My Kindergartener wants to try public school

[corbie]

I let her go to preschool last year. I think she misses being with all the other kids. I already have her curriculum planned and filed (all 36 weeks!). She's doing great. I've offered to plan play dates. She still thinks she missing something. I don't want her to be angry, thinking I forced homeschooling on her. But, I really don't want to deal with public school, and I think she's doing so well.

 

I thought of seeing if the local ps would give us a tour so she could see what it was like. I afraid, though, that it will look great to her. Do I enroll her and let her try it out? I think she will end up wanting to come home - but what a hassle!

 

Any advice?

[skueppers]

One thing we're trying right now (as I write, actually) is to conduct school at a playground. My daughter works for 15 or 20 minutes, then plays for the same amount of time with the kids who happen to be there.

 

We also do lots of social things outside of "school hours."

[Greeny]

Maybe you could try finding a play group with other homeschoolers her age in your area? That way she could have the social interaction she craves and still homeschool.

 

I don't know what it's like where you live, but in my neck of the woods the parks and rec dept. has classes in everything you could imagine some are 1 day and some are one day a week for a few weeks in a row. They are inexpensive and would give her a taste of the class like setting without PS.

 

Or maybe something as simple as getting her into a dance or gymnastics class would work?

 

Good luck!

[shinyhappypeople]

What exactly does she think she's missing out on? I laid it all out for my new k-er. K is not at all like Sid the Science Kid (if it were I'd send her!). There are fun aspects to PS Kindergarten, but it's not all fun and games. You don't play all the time, or even most of the time. You go to school for 6 hours, you have to do exactly what the teacher says the whole time or you'll be in trouble. There's not very much recess (maybe 30 minutes total). You don't choose what you learn, you have to follow along with what the teacher has decided to teach. Always, no exceptions.

 

OTOH, at homeschool you only "do school" for a short time (I'm relaxed), play outside as much as you want (for the most part), get to choose many of the things you learn (e.g. I let her pick which science topic to cover), you have loads of time for drawing and crafts (her favorites) and you can still watch Curious George in the morning. (hey - it's shallow, but it matters to her!)

 

Turns out what she really wanted was a new backpack, lunchbox and bus ride. I gave her all 3 of those things and she hasn't looked back.

 

Best wishes. You're the mom and you didn't make the decision to homeschool lightly. Stick by your convictions.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

If you have already decided that ps is not for your family I wouldn't let her try it. What would be the point? She might not like it as well as she thinks she will but what if she loves it, and would loving something mean it's what's best for her? If ps is an option for your family then that's different.

[corbie]

I don't think ps is completely out of the question for our family. Homeschooling is my 1st choice. If that is ever not working for us, I will look at our options. My oldest went to ps for K. She loved it. It was when 1st grade started that she had trouble.

 

My 5 yr old can't really tell me why she wants to try ps. I'm afraid if I don't let her check it out, it will seem even more exciting to her - forbidden fruit.

 

I will check out some extra classes/groups.

 

Thanks for the replies.

[Alyeska]

My ds wanted to go to PS K last year. It took some digging to figure out why and it turns out it was because he wanted to ride on the big yellow bus. :lol:

 

I told him that I would take him for a bus ride sometime and he was completely satisfied.

[johnandtinagilbert]

Not being snarky, just keepin' it real....

 

I don't think she is qualified to make that decision for herself...the question is, what is best for her? Does a 5 year old have the experience to answer that question with wisdom, understanding, and maturity. No offense, but I've never met a 5 year old that had wisdom, understanding or enough maturity to decide what is best for themselves. She doesn't understand what goes on in a classroom; how learning in a crowded classroom will vary from one-on-one instruction; the social behaviors that are undesirable; behavioral labeling; forced socialization that is not at all relevant to adulthood...etc. etc. etc.....she wants to play with people and that's Not what school is for.

 

Find other social outlets, but don't bother with school and definitely don't let a 5yo decide what is best for her.

[nichole]

... you can still watch Curious George in the morning. (hey - it's shallow, but it matters to her!)

 

This played a big part in convincing my daughter that staying home was the best plan, too! And I may have told her that lunch at public school is mostly veggies and never, ever peanut butter sandwiches. :)

[Mommee & Baba]

Not being snarky, just keepin' it real....

