Does anyone here have a wide spread in childrens' ages?

[mommyoftwinboys]

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I have 8 year old twins and we have contemplated starting again. I have soooo much fear inside me about starting over but I also fear not doing it, ywim? I feel like I'm not ready to end this stage in my life but so many people look at me like I'm crazy it makes me second guess what I'm feeling.

Any advice?

[Tree House Academy]

My sons are 4 years, 2 mos apart. However, I have two good friends with daughters are 9 years apart! :)

[coffeegal]

Thanks so much for starting this thread. I have 8 year old twins and we have contemplated starting again. I have soooo much fear inside me about starting over but I also fear not doing it, ywim? I feel like I'm not ready to end this stage in my life but so many people look at me like I'm crazy it makes me second guess what I'm feeling.

Any advice?

 

Look ahead... what would you regret more in 5 - 20 years? Having another baby, or stopping with the twins? Do you see yourself with another? And also, what does your dh think? :) Best of luck with your decision.

[mommyoftwinboys]

Good advice coffeegal (-:

[coop]

Mine are 15, 13, 7 and 5. This first two were boys and I desparately wanted a girl. We tried and tried and tried. When we gave up...:) I got my girl. THEN I found out I was pregnant with #4. I cried and they were not tears of joy. But, it only took me a few hours to get over that. I can't imagine life without my little M now:)

 

I'll take my little blessings however and whenever God wants to send them!

[Hyzenthlay in Pa.]

32, 30, 28,26, 14,& 12

Yes, it was a choice made in advance.

I'm much easier going, but less energy.

The hard part is having teens & 8 grandchildren.

[StartingOver]

32, 30, 28,26, 14,& 12

Yes, it was a choice made in advance.

I'm much easier going, but less energy.

The hard part is having teens & 8 grandchildren.

 

Your not kidding there !!! But mine is preschoolers and 8 grandbabies. To top it off I was pregnant ( at the same time as they were ) with one of our daughters twice, one daughter once, and missed the other two by less than 2 weeks, or I would have been pregnant with all of them. ;-)

 

Kids are 30, 29, 25, 24, 22, 20, 18, 4, 2 -

Grandbabies are 12, 10, 8, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1.

Edited June 7, 2010 by alatexan68

[Cortana]

I have 10, 9, and 2. I wouldn't have chosen to have the first 2 as close together as they are, or for Schmooey to be so far apart, but I have to tell you that God had is all worked out for me. If I hadn't had Abbie so close to Emma, I am quite sure I could have talked myself out of having another child - EVER. Also, we have enjoyed Schmooey TREMENDOUSLY, having him so far apart from the girls. It was a shock to my system, no doubt, starting over with an infant again, but it has been a blast. With the girls, I thought I was losing my mind for about 5 years. If you knew me IRL then, you would probably say that I was right about that! :D With Isaac, though, just having ONE baby has been amazing. I mentioned in another thread that I've had such a good time with him, I wish I hadn't had my tubes tied. Dh says he's really done with me being pregnant though. Apparently I was very crabby, although I have no memory of this. :lol:

 

I feel exactly the same, lol!! Only difference is we did choose to have the 2 oldest close together.

 

I have a 10, almost 9 and almost 2 (their birthdays are in August a week apart). And I'm the exact opposite, 2 boys then a girl. :001_smile:

 

Dh and I definately felt like we were starting over again, but we wouldn't trade it for anything. Katie was a long time coming (4 years of trying with 2 miscarriages) but she is so worth it and her brothers adore her. It has been an adjustment, but I love it so much. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

Your not kidding there !!! But mine is preschoolers and 8 grandbabies. To top it off I was pregnant with one of our daughters twice, one daughter once, and missed the other two by less than 2 weeks, or I would have been pregnant with all of them. ;-)

 

Kids are 30, 29, 25, 24, 22, 20, 18, 4, 2 - Grandbabies are 12, 10, 8, 4, 2, 2, 1, 1.

 

OK - you were seriously messing with my mind! I was wondering how in the world you could have one daughter in your womb twice! And then how you could miss the other two by less than two weeks! :confused: Then I realized that you were pregnant as the same time they were!:D

[StartingOver]

OK - you were seriously messing with my mind! I was wondering how in the world you could have one daughter in your womb twice! And then how you could miss the other two by less than two weeks! :confused: Then I realized that you were pregnant as the same time they were!:D

 

:lol: Family get togethers were pretty funny, with all of us breast feeding. My husband and sons would just clear the room !!!!

