Considering PS, but different than normal question

[Pamela H in Texas]

I have considered public school in the past for my son, but now I have a real pull about it. There are two big reasons:

 

1) Because of circumstances, I don't feel he's getting what he should be getting from home. At this time, he uses a weak program for the core and then does math (MUS), writing (home2teach), a heavy spiritual load, and exercise in addition to it. I just don't feel like it's enough and yet it's set up like this because I don't feel I can do better between his difficulties academically and my issues (health and work).

 

2) As I've started working in the public schools, especially one particular high school, I've fallen in love. Though some of the negatives of school are just as negative or worse than we've imagined, a LOT of school is REALLY great, much better than we have ever imagined. I really want him to have the latter and I really believe we can minimize the former (and in some cases, they don't apply in his particular situation).

 

If I send him, I will claim this yr as 8th grade and just send him as a freshman next year not sending him with any credits.

 

However, I'm thinking just two years of public high school, then just making up what few credits he has left....those credits being things *I* consider non-negotiable. Basically, I want him to have the benefits of school and the experience, but I don't care about their diploma. I'm committed to PS for ME, not for him (which I'm positive people wouldn't appreciate, but I want to be real here).

 

Anyway, so would you consider high school for only a couple years if you felt it held some benefit to your child?

 

Part of me sees it as using them. I kinda feel guilty about it. And part of me says that this is really how it SHOULD be. People should be able to use what they want from school and make other arrangements outside of that.

 

BTW, this is all contingent on me getting him into THAT school which is not in our school district. The school district I live in is not an option. Unfortunately, this is a bit of an issue because we're in a high growth area so they may shoot me down altogether. I'd be willing to pay the tuition some school districts charge (it's only a few hundred dollars). And me working in the district may help a little.

[Mermaid Mama]

Not there yet myself, but wondering if once you get him in school - will he ever want to leave?

 

Also - I think if he is mature and secure in who he is, not easily influenced by others, etc....school is not so detrimental. But if my kid ever grows up to be a follower - forget it! No way would I put a follower a situation of severe unrealistic and unregulated peer pressure.

 

If he is strong in person and character, excited about the possibility of formal school, and you are ok with him actually staying all 4 years should he end up wanting that - then go for it.

[Pamela H in Texas]

It has crossed my mind that he'd want to stay there all 4 years, but I highly doubt it. I'm more worried about trying it then it getting old quickly (or the benefits not working out quite as well as we'd hope) causing us bring him back home sooner.

 

As for the other issue? He's not a follower (or I wouldn't consider it at all). However, he's not strong and mature either. As I've been in various classes, I've wondered what HE would be doing in that classroom at any given moment.

 

It's very interesting....I have been mulling this over for a month. I think part of the reason it's hard for me to imagine is that I'm in shock. School is SO different than what I experienced in school and what I've heard about on homeschooling boards for the past 15 years. And maybe I'm a bit different too. Hmmmm...

[Chris in VA]

Gosh, it's such a hard decision.

Two things occur to me--remember that you are not a student at that school you've fallen in love with; your perspective and experience day to day could be vastly different. And consider changing his core at home, since that seems to be what you feel is weakest, giving him two more years to mature, and THEN put him in school for 11th/12th. Check and see what credits he'd need and plan from there. He could possibly even take a CC class or two as a tenth grader, which could either lighten his sr. year load or strenghthen his transcript.

[Journey]

I was in your shoes last year. I homeschooled my girls for 7 years and one of them had learning disabilties and when it got to the point that she needed life skills, I put her in a special program at the PS. My second daughter is now in PS because I couldn't teach her anymore and she has a thirst for learning and is very bright. I knew I was holding her back and I didn't want that knowledge hanging over my head for her future. I knew that I had raised her to be strong (praise the Lord) and to be a leader so I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about HER, but I do worry about the other kids...none of them are really who I would choose (if I were able to choose) to be her friends..but again, I know her, I trust her and she has made good decisions so far. PS is not the best place but for us neither was homeschooling anymore. While I am so thankful for the years of homeschooling, I know that putting her in PS in the ninth grade was the right thing for our family. She has been a light in that school and the kids notice that she's different (doesn't ever swear, actually has a relationship with me and talks to me), she's known as the goody two shoes but she's a cool goody two shoes and I know the kids respect that even though they rib her about it. I am so proud of my two girls and the women they are becoming. So, I do know where you are right now and if you trust your son, then I think you can trust sending him to school and whether he wants to stay for 2 years or 4, I think you are the only one who knows if putting him in school is truly the right decision for you. It's working for our family.

