A ? for SAHM's who have a degree

[Caribbean Queen]

I had a full scholarship so it was worth it for me. If I had to pay back loans, it wouldn't have been worth it.

[FO4UR]

I don't regret HAVING a 4yr degree....I regret the debt, and getting it too early in life FOR ME. In reality, I won't likely use my BSE Music Ed to make any kind of $, and I can't see myself teaching music in a public school for the fun of it.:001_huh::tongue_smilie: Actually, I could....but I cannot be the teacher I want to be AND the mom I want to be. Those two things are mutually exclusive simply b/c both are time consuming and emotionally draining.

 

It's funny b/c I just found some old college pictures today....it was like an extension of high school for me. I did very well. I had fun. I would have made a great music teacher. BUT - BUT, it wasn't the wisest move considering that as a "real" adult I have no desire to actually USE the degree.:banghead: I actually won a full ride scholarship for a MA....and a semester into that it "hit me"...I don't want to do this. kwim.

 

If I could go back in time....I would work slowly on a degree while the kids are little...paying in cash as I go. Classes, now, would be fun "me time," but any $ I would put towards "me time" now must go to SL payments.

[Danestress]

Honestly, my 35,000 a year law school tuition (just tuition!) has not paid off. Maybe it will someday. I did it almost fully on scholarships, so I don't really have to pay the price for that. I do feel badly that someone else is paying off student loans because I got that scholarship and now I don't really "use" it. But I every much enjoyed law school, I middling liked practicing, and maybe I will again someday.

 

I don't think college was a waste at all.

[mcconnellboys]

I don't believe that acquiring knowledge is ever wasteful. I would think that the more well-rounded and educated a parent is, the better prepared they are for assisting in the acquiring of knowledge for their children (and grand-children, and any other children who come into contact with them through various learning opportunities).

 

I believe that mothers in places such as Japan routinely acquire teaching degrees specifically so that they can assist their children with after-schooling, which is so prevalent in that country.

 

I believe that education makes one a better citizen, too, in that one is better prepared to evaluate, make decisions, etc. regarding local, regional, and national issues.

 

And, I know plenty of "SAHM's" who do work outside the home their entire lives. The fact that it might be volunteer work rather than paid work doesn't, in my estimation, make it any less important. Indeed, I feel that many volunteer jobs are essential to making both our local and national societies go.

[homeschoolally]

I haven't even made enough $$ in my adult life to pay my student loans--I came into our marriage tens of thousands in debt from a college degree I've never used.

 

If I could do it again, I would do something specific like an 2 yr degree in computer science, nursing, etc instead of a BA in something vague like business or sociology.

 

I hope to do grad school at some point so I feel like the 4 yr wasn't a total waste of time and money!

 

Just my experience...I may be unusual, but I feel that my college investment has been a waste for the most part.

[myfunnybunch]

I believe that mothers in places such as Japan routinely acquire teaching degrees specifically so that they can assist their children with after-schooling, which is so prevalent in that country.

 

Yes. Our Japanese home-stay student is hoping to go into publishing specifically to develop and publish afterschooling materials.

 

Cat

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

Most definitely they should have a degree or a trade from a vocational school that they can fall back since unfortunately things do not always work out or death, illness, or job loss occurs.:( Plus what if they never meet mister right? I did not meet mister right until I was 37:001_huh:.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I haven't even made enough $$ in my adult life to pay my student loans--I came into our marriage tens of thousands in debt from a college degree I've never used.

 

If I could do it again, I would do something specific like an 2 yr degree in computer science, nursing, etc instead of a BA in something vague like business or sociology.

 

I hope to do grad school at some point so I feel like the 4 yr wasn't a total waste of time and money!

 

Just my experience...I may be unusual, but I feel that my college investment has been a waste for the most part.

 

 

:iagree: I do agree that college is not always worth it financially anymore do to the high costs. Don't get me wrong I have a bachelor's in nursing and I am grateful for that, but I have heard of sky rocketing costs and of many graduates not being able to get jobs:( However, I still thinking some sort of schooling is valuable. I would carefully research your options though to make certain that the degree or schooling is marketable. For example, some schools offer certificates in massage, medical assistants which are really not that marketable. OTOH, nursing assistant, plumbing, etc. may be very marketable. So I would research how marketable a particular course of study is IMHO>

[laughing lioness]

I loved going to school and learned a lot. I would definilty encourage my dd's to get a degree- just do it without debt (easier said than done) but also that there are other options in life (which my parents would not consider).

