What was your biggest fear, going into homeschooling?

[Xuzi]

I'm still in that "Wow, this is going to be great!/What on earth are we THINKING??" emotional rollercoaster of jumping onto the homeschooling bandwagon. I never waiver in my conviction that homeschooling is the RIGHT thing to do for us, but I worry about doing it the right WAY. I worry that the first day of school will arrive (we start in August!) and my kids will be bouncing off the walls and not listening to a single word I'm saying, or show any interest in any of the books or educational DVD's or math manipulatives or anything. My two oldest have been in public school, and I worry that they won't be able to see "mom" as "teacher". I'm just here to cook their meals and set up their train set, not show them how to write letters.

 

I'm sure we'll be fine and we'll all find our "groove" eventually, but for now I have that inevitable fear-of-the-unknown hanging over my head.

 

So what were your biggest fears/worries/concerns when you were just getting started? Did they ever come about? Or were there other completely unexpected things to worry about?

[swellmomma]

I am still on that roller coaster and we are half way through our 4th year lol.

 

My biggest fears/worries/concerns are the same ones I battle everyday, if I have made the right choice for my kids. Will I screw them up even more by homeschooling them? Am I doing the right things to give them a chance at a good future?

 

The thing is those are the same thoughts/worries/fears I had when they were in ps, and in daycare and pretty much since the day they were born. I spend a lot of time thinking about that stuff(usually at night when they are all asleep) wondering if I made the right choices that day in how I handled things with them, if what we did that day was the best thing to have done. It is not an all consuming thing, more like a simple critique to help me make the best choices I can the next day.

 

There is still days when I am ripping my hair out and wondering why on earth I thought I could homeschool them, however often those are the same days I wonder why on earth I was chosen to be their mother. And then there are days when I watch them with awe and feel pure joy at having this opportunity to raise them and learn with them, and spend so much time just being with them. THe vast majority of days are in the middle, I am not searching for the yellow bus, but neither am I seeing them as angelic beings and homeschooling as the best thing since sliced bread. Most days we simply get through the next thing and by the end of the day we are still mostly happy with each other. You will soon find that while the emotional roller coaster can still be taking you for a ride years later, most of your days will be somewhere in the middle of those 2 extremes and that is okay.

[Ester Maria]

I feared I was not competent enough to teach anyone anything other than my immediate expertise areas (which also happen to be appropriate for the university level) and the areas I learned really well at school or had special interest in (such as classics or Philosophy, and even there not everything).

 

There are so, so many things I don't understand past the amateur / high school level. I thought I might be depriving my children of good quality professors by aiming to teach those fields instead of letting it be taught by a professional, by somebody who knows and understand the material on much deeper/broader level than myself.

 

I also feared I was completely incompetent of grading, whether formally or just estimating where they were: I was afraid of subjectivity as well as the fact I might not understand enough to teach it well.

 

Also, I was afraid I would pass my mistakes in English onto them. Obviously, I'm not a native and at the beginning I couldn't fathom the thought of teaching English grammar at a native level (I have no problem with literature, as it happens to be my expertise area), and it made no sense teaching it as foreign if we were going to spend a lot of time in an anglophone country.

 

Everything worked out somehow over the course of the years, though I would still prefer them to get high school education in a good quality school, even at the cost of us being physically separated (if they go back to Italy for the purpose of schooling or choose a boarding school in this system). But we'll see about that yet, we have a year or two more to consider the options really thoroughly.

[coffeefreak]

I was only going to do Kindergarten. I had no fears. It was when we decided to homeschool past that that I became afraid of judgment. I know it sounds weird, but I never doubt I can do this, I doubt my family and friends think I SHOULD do it. I know it shouldn't matter, and over time, it hasn't mattered. But, I know I'm being watched and judged, and it bugs me :glare:

[Crimson Wife]

Figuring out how to challenge my DD enough without crossing the line into unrealistic expectations. Still struggling with this 3 1/2 years into our HS journey. :tongue_smilie:

[Mesa]

I still worry.