 

I don't think she is qualified to make that decision for herself...the question is, what is best for her? Does a 5 year old have the experience to answer that question with wisdom, understanding, and maturity. No offense, but I've never met a 5 year old that had wisdom, understanding or enough maturity to decide what is best for themselves. She doesn't understand what goes on in a classroom; how learning in a crowded classroom will vary from one-on-one instruction; the social behaviors that are undesirable; behavioral labeling; forced socialization that is not at all relevant to adulthood...etc. etc. etc.....she wants to play with people and that's Not what school is for.

 

Find other social outlets, but don't bother with school and definitely don't let a 5yo decide what is best for her.

 

:iagree:

My DD5 has commented about "The Big School" and wanting to go. However she's 5, not of age to make that "life changing" decision. My dh has commented that maybe we should let her and I keep reminding him she's 5...if she had things her way we'd have cereal for dinner and our family movie night would consist of Barney while eating Nutella smothered graham crackers. :p

 

However we do compromise with our children.

 

If she wants to go to the ps then possibly let her go to ball games there, let her go to the library when the school kids get out of school and would be there...such things like that.

[parias1126]

I let my DD8 go to Kindergarten when she was 5. She wanted to and I thought it would give me a "break" and would give me the extra time to spend with my highschooler who really needed me at the time, as well as my 3 yr old.

 

Well, it was an absolute NIGHTMARE! First, she was sick the whole three months she was in school, she had every sickness under the sun (and brought it all home to the others), my 10 month old ended up almost having to get tubes in his ears because of everything my K'er was bringing home, she ended up getting full-blown headlice (disgusting!), she had 3 seizures (all of which the docs said were "febrile) which I now assume was from the stress and the huge life change. To top it all off, she wasn't learning anything! I had already taught her to read at home and they were taking NAPS, dancing around the classroom, etc. When I asked when they would be teaching things like basic addition, the response was, "We don't start actual learning time until February". Really??? :confused:

 

Needless to say, I will never ever ever ever put another child in K again! It was the most unrested 3 months I have ever had in my entire life. It has been 2 years and not one of my children have even been sick since then. :001_smile: As far as my DD8 who started out in PS for 3 months. She never wants to see PS again. I forgot to mention the bullying that was going on in Kindergarten! She would come home at least twice a week and tell me about another little girl that was calling her names, etc. :mad:

 

We will always stick to homeschooling unless something drastic happens that allows us to not be able to homeschool our children anymore.

[corbie]

Well, the suggestion that I'm allowing my 5 yr old to make life changing decisions is a bit offensive. The bottom line comes down to dh and myself. However, I do listen to my children. Their thoughts and needs, at whatever age, do have value in my mind. I do weigh in their feelings too when making these major decisions. I'm not a dictator.

 

We found our solution by signing her up for enrichment home school classes at our districts home school program, which we were already enrolled in - just not taking on-site classes. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier.

 

Thank you for the thoughtful and constructive responses.

[skueppers]

We found our solution by signing her up for enrichment home school classes at our districts home school program, which we were already enrolled in - just not taking on-site classes. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier.

 

That sounds like a lovely solution to the problem. I have a friend who lives in a town where they have something like that, and it's been great for her family!

 

There's nothing like that in this state, unfortunately.

[Sweetbeebie]

Preschool and Kindergarten are so different now. My daughter LOVED preschool and excitedly went off to Kindergarten only to begged to go back to prek after 3 days. She learned a ton in prek but they still managed to have a good amount of free play and art time. But the ps kindergarten only gave them 15 minutes of recess, 15 min lunch and no free play...too much work and sitting still for SO long made her dislike school completely. Granted she came out an excellent reader but at what cost???...already thinking school stinks!! Maybe explain the difference and or enroll her in an art class or music lessons anything to give her that group class feeling. We do gymnastics and cheer to help fill that gap left by not having a group activity.

[Miss Sherry]

I let her go to preschool last year. I think she misses being with all the other kids. I already have her curriculum planned and filed (all 36 weeks!). She's doing great. I've offered to plan play dates. She still thinks she missing something. I don't want her to be angry, thinking I forced homeschooling on her. But, I really don't want to deal with public school, and I think she's doing so well.

 

I thought of seeing if the local ps would give us a tour so she could see what it was like. I afraid, though, that it will look great to her. Do I enroll her and let her try it out? I think she will end up wanting to come home - but what a hassle!

