How do you handle war video games/people shooting people?

[praisefor3]

Ds12 was loaned a PS game from a neighbor friend. It is a war reenactment game where they are shooting at each other, with a lot of historical clips (Pearl Harbor, etc.) We are a hunting family (extremely safety minded.) And we believe there are times that our country must unfortunately go to war and we intensely support our troops. However...this game bothers DH and I and we have told ds he can't play it. It doesn't seem "right" to us to get comfortable shooting at people - pretend or not. I'm comfortable with our decision as we must do what we believe is best for our family, of course, so I am not looking for critique of our personal decision. However, I am interested in how YOU handle these games. (In other words, not looking for input on what you think we should do for us - just what you have decided for you.)

[Joanne]

I believe it's a a gender based play desire.

 

I allow my boys to play those type of game with the same limits we have on other screen based entertainment in terms of time spent.

 

I have met (and had in my daycare) boys I believe to be pre-disposed to hyperfocus or behavior related issues due to these games, but I don't believe that reaction is present for all kids or even most.

[babysparkler]

We don't allow violent games... the most we allow is Mario jumping on turtles and shooting fireballs at mushrooms :lol:. My kids are more "sheltered" than most of their friends, but we and THEY are okay with it. As they get older we will have to make more decisions, I'm sure, but for now, no violence or fighting.

[Parrothead]

For me it is on a game by game basis. Some to the stuff dh has isn't appropriate for dd to watch. We go do something else while he plays. Some other games are okay and we will even play with him.

[Samiam]

They are allowed in our house. As with movies, TV, or anything else that is fantasy-based, conversations have been had, and will continue to be had, that this is make-believe, and not what we do or how we treat people in real life. My children understand that. My boys are very nice people, and rarely have any problems interacting with others in a pleasant manner. I am frequently complimented on their behaviour. They are boys, they like to rough-house, and they are not perfect. But those moments do not come from them playing video games where they shoot pretend guns at pretend people.

 

I know that it could be an issue for some, as I have read/heard of people who do horrible things based on games they played...but I do believe those same people probably already had a major issue, that would have fixated on SOMETHING as their unsound reasoning to explain their behaviour.

[fivetails]

Our son doesn't play video games and our daughter isn't really interested in that 'type' ~ she plays Mario, Pokemon, whatever on her NintendoDS... on the other hand, dh is the gamer here and plays a lot of 'violent' games ~ dd12 has no interest in playing those sorts of games.... if she did... well, *some* of them, we might allow, depending on graphics/purpose/messages/etc [if they're rated T, then we'd consider it. Rated M, no. - and for many of the M games, it's not really even so much the violent play /// it's the 'mature themes', language, and whatnot.]

Edited January 1, 2010 by fivetails

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I'm not sure what game you have, or whether I would allow it, but my 12yods is sitting right next to me playing Battlefield Heroes online. I haven't noticed that this particular game has any more negative effects on him than any other game (car racing games, or whatever). I *have* noticed that he gets surly when he spends too much time playing games, but I don't believe that playing *this* game (which involves flying planes, driving jeeps, and driving tanks, as well as just shooting guns) is any worse than the others.

 

FWIW, Battlefield Heroes is rated Teen (and my computer is set to only allow Teen ratings). There are definitely a LOT of blood and gore games that I don't allow him to even watch. There's no blood in this game.

 

Also, it has only been in the past month that we've allowed this type of game. Our ds has reached a level of maturity that we believe can readily separate fantasy from reality. He's a well-adjusted kid, not sadistic in any way. (He once cried when I wanted to flush a centipede that we found in his room!) He just enjoys the skill involved in playing this game. He also likes that he can connect with his RL friends online, team up with them, and enjoy the game together.

 

I sound like an advertisement for Battlefield Heroes. :) I'm not, really, I'm just explaining why we like this game, and why we allow it in our home. Again, I don't know what game you have at your house, I just wanted to say that war games are definitely not all the same.

[LibraryLover]

We got our first game system when our kids were 20, 16, 15, 9. We do have a couple of games I don't love-- a Star Wars game that is all about killing the dark side. Assassin's Creed is the worst. I don't like it. At all. The boys know their 10 yr old sister cannot be in the room when they play and she won't go near it. But I don't think it's something I would tell them they could not play. Both of them are very kind and gentle human beings and I don't get why they play this game at times. My girls are not into those games at all. They play skateboarding games and such.

