What should college kids pay for?

[GraciebytheBay]

My ds 18 will be a college freshman in just a few weeks. He will be living at home. We have discussed with him some of the things he'll be responsible to pay for, including:

 

1/2 cell phone bill

gas to/from college and work

insurance (once he gets his license in a few weeks)

1/2 college textbooks

 

He works 25 hours a week during the summer but will cut his hours down to about 12 during the school year.

 

Is there anything else he should be paying for? What opinions do you have about who buys their clothing? His older brother pays for about 1/2 of his clothing, but he lives on campus and only works about 7 hours a week. Thoughts? Thanks, everyone!:)

[Chris in VA]

Well, my eldest pays one-fourth of all his college expenses, including room and board, tuition and books. It comes to around $5000. He won a scholarship this year and that knocks it down to 4k. He also pays his insurance (about 1K) and all his entertainment/spending money expenses, and gas. He was lucky this summer to get a job as a painter, and he is picked up every day and doesn't need to waste gas. We gave him tips on how to lessen his expenses, and he will probably pay more attention to them next year. It's all an experiment, of sorts!

 

Ds18 will live at home until he's accepted at 4 year school, so no room and board expenses for him, and tuition is considerably less. He has to buy a car (using his own $ given to him by his aunt--other ds had someone give him a car for $1!), pay for his cell phone, pay anything over $30 a month on his cell plan, and for this semester, pay for CC expenses and books. It comes to roughly 2K for school (4 classes) and about $1200 for car insurance. He pays gas, too, although I know I'll occasionally fill his tank for him, or at least throw a couple of gallons in there for him.

 

Dh had to pay all his college expenses, and I had to just pay for books.

 

There is no "should" in my opinion--what works for your family.

[Disney Dreaming]

Well, dd has HOPE scholarship and as long as her grades are good and she keeps it all she pays for is gas. There was a time she couldn't work and take a full load and we paid gas too. As long as we are not paying tuition we don't expect her to pay anything else. We would rather her concentrate on making good grades than paying for other things. We pay about 1800/year in fees(that HOPE doesn't pay), parking, and books.

[QueenCat]

I think it really depends on your family and other dynamics. Ds will be a college junior. His scholarships cover tuition, books, plus around $3600 to use as he wishes for expenses. He uses that for gas (he commutes), lunches on campus, and spending money. His cell phone is only $10/month on our family plan so we just cover that, as he really only uses it to contact us, he's not a big phone person and would give it up rather than pay for it. We want him to have it for emergencies and such. He pays for his car insurance, we pay the maintenance (it's minimal, and we own the car). He doesn't buy clothes but he's pretty basic in that department. He gets clothes for Christmas and birthday gifts, and I buy the rest. It's not much as he could care less about brand names. He saves his pet sitting business money towards the future.

[Tabrett]

Cell Phone

Gas

Spending Money

Clothes

Car insurance

toiletries

 

Everything but school/books, food, housing and health insurance.

[Lolly]

This is really going to vary by family. We plan to pay for all necessary expenses while our dc are in college. That would include everything you listed. I also do not expect my dc to work while in school. School is their job. If they choose to work, that is fine. It will not be required.

[KellyinPA]

Our dd will be going to community college for two years and then, hopefully, transfer to finish her degree. We are paying for the CC, she is responsible for books, gas and maintenence on her car. It's her car, she paid for it, we pay her insurance. She will be working 24 hours a week so she can have spending money as well as save some. She buys some of her clothing and we supplement when needed.

[Daisy]

What *should* they pay for? I don't really know the answer to that. I was on my own by then and paid for everything (room & board, tuition, books, clothes, medical bills, etc.). Of course that was back in the day when a car, cell phones, and personal computers were not considered near-mandatory items.

 

Bottom line, I expect my children to be adults at that point and well on their way to self-sufficiency.

[Annie]

I had progressively more responsibility each year, and it worked out really well. The first year, my parents paid for almost everything. It was a good transition. I paid for clothes, any food I wanted above the basic student meal plan, and some of my books. By my senior year, I was paying part of my tuition, all of my food, rent, utilities, books - pretty much everything. It would have seemed completely overwhelming to me as a freshman, but when more was added on each year, it was quite manageable. I was also able to get better paying jobs/internships as my skills developed which made it possible for me to afford more of my expenses.