I really worry about my kids being short changed here at home. My oldest a horrendous writer, he cannot compose a simple story or even a paragraph to save his life. I REALLY worry it's my fault!

I just have to remind myself that the pro's outweigh the cons even if I DO short change my kids.. (I sure hope not!) The environment at home is just healthier.. no doubt in my mind. My kids do not have to deal with bullies, drugs, underfunded and overfilled schools. I really hope by homeschooling my kids I will raise them to be confident, happy, well socialized, well traveled and well educated adults.

[PeterPan]

My biggest concern was my ability to keep up with the rest of my life (cooking, cleaning, self-care, energy, exercise, etc.). That's still my biggest issue. Oh, that and dealing with a preteen...

[scrapbookbuzz]

Every.single.homeschooling.parent questions their ability on an almost daily basis. My thought on this is that:

 

1) It's not that we really think that we really can't do a good job, more like

 

2) We love our kids so much we want to make sure that we do the BEST and GIVE the best we can give them as their teachers but

 

3) because there is SO MUCH information out there now, in regards to homeschooling, that we just get OVERWHELMED sometimes and

 

4) that's okay. Your kiddos, regardless of WHERE they go to school, will be spending at least 6-7 hours a day, 5 days a week with SOME adult, why not you?

 

If you forget everything else and only remember one thing, remember this: just the fact that you're asking this question means that you CARE ENOUGH to do a FANTASTIC job teaching your little ones. May God bless you abundantly in your home education endeavors!

[johnandtinagilbert]

Initially, I internalized the fears of others: socialization. Once I saw that was a farce b/c we had too many social opportunities, I then worried I'd never teach them how to read. We cried a lot the first year (2 really), but guess what...I've taught all 5 how to read, and have also taught someone else's dc how to read, with 2 more coming up!

 

Next, my fear was missing important things. This was a reasonable concern, but over time I've figured out my teaching needs and am using resources to meet my needs and the learning styles of the children.

 

There seems to be a 3-year learning curve. That's the average I've found over the last 10+ years amongst home schoolers. Year 1 - reality check, "Wow! THis is a lot of work." Year 2 - Such and such is not working, I need something different. Year 3 - I have what I need, the kids have grown, I can do this!

 

Then you just get that way all over again in small spurts as the children progress; only the second time, you realize you've done this already, you just need more advanced stuff. You can do it.....and when you think you're lost......come to the boards!

[Another Lynn]

My biggest concern was my ability to keep up with the rest of my life (cooking, cleaning, self-care, energy, exercise, etc.). That's still my biggest issue. Oh, that and dealing with a preteen...

 

Yes.

 

Also, in my experience, homeschooling is not hard. Parenting is hard. ;)

[ele325]

I think we all have those fears/emotional rollercoaster throughout the journey. It does subside some with time....I began homeschooling my dd7 when she was 4. We took her out of preschool and brought her back home. Since then we have dabbled in different curricula, I have been through nursing school, divorce, custody battle, and even a 1 week stent in ps. I must say that the week in public school was probably some of the most valuable time for me to see how much we are doing that is right. From what I saw there I now know that no matter what your approach your children are in the right place. You know them better than anyone else, and you are able to meet those needs better than any more traditional school setting. Post divorce, I now work full time outside of the home and have a new partner who is very helpful and supportive. I have managed to continue homeschooling, although sometimes my house suffers the consequences. So the best I can say is JUMP. Don't look back. Try very hard not to doubt yourself and in the end you and your children will be just fine

[gandpsmommy]

I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to teach them to read. When dd4 asked me to to teach her how to read, I had to do a google search for materials because at the time I didn't know about this website, I didn't know any hsers well enough to just call them up and ask about teaching reading, and I really couldn't remember anything about how I learned to read (except that I learned the letter sounds from The Letter People in kindergarten).