[MaMa2005]

My DH teaches in a wonderful public HS. However, I would never consider sending our child there. The war stories that DH comes home with would curl your hair. Too much damage could occur in too short a period of time.

 

DH does come home with some wonderful stories, too, but the bad far outweigh the good.

[Haiku]

You didn't really give an specifics on what you consider to be the positives and negatives of the school, so I can't comment on that. What I can say is that I have a daughter who is a freshman at what is supposed to be a very good school (in partnership with a university), and I still think that the negatives vastly outweigh the positives. Were it possible for her not to be in school, she wouldn't be.

 

From the outside, her school looks great and very well-run. And it is, to some degree. But it's still a bunch of adolescents in close confinement, and when you scratch the surface, there's a lot of ugliness going on, just like with any school.

 

Tara

[Denisemomof4]

It has crossed my mind that he'd want to stay there all 4 years, but I highly doubt it. I'm more worried about trying it then it getting old quickly (or the benefits not working out quite as well as we'd hope) causing us bring him back home sooner.

 

As for the other issue? He's not a follower (or I wouldn't consider it at all). However, he's not strong and mature either. As I've been in various classes, I've wondered what HE would be doing in that classroom at any given moment.

 

It's very interesting....I have been mulling this over for a month. I think part of the reason it's hard for me to imagine is that I'm in shock. School is SO different than what I experienced in school and what I've heard about on homeschooling boards for the past 15 years. And maybe I'm a bit different too. Hmmmm...

 

I think you working in the school is one thing. Your SON being in the school, entirely different. And I know how appealing it is to send kids to PS for all they have to offer. It sounded great to me, too, but has proven to be a huge disappointment. Of course, all schools are different. BUT, kids are kids and they are MEAN these days. I'd be VERY concerned sending a weak immature kid into PS, especially HS. It's VERY cut throat.

 

I sent my boys to PS, one in 9th grade, one half way through 5th. Oldest will graduate this year and he can't wait. I do not have one positive thing to say about the school experience and it's had a negative impact on our family. Attitudes, wanting to do all their friends do, loss of faith now, etc. I regret ever putting them in PS and so does dh.

[dancer67]

I sent my daughter to PS for 9th grade. She begged, and begged to go. She did NOT want to homeschool any longer.

 

We went and checked out the school, and we really liked it. Plus it was a vocational school, and she wanted to take up a trade.

 

Was it rough going for her? Yes. We almost pulled her out. But I am glad we didn't. She worked it out, and is very happy there. Much happier then when she was homeschooling.

 

She is going to graduate next year.

 

My feeling is this. Try it out. You always have the option of bringing them home. And PS is NOT as horrible as some people make it out to be.

 

You are going to get cr** in life no matter where you go. School, work, the store, driving, etc.....

 

Not saying you need PS to see the real world. But for some kids, they really DO need to be out and involved. Some kids just do not do well in a homeschool setting.

 

Good luck with your decision.

[Dmmetler]

Well, I'm way far from your stage parent-wise, but I'd say that if you think it will help, go for it! I know when I was about the age of your son, I relied heavily on my friends' parents to give me advice and support. For some reason, I just had a hard time learning such lessons from my own parents, but could from someone else. Meanwhile, my friends were doing the same thing with MY parents. It may be that what your son needs right now is to learn from someone else.

 

And why should you feel guilty about using the schools for what benefits your son? Your son is legally entitled to 13 years of public education. Why SHOULDN'T he use 2 of it if it's a good fit for him right now?

[Julie in CA]

If I were in your situation, I don't think I would send him unless I was open to the idea that he might never homeschool again. I think it's likely that one of two things would happen:

#1. Dc would go to school, be unhappy, and want to be home again. This option wouldn't be so bad except for the part where the kid has to endure the experience that makes them unhappy enough that they want to leave school.

 

#2. Dc would go to school, really like it and do well, and then (of course) be torn with the decision to skip out on those last two years, missing the opportunity to graduate with his friends. If you bring him home, he'll miss the two best years of high school. If you leave him, then you've basically given up your chance to ever be the teacher to this child again.

 

I'm absolutely not against the idea you're considering, but I think the reality is that either #1 or #2 would happen. I don't think you can have it both ways--that he'll be happy for those two years, but then still be happy to leave, kwim?