 

As a side note, I never had a car. I was on an urban campus, and it didn't make all that much sense. That saved a ton of money. My parents also paid my cell phone, but it was a $10/month basic plan.

[Night Elf]

Dd18 is pretty self-sufficient already. If she does go to college, she can live at home to save money. We'll try to help her pay for some fees and books but are relying on the HOPE scholarship to pay the bulk. We consider college age to be adult and don't feel we are obligated to provide education beyond high school. Both DH and I were on our own at age 18, so we feel it's perfectly natural. She is quite adamant that she will go through college without a loan. Her dad and stepmom think she's stupid for not wanting to take a loan. Duh.

[GraciebytheBay]

Wow, your responses have really given us something to think about. I do wonder how he will handle a job and a full course load. Dh thinks he needs a job to pay for the things I listed. He wants the kids to get used to paying for some things for practice and to appreciate what they have more. He feels, as do I, that our kids tend to appreciate things more when they have to work for them. I will admit that this particular young man has MUCH more of a taste for name brand clothing and toiletries. I think we spend twice as much (or more) on him than on ds20.

 

Regarding college, dh is a professor and we have a tuition exchange benefit for the college ds is going to which covers all tuition (not fees or books).

 

Like someone above said, this is all new to us! Honestly, I think having young adults is much more difficult than toddlers ever were.:tongue_smilie:

 

Thank you again for your responses. I am going to read them again and make a list. I go back and forth between agreeing with the poster who will not have her kids pay for anything nor require a job and those who have their kids pay for much more than mine! Yikes, I need to make up my mind, be sure dh and I are in agreement, then stick to a plan. Wish us luck!

[GraciebytheBay]

I had progressively more responsibility each year, and it worked out really well. The first year, my parents paid for almost everything. It was a good transition. I paid for clothes, any food I wanted above the basic student meal plan, and some of my books. By my senior year, I was paying part of my tuition, all of my food, rent, utilities, books - pretty much everything. It would have seemed completely overwhelming to me as a freshman, but when more was added on each year, it was quite manageable. I was also able to get better paying jobs/internships as my skills developed which made it possible for me to afford more of my expenses.

 

 

This makes a lot of sense to me. Great idea to start them off slowly, then gradually increase their responsibility.

[AngieW in Texas]

I had a scholarship that covered my tuition. My parents paid for my car insurance and gas all 4 years and paid for my room and board the first year. I paid everything else. I worked 20-25 hours/week starting at the beginning of 12th grade. I worked no more than 10 hours/week while I was taking a full load in college (usually had 18 hours/semester), but I worked 40 hours/week during the summers by signing up with temp agencies.

 

My oldest has been trying to find a job, but hasn't had any luck. She's filled out at least 10 applications/week all summer. She's had 6 interviews. Nobody seems to be interested in hiring teenagers who don't already have work experience when there are adults applying for the same jobs.

 

I want her to pay for all of her non-tuition and non-r&b expenses for college herself. I don't know that it will happen since she can't find a job. I really really really want her to find a job. She is looking. She just isn't finding.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I think this is very individual to each family and child.

 

I'm a college student. I pay for most of our expenses, but my parents do still pay my cell phone and car insurance. But over the years, I have helped them out in paying their bills. Even though DD and I live 3 hours away, we are still a very communal family, and work together to support all of us, including my cousin who lives with my parents.

 

For DD, I hope to be able to pay for everything. If she is working hard in school, I don't expect her to work and go to school, because I know firsthand how stressful it is. I'll (hopefully) pay tuition, books, insurance, cell phone, etc. If she wants more than what I can afford (such as a luxery apartment instead of rooming in with others, or a new car, or a top of the line laptop...etc.) then she can get a job and work for that. My support will be contingent on a 3.0 GPA. If she falls below that, I'll continue to pay tuition and books, but everything else will be her responsibility.

Of course, we have over 10 years before college, so check back in then!

[Jeanne in MN]

I don't see anything wrong with working during college. I worked my tail off to afford to pay for college. I had to pay for everything on my own. Car, insurance, phone bills, clothing, books, tuition, room and board-everything. I think tuition has risen so much in the past 15 years, though, that I'm unsure how possible it is today for a student to do it all on their own.

 

I would say, though, make them work for it as much as possible. I've seen too many kids hindered by being coddled. They didn't know how to manage their finances to save thier souls. I think you appreciate and value your education more if you've invested as much of it yourself as possible too.

