At what point/grade are they not "young" anymore?

[JudoMom]

For the first time since I decided to homeschool, I'm having doubts. I guess I'm due for them, but I don't like them.

 

I was an overachieving, overzealous homeschooler who pushed way to hard with my oldest in the beginning. But you guys have slowly talked me down, and I've really tried to adopt the model of "it's okay, they're still young" attitude.

 

But at what point are they not "young" anymore? Is it middle school? Late elementary? For those of you that have been there, done this---at what age did you feel like formal academics started becoming more important?

 

I'm having a hard time phrasing exactly what is bothering me, but I feel like my guys are growing up and at some point I'm not going to be able to comfort myself with the "it's okay--they're still young" thought when I panic because we're not where I'd hoped we'd be. At some point, it's not going to be okay to miss certain academics because they are young. And I think I'm worried that once we hit that point, the younger ones are going to be short-changed because I have to teach the older ones more, or the older ones are going to fall behind where they should be (not in some generic state standard way, but behind where they are capable of being with good, consistent teaching) because I'm teaching the younger ones. I feel like I'm being pulled in about 20 different directions, with everyone needing something more from me than what they are getting, and that I'll never be able to fill all of the roles I've signed up for and I'll ultimately accidentally ruin them forever with my good intentions of homeschooling :001_huh:.

 

If this makes any sense, I'd love any advice. If it doesn't make sense, and you can help me make sense of my doubts, then I'd love that, too. Just someone calm me down before I eat all of the chocolate I have stashed in the house.

[Joanne]

For those of you that have been there, done this---at what age did you feel like formal academics started becoming more important?

 

Not at the ages of your crowd. More recently, a bit, with my oldest who is 13 and in 7th grade.

[JFSinIL]

I really expect a 6th grader to be able to do some serious table work reading/note taking/studying at least the core subjects, with breaks, of course.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Transition in fifth grade, ramp it up in sixth.

[Mrs Mungo]

Transition in fifth grade, ramp it up in sixth.

 

I agree, that's my model.

[genie]

Transition in fifth grade, ramp it up in sixth.

 

:iagree: Yep, this is what I have felt this year with my 5th grader. It has definitely felt like a transition year for me. Of course, every "next" year is a step up from the previous one, but this year has had a different feel. Maybe because 6th is considered "Middle School" (say that with a deep, echo-y voice) and I really wanted to cement some skills this year before moving into that phase.

 

But it wasn't just me implementing change; I saw my daughter becoming more and more ready for the transition. It's been a good year. :)

 

Unfortunately, I'm a mom of an only, so I can't help with the rest of your concerns. But I do believe, like others have said, that you still have a little time left with your "young" 'uns. :grouphug:

[mcconnellboys]

I think it makes sense. As a mom of only a couple, I can't help you with how to make your days work equally well for all your children, although allowing the olders to help teach the youngers might be one way to do it at some point. I've read several things in recent years indicating that more info is internalized and remembered when you teach it yourself.

 

As far as when, I think for me, logic stage has marked a turning point and that tends to be around age 10 or 11 for a lot of kids. I can see that my just turned 10 year old son has definitely entered this stage and so I'm looking forward to challenging him more next year.

 

I think in looking back on my older son's progress, there was a definite line of demarcation between the "elementary" years up through fourth grade, and what I now think of as his "middle school" years of fifth and sixth grades. But there was also a definite line between sixth grade work and what we were doing in seventh through ninth grades, which was pretty much all high school level work, with perhaps a couple of junior high things still thrown in here and there (seventh grade math, for instance).

 

Next year (fifth grade), I will begin asking for more reading on his own; more written analysis of what he's reading; and there will also be more formal oral discussion, too.

 

Regena

[Andie]

Transition in fifth grade, ramp it up in sixth.

 

Took two paragraphs to say in the email reply I haven't finished!

 

But yup, that's it. I went too fast, and was much too hard on my oldest. I should have saved some of that energy - I need it with her on the brink of high school and all these other kids we've had.

 

You'll be fine, really.

 

Now, about that chocolate stash....;)

[Unicorn.]

Throwing in my agreement w/ Pam! My oldest is in 5th this year- He is going to have a horribly rude awakening next year. :lol:

Personally, next year terrifies me!!!!!!!!!!!! :scared:

You will visit me in the looney bin won't you?:ack2:

 

 

ETA: Meant to say you'll be fine. We (the board) have complete confidence in you. No worries, yours are still "young".

[KidsHappen]

:iagree: About that time they can start taking some responsiblity for their own work. My 11yr. old still needs instructions sometimes but other times she can manage on her own and I just need to check her work. The older they get the more they can do on their own.

[Mama Lynx]

I began to quietly panic at 5th grade. However, my son was not ready to be "ramped up." We s-l-o-w-l-y ramped up through 5th and 6th, and next year, 7th, he will really be ready for more of a workload.

 

I think in general a transition in 5th and a ramp-up at 6th grade is a Good Thing - but I won't push my boys into it if they're not quite there yet. My 2nd son will be ready next year, in 5th grade.

[Jenny in Atl]

I have started to really feel the pressure this year for dd12. So, 6th does sound about right. I still want things to be fun but I also need to see that she is really beginning to take all this seriously. Not an easy thing to balance.

[WTMCassandra]

OK, I'll bite:

 

What does ramping up look like? (I'm wondering if I need to ramp up my DD more instead of keeping DD and DS together.)

[Barb_]

We don't ramp in 5th. We just hit 'em hard in 6th :) Around age 11.5-12.5 for those who aren't as grade-oriented. It's sort of like potty training. If you try it too early, it's mostly you who's trained. But if you try it too late, you miss that window of opportunity.