 

I was lucky in that I found a great book that I successfully used with dd and now am using with ds. But, I was just so nervous about the whole actually learning to read process. It just seemed so mysterious. And it was such a huge feat, upon which the rest of their education depended. I was so relieved and happy when dd became a fluent reader. She started out K5 finishing up her phonics book and ended it reading us The Boxcar Children. It was amazing.

 

You would think after helping one child learn to read I wouldn't have been as anxious about teaching another, but again I am finally starting to exhale as ds is just on the cusp of becoming a fluent reader.

[Mom22ns]

I didn't remember how many fears I had until I read this thread:lol:

 

My dh's one expressed concern was that I keep up with the house and cooking. I initially felt a lot of pressure from that. My house keeping isn't what it once was (and it was never great). My meals are often simpler than they used to be. But we have all come to a place where we are content.

 

I really WAS concerned about socialization. My oldest is autistic spectrum and socialization is an issue. I found that smaller amounts of positive social interactions were so much better than huge amounts of negative ones. That concern is long gone.

 

The only fear that still remains is making sure my kids are getting the best possible education. At first this terrified me. Now I'm confident they are doing well and I'm doing fine. We have found curriculum that works for me and each of them. I still have that little nervous voice as I make my choices for next year though saying "Is it enough?". I also have a little panic attack now and then when I look at my curriculum for this year and wonder "Did we do enough?" or "Did we do it well enough?". Most of the time I'm confident. The kids are happy. Dh is happy. I'm very proud of their progress. However, I think I will always keep the little voice that says, "Are you SURE its enough?":glare:.

[....]

I worry that we won't cover the benchmarks the public schools meet (stupid, I know, especially after I found out where our old school is in math).

 

I highly recommend schooling 2 or 3 fun subjects over the summer if you are worried about August. That's what we did and it gave us the summer months to get over their adjustment (and there IS an adjustment). :D

[nono]

I was afraid I wasn't going to like it. That was it. And, until we found our groove, I was neutral, which was so much better than what I was thinking I was going to feel! :) It took us about 3 months to find our groove.

 

Now, we all look forward to school time. In fact, we all woke up really early today and my daughter asked to do her school work almost immediately. We are going on a field trip later today, and she wanted to make sure it got done before we left.

 

I am sure in the years ahead there will be times when things don't click, but I'll know that they have in the past, and I hope that will give us the confidence to find our groove again.

[cseitter]

That I wouldn't survive!

[Dmmetler]

That I won't be able to meet my DD's individual needs.

 

That I won't have any time for me whatsoever

 

That she'll hate home schooling and end up hating me (right now, if she's mad at the teacher, she can come home to mommy and have a break. But if Mommy IS the teacher, then where's her refuge? Where's mine?)

 

That I'll push her farther than she can manage

 

That I won't push her far enough

 

That I bought all the wrong curriculum

 

---

I really think I've had more headaches and panic dreams about home schooling since January than I remember having since the few days before my thesis defense. I don't remember being nearly this scared when I started teaching in a PS classroom or at the college level.

[TKDmom]

Also, in my experience, homeschooling is not hard. Parenting is hard. ;)

 

:iagree:

 

Exactly. All those fears about messing up my kids--I had those before I started hs'ing. Sometimes that fact that I am their teacher magnifies those fears, and sometimes it helps that I am with them all the time so I can spend the time I need to deal with parenting issues.

[Xuzi]

Thank you for all the replies so far! Helps me feel like I'm not completely nuts. :lol:

[Heidi]

I worried if homeschooling was the best thing for them and me in the long run. Who knows what sort of challenges we would face as a family going either route? I was afraid of making the wrong choice. I wanted God to tell me the best route. I didn't get an answer, so I put my dd in K. I knew immediately it was not what I really wanted or felt was best for her, so I pulled her out. It was THEN I knew I had made the right choice. I finally felt peace about the decision and have ever since.