 

Any advice?

 

You are the parent, she is not. Do not let her think she is the one in charge of making these decisions. It's not her place, it is your responsibility and your place. So what if she gets mad at you. She is not your best friend, she is your young child. She needs a parent. Being her own parent is too big a load to put on her childish shoulders. Some of your comments do sound like she does have a choice, as if she is in charge of this decision. Sorry if that offends you, but you did ask for advice and it may not be what you really want to hear. If you keep worrying about what she has decided to do, which may change daily, there will not be peace in your decision and you will have a hard time just getting on with the task of doing school each day for this school year.

Edited September 2, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[mama27]

My 5 year old wants to run naked and eat gummies all day. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.;)

[brownie]

My 1st grader didn't really want to come home last year. We started off slowly and when we went to the park or some other fun activity at noon, I would point out..."Gee, your friends still all have 4 more hours of school." This seemed to get the point across :) Now a year later he is happier to be home. Brownie

[Karen in CO]

My 5 year old wants to run naked and eat gummies all day. Doesn't mean it's a good idea.;)

 

 

Mine too. :001_rolleyes: She also wants to be a dog or a princess or even better, a princess dog. However, she is enrolled in our district enrichment program and will be starting a one day a week K class next week. She'll get lunch, recess, pe and field trips in addition to science, technology and art.

[Dinsfamily]

Not being snarky, just keepin' it real....

 

I don't think she is qualified to make that decision for herself...the question is, what is best for her? Does a 5 year old have the experience to answer that question with wisdom, understanding, and maturity. No offense, but I've never met a 5 year old that had wisdom, understanding or enough maturity to decide what is best for themselves. She doesn't understand what goes on in a classroom; how learning in a crowded classroom will vary from one-on-one instruction; the social behaviors that are undesirable; behavioral labeling; forced socialization that is not at all relevant to adulthood...etc. etc. etc.....she wants to play with people and that's Not what school is for.

 

Find other social outlets, but don't bother with school and definitely don't let a 5yo decide what is best for her.

 

:iagree: when my ds wanted to go to ps K last year after he had gone to preschool, I laid out what going to ps K meant and that was the end of it for him. He had mistakenly thought it would be the same as the play-based preschool. However, if he hadn't changed his mind, his opinion wouldn't have influenced dh and I on this subject.

[corbie]

I am truly shocked by some of these condescending and even hostile remarks. Even after I posted that the problem has been solved, people are continuing to post that my listening to my daughter's input on her education is equivalent to letting her run around naked, eating candy all day - that by listening to her, I have placed an enormous burden on her shoulders, shrugging off my responsibilities as a parent. WOW.:confused: Yes, I did ask for advice, and I got some good advice. These rantings about my lack of backbone and poor parenting skills are really off target. Makes me wonder what underlying control issues prompted the posters.

 

Back to the original topic.... I was really surprised my dd asked to go to ps. She's never even been in a ps for any reason. I don't think she really knows much about it. But her asking told me something was going on. She couldn't really verbalize what she thought she was missing. My girls are generally enthusiastic about learning and homeschooling. My older girls would never consider ps, not because I am too narrow minded to consider other options and keep them home by force but because they want to be here and want to learn. If I had just told my 5 yr old - "Forget it. I'm the boss. I don't care what you think you are missing. You're never stepping foot in a public school!" - she would have wanted it even more and would have rebelled against learning at home. Instead, I talked to her and got to the bottom of what she was feeling. She didn't care about the bus, back packs or lunch boxes. She wanted to be in a class with other kids. I signed her up for Math Games, Orchestra, Cooking, etc... It's not costing me a cent. She will be with other homeschool kids for a few hours of fun and learning each week. She is thrilled and back on board 100%. And I truly believe that because I did listen to her, her attitude about learning time at home will be positive which means more a productive home school.

[shinyhappypeople]

Corbie,

 

:grouphug:

 

Listening to your daughter is the right thing.

 

I listened to mine and a little shopping and putting her in Sunday School (a class with school in the name and with a group of kids!) and now she's fully enthusiastic about hs'ing. I'd much rather have listened to her and found a way to meet her needs appropriately than the alternative.

 

You're a good mom. Hang in there :grouphug:

 

BTW, I'm completely envious of the enrichment program you found. That sounds so cool!!