[Rosie_0801]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

Absolutely the best money ever spent (and yet to be paid back.) Without that degree, I wouldn't be who I am now, and wouldn't feel qualified to homeschool my kiddies. My daughter will be strongly encouraged to get a qualification that means something in the workplace (unlike mine.) First, there's no certainty that she'll find someone to settle down with; there's no certainty that if she does, he'll be happy to support her and there's no certainty that such a situation will carry on forever. Divorce happens. I know I'll be up the creek if my partner and I ever split, but since working towards a real qualification isn't an option at the moment, I'm working my little bottom off to make sure our relationship stays together! (Not that economics is the only factor keeping me here, I do like the guy ;))

 

Now, I am hoping and hoping my kids will be much better prepared for adulthood and won't need to spend time in a 'useless for employment, but excellent for character building' degree as I did.

 

Rosie

[teamturner]

I have a degree and I worked in a related field for 10 years before having dc. I would love for my dd's to be SAHM's but I still want them to have a college degree. Of course, when I got a degree college didn't cost as much as it likely will by the time my girls are college age. :confused:

 

Even if you don't specifically use your degree, there are things learned while attending college and broadening your mind that are valuable life lessons. And you never know when life circumstances will cause you to have to return to the workforce. Having a degree makes such a difference when it comes to job opportunities as well.

[MamaSheep]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

I absolutely do think it was worth the time and money (and blood, sweat, and tears) and I am certainly advising my daughters about the value of a college education AND the value of being a SAHM. I may even go back and get some more college under my belt after the kids are grown.

 

I have a degree in illustration, and I am a SAHM to 2. My mother has a degree in home economics, and she is/was a SAHM to 7 (and a SAH Grandmother, for which I am frequently grateful even though she lives 2 states away). My grandmother (born in 1903) had a degree in English (I think?) and was a SAHM to 11.

 

Because my grandmother had a college education she was able to support herself as a school teacher until she met the man of her dreams. She taught my mother to speak and write using correct grammar and diction, even though they lived in an area where most people spoke with a strong accent. This helped her to do better in school, and to be accepted in society as a cultured, educated woman in spite of her having grown up on a struggling dairy farm. My mother was able to get a scholarship to help with her schooling in large part because of the influence her mother's college education had in her life. Furthermore, my mother in turn taught her children to speak and write using correct grammar and diction, which I know gave me a leg up on my peers in school in subjects such as reading, writing, spelling, grammar, sentence diagramming, and all of the writing in the content areas. My life has included several situations in which my opinions were given more weight than another's simply because I was able to express them clearly, in standard English, and without a noticeable accent. Not fair, I completely agree, but certainly it is part of reality. So not only did my grandmother benefit from her college education, but so did my mother, and me (not to mention all those siblings and their children and grandchildren).

 

My mother's degree in home economics was largely intended to prepare her for her intended career as a SAHM. However, she has also been able to use it to help supplement the family income in many ways over the years. She was a nanny for a while before she had kids, has done some catering, sewn wedding dresses, and been a child-care provider, among other things. She has also used her education to do a lot of good in the world, helping and teaching friends and neighbors, teaching classes at church, and for a time after her kids grew up working as a volunteer with Child Services. At any time during her life she could have put these skills to use to provide for our family should it have become necessary due to accident, illness, or other unforeseen circumstances. I know that always gave her a sense of security. Additionally, my mother taught all of her children to cook, sew, and keep house. These have all been very, VERY handy skills for me and I am teaching them to my own children. So my mother's education has benefitted at least three generations of her own family so far, not to mention her impact on her community.

 

My own education, so far, has not perhaps been put to such extensive use, but give me time. I am glad that I am able to pitch in and help with dh's work when he gets in a crunch. My college course work certainly helped me be better prepared to homeschool my children (which was not in the plan, but has certainly been worth it) and helped me feel more confident in taking on that task. I've been able to help friends and relatives who needed good quality artwork for one project or another that was important in their lives, but couldn't afford to pay for it, and I've dabbled a little in more "professional" work. I too feel a sense of security in knowing that if dh got hit by a bus tomorrow I would have a way to provide an income for our family, and it's a good feeling. I am working to pass on to my children the legacies of their grandmother's and great-grandmother's educations, and although I am not sure that my own contribution to the family store of knowledge will be quite along the same lines, I do hope to instill in my children an appreciation for beauty and an eye to find it even in unlikely places and people.