Edited June 7, 2010 by alatexan68

[LibraryLover]

I think people say dramatic things sometimes and it's nothing we need to take personally. Of course she would not actually kill herself. (Unless she was ill). I know I have said 'I would have to kill myself if....." It's not a nice sounding thing to say, but i think a lot of us have said it. I have 4 years between my first, and then 5 between my 3rd and 4th. The older two were 6 and 10. My middle two are only 15 months apart.

 

I love my age spans, but I know a lot of folks who preferred having children close in age. That's totally understandable, imo.

[Alphabetika]

:glare::confused::lol:

 

That's kind of a bold statement, isn't it??? Kill herself?? I have a 14yo and a newborn...how about that for spread apart. It's awesome!!! :001_smile: I appreciate the newborn so much more since I know how fast the time goes!!

:iagree:

[Alphabetika]

There are 15 years between my oldest and youngest.

 

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

 

:iagree:

[elfgivas]

ours are 26, 24, 11,10....

[Violet Crown]

My girls are 14, 7, and 2. The teenager is a great help with the baby, and I wish I'd had my 40+ year-old patience and experience when the first one was born. (Though baby all-nighters were easier in my twenties....)

 

The downside is, what with my having gone gray early, and the 14yo looking a few years older than her real age, a startling number of people, seeing dd pushing the stroller, have felt free to announce "Your daughter and granddaughter are lovely!" or "Do I see three generations?"--always with a huge smile. Grrrr. I nearly bit the head off a border cop at the TX/NM border when the guy peered into the van and said "Ma'am, these your children and grandchildren?"

 

Of course it's worse for 14yo dd, having all these people think she's a teenage mom!

[Georgia On My Mind]

We have what we call our two litters: 40, 38,37 Bumper sticker litter then second SURPRISE litter 23,21 (same hubby 44 years)

 

The first three were a blast together then came a 14 year gap when we thought we were finished. SURPRISE! We then had two more (both surprises in mid-life LOL) that kept our youth. All five are close and we also have five grandchildren. My 40 year old was the first homeschool graduate in our county. I homeschool the oldest dgdd (my oldest daughters child) and my second daughter homeschools her four. They all live closeby and my homeschooling second daughter/mother and I go on fieldtrips together with all our students who are my grandchildren. It's a great life. I've been homeschooling off and on for almost 30 years.

[Heather in Neverland]

Mine are exactly 6 years apart each...12, 6 and an infant. I love the age span!!!!!

[PineFarmMom]

We have what we call our two litters: 40, 38,37 Bumper sticker litter then second SURPRISE litter 23,21 (same hubby 44 years)

 

The first three were a blast together then came a 14 year gap when we thought we were finished. SURPRISE! We then had two more (both surprises in mid-life LOL) that kept our youth. All five are close and we also have five grandchildren. My 40 year old was the first homeschool graduate in our county. I homeschool the oldest dgdd (my oldest daughters child) and my second daughter homeschools her four. They all live closeby and my homeschooling second daughter/mother and I go on fieldtrips together with all our students who are my grandchildren. It's a great life. I've been homeschooling off and on for almost 30 years.

 

Awesome story!!! :)

[blessed3x]

20, 19 & 8

 

I would not change a thing.

[FloridaLisa]

When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

 

She must look at the baby years as punishment? Something just to get through? :001_huh: Not a great attitude for a new baby at any stage, IMHO.

 

Lisa

[RahRah]

:D Didn't think of that. I mean I was trying to give dd some companionship during that time, but it wasn't working. I had really given up and when #2 just.... appeared.

 

If it hadn't taken so long, I would have liked more children.

 

Same here....DS is turning six in August and we are finally expecting again - years of trying and losses, and now it appears he'll be a big brother sometime in January....we just saw a heartbeat on Saturday!

[Donna A.]

My girls are 14, 7, and 2. The teenager is a great help with the baby, and I wish I'd had my 40+ year-old patience and experience when the first one was born. (Though baby all-nighters were easier in my twenties....)

 

The downside is, what with my having gone gray early, and the 14yo looking a few years older than her real age, a startling number of people, seeing dd pushing the stroller, have felt free to announce "Your daughter and granddaughter are lovely!" or "Do I see three generations?"--always with a huge smile. Grrrr. I nearly bit the head off a border cop at the TX/NM border when the guy peered into the van and said "Ma'am, these your children and grandchildren?"

 

Of course it's worse for 14yo dd, having all these people think she's a teenage mom!