[Jenn in Mo]

I am truly shocked by some of these condescending and even hostile remarks. Even after I posted that the problem has been solved, people are continuing to post that my listening to my daughter's input on her education is equivalent to letting her run around naked, eating candy all day - that by listening to her, I have placed an enormous burden on her shoulders, shrugging off my responsibilities as a parent. WOW.:confused: Yes, I did ask for advice, and I got some good advice. These rantings about my lack of backbone and poor parenting skills are really off target. Makes me wonder what underlying control issues prompted the posters.

 

 

Sorry -this actually made me laugh a little. You received some great advice. Some of it you liked, some of it you didn't. No one ranted, they just presented an opinion of the facts presented that weren't agreeable to you. That is fine for you and fine for them.

[mama27]

Sorry, I offended you as that was not my intention. Maybe you read more into the comments than I did because I saw no rantings or mentioning that you need a backbone.

If you ask for advice on a forum you have to realize that sometimes you will not like the opinions you get.

Your post did seem (at least to me) that you were very concerned with wether or not your 5 yo child was okay with the decsion you made to homeschool her. maybe i read it wrong too.

 

I am truly shocked by some of these condescending and even hostile remarks. Even after I posted that the problem has been solved, people are continuing to post that my listening to my daughter's input on her education is equivalent to letting her run around naked, eating candy all day - that by listening to her, I have placed an enormous burden on her shoulders, shrugging off my responsibilities as a parent. WOW.:confused: Yes, I did ask for advice, and I got some good advice. These rantings about my lack of backbone and poor parenting skills are really off target. Makes me wonder what underlying control issues prompted the posters.

[corbie]

shinyhappypeople - Thanks! I needed the :grouphug:! ;) After the lashing I got, I was feeling inadequate to raise a puppy!

 

Anyway...All my dd's love their Sunday school too. My older girls actually get homework! Anyway, yes - we are very fortunate to have enrichment programs here. I actually have access to two. This was my first year to decide to not take classes at either. I think my 5 yr old had been looking forward to her chance to take these classes for a couple of years. After giving this some more thought, I suspect that was the source of her unhappiness. She's finally old enough to take classes and I decide we're going to hibernate this year. :) Duh, why didn't I see that before?

 

Thanks again.

[Tracy]

I don't think that you should let her go until she has homeschooled long enough to have something to compare it to. Even then, K is really young to let her have much say in that decision.

[parias1126]

Well, the suggestion that I'm allowing my 5 yr old to make life changing decisions is a bit offensive. The bottom line comes down to dh and myself. However, I do listen to my children. Their thoughts and needs, at whatever age, do have value in my mind. I do weigh in their feelings too when making these major decisions. I'm not a dictator.

 

We found our solution by signing her up for enrichment home school classes at our districts home school program, which we were already enrolled in - just not taking on-site classes. I don't know why I didn't think of that earlier.

 

Thank you for the thoughtful and constructive responses.

 

I completely agree with you on this. My children have a "voice" also. :001_smile:

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Wow, this thread has taken some interesting turns:001_huh: If the parents had decided that ps wasn't an option for their family I wouldn't allow a child's desire to go to public trump that because they aren't mature enough to be making that kind of decision. I also wouldn't send them to ps if ps wasn't going to be a permanent option for our family because that would amount to teasing them. That doesn't mean I wouldn't talk to the child to find out the reasons behind it to see what's up, but it would mean explaining to the child why ps isn't in their best interest and why they are being homeschooled. The same could be true about anything. I think some posters exaggerated (some jokingly) to get that point across (that children don't always know what's best for them and parents have the final say) and perhaps that was taken the wrong way. I thought they were being funny but I wasn't the OP.

 

I'm glad you got to the root of the issue and found a solution that works for your family!

[Marcy KY]

We go through this every year at the beginning of the school year. My son sees the buses and thinks it looks like fun to ride one.

 

Sometimes I go through the list of things he wouldn't get to do if he went to school (travel with dad, learn the things he wants to learn about, be home with me, co-op, etc.). But some days, like today, I just tell him God gave him parents for a reason, and we know what's best for him, right now that is homeschooling.

 

Sometimes kids just need to know they don't always have a choice.