I was also very self-conscience about what family and friends thought about me homeschooling... they're all against it. After I felt that peace, I haven't worried about what they think or say because I know it's right for us. It's nice to have that peace of mind and confidence. I don't know if I could do this without that assurance.

[2_girls_mommy]

I was only going to do Kindergarten. I had no fears. It was when we decided to homeschool past that that I became afraid of judgment. I know it sounds weird, but I never doubt I can do this, I doubt my family and friends think I SHOULD do it. I know it shouldn't matter, and over time, it hasn't mattered. But, I know I'm being watched and judged, and it bugs me

 

 

This is very close to my experience too, including our original plan to hs K, and then move to a good school district. But that never happened. We fell in love w/hsing. I have never worried about my abilities to teach them what they need to know. They are doing great. If something is not working the way I want, we make adjustments. I get better with experience just like a new classroom teacher would, and my kids are awesome students.

 

Although, in the beginning I worried that we were going to be the only "normal" people doing it. I kind of thought all hsers were going to be weird or something, and that we would have trouble making friends or finding groups where we fit in. But if they are, then so are we :) Hasn't been an issue.

[robsiew]

Yes.

 

Also, in my experience, homeschooling is not hard. Parenting is hard. ;)

:iagree:

 

I'm not so worried about academics. It will all come, sometimes because of what I do, sometimes in spite of it! I'm convinced this is what I'm to be doing right now. Now, almost every day I ask God... "Really????? You thought (and still think) I can handle parenting these children????" :D:001_huh::glare::lol:

[Crimson Wife]

Although, in the beginning I worried that we were going to be the only "normal" people doing it. I kind of thought all hsers were going to be weird or something, and that we would have trouble making friends or finding groups where we fit in. But if they are, then so are we :) Hasn't been an issue.

 

That was my DH's biggest concern. When I first brought up the idea of HS, he said "isn't that for superfundamentalist Protestants and hippies?" To be honest, the handful of HS families we knew growing up in the 80's did fit one of those 2 stereotypes. He was so relieved to discover that the folks in our local inclusive support group aren't really all that different than the folks we know who send their kids to area private schools.

[Amy+2]

Telling my mom and dad.

 

Seriously, to this day every time my parents visit, my dad asks the boys when they are going to go to school. He also tells me to research the private schools in the area because he is going to PAY for them to go. I mean every time. I am VERY, VERY close to my parents, always have been; therefore, I roll with the punches. But, I certainly don't lie down and take it. I think he forgets sometimes we come from the same mold and I am just as headstrong and can dish out and take just as much as he can. :tongue_smilie:

[Dmmetler]

My parents are totally on board with home schooling for DD-it helps that they're both deeply involved with ISEF and JSHS, and therefore have had a chance to see some very, very successful, competent home schooled students come through those competitions. I admit, though, that I'm scared to death about my husband's family, who are much more traditional-I recall them quizzing my SIL about her not sending her children to PRESCHOOL, so I kind of hate to think of what I'm in for given that I'm pulling mine out of ps after kindergarten.

[G5052]

For some reason, that was the most intimidating thing to me, maybe because I'd heard stories of children who had huge difficulties and even knew of homeschoolers who "washed out" because of that.

 

As it was, everything went fine. After that, I've just plugged on, even through years now of family medical crises and juggling a part-time professional career. Not much could stop us now...

[Xuzi]

Telling my mom and dad.

 

Seriously, to this day every time my parents visit, my dad asks the boys when they are going to go to school. He also tells me to research the private schools in the area because he is going to PAY for them to go. I mean every time. I am VERY, VERY close to my parents, always have been; therefore, I roll with the punches. But, I certainly don't lie down and take it. I think he forgets sometimes we come from the same mold and I am just as headstrong and can dish out and take just as much as he can. :tongue_smilie:

Oh my gosh, this is one of mine! We've told my IL's because they've so rarely made any sort of judgement on any of DH and I's decisions (they're awesome IL's that way! :D ) But both of my parents are career public educators. My mom has been teaching for over 30 years, and the only time I've ever heard her mention homeschooling it was in a less than positive way.