 

This would be my ONLY concern about having another baby at my age. Maybe it's selfish or prideful, I don't know, but while I'd love, love, love to have another baby (not even sure if I CAN given my history of miscarriages), I'm afraid I'd feel angry and embarrassed at these kinds of scenarios. :blush:

 

I was adopted and raised by my aunt and uncle who were older... and since there were 23 years between them, my (adopted) dad really WAS grandparent age (60's and beyond) when I was growing up. While he was very active and physically strong, and stayed busy well into his 80's/early 90's (he died at 96), he'd had white hair since long before I came around, and *I* resented the fact that we were often confused for grandparent/granddaughter. :glare:

 

My sister was 20 years my senior, and her kids felt more like my siblings. I didn't mind that at all. :) It was just the grandparent/granddaughter confusion out in public that bothered me.

 

So as a mother in my upper 40's, I'd still love to have more children. But from the perspective of the child (and even my 14yo's perspective... I don't want her to feel embarrassed at the incorrect labeling, either), I have very mixed feelings about it.

 

Of course, my situation was a little different than y'alls, too, since there was such a large age gap between my parents.

 

In the meantime, I'm keeping MY hair colored for a while. :lol:

[cjbeach]

I am 13 years YOUNGER than my youngest brother. We don't even know one another...not well. I'm closer to their children.

My brothers are 13,15, and 17 years older than me. I was my parents Mid Life baby (mom was 40 when she had me).

It was touchy because I am 9 mos older than my youngest nephew!!!! My brothers had some pent up animosity toward me, viewing me as someone my parents doted on. As a young girl my oldest brother (a whackadoo) made my life hell - and yes, he did have a family of his own. But he didn't want to hear my parents talk about ME when all he wanted was for them to dote on his children. Make sense? He was jealous. My parents WERE doting grandparents but he wanted all of their attention directed toward his family and did not want to hear about me, or what I was doing. For years I was cut out of the equation. :001_huh: I am the black sheep.

 

Brother #3 is my favorite but his wife...wow... no matter WHAT I do I will always be the bratty 7 yo.:confused: And I really was not a brat, I was 7. She has gone out of her way to NOT like me and I'm 40 now.

And honestly, I wasn't given anything more than my brothers. I was a hard worker though, bought my own things, and paid for my own education..but they can't see that. My brothers were partiers, they chose a different path in life (drugs, drinking, early families) whereas I paid to go to college.

We're family... I "do" for them and they chalk it up to me being the only girl and that's the thing I SHOULD DO. But it will never be a reciprocal relationship. When my mom was sick, it fell to me to take care of her and I happily did so because I was single. Then she passed and we all stopped communicating. There was no need anymore. When I got married no one even sent me a card. Brother #3 did come see me when I had DS #1. That was it.

Now that I have a family and moved out of state my youngest brother (#3- with the wife) took in my dad and again, no matter WHAT I do, my SIL despises me - now because she has my dad.

 

It's always family politics..I get that. Just describing and venting the issues I've encountered as the grown child of a family with BIG age differences.

Edited June 7, 2010 by cjbeach
sorry for the errors.typos

[Chrystal]

17, 15, and 7. And yes, we did it on purpose. We actually had IVF.:001_smile:

[Donna A.]

I am 13 years YOUNGER than my youngest brother. We don't even know one another...not well. I'm closer to their children.

My brothers are 13,15, and 17 years older than me. I was my parents Mid Life baby (mom was 40 when she had me).

It was touchy because I am 9 mos older than my youngest nephew!!!! My brothers had some pent up animosity toward me, viewing me as someone my parents doted on. As a young girl my oldest brother (a whackadoo) made my life hell - and yes, he did have a family of his own. But he didn't want to hear my parents talk about ME when all he wanted was for them to dote on his children. Make sense? He was jealous. My parents WERE doting grandparents but he wanted all of their attention directed toward his family and did not want to hear about me, or what I was doing. For years I was cut out of the equation. :001_huh: I am the black sheep.

 

Brother #3 is my favorite but his wife...wow... no matter WHAT I do I will always be the bratty 7 yo.:confused: And I really was not a brat, I was 7. She has gone out of her way to NOT like me and I'm 40 now.

And honestly, I wasn't given anything more than my brothers. I was a hard worker though, bought my own things, and paid for my own education..but they can't see that. My brothers were partiers, they chose a different path in life (drugs, drinking, early families) whereas I paid to go to college.

We're family... I "do" for them and they chalk it up to me being the only girl and that's the thing I SHOULD DO. But it will never be a reciprical relationship. When my mom was sick, it fell to me to take care of her and I happily did so because I was single. Then she passed and we all stopped communicating. There was no need anymore. When I got married no one even sent me a card. Brother #3 did come see me when I had DS #1. That was it.