[Miss Sherry]

I have to wonder, if a child is the one making the decision - or thinks they are the one making the decision - at the age of 3 ,4, or 5 regarding whether they will attend ps,homeschool or private school, than what types of decisions will be left for them to make by the time they are 13 or 14 or even 18.

It seems to me that decision making by children should be handed over to them gradually as they mature - maybe starting with things like which outfit to wear today from a few choices, or which piece of fruit to eat,what games will I play with my sister or friend, gradually working up to life altering "adult" size decisions like which school to attend when they near adulthood and can actually contribute something, such as part or all of the tuition.

I think that when children are grown, that is when they will resent their parents if the parent put them in the position of making "adult" size decisions when they had the maturity and reasoning skills of a toddler,preschooler, or kindergartener instead of carrying the responsbility as a parent when the child needed a parent. Of course very young children have opinions and ideas, but they are not miniature adults inside of a childs body with adult critical reasoning skills ready to make life altering decisions.

 

Perhaps giving a young child a choice of activities that fit within the education the parent has decided on will give a child some practice in decision making and in feeling they have some level of owning their own education. A child may like to hear " What would you like to work on now, math or reading - should we learn about flowers or birds this week ? "

Children do not need to be completely left out of decision making but it seems it should be appropriate to their age with the parent taking responsibility for major decisions for a young child but giving them child sized choices.

I think there is a big difference between letting the child make adult decisions and in giving them age appropriate choices. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. The "size" of the choices and decisions should grow, as the child grows. But it takes many years for children to grow into adults. Not just 3,4 or 5 years.

[MelissaMinNC]

This is jmo, but in my house, the kids don't get to decide this sort of thing. My kindergartner wants to eat ice cream instead of veggies with every meal - he's just not allowed to. My 4th grader went through a time in 1st grade of wanting to go to ps. I just explained to her that we don't, and although I listened to her complaints and concerns, in the end she had to deal with my decision. I also told her about reminded her that she got to do lots of other things that her ps friends didn't (like be done with school by about 11 am that year, and go stay with her grandmother every

Friday when other kids were in school, etc).

 

Play up the positive aspects of homeschooling, and definitely make it enjoyable as much as you can. But if you feel that being home is what's best for her, then that's your decision to make and she needs to deal. She'll be fine.

 

:)

Melissa

[Beatusduo]

We went through this with my first DS around 1st or 2nd grade. I agree with the others that it is the parent's decision, not the child's that dictate what we do in our home.

However, I asked him why he wanted to go. It came down to packing his lunch, having a lunch box and riding on a school bus.

At first I had to laugh, but these were the unknown to him and he thought he was missing out. So, we bought him a lunch box. He did use is several times to eat lunch at home. Although it wasn't a school bus, we made sure that when we had an opportunity to ride a bus, we took a ride.

I figured out later that some of the questions that he was asking came from family members asking him if he missed not going to school. Our children have never been in PS. The family issue rears up every now and then.

 

Susie

[meet me in paris]

And I truly believe that because I did listen to her, her attitude about learning time at home will be positive which means more a productive home school.

:iagree:

Good for you! I grew up in an authoritarian household, where my wishes and feeling were never given any value, and I refuse to do that to my kids. Yes, we are the parents, and yes, the ultimate decision is ours... but I firmly believe that working *with* your kids will give you much better results than simply passing down the law.

 

I'm glad you found a good solution. :)

[Jenn in Mo]

I completely agree with you on this. My children have a "voice" also. :001_smile:

 

There is a difference between having a voice and having a say. The OP's concern was that her daughter would be angry if she didn't get her way. Here's that original again:

I let her go to preschool last year. I think she misses being with all the other kids. I already have her curriculum planned and filed (all 36 weeks!). She's doing great. I've offered to plan play dates. She still thinks she missing something. I don't want her to be angry, thinking I forced homeschooling on her. But, I really don't want to deal with public school, and I think she's doing so well.

 

My kids have a voice, but it's a discussion that should occur before the decision has been made, not after. We can discuss it after all the work has been done and we've already started and I will address my child's concerns, but if I have made a decision, as the grown-up, based on what I feel is best for my child and my family....I am not going to change it because my 5 year old is going to be angry at me for my decision. My 5 year old is not going to resent me or her education because I made a decision in her best interest. And if there truly is a concern that my 5yo is going to be angry and resentful about such a decision, this strongly implies she is used to having too much say in decision making and it would be healthy for her to learn that her feelings matter, but that she doesn't get to decide things based on her feelings. Mom and Dad decide things after considering her feelings and everything else involved.