 

And that's only tracing back one line of SAHM's with college degrees. Then there are my aunts and my dear sisters and sisters-in-law. I think it's amazing what educated women can do, ESPECIALLY if they operate outside the traditional "workplace", and I'll definitely be encouraging my daughters in those directions.

[Cammie]

My degree was not a waste, especially since I met my husband in college. :D But a huge reason it wasn't a waste is that I got through with no debt. I can't take credit for that since my parents paid for it. But if I had gotten out with tens of thousands in student loan debt hanging over me, it would have been a waste because I then couldn't have afforded to be a SAHM. All I wanted at that point was to stay at home, so going to school and having a huge debt load would have prevented me from doing what I really wanted.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

My college degree wasn't a waste (had a good scholarship.) My M.A. wasn't a waste (had a good scholarship.) I do have doubts about my law degree for the exact reason mentioned above. The debt I have from those years will be with me the rest of my life. It impacts all the decisions we make as a family. It impacts whether and how I can stay home for a few years. If I someday go back to full time legal practice then I guess it would have been worth it.

[Mommyof4ks]

I have a degree, and I actually finished up when my dd was nearly 2. Around here either I can get a job with a degree or work in retail/fast food, and I cannot afford to live the lifestyle that my family enjoys with a retail/fast food job. My main concerns are what I would do should my dh lose his job, gets seriously hurt, or dies. He has life ins., but that will not sustain us forever, so I would need some kind of job. I am teaching my dd that she needs to follow God's plan for her life. It is a good idea to have a back up plan though, and whatever that looks like she needs to be able to care for her family with or without her dh should she get married. I don't know that she will want to be a SAHM though.

[Rhondabee]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

In reality, you hope for the husband who can support you, but you prepare to take care of yourself financially if need be. IMO (ymmv), there is nothing very attractive about a single woman who sits around moaning that she only wants to be a SAHM, but she can't find a husband. (yeah - there's a specific someone in mind here - LOL!)

 

But, even *if* you have a husband today, that's no guarantee he will be there tomorrow. (Hmm...I didn't mean he would be a scum and run off, only that you never know when tragedy may strike.) My experiences working are getting older and older, but at least I have them. If I ever had to face life without my husband, at least I would have the confidence that I did it before, and I can do it again.

[Hedgehogs4]

I have a bachelor's and a Master's degree, and I don't regret either of them. I got the MA for employability before I got married, and once I got married, worked in my field until I had children. As soon as I got pregnant, however, i was OUTTA THERE. My student small student loan outlived my career.

 

I would advise my daughter to pursue and education or trade for herself. I think it's important in the event a girl doesn't find a spouse right away, or is widowed or (God forbid) divorced. However...I would not suggest that education take precedence over having children if that is what she desires. I don't care if my kids get married first, have kids, and then get their education or training. I really don't care how they do it, as long as they are content. My daughter can expect us to help her financially and educationally as long as she is unmarried. My son, on the other hand, we will help along until he is out of school and / or earning his own income. I expect him to grow up to be a breadwinner for his family. (of course we'll always be there to help him out and give him cool gifts as long as we can afford it, but we won't be "bank of dad" to a lazy kid.)

[Dobela]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

I went to college and earned a bachelors degree. All I ever wanted was to be a sahm. However, it ended up that I didn't marry until I was 28 so I had several years of supporting myself and saving money before I met my dh. Then, in 2001, he lost his job and I was able to be the main wage earner and have insurance for us until he found a job. The best part was that I was able to do something other than fast food or being a checker for minimum wage.

 

College was a great growing experience for me. The money was worth it. It has made me more rounded today and I feel it has helped me be a better teacher to my children.

 

If your dd is wanting to become a sahm, then encourage college. There may be a sad day when she endures the death of a spouse, a divorce, or a loss of his income and she will need to be able to provide for her family. having a diploma of any sort can be the door opener for many more jobs than no degree at all. I started as a biology major and ended up in education. Other friends of mine that wanted to just be sahms typically majored in nutrition, home ec, or Bible in a Christian university.

[Mom2boys]

I don't regret my bachelor's or my master's degree. My quality of life is better because of the education I received. It's not just about job opportunities.