 

I'm flying down next week to spend a few days with them (they're in CA, I'm in WA) and I'm afraid it's going to "come out" that we're HS'ing next year and what the backlash might be. I don't want to hide it from them, per say, I just don't want them to find out about it while I'm in the same state. :tongue_smilie:

[4mkfam]

Fears? We're in year one and were thrust into homeschooling a year or three before we'd planned to (lived in a town with a fabulous school, then we moved in Oct. due to job change -eek!), so I'm still working through a lot of them.

 

That I would never have another minute to myself. Ever. :lol: Compounded by the fact that we're in a small town where we know noone and haven't yet found reliable babysitters, should I (okay... we -the kids occasionally need a day off from me) need a day off. I'm an introvert who formerly fantasized about what life would be like with all the kids in school and I had the quiet, clean house to myself. Oh well. :) That can wait another thirteen years or so, I guess. I'm still struggling with finding a good group here, one where I can find some good activities with the kids and good grown-up fellowship. (does such a thing exist? I need a MOPS for homeschool moms :lol:...)

 

That I would miss a critical part of what Every Smart Kid should Know and that I was going to wind up with the "homeschool dropout" kids dh had to deal with as a teacher --the homeschool kids that weren't transitioned well into school life (the parents threw up their hands and sent the kids to school b/c they didn't know what else to do...) and hadn't been doing much academically at home :001_unsure:. I admit to being a bit of a slacker parent when the kids were in school with homework :tongue_smilie:, and was afraid that tendency would get the better of me with it all being on my shoulders. ...that's actually not been too much of a problem. We're using a distance learning academy, so I have some (helpful) accountability with that.

 

That I'm going to screw up with the legal stuff. Joined HSLDA to allay that fear a bit --but I still worry about that one, especially since we were sort of thrown into our situation --literally two and a half weeks from dh looking for a job to "We're moving!! We're homeschooling!! What now?!?"

 

Fears I don't have -my parents are wholeheartedly supportive of us homeschooling (yay, mom and dad!), and (ironically, maybe) with dh being a teacher, I didn't really fear being a competent teacher as to knowledge -I figure myself successful if I can inspire them to be self-driven learners by the time they graduate. If I can gift them with that tool and a well-rounded mental library of basic knowledge, I figure they're set.

Edited February 25, 2010 by 4mkfam

[yvonne]

My greatest fears were that I wouldn't be patient enough and that I wouldn't have the follow through to do a good job. (Love planning more than implementing....)

 

Now my greatest worry is whether my daughter is missing a lot by not "getting" to go to school. I loved school as a child. I've visited the school she'd be in and it looks pretty good. She's much more outgoing than my boys and I know she'd like some little friends who enjoy other things than Legos! As an introvert myself, it's hard to find social outlets for her. On the other hand, if I send her to school, I know it'll be nearly impossible to get her back in 6th grade & I don't want her at the middle school....

[swellmomma]

. (Love planning more than implementing....)

 

 

:lol: me too, and apparently it is evident enough that my dd10 announced a month or 2 ago that I was a planner not a doer. Not a trait I want my kids seeing in me.

[Momof1plustwins]

My biggest fear was not knowing how to teach. It felt awkward at first, but then it started coming more naturally. I think one of the most important things you can do is to not compare your homeschool with public school.

[Paintedlady]

At first I worried about my ability to deal with being together 24/7 and that proved to be no big deal. I really like being with my kids! :D Now, 3 years in, I worry about preparing them well enough. I fret over curriculums I'm not happy with, about whether to teach them Spanish or Latin, should I get them involved in co-op classes, etc... In the end though, this has been the most amazing time of my life. I've never regretted homeschooling them!