 

I was chatting w/a 9 yr old on New Year's Eve was he talking about a particular killing game, Call of Duty, and I admit, I was horrified. That's a limbs flying off, bleeding game. He's 9. 9.

[Pretty in Pink]

My dh has games that the boys are not allowed to watch. Assasin's Creed is one of them (not knocking the PP who mentioned this game; it's just the one he has played a lot lately).

 

I don't like games with lots of blood/gore. I guess that's where I draw the line. Something like Oblivion doesn't bother me; it's sort of a fantasy game where you take out giant spiders and wolves and such with flaming arrows. OTOH, Assasin's Creed has the main character running around cutting throats and such.

 

I also don't let the kids watch games with a lot of language, like Metal Gear Solid.

[Brilliant]

My hubby and 13yo ds play games like you've described - "1st person shooter" games with M ratings. Ds has been playing them for around 3 years. Maybe I'm naive but I don't believe it has had any harmful effects on him. He is a very sweet kid who wouldn't hurt a fly in real life. (well, he does kill spiders for me).

 

The only rule we've had to implement is that I make sure to check with other parents before friends play the games with him, since other families don't allow the same thing.

[OHGrandma]

Ds12 was loaned a PS game from a neighbor friend. It is a war reenactment game where they are shooting at each other, with a lot of historical clips (Pearl Harbor, etc.) We are a hunting family (extremely safety minded.) And we believe there are times that our country must unfortunately go to war and we intensely support our troops. However...this game bothers DH and I and we have told ds he can't play it. It doesn't seem "right" to us to get comfortable shooting at people - pretend or not. I'm comfortable with our decision as we must do what we believe is best for our family, of course, so I am not looking for critique of our personal decision. However, I am interested in how YOU handle these games. (In other words, not looking for input on what you think we should do for us - just what you have decided for you.)

 

We stress that you never, ever point a gun at a human unless you are ready to kill them. We don't take that lightly, and for that reason we don't allow video games that portray killing. We do allow squirt guns. And we do hunt, so everyone knows how to safely handle a gun here.

[dragons in the flower bed]

We do not do them for the same reason. Shooting people should not be entertaining. I have a hard time enforcing this, though, because Narnia, Harry Potter, and all the other fantasy stuff my kids adore (and play, though not as a video game) is all full of people pointing weapons at other people with harmful intent. Someone really needs to write a peacewalking video game. I swear it's just as exciting to bolt yourself to a tree while corporate flunkies aim bulldozers at you.

[LibraryLover]

We do not do them for the same reason. Shooting people should not be entertaining. I have a hard time enforcing this, though, because Narnia, Harry Potter, and all the other fantasy stuff my kids adore (and play, though not as a video game) is all full of people pointing weapons at other people with harmful intent. Someone really needs to write a peacewalking video game. I swear it's just as exciting to bolt yourself to a tree while corporate flunkies aim bulldozers at you.

 

 

Skateboarding games! Fun!

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I just lost this battle in our home. I have not allowed the T or M rated games for my children. However, DS's Boy Scout troop hosted a lock-in this month and so many of the boys - all of them except DS - brought Call of Duty that DS had to choose between playing by himself or joining in with the others. DS chose to play COD. I was not happy. My first reaction was to call the scoutmaster and complain - there should have been other choices for those boys whose families have decided these games are not appropriate for 12 & 13 year olds. While I still believe that to be true I didn't make the call.

 

DS is the only homeschooled child in his Troop and the only one from a conservative family. He has been left out of many overnight sleepovers, Saturday game days, etc. because he has not been allowed to play the war games. I finally relented and allowed DS to purchase COD with his Christmas money.

 

The first 10 seconds of turning it on came with three F+++ bombs and a few other curse words. I am so sad that this is what is the norm for boys these days. :(

[asta]

I know that it could be an issue for some, as I have read/heard of people who do horrible things based on games they played...but I do believe those same people probably already had a major issue, that would have fixated on SOMETHING as their unsound reasoning to explain their behaviour.