 

No matter how you slice or dice it, that is not a tongue-lashing. It's my advice based on my opinion.

 

Advice was asked for. Advice was given. Some responses were appreciated. Some were not.

[BlsdMama]

LOL, my kids would like to try bungee jumping. But it isn't for them to decide.

 

:D

[NavyWifeandMommy]

one of mine wanted to go to school because of friends going. I have the only elementry kids at home in my neighborhood. I explained our days compared to PS days. He still wanted to go. I told him he have to get up early and that sealed the deal on staying home.

[BlsdMama]

and it would be healthy for her to learn that her feelings matter, but that she doesn't get to decide things based on her feelings.

 

See, now I would be the mean mom who thinks feelings really aren't that relevant. You get an opinion. It counts for about 10%. Feelings get a whopping 5%. We don't make action decisions based on opinions or on feelings. We make actions based on what is right. Now, whether or not public school is right for your child, that's up to you. But major educational decisions should really never be decided on the temper and whim of a five year old. :tongue_smilie:

[Miss Sherry]

This is jmo, but in my house, the kids don't get to decide this sort of thing. My kindergartner wants to eat ice cream instead of veggies with every meal - he's just not allowed to. My 4th grader went through a time in 1st grade of wanting to go to ps. I just explained to her that we don't, and although I listened to her complaints and concerns, in the end she had to deal with my decision. I also told her about reminded her that she got to do lots of other things that her ps friends didn't (like be done with school by about 11 am that year, and go stay with her grandmother every

Friday when other kids were in school, etc).

 

Play up the positive aspects of homeschooling, and definitely make it enjoyable as much as you can. But if you feel that being home is what's best for her, then that's your decision to make and she needs to deal. She'll be fine.

 

:)

Melissa

 

In my house, the kids have not gotten to eat ice cream instead of veggies either.

What I was getting at was, there seem to be some parents on here who want to give "adult sized" decisions, such as whether or not to homeschool, to immature 4 or 5 year olds to decide. It seems obvious to me that the children do not have the reasoning skills to be making life altering parental decisions. If a parent believes the child must be "making decisions" , why not give them "child size" choices and decisions to make, such as "which fruit to eat" or "which outfit to wear" rather than life altering decisions.

 

I believe that children pick up on the insecurities of their parents and will push the buttons of the parents when the parent is weak on a decision. If Mom does not have her own mind made up that she IS going to homeschool or do ps, the child will know this and manipulate Mom. Children will push the boundaries to find out how much Mom or Dad is really in charge and how much they can manipulate the parents to be the one in charge instead. If a parent wants to give the child the responsibility of making the decisions the child will figure this out and run the household, but it will cause the child to be unhappy and insecure.

If you really want to give the child choices, give them choices that will not be beyond their maturity level or choices that cannot result in disastrous outcomes too heavy for the child to bear. It is not fair to make the child bear the weight of carrying responsibilities that really belong to the parent.

[EKS]

In our family, we homeschool, and from your signature, it looks like that's the lifestyle you've chosen for your family as well. I don't allow my children to make this sort of decision. Frankly, a 5yo has no basis for making such a decision.

[Miss Sherry]

See, now I would be the mean mom who thinks feelings really aren't that relevant. You get an opinion. It counts for about 10%. Feelings get a whopping 5%. We don't make action decisions based on opinions or on feelings. We make actions based on what is right. Now, whether or not public school is right for your child, that's up to you. But major educational decisions should really never be decided on the temper and whim of a five year old. :tongue_smilie:

 

Good for you. In my thinking it is so irresponsible to give the authority to decide whether or not to homeschool to an immature 5 year old, who obviously has NOT had the opportunity to grow up and develop critical thinking skills and integrate their value system into all of their thinking. Perhaps some parents are unwilling to take responsibility for the decisions which effect their children.

Do we ask our 4 or 5 year old what job Daddy should be working at or if we run a business, how much money should we invest in advertising this year or is it time for Grandma who is suffering from dementia to be in a care center or can the family still provide sufficient care at home ? Of course not. The responsibility does not belong to the child. They do not have the experience or thinking skills to make these decisions.