[2squared]

If you think it's what's best for your family, then I would do it. I'm not a die-hard homeschooler so maybe that makes a difference. I think the public schools can offer a lot of wonderful things. They offer pros and cons, just like homeschooling does. You need to assess the pros and cons of both options and choose which serves your family better. I know a lot of wonderful kids in the public school system, so I know it's possible to go through the system and still turn out fabulously.

 

For what it's worth, my kids take advantage of art, music, & PE at our local elementary school. The programs are incredible - much better than I could provide - and I love having the option. I fully intend to continue taking advantage of the public school system when it suits our family's needs.

[LibraryLover]

We take each child and each siutation individually.

Edited March 11, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Teachin'Mine]

Have you considered signing him up with an online or correspondence home school? This would allow him to do most of the work on his own while you're working, and then you could go over things after work.

 

Each family has to decide what's best for them and their children.

 

 

ETA: Your original question: "Anyway, so would you consider high school for only a couple years if you felt it held some benefit to your child?"

 

No, I wouldn't. I believe the negatives far outweigh any benefits.

Edited March 10, 2010 by Teachin'Mine

[outtamyshell]

Only you know the needs of your child. Some public high schools can provide a great education. You certainly shouldn't feel guilty about taking advantage of their classes for two years. It's not like you sign a contract to raduate with them. Although you may need to approach it more delicately since you work there. You might not want to announce your plans to spend just two years there. Publicly, at least, it might be a good idea to take one year at a time.

 

I agree that you need to be prepared for a child that does not want to come home after going to HS. If there are additional classes that he'll need to take to meet your requirements, then you should make that clear before getting him started at the public school. You can make plans to cover the relevant subjects after school or in summer school. Kids change a lot during the teen years. You might want to set a framework in advance so he knows your expectations.

[Night Elf]

My dd17 was in school for K through 10th grade. She had good years and bad years. She hated her middle school years because her stepmom was a teacher there and Claire found it quite embarrassing. I really have no idea if our local high school is considered a good school or not, but I do know it was brand new and full of so many extras that it looks like a mini-mall. It turned out to be extremely stressful for Claire and we brought her home after her sophmore year. Her dad and stepmom, both teachers, were livid and positive I'm ruining her life. She was scared to keep going and scared to homeschool.

 

I'll admit, we had a really rough first year. She's now at least half a year behind her peers, but she is much happier and much less stressed than they are. The best thing about bringing her home was that we were no longer on the school schedule. The high school lets out at 3:45. Adding school activities, hanging out with friends, and doing homework, she was on the go from 7:00am to 10:00 pm most days each week. It was all just too much.

 

Anyway, to answer your question, I'd say no, but with the understanding that nothing is written in stone. Changing curriculum is very doable. My children are doing Keystone National High School and we think it's really great. Because of the positive high school experience with them, we have enrolled our dd11 in a class with Keystone Middle. Also, I'm not sure what you mean by your son having a heavy spiritual load, but is that likely to change with him going to school? And last, if your health and work are bothering you so much, I can certainly see wanting to give it a try. Your situation might work out. Afterall, even homeschooling isn't perfect. We all try to do what we think is best for our children and our families.

 

How things work out will also depend on what your son thinks is a good idea. I would seriously take his feelings into account and at the very least, discuss them as a family.

[HRAAB]

One of my girls attended PS high school. We had no issues with her attending PS, but... when she went I told myself she would probably not come back to homeschool. She didn't. She graduated early and started college. High school was not a bad experience for her; there were definitely aspects she didn't care for (social stuff, drama), but I've not regrets that she went.

[Rhonda in TX]

First, I would check out if he can attend the school. If he can, you can give it further thought. If he can't, that would settle the question.

[K&Rs Mom]

And part of me says that this is really how it SHOULD be. People should be able to use what they want from school and make other arrangements outside of that.

 

 

:iagree: You're already paying for the public schools, whether you use them or not. Here (MI) homeschoolers are allowed to use the PS for non-core classes - one family I know takes their 4th grader in once a week for art class, another did middle school band only. Maybe because I've seen people do that, your situation doesn't seem bad at all. The school is going to be doing exactly the same thing with or without your ds, but they'll be thrilled to have that extra $ that his attendance for any length of time will give them.