 

I agree with this completely.

 

We do not do them for the same reason. Shooting people should not be entertaining. I have a hard time enforcing this, though, because Narnia, Harry Potter, and all the other fantasy stuff my kids adore (and play, though not as a video game) is all full of people pointing weapons at other people with harmful intent. Someone really needs to write a peacewalking video game. I swear it's just as exciting to bolt yourself to a tree while corporate flunkies aim bulldozers at you.

 

OK, this just cracks me up. Does anyone else remember the young person who was run over (and killed) in the Israeli/Palestinian territories several years ago attempting to "stand down" a bulldozer "for peace" because they were CONVINCED the operator would stop?

 

Actions have consequences. Wars happen. All over the world. Right now. Not just in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

Is the answer video games? Of course not. What *I* think is sad is that what was once the purview of the news reel is now a billion dollar ENTERTAINMENT industry.

 

Then again, we watched the movie Fight Club at our house last night. I don't feel bad, though: kid saw that it was a study on dissociative identity disorder, not a movie about fighting.

 

 

a

[WagsWife]

The first 10 seconds of turning it on came with three F+++ bombs and a few other curse words. I am so sad that this is what is the norm for boys these days. :(

 

 

I hate that! My Dh likes to play the shooter type games, but we get so tired of hearing all the language. He is not even comfortable playing Halo around our girls, because you never know when a cuss word is going to come out. I wish game developers would make it so you can choose to turn the language off...like some games allow you to turn off the blood.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I wish game developers would make it so you can choose to turn the language off...like some games allow you to turn off the blood.

 

That would be wonderful!

[angela in ohio]

We are not anti-gun or anti-war. Dh is an NRA instructor. He and ds were squirrel hunting two days ago. :D You get the point...

 

But we teach dc that we don't point guns at people unless we are defending our life or the life of another. It is certainly not for recreation.

[stansclan89]

We don't allow Rated M, but everything else is ok. This eliminates most language, the worst of the goriness, and usually treating bad guys as a good thing (like Grand Theft Auto).

 

I've always allowed them to play "war" in person or on games. They understand that it is just play. They also have Nerf dart guns (what's the point of having those if you can't shoot your brothers).

[Guest janainaz]

I would not allow my boys to play games where people are shooting people. It bothers me also.

[Julie in CA]

They are allowed in our house. As with movies, TV, or anything else that is fantasy-based, conversations have been had, and will continue to be had, that this is make-believe, and not what we do or how we treat people in real life. My children understand that. My boys are very nice people, and rarely have any problems interacting with others in a pleasant manner. I am frequently complimented on their behaviour. They are boys, they like to rough-house, and they are not perfect. But those moments do not come from them playing video games where they shoot pretend guns at pretend people.

 

I know that it could be an issue for some, as I have read/heard of people who do horrible things based on games they played...but I do believe those same people probably already had a major issue, that would have fixated on SOMETHING as their unsound reasoning to explain their behaviour.

:iagree: Ditto on this exactly for my boys/young men.

[Julie in CA]

I hate that! My Dh likes to play the shooter type games, but we get so tired of hearing all the language. He is not even comfortable playing Halo around our girls, because you never know when a cuss word is going to come out. I wish game developers would make it so you can choose to turn the language off...like some games allow you to turn off the blood.

Uhmm...my boys do turn off the sound.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I hate that! My Dh likes to play the shooter type games, but we get so tired of hearing all the language. He is not even comfortable playing Halo around our girls, because you never know when a cuss word is going to come out. I wish game developers would make it so you can choose to turn the language off...like some games allow you to turn off the blood.

 

DS is playing COD again and I asked him to go to the main options page. We clicked on the restricted version and the bad language is gone along with the bloody gore.

[Peek a Boo]

It doesn't seem "right" to us to get comfortable shooting at people - pretend or not.

 

:iagree:

 

 

Something like Oblivion doesn't bother me; it's sort of a fantasy game where you take out giant spiders and wolves and such with flaming arrows. OTOH, Assasin's Creed has the main character running around cutting throats and such.

 

I also don't let the kids watch games with a lot of language, like Metal Gear Solid.