How a child is educated will have a lasting impact on their mental, social, spiritual and physical well being for a very long time. They do not have the experience or insight to understand the implications of the impact of this type of decision any more than they have the insight to decide whether or not Grandma needs to be in a care center. They may have "feelings" and "opinions" about whether or not to homeschool, and "feelings" about whether or not Grandma should be in a care center. But as another poster has already pointed out, "feelings" do not equal an adult level decision making process or adult level decision making skills.

Edited September 3, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[shinyhappypeople]

I don't think the OP was suggesting that her 5 yo should make the decision. In fact, I'm pretty sure she said just that. Sounds like she wants to win her DD over to the idea of homeschooling by listening to her DD's feelings and making reasonable adjustments and additions. She's NOT expecting a child to make adult decisions or any of the other nonsense she's been accused of.

[shinyhappypeople]

Good for you. In my thinking it is so irresponsible to give the authority to decide whether or not to homeschool to an immature 5 year old, who obviously has NOT had the opportunity to grow up and develop critical thinking skills and integrate their value system into all of their thinking. Perhaps some parents are unwilling to take responsibility for the decisions which effect their children.

Do we ask our 4 or 5 year old what job Daddy should be working at or if we run a business, how much money should we invest in advertising this year or is it time for Grandma who is suffering from dementia to be in a care center or can the family still provide sufficient care at home ? Of course not. The responsibility does not belong to the child. They do not have the experience or thinking skills to make these decisions.

How a child is educated will have a lasting impact on their mental, social, spiritual and physical well being for a very long time. They do not have the experience or insight to understand the implications of the impact of this type of decision.

 

That's not what the OP was doing. Not at all. Listening to you child's concerns and finding a way to fulfill reasonable requests (a lunchbox, a weekly "class" experience, a bus ride) is not the same thing as letting her DD decide whether or not she's homeschooled.

 

Sounds like the OP just wants to make the homeschool experience a positive one for her DD. How scandalous. :tongue_smilie:

[JudoMom]

I let her go to preschool last year. I think she misses being with all the other kids. I already have her curriculum planned and filed (all 36 weeks!). She's doing great. I've offered to plan play dates. She still thinks she missing something. I don't want her to be angry, thinking I forced homeschooling on her. But, I really don't want to deal with public school, and I think she's doing so well.

 

I thought of seeing if the local ps would give us a tour so she could see what it was like. I afraid, though, that it will look great to her. Do I enroll her and let her try it out? I think she will end up wanting to come home - but what a hassle!

 

Any advice?

 

Why are you homeschooling her? You're the mom; you make the decision. If your reasons are valid, then homeschool her. If her social need is more valid than your reasons for homeschooling, then send her to ps.

 

FWIW, my middle son really wanted to go to school when he was K/1 (wasn't an option). He's my most social boy. We did a couple of enrichment co-ops, which we all enjoyed. I noticed that some time within the last year, he's started saying how glad he is that he's homeschooled, and that he plans for his children to be homeschooled.

[Miss Sherry]

That's not what the OP was doing. Not at all. Listening to you child's concerns and finding a way to fulfill reasonable requests (a lunchbox, a weekly "class" experience, a bus ride) is not the same thing as letting her DD decide whether or not she's homeschooled.

 

Sounds like the OP just wants to make the homeschool experience a positive one for her DD. How scandalous. :tongue_smilie:

Actually, saying " I LET her go to preschool last year" does indeed imply the child made the decision in that. Fearing the childs anger, which the OP has stated, in regards in whether or not they homeschool, is also implying giving over decision making to the child.

We will have to agree to disagree. You can mock the parents on here who stand firm in taking the responsibility for making the educational decisions for their children all you want, however, I do not think mocking will change a thinking persons mind in any way.

The OP asked for opinions, received opinions, listened to some but ridiculed others.

In adult discussions we "discuss" ideas, rather than mock and throw out insults such as using terms like "scandalous".

I believe I am done "discussing" this with you since you are in "mocking" mode.

[shinyhappypeople]

Actually, saying " I LET her go to preschool last year" does indeed imply the child made the decision in that. Fearing the childs anger, which the OP has stated, in regards in whether or not they homeschool, is also implying giving over decision making to the child.

We will have to agree to disagree. You can mock the parents on here who stand firm in taking the responsibility for making the educational decisions for their children all you want, however, I do not think mocking will change a thinking persons mind in any way.