[Cindyg]

If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it?

 

Yes. I would say "Yes, of course!" but I don't want to be pejorative.

 

What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

Absolutely to consider college. I certainly wouldn't try to force them, but I would assume (in their secondary education) they were going to college.

 

I have two master's degrees and my husband has two. I certainly expect my child to pursue higher education if possible.

[MeganW]

My college & graduate degrees landed a great job, which is where I met a great husband! So yeah, it was worth it!

 

I think if I had not gone to college & just worked at McDonald's, I wouldn't have met a man who earned enough that would allow me to stay home with the kids.

[Kidlit]

I'll add my little story to the mix.

 

I have a B.S. Ed., a M.L.I.S. (library science), and 18 graduate hours in English. The two degrees were earned before I had children, and I really had not given much serious thought to what I would do once I had children. I even assumed that I would return to work after a year or two, which I now realize was quite ridiculous for me to even think. :tongue_smilie: I earned the 18 graduate hours mostly while I was pregnant or soon after I had my first. My goal was to be able to teach part-time at the college level, and I have done that since my eldest was an infant. It has been the perfect situtation for us, and I am forever thankful to God that He has blessed me with this opportunity.

 

I do not regret my education at all. As so many of the previous posters have already said, it's all about being an educated person. In addition to that, if I had not gone as far as I already had in my education, I would not be able to do what I'm doing now: working very minimally and spending virtually all of my time at home with my children, educating them.

 

I will do everything within my power to encourage my own children (girls and the ds we're expecting in late spring) to go to college, no matter what other roads in life they travel down.

[elw_miller]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

It is absolutely worth the time and money. I have a degree in English Education and a minor in History. Having my degree and having the experiences I had in college broadened my horizons on so many levels--intellectual, social, personal.

 

I was able to participate in so many activities and discover so many things by attending college--large choirs, intramural sports, ballroom dance, cultural activities in art, drama, music at student rates, classes outside my major (microbiology, biology, chemistry, horticulture, gifted education). I enjoyed being in an environment where I could engage with people who shared my interests and who challenged my thinking in ways I never would've expected. My husband and I still look in some of our old textbooks (microbiology, chemistry, etc.) to answer questions we have in some of our discussions.

 

Going out on my own helped build my self-confidence and further develop my character.

 

My wonderful husband and I met at a ballroom dance social.

 

My education has also given me experiences and perspectives that I use daily in my relationships with my children, husband, and friends.

 

On a pragmatic level, though, having a degree in English Education is a good safety net. Heaven forbid something horrible happen to my husband, but I do have a way to support my family should something happen.

 

My children, regardless of gender, will be expected to go to college. My daughter knows I went to college and got a degree in English Education and then made the choice to stay home. She hears how both experiences have enriched my life (and hers considering college is where I met her daddy. :) ).

Edited January 19, 2010 by elw_miller

[KristenS]

Haven't read all the replies...

 

I *do* think my time and money was wasted. I do NOT think education is a waste ... but most of what I spent 4 1/2 years working and paying for was not an education. Sigh. I did learn in some classes, but they were the oddball ones that were mostly electives ... karate, Old English, piano ... and my Spanish minor classes. My major was elementary education, and that was very poorly taught, and my other minor was English, in which I had some great professors and some lousy ones. And I was in the Honors program too.

 

I still would advocate for a college education, if it's appropriate for my children at that time, because that little piece of paper is pretty critical to getting a job ... but if there was something more suited to educating my children for whatever they feel called to do, I'm open to it.

[mom2denj]

I have always told my dd that we expect her to go to college even if she wants to stay home with her children. One of the posters said that she has advised her daughter to go into nursing. This is exactly what I have told my dd. If she needs to add a little income herself, she can do it working part time. I started this thread because I have heard both sides from other women. I have heard women (women that do stay at home) say that the money they are still paying 5,10,15 years later, was a waste. I can understand that. However, as others have posted, I think it is important for women to have something to fall back on in case of divorce, death, or husbands losing thier jobs. Thanks for the great responses!

[PineFarmMom]

Yes, it was worth it. It supplied $$ for our family at a time when we needed it. It gave me some skills that helped in my most important job, which is being a mother and wife. I am highly encouraging my dd to pursue a career and then to have plenty of doors open to stay home with her dc when she has them.