 

Barb

[Barb_]

OK, I'll bite:

 

What does ramping up look like? (I'm wondering if I need to ramp up my DD more instead of keeping DD and DS together.)

 

I would say yes, now is the time to diverge. She either is or soon will be hitting her brain-growth spurt and you want to be sure to take advantage of it. Girls mature earlier, so in essence your children are going to be closer to three brain-years apart. If you wait until your son is ready to ramp up, your daughter will be solidly in high school.

 

Barb

[elegantlion]

Thanks ladies for confirming how I feel about my ds this year. He'll be 11 in the fall (5th grade) and I am starting to see real growth. He is taking more initiative, working alone, even asking for more work. So we are ramping up next year as well.

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

OK, I'll bite:

 

What does ramping up look like? (I'm wondering if I need to ramp up my DD more instead of keeping DD and DS together.)

 

For us, it means work just barely past the level of comfort. Days where you know you're going to be saying sympathetically, "Yeah, sweetie, I know. But you have to do it, even if you cry." The time when you are very anal about setting a goal and reaching it. The time when you know the days look more academic than not.

 

That's ramping. Transition for me means a day or two a week when there's a good deal of written work required, more than was previously comfortable. Stretching, with a whole lot of rah-rah work from mom, lots of "See what you did? Isn't that great!?"

 

Hard to define. One of those "I know it when I see it/do it" things. Sorry this probably isn't much help. :-PP

[gardenschooler]

For us, it means work just barely past the level of comfort. Days where you know you're going to be saying sympathetically, "Yeah, sweetie, I know. But you have to do it, even if you cry." The time when you are very anal about setting a goal and reaching it. The time when you know the days look more academic than not.

 

That's ramping. Transition for me means a day or two a week when there's a good deal of written work required, more than was previously comfortable.

 

If that's the definition, then definitely end of 5th and into 6th grade. 7th grade is definitely past the comfort level. And 8th grade is just unbearable, to hear my dd's tell it.

 

We do a 'mini-ramp', I guess you'd say around 4th grade. K-3, I'm pretty relaxed, but we begin to focus a little more in 4th. But it's still not really past comfort level, just a little at a time.

 

I remember my oldest coming to me at the end of 5th grade and demanding real textbooks, not all this 'unit study' stuff, she said. That was her way of telling me she was ready, I guess. She definitely wanted to do more independent work by then.

[JudoMom]

So it looks like I still have 1-1.5 years before I should panic. I don't want to push him before it's time. Now I've got an idea of when that time is.

 

Thanks.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Transition in fifth grade, ramp it up in sixth.

 

I'm in this camp. Not only do they have the basic skills of reading, writing and 'rithmetic down by this point but they are starting to get the maturity to take some responsibility for their own education.

[MIch elle]

In K-3 the only subjects that must get done are math, reading, piano, and handwriting everyday. School lessons are short. In each of those grades more time and work is expected each yr. We did other subjects in a relaxed way and my younger dc would just listen to older dc's science, history, read alouds and whatever else. My dc love books on tape at all ages.

 

Grade 4 - we added English (R&S), science and history as formal subjects; and tried to do those subjects 2-4x/week but didn't stress if we never finished those books for the year. We continued to work heavily on math, reading, handwriting and practice piano everyday.

 

Grade 5 - math, English, and reading are the main focus. We try to consistently do spelling, science, history, composition, typing and Latin but don't stress if the books are not completed by year end but we TRY to complete them. Piano practice 5x/wk.

 

Grade 6-8 - focus continues in math and English with composition taking a more important place along with Latin. Reading is important but spread over many subjects; alternating with historical books & some for enjoyment along with a reading program (CLE). History is done everyday, science 3x/wk, piano everyday, logic 1x/wk, art history 1x/wk, geography and Bible are read aloud w/family or workbooks; spelling gets spread over many subjects. We try very hard to complete all books/programs in each subject area.

 

If my dc cry over schoolwork I KNOW I'm doing something wrong! I take a step back and hug my dc and try to help them or take a break (food helps). It's NEVER just about academics. It's about the family, the whole person and relationships.

 

Blessings on your journey,

[EKS]

My answer depends on what you're worried about. If it is just ramping up the formal academics and getting more rigorous, having them be able to work fairly independently on things like math problem sets and grammar exercises and the like, I'd say that 5th grade is a good place to start and by 6th grade these things should be in place.

 

If there is a concern that a child is just "not getting" academics, like reading or handwriting, that the child may have learning problems, I think that a complete evaluation and drastic measures would be in order by the end of 2nd grade at the latest. In my opinion and experience, it is best to get on that stuff as soon as possible, and not be satisified with the idea that s/he is "still young."

[Jill- OK]

...with those that say age 12, or 'middle school'.

 

So much seemed to fall into place then, and I look at that stage as prep for high school; catching up in weak areas, etc.

[Mom2boys]

But just wanted to say this thread was very helpful to me and confirmed what I have been feeling about the need to ramp things up next year for ds, who is turning 11.

 

Thanks for sharing your wisdom ladies! :thumbup:

[Amy in Orlando]

I agree that 5th/6th grade is the time to really transition and expect more independent work. But, consider your kids. My one son is in 8th grade this year and it's really FINALLY been a huge year for him. Some kids take a little longer, some go a little faster.

[Kelli in TN]

We are different. For us the ramping up year is seventh grade. Until they hit seventh grade they are not graded or tested. In seventh grade everything changes. Suddenly grades matter. Suddenly tests are tests, not reviews. The work is harder, the day is longer.

 

However, seventh grade is also when their bedtime is changed and there are more overall privileges.