The OP asked for opinions, received opinions, listened to some but ridiculed others.

In adult discussions we "discuss" ideas, rather than mock and throw out insults such as using terms like "scandalous".

I believe I am done "discussing" this with you since you are in "mocking" mode.

 

I have disagreed with some opinions (including yours), but I'm not mocking anyone, nor have I insulted anyone. However, in the post I'm replying to, you've done both clearly and directly to me.

[Happy2BaMom]

We will have to agree to disagree. You can mock the parents on here who stand firm in taking the responsibility for making the educational decisions for their children all you want, however, I do not think mocking will change a thinking persons mind in any way.

The OP asked for opinions, received opinions, listened to some but ridiculed others.

In adult discussions we "discuss" ideas, rather than mock and throw out insults such as using terms like "scandalous".

I believe I am done "discussing" this with you since you are in "mocking" mode.

 

 

Miss Sherry, you seem to preach better than you practice.

 

********************************************

 

 

To the OP - this is life on this board - it is a very diverse crowd and sometimes you get help, sometimes you don't.

 

You sound like a considerate mother, one who wants to consider more than one angle and one solution to your child's stated interest(s). That does not make you irresponsible one, but it might irk some people who do only allow one solution for their child(ren).

 

There are benefits and risks to letting your daughter try kindergarten. We sent our son even though we planned on starting homeschooling in 3rd grade. My husband was adamant about it (though I supported the decision) - hubbie, as he put it, had "met far too many homeschooled children who considered public school to be the most-wonderful-thing-they-never-got-to-try....a-place-you-can-be-with-your-friends-all-day"). Sometimes if kids never get to experience the mind-numbing schedule of a public school they never realize there are drawbacks.

 

BTW - our son loved kindergarten but HATED first grade. He has no desire to ever return to ps at this point. So sometimes it works out very well.

Best of luck in YOUR decision.

[Miss Sherry]

I have disagreed with some opinions (including yours), but I'm not mocking anyone, nor have I insulted anyone. However, in the post I'm replying to, you've done both clearly and directly to me.

 

Perhaps I am over reacting to what sounds like a tone of mocking to me. Using the term "scandalous" sounded to me like you were mocking other posters opinions.Perhaps I misread what lead you to say "scandalous". It did sound to me like you were making fun of the thinking regarding parental decision making by using the term "scandalous" but perhaps you meant "scandalous" some other way.

 

Perhaps you can clarify how you came to say "scandalous". Maybe your train of thought was not at all what it seemed to be to me, and being disrespectful and mocking was not involved. If so, I am sorry for saying you were mocking.

[HollyB]

My daughter went to preschool, and we satreted homeschooling in kindergarten. She resisted the idea at first. Naturally, she wanted to be with her friends and have all the fun that she experienced in preschool. I tried to replicate some of the things she liked about it, such as circle time, singing the same songs, even library day was the same. I also reminded her that kindy is not as much "playtime" as preschool.

 

Then I showed her how great it was to be home. I let her do her school work in her princess ballgowns, a lot more art, we had even more field trips, including extra library days, we went to a monthly science class at the children's museum, and gym class at the YMCA. It only took about a month for her to realize that being home could be just as fun.

 

Good luck with your decision! :)

[corbie]

Wow, this thing really grew legs and took off.

 

Maybe my post got lost in all the mud slinging. Dd won't be going to ps. I signed her up for enrichment classes one day a week. She's thrilled.

 

This post has been....enlightening.:001_huh: There are some very different parenting views out there.

 

Shinyhappypeople & Happy2baMom - Thanks for speaking up in my defense. I think I must have hit a nerve with a couple of people out there. Ouch.;)

[mama27]

I agree, that's how I read the message.

 

 

"Actually, saying " I LET her go to preschool last year" does indeed imply the child made the decision in that. Fearing the childs anger, which the OP has stated, in regards in whether or not they homeschool, is also implying giving over decision making to the child."

[EKS]

I don't think the OP was suggesting that her 5 yo should make the decision. In fact, I'm pretty sure she said just that. Sounds like she wants to win her DD over to the idea of homeschooling by listening to her DD's feelings and making reasonable adjustments and additions. She's NOT expecting a child to make adult decisions or any of the other nonsense she's been accused of.

 

Perhaps you're right. I only read the original post.