[jelbe5]

I have a Masters of Social Work. It has been so helpful to me in so many ways . . . I did work a little after the birth of my first daughter (about 8 hours per week). I left my job after the birth of my third baby (another girl). Right around her birth we learned my son (middle child) has autism.

 

My degree has helped me to cope personally and also to structure learning for my son and my girls as well. It has helped me navigate various "systems" as well. I may return to work outside the home someday, but right now I see homeschooling my children and keeping the home (as best as I can . . . I am not so good in this area!) as my full time "job".

 

My older dd is 14 and full of raging hormones and so forth and has been struggling with some self-doubt which I feel is due to the hormones and the changes of becoming a child and moving into young adulthood. Again, my work with troubled teens (not that I feel my dd is "deeply troubled" . . . at least not like the youth I worked with!) is helping me to help my dd. She is responding to our talks and my suggestions and some new structure and I am pleased with how our relationship is developing . . . I can see the potential for a great friendship as she moves into adulthood. I just told my dh that I am so glad for my schooling and work experience because I feel it has helped so much.

 

I have a BS in Journalism and when I decided to go for the MSW I apologized for my mom because I speculated that perhaps their money was wasted for my undergrad since I was now making a degree/career change. She firmly told me that education is never a waste. My mom and dad came to the USA from Glasgow Scotland with basically a high school education. They are very well read and self educated people who put emphasis on a good education. I am the first person in my family to go to college as well as to earn a higher degree. At this time in my life I have to agree that my mom is right . . . education is never a waste! You will always use that education in one way or another.

 

Editing to add: I am encouraging my dd to consider a two year degree program that will provide her with a trade/skills to support herself. She does not "like school" and "wants to be a writer". She is actually quite a good writer, but my feeling on that as a career is "Don't quite your day job!" and I want her to have a decent "job" in order to support herself. She is a young freshman now and might be on a five year high school plan, but that is what I am telling her now . . . that I expect her to attend at least community college/trade school.

 

Adrianne in IL

Edited January 19, 2010 by jelbe5

[G5052]

I've been a part-time professor longer than I've homeschooled (and we've always homeschooled), so my kids have grown up seeing a Mom who has used her degrees all along.

 

My older one is an engineer/architect type, so he'll definitely need college. I'm figuring local CC and then to an in-state techie school.

 

My younger one is more design oriented, so we talking about what it would take for her to pursue that. I told her that I'd want a 4-year degree that she could survive on while pursuing her art interests. Again, probably looking at local CC and then in-state.

 

They grow up so quickly!

[Haiku]

If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

Yes, the time and money was worth it. College was a good experience even if I don't "use my degree."

 

I would advise my daughter to get a degree in something she would like to have a career in because there are no guarantees in life. Planning to be a SAHM and actually being a SAHM are too different things and you never know what might happen.

 

Tara

[smrtmama]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

While I sometimes have guilt over the student loan debt I accrued for my master's degree, I have no regrets over going to college and then graduate school. I will absolutely encourage all my children to go to school and pursue graduate work if they desire that as well, no matter what their long-term plans. Education is never a waste. I am a more experienced, more open-minded mother because of my education.

[Susan in KY]

It was no waste at all!

 

First, it gives me a back-up plan if something tragic happens, like DH dying.

 

Second, I have "been there, done that," and in the process I learned that being at home with my kids is what I really want in life, not an outside career. But, I don't sit around wistfully wondering what might have been if I had just finished my education. I did everything I wanted to before I had kids, and have (by far) found my present life to be the most satisfying option. I am not sure I would have the solid assurance I have now if I hadn't pursued the education and career path first.

 

:001_smile:

[Mrs Mungo]

I knew a guy many years ago who came from a farming family and was going to be a farmer. He was asked why he was going to college since he didn't *need* a college education to be a farmer. He said he wanted to be an educated person whether or not he *needed* the degree.

 

:iagree: Education and/or a degree are never a waste of time or money.

[Jenny in GA]

Haven't read all the replies...

 

I *do* think my time and money was wasted. I do NOT think education is a waste ... but most of what I spent 4 1/2 years working and paying for was not an education. Sigh. I did learn in some classes, but they were the oddball ones that were mostly electives ... karate, Old English, piano ... and my Spanish minor classes. My major was elementary education, and that was very poorly taught, and my other minor was English, in which I had some great professors and some lousy ones. And I was in the Honors program too.

