ Hakim

Science Olympiad studying

 

Art/Music-

Calvert Art History

Composer Study

Philosophy Study

 

We really do everything on this list at a minimum of 2x a week, but generally 3x per week.

If you can get over the idea of a traditional school day and not care what day you do which subject, this approach might work for you, plus it would alleviate the stress on you and your daughters.

My son will work straight through because he knows he's done at 12:30. Before he would take hours to get something done and sometimes still be working after dinner. Now he just gets it done.

Plus, if we're having a bad day, then we both know exactly when it will end. ;)

 

So, just a question.... Do you do every item on your list above as part of the loop, or one item from each of the subject areas?

[Tohru]

So, just a question.... Do you do every item on your list above as part of the loop, or one item from each of the subject areas?

 

He completes every item in each subject, then we move on to the next subject or pick up wherever we left off the previous day. I like that we're covering so much more material because I could never get it all to fit into our weekly schedule by using time blocks, time allocation, or workboxes. I mean, sometimes the reading takes 10 minutes, sometimes an hour...how do you plan for that without driving yourself crazy? lol! The loop works for us.

 

HTH!

[LindaOz]

He completes every item in each subject, then we move on to the next subject or pick up wherever we left off the previous day. I like that we're covering so much more material because I could never get it all to fit into our weekly schedule by using time blocks, time allocation, or workboxes. I mean, sometimes the reading takes 10 minutes, sometimes an hour...how do you plan for that without driving yourself crazy? lol! The loop works for us.

 

 

 

Thanks. It's great that you get through all that 2-3 times a week. I'm playing with a loop schedule at the moment. My ninth grader likes to spend time going in depth in a topic rather than do a little of something then move to the next subject. Having her still cover everything in one day was taking way too long. I think that a loop schedule will work better for her.

[lisa diane]

I am so sorry!! I am new to home schooling and also struggling. It is a hard job!!! Be kind to yourself.

[LibraryLover]

You have health issues and you need to take care of yourself. I don't exactly know what that might be What does your Dr suggest? Can you hire someone to help with the children or with housework? Do you have a partner who can help? Are you able to get any services? SSI?

Edited October 14, 2010 by LibraryLover

[woolybear]

I would consider looking at what you are doing and see if there is any way you can pull yourself out just a bit more. Perhaps some of the read alouds can be audio books (librivox has lots of choices and it's free). Maybe some they can read themselves. Also, is the computer an option for any of the classes? I just got Teaching Textbooks for my 10 yo for just that reason. I don't want to be needed for every subject.

 

I really don't know what it's like to be in your situation, either yours or having kids with Tourettes, so please forgive me if my suggestions are unreasonable or just won't work for you.

 

Perhaps you can end your school time with something relaxing or fun for all of you. A game? An occasional movie or educational show? Maybe an audio book with the lights turned down and candles lit. Or maybe free form art time with quiet music playing. Just some thoughts......

[helena]

Well, here's my update.

I made a list of all the things I could do right away to alleviate some of the stress (thanks to everyones suggestions here :)).

I've done things like ending earlier than expected (on a high note), so that we could leave the classroom feeling upbeat. Mostly not teaching past 3. Getting the 4 basics done first, which for me are math, PLL/ILL, piano and violin. In the end we always get a lot more done than that, but it's helping me relax a bit just to know the basics are covered. I've eliminated some curriculum all together, even if it's good stuff. Changing from read alouds to books on cd is a little sad, but I has lifted a little stress on me. I still talk and read a lot, but I'm cutting it out where I can.

 

I'm considering the loop schedule too.

 

Now that I've started to make some positive changes (and more to come), I'm looking at my own anxiety and anger issues.

I think all the curriculum changes in the world aren't going to solve the ultimate problem, which is that my stress level shouldn't be allowed to decrease the quality of our lives. I'm over being consumed by stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and fear. And at the same time any peace I make in my head doesn't help with the actual physical and emotional pain that goes with illness. Boo!!

So.. that's a whole other thread. :tongue_smilie:

 

Honestly, I can say I'm actively taking the good advice here. Things are slowly improving. I have my list, and I'm not going to slide back into habits that don't work for anyone.

 

Thanks again everyone! I appreciate the advice and kindness.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Helena, You have Lupus, right? May I suggest that you look at a book by Dr. James Wilson called "Adrenal Fatigue"? http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/ Adrenal fatigue is what happens when your body has been battered by long term illness (among other things). I've found that my own issues of anger and anxiety have gotten better with an adrenal diet as well as some other advice that I got from his book. Sorry to sound like an infomercial but I wanted to at least tell you about this.

[helena]

Helena, You have Lupus, right? May I suggest that you look at a book by Dr. James Wilson called "Adrenal Fatigue"? http://www.adrenalfatigue.org/ Adrenal fatigue is what happens when your body has been battered by long term illness (among other things). I've found that my own issues of anger and anxiety have gotten better with an adrenal diet as well as some other advice that I got from his book. Sorry to sound like an infomercial but I wanted to at least tell you about this.

 

Thank you Jean. I'll take any advice I can get! Yes, I have Lupus. My Rhummy doesn't do anything for me. She's just impressed that I'm flexible and maintaining. :glare:

 

I think I'm beaten down right now, and I don't even realize it. I tend to think that if I can just keep going, everything is fine. But, it's not. Even with Lupus I know I could feel a lot better.