 

We don't have either of those, but i agree with the general idea.

 

We stress that you never, ever point a gun at a human unless you are ready to kill them. We don't take that lightly, and for that reason we don't allow video games that portray killing. We do allow squirt guns. And we do hunt, so everyone knows how to safely handle a gun here.

:iagree:

 

Shooting people should not be entertaining. I have a hard time enforcing this, though, because Narnia, Harry Potter, and all the other fantasy stuff my kids adore (and play, though not as a video game) is all full of people pointing weapons at other people with harmful intent.

 

I don't forbid all violent movies and books, only the ones that have you practicing killing. If someone must be killed, I would rather see stories that emphasize that killing a person should be avoided as much as possible. Most fantasy stories like the ones you mention "make the cut" because the storyline emphasizes life and love-- not death and destruction.

anything that is "killed" [disappears, etc] in a video game better not look like anything real on earth.

monsters=ok

people=not ok [even if they are all mafia and villains]

realistic animals=not ok. not every animal is out to eat you, and smart hunting doesn't kill every animal it sees.

and gore/torture don't ever make the cut.

 

Someone really needs to write a peacewalking video game. I swear it's just as exciting to bolt yourself to a tree while corporate flunkies aim bulldozers at you.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

 

I've always allowed them to play "war" in person or on games. They understand that it is just play. They also have Nerf dart guns (what's the point of having those if you can't shoot your brothers).

 

our rule for "war play" is that you have to ask the other person before you shoot them, and they have to agree to be shot "dead". :D

[Punks in Ontario]

I'd like to say this wouldn't be allowed at our house, but some things have snuck in.

 

My guys have an old Age of Empires game with historical type figures attacking. The boys were in complete agreement with not buying the more graphic newer versions of this game because it was so much more realistic.

 

They've also gotten a couple of star wars type games with shooting and sword play. Once again, they're not very realistic.

 

My one son also has his own rifle, and both the older boys have used guns of various sizes. They are well aware of safety.

 

I think you should go with your instincts. If the game makes you uncomfortable, there is a reason. Best to nix it quickly, before some really violent games comes home.

[EarleneW]

Halo is the game of choice here for all the boys ds's age.

[Bee]

But I have girls so they generally aren't interested in games that involve guns. Older dd is currently playing Assasin's Creed 2. And younger dd plays it too. But they haven't shown any interest in any actual war games. They seem to prefer games that have 1 character that they can be and games that create a better back drop world rather than games that require the player to keep moving or die. Sometimes they just want the character to walk around and do "normal" stuff like driving a car or shopping. Older dd says she likes her characters to have a back story. She likes games that allow her to make choices. Younger dd's favorites are Sims games but she never plays to complete games. I think it's just brain candy for her (and not necessarily in a good way. She has to have her game time limited because she can't limit herself.)

[stansclan89]

our rule for "war play" is that you have to ask the other person before you shoot them, and they have to agree to be shot "dead". :D

 

Our rule is if you are holding a weapon, you are playing the game. If you don't want to be attacked, don't hold a weapon. ;)

[Heather in Neverland]

It really depends. We are not anti-war or anti-gun either (ds has many sharpshooting awards) so SOME games are OK. It depends on the level of violence...is there blood flying everywhere? Is it gory? Is there bad language? Scantily-clad females? etc. That pretty much limits our choices these days. Ds was playing some Medal of Honor games someone loaned him and they DO affect him...he becomes rather aggressive after playing them so we limit that kind of stuff.

 

Luckily he is not all that into videogames...he'd rather play strategy-type board games like Warhammer 40,000.

[Tidbits of Learning]

I just lost this battle in our home. I have not allowed the T or M rated games for my children. However, DS's Boy Scout troop hosted a lock-in this month and so many of the boys - all of them except DS - brought Call of Duty that DS had to choose between playing by himself or joining in with the others. DS chose to play COD. I was not happy. My first reaction was to call the scoutmaster and complain - there should have been other choices for those boys whose families have decided these games are not appropriate for 12 & 13 year olds. While I still believe that to be true I didn't make the call.

 

DS is the only homeschooled child in his Troop and the only one from a conservative family. He has been left out of many overnight sleepovers, Saturday game days, etc. because he has not been allowed to play the war games. I finally relented and allowed DS to purchase COD with his Christmas money.