 

 

 

Interesting point. I often think college is highly overrated. I actually have two degrees, and I'm glad, but I have NOT found college to be filled with intelligent professors who are passionate about their field, or hard-working, intelligent students who are grateful to be there and can't wait to learn.

 

I went to an expensive private college with a great reputation, and MANY of the classes were a total waste of time.

 

One class in my major consisted 50% of reading a magazine article, then discussing it in class (and they weren't even interesting discussions!) We were assigned to "write a paper" (with no stipulations given, except the choice of three topics) and we never saw the papers again, discussed them, or even received a grade for them. No did we spend ANY class time learning about any of those three topics.

 

Another class in my major was called "Choral Lit." This was a class for junior and senior music ed majors, and was taught by the head of the music department.

 

Every class consisted of the teacher passing out a choral piece. We would sing it through once, maybe twice. He might make a comment or two about something in it. Then he would collect it and pass out another piece.

 

That was it. No outside assignments. No written work. No other requirements of any kind.

 

I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get the point.

 

The other thing that surprised me was how many students at college don't seem to give a rip. You'd think someone who was paying thousands of dollars to study something as passionate as music would WANT to work hard and learn a lot.

 

But it seemed that the majority of students actively and loudly whined every time they were assigned work, and constantly tried to get away with as little as possible -- and bragged about it. Some music students even talked about how they hadn't practiced all week, and their teacher couldn't tell. Um, why would you become a music student if you don't even want to PLAY your instrument?

[OneRoomSchoolHouse]

It was no waste at all!

 

First, it gives me a back-up plan if something tragic happens, like DH dying.

 

Second, I have "been there, done that," and in the process I learned that being at home with my kids is what I really want in life, not an outside career. But, I don't sit around wistfully wondering what might have been if I had just finished my education. I did everything I wanted to before I had kids, and have (by far) found my present life to be the most satisfying option. I am not sure I would have the solid assurance I have now if I hadn't pursued the education and career path first.

 

:001_smile:

 

:iagree: I felt a college degree was my life insurance. I made more $ than dh and know that if something happens to him I can still give our dc the same quality of life they have now.

[*Inna*]

I don't think my education is a waste. It has helped expand my mind, worldview, and understanding, as well as subject knowledge. It comes in handy in teaching my children, too.

:iagree:

[Homemaker]

I went to a private Christian school and got my Bachelors in Elem. Ed. I had known I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom and I choose Elem. ed because I knew it would later help me in my career of "mommyhood". My parents (the ones who paid for my private college) never for a moment thought I wasted their money. They were glad I got the life experience of going to college and that that they have their grand children being raised my me and not a daycare.

 

I do not feel at all like college was a waste. I met my husband, had great experiences and had a great time. I have two daughters and I really hope they see the importance of staying at home and raising a family and the do the same some day, but that they also get to get that life experience of going to college and pursing their interets before they have a family.

 

That being said, I also know there are very successful people and hard working people who don't have a college degree. While I will push my children to go to school, I also know that college is not for everyone and that they can also be successful even if they don't get a degree.

[IsabelC]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

Well, for a start I met my husband at university, so I would be mothering these particular children if I hadn't gone :lol:

 

I agree with whomever it was who started the other thread that everyone should be prepared for some meaningful employment. If my daughters grow up and want to be full time mothers, that's great. But they should be doing it because that is their free choice, not because they are unfitted for any paid work. (Of course, being prepared for work doesn't have to be a degree. I'd be just as happy if they take up an apprenticeship to be plumbers of electricians.)

[KristenS]

I guess I should go back and add, I did meet my dh via friends I met from college ... so THAT was well worth it! And we were both lucky in that we came away from college with no student loan debt.

 

I am glad to have a degree, in case the unthinkable should happen. But as it's in elementary education, my certification has long since expired, so I'd have to do a lot over again. My actual work experience was with the public library system, and would be a more likely source of (a small) income.

 

I am glad for the friends I made that I still have. I am eternally grateful for my dh. And I am very glad for the few courses where I actually learned. But I still wish the whole experience could have been better.

 

I know when my kids are that age, the options will be wide-open ... distance learning opens up so many possibilities. And good thing, too, as our local university has just added the stupid rule that all freshmen and sophomores must live on campus so they will get the full 'college experience' and improve their academics. Um, from what I saw of campus living, the academics tended to suffer. LOL. And since we live a mere 15 minutes from said campus (as dh and I did when we attended), it's nuts to pay that much money for the privilege of never getting enough sleep and study time because of idiot roommates who party all night.