[Mama Geek]

I want her to pay for all of her non-tuition and non-r&b expenses for college herself. I don't know that it will happen since she can't find a job. I really really really want her to find a job. She is looking. She just isn't finding.

 

Has she looked for a job on campus? It has been many years and in a different economic time since I was in college, but I worked in the college library for 1 1/2 years. There are also lots of other jobs that students can get on campus. Most of these jobs are really good about working around class schedule as well.

[Mom0012]

My sdd pays for her cell phone, car insurance, gas and entertainment.

 

Lisa

 

ETA: She also buys most of her clothes and toiletries.

Edited August 9, 2010 by LisaTheresa

[DawnM]

Well, we have discussed this at length and it still may change before our oldest goes to college, but.....

 

My oldest has Asperger's. He really struggles in school. I would prefer him to focus on school and not work while in college as I don't think he could handle both, but he may have major maturity and academic growth by the time he is 18 or 19, so I am not ruling it out, but I don't want it to be mandatory.

 

So, we will provide the following for each child:

 

Living expenses at HOME.

Local CC or 4 year school tuition, fees, and necessary books.

driving an older car (belonging to us for their use for school only)

gas for to and from school use.

A lunch box to take food from home! ;-)

 

Beyond that:

 

No idea about cell phone

No idea about extra expenses

 

We just haven't though that far ahead.

 

Anything beyond the above (ie: want to live on campus or want to go to a more expensive school far away, etc...), they will have to cover the difference.

 

Dawn

[Pamela H in Texas]

JMO (and I haven't read anyone's posts yet), but I would not raise the "you're responsible to pay for these things" level for an 18yo living at home and going to school. Necessary school expenses would be paid as always. In our family, going to school buys you a little more time (and not going to school throws you into the pool, though not necessarily the deep end).

 

But before 18, I would have changed *how* it was done while they were still teenagers so they would have learned responsibility. Teenagers have clothing allowances (maybe once or twice a year depending). They get what they want or need with that money. Anything beyond that allowance comes from their own money. I paid the cell phone bill, so I'll continue doing so. But if you want something more on your phone, you pay for it. If you want a special phone (not the free or $10 one), then you'll be paying for that also.

 

I'm a little iffy about car insurance. This is really due to a personal situation in our family. GENERALLY, I do agree that if a person drives, he pays his own insurance, gas, etc. And of course a teen or adult pays for any extras.

 

ETA: I agree that there is not a "should." Different families AND different children.....

Edited August 9, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Night Elf]

Has she looked for a job on campus? It has been many years and in a different economic time since I was in college, but I worked in the college library for 1 1/2 years. There are also lots of other jobs that students can get on campus. Most of these jobs are really good about working around class schedule as well.

 

That can be difficult right now. I looked on my campus and the few positions they had were only for students who were rewarded Work Study Aid in their financial aid packages.

[TheCoffeeChick]

When I went to college, I had a scholarship that covered tuition, so the only "school fees" I had were room & board and books - I had to pay for half of that.

 

My parents paid for insurance.

 

I paid gas, phone and food not included in school costs (read this as Friday night pizza or food to stock the minifridge).

 

I only worked during the summer because I found my grades slipping while working and going to school at the same time. When I ran out of money before the school year ended, my parents replenished my checking account without complaining too much. ;)

 

After my first year of college I got married, then I had to pay 100% of everything.

[Quiver0f10]

Well my kids pay their own cell phone, gas, car insurance, clothing and pay for their own college. I do not feel obligated to pay for my kid's college education.

 

Edited to add: if we had the money we would pay for it, no problem. But I don't feel like we should have to pay for it and there is no way my Dh and I could afford to right now anyways.

 

So far my 20 yo has some scholarships, some grants and some loans, plus he works part time. He also just finished a paid internship for the summer. Both my soon to be 19 yo and 21 year old have some grants, some loans and work.

Edited August 9, 2010 by Quiver0f10

[Ottakee]

Well, I had a scholarship that paid for tuition and books but I paid for the rest of my stuff by working---clothing, entertainment, car insurance, gas, rent, etc. Then again, I had paid for most of my own expenses (other than housing and food) since I was 12. Our family just didn't have the money to pay for things so if I wanted it, I paid for it myself.

 

I would say it would also depend on your family situation. Do you and dh have a solid retirement account? Is your son very helpful around the house or just "living there"?