 

The first 10 seconds of turning it on came with three F+++ bombs and a few other curse words. I am so sad that this is what is the norm for boys these days. :(

 

You need to call. You have to have an ID to purchase this game. It is much worse than curse words. You have to choose to shoot a whole airport full of people as to not give away your cover to Russian enemies that you are pretending to befriend. After you shoot the airport up, the Russian leader kills you and the murders are blamed on the US.

This is moral issues and blurs a lot of lines. It is basically how far and how many lines would you cross in order to save freedom and patriotism. This is the Modern Warfare one. I know b/c I have watched my dh play this game for 2 weeks after the kids go to bed. It is an interesting game for a grown man that has been in the military. I would not recommend this for anyone under 16 and then I would have a serious talk about the context of the plot. There are huge blurs in right and wrong and morality issues that come up in war.

Edited January 2, 2010 by OpenMinded

[Peek a Boo]

Our rule is if you are holding a weapon, you are playing the game. If you don't want to be attacked, don't hold a weapon. ;)

 

yeah, but i found that too often ANYTHING in an unsuspecting "victim's" hand was immediately assumed to be a weapon, lol. heaven forbid you unintentionally chew your PBJ into a shape that remotely resembles a gun. BANG!

 

or --"here, hold this squirt gun for me, please?" ---then-- BANG! great. now the 4yo's feelings are hurt and I gotta actually parent. ;)

 

can't have too much of that now, can we? lol!

[Trixie]

We don't play them. Period. Killing for entertainment is unacceptable.

[StephanieZ]

Nope, not allowed. I am pretty flexible on many things, but this is one of my lines in the sand. No games in which you are shooting at other human beings. I will tolerate (but dislike & wouldn't allow in the house) games where ds is shooting at bambi, etc, but no shooting at people. Period.

 

Not even at other people's homes. He knows it. He abides by it even when I am not there (amazingly).

 

Ds is pretty typical boy -- loves to shoot, crash cars, blow things up. There are LOTS of options that don't include shooting people.

[Peela]

We allow them. Not saying I am perfectly comfortable about it, and we have set limits, but we allow them.

We don't have guns in Australia. It's not something that's part of our culture.

I am not sure whether the violent war computer games do harm or not. I think they may do harm with kids who are already neglected, at risk, imbalanced etc, but for the general majority, I think it may be more of a release. I know many adult men who play these games and they are not violent people. I know men who are very peace loving who enjoy violent movies and games more than "chick flicks"....it seems to me, and from what I have read, that for a normal, well balanced male psyche, the games can provide an outlet for that warrior spirit. A way to express it without actually hurting anyone.

If you've lasted till your kid is 12 without them, you are doing well. My problem with them isn't so much the violence in the games....its how addictive they can be, and how boring everyday life seems without them. We have had to severely curtail ds14's online time because he gets really addicted and unless we set strict limits, he ends up spending a lot of time on them. He has friends on the street, he can still play imaginatively, but if the friends arent there...he complains about "nothing to do" if he isnt allowed on the computer.

[lovinmykids]

I honestly think I have really sheltered my kids, and for good reason. There just is alot of bad influences out there.

When my boys were little, they were not allowed to even have toy guns or make things that would represent a gun. I just didn't feel they were old enough to understand what they were doing. I think they were just too little and they would get the wrong idea and think it's o.k. to shoot someone for real.

My boys are now teens and I still do shelter them ALOT but I do let them now play the video games that are war related. The one boy really only does and he says he wants to go into the military. It's like they are really playing in the military, it's unbelievable.

He's old enough now to understand that he is only playing a video game representing a "war" and he would never actually do it in the real world.

I never had brothers growing up so when I had boys, I had a really hard time understanding how they really work and think.

For some reason, they like the whole shooting idea just like girls like playing "house" or "school". It's how were all wired.

I guess I would always tell someone to not let kids do the whole shooting thing while there kids are little but as they grow, you just talk to them and then you grow while they grow.

It's hard, but it's life.....just like letting your child drive away with your car!! My biggy that I struggle with. I just pray all the time for her safety.