[myfunnybunch]

I would consider it, absolutely. I did consider it, lol, since both of my daughters attend high school. One had the opportunity to live with her mother and attend a rigorous open-study charter school, perfectly suited to her preferred learning style and her interests; the other gets her special needs and social needs addressed and I get to be her mom and cheerleader, who I needed to be in her life. We carefully considered the needs that would be met in high school for each child and decided it was worth it for our family. There are some negatives, but the benefits for each of them have far outweighed those drawbacks.

 

The bottom line is that there is no one perfect way to educate a child. It's up to you to evaluate the environment and the benefits for your child and family.

 

And I agree with the poster who says that the ideal would be that we be able to use what we need or want from the schools we're paying for. :)

 

Cat

[KidsHappen]

I have been where you are. My oldest two did two years of high school and then came home to finish. I had one girl that wanted to go to high school (for the first time) starting in 10th grade. Not easy to do.

 

In the first case you are just getting them an education and you can count the creditd towards granduation yourself. In the second case my high schools would not except credit from homeschoolers so no matter what year you went in you would have to get the full amount of creditd to graduate.

 

In our case we were lucky, the school test her in all 9th grade subjects, if she passed she got the credit. The only one she had a problem with was lit because they covered different material than we did.

 

I see nothing wrong with letting the kids go to HS for a year or two during which they can get all the extra curriculars like music, art, athletics, languages, driver's ed maybe and any classes that you feel are not your strong suit such as maybe math or sciences.

 

The when you pull him out you can cover the material you want to make sure he is well rounded. I don't see any disadvantages in trying. If he likes it and it works out well, well then that's great. If not you can always pull him home.

 

You do need to be prepared for the fact that he may like it so much that he doesn't ever what to come back home and while I know that can be heartbreaking. He would be getting closer to adulthood and be ready to start contributing to the discisions effecting his life.Good luck with the decision. I hope it all goes smoothly for you.

[vkay]

If I send him, I will claim this yr as 8th grade and just send him as a freshman next year not sending him with any credits.

 

Do you get a choice? I thought ps school just goes by their b-day and not much else?

 

As far as your question goes: Yes, I would consider it.

 

I'm in a similar situation. I don't want to give up hs'ing, but I have to acknowledge that the ps high school that we live by is fantastic. Bottom line, I can't do a better job. sooooo, we are now getting ready to blend in and join the ps system. As much as I have loved being with my dc, for me, the ultimate goal is to have them as prepped for college as I can. In this case, it will be via the ps system.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks y'all for all your opinions.

 

I had a wonderful time today in a pretty laid back classroom. The students worked and we chatted. I asked them about what we were considering and what they thought. They were very honest. I rolled my eyes at a few socialization comments, but... They were excited about having someone else there. They said all sorts of positive things about their school, their classes, their classmates, their extracurriculars, etc. It was really neat to hear them have such pride in themselves and their school!

 

vkay, the way I would have a choice is that in high school, they will only accept ACCREDITED credits. No homeschool classes are accepted here. He is using an accredited program, but I don't HAVE to tell them that. I don't have to have his records sent.

 

Also, I asked today about him going. The office told me who to speak to but other people were also saying it probably wouldn't be an issue as lots of kids go there because mom or dad work in the district. So he probably can go there since I do also (and plan to as a permanent teacher when I finish my schooling in 2011).

 

It's funny. You talk to PS teachers, students and parents and they all say how much the positives outweigh the negatives. You talk to homeschoolers and get a lot of the opposite. I realize I haven't worked there long and so haven't seen everything (or close), but it does seem like we homeschoolers tend to demonize school to an odd degree, especially when we're not there to experience it in any capacity. I know I have fed off of that so many years and now just see something COMPLETELY different. Again, there ARE a few negatives and I do think they are problematic. I think some things are worse than I realized. School has changed A LOT since I was there! Not all for the better. And yet there are some really neat aspects also. And some of the issues I had in school aren't things my son will have an issue with anyway.

 

And then there is the fact that we'd ALWAYS let him come home and finish up whether it was after 12 weeks or 3 years.

 

And yes, I am aware he could decide not to come home ever. That isn't a PROBLEM. I just don't want that as our original intention.

 

Someone up above mentioned one HUGE concern....faith. This is probably the biggest reason we haven't done this already. I would hate him to lose his faith (or if the end came, life!) by turning his back on the gift. And yet, I can't keep him under a bush either. But this is one of my bigger waffling points.

 

Anyway, I'm thinking. I might chat with a counselor Friday or something. How can I weigh my options still I fully know them?