 

I do agree with the person who suggested a plan to pay less and less as he goes through the college years.

 

NOW would be the time for a Dave Ramsey or other financial planning class.

[QueenCat]

Has she looked for a job on campus? It has been many years and in a different economic time since I was in college, but I worked in the college library for 1 1/2 years. There are also lots of other jobs that students can get on campus. Most of these jobs are really good about working around class schedule as well.

 

 

That may work in some places... but ds college reserves ALL campus jobs (except the bookstore as they are a private business) for students qualifying for needs based financial aid. This is separate from their federal work study jobs and their scholarship service hour jobs (academic scholars are required to give 75 hours semester in specific jobs, like the library).

[QueenCat]

My oldest has Asperger's. He really struggles in school. I would prefer him to focus on school and not work while in college as I don't think he could handle both, but he may have major maturity and academic growth by the time he is 18 or 19, so I am not ruling it out, but I don't want it to be mandatory.

Dawn

 

We'll be dealing with this with our younger son. We feel that the social demands, along with the academics, are likely to be all he can handle during the school year. At least the first year or two. He'll be dual enrolling one class this fall so that will give us a better idea of how he handles the campus atmosphere.

[AngieW in Texas]

She's a dual credit student at the cc right now. They will give on-campus jobs only to people who are regularly enrolled, not dual credit enrolled.

[Liza Q]

Our oldest lives at home so it cuts down on her college expenses tremendously! She has a scholarship that covers about 3/4 of her tuition and we pay most of the rest - we gave her a dollar amount when she was applying to colleges and told her that was all we could contribute each year to whatever school she chose. So she puts some money towards her tuition as well.

 

We pay for what we consider home expenses - clothing, food, cell phone, toiletries. She pays for anything extravagant and she is very reasonable about it. Chanel perfume and clothing from Anthroplogie are not in our budget! She benefits from living at home in other ways - my husband is good about picking her up when she goes out at night, if we are all going out together to see Toy Story 3 or have Chinese food, we pay, she can choose movies from Netflix and watch cable as we are already paying for them, etc.

 

She pays for her school books, meals and snacks that she buys on school days, Metrocard (bus/subway is much cheaper and easier than a car here), entertainment - movies, museums, meals with friends- and personal stuff that we won't' cover (like the perfume!)

 

She has been saving for years so she had a few thousand saved before she started working part time as a HS Senior and saved most of what she made at that job. Her current summer job is also part time and she is not making anywhere near as much as we had hoped :glare: However, she will have enough to get her through this school year and we are hoping for a better job next summer!

 

We prefer that she does not work during the school year as we want her to keep her 4.0. This year she will have her commute, school choir and hospital volunteering 1x week on top of her classes and we think it is enough - we want her stress level to stay manageable. Next year she may have to work during the semester....we will see what happens!

[jld]

I think we pretty much plan to pay for everything. I want the kids to come stay with us in India (if we're still here) for a month over Christmas, and for the 3 months in the summer, so I don't see a job for them happening. I think they could do volunteer work here, though.

 

If we're living in America again at some point, maybe they could get jobs. But I want to see them, too. I guess we just don't know the future.

[rookie]

What should college kids pay for?

 

 

College. :001_smile:

[Hannah C.]

To those who've mentioned trying to get on-campus jobs..I think at most colleges those jobs are only given to those who have work-study or work opportunity (aka need based financial aid awarded by FAFSA). The amount of money they can earn per year is also capped. My first three years of college, it was $2000 per year. This year it will be $1200. The amount varies by college however.

 

Before I got married, when I was living on campus in a student apartment, I paid for food, occasional gas for friends (I didn't have a car and I didn't drive), and whatever I decided to buy. I occasionally bought school supplies and toiletries. My parents paid for my cell phone. I paid for my computer.

 

For those who want their kids paying more, I would keep in mind how much they are actually earning per month and whether it's feasible for them to work more. In this economy it's hard to get a job. Some jobs frown heavily on having employees with other hefty time commitments. And a full load at college is hard. I have friends who can work 40 hours a week, take over 15 hours of college, and still make amazing grades. I couldn't do that, the stress would kill me. In other words, work with your child on a budget so you don't accidentally demand more than they can actually do. Of course there are always mitigating circumstances which you know best, so there isn't a one size fits all solution.