Now that I have a family and moved out of state my youngest brother (#3- with the wife) took in my dad and again, no matter WHAT I do, my SIL despises me - now because she has my dad.

 

It's always family politics..I get that. Just describing and venting the issues I've encountered as the grown child of a family with BIG age differences.

 

Kathy, I bet we could share a lot of stories of heartache and bitterness, sadness and lonesomeness. If you haven't already, please read my post just above yours and note that I had a sister 20 years my senior. While *I* didn't mind nephews and a niece who were more like siblings to me (age-wise), the rest of the story is a whole lot uglier. My sister had MAJOR jealousy issues over how she *thought* I was treated better/more spoiled than she had been. That couldn't have been farther from the truth, as my parents were abusive. In fact, my mom made it no secret that she favored her grandkids over me. She didn't even TRY to hide it.... even as we grew into adulthood. :crying:

 

Maybe those are just the dynamics of two particularly dysfunctional families (yours and mine), and God forbid I should ever allow that to happen in my own family, with my own children.... age differences or no. But it sure does make a gal feel like an orphan in some ways, doesn't it? :sad:

[lllll]

..

Edited December 26, 2012 by ksva

[katemary63]

My kids are 24 and 23 (15 mos. apart) then 18 (4 years later) and then 9 (10 years younger then second youngest.) I have LOVED "starting over." What a joy and a blessing it have been to us. Some people have different priorities. Ours have always been family.

[MaMa2005]

38, 32, 5. Haven't been happier. Love them all the same and all differently. Our caboose is having the time of his life and keeping us young as we face retirement!

[LynnG in Arizona]

38, 32, 5. Haven't been happier. Love them all the same and all differently. Our caboose is having the time of his life and keeping us young as we face retirement!

 

 

I haven't read all the responses . . . but I think you may take the cake for "starting over"! :) A huge congratulations!

[LynnG in Arizona]

We pretty much have two sets of kids. One marriage, one husband, but two sets of kids.

 

We married very young and had two girls a few years later. We were overwhelmed!

 

As the years passed, though, our life settled down and we both began to long for more children. After a twelve year gap (when "everybody" assumed we were long since done ;)), we were blessed to have two more children.

 

They are now 18, 16, 4, and 2.

 

The truth of the matter is that we all adore the two little ones and are sincerely and profoundly thankful for them. My teens have a very special bond with their younger siblings that is almost half sibling, half parent. However . . . it hasn't all been roses and sunshine. There were definitely some unintended consequences to so drastically changing our family dynamics at a point when my older girls were 12 and 14.

 

I thankfully have not yet been taken for the little one's grandmother - yet - but that day is probably coming. However, if one of my older teens has a sibling along by herself, she will frequently be taken to be the little one's mother. It used to really bother them, especially when they were only 14 or 15! Now, not so much. In all fairness, it's pretty hard to tell a 17 yo from a 20 or 22 yo, you know?

 

Now that we have such a big age gap, I frequently meet other people who grew up in similar circumstances. There used to a be an older lady at our church whose baby sister was born when she was maybe 12 or 14, and she frequently took me aside to encourage me and tell me that it was a huge blessing in their family. I hear mostly positive stories about these "unusual" family spacings. :)

[scrapbookbuzz]

We have two children, almost 6 years apart. MOST of the time, I really like the age difference; it helped when I was on bedrest with ds and even after he was born. And I concur with the reaction that the Italian woman's response was inappropriate. She must be very high strung!

[justamouse]

4, 4, 4, 3, .9, 3

 

Yeah, that's a span.

[MyThreeSons]

Ours range from 14 to 45! The three oldest are my stepchildren, from dh's first marriage -- 45, 43, 41. The three we have together are 20, 16, and 14.

 

I have a friend who just gave birth a few weeks ago; her first two are 19 and 16. :D

[Penny from Tenny]

25, 25, 12, 9, 5 - Not our plans, but we are so thankful!

[AnitaMcC]

Just wondering how you feel about starting over when you were half-way there.

 

ETA----- The reason I ask is because someone at ballet asked the age differenced between my kids. When I said 4yrs, she said she'd kill herself if she had a 4yo and had to start over with a baby.

 

 

To me... 4yrs between children is not a wide distance in ages. The 4yr old isn't even school age. To me... having a 10 yr old and then a baby would be starting over.

 

If include my niece/nephews who we raised, our kids current ages are... 30, 23, 20, 15, 15, 11, 9. The oldest three are my niece/nephews.

[mcconnellboys]

My sons are 5 1/2 years apart. I had to fight to conceive them, carry them, and deliver them. I'll take whatever I can get......