I'm going to read up on your suggestion right now.

:grouphug:

Edited October 15, 2010 by helena

[Farmgirl70]

Just one other thought....You have lots of wonderful things on your list! I do the same thing--so much to accomplish! One thing that has worked for us is to do a block of some of the "extra" things that I want to see done. For example, maybe for six weeks we do some art. Then we might do the music or another "elective" type subject. We do the core things and then rotate the other elective type things. The kids are all teens now. The last couple of years, my husband will take a subject or a book and that is their thing. This summer he read "Franny and Zooey" by Salinger with them. Right now he's reading an art history book with them (an interest of his). They get a fresh teacher and he gets in on the homeschooling action.

[Jean in Wisc]

:(oing to happen).

Please, if you can share some tips with me, how do you finish up your school days on a positive note? What do you do when you start feeling like anger mom? How are you getting the kids to hustle and get the work done? Instead of nagging, or scolding, what can I do to finish the school day in a reasonable amount of time?

 

I'm trying to make peace and find a balance with our limitations, and still make sure they are being challenged (not taking advantage of the situation), and getting a solid education. I've had pare down the curriculum I bought for this year, and embrace "less is more".

 

I'm so exhausted right now, I hate that I deal with it by getting crabby, I'm going to make a real effort to not have that be my "go to" emotion when I'm overwhelmed.

 

I just need a little wisdom. Can anyone offer me some tangible advice to (mostly) avoid the rage?

 

School goes anywhere between 3 and 5 hours.

 

Thanks for listening-

 

11yo: TT, LOF, Building Thinking Skills, ILL, Editor in Chief, Phon. Zoo, fencing

9yo: TT, + drill stuff, Building Thinking Skills, PLL, Cozy Gram./Punc. (dvds only), Pictures in Cursive, science classes

Together: SOTW, BF geog., Microscope Adventure!, journaling a year at the creek, a little french, piano, violin, Artistic P., ice skating, heavy on the poetry, a year of composers w/ Vox CDs, & working through Book of Virtues, Waldorf crafts, books & more books!

 

I've not read all the replies, but I have a couple thoughts.

 

A question for you--is there any way to take a class or two out of the schedule? i.e. are you enjoying both LOF and TT? Could you just do TT? What about Building Thinking Skills. If you love them, great. If you liked them as much as we did, well, ditch them. ;)

 

I use to snuggle up with the kids and read straight through the science and history books, trying to get them done in just a few days. Aren't there CDs for the history program you use? Slip them in and give the kids some crayons or markers or Legos and ask them to color in silence while you all listen for as long as they can do so and enjoy it. Or let them listen during meal time, stopping to discuss them if they get interesting. Then get what you need together for a couple of days of history activities, spending a day or two doing the ones you want to do--calling it review of what you had read. Or make Friday activity day where you do history or science labs.

 

Science works the same way--can your dd read to you/take turns reading with you/daddy read out loud, snuggled up on the sofa? Go straight through the book. Then take a few days to collect the labs and do several of them in a day--maybe once a week until you are done. Maybe one morning this week and another morning next week--just do them all, and then be done with them. It takes much less time to do science labs in one day than it does to do one each day.

 

The rest of the year, let the children check books on history or science out of the library and have them read them themselves for a an hour of quiet time where you get to nap, rest, or clean a toilet. :D

 

Artistic P could be done at the end of a lab day or in the summer or, if the kids enjoy it, on a weekend when they could just work on it for fun. Or if you do the intro to the material and then let them work on the drawing while you listen to history, you'd get two things done at the same time.

 

I really liked doing science in the summer the way I explained it above. We got it out of the way so that we did not have to do it during the school year, making each day shorter.

 

Just look over your list of things and make sure that each of them need to be done THIS YEAR. Sometimes we collect "good" things to do, when, in reality, we need to do the "great" things and let the rest go so that we all have time to embrace life and love what we are doing.

 

I'm guessing you've gotten some good advice here--just thought I'd throw in some ideas in case you had not thought of them.

 

Blessings on the journey.

Jean

[woolybear]

One other thought that helps around here (when I manage to do it). I make an afternoon basket. This is a takeoff on Jen's idea from Wildflowers and Marbles. She posted about doing a morning basket. I can't link it just now, but if you go over to her blog it is a really wonderful idea. I have tried that, but then have found it hard sometimes to get to the other school subjects. So, I like to have an afternoon basket. It is not for every day or even every week. However, I put in those extras that I think are great ideas, but we don't always get to or don't really need to. Things like, a great read aloud, books on tape, fun crafty stuff, a dvd, a recipe, inspirational ideas, binoculars to look at the birds and a bird book. You get the idea. If you pull it out and get to half of it one day, leave it as is and do the rest another day or find things to add in. You can have it ready for any day. And if you're having one of those days.....maybe it can sub for a regular school day. It's like a day off, but with some fun educational activities too.

[mum]

I've been having the crabby trouble and I have been doing everything that needs ME in the morning. Afternoons are independent reading, Spanish on computer, music practice and any independent project work that needs finished. So I take a rest and catch up on a few of my chores, and think on dinner, and do all the crazy driving around, etc, etc. It seems to have helped a bit.