 

I should get off this soapbox ... where did that come from? :D

[Ester Maria]

In all honesty, never in my craziest dreams I thought I would end up a SAHM. The question I sometimes ask myself is not whether I made a mistake by going to college, but rather whether I made a mistake by staying at home with kids.

 

I had a M.A. both in Italianistics and Comparative Literature, even several things published, I had been working on a doctorate and heading towards an academic career (already worked) when several things happened and, long story short, we ended up in the US "for a few years" (due to my husband's job). Those few years became almost a decade meanwhile.

The thing was that we had very small kids at that point, they were barely past toddlers, so it was logical I would find some work from home (though it's not that I needed to work, financially speaking - it was more for keeping me sane) and stay with them, and when we agreed we would stay longer, I didn't have a heart to send them to a boarding school from the very beginning and thus I ended up homeschooling them and, consequently, staying at home.

 

Did it kill me? In many ways. I'm not going to lie, not once I wondered "what if" and whether I should have sent the girls away and get back to Italy, but then the situation would be hectic, we'd be entirely split as a family (and my husband would probably continue to spend great deals of time in the US), all in different countries, and at that point our family and mental peace were of greater importance to us. Now, when the kids are older, maybe I would not make the same choice. I basically postponed - or even renounced, still not sure about that - academic career for them. And, like I said, it was a killer for me in many ways. Imagine one day teaching at university, working on your doctorate, being among people a lot and enjoying the lifestyle you can lead that way (while still having a wonderful husband and two small kids at home), and then next day - puff! You're alone, in a foreign country, and peripheral things such as cleaning and cooking and taking care of kids become your main focus. It was crazy.

But then again, if my kids are not worth that sacrifice - who is?!

 

Not that I can actually use most of my knowledge today, not to the same extent. I still do some things other than homeschooling, and I'm still "on the verge" of the world I once belonged to; however, despite not being able to apply it often, I would never trade that knowledge. It enriched me for life, just like my high school education did, and I never became a classical philologist (what my school focused on). It was still worth it, for the sake of enriching you intellectually, spiritually, and for making you grow - because just as one grows from one's experiences, so does one grow from the content they absorb, the things they learn, the ideas they come in touch with.

 

Not that I idealize my education, there was a LOT of "wasted time" on the way and I could go on enumerating after Jenny all the things which appear as if they served to nothing, but on the whole, I think they were all pieces of puzzle and as a whole worth taking it.

 

I'm not sure I'd like my daughters to become SAHMs. It's a legitimate choice and for some, not so much a choice as a result of various crazy things happening in their lives, but I know first hand how depressing such a life can be after a solid education, travel, and the overall rush of life - at least it was for me. If they make such a choice, I'm okay with it, though I'd like them to go to university also for the sake of enjoying life without worries for a bit longer (why rush starting to work or having kids if you can take a few years and enjoy life, study and travel before?), other than for obvious reasons that more education can hardly ever hurt and that I'd like them to become professionals in something, along with being well-rounded by their pre-university education.

Edited January 20, 2010 by Ester Maria
lol, just noticed I wrote "B.A." instead of "M.A." there :D

[Heather in OK]

I have a BA in Elementary Education. My oldest dd was born during my last year. I took the Spring semester off, stayed home with her until the following Fall semester started, and went back to do my student teaching. From then on I was a SAHM. People always think that b/c I have that degree it's a HUGE help in homeschooling.

 

Honestly....it isn't. Not one bit.

 

Now I am doing something completely different work-wise. And have student loans to pay back for a degree I am not using.

 

I'm torn on whether or not the time and money was a waste. I don't think my college experience was a waste. Afterall, I met my dh there. :001_wub: I met some great people and learned to live on my own. At the time I had a goal of going on to add a Masters in Deaf Education. But choices that were made and the results of those decisions changed all of that...for the better!! In hindsight though I do not think it was worth the time and money. It has no use to me now whatsoever.

 

If my dd's absolutely know they want to be a SAHM I won't push college at all. I would however suggest to them finding something they enjoy doing that has the ability to provide financially should something happen with their marriage. That could be something that requires a degree but it may not.

 

If they or my ds choose a career that doesn't require a degree, I won't push college at all.

 

I do not think college is something one absolutely must do. I know SO many people who are quite successful who do not have a college degree. A person can be VERY well educated without a college education.

[Jenny in Atl]

I wish I had gotten my degree in something other than I did... But, no it was not a waste. Who knows, maybe graduate school is in my future.

[jlovebaker]

proud of it! I worked with domestic violence victims for 13 years ... loved it but now I'm home with my kids and homeschooling. I have the confidence and the ability to teach them ANYTHING! I can converse with my husband's collegues and my well educated friends, I can volunteer at the library and I can keep score/manage a baseball team. Education isn't necessarily about getting a job ... it's a lifestyle and more. But I'm not dissing on those who don't have a degree. I've met many throughout my life and life is education too! However, if I could choose one ... it would surely be the opportunity to go to school/college.

[eternalknot]

I was talking with some one the other day about this and I want to see what others think. If you went to college and then became a SAHM (and plan to remain a SAHM) do you think that the time and money that you spent going to college was worth it? What would you advise your daughters if they want to be a SAHM?

 

I am not a full-time SAHM, though I have been in the recent past. I have several degrees, including one in-progress, but only the first was earned with an eye towards future occupational goals; the rest were earned exclusively out of personal interest and growth.

 

"Worth" is subjective. I've spent a ridiculous sum on degrees that will never see a ROI in terms of earnings. But I've learned so much, much of it indirectly; so in that sense, yes - the time and money spent were/are worth it (to me).

 

My first degree was chosen for it's career potential; I don't use it in my current profession. I wouldn't say I wasted my time earning the degree, but knowing what I know now ... I'd have opted instead to focus on interesting classes, rather than mandated classes. That would have proven to be the better use of my resources, IMO, looking back. I'd suggest that to a young lady wanting to be a SAHM -- take random classes for fun and interest and relevance, and if they end up coming together in a degree ... great! If not, you've still learned something (some of it indirectly, just from the overall experience of going to college).

[Carol in Cal.]

 

 

I'm not sure I'd like my daughters to become SAHMs. It's a legitimate choice and for some, not so much a choice as a result of various crazy things happening in their lives, but I know first hand how depressing such a life can be after a solid education, travel, and the overall rush of life - at least it was for me. If they make such a choice, I'm okay with it, though I'd like them to go to university also for the sake of enjoying life without worries for a bit longer (why rush starting to work or having kids if you can take a few years and enjoy life, study and travel before?), other than for obvious reasons that more education can hardly ever hurt and that I'd like them to become professionals in something, along with being well-rounded by their pre-university education.

 

Yes, it can be depressing. I have seen that first hand.

 

But it can also be very satisfying. I have experienced that myself. In my case, it was crucial to have had the career, to have had the education, to have had the travel, and not to have a child until fairly late. I know I would have hated being a SAHM in my 20's--I would have felt like a caged animal chained up. During those years I would not even have wanted to tie myself down to a houseplant. But I got all that stuff out of my system, and felt like I had accomplished what I wanted to, and was very secure in myself and my worth before I had a child.

 

That's not the best path or the only path for everyone, but I wanted to put it out there just as one possible one.

 

Not everyone misses that life. Some people move on very successfully. Some people would have been wistful if they had never had that.

[Georgiana Daniels]

I haven't read all the responses yet, but here's my take:

 

Up until a few years ago, I would absolutely agree with many of the pp's who said YES, college is very important even if you stay home.

 

I'm glad I have my degree because, even though I assumed I'd get married right out of college, I didn't find Mr. Right until almost 8 years later. It was nice to have a way to support myself :D

 

However, there are so many ways to educate yourself these days. The important thing is knowing HOW to learn. Yes, you oftentimes need a formal education for career advancement, in the case that you don't marry right away, but college is not the only way to learn.

 

The most important reason my thinking has shifted (but not changed entirely) is the HUGE COST of higher education. If there was a way to go to college for minimal expense, then great. But it took more than a decade to pay it off. And honestly, we're not in any better shape financially than many of my non-college educated friends.

 

That said, education isn't a waste, but there are more factors in play, at least in my mind, that say it isn't the only viable path.

 

Here's where my Christian faith comes in: I believe that God will lead the direction we are supposed to go. For some, college may not be the way.

 

Finally, our oldest IS planning to go to college next year, and I do so wish we had